Alphie

[Alphie]

I am new to this forum.  I am hoping to find some help and recommendations.  I went off my antidepressant cold turkey. 

I started on antidepressants in 1999 after a difficult pregnancy with twins.  I don't remember the first antidepressant first taken, but eventually was prescribed Zoloft in 2005.  I did okay for a few years.  My GP added Welbutrin for a short time to help with weight gain and sexual dysfunction but it created severe sleep problems.  

After my mother's passing in 2008, my anxiety and depression worsened, so my GP switched my medication from Zoloft to Lexapro.  It didn't help but thought It was due to my mother's passing.

Early 2015, I started developing severe agitation, angry bouts, eye twitching, ticks, tremors, and panic attacks.  I saw my first Psychiatrist who prescribed Cymbalta.  He kept upping the dosage from 60 to 120.  I started developing side effects such as agitation, excess sweating, ringing in ears, and the list goes on.  My Psychiatrist lowered my dose which didn't help with side effects.  

 

I called my Psychiatrist several times with no call back.  So, I did what I now know was the wrong thing to do.  I quit cold turkey.  I developed all the side effects with going off the antidepressant.  What I didn't know at that time was that I was going through withdrawal for 6 months.  I was also having suicidal thoughts.

I eventually went in to see my GP until I could get in to see a Psychiatrist.  I was prescribed Lexapro.  The side effects were incredibly debilitating: Severe anxiety, panic attacks, loss of appetite, diarrhea, insomnia, heart palpitations.  My GP then tried Prozac with even more debilitating side effects.

I eventually was able to get in to see a Psychiatrist who told me "You cannot take antidepressants" and demanded I discontinue Prozac.  He prescribed Lorazepam.  This did nothing.  

What was wrong with me?  Why was I feeling this way?  No doctor could explain what I was going through and why? 

I went back to the Psychiatrist pleading for help.  He prescribed the lowest dose Effexor, which I was instructed to cut in half 37.5 mg.  The side effects were so incredible, I went to ER and was admitted to the Psych Unit.  I was prescribed lowest dose Remeron.  More severe side effects.  This was all mind boggling to me.  I didn't understand why for many years I was able to take antidepressants and now my body rejected them with the severe side effects.  

After discharge from the hospital, I was referred to another Psychiatrist.  She prescribed Viibryd only to continue with the severe side effects again, with even more problems. I am postmenopausal and have started menstruating.  

I had no idea what was wrong with me.  No doctor would or perhaps could tell me what I was going through.  I now know through blogs is that once going off an antidepressant, trying to go back on may not work, which is my case.

I've found some help on BeyondMeds.com, by accident which eventually let me to this forum.  This has helped to better understand what I am going through and why.  But how do I get through this?  After realizing what I am really going through, my husband has finally come to terms with understanding.  

I quit my antidepressant cold turkey.  I am frightened.  I need help and don't know where to go for help.  Is there any physician  who can help me?  If so, how do I find a reputable doctor in Minnesota? I need help and don't know where to turn.  How do I continue working?   

Current Symptoms:
Muscle and Joint Pain
Depersonalization and Derealization
Heart Pounding
No Appetite
Disoriented, Trouble Concentrating & Focusing
Memory Problems and Confusion
Ringing in Ears
Insomnia
Anxiety Attacks
Weeping
Etc....

I can't function.  I don't know how I can continue working.  

I'm hoping I can get some help here.

Edited December 4, 2016 by scallywag
highlight medications, added paragraph breaks and tags

[PoetJester]

Alphie

 

I just wanted to say "hi" quick.  I am a fellow Minnesotan living in Plymouth (western suburb of Mpls) and I quit Zoloft and zyprexa cold turkey in feb. 2014.  I am not sure I really have the best advice for you although it seems that time is the best healer in this wd madness.  l originally went 5 nights without sleep  when I quit ct and was vomiting all over my apt.  after that it was a few weeks of lightheadedness and brain zaps.   Since then, the insomnia and fatigue have been my main problems and have been pretty debilitating.  I went in and had blood work done last year and found that i was anemic and then went online and found that Zoloft can cause iron deficiency anemia.  i have started taking liquid iron supplements and do feel a little better.  i had all those heart palpatations for a while,too.  the supplement, Taurine, can help with those.  you can get it at whole foods for about $8 a bottle.  i was also filling up dishtowels with tears on a daily basis for a while, but that has subsided after about 2 years.  A lot of people find do Magnesium supplements helpful. 

