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Godiswithme: I'm very scared

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Shep

I get the the constricted throat thing all the time. I have it right now in fact. It comes and goes and feels like there is a lump in my throat. I don't think mine has to do with anxiety bc my anxiety has subsided awhile ago. I definitely think it's a WD symptom though. 

 

 

This may be dysphagia, which can come from any type of psych drug. It can also be an adverse reaction.  Here is more about that: 

 

Swallowing and Throat Problems

 

Did this start or get worse after you reinstated the Lexapro? It could be an adverse reaction to the Lexapro. 

 

I had dysphagia from Klonopin and then after coming off of Seroquel, it's a really common withdrawal effect. 

 

I periodically had to go on a liquid diet during the worst of it. I was eating soups and drinking green smoothies (spinach, coconut milk, blueberries, flaxseed, cocoa powder, etc) until it passed because of the fear of choking. 

 

This is way we're being very cautious when it comes to recommending reinstatements. It gets very, very complicated the more drugs you put back into the mix, as the withdrawal symptoms and side effects all start to merge together. 

 

I hope this information is helpful, as sometimes just the reassurance that it's a normal part of withdrawal can ease the mind. 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Godiswithme

 

I get the the constricted throat thing all the time. I have it right now in fact. It comes and goes and feels like there is a lump in my throat. I don't think mine has to do with anxiety bc my anxiety has subsided awhile ago. I definitely think it's a WD symptom though.

 

This may be dysphagia, which can come from any type of psych drug. It can also be an adverse reaction. Here is more about that:

 

Swallowing and Throat Problems

 

Did this start or get worse after you reinstated the Lexapro? It could be an adverse reaction to the Lexapro.

 

I had dysphagia from Klonopin and then after coming off of Seroquel, it's a really common withdrawal effect.

 

I periodically had to go on a liquid diet during the worst of it. I was eating soups and drinking green smoothies (spinach, coconut milk, blueberries, flaxseed, cocoa powder, etc) until it passed because of the fear of choking.

 

This is way we're being very cautious when it comes to recommending reinstatements. It gets very, very complicated the more drugs you put back into the mix, as the withdrawal symptoms and side effects all start to merge together.

 

I hope this information is helpful, as sometimes just the reassurance that it's a normal part of withdrawal can ease the mind.

Shep,

Thank you again for your most thoughtful response.

I can't live on a couch for the next whatever number of years. Something is wrong here. People are working and living. I guess because they are tapering. I guess it's the 2 1/2 C/T's. That I did. I didn't know it was wrong. I am desperately trying to live for my kids. I will risk anything.


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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Shep

GIWM, I do get what you're saying and I feel for you, as I know you love your children very much.

 

Yes, the cold turkey withdrawal people do get slammed the hardest and some do end up bedbound. 

 

Whether an Abilify reinstatement will work this far out or whether it will come with symptoms that are as debilitating as going through a cold turkey is, again, an unknown. 

 

If it's financial pressures that are pushing you back into the work force, you may want to research what you would need to do to get on disability. Or like I wrote either on your thread or in a PM, looking for a job that has less pressure or perhaps something part time. 

 

You can try and reinstate the antipsychotic, but since you've recently reinstated the Lexapro and made some dose changes, you will be dealing with the problems of trying to know what is causing what.

 

I'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this due to the clueless acts of your doctor, but sadly, that's the situation that many of us - especially those of us with cold turkey withdrawal issues - are dealing with. 

 

Is the Lexapro still helping with your symptoms? Please kindly update your signature to show your Lexapro reinstatement.

 

How is the Xanax affecting you now? Are you still dealing with the symptoms of agitation you described here on your benzo thread


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Chicago77

 

I get the the constricted throat thing all the time. I have it right now in fact. It comes and goes and feels like there is a lump in my throat. I don't think mine has to do with anxiety bc my anxiety has subsided awhile ago. I definitely think it's a WD symptom though. 

 

 

This may be dysphagia, which can come from any type of psych drug. It can also be an adverse reaction.  Here is more about that: 

 

Swallowing and Throat Problems

 

Did this start or get worse after you reinstated the Lexapro? It could be an adverse reaction to the Lexapro. 

 

I had dysphagia from Klonopin and then after coming off of Seroquel, it's a really common withdrawal effect. 

