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pinkfairy: rapid taper of Paxil

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bubble

When I feel very bad the worst thing is actually that fear.

 

Not brushing your teeth for one day is not the end of the world. Or two. Just do what you can and don't bother with the rest. This will pass.

 

We have a lot of people here describing very bad waves and then they come back the next day saying this got much better very soon after that. I hope this is your case too.

 

You had a lot of upsetting situations happening on top of it all, what with your ex , what with the urge to still have to do the growing bit amidst all that.

 

Writing what you wrote earlier couldn't have been easy. Did it make you feel worse?

 

Are you able to do breathing exercises, listen to any soothing talks or something? Legs up the wall? Eating? Any small things?

 

The fact that you can come here and be so articulate is very good and shows that you are still there under these disturbing symptoms.

 

Keep breathing and keep us posted?

 

How old is your son?

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pinkfairy

It's like complete terror ...

i just want to run any where...

yes it's made me feel worthless :( 

i cant do with noise light or touch..

i just want to tear my own skin off...

his 10 Hun...

all my joints are hurting An painful..

this time a month ago I was functional...

all these symptoms are so much worse than my CT...

i feel out of my mind..

am even struggling to breath I can't get enough air...

my nerve endings are on fire...

i had bad nerves at 17..so this is horrendous ?

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Skeeter

Pink,

I am back, I checked earlier, but you had not replied, yet, but I was waiting.  I am so happy to see you again.  I have missed our happy chats where were talked like real people.  Once you get past this wave, we will have our chats again, hmm? You remember our rules.  I want you to be able to have normal conversations again, and you were doing really well.

 

You must block your ex from paging AND calling you.  I do need to go back and read what I missed as I missed more than I realized, but you know how I feel about him, and how bad he is for you.  I want only the best for you and your son.  Having him around will only do bad things to your relationship with your son, as you left him because that precious boy knew he was bad for you both.  I KNOW it is hard for you, but every time you crack open that door a little he wedged hit foot in the door a little more (figuratively, of course).  He makes promises that he has promised before, but never come through on..  Remember, you do not need a man to complete you.  You are better off alone than having someone like that.  You son is a very good

 

I know you may not feel like watching them quite yet, but have you at least done the legs u the wall yoga that Shep gave you? 

 

I am sorry I am not offering more helpful info quite yet, but a lot happened while I was gone, and I do not want to ask questions you have already answered, or miss any new info.  I do hope that your son seeing a therapist/counselor is having a good effect, even if he is early in.

 

I am sorry you are feeling so poorly (see, I am picking up your sayings- hope that earned a tiny grin, kiddo).

 

Now the light, I ended u wearing dark sun glasses all of the time.  A very dark, cheap air that is not polarized will make sure you can still see the screen.  The huge, cheap sunglasses that they sell for people to wear over their prescription sunglasses look dorky, but at home, you do not really care, and it really blocks the light out, or a soft sleeping mask for at night. when sleeping, if you can tolerate it. (I could not at first). Also room darkening curtains (or if you have blinds you can cover them in your bedroom with black garbage bags, so you see only blinds from outside, or even darker is tin foil and painters tape, it is usually blue and will not pull the paint off when you remove it from the windows or paint, just overlap the edges of the tin foil layers- then if you really want to do it, tape a couple or few black garbage bags folded in half over the tin foil, sealing all edges with painters tape as it makes the very darkest room for the cheapest price.  Also helps a bunch with cortisol mornings if you suffer from that! With the touch sensitivity, try not taking showers, as that adds more stimulation to your nerves, take baths, and do NOT make the water too hot,  Add Epsom salts for their relaxation properties, it is VERY cheap, you really must try it! It is one of the easiest and cheapest things we suggest, and I think most people do not bother.  So many people report feeling very relaxed after an Epsom bath- please try it when you can buy some, okay?  Now some people report not being able to sleep with any covers on while super sensitive, or they can handle a heavier quilt in some rare cases, try different things.   Now for noise, buy some SILICONE ear plugs-  not rubber or foam! They are available at Wal-Mart or Amazon.com and look like white blobs in a clear case but you can make it just the right size, and they are reusable- they were the best for me.  For the skin sensitivity to touch,  I learned to lay on my back with my head and back propped up with a bunch of pillows with a folded quilt and a blanket as a base to prop me up, then pillows on top, and a quilt or pillow folded under my knees (so the soles of my feet are on the bed), and my arms folded on my abdomen and only my elbows touching the bed are how I survived sleeping,  I hope some of this helps even a little. The sunglasses, and drawing the curtains are a must.