 

About working, i wouldn't have been able to handle anything with this wd insomnia.  half the days i am little better than a zombie due to the cognitive and memory problems associated with sleep deprivation.    i walk outside with my fly down, i am forgetting stuff on the stove or losing things around the apt or forgetting names or what i was talking about in conversations that i am having.  i do hunt golf balls at area golf courses to earn a little money.  i go around 20-30 hours a week to earn some income to buy all these supplements i have been trying to alleviate the wd symptoms, but with golf ball hunting i can be my own boss and don't have to deal with anyone, so it's another kettle of fish. 

 

There may be others on here who have better advice, possibly a low dose reinstatement or something along those lines.  i quit ct because i didn't have a computer or internet service at the time and didn't really know about tapering.  About finding doctors, i have found little help around the twin cities.  i go through Park Nicollet and have found the doctors listen little to what i tell them and then just write me another script for an anti-depressant.  i have tried a few of them for a couple of days each since wd.  i gave remeron, trazadone, and ambien a try, but only seemed to get around 3 1/2 hours of sleep on them and then was dizzy all the next day. Anyhow, i hope you find some improvement in your symptoms and support for what you are going through

 

Poetjester (Derek)

[scallywag]

Here's a simple timeline of your medication and withdrawal history that I've discerned from your first post.

 

abbreviations used:

C/T = cold turkey

d/c = discontinue

Sx = symptoms

→ = "led to" or "resulted in"

 

2005: Zoloft, + Wellbutrin then discontinued

2008: + Lexapro, stop Zoloft

early 2015: onset of severe Sx

 

2015 - 2016

+ Cymbalta 60 mg, stop Lexapro,

↑ Cymbalta to 120,  then stopped C/T due to continued Sx, w/d Sx for 6 months

+ Lexapro → debilitating adverse effects, therefore stopped

+ Prozac → no improvement in Sx, therefore stopped

+ Lorazepam → no improvement in Sx, therefore stopped

+ Effexor, 18.75 mg ½ of 37.5 mg tablet → severe worsening of Sx → ER visit → Psych unit admission, Effexor discontinued

+ Remeron "lowest dose" during hospitalization → no improvement in Sx, discharge, referred to outpatient pDoc who d/c Remeron and

+ Viibryd → no improvement in Sx, developed new symptoms, ??still taking??.

[scallywag]

Alphie -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)
 
You've had a very rough road leading to the discovery that your CNS (central nervous system) has become highly sensitive to anti-depressants and possibly other neuro-active medications. I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but am glad that you found us.
 
Are you still taking Viibryd? If so, at what dose?
 
A request: Would you summarize your history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-18 months particularly?

• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago)
• Any drugs prior to 18 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years.
• You don't need to include symptoms or diagnoses other than the initial condition that led to prescribing the first drug.
• We ask for this information in your signature so that we can see it at a glance. A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs.
• You can find instructions in this topic: Please put your withdrawal history in signature
• If you are using a phone or mobile device, you need to switch to the "full" or desktop version of the site. Instructions are in Post 8 and Post 9

Some people find magnesium and fish oil helpful during withdrawal. If you choose to supplement, pick one and start with a low dose. Here are links to our discussion topics:
Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker
Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

The symptoms you mention are all known symptoms of withdrawal, and also adverse effects of medication. Here are discussion topics for some of the symptoms you've listed:

• Non-drug techniques for dealing with physical pain
• Depersonalization and Derealization
• Brain fog and cognitive & memory problems
• Tinnitus or ringing in the ears
• Tips to help sleep - so many of us have that awful withdrawal insomnia

 

This link has a list of links to discussions about a number of other individual symptoms: 

Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems

 

I've given you lots to read and do. Please have a look at the topics I've linked and come back here to your introduction & update topic to post your questions so that all your information is in one place.

[Alphie]

Help!  I recently had labs done at my Physical Exam and, as suspected, am deficient in B-12.  

 

Since W/D, I've had sensitivity taking my "B" supplement, ramping up W/D symptoms, incredible anxiety, increased Depersonalization/Deregulation, and insomnia.

 

With advice from my G.P., I took B-12 Cyanocobalamin 500 mcg.  My anxiety, Dep/Dereg, OCD, Suicidal Ideation, and insomnia sky rocketed.   I then tried B-12 Methylcobalamin which made matters worse.  

 

Doing some investigating, it is my understanding I am only able to get B-12 from certain foods, B-12 supplement or injection.  I've had adverse reactions during w/d from supplements and I don't believe eating foods high in B-12 would raise levels up high enough to get me out of this deficiency.

