Godiswithme: I'm very scared

[Shep]

I get the the constricted throat thing all the time. I have it right now in fact. It comes and goes and feels like there is a lump in my throat. I don't think mine has to do with anxiety bc my anxiety has subsided awhile ago. I definitely think it's a WD symptom though. 

 

 

This may be dysphagia, which can come from any type of psych drug. It can also be an adverse reaction.  Here is more about that: 

 

Swallowing and Throat Problems

 

Did this start or get worse after you reinstated the Lexapro? It could be an adverse reaction to the Lexapro. 

 

I had dysphagia from Klonopin and then after coming off of Seroquel, it's a really common withdrawal effect. 

 

I periodically had to go on a liquid diet during the worst of it. I was eating soups and drinking green smoothies (spinach, coconut milk, blueberries, flaxseed, cocoa powder, etc) until it passed because of the fear of choking. 

 

This is way we're being very cautious when it comes to recommending reinstatements. It gets very, very complicated the more drugs you put back into the mix, as the withdrawal symptoms and side effects all start to merge together. 

 

I hope this information is helpful, as sometimes just the reassurance that it's a normal part of withdrawal can ease the mind. 

[Godiswithme]

 

I get the the constricted throat thing all the time. I have it right now in fact. It comes and goes and feels like there is a lump in my throat. I don't think mine has to do with anxiety bc my anxiety has subsided awhile ago. I definitely think it's a WD symptom though.

 

This may be dysphagia, which can come from any type of psych drug. It can also be an adverse reaction. Here is more about that:

 

Swallowing and Throat Problems

 

Did this start or get worse after you reinstated the Lexapro? It could be an adverse reaction to the Lexapro.

 

I had dysphagia from Klonopin and then after coming off of Seroquel, it's a really common withdrawal effect.

 

I periodically had to go on a liquid diet during the worst of it. I was eating soups and drinking green smoothies (spinach, coconut milk, blueberries, flaxseed, cocoa powder, etc) until it passed because of the fear of choking.

 

This is way we're being very cautious when it comes to recommending reinstatements. It gets very, very complicated the more drugs you put back into the mix, as the withdrawal symptoms and side effects all start to merge together.

 

I hope this information is helpful, as sometimes just the reassurance that it's a normal part of withdrawal can ease the mind.

Shep,

Thank you again for your most thoughtful response.

I can't live on a couch for the next whatever number of years. Something is wrong here. People are working and living. I guess because they are tapering. I guess it's the 2 1/2 C/T's. That I did. I didn't know it was wrong. I am desperately trying to live for my kids. I will risk anything.

[Shep]

GIWM, I do get what you're saying and I feel for you, as I know you love your children very much.

 

Yes, the cold turkey withdrawal people do get slammed the hardest and some do end up bedbound. 

 

Whether an Abilify reinstatement will work this far out or whether it will come with symptoms that are as debilitating as going through a cold turkey is, again, an unknown. 

 

If it's financial pressures that are pushing you back into the work force, you may want to research what you would need to do to get on disability. Or like I wrote either on your thread or in a PM, looking for a job that has less pressure or perhaps something part time. 

 

You can try and reinstate the antipsychotic, but since you've recently reinstated the Lexapro and made some dose changes, you will be dealing with the problems of trying to know what is causing what.

 

I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this due to the clueless acts of your doctor, but sadly, that's the situation that many of us - especially those of us with cold turkey withdrawal issues - are dealing with. 

 

Is the Lexapro still helping with your symptoms? Please kindly update your signature to show your Lexapro reinstatement.

 

How is the Xanax affecting you now? Are you still dealing with the symptoms of agitation you described here on your benzo thread? 

[Chicago77]

 

I get the the constricted throat thing all the time. I have it right now in fact. It comes and goes and feels like there is a lump in my throat. I don't think mine has to do with anxiety bc my anxiety has subsided awhile ago. I definitely think it's a WD symptom though. 

 

 

This may be dysphagia, which can come from any type of psych drug. It can also be an adverse reaction.  Here is more about that: 

 

Swallowing and Throat Problems

 

Did this start or get worse after you reinstated the Lexapro? It could be an adverse reaction to the Lexapro. 

 

I had dysphagia from Klonopin and then after coming off of Seroquel, it's a really common withdrawal effect. 

 

I periodically had to go on a liquid diet during the worst of it. I was eating soups and drinking green smoothies (spinach, coconut milk, blueberries, flaxseed, cocoa powder, etc) until it passed because of the fear of choking. 

 

This is way we're being very cautious when it comes to recommending reinstatements. It gets very, very complicated the more drugs you put back into the mix, as the withdrawal symptoms and side effects all start to merge together. 

 

I hope this information is helpful, as sometimes just the reassurance that it's a normal part of withdrawal can ease the mind. 

 

 

Hi Shep, 

 

I'm stopped taking Lexapro in March/2016. The throat thing started about 4 months off of the drugs. Good to know it's for sure a WD symptom. I was just trying to let GIWM know that I have the same thing. 