 

I periodically had to go on a liquid diet during the worst of it. I was eating soups and drinking green smoothies (spinach, coconut milk, blueberries, flaxseed, cocoa powder, etc) until it passed because of the fear of choking. 

 

This is way we're being very cautious when it comes to recommending reinstatements. It gets very, very complicated the more drugs you put back into the mix, as the withdrawal symptoms and side effects all start to merge together. 

 

I hope this information is helpful, as sometimes just the reassurance that it's a normal part of withdrawal can ease the mind. 

 

 

Hi Shep, 

 

I'm stopped taking Lexapro in March/2016. The throat thing started about 4 months off of the drugs. Good to know it's for sure a WD symptom. I was just trying to let GIWM know that I have the same thing.  :)


Took 10 mg of Lexapro for 15 years. Started to taper in October 2015. Took last 1mg dose in March 2016. Started having side effects end of March 2016. Symptoms include: anxiety, heart palpitations, shaky, chronic fatigue, body feels like lead(so heavy), brain fog and dizziness and really bad pain especially on right side of body. 

 

Symptoms as of 10/18/16- Burning skin, widespread body pain, some insomnia, some fatigue, some brain fog, anxiety upon waking up, numbing and tremor in pinky and ring finger on left hand, cracking/popping/stiff joints. 

 

Symptoms as of 4/19/17- A little burning skin, muscle pain, FATIGUE, some brain fog, tremor in pinky and ring finger on left hand, cracking/popping/stiff joints, blurry vision, eye floaters, sciatica.

 

Symptoms as of 10/3/17- Physical symptoms-- Very little burning skin that comes and goes, some muscle and nerve pain that comes and goes, tremor in pinky and ring finger, muscle twitches, cortisol spike in the morning(heart palpitations), cracking/popping joints all those this has gotten a little better lately, blurry vision and eye floaters that come and go, sciatica(less intense now), fatigue which is still very bad but better than a year ago. Mental symptoms-- Depression, anxiety, hopelessness, lack of motivation or interest, brain fog(trouble focusing and concentrating), ruminating thoughts. All these come and go. 

 

 

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Godiswithme

Ok, could Abilify be the reason for the debilitating panic? Terror? Non stop? Could I possibly get a little relief from the non stop fear? And then taper? I was only on 2 mg. which I know is enough. I answered benzo Q on benzo forum.

Any help? I've seen threads where people get back on. Why isn't it an option for me, do reinstatement ever help with panic and terror?


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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Shep

GIWM, on your benzo thread, you state you started a Xanax-to-Klonopin crossover in this post here

 

As we mentioned in your benzo thread, when you do a crossover, since Klonopin is not identical to Xanax, it hits other receptor sites. This means that you are in Xanax withdrawal and it may take awhile for the Klonopin to have its full effect. 

 

Please do not make any other changes, including reinstating the antipsychotic, until you can gage how your crossover is effecting you. It will be impossible to tell if the crossover is effective if you're adding in more drugs. 

 

 


Drug free May 22, 2015 after 30 years of neuroleptics, benzos, z-drugs, so-called "anti"-depressants, and amphetamines 

 

My Success Story:  Shep's Success: "Leaving Plato's Cave"


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

 

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Godiswithme

Shep. Thank you for all of the helpful information.


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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Dude
30 minutes ago, Godiswithme said:

Omg. I feel that way every single day. I Cold turkeyed and had to reinstate. You described my thoughts exactly. Even the part about regrets prior to this debacle.

 

Hi there Godiswithme

 

Just wanted to ask, are you now back on Lexapro (escitalopram)? It's just that although you wrote that you "cold turkeyed and had to reinstate", your signature only mentions the "cold turkeying" (Sept 2016), not the reinstatement. Hope you don't mind my asking. Am just curious.


No longer a member.

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Godiswithme

I don’t mind you asking at all. I haven’t updated my signature. I reinstated Lexapro Jan 2017. I started very low and went up very slowly. 

I stabilized at 15mg. But now I am tapering Klonopin. I am down to .475 mg. Split into 2 doses. Worst symptom is EXTREMELY tight chest. It feels like someone is tightening a belt around my chest. It really is awful. 