 

I don't know that I can approach my G.P. for advice since she doesn't believe I'm currently in withdrawal.   

 

I greatly appreciate your advice.  Thank you.  

 

[KarenB]

Tricky.  You might try taking less?  Or try an iron supplement which has only a small amount of B12 in it.  

 

Or, have a look at getting it from food, but also pay attention to which foods to eat which help us to make good use of the B12 we are getting.  This includes calcium-rich foods, and cranberry juice.   

[Alphie]

When I cold-turkeyed in October 2015, (I had no idea I had been experiencing withdrawal symptoms for eight months)  I attempted reinstating eight months later, trying several antidepressants over several months with severe side effects with each one.  Severe anxiety, panic attacks, head burning, agitation, diarrhea, quivering, shaking, could feel my heart beating in my stomach, alarming increase in blood pressure and pulse, severe derealization and depersonalization, and the list goes on. My anxiety, depersonalization, deregulation, and insomnia are by far my current worst symptoms with no relief whatsoever.  

 

I'm coming up on 10 months after my last cold-turkey, and I am feeling no relief.  I see a great deal about "Kindling" on blogs and have come to believe I may be experiencing this horrendous hell.  I'm not finding much anywhere other than "what" kindling is, but I am not finding anything more on the subject. Do folks heal from kindling?

 

Will I ever heal?  Is there any hope for me?   

 

 

 

 

[Alphie]

Alphie: 

 

1999: Started AD (unknown name)

2005: Zoloft100 mg . Stop ? AD +welbutrin short time

2008: Lexapro. Stop Zoloft → debilitating adverse effects.

04/2015: Cymbalta 60 mg. Stop Lexapro

06/2015: Cymbalta 120 mg.

10/2015: Stopped Cymbalta C/T due to continued Sx, w/d Sx for 6 months.

03/10/2016: + Lexapro 20 mg → debilitating adverse effects, therefore stopped

04/2016: + Prozac → no improvement in Sx, therefore stopped

05/2016: + Lorazepam → no improvement in Sx, therefore stopped

07/16/2016: + Effexor, 18.75 mg ½ of 37.5 mg tablet. Increased to 37.5 mg → severe worsening of Sx → ER visit → Psych unit admission, Effexor discontinued

08/08/2016: + Remeron "lowest dose" during hospitalization → no improvement in Sx, discharge, referred to outpatient pDoc who d/c Remeron 08/14/2016.

08/16/2016: Start Zoloft 12.5 mg. Increased to 25 mg 08/20/2016. → debilitating adverse effects, therefore stopped.

08/30/2016: + Viibryd → no improvement in Sx, developed new symptoms. 

10/2016: Discontinued Viibryd  → debilitating adverse effects.

 

 

[Alphie]

When I cold-turkeyed in October 2015, (I had no idea I had been experiencing withdrawal symptoms for eight months)  I attempted reinstating eight months later, trying several antidepressants over several months with severe side effects with each one.  Severe anxiety, panic attacks, head burning, agitation, diarrhea, quivering, shaking, could feel my heart beating in my stomach, alarming increase in blood pressure and pulse, severe derealization and depersonalization, and the list goes on. My anxiety, depersonalization, deregulation, and insomnia are by far my current worst symptoms with no relief whatsoever.  

 

I'm coming up on 10 months after my last cold-turkey, and I am feeling no relief.  I see a great deal about "Kindling" on blogs and have come to believe I may be experiencing this horrendous hell.  I'm not finding much anywhere other than "what" kindling is, but I am not finding anything more on the subject. Do folks heal from kindling?

 

Will I ever heal?  Is there any hope for me?   

 

Alphie: 

 

1999: Started AD (unknown name)

2005: Zoloft100 mg . Stop ? AD +welbutrin short time

2008: Lexapro. Stop Zoloft → debilitating adverse effects.

04/2015: Cymbalta 60 mg. Stop Lexapro

06/2015: Cymbalta 120 mg.

10/2015: Stopped Cymbalta C/T due to continued Sx, w/d Sx for 6 months.

03/10/2016: + Lexapro 20 mg → debilitating adverse effects, therefore stopped

04/2016: + Prozac → no improvement in Sx, therefore stopped

05/2016: + Lorazepam → no improvement in Sx, therefore stopped

07/16/2016: + Effexor, 18.75 mg ½ of 37.5 mg tablet. Increased to 37.5 mg → severe worsening of Sx → ER visit → Psych unit admission, Effexor discontinued

08/08/2016: + Remeron "lowest dose" during hospitalization → no improvement in Sx, discharge, referred to outpatient pDoc who d/c Remeron 08/14/2016.