[Godiswithme]

Ok, could Abilify be the reason for the debilitating panic? Terror? Non stop? Could I possibly get a little relief from the non stop fear? And then taper? I was only on 2 mg. which I know is enough. I answered benzo Q on benzo forum.

Any help? I've seen threads where people get back on. Why isn't it an option for me, do reinstatement ever help with panic and terror?

[Shep]

GIWM, on your benzo thread, you state you started a Xanax-to-Klonopin crossover in this post here. 

 

As we mentioned in your benzo thread, when you do a crossover, since Klonopin is not identical to Xanax, it hits other receptor sites. This means that you are in Xanax withdrawal and it may take awhile for the Klonopin to have its full effect. 

 

Please do not make any other changes, including reinstating the antipsychotic, until you can gage how your crossover is effecting you. It will be impossible to tell if the crossover is effective if you're adding in more drugs. 

 

 

[Godiswithme]

Shep. Thank you for all of the helpful information.

[Dude]

30 minutes ago, Godiswithme said:

Omg. I feel that way every single day. I Cold turkeyed and had to reinstate. You described my thoughts exactly. Even the part about regrets prior to this debacle.

 

Hi there Godiswithme

 

Just wanted to ask, are you now back on Lexapro (escitalopram)? It's just that although you wrote that you "cold turkeyed and had to reinstate", your signature only mentions the "cold turkeying" (Sept 2016), not the reinstatement. Hope you don't mind my asking. Am just curious.

[Godiswithme]

I don’t mind you asking at all. I haven’t updated my signature. I reinstated Lexapro Jan 2017. I started very low and went up very slowly. 

I stabilized at 15mg. But now I am tapering Klonopin. I am down to .475 mg. Split into 2 doses. Worst symptom is EXTREMELY tight chest. It feels like someone is tightening a belt around my chest. It really is awful. 

[Godiswithme]

Hi. I had been on 30 mg of Lexapro for 2 years. I cold turkeyed in Sept 2016. I slowly reinstated Lexapro starting in January 2017 through May 2017. I started very low and was able to stop at 15mg. 

I have taken 15 mg since May 2017. 

Last night, for the first time, I think I may have taken the Lexapro twice, meaning 30 mg. I feel horrible. I plan to make sure this never happens again. 

Can anyone offer an opinion as to whether this one time mistake could have long lasting effects?

[SkyBlue]

41 minutes ago, Godiswithme said:

Last night, for the first time, I think I may have taken the Lexapro twice, meaning 30 mg. I feel horrible. I plan to make sure this never happens again. 

Can anyone offer an opinion as to whether this one time mistake could have long lasting effects?

 

Hello,

 

Oh, that's so frustrating. But please forgive yourself--we all make mistakes. 

 

I would think that a one-time mistake is not going to have long-lasting effects. It should settle out just fine. 

 

Hang in there and let us know how you're doing. 

 

 

[Godiswithme]

I’m sorry. When I said, “I feel horrible”, I meant physically. I feel like I stuck my finger into an electrical socket. 

Thank you for your kind words. 

[ChessieCat]

I did the opposite recently and took 50% of my dose for 5 days before realising.  Try to distract yourself and not worry about it, because worrying adds stress.  You cannot change what has happened so accept that it is what it is, a mistake.

 

It's annoying that we have made a mistake, it is going to take time and we need to use non drug techniques to get through the discomfort and keep our stress to a minimum to give our brain the best conditions for adjusting to the dose changes.

[Godiswithme]

Thank you ChessieCat. 

[India]

On 4/10/2018 at 12:02 AM, Godiswithme said:

Time passed and my life got better.

This is a central tenant of my belief now. If I could dialogue with my younger self I would tell her this. 11 years of citalopram and I still experienced regular depressive episodes but developed the dependency that has left me trying to get off the things since September 2017. I believe now I could of managed my condition. I expect a lot of people feel like this.  I will never go to a mainstream psychiatrist again  . I have really learnt a hard lesson. However, there is hope in so many stories of recovery, here and on the rest of the Internet.

[Godiswithme]

On 10/6/2018 at 2:38 AM, India said:

This is a central tenant of my belief now. If I could dialogue with my younger self I would tell her this. 11 years of citalopram and I still experienced regular depressive episodes but developed the dependency that has left me trying to get off the things since September 2017. I believe now I could of managed my condition. I expect a lot of people feel like this.  I will never go to a mainstream psychiatrist again  . I have really learnt a hard lesson. However, there is hope in so many stories of recovery, here and on the rest of the Internet.

Yes, a million times yes. I feel like a complete idiot. I’ll never understand how I could have done this.  If I would have had an idea this could happen, I never would have taken it. I didn’t read the warnings on the prescription bag. Although, I doubt the warning says, “You may be thrust through the gates of hell.”  

I was never depressed.  I was “overwhelmed” with life issues. And now, I’m most likely stuck on Lexapro for life. At this point, I should feel lucky to still have a life. But every time I have to take it, I want to throw it across the room. 

 

 

[India]

16 minutes ago, Godiswithme said:

Yes, a million times yes. I feel like a complete idiot. I’ll never understand how I could have done this.  If I would have had an idea this could happen, I never would have taken it. I didn’t read the warnings on the prescription bag. Although, I doubt the warning says, “You may be thrust through the gates of hell.”  