 

Air hunger is not unusual in withdrawal, but that does not make I any easier to deal with.  Try to lay down and relax to one of the videos, if that does not work, try sitting up, and place your hands on your knees, leaning slightly forward, as that is the easiest way to breathe for someone who is in true respiratory distress, which you are not, but just see if changing positions helps, just do not breathe so deeply  or quickly if you start to get dizzy,  sit on the floor, as the rule is "sit down before you fall down!"

 

Let me know if any of this helps.

Time for bed for me.

Feel better!

Skeets

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Skeeter

Pink,

What is going on?  I hope, by your lack of response that it does not mean that you are letting your ex into your life still.  Your son comes first, as you have stated, not this guy who promised a lot of things, and did none of them.  You deserve better.  I will not yell at you for talking to him, I am happy to talk about how to stay away from him, if you just want to chat, like before.  You have been awesome before at cutting him off.  I understand you are feeling weaker now, but he I the last person yo want to care for you, and your son would feel so betrayed,  You are precious, and deserve only the best people in your life!  You have such a good heart!

 

Be well!

Skeeter

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bubble
On 2017-7-22 at 0:12 PM, pinkfairy said:

Hi bubble....

thank you for your honest reply!

hsve text him An told him no more contact again.

all blocked this as took some doing as I still love the guy.

i didn't get my needs met as a child,so I used anything I could as a crutch to survive the horrors of past.i stopped the drugs on my own.but still relied on alchol.i stopped the alchol An relied on my ex...no ex no crutch so am wondering how am meant to survive life with out any thing...

i planted a seed as a child that I needed something or some one An this seed is now a belief...

i just feel a drift An pretty hopeless to be honest!!

all have known as gone..who am I,I don't even know any more...before anti/depressants I would t leave my house.now am just back at the start been that young girl who as never grown up..wish had never been given the attachement diagonis or emotional unstablity an ptsd diagonis!!they have made me 10000 worse..

am nearly 40 years old..

have got my son who's my world..

my life's blank now empty..no hobbies no interests zilch..

my son is all am alive for that's it,seriously not drugs talking either..am empty ,no base line...

thank god for my son that's all I can say...

thank you for been honest.

an I appreciate all skeeter An shep does for me.

but I just see no point coming off this stuff as am exhausted to the point of I just really have no hope!!

will be realistic here...have been CT off Paxil zopiclone an tapering diazpam while trying to parent with brutal insomnia..have done more drugs I care to remember,I can barely function..

i still have a home to run,with no support.when I try An learn new things,am constantly in a wave,so everything goes out the window..

i cant just lay an relax as shopping,cooking,cleaning as to be done...I can't just go on a journey with having to be a parent in a real world..I have to fight this **** with S/U 24/7....please don't for one minute think am self pitying myself because am not,have pulled up my big girl panties an am been realistic about this whole situation...

going through all this alone is tramatizing!!i have yet to see one person in any group with a small child "totally alone" been CT off different drugs An tapering...the drugs are making sick so very sick...

am tired of "surviving" when I should be "living" my only child's young years out..yet am a criple what can barely walk...

am angry so very god dam angry ?...not at you just at the people who have trusted An let me down...

seeiously how do you accept this madness...yes if I was alone or had a partner to help or family am sure had get through it a lot smoother..but I haven't An it's all bull **** the entire process...

sorry this isn't in no way aimed at any body I care An think a lot of you guys...

but am just looking at my situation  in reality it just doesn't lo

 

Pink wrote a few days ago that she blocked him and I gave her some hard time over it so maybe we can give her a break now.

 

In any case it is her life and I think we did what we could. Pink will do what is best for her.