08/16/2016: Start Zoloft 12.5 mg. Increased to 25 mg 08/20/2016. → debilitating adverse effects, therefore stopped.

08/30/2016: + Viibryd → no improvement in Sx, developed new symptoms. 

10/2016: Discontinued Viibryd  → debilitating adverse effects.

[ShakeyJerr]

21 hours ago, Alphie said:

Will I ever heal?  Is there any hope for me?

 

Yes, Alphie - there is hope for you and you will heal. There is a lot of great info all over this site to help you, and the community here will support you every step of the way.

 

Let's look at trying to build you a toolkit to help with your symptoms.

 

What are you doing to help you heal and to help alleviate your symptoms? I see from the thread that you are taking Vitamin B supplements. That could be having a paradoxical effect; the B-12 could be adding to your anxiety.

 

Are you taking any other supplements?

 

Also, do you practice mindful breathing? This is deep breathing into your belly - through the nose - and then emptying the breath out through your mouth. No gasping, no whooshing out the air, no gulping. Just slow and steady breathing where your belly rises and falls instead of upper chest breathing.

 

Mindful breathing is usually my first suggestion for people in recovery from anti-depressants. Along with prayer, it is my go-to whenever anxiety begins to rise. So let's start with mindful breathing - and also let's take a look at your supplement routine and your eating habits. Clean eating is also essential to recovery. Our bodies are highly sensitized to sugar, caffeine, and bleached white flour (along with other processed foods). This is because most people in recovery have some level of adrenal fatigue, and these foods make it worse.

 

I don;t want to bombard you with stuff, so let's use this as a starting point.

 

SJ

[Alphie]

Thanks for your assistance, ShakeyJerr.

 

I'm doing my best at surviving.  

 

Yeah, I've had to eliminate all my supplements several months ago as they were creating severe side effects.   I'm only able to tolerate a multi and turmeric at this time.  If you see in my thread, I cannot tolerate B anymore, was tested by my GP, and am extremely low.  I'm doing my best at eating foods rich in B's.  

 

I tried several attempts at reinstating 6 months after my initial CT.  I know now this created "kindling" from the information I've found in other blogs.  My withdrawal symptoms are much worse after attempting these reinstatements than after my initial CT.  I am not finding much on kindling here or elsewhere other than how it's caused.  I am interested to know more about this, if healing takes longer due to kindling?  Where would I find more on kindling other than pouring through hundreds of other folks' threads?  

 

Again, thank you for your assistance.    

[KarenB]

limbic-kindling-hardwiring-the-brain-for-hypersensitivity

 

kindling

 

[Alphie]

I would appreciate advice on alcohol tinctures.  I am having difficulty sleeping, waking early morning, getting 3-4 hours sleep (sometimes no sleep whatsoever).  My anxiety and panic attacks are worsening (22 months WD).  I'd been taking Magnesium Glycinate before bed; which had been giving me 5-7 hours sleep for several months.  However, it has not been helping me lately to stay asleep during the night.  

 

I've come across a couple products I'm interested in trying to help with these issues.  One is a liquid Valerian herbal supplement, produced by Herb Pharm, to aid in sleep, and the other is Count To Zen, produced by Oregons Wild Harvest, to aid in adrenal health. I'm interested to know, since I'm in WD and cannot tolerate alcohol, if it's possible to take a alcohol tincture?  Thank you. 

 

Note: Punarbhava posted an article on Valerian June 16, 2011; however, I'd like to know if a tincture is possible to take in WD.  Recommendations are appreciated. 

 

https://www.oregonswildharvest.com/tonic-counttozen-biodynamic

 

http://herb-pharm.com/products/product-detail/valerian

 

 

 

[brassmonkey]

It would come down to how intolerant of alcohol you are and how big the dose is. If just a sip of wine or beer causes trouble then I would stay way from the tinctures. If you can tolerate that much and the dose is in the few drops to half teaspoon range then there probably wouldn't be any problems.  

 

Valerian is usually well tolerated by people in ADWD.  It does have it's drawbacks though.  Like most sleep aids it can help you relax and fall asleep, but it doesn't necessarily help keep you there. It tends to loose it's effectiveness after several weeks and in the case of high doses needs to be tapered.  Not to mention it smells and tastes nasty.