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Finn25: need guidance


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Day 25 of 6mg, and I've been really struggling the last 6 days or so, and causing anxiety over what to do next.


Sleep has been around 4-5 hours and eating has been a problem again. I've lost so much weight and know I have to eat, but it's like I have to force it.  I get waves of nausea, primarily in the morning, and sometimes after eating.


After doing some researching on this site, I think I've determined that DP is what I've been dealing at varying degrees in association with the blurred vision over the past 2.5 months or so. This is by far my most distressing symptom. Yesterday felt like a new low in that regard, as I had several crying spells. I feel outside of myself and I can't do anything about it.


My body temperature can't seem to get right and most of the time I feel cold. I've measured my temp at 96.5F a few times. I've had relatively low blood pressure my whole life, but when I had it checked recently it was 96/60. That may be an issue as well.


I have an eye twitch in my bottom right eye lid that's pretty consistent. 


Mentally I'm just not dealing with any of this well. I know that's not helping my situation, but I'm just not at all at peace with anything. I try to take my mind off of it, but literally everything reminds me of my condition. Things that I used to enjoy and look forward to now cause anxiety and despair because I can't enjoy them. Four months ago, I was a fully functioning husband and father who was doing rather well (I thought) with tapering. Now I feel so far away from that. How did I break my nervous system so fast?


I'm sorry this is not a great report and I hope it doesn't discourage any one.


So much of my time spent obsessing over my current dosage and whether it's not high enough to alleviate symptoms, or is my current round of symptoms due to too many recent changes. There's a part of me that wants to updose more, but the risk factor of that scares me immensely. Perhaps I haven't given the 6mg enough time?

2004 - March 2016 (12 years): Paxil 10 mg (2-month taper led to crash in May)

June 2016 (4 weeks): Lexapro 10 mg (cold swap to Zoloft)

July 2016 (3.5 weeks): Zoloft 50 mg (quit c/t and led to crash in late August)

late August - mid October 2016 (6 weeks): Lexapro 10 mg

10/13/2016 - 11/30/2017: Lexapro 20 mg (7 weeks)

Begin taper of Lexapro 12/1/2016:

2016: 12/1 - 18mg, 12/6 - 17mg, 12/22 - 14.5mg

2017: 2/12 - 13mg, 3/2 - 12.6 mg, 3/9 - 12.2mg, 3/14 - 11.8 mg, 3/23 - 11.4mg, 4/27 - 10mg, updose 5/18 - 11mg, 6/27 - 10.5mg, 7/23 - 10mg, 9/7 - 9mg, updose 9/15 - 10mg, 12/17 - 9.5 mg, 12/20 - 9.3mg

2018: 1/18 - 9 mg, 2/8 - 8.8mg, 2/15 - 8.5mg, 2/22 - 8.3mg, 3/1 - 8.1mg, updose 3/7 - 8.3mg, 4/5 - 7.9mg, 5/6 - 7.5mg, 6/2 - 7.1mg, 6/29 - 6.8mg, 7/29 - 6.4mg, 8/22 - 6.1mg, 9/15 - 5.8mg, 10/11 - 5.5mg, 11/9 - 5.2mg, 12/3 - 5mg

2019: 2/1 - Generic swap = bad reaction, 2/4 - back to previous generic, updose 2/20 - 5.2mg, 3/2 - 10mg, 3/6 - 6mg, 3/30 - updose 7mg, currently holding at 7mg

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