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artSet3561: Hi...you're my last resort


artSet3561

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Took myself off setraline as I don't need it any longer. I was using it to cope with a particularly mentally abusive relationship and it gave me the strength to leave so for that I am thankful. I tried to come off it twice and crashed and burned. My doctor told me I was tapering too quickly so this last time I took it slow(ish). I got to the point where taking the meds made me feel worse so I quit. I am now 8 weeks in and my relationship hangs in the balance. My mood swings are dreadful. My fiancé thinks it's my symptoms but I know it's not it's the withdrawal. I wake some days with a big black hole in my centre and cry uncontrollably during the day, with dreadful feelings of not being able to cope. Then the next day I am fine. I know it's my withdrawal and I know I just need to ride this, but I have days where I am struggling and just needed somewhere to vent.

 

I am due to get married in January but everything hangs in the balance ATM. My fiancé is American and he is talking of going home....he says he cannot stand to walk on eggshells all the time and I am destroying him and he won't allow me to do that to him. I see his hurt, and I know I am extremely difficult to be with right now, he'll I don't even like myself some days, I just need an outlet so I can give him some space from my dreadful moods

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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  • Moderator Emeritus

artSet3561 -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)
 
Thank you for posting and introduction and for completing a signature. 
 
Some questions about your signature:

  • What do you mean by tapered "one less" and "two less"?
     
  • What date did you take your last dose of sertraline? An approximation, such as "early July" is fine if you can't remember the actual date.
     
  • You've listed your symptoms. Do you notice a pattern to them? 

Please keep notes on paper of your symptoms. This link goes to a post on this site that details a useful format for keeping a daily log of symptoms: Take notes of doses and symptoms

 

Here is some information about withdrawal symptoms:
What is withdrawal syndrome
Glenmullen’s withdrawal symptom list

To minimize the risk of withdrawal symptoms, we suggest that people taper off antidepressants and other psychiatric medications very conservatively: no more than 10% reduction once per month. You can read more about that and about sertraline in the discussions at these links:
Why taper by 10% of my dosage?
Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline)

Some people -- though not all -- experience relief from their symptoms by reinstating a very small dose of the medication they have discontinued. If you are interested in this and when we know more about your situation, we can provide you with more information. After you're clearer about the benefits and risks, we can suggest a dose for you to consider. The most predictable "window" for reinstatement is from 1 day - 3 months after the last dose, so it could help you.

 

I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but am glad that you found us.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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Hi scallywag, thank you for your reply.

 

One less 50mg tablet a week for four weeks, then two less tablets I.e. Omit Monday and Thursdays dose. That is what my doctor recommended, I got so forgetful where I was up to on the tapering and started to feel worse after my tablets that I just gave up.

 

My last dose was probably end of September, I think.....

 

I haven't kept a diary of symptoms so I don't notice a pattern, just some days are good, some days are bad, I am worse when hormonal, I know that much!

 

Having read through the posts here I did question whether going back to a small dose might help alleviate some of the feelings, but I am scared to go backwards.

 

I will alter my signature

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Just so I understand, to taper, instead of taking a 50 mg dose every day you

 

+------+---------+

| Week | # doses |

+------+---------+

|  1   |    6    |

+------+---------+

|  2   |    6    |

+------+---------+

|  3   |    5    |

+------+---------+

|  4   |    5    |

+------+---------+

|  5   |    4    |

+------+---------+

|  6   |    4    |

+------+---------+

 

 

... etc. until you starting feeling sick after taking each dose

 

Reinstatement is a step forward not backward withdrawal withdrawal symptoms. It's hard to believe but it is the experience of many people, not all but many, that reinstating what might be considered a "micro-dose" can ease their withdrawal symptoms. Some get relief quickly, for others it is more gradual over multiple weeks. Some get complete relief, some get symptoms weakened enough to deal far more effectively with their daily life commitments and activities.

 

Please read the topic on reinstatement especially the first post and come back here to post any questions you have.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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Correct on the dose analysis, although perhaps a little slower, a change every 4 weeks, until taking them made me feel worse than not taking them....then felt great for about 4 weeks then slowly slid backwards....