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pinkfairy

Hi am writing this the most sickening have ever been....

have blocked him...

i can barley function..finding getting up is setting my heart rate An panic sky high.

my skin is thinning,getting prudeing veins in hands,fingers An now the palm of hands.all white blotches on the palm of my hands An fingers.balance awol..was hearing music this morning!after dosing am getting terrible body pains,like all my nerves are getting electrocuted..red hot hands An feet...fingers are swollen.confustion not knowing what's what..struggling a lot to breath...body pulsating with pain from head to toe...no strength at all.cant look at lights,I feel as though I have no skin on my body...

no sleep,panic attacks An just a complete mess...body on complete fire.an just so very very over whelmed I feel worse now than when I CT off everything..

cannot believe even getting up causes sheer panic..

i feel seriously sick it's taken me along time to right this.

deep depression so bad.

dont no what's going to happen from here,as I can't look after myself any more..my little boy just looks lost.am losing the ability to even talk,nothing is connecting I have to try An think how to walk.

this is frightening..

have got to 4.5 An all hell as broke loose..

bad shape,health An mental health going down rapid.

pink 

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bhasski

Pink, 

This is severe paxil withdrawal.

I have been through and know how terrible it is. I am 18 mos off paxil other than cocktail.

Do you have somebody with you for your care? 

U can try supplements like magnesium  and omega3. For me magnesium bath salt acted better instead of oral. So please try epsom salt baths if you havent yet.

 

One thing is sure that it will get better. I feel all the symptoms little better.

 

 

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pinkfairy

Hello...

so sorry your going through it...

this as just hit at 16th month like a bolt of lightning.i was functional at 5 mg of diazpam,have got to 4.5 An oh man oh man!!

am in a different world..I did not think things could get any worse!!

was I wrong....

no were alone,I don't have any body else around.friends got tired of it after a few months!! 

I have some Epsom salt,but I ain't the energy to move...

have got Paxil,zopiclone,an diazpam WD going on...

am so glad you seem a little better I really appreciate you commenting...

pink 

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Skeeter

Pink,

Every time, IMO, that you let yourself get so upset about your ex or anything else, you nervous system will react just like it is right now.  I learned not to let things upset me, because the pain and the thoughts, ad the lack of sleep just is not worth it.  Even no when I get really upset, I have "echos" (repeated symptoms) of what I had hen I was going through tough withdrawal.

 

When you at up to sending positive messages like we used to do (remember, "fake it until you make it!!"), I am ready for that!  I will begin.

 

So, first step is eat good food (lots of fresh fruits and veggies- your smoothies are great!  Drink lots of water, and if you are not able to calm yourself down on your own right now, call your local contacts and see if they can see you to work on your coping skills, hen you are in the middle of a flare up like right now, as all of the work we did does not seem to help. you be able to self soothe yet. NEXT: PLEASE HOLD!  No tapering.  You were celebrating going down by half (approx.) on your Valium.  Unless you are working on a taper program with someone else, please utilize us on this thread, and let us know before you taper next, because you now have the tools to taper the Mirtz, and tapering the Mirtz is the logical way to go.  Doing it backwards, benzo before AD is backwards from what we suggest, and only a very few, strong people have handled doing it backwards, from all I read.  I am hoping you will feel better doing it the other way.

 

You have got to fight to feel better.  Please go run yourself a bath that is NOT HOT.  Your CNS is pushed right now, really hard, so you, if you have to crawl to the bathroom, and sit on the floor while the tub fills, then let the water out, and gain your strength with a towel over you until you get the strength to climb out, and sit on the floor again, then crawl to bed if you have to.  it should let you relax for a while, sleep even, the Epsom salts are a must to try!

 

Now remember, it does not matter why you feel like you do now, what matters is that you do not come off of a drug too quickly ever again, keep your stress down, and actualy do the legs up the wall yoga, and let us know what you have been able to do, and if you liked it or not.  Use the list you were supposed to make to do things that are calming. Did you read my message about sunglasses, and totally darkening your bedroom?  Wear sunglasses even inside the grocery store, etc!

 

Be well!

Skeeter

 

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pinkfairy

Thanks skeeter...

have got to 4.5 An have completely crashed,panic attacks all day long,am dosing an am burning after have dosed...I can't leave our home any more,I can't walk the dogs,have seriously stopped working..I can't eat as I feel like am choking..

fingers have swollen,An nerve pain have never known anything like it..

i cant get in the bath..am just crying because I was functional An now have just completely become non functional ?

Am ok till I dose..

i can fall asleep with out my dose,I set my alarm wake up to take it,get back over then when the diazpam kicks in am wide awake covered in sweat...

i read your ideas have done it in the bedroom to be dark...

i do not know what's going on but my CNS as just busted ?

Hope your ok 

pink 

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powerback

Hi PF my heart bleeds for you ,sending you healing vibes .

