☼ pinkfairy: rapid taper of Paxil

[powerback]

1 hour ago, pinkfairy said:

Owww bet you smell boootiful 🤔😆🙈

 

cannot believe how much my symtoms have eased up.Still in hell but the aka as subsided.

 

i eat garlic I smell great 👍🏻 (Not)

goodstuff pink  ,enjoy the  easing of symptoms ,we take anything hey .

just finished some garlic and onion mash ,I made extra for tomorrow lol.

[powerback]

1 hour ago, pinkfairy said:

If you get chance p.b that video with Tara Brach on befriending the fear body is really good...we have to start my giving it a name 🤔 I was perplexed,but the idea is so you don’t identify as the fear body.

 

i have had some lovely conversations tonight let’s hope the neighbours don’t hear me...

 

also brad Yates as loads of eft tapping on you tube...I will be a master of eft when this is over...

cheers ile check it out .

[powerback]

Hows pink ,hope the holiday has been ok .let us know how your are please .

Take care .

Peace🙏

[powerback]

Your worth more than you will imagine pink .happy new year, if your anything like me you'll squint with a face reading that lol but its worth saying .

Take care.

[pinkfairy]

Thank you p.b so much happy new year to you &!yours!

i hope everybody sees profound healing on here 💕

 

 

i have been in a monster wave since the new year.

 

Hit a wall & sleep getting less & less.I was doing abit better at Xmas but I have gone back down the rabbit hole really frightened.

 

Take care & look after your self 

pink xxx

[powerback]

10th of jan diazepam .what's the dose? ,hopefully this will work for you pink .

Your A bit like me with the past ,we keep focusing on dropping it or at least work on  forgiving ourselves pink .

Christmas was a bit of a blur with the switch ,I don't want that again .

Maybe try focus on some nice thoughts of a walk in spring with your dog and son [even 5 mins to start ],I know this will trigger you so sorry pink but we can do it ,im a bit agoraphobic myself at the moment  so sometimes it is best to entertain it  .

when we keep the good memories flowing  it will slowly cancel out the bad ones.

my feet hate the cold ,5 layers of socks on lol.

went out last night for a little walk ,all dressed for the cold and a man walks past me in a tshirt lol,long johns and everything on me .I kind of like the dark when going out in the day overwhelms me .

Keep at it pink ,good to see you around again 👍.

[pinkfairy]

I am still at 4mg p.b not budged on it.No intention my friend.

 

I am under a lot of stress at home.My son is suffering to the extreame.School wants a meeting.

am deeply concerned for him.He wants to come home I have him 4 days now.But am drowning as his needs have to come before my own.I am struggling to stay afloat.

i am breaking out in all skin conditions all over.My dogs poorly too.I have nothing left to give am poring from & empty cup p.b.Totally crashed juggling it all.

 

I made Christmas magical for my son.It took all I had but was worth it.Cannot remember it sadly. 

I got caught in a spiral no warning nothing.Cannot get out of it no matter what I do.Really bad anger out bursts (so not me) 

 

i couldnt tell you the last time I went out doors.Long johns 🙈 lol 

 

I feel trapped lately that feeling of stuck & just spinning.No forwards.

 

Good to hear from you with your long johns & all that.ha...

 

In a very bad place but am trying with all have got to get out.So ground down with it all been a long time at this already.

 

In acute symtoms again.Dam this spiral I am exhausted trying to get out of it.

 

I don’t know what’s a wave or me.I am just merged in a blob of suffering. 

 

Or thank you that means a lot ❤️

I know have upset people on here.It was never my intention too.I appreciate every single person!

 

I don’t come across as a nice person in WD which is definitely not my character.Thats why I know these drugs have definitely changed my whole personality.

 

 

How have you been holding up?

 

ps you don’t trigger me by saying go out.My legs won’t work to go out just constantly over doing it as made me ill.But like I said my child comes first even to my own well being.We have nobody else...

 

Xxx

[pinkfairy]

Ps the guy was in a tee shirt wth...guess his CNS is ok lol 

[powerback]

2 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

I know have upset people on here.It was never my intention too.I appreciate every single person!