 

Will read reinstatement x

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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On a positive note....I cut my tablet into about 12 pieces, so I am taking approximately 4mg doses and my mood swings have subsided dramatically. I feel almost normal again, at least I can concentrate at work and hold information in my brain!

 

I felt like a failure having to go , what I perceived, as backwards, but reading the articles you guided me to made me realise that this is not a game of wills...me vs tabs, I was not going to 'win' by muscling through, so I allowed myself to take a sanity break. I will stay here for a few weeks until I feel able to drop slowly again. I refuse to feel shame. And my fiancé is eternally grateful for you, and for me dropping my pride and reaching out to you guys. I am thankful for your guidance.

 

A stubborn wench x

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I haven't followed your thread art, but what a positive post you wrote there!  Such a good reminder for all of us - thank you,

Karen

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Too bad the site software doesn't have a "Like" button. You're welcome.

 

You may find it helpful to read/bookmark/follow these two topics:

The Windows and Waves pattern of stabilization

How long to stabilize after reinstating or updosing

 

Keep us posted on how things go for you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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  • 1 month later...

I am really struggling ATM. I updosed because I was having terrible withdrawal symptoms. The updose however wasn't helping as after a few weeks I was having symptoms again so I took a big updose from 4mg every day to 25mg every other day and for the first week got relief again. However now I am feeling terrible the day after I take my tablet. Dreadfully low mood, irritable and tearful, the next day, the day without the dose, I start to feel really good again.

 

I don't know whether is should be lowering the dose or increasing the dose at this point. Today I feel particularly bad with nervous anxiety....I get married in 3 weeks and can ill afford these terrible old swings. I guess I need some help and advice.

 

Am I taking too much or too little? Half of me wants to say 'sod it' and go back to my full dose for a while and start again in a years time

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Art,

 

SA's recommendation is to take the same dose at approximately the same time on a daily basis.

 

Please clarify:

 

In November were you taking 4mg every day?

 

1.  In December did you alternate 4mg and 25mg (4mg one day, 25mg the next then 4mg etc)?

 

OR

 

2.  Did you change your dose to 25mg on start alternating days (ie 0 one day, 25mg the next then 0 the next etc)?

 

Neither 1. or 2. are recommended by SA.

 

Once you have clarified what dose/s your are currently taking and when you are taking it/them, we can offer a suggestion of what you might be able to try.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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Hi Chessie, you are correct

 

In November I was taking 4mg every day...

 

In December I updosed to 25mg every other day (0 mg one day 25mg next)

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Skipping doses is really asking for trouble.  Please see:  Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

 

And from:  Why taper by 10% of my dosage?   (NEVER ALTERNATE DOSAGES TO TAPER. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE, THIS IS SURE TO SET OFF WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS.)

 

Tips for tapering off Zoloft (sertraline)

 

How long have you been taking 25mg alternate days?  If it has been since the start or middle of December it would probably be best to halve the dose and take 12.5mg every day.  If it has only been for about 1 week you may be able to take a lower dose daily.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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I'd agree that skipping doses is not a good plan.

 

You were on 4mg a day and then increased to 25mg every other day, which could have shocked your CNS. I would suggest sticking to a dose and then you should stabalise after a 4 - 6 week period. I wouldn't recommend updosing any further though.

 

Peace,

 

DC.

1997 - 2001 Seroxat 10mg

2001 - 2013 Escitalopram 10mg

Gradual taper from 10mg to 5mg over 2.5 years (between 2011 - 2013)

Last taper from 5mg to 0 under advice from doctor done in 1 month (too damn fast!) - included missing out days.

Have been drug free since Oct 2013.  - Yep 5 years drugs free

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Thanks guys, chessie I anticipated your response so have decided on 12.5mg every day. 4mg just wasn't cutting it I'm afraid and my Sertraline is dreadful for cutting up, it just crumbles, at least 1/4 tab I can measure properly, I can take it from there.

 

Unsurprisingly I already feel better for my dose this morning in what would have been a day off.....not very good at this am I

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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Hi 

 

Hope the dose you have decided on works for you. Everyone is different. From my experience it may be that it takes a while for you to feel better. The best way is to be patient and keep your doses the same and take them at the same time everyday.  Your CNS needs stability.

 

If you  find  you don't feel better it might be best to ask advice from the Moderators. They really know their stuff and give wonderful help.