I was never depressed.  I was “overwhelmed” with life issues. And now, I’m most likely stuck on Lexapro for life. At this point, I should feel lucky to still have a life. But every time I have to take it, I want to throw it across the room. 

 

 

Millions and millions of people buy into the pharmaceutical paradigm including psychiatrist's themselves. My sister works as a trauma physio, her friends are young doctor's being trained by textbooks. There is a cognitive dissonance. It's true many escape unscathed. My sister reduced sertraline after 3 years and came off it in 6 weeks no problems, similarly an academic friend of mine transited off after 11 years on sertraline in a similar time period with all her cognitive faculties ( though having dyspraxia has always put me at a disadvantage I have never felt such a cognitive functioning straitjacket as this and at times I feel despondent). I suspect in their gazes a sort of unfathomable disbelief in my current extreme symptoms, but that has always been the nature of subjectivity and it's role in empathy. How far can one go emphasising with another if they have not been through it, though there are clearly those that  are able to through listening to narrative (thinking David Healy and Joanna Moncrieff). I may have been one of these instead of a member of surviving antidepressants had I never had a breakdown in 2007 (based on a life event I may never have encountered) in which case having come off easily in 2005 never fully understood the gravity of all of this. Those unfortunate souls who go through hell share an understanding with each other that others cannot.

 

The point is you aren't stupid , before my second breakdown in 2010, I was researching my dissertation on literature and madness and read many books about barbaric and bizarre psychiatric interventions over the ages, not realising I would to experience a fall out because I too bought that the pills I was on were innocuous and modern. I saw distrust of modern psychiatry as slightly paranoic.  I also was being "anesthetised" by the pills. It's detachment. That's one aspect of psychiatric profession in relation to their patients , a profound detachment.

 A note on hopelessness and despair. I too have felt this and every day experience panic and anger.  I have taken 4 times longer to write this than I ever would  have and I was crying to my mum yesterday (I am 35) that the psychiatrists and pills have caused me brain damage .. My memory is shot. It can feel terrifying. However, people do recover. The brain wants to heal. Ppl do heal. We've got to try and hold onto that. Yes, no one should have to go through these horrors but I like to watch videos on Katie piper the British acid attack survivor who has rebuilt her life. She has great meditations on trauma and the feeling of powerlessness. I am holding onto the fact that people come back traumatic brain injury and stroke. Try not to turn the anger on yourself. Maybe this is all a process of grief and all those stages. I feel angry that so many of us are being discounted by the medical profession. I mean the evidence is of this epidemic is undeniable. i find i am very suggestive in this state  so be careful what you read .... I have found really stories of hope and recovery to help me a lot. That's not that anger and truthful of one's condition be denied but rather to honour your sensitivities. 

[Godiswithme]

Thank you so much, India. As you know, this has been an unimaginable hell. I got out of this alive by the skin of my teeth. I don’t think I will ever have the nerve to try to get off of the Lexapro. 

I want to read your story to see what you have experienced. I wish you peace. 

[Godiswithme]

I was wondering how things work with these drugs as far as prepping for a colonoscopy. I think I am technically still in withdrawal. Does anyone have any information on how the prep effected them? Would it flush the drug out of your system to the point where it would be comparable to missing a dose? 

[ChessieCat]

Here is SA's discussion topic:  colonoscopy

 

[Godiswithme]

On 12/3/2018 at 3:55 AM, ChessieCat said:

Here is SA's discussion topic:  colonoscopy

 

 

On 12/3/2018 at 3:55 AM, ChessieCat said:

Here is SA's discussion topic:  colonoscopy

 

ChessieCat. Thank you so much for the link. My main concern is - will the prep flush the AD dose out of my system and cause a problem? I can’t find any info on that. I’m terrified to mess with anything. 

[ChessieCat]

I suggest that you contact your specialist and ask when you should take your drug/s so that you get maximum absorption.

[RachelSusan]

Just went through it.  I did not have a problem.  I did the flush at night.  I took my medication in the a.m. prior to the colonoscopy. I am on liquid Zoloft and doctor's office approved that tiny little amount.  If you are on hard pill perhaps you can bring it with you to the medical location and take it right after you come out of anesthesia? Be sure to run all by your doctor as I did. But to answer your main question, I did not have any problem at all and did not feel like I missed a dose.   Naturally we are not identical but I do hope that you have the same good luck that I did. 

RS

 

[Godiswithme]

On 12/18/2018 at 5:04 PM, RachelSusan said:

Just went through it.  I did not have a problem.  I did the flush at night.  I took my medication in the a.m. prior to the colonoscopy. I am on liquid Zoloft and doctor's office approved that tiny little amount.  If you are on hard pill perhaps you can bring it with you to the medical location and take it right after you come out of anesthesia? Be sure to run all by your doctor as I did. But to answer your main question, I did not have any problem at all and did not feel like I missed a dose.   Naturally we are not identical but I do hope that you have the same good luck that I did. 

RS

 

Thank you so much for responding!