 

This is a thinking pattern you need to keep challenging ,this is an exaggerated assumption/neuro emotions  ,not fact .

withdrawl takes the  unhealthy and non serving traits we have and trashes us with it ,its astonishing .

we deserve peace and tranquillity keep telling ourselves this .

Making Christmas like that for your son is great.

You will be overwhelmed in regards the school with your son ,google social  services in your area that can help  you .

 

Remember to be watchful of overwhelming neuro guilt   

 

[powerback]

9 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

Ps the guy was in a tee shirt wth...guess his CNS is ok lol 

Yep ha ,it was warm that's the funny thing .he wasn't exercising either ,he was in  casual ware . 

[powerback]

27 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

his needs have to come before my own.

That's why you keep challenging your thinking ,for him .you cant worry yourself sick .

I'm going to force myself into the sun soon .

Take care🙏.

[pinkfairy]

2 hours ago, powerback said:

This is a thinking pattern you need to keep challenging ,this is an exaggerated assumption/neuro emotions  ,not fact .

withdrawl takes the  unhealthy and non serving traits we have and trashes us with it ,its astonishing .

we deserve peace and tranquillity keep telling ourselves this .

Making Christmas like that for your son is great.

You will be overwhelmed in regards the school with your son ,google social  services in your area that can help  you .

 

Remember to be watchful of overwhelming neuro guilt   

 

There was me & him for Christmas dinner I laid all the table out etc 

I took pictures too look back on.He loved it & made my heart melt.But we were both devastated when he had to go back,as I had him for 2 whole weeks.

 

Tell me about it this rips us too pieces.I feel like some monster 

I am like where’s the person gone who used to help old ladies carry there shopping home if I saw them struggle.

 

Nero emotions in this are just brutal so I hear you.Am exhausted totally as we all are.

 

pb I bet you have got your shorts & tea-shirt on with socks & Sandles ready to go out lol...

 

Pushing in this is brutal it back fires but hey ho no body to come cook & clean & wipe my brow for me.I need a vacation on a dessert island away from everybody (sounds bliss) 

 

Cannot stop itching all over its like ants under my skin urgh!!

 

Off to go make some food  & paint 

well done on getting out!

 

 

 

take care xxx

[powerback]

2 hours ago, pinkfairy said:

There was me & him for Christmas dinner I laid all the table out etc 

I took pictures too look back on.He loved it & made my heart melt.But we were both devastated when he had to go back,as I had him for 2 whole weeks.

 

Tell me about it this rips us too pieces.I feel like some monster 

I am like where’s the person gone who used to help old ladies carry there shopping home if I saw them struggle.

 

Nero emotions in this are just brutal so I hear you.Am exhausted totally as we all are.

 

pb I bet you have got your shorts & tea-shirt on with socks & Sandles ready to go out lol...

 

Pushing in this is brutal it back fires but hey ho no body to come cook & clean & wipe my brow for me.I need a vacation on a dessert island away from everybody (sounds bliss) 

 

Cannot stop itching all over its like ants under my skin urgh!!

 

Off to go make some food  & paint 

well done on getting out!

 

 

 

take care xxx

Your doing everything you can ,give yourself credit ,of course we hate what we are putting up with .think further down the road so as to give yourself a break at the moment .

Seeing him a few days a week is better than 7 days a week driving yourself into the ground .

Keeping your daily routine is good for yous .

Distract yourself by reading up on nutrition. 

I didn't go far for my walk ,wrecked so on couch until hunger makes me move lol.ive put on a stone in weight with no activity for months but I could do with it ,was getting a bit skinny .now im "fat skinny" ,skinny waist and a belly lol.

keep at pink and take Care.

 

 

[pinkfairy]

5 hours ago, powerback said:

Your doing everything you can ,give yourself credit ,of course we hate what we are putting up with .think further down the road so as to give yourself a break at the moment .

Seeing him a few days a week is better than 7 days a week driving yourself into the ground .