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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Godiswithme

Hi. I had been on 30 mg of Lexapro for 2 years. I cold turkeyed in Sept 2016. I slowly reinstated Lexapro starting in January 2017 through May 2017. I started very low and was able to stop at 15mg. 

I have taken 15 mg since May 2017. 

Last night, for the first time, I think I may have taken the Lexapro twice, meaning 30 mg. I feel horrible. I plan to make sure this never happens again. 

Can anyone offer an opinion as to whether this one time mistake could have long lasting effects?


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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SkyBlue
41 minutes ago, Godiswithme said:

Last night, for the first time, I think I may have taken the Lexapro twice, meaning 30 mg. I feel horrible. I plan to make sure this never happens again. 

Can anyone offer an opinion as to whether this one time mistake could have long lasting effects?

 

Hello,

 

Oh, that's so frustrating. But please forgive yourself--we all make mistakes. 

 

I would think that a one-time mistake is not going to have long-lasting effects. It should settle out just fine. 

 

Hang in there and let us know how you're doing. 

 

 


Current: 2019: 0.04 mg Paxil!! This is real. Soon, after taking Paxil my entire adult life, I will be free.

Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" almost completely off over a month, at doctor's advice in July 2015.

Self-care includes magnesium, reasonable exercise, mindfulness, this forum and nutrition/eating enough food.

Also on 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!! (which I now will have the knowledge to taper properly)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Longer version: On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression caused by (undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder.

Doctor kept increasing dose, up to 60 mg; it never really helped but said it really was the best "med" for me.

Rapid doctor-led "taper" July 2015, down to 5 mg, with Zoloft as a "cross-taper" = Essentially a cold turkey. 

Severe withdrawal but didn't know it; believed it was my "underlying condition," and kept tapering, 5mg to 4 to 3  to 2 to 1.  

Feb 2016: Found SA! As of June 2016, tapering from 1mg at rate of 5-10% per month, Brassmonkey Slide! 

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Godiswithme

I’m sorry. When I said, “I feel horrible”, I meant physically. I feel like I stuck my finger into an electrical socket. 

Thank you for your kind words. 


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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ChessieCat

I did the opposite recently and took 50% of my dose for 5 days before realising.  Try to distract yourself and not worry about it, because worrying adds stress.  You cannot change what has happened so accept that it is what it is, a mistake.

 

It's annoying that we have made a mistake, it is going to take time and we need to use non drug techniques to get through the discomfort and keep our stress to a minimum to give our brain the best conditions for adjusting to the dose changes.


Being very patient.  I'll get there - slowly.  ETA mid 2021

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 12 Sept 2020:  Pristiq 0.625 mg (compounded)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Godiswithme

Thank you ChessieCat. 


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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India
On 4/10/2018 at 12:02 AM, Godiswithme said:

Time passed and my life got better.

This is a central tenant of my belief now. If I could dialogue with my younger self I would tell her this. 11 years of citalopram and I still experienced regular depressive episodes but developed the dependency that has left me trying to get off the things since September 2017. I believe now I could of managed my condition. I expect a lot of people feel like this.  I will never go to a mainstream psychiatrist again  . I have really learnt a hard lesson. However, there is hope in so many stories of recovery, here and on the rest of the Internet.


1999:  Paroxetine (20mg). Age 16. 2007-2008: Fluoxetine (Prozac) for 1.5 years (age 25) Citalopram 20mg 2002-2005, 2009: Escitalopram (20mg), 2 weeks, (age 26) (adverse manic reaction)/*Valium 5mg/Temazepam 10mg 2010: Mirtazipine (Remeron)( do not remember dosage) 2010, 5 months.                     

2010-2017: Citalopram (20mg) (age 27 to 34) 2016: i.1st Sept- 31st Oct Citalopram 10mg , ii.1st November 2017-30th November 2017, Citalopram 5mg iii.1st December 2017- 4th February 2018, Citalopram 0mg, iv.5th February 2018- March 2018 Citalopram 5mg (10mg every other day) 28th February- tried titration of 5mg ( some adverse effects)