 

Best Wishes

 

Flowers x

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. 

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night.  LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.  9.5.21 .01 mg x 2.  21.6.21 .01 mg x 1.  11.8.21 ZERO!

 

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Thanks flowers, your kind words are appreciated...onwards and upwards:)

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator

Hey ArtSet - how you going?

 

Are you still on 12.5 mg per day?  That's 1/2 of a 25 mg tablet?  Or is it 1/4 of a 50 mg tablet?

 

The crime is, they do not give us the tiny doses we need to taper safely, so the best thing to do is take it into our own hands, and do a liquid taper.  There is a liquid prescription sertraline available in the UK, to help you with tapering.

 

How are the wedding plans going?  Or are you giving that a break?  Did you get enough stability to move forward with that?  If so, congratulations!

 

If you cannot get your doctor to prescribe liquid sertraline, you can make your own:

How to Make a Liquid from Tablets or Capsule

and

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/235-using-an-oral-syringe-and-other-tapering-techniques/

 

Let us know how you are going!

 

I hope you see the Sun today.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

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  • 1 month later...

Hi JanCcarol, as you can tell from my absence I have been doing okay, with the wedding and everything...all loved up However I am back here as I am still struggling. I did take 12.5mg every day and still am but I think I am taking a slow nose dive. It's so hard to be pragmatic and objective! I don't know if it's stress at work, hormones, the come down from a wedding or my medication or a mixture of all of those things.

 

Excellent on the liquid advice, I have been wondering how I would lower doses any more, but at the moment I am actually considering going up a little until I stabilise.

 

Symptoms are tears, overly sensitive, anger, an inability to concentrate which is causing me issues at work, I sometimes have days where there feels like a physical black hole in my centre. At 46 I'm unsure if I'm just peri-menopausal or it's the meds, I feel a bit of a loss at the moment. My husband has suggested going back to my 50mg dose and having a proper planned taper rather than struggling at this low dose trying to make it work.

 

I am cutting up 50mg tabs so they do crumble which isn't helping as I know my dose is an approximation, roughly a quarter of a tab depending how it crumbled when I cut it

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Going back up to 50mg would be huge jolt to your system.  How long have you been regularly taking the 12.5mg daily for? 

 

I do suggest finding a way to get your doses accurate before considering an up-dose.  You can get sertraline in a liquid, or make your own:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1441-tips-for-tapering-off-zoloft-sertraline/

Edited by KarenB
added missing words

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Thanks guys. I had a really bad morning this morning, I haven't been that unwell in a very long time, however an hour after my dose I picked up. I have already made a 1:1 by following the guidance and have a syringe to measure my dose tomorrow morning. Onwards and upwards hopefully x

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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  • 3 months later...

Well I got down to 7.9mg and I'm giving up. I cannot continue this rollercoaster. I am struggling to do my job, I am terrified about a holiday that I have booked. Something I should be looking forward to. My relationships all round are suffering f but most of all I'm exhausted. I am so tired of not knowing from one day to the next how I will be, I cannot cope with the off the rails behaviour and the terrible pits of depression or anxiety I find myself in. Even dropping such minute doses I have awful days. I hate to give up but I e lost my fight, I'm so tired of trying to do this whilst hold down a full time stressful job, work at a new marriage and build my other business. I feel like such a failure but I'm tired and worn out

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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  • Administrator

Don't blame yourself, artset. Sometimes you have to hold on tapering for a while, maybe a few months, and let your nervous system settle down.

You've still come a long way, give yourself credit for that.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi artSet,

You haven't failed.  You have reduced your drug load.  You can stay at a dose on which you feel okay and hold on that.  Down the track you may decide that you want to try again.

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

 

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:    (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq      on 13th November 2021

Woohoo!!!  Finally off Pristiq    Post 0 updates start here

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

My full tapering program     My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)    My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.  Please DO NOT TAG me - thank you.

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Thank you for your kind words. I struggle with failure too and really don't want to give up all my hard work. Perhaps if I updose to 8 or 10mg and stay. I e just looked through my mood diary and I am 50/50 good/bad ATM I'd prefer to be 60/40 or 70/30 ?I just want 'me' back and not this pathetic  barely holding on some days, insecure person I become... sorry for the whoa is me ? A bad couple of days has me like that and they have been b-a-d ...