Keeping your daily routine is good for yous .

Distract yourself by reading up on nutrition. 

I didn't go far for my walk ,wrecked so on couch until hunger makes me move lol.ive put on a stone in weight with no activity for months but I could do with it ,was getting a bit skinny .now im "fat skinny" ,skinny waist and a belly lol.

keep at pink and take Care.

 

 

Pot bellied pb lol 

 

have gained so much.My figure was lovely before this.I worked out a lot 

jow its like have been smoking crack for 99 years the state of me.

 

This wave is worse than the acute phase (man down) 

 

Am holding on to the bed literally 

normally I listen to music but can’t tolerate noise!So sick taking this drug...But oh my days the waves are with in waves. That’s profound healing taking place...

am snuggled up with my dog & have put nanny McPhee on 🙈 

 

so sorry you didn’t go for your walk hun.maybe tomorrow?I darent leave my home at all.

oh man had climbed out of the rabbit hole before & gone straight in to it again with spirals a plenty.

 

neuro emotions are wild.inner critic having a field day.

 

Have to get back out some how.

 

xxx

[pinkfairy]

Good morning SA travellers ♥️

 

Sleep 5 hours woke up at 4am with no clue where I was.High anxiety & a feeling of icy terror.Burning skin & the feeling of going insane.

 

Had breakfast & did what pb suggested I took my dog around the block at 7.30 am in my dressing gown with a coat over.( it was dark) felt DR/DP quite intense 

 

Got my sons breakfast & doing his school clothes washing them.

Intense pain as though some one is pulling my ribs open.But getting comfort from putting my feet on a football & rolling it around in circles very grounding.

 

10.20am feel wiped out totally exhausted.The feeling of I need to be doing something anything is in intense.

 

i wish you all those forever windows 

[powerback]

14 hours ago, pinkfairy said:

Pot bellied pb lol 

 

have gained so much.My figure was lovely before this.I worked out a lot 

jow its like have been smoking crack for 99 years the state of me.

 

This wave is worse than the acute phase (man down) 

 

Am holding on to the bed literally 

normally I listen to music but can’t tolerate noise!So sick taking this drug...But oh my days the waves are with in waves. That’s profound healing taking place...

am snuggled up with my dog & have put nanny McPhee on 🙈 

 

so sorry you didn’t go for your walk hun.maybe tomorrow?I darent leave my home at all.

oh man had climbed out of the rabbit hole before & gone straight in to it again with spirals a plenty.

 

neuro emotions are wild.inner critic having a field day.

 

Have to get back out some how.

 

xxx

I got out and did some errands I put off all week,i love finding the little wins ,I was hungry and found a wrap in supermarket reduced to nothing lol.did you ever watch extreme cheapskates on tv ,its great ,find loads of tips lol.

So funny I was at the self service machine and there was a big que behind me ,my head ran wild with panic and anxiety ,did the mindfulness and blocked it out lol sorted and moved on ,

I like watching others doing there scanning of items ,some people don't even bat an eyelid at everyone waiting on them ,interesting .

This is the dilemma we are in ,is it the drug we taking or is it withdrawl ,what a pain pink .

[powerback]

29 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

Good morning SA travellers ♥️

 

Sleep 5 hours woke up at 4am with no clue where I was.High anxiety & a feeling of icy terror.Burning skin & the feeling of going insane.

 

Had breakfast & did what pb suggested I took my dog around the block at 7.30 am in my dressing gown with a coat over.( it was dark) felt DR/DP quite intense 

 

Got my sons breakfast & doing his school clothes washing them.

Intense pain as though some one is pulling my ribs open.But getting comfort from putting my feet on a football & rolling it around in circles very grounding.

 

10.20am feel wiped out totally exhausted.The feeling of I need to be doing something anything is in intense.

 

i wish you all those forever windows 

Great you got out pink but it wasn't an order lol,some times its best to protect ourselves and stay in but keep judging it .

winter is hard enough with it this cr*p we go thru so be easy on yourself .

brilliant you got out 👍.