I see you off alcohol ,I'm also sober 2.5 years ,I draw on this when I'm at my worst .the depths of disappear binge drinking brought me and the meds made me drink even more .

took another step on my micro taper [can feel just 2 beads out ,I've a long road ]

Its not fair we have to suffer but we will get through it .

take great care

PB

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pinkfairy

Thank you PB am writing this through auditory hallucinations dear lord...

yea have been sober 17th month now,really struggling with not drinking as well...

massive well done to you,great achievement ❤️

Am so sorry we're all going through this hard long journey...

take it one minute at a time if needs be...

look after your self 

pink 

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powerback
47 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

Thank you PB am writing this through auditory hallucinations dear lord...

yea have been sober 17th month now,really struggling with not drinking as well...

massive well done to you,great achievement ❤️

Am so sorry we're all going through this hard long journey...

take it one minute at a time if needs be...

look after your self 

pink 

ye its like that for me today minute by minute  .fairly tough day .but I'm learning everyday and informing myself as best I can .

sorry to hear you struggling with not drinking today ,I get like that on only a few occasions when I'm around it ,but I like to think of it like I did my time with drinking ,wasting money and time with hangovers .but dam this withdrawl is a whole different level of suffering ;).

 

keep chipping away at anything and everything to find relief .

take great care

PB

 

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Skeeter

Hello Powerback!

Thanks for stopping by to give Pink some input.  You have a unique experience to share with her...

On ‎7‎/‎27‎/‎2017 at 3:22 PM, powerback said:

Hi PF my heart bleeds for you ,sending you healing vibes .

I see you off alcohol ,I'm also sober 2.5 years ,I draw on this when I'm at my worst .the depths of disappear binge drinking brought me and the meds made me drink even more .

took another step on my micro taper [can feel just 2 beads out ,I've a long road ]

Its not fair we have to suffer but we will get through it .

take great care

PB

 

To the both of you for stopping drinking, I have the upmost respect for BOTH of you.  To stop that, then to have to stop Antiepressants is very hard from what I heard.  Hery, one bead is still one bead closer!!

Take care of yourself!  Sorry I have not met you yet, but I have some personal pressures that do not allow me to be here as much as usual, so nice to meet you!

Skeeter.

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Skeeter

Pink,

Hey kid!!  If your hands are still swollen, and your veins are still very distended, I am having worries that something else is going on.  You have had auditory hallucinations before, right?  I seem to remember you mentioning them before, but only revently the vein distention, hand edema, and the white dots on your hands.

 

Is there a drugstore/pharmacy (sorry, but I have forgotten what you call them there), that has a station you can sit at and have your blood pressure and pulse taken by a machine?  You just slip your arm into a cuff and press a button.  If you are able to have it taken, please write down the results and report them here.  If you are feeling very unwell, can you go in for a general checkup, and show them the hand edema (swelling) and the veins * white dots, etc, and just explain that this is not normal for you, and see if they have anything to say.  It is up to you what you wish to share regarding your WD.  I do not know if your prescribing doc knows or not  If they do not know, you may not wish to share that.  I am NOT talking about an ER visit, just an urgent care, or regular appointment, and only mention the symptoms that are unusual for you. 

 

Has anything started to let up symptom wise?  I feel awful that you feel so bad  Now remember, you CANNOT go dow by 1/8th of a pill every single time, as that will exceed the 10% of your last dose being the smallest drop you can make very quickly exceed that amount.  I am not talking about tapering now, as I hpe you will HOLD, HOLD, HOLD, as I think the reason you got hit so hard this time might have been because your body cannot handle anything but the tinist drop.  So please, let us have a big discussion before you decide to change any dose to make sure you are in the safe zone percentage wise

 

How is your son?  Is he playing any new sports?                                                                                                        

 

Did you like any of my suggestions for your eyes, for your skin sensitivity, or anything else?  Those sunglasses that are sold for a few bucks by eye doctors to go OVER a person's regular eyeglasses after getting their eyes dilated by the doc for testing are perfect for the sunlight, or at home when everything is too bright.

 

Have you been able to do anything yet to calm yourself any yet?  I know you can do the legs up the wall yoga, all yo have to do is lay on the floor and relax, via the instructions that Shep sent you.