2018: 1st March 2018- 1st June Citalopram 10 mg (tablet form) /started titration 8mg , then 7 mg.2018: June 15th- 10th July Citalopram 10 mg pill every other day 2018: 10th July - 13th Sept Citalopram- 0mg  (CBD oil first month of 0mg, passiflora on and off) 2018 13th Sept Citalopram  2mg ,  approx 16th Sept 4mg , approx 25th Sept 6mg held.  2019: 11 Feb 19: 7mg (instant bad rxn) 12 Feb 19 6mg held 1 May 19 5.4mg held 5 Oct 19 5.36mg 22 Oct 19 5.29mg 30 Oct 19 5.23mg 4/NOV/19 5.18mg 12 Nov 19 5.08mg 20 Nov 19 4.77mg

(Herbal/Supplements since 1st September: Omega Fish Oil 1200mg, 663mg of EPA- 2 tablets a day, magnesium and magnesium bath salts)

I did not die, and yet I lost life’s breath
- Dante

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Godiswithme
On 10/6/2018 at 2:38 AM, India said:

This is a central tenant of my belief now. If I could dialogue with my younger self I would tell her this. 11 years of citalopram and I still experienced regular depressive episodes but developed the dependency that has left me trying to get off the things since September 2017. I believe now I could of managed my condition. I expect a lot of people feel like this.  I will never go to a mainstream psychiatrist again  . I have really learnt a hard lesson. However, there is hope in so many stories of recovery, here and on the rest of the Internet.

Yes, a million times yes. I feel like a complete idiot. I’ll never understand how I could have done this.  If I would have had an idea this could happen, I never would have taken it. I didn’t read the warnings on the prescription bag. Although, I doubt the warning says, “You may be thrust through the gates of hell.”  

I was never depressed.  I was “overwhelmed” with life issues. And now, I’m most likely stuck on Lexapro for life. At this point, I should feel lucky to still have a life. But every time I have to take it, I want to throw it across the room. 

 

 


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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India
16 minutes ago, Godiswithme said:

Yes, a million times yes. I feel like a complete idiot. I’ll never understand how I could have done this.  If I would have had an idea this could happen, I never would have taken it. I didn’t read the warnings on the prescription bag. Although, I doubt the warning says, “You may be thrust through the gates of hell.”  

I was never depressed.  I was “overwhelmed” with life issues. And now, I’m most likely stuck on Lexapro for life. At this point, I should feel lucky to still have a life. But every time I have to take it, I want to throw it across the room. 

 

 

Millions and millions of people buy into the pharmaceutical paradigm including psychiatrist's themselves. My sister works as a trauma physio, her friends are young doctor's being trained by textbooks. There is a cognitive dissonance. It's true many escape unscathed. My sister reduced sertraline after 3 years and came off it in 6 weeks no problems, similarly an academic friend of mine transited off after 11 years on sertraline in a similar time period with all her cognitive faculties ( though having dyspraxia has always put me at a disadvantage I have never felt such a cognitive functioning straitjacket as this and at times I feel despondent). I suspect in their gazes a sort of unfathomable disbelief in my current extreme symptoms, but that has always been the nature of subjectivity and it's role in empathy. How far can one go emphasising with another if they have not been through it, though there are clearly those that  are able to through listening to narrative (thinking David Healy and Joanna Moncrieff). I may have been one of these instead of a member of surviving antidepressants had I never had a breakdown in 2007 (based on a life event I may never have encountered) in which case having come off easily in 2005 never fully understood the gravity of all of this. Those unfortunate souls who go through hell share an understanding with each other that others cannot.

 

The point is you aren't stupid , before my second breakdown in 2010, I was researching my dissertation on literature and madness and read many books about barbaric and bizarre psychiatric interventions over the ages, not realising I would to experience a fall out because I too bought that the pills I was on were innocuous and modern. I saw distrust of modern psychiatry as slightly paranoic.  I also was being "anesthetised" by the pills. It's detachment. That's one aspect of psychiatric profession in relation to their patients , a profound detachment.

 A note on hopelessness and despair. I too have felt this and every day experience panic and anger.  I have taken 4 times longer to write this than I ever would  have and I was crying to my mum yesterday (I am 35) that the psychiatrists and pills have caused me brain damage .. My memory is shot. It can feel terrifying. However, people do recover. The brain wants to heal. Ppl do heal. We've got to try and hold onto that. Yes, no one should have to go through these horrors but I like to watch videos on Katie piper the British acid attack survivor who has rebuilt her life. She has great meditations on trauma and the feeling of powerlessness. I am holding onto the fact that people come back traumatic brain injury and stroke. Try not to turn the anger on yourself. Maybe this is all a process of grief and all those stages. I feel angry that so many of us are being discounted by the medical profession. I mean the evidence is of this epidemic is undeniable. i find i am very suggestive in this state  so be careful what you read .... I have found really stories of hope and recovery to help me a lot. That's not that anger and truthful of one's condition be denied but rather to honour your sensitivities. 