 

[pinkfairy]

15 minutes ago, powerback said:

I got out and did some errands I put off all week,i love finding the little wins ,I was hungry and found a wrap in supermarket reduced to nothing lol.did you ever watch extreme cheapskates on tv ,its great ,find loads of tips lol.

So funny I was at the self service machine and there was a big que behind me ,my head ran wild with panic and anxiety ,did the mindfulness and blocked it out lol sorted and moved on ,

I like watching others doing there scanning of items ,some people don't even bat an eyelid at everyone waiting on them ,interesting .

This is the dilemma we are in ,is it the drug we taking or is it withdrawl ,what a pain pink .

Well done for getting out though & controlling those wild thoughts.

haha brucy bonus finding the wrap  

 

i couldnt tell you the last time I was in a supermarket.I order on line so it’s gets delievered.

 

I think both for me as every time I ingest it,it makes me feel so sick.I have started with rashes & itching after taking mine.Going to go get bloods done some time next week.As I don’t get no daylight with been in 24/7.Its a total fear of been out.

cheapskates no I haven’t seen that 

I like to watch hoarders & then I think hey my house isn’t so bad after all 🙈!

 

baby steps all the way.I have been listening to Marissa peer when able too she’s really good.She as a fantastic meditation on depression & anxiety.

 

[pinkfairy]

19 minutes ago, powerback said:

Great you got out pink but it wasn't an order lol,some times its best to protect ourselves and stay in but keep judging it .

winter is hard enough with it this cr*p we go thru so be easy on yourself .

brilliant you got out 👍.

 

Ha,I know it wasn’t an order but some times another perspective is good in this.As when it’s so intense you can’t see the woods for the trees.

Thanks p.b trying to breathe through these panic attacks.The gift that keeps on giving 😏

 

 

[powerback]

14 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

Well done for getting out though & controlling those wild thoughts.

haha brucy bonus finding the wrap  

 

i couldnt tell you the last time I was in a supermarket.I order on line so it’s gets delievered.

 

I think both for me as every time I ingest it,it makes me feel so sick.I have started with rashes & itching after taking mine.Going to go get bloods done some time next week.As I don’t get no daylight with been in 24/7.Its a total fear of been out.

cheapskates no I haven’t seen that 

I like to watch hoarders & then I think hey my house isn’t so bad after all 🙈!

 

baby steps all the way.I have been listening to Marissa peer when able too she’s really good.She as a fantastic meditation on depression & anxiety.

 

love online supermarket also ,I need to eat every few hours so going in supermarket was a must ,when I hike I bring food ,oh there the days ,ile fight hard for ever to get them days back.

Im getting that way with the liquid Prozac ,like im developing a mental block to it and the taste of it ,I hit the back of my throat with the liquid the other morning and had a horrible raspy throat for the day .

[powerback]

27 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

Ha,I know it wasn’t an order but some times another perspective is good in this.As when it’s so intense you can’t see the woods for the trees.

Thanks p.b trying to breathe through these panic attacks.The gift that keeps on giving 😏

 

 

Exactly breathe.

Oh I miss my woods and the pesky squirrel that used to come straight up to me while I would sit down lol.

I have more positive memories about getting back out ,this is good ,even a few weeks ago I had a positive dream about jogging in the woods ,this is rare ,usually always nightmares ,these have eased thankfully.

We keep at it pink .

[pinkfairy]

4 hours ago, powerback said:

love online supermarket also ,I need to eat every few hours so going in supermarket was a must ,when I hike I bring food ,oh there the days ,ile fight hard for ever to get them days back.

Im getting that way with the liquid Prozac ,like im developing a mental block to it and the taste of it ,I hit the back of my throat with the liquid the other morning and had a horrible raspy throat for the day .

I used too but half my brain as been fried (for now)So takes me awhile to understand what the hell I am doing.But yea beats going out any-where!

 

or I used to love going into the woods & hiking or the beach.Had take my son & pooch when I had weekends off & we would go walking for hours.Loved it just loved it.Its been devastating been disabled & not been able to walk far.