 

Maybe someone else cam mention things that comfort them, and you can try anything that sounds interesting, maybe?  I know you have tried coloring, watching short meditation videos on You Tube, walks in nature, walking your dog, etc, but maybe input would help.  Here is a dumb one I like to do (you can laugh, I do not mind).  I have no artistic talent outside of dance,  If you give me paints, and something to paint on, I cannot do ANYTHING.  Take m o a crafts store, buy me a paints by number kit, buy a cheap set of brushes, and a cheap tabletop easel (so now  still have the brushes and easel, now all I need is a new PBN kit, & I am set!  Can do without the easel if you put a tallish box on the table. and a coloring book in front to holt the cardboard at the right angle for you, and off you go! Also a paper plate (or regular plate covered with tin foil so you do not dry out your paints, an a cup with a little water, you are set!

 

Anyone else have anything that calms you when in the depths of withdrawal?

 

Let me know what is going on!  IS he still trying to meet wih you by visiting your house, or trying to meet up by leaving noted in your mailbox?  Do you feel safe at home?

 

I remember you asking a while back, and I do not remember if anyone replied... You asked if it was normal to be afraid to be at home alone.  The answer is YES, OMG YES!  I was afraid to leave the house, but afraid to be alone.  I just had to stay as busy as I could.

 

Keep fighting, you can do this!!

Skeeter

P.S. Pinky, are you noting your daily symptoms patterns on your notebook you bought just for following your symptoms every day?  Please respond.  Thanks!!!

Edited by Skeeter
P.S. added

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pinkfairy

Thank PB...

your heading in the right direction even with one bead...keep it up my friend pink 

 

hi skeeter thank you for stopping by again...no where is open today..my blood pressure is always 90/60 it's still happening with my hands.i showed the doctors my hands am getting referred to a nerve specialist (sorry I can't even remember the correct name for them...

am still stuck on fight or flight,my legs just will not work no more...

0 sleep in two days now..all day long panic attacks An the terror is of the wall I could climb out of my own skin..

have been laid on the floor with my legs up the wall for an hour..

i cannot believe all hell as broke lose.This diazpam as turned on me,am actually having panic attacks on it!have sat with my glasses on,was a lot better...

i don't know if my doses are even skeeter as I use a pill cutter..

theres no way I can drop 0.25 any more...my doses are all messed up 2mg morning 1mg afternoon An 1.5mg night..wouldn't be easier to take 2mg morning 2.5mg afternoon?one of those medications is keeping me awake at night mirt or diazpam...

i can sleep with out them...

even my mirt doses are guessed as I just cut down the middle to get 7.5mg...have heard this is a bad one to get off?my nervous system as just gone gaga...good idea about painting I love it but I can't paint for nothing!!

am struggling to eat as the panic is so bad...

ah my little boy is out playing his had to stay out at my friends because am struggling to function to even care for me..my heart does break as he doesn't have a clue what's going on..I can't even talk am mute with trauma!

oh yea we're safe at home he doesn't live in our town,his not violent never ever had swing him before he ever did that!!

no he knows not to turn up he honestly wouldn't dare do that..yes am frightened been alone but don't want to see any body I feel trapped completely!!

yea the hallucinating have had before,but this is every night now...

like I said I got to 4.5 An all hell as exploded!!have had a bath as well today..my CNS is badly de-stabilised...I also have no moisture in my body or saliva :( 

cannot believe have gone from going out to house bound with agrophobia dear lord..

i hope your ok An missed you lots pal...

my whole neighrhood is triggers there all BQ An drinking an am laid bed bound..I can't cope with not been apart of life I just want me back ? I have no patience An I think I will end up going insane from been a prisoner in my own home trapped in my head..

have got years of this I swear it's getting more unbearable by the day 

pink xxxx

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powerback

 

On ‎7‎/‎29‎/‎2017 at 7:43 AM, Skeeter said:

Hello Powerback!

Thanks for stopping by to give Pink some input.  You have a unique experience to share with her...

 

To the both of you for stopping drinking, I have the upmost respect for BOTH of you.  To stop that, then to have to stop Antiepressants is very hard from what I heard.  Hery, one bead is still one bead closer!!

Take care of yourself!  Sorry I have not met you yet, but I have some personal pressures that do not allow me to be here as much as usual, so nice to meet you!

Skeeter.

Hi Skeeter ,I'm glad I can give some support we all need and deserve so much more,one bead at a time is some progress,it will be an amazing day when I can be off both, Ile go on a nice hiking holiday and give me something to aim for.