1999:  Paroxetine (20mg). Age 16. 2007-2008: Fluoxetine (Prozac) for 1.5 years (age 25) Citalopram 20mg 2002-2005, 2009: Escitalopram (20mg), 2 weeks, (age 26) (adverse manic reaction)/*Valium 5mg/Temazepam 10mg 2010: Mirtazipine (Remeron)( do not remember dosage) 2010, 5 months.                     

2010-2017: Citalopram (20mg) (age 27 to 34) 2016: i.1st Sept- 31st Oct Citalopram 10mg , ii.1st November 2017-30th November 2017, Citalopram 5mg iii.1st December 2017- 4th February 2018, Citalopram 0mg, iv.5th February 2018- March 2018 Citalopram 5mg (10mg every other day) 28th February- tried titration of 5mg ( some adverse effects)

2018: 1st March 2018- 1st June Citalopram 10 mg (tablet form) /started titration 8mg , then 7 mg.2018: June 15th- 10th July Citalopram 10 mg pill every other day 2018: 10th July - 13th Sept Citalopram- 0mg  (CBD oil first month of 0mg, passiflora on and off) 2018 13th Sept Citalopram  2mg ,  approx 16th Sept 4mg , approx 25th Sept 6mg held.  2019: 11 Feb 19: 7mg (instant bad rxn) 12 Feb 19 6mg held 1 May 19 5.4mg held 5 Oct 19 5.36mg 22 Oct 19 5.29mg 30 Oct 19 5.23mg 4/NOV/19 5.18mg 12 Nov 19 5.08mg 20 Nov 19 4.77mg

(Herbal/Supplements since 1st September: Omega Fish Oil 1200mg, 663mg of EPA- 2 tablets a day, magnesium and magnesium bath salts)

I did not die, and yet I lost life’s breath
- Dante

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Godiswithme

Thank you so much, India. As you know, this has been an unimaginable hell. I got out of this alive by the skin of my teeth. I don’t think I will ever have the nerve to try to get off of the Lexapro. 

I want to read your story to see what you have experienced. I wish you peace. 


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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Godiswithme

I was wondering how things work with these drugs as far as prepping for a colonoscopy. I think I am technically still in withdrawal. Does anyone have any information on how the prep effected them? Would it flush the drug out of your system to the point where it would be comparable to missing a dose? 


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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ChessieCat

Here is SA's discussion topic:  colonoscopy

 


Being very patient.  I'll get there - slowly.  ETA mid 2021

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 12 Sept 2020:  Pristiq 0.625 mg (compounded)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Godiswithme
On 12/3/2018 at 3:55 AM, ChessieCat said:

Here is SA's discussion topic:  colonoscopy

 

 

On 12/3/2018 at 3:55 AM, ChessieCat said:

Here is SA's discussion topic:  colonoscopy

 

ChessieCat. Thank you so much for the link. My main concern is - will the prep flush the AD dose out of my system and cause a problem? I can’t find any info on that. I’m terrified to mess with anything. 


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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ChessieCat

I suggest that you contact your specialist and ask when you should take your drug/s so that you get maximum absorption.


Being very patient.  I'll get there - slowly.  ETA mid 2021

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 12 Sept 2020:  Pristiq 0.625 mg (compounded)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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RachelSusan

Just went through it.  I did not have a problem.  I did the flush at night.  I took my medication in the a.m. prior to the colonoscopy. I am on liquid Zoloft and doctor's office approved that tiny little amount.  If you are on hard pill perhaps you can bring it with you to the medical location and take it right after you come out of anesthesia? Be sure to run all by your doctor as I did. But to answer your main question, I did not have any problem at all and did not feel like I missed a dose.   Naturally we are not identical but I do hope that you have the same good luck that I did. 