 

I used to go running after work as well miss it all!But I want our life’s back so so bad.Like you fight tooth & nail to get there.Even though every day I think I can’t do this 

but here we all are hero’s just helping each other to become whole & that 🦋...

 

I want freedom I want the monkey off my back.

 

4pm deep depression is setting in as for quite some time utter exhausted rest but never quit 

[pinkfairy]

Just now, pinkfairy said:

I used too but half my brain as been fried (for now)So takes me awhile to understand what the hell I am doing.But yea beats going out any-where!

 

or I used to love going into the woods & hiking or the beach.Had take my son & pooch when I had weekends off & we would go walking for hours.Loved it just loved it.Its been devastating been disabled & not been able to walk far.

 

I used to go running after work as well miss it all!But I want our life’s back so so bad.Like you fight tooth & nail to get there.Even though every day I think I can’t do this 

but here we all are hero’s just helping each other to become whole & that 🦋...

 

I want freedom I want the monkey off my back.

 

4pm deep depression is setting in as for quite some time utter exhausted rest but never quit 

That just reminded me,me & my son used to go feed the squirrels 🐿 in our local park fat little things lol...There used to be a pond with tadpoles & baby frogs 

every Sunday with out fail I would take him.For hours he would play there.Beautiful memories of those days.

[powerback]

25 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

That just reminded me,me & my son used to go feed the squirrels 🐿 in our local park fat little things lol...There used to be a pond with tadpoles & baby frogs 

every Sunday with out fail I would take him.For hours he would play there.Beautiful memories of those days.

These memories keep the fire burning in us pink ,roughish day myself .

 

 

[pinkfairy]

11 minutes ago, powerback said:

These memories keep the fire burning in us pink ,roughish day myself .

 

 

Holding on to them pb 

 

sorry to hear that 😕 just hold on.

 

i feel as though I am in a crash.Trying to juggle everything as back fired.

 

hate that feeling of been in the abyss.

 

Just been painting with my son while waiting to do tea.Am wiped out trying to keep it together!I could do with some home help there’s nothing in this area.I would love some one to say go lay down I will bring you food.Aint happning so on we go 

 

take it easy 💕

[powerback]

5 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

Holding on to them pb 

 

sorry to hear that 😕 just hold on.

 

i feel as though I am in a crash.Trying to juggle everything as back fired.

 

hate that feeling of been in the abyss.

 

Just been painting with my son while waiting to do tea.Am wiped out trying to keep it together!I could do with some home help there’s nothing in this area.I would love some one to say go lay down I will bring you food.Aint happning so on we go 

 

take it easy 💕

Read up on batch cooking ,spend an hour or 2  in kitchen and get couple meals done for a few days..

I love this at the moment. 

Liking freezer veg also ,would do my head in with broccoli going off lol.

Buying it being healthy conscious and it going off 😤.

Hope we get a break in the evening .

[pinkfairy]

1 hour ago, powerback said:

Read up on batch cooking ,spend an hour or 2  in kitchen and get couple meals done for a few days..

I love this at the moment. 

Liking freezer veg also ,would do my head in with broccoli going off lol.

Buying it being healthy conscious and it going off 😤.

Hope we get a break in the evening .

Yea am going to cook a few days worth up & freeze them. The amount of veg I have thrown away is unreal lol.

i buy the steam bag veg now.

 

Also highlight of my Sunday is...me & my son get a Sunday dinner delivered every Sunday.A local pub delivers them.They are lovely as well.No cooking or washing up for me .

 

we both need a break soon I pray for huge windows for us all going through this 🙏🏻.

[powerback]

14 hours ago, pinkfairy said:

Yea am going to cook a few days worth up & freeze them. The amount of veg I have thrown away is unreal lol.

i buy the steam bag veg now.

 

Also highlight of my Sunday is...me & my son get a Sunday dinner delivered every Sunday.A local pub delivers them.They are lovely as well.No cooking or washing up for me .