Nice to meet you and I hope your personal issues don't bring you much stress .

Take care 

PB

Edited by Skeeter
Removed duplicate quote

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powerback
16 hours ago, pinkfairy said:

Thank PB...

your heading in the right direction even with one bead...keep it up my friend pink 

 

hi skeeter thank you for stopping by again...no where is open today..my blood pressure is always 90/60 it's still happening with my hands.i showed the doctors my hands am getting referred to a nerve specialist (sorry I can't even remember the correct name for them...

am still stuck on fight or flight,my legs just will not work no more...

0 sleep in two days now..all day long panic attacks An the terror is of the wall I could climb out of my own skin..

have been laid on the floor with my legs up the wall for an hour..

i cannot believe all hell as broke lose.This diazpam as turned on me,am actually having panic attacks on it!have sat with my glasses on,was a lot better...

i don't know if my doses are even skeeter as I use a pill cutter..

theres no way I can drop 0.25 any more...my doses are all messed up 2mg morning 1mg afternoon An 1.5mg night..wouldn't be easier to take 2mg morning 2.5mg afternoon?one of those medications is keeping me awake at night mirt or diazpam...

i can sleep with out them...

even my mirt doses are guessed as I just cut down the middle to get 7.5mg...have heard this is a bad one to get off?my nervous system as just gone gaga...good idea about painting I love it but I can't paint for nothing!!

am struggling to eat as the panic is so bad...

ah my little boy is out playing his had to stay out at my friends because am struggling to function to even care for me..my heart does break as he doesn't have a clue what's going on..I can't even talk am mute with trauma!

oh yea we're safe at home he doesn't live in our town,his not violent never ever had swing him before he ever did that!!

no he knows not to turn up he honestly wouldn't dare do that..yes am frightened been alone but don't want to see any body I feel trapped completely!!

yea the hallucinating have had before,but this is every night now...

like I said I got to 4.5 An all hell as exploded!!have had a bath as well today..my CNS is badly de-stabilised...I also have no moisture in my body or saliva :( 

cannot believe have gone from going out to house bound with agrophobia dear lord..

i hope your ok An missed you lots pal...

my whole neighrhood is triggers there all BQ An drinking an am laid bed bound..I can't cope with not been apart of life I just want me back ? I have no patience An I think I will end up going insane from been a prisoner in my own home trapped in my head..

have got years of this I swear it's getting more unbearable by the day 

pink xxxx

Hi pink I just wish i had a magic wand to take this away from you ,it's so unfair , hopefully the mods can work something out ,white knuckleing like this is so unfair .

Be safe 

PB

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pinkfairy

Thank you PB...

am just so lost I don't know what the hell am doing or what's causing what any more...

i do know am getting sicker An sicker it's so unfair as I can't even function to be a parent in this nightmare...

am so tired of just barely surviving I really am...

thank you for stopping by 

pink 

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virgo43

Dear beloved pinkfairy.

How are u doing today? 

I am so sorry to see u go through all this. Hope the moderators can help. Is there a hospital u can go to? 

Thinking of u daily. ..

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Skeeter

Pink,

I am numbering the questions I would like a reply to, so you can reply by number (and add your own comments, too).  I know I is hard to think when feeling so crummy, so this is an easier way for you to remember to reply to my questions, okay?

 

PLEASE DO NOT TAPER ANY MORE>  HOLD!!!   Please let us know when you are considering changing doses before you do it, okay?  I only say this because you spoke about tapering in your last message.  I know you have no plans right now, but I want to make sure we are all on the same page so we know what is going on.

 

1.  Are you tracking your daily symptoms in your journal along with times? Please reply.  If not, why not?  I only ask because it can give you important clues, esp when changing doses or you have changes in symptoms, and you can tell when you are feeling better, even by a little bit.

 

I know how you feel is so difficult right now, but your CNS seems so unstable, as you can obviously tell, so changing anything, other than changing the times of the doses is all I hope you will do,  until you give me your current schedule and exact dosage (one dose by one hour a day is okay, but state where you started and where you are on that one dose). 