RS

 


Find my story here:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/12649-rachelsusan-my-zoloft-story-on-off-reinstated-in-trouble/?hl=rachelsusan

HISTORY

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 100mg to 150mg Zoloft. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan 19, 2017 reduced to 12.0 mg (4%).   Feb 9 2017 reduced to 11.0 mg (8%). March 1 2017 to 10.0 mg (9 %).  March 21 2017  to 9.5 mg (5%). April 1 2017  to 9.0 mg (5.3%). April 10 2017 to 8.5 mg (5.6%). April 22 2017  8.25 mg (2.9%). April 29 2017  8.0 (3.0%). May 6 2017  7.75 mg (3.1%).  May 14 2017  7.5 mg (3.2%). May 20 2017 to 7.25 mg (3.3%). May 27 2017 reduced to 7.0 mg (3.4%). June 10 2017  to 6.75 mg (3.6%). June 17 2017 to 6.5 mg (3.7%). June 24 2017 6.25 mg (3.8%). July 1 2017 reduced to 6.0 mg. July 8 2017 5.75 mg. July 15 2017 5.5 mg. July 22 2017 5.25 mg.  Aug 5 2017  5.0 mg.  Dec. 9, 2017  4.75 mg (5%).  Feb. 10, 2018 4.50 mg.   March 15, 2018 4.375 mg (2.8% decrease). April 3, 2018 4.25 mg (2.9%). May 14, 2018 4.125% (2.9%). June 16, 2018 4.0 mg (3.0%).  July 21, 2018 3.875mg. August 11, 2018 3.75mg (3.2%). Sept. 12, 2018 3.62mg (3.3%).  Oct. 13, 2018 3.5mg (3.4% decrease). Nov. 29, 2018 3.375mg (3.6% decrease). Jan. 20, 2019 3.25 mgFeb 16, 2019 3.125mg (3.8%). April 7, 2019 3.0mg (4.0%).  May 18, 2019 2.875mg (4.2%). June 22, 2019 2.75mg (4.3%)July 27, 2019 2.62mg (4.5%). August 18, 2019 2.5mg (4.8%). Sept. 14, 2019 2.375mg (5.0%) Oct.19, 2019 2.25mg.  Nov. 16, 2019 2.12mgDec. 7, 2019 2.00mg (5.9%). Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg. May 9, 2020 1.375 mg. June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%). July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.

OTHER MEDICATIONS: Gabapentin - 900 mg since July 2016, Prednisone  5mg.  QVAR Inhalant,  Supplements: Vitamin D, Probiotic, and Fish Oil.

 

 

 

 

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Godiswithme
On 12/18/2018 at 5:04 PM, RachelSusan said:

Just went through it.  I did not have a problem.  I did the flush at night.  I took my medication in the a.m. prior to the colonoscopy. I am on liquid Zoloft and doctor's office approved that tiny little amount.  If you are on hard pill perhaps you can bring it with you to the medical location and take it right after you come out of anesthesia? Be sure to run all by your doctor as I did. But to answer your main question, I did not have any problem at all and did not feel like I missed a dose.   Naturally we are not identical but I do hope that you have the same good luck that I did. 

RS

 

Thank you so much for responding!


in Aug 2014, prescribed 20 mg of escitalopram.  Oct 2014, upped to 30 mg.

In January 2016, "doctor" added 2mg of Abilify

I had been taking .5 Xanax in AM and PM for a few years

Xanax November 23rd, 2016 .25   5 times per day

Took .5 Ativan in AM and .5 Ativan in PM 10 hours apart for 2 weeks and 2 days. I stopped Ativan on Nov 4th 2016

I cold turkeyed off escitalopram and Abilify on September 4, 2016

i crosses over to 1 mg of Klonopin in Dec 2016. 

Since withdrawal, I have occasionally taken 10mg or 20mg propranolol when my heart was pounding uncontrollably

Supplements Magnesium, Vitamin C, Natural Calm magnesium drink.  Just started  11/16/16 Lactium supplement 167mg at night.

Godiswithme: I'm very scared   Godiswithme: Xanax taper after cold-turkey of Lexapro and Abilify

Jan 2017. Slowly reinstated Lexapro over 4-5 mos to 15mg. Have stayed on that amount. 

Sept 2017. Started tapering 1mg of Klonopin. As of May 2017, I am at .426 mg of Klonopin split into 2 doses per day. 

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