billy Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 (edited) Hi there all those struggling- I'm Paul and my life changed forever when I was hurt on the job as a Firefighter/EMT. I trusted medicine and the Dr's with my rehabilitation and sanity. I shouldn't have. My road has been a long one(12 years-8 on Xanax, Percocet , Valium, and numerous anti-depressants and mood stabilizers-too many to list-4 years off and on Anti depressants again to cope with the withdrawals just to go to work ) and I've had some seriously bad stretches of torment from the lasting affects of these potent drugs supposedly prescribed to help me, man what a mistake. I honestly don't know how I got to this place, really it's amazing. I endured all the side affects and withdrawals that have been listed on this site and more, but I'm still here. Agonizing at times and suicide always in my back pocket because, as you all know I'm sure it's awful, terrible, confusing, mind blowing and horrific. PERSEVERANCE is my favorite word now- really living through the hell I have and still do on occasion and never giving up!! I have more good days now than bad-but when the bad days hit it takes me right back to the exact moments of withdrawal that i felt before-but I just keep telling myself-YOU MADE IT THROUGH WORSE YOU WILL MAKE THROUGH THIS!!!!!!!! I encourage everyone reading this that this affliction can break you if you let it OR it can make you the most valuable thoughtful caring loving human being on the planet when you have been humbled by these terrible drugs! Turn it around and stop your suffering mind and know we all are pulling for you and have lived through this together!!! Edited November 29, 2016 by billy added white space Link to comment
yyeehhaaww Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 Wow, Paul. Welcome to SA. You are so very inspiring. I am so very glad you took the time to post so much motivation. Thank you for your service as a firefighter/EMT. You put your life on the line in service. THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD = NOW only on TRILEPTAL 450mg began w/900mg 7/16 -- off LITHIUM 600mg (sometimes 300mg 5/15 -11/16 took 2 months to taper) .... XANAX 2 mg for 2 weeks but addicted in 6/16 tapered 7/16-9/16 JUMPED 9/30 (believe have kindling from previous benzos) 6 meds nightly for INSOMNIA includes XANAX .. BELSOMRA 20mg c/t 8/20/16 off & on for a yr ZANAFLEX 8 mg /SILENOR 6mg/PROZASIN 15 mg/DOXEPIN 50 mg on all nightly 2 months 6/16 - 7/16 except for silenor (year) wd ALL 8/16-9/16 w/pdoc help c/t KLONOPIN .5mg which began INSOMNIA end of 3/15 after on for 4 months also horrible sound& light sensitivity sometimes took 2 or 3 reinstated & then c/t@hospital 5/15 on TEMPAZEPAM/SEROQUEL/LITHIUM when left hospital tolerance to temazepam after 1 month given ATIVAN in hospital& later SEROQUEL started @ 200 mg and overnight to 800 mg had horrible akathasisia & rash DEPAKOTE 1000 mg off after few wks ALL I COULD ENDUREthen AMBIEN side effects & tolerance on for few months 5/15 - 8/15 and then again 2 mos 5/16 LATUDA 3/16 on days BAD/GEODON 4/16 on less 2 weeks BAD AKATHASIA/ZYPREXA bad mouth shaking almost 24/7 off & on few months in 2015 & again in 2016trazodon/remeron/gabapentin/sonata/lunesta did nothing to help INSOMNIA so got off after few days - also short time SAPHRIS BAD MEDICATION SENSITIVE & have paradoxical side effects -- CANNOT TAKE BENZOS, ATYPICAL-ANTIPSYCHOTICS, ANTI-DEPRESSANTS PAST prior to 2 yrs on Prozac even1/4 pill caused BAD ANXIETY, CELEXA OK, Abilify, Pristiq, Lamictal, Paxil BAD - more but can't remember Link to comment
yyeehhaaww Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 I love your word PERSEVERANCE. I am going to use it. I hate ACCEPTANCE, but that is one I have been trying to use. THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD = NOW only on TRILEPTAL 450mg began w/900mg 7/16 -- off LITHIUM 600mg (sometimes 300mg 5/15 -11/16 took 2 months to taper) .... XANAX 2 mg for 2 weeks but addicted in 6/16 tapered 7/16-9/16 JUMPED 9/30 (believe have kindling from previous benzos) 6 meds nightly for INSOMNIA includes XANAX .. BELSOMRA 20mg c/t 8/20/16 off & on for a yr ZANAFLEX 8 mg /SILENOR 6mg/PROZASIN 15 mg/DOXEPIN 50 mg on all nightly 2 months 6/16 - 7/16 except for silenor (year) wd ALL 8/16-9/16 w/pdoc help c/t KLONOPIN .5mg which began INSOMNIA end of 3/15 after on for 4 months also horrible sound& light sensitivity sometimes took 2 or 3 reinstated & then c/t@hospital 5/15 on TEMPAZEPAM/SEROQUEL/LITHIUM when left hospital tolerance to temazepam after 1 month given ATIVAN in hospital& later SEROQUEL started @ 200 mg and overnight to 800 mg had horrible akathasisia & rash DEPAKOTE 1000 mg off after few wks ALL I COULD ENDUREthen AMBIEN side effects & tolerance on for few months 5/15 - 8/15 and then again 2 mos 5/16 LATUDA 3/16 on days BAD/GEODON 4/16 on less 2 weeks BAD AKATHASIA/ZYPREXA bad mouth shaking almost 24/7 off & on few months in 2015 & again in 2016trazodon/remeron/gabapentin/sonata/lunesta did nothing to help INSOMNIA so got off after few days - also short time SAPHRIS BAD MEDICATION SENSITIVE & have paradoxical side effects -- CANNOT TAKE BENZOS, ATYPICAL-ANTIPSYCHOTICS, ANTI-DEPRESSANTS PAST prior to 2 yrs on Prozac even1/4 pill caused BAD ANXIETY, CELEXA OK, Abilify, Pristiq, Lamictal, Paxil BAD - more but can't remember Link to comment
doggiemama Posted November 29, 2016 Share Posted November 29, 2016 Love the quotes yes is hell to go though but we will get better Link to comment
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