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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HI ArtSet,

Im really sorry you're going through such a bad rough patch.

You're doing so well, and although you want to give up - don't!

One things for certain....we are all going to experience blips in this taper journey, and this is just one of yours.

Very impressed you're building up a business as well, but be careful about putting yourself under so much pressure....you are in a fragile state, as we all are, when on this medication and dropping the dose.

Sounds like you are stretched in too many directions, when you really need to spend more time focused on your recovery.

Sorry to state the obvious.

Is there any chance you can "take your foot off the gas" for a while to allow your nervous system a chance to calm down??

HUGS,

JC x

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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Thanks JC you're a doll. I actually feel better as the day has gone on. I upped my dose back to 8mg this morning and that seems to have calmed me somewhat, I'm just so tired of the not knowing how I'm going to wake every day. Preaching to the converted aren't I? 

The only time I remember feeling 'normal' was actually on my full dose and I crave the days of mental and emotional stability. The thing is, when I look back at my bad moments (like last night) I'm certifiable! a crazy woman, I don't even make sense to myself, but when your heart is pounding, you feel sick and your thoughts are racing and seem to take on a life of their own - its very difficult to be pragmatic.

Thanks so much all for your kind support, thats all I needed, a little kick up the bum x

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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Being "kind to yourself", is not something that comes naturally to many of us.

If you think about all that you're coping with: new marriage, high stress job, new business, AD tapering.........its A LOT!!!

I know those being crazy moments, but they're a message to you saying "slow down ArtSet", "you're trying to do too much when you need to be kind to yourself at this time".

Great news that the day improved :)

Definitely don't give up!

JC x

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hugs, artset - big warm hugs for you.  The others are so right - be kind to yourself, recognise the good you have done, and honour what you need to do now. 

 

Earlier this year I completed an 8-month hold, and it helped me so much.  You will find the steps that are right for you.  

 

Karen

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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  • 1 month later...

I have a new question. How can you determine if your anxiety is withdrawal or reinstated issues for which you were prescribed in the first place? I ask because my anxiety is quite high at the moment but I have a very stressful job, I cannot afford to quit my job because I am the wage earner and tbh when I feel okay, I enjoy it. Is it WD or should I just be back on the AD and accept that maybe I need them to help manage my moods? I also worry that as a 46yr old female there are hormones involved too 

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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I had the exact same question when I started out here. It's just a wave. Your CNS is still searching for the right balance.

 

I reinstated as well and also have waves of high anxiety. Have you learned techniques to cope with it?

 

Congratulations with your wedding :-)

Took my first SSRI sipralexa/lexapro/escitalopram in 2007 for depression. In 2010 the doctor switched me to paroxetine/seroxat/paxil for anxiety.

My paroxetine story from then on:

 

2010-15 from 10mg up to 20mg

jan 2016 30mg

may 2016 0mg cold turkey (don't!)

dec 2016 symptoms: anxiety, tremor (could barely stand)

jan 2017 reinstated at 7.5mg to taper in steps of 10%

...

Dose changes from may 2017 to now: 

5.0/4.7/4.4/4.0/3.7/3.5/3.3/3.1mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

In addition to the two options you have outlined - having anxiety or going back on drugs - there is a third option.  It has no side-effects, does not 'poop-out' on you, will work whether the anxiety is from w/d or a pre-existing issue, and it has the best long-term outcomes:  non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms 

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Thanks for your responses guys. I think this little wave was due to forgetting my Saturday dose and at such a low level it has big effects. I do know how to deal with my anxiety as I have had it since I was 18 on and off. Yoga and breathing are my practice, the trouble is when I get too bad I.e tearful and angry with intense emotions, I do find it difficult to get my brain to concentrate on anything other than my misery! I have had a great deal of hypnotherapy and CBT which I can apply, again, great for mild not so much for extreme

50mg sertraline daily for past 4 years

December 2016 - 12.5mg daily - Moved to liquid doses

January 2017 - 10mg

March 2017 - 9mg
May 2017 Dropped to 8mg, having some side effects but coping, just waiting for it to even out again.

June 2017 - Dropped to 7.9mg - again, some side effects but coping

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