 

2. When were your last 3 tapers on diazepam.

 

3. What are your dosing times for BOTH meds as it stands.  I know you gave me your dosing times for your Valium, but can you write it all together, such as I did as an example below, and include exact doses and the times you take them.  Please write it like I have done below as an example to follow:

7am mirt ____mg1

1pm diazepam ___mg, mirt ___mg

7pm mirt ___mg

1am diazepam ___mg

 

4. Below your current schedule (like above), please give the exact schedule you WANT to change your med times and exact doses to, so we know how to best help you figure out the change so it can be as easy on your CNS as possible. Remember, you have the final say on how this happens, but I wish to give you an option or two to chose from, as well as having you add input as well. **I agree that you should not have to wake up to take your dose.  PLEASE get your  med schedules (current, and how you want it to be) as quickly as possible, so you can get started.  I am curious to know if we are moving both meds or just the one, as I do knot know anything about your mirt schedule currently.

 

Let us know what the neurologist says. Hopefully the doc will say everything is fine!  SO glad you are going to the clinic!

 

I know you are having dysphagia again, but you need to make sure you are drinking enough water, even if you have to drink out of a straw and sip every few minutes. Try sitting upright when drinking, as I do not wish you to choke.   You should make your smoothies to be able to get something in you.  You really should be eating/drinking healthy foods, as you body needs vitamins and minerals to heal. Via smoothie is just as good s eating if the smoothie is easier, and take your time, no rushing when consuming!

 

If you can afford to buy a "paint by number" kit, yo do not have to know how to paint AT ALL.  Each little tin of paint has a number on it, and on the picture, there will be all different shapes, and you find the number on the picture, and paint all of the shaes with the corresponding number.  I actually got a beautiful picture that turned out well enough to be framed myself, had I chosen to.  So they have really simple ones, medium ones, and hard ones.  I bet you would love it.  Check them out online.  If you like to color, you will LOVE paint by number, and there is hardly any mess.  I could put it all away including washing the brushes in about 3 minutes.

 

Good job darkening your room, wearing the sunglasses, and doing the legs up the wall yoga.  You have always been very good at trying what we suggest.  Do not forget listening to meditation exercises on you tube, or any of the other things you enjoy. You can find ones where you just listen, and do not have to watch, as I am sure you know.

 

I hope today is a better day for you!

Skeeter

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virgo43

How are u doing pinkfairy?

Please update us...

 

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Skeeter

Pink,

Miss you , kiddo, where are you?

Skeets

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pinkfairy

Am here....

have got a list of my symptoms over a 7 days....

 

1. 2am coristol rushes,disorientated.racing thoughts..

7am breakfast 

8.30 diazpam 2mg

9.30..feel sick,panic DR/DP,fight or flight,looping thoughts,can't touch anything..

11am crying,deep depression...

12.30 lifts slightly come up for air...

1pm dinner...

head ache,body aches head to toe.feelings of not been in control..

2pm...very Bad DP/DR 

4pm start to hallucinate,feelings of unreality..inner shaking 

4.25 1mg of diazpam 

5.30 terror An dread An panic...

5.30 tea...

find it hard to swallow feeling as though am going to choke..

skin burning..

7pm feel out of it with DR/DP

8pm stiffness all over body..

9pm bed

9.30 things don't seem real like a bad acid trip...

10.30pm 7.5 mirt 1.5 diazpam

wake at 12am not knowing where I am...

2am sweating confustion...

feels like my brain is on fire all day long..

still getting 2-4 hours sleep going on over a year!

feels like I want to crawl out of my skin...

this is every day all the symptoms 

so I don't need to write 7 days out...

have noticed all symptoms ramp up after 3pm..

thank you for asking after me!

am in a spiral An cannot get out of it for love nor money..

i hope your all ok?❤️

The depression is black :(

am lost really lost...

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pinkfairy

Sorry I will go over an answer your questions skeeter 

really bad cog fog...xxx

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pinkfairy

2...last taper 4th of April 

0.25 15th of may 

question 3..

2mg diazpam 8.30 am 

1 mg diazpam 4.25

1.5 mg an mirt 7.5 10.30 pm..

 

i honestly believe hand on heart it's these two drugs what are making me sick..

i no I have other WD going on but I can be ok some mornings then when I dose all hell breaks loose!!

i got a paint by numbers but left it when we were staying out!!