 

we both need a break soon I pray for huge windows for us all going through this 🙏🏻.

Cool ,i know a woman that brings her own plates to a pubs carvery and gets her dins lol ,im reminded of years ago ide try eat a sunday dinner in the same pub I would of drank in the day before ,no chance lol.

 

,yep we dam deserve the windows ,you can have my next one .

Have good day pink .lovely crisp morning here ,dying to get out ha.

[powerback]

How's the winter treating you pink ,hope your doing ok .

Take Care.

[pinkfairy]

On 2/1/2019 at 9:39 AM, powerback said:

How's the winter treating you pink ,hope your doing ok .

Take Care.

[pinkfairy]

Sorry 

i sent it before I had wrote anything 🙈 

hope your ok?

 

i was wanting some input from the moderators please.I need help desperately.

i am covered in a red rash what keeps flaring up it’s dotted all over my body.I have been to the doctors they said it was just a rash & would go away on its own.

 

But I noticed it keeps flaring to bright red & when it does I feel seriously poorly.

 

I am suffering inhumane from 3 pm till 8am the next morning.

 

i have not reduced I haven’t touched anything.

i am waking up at 2.30am some times 1.30am with adrenaline surges.Acid been poured through my veins.Sweet dripping off me & a pounding head.stomach cramps so bad I am doubled over.

i was making progress & now I am back to none functional I don’t get it.

 

i am lucky if I am getting 3 hours a night.The suffering as gone to a whole new level have not experienced this intensity before.

When I dose any drug it’s burning my skin more than it is.In a really bad place suffering wise.

 

i am leaning on my coping tools but this goes beyond any coping.

 

Really truly gratefully appreciate any help.xxxx

[pinkfairy]

Also very bad acid reflux.i am eating clean foods.

just fish veg & meat & fruit.I am frightened as my legs want to give way when I stand up.

aka is  intensified too.But to weak to pace so I am laid with my weighted blanket & trying to draw 

but the pain is s so bad.

 

God bless you all on this journey xxxx

[Shep]

3 hours ago, pinkfairy said:

i am covered in a red rash what keeps flaring up it’s dotted all over my body.I have been to the doctors they said it was just a rash & would go away on its own.

 

But I noticed it keeps flaring to bright red & when it does I feel seriously poorly.

 

 

I'm glad you went to the doctor and got checked out, Pink. Sounds like it's a withdrawal rash, which is very common. Please see:

 

Skin issues: hives, acne, dryness, itching etc.

 

3 hours ago, pinkfairy said:

i have not reduced I haven’t touched anything.

 

Holding sounds like a good plan for now. 

 

Hang in there, Pink. What you're describing sounds like a really bad wave. It will pass and you will feel better. 

 

[jonnypeters1234567]

Sounds to me you may have histamine intolerance. I would cut out histamine foods.

[pinkfairy]

18 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

I'm glad you went to the doctor and got checked out, Pink. Sounds like it's a withdrawal rash, which is very common. Please see:

 

Skin issues: hives, acne, dryness, itching etc.

 

 

Holding sounds like a good plan for now. 

 

Hang in there, Pink. What you're describing sounds like a really bad wave. It will pass and you will feel better. 

 

Thank you shep I will have a read up on that.I am looking into changing my diet but it’s adding more stress not knowing what to eat.

 

I hear people say of a 3 year wave.Its 3 years I am off Paxil.

 

No definitely not reducing.

 

Childrens audio books are a life line to calm too.

 

Thanks again I hope your healing & your forever window opens soon xxx

[pinkfairy]

19 minutes ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

Sounds to me you may have histamine intolerance. I would cut out histamine foods.

Thanks Jonnie for stopping by I hope your coping 🙏🏻

 

I eat a healthy diet,but everything I eat as been high histamine 😕 

I have never seen anything like it.

Feels like acute symptoms.

Its just more worry what to eat etc.

But the burning in my tummy& body is unreal.laid with my weighted blanket & drawing books.

Inner torment so bad.

 

Pray for everybody healing & there forever windows xxxx