 

things are getting bad,real bad..

am struggling to look after my son.His struggling too...

his losing weight because his suffering An biting his finger nails 😓!!

am just not coping at all!

am stuck spinning my wheels in a cyclone...

i need things to change or am going to end up losing my son in all this...

am completely broken An tramatized by it all!!

nothing is letting up,if anything am going down hill 

xxxx

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powerback

Deep breathes pink ,you'll  get there ,we all will, we have to there's no other option .

flood the body with nutrients ,I have a big bowl of greens to eat later ,I want pizza but I've got to fuel my body ,the energy we use up in withdrawal is huge .

PB

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pinkfairy

Hi PB hope your doing well?

i really feel like have been pushed off a cliff like am free falling!!

am stuck in the abyss some where...

The suffering is enormous..

my fight seems to off gone.

i just keep crying An going over all have lost...

we had an amazing life,I was doing so well on the drugs.

why I let them CT me I have no idea.

was things going to well?i wasn't used to feeling that happy.i did I self destruct :( 

i have no idea..

my mind is locked on all the happy memories!

Am devastated at the loss of our life's..

7 good years out of 38...all gone!

i have no idea how to get out of this hole..

i think my heads to far gone!

ptsd is very high :(

thank you for commenting ❤️

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pinkfairy

My thoughts are all locked I don't know what's real or WD...

my brain feels like it's on fire...

theres something in me what keeps self destructing it won't stop..is it me or the drugs?

i feel out of touch with reality!

nothing seems real any more...

its like am spell bound or something it's scary 

pink 

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pinkfairy

Piza oh my...

have just had a green smoothie!!

the auditory hallucinations have started :( am tortured 😖 

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powerback

My heart bleeds because I'm stuck like yourself .I'm having awful ptsd myself .

go to the recovery stories and read them for a while ,our brains for some silly reason are hard wired to focus on the negative ,we got to retrain our brain ,to get my mind off my problem yesterday I went into the play store on laptop and got free jicksaw games .

if we ran our legs like our minds never having a break we would be exhausted ,give your brain a break ,actively write this down and make a plan to distract your thoughts .

the last while I cant get a break from triggers ,I'm worn out by it but I try to bring my focus back from thoughts ,so you can imagine ,I'm all day doing it .

take care

PB 

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powerback
8 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

Piza oh my...

have just had a green smoothie!!

the auditory hallucinations have started :( am tortured 😖 

I was reading about magnesium threonate today ,its meant to be good for anxiety and depression ,do a little research yourself and try a small bit to start,the mods say to be careful at the start .I'm going to change my citrate to threonate after what I read today .

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pinkfairy

Oh really?

can we take this in benzo WD?

thank you I will look into that...

i forgot to say have been drinking turamic a tiny bit on a morning An evening An my head pressure as eased..

stopped drinking it afew days ago it's back with a vengeance 

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Shep
3 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

i forgot to say have been drinking turamic a tiny bit on a morning An evening An my head pressure as eased..

stopped drinking it afew days ago it's back with a vengeance 

 

Hi, Pink.

 

If you find a supplement that helps, you really should take it consistently. I'm really glad you found something that is helping with head pressure.

 

Why did you stop taking it? Did it also help with sleep? You mentioned hallucinations. I had those a lot during withdrawal, but most of mine were due to sleep deprivation, so anything you can do to help with sleep may very well help with the hallucinations.

 

 

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powerback
29 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

My thoughts are all locked I don't know what's real or WD...

my brain feels like it's on fire...

theres something in me what keeps self destructing it won't stop..is it me or the drugs?

i feel out of touch with reality!

nothing seems real any more...

its like am spell bound or something it's scary 

pink 

the spell bounding came from the prescriptions ,don't believe your thoughts ,believe your in there behind the cloud of withdrawl .

 

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pinkfairy

Hello shep...

i just forgot to keep taking it..

back drinking it now though..

no it doesn't help with sleep unfortunately..

 

so sorry you had these as well..

its defiantly from lack of sleep.

 

also I forgot to mention I found an eft,reiki An trauma specialist all rolled into one!!

i go there every 2 weeks,I come out the DP/DR goes An I yawn...yes yawn :) 

That is new for me!

 

i haven't been for a month as it's the holidays.Its pretty amazing work she does!am with her 2 An half hours..

 

first thing she said was your highly tramatized,but you have such a strong core..that was before she did any work!Shes been giving me tips to ground myself like imagine tree roots wrapped around your ankles holding you in place.

Sorry am rambling...

I hope your window as stayed wide open shep :) 

 

 

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