LexAnger Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 30 minutes ago, gemini said: hi whyssri. i also cold turkeyed off all meds after a lifetime of being on them. let me tell you...it gets sooo much better! i am beginning to feel real emotions for the first time in my life. best, gemini So great to hear Gemini! This give me a lot hope! i tried to read your journey, but didn't find it except for posts you made to others intro. Can you share more of your recovery or point me to your introduction ? lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
gemini Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 yes of course. i will post a detailed story later but, in sh ort: was on meds all of my life (almost 20 years) with spurts here and there off meds, but in hindsight, always had to go back on because of acute withdrawal symptoms that i did not even know where withdrawal symptoms (thought sxs of preexisting condition ). i am almost three years off meds (mostly ssri's) and beginning to sense that i can live a life better than i ever have before. i am able to work (not full time yet) and function in ways that i never thought possible. e.g., my "agoraphobia" (entirely meds induced) is almost gone. i thought iw as a mercurial, angry, miserable, anxious personality; no, it was meds induced. i am rediscovering who i am - a thoughtful, kind, decent person, and one how lives in reality - accepting circumstances as they are and striving towards a better life for myself. symptoms abating: extreme cognitive fogginess, disturbing imbalanced gait, blurry vision, extreme hunger, depression, agitation, paranoia/fear (entirely cortisol produced), energy levels coming back to normal, and a host of other sxs improving peace and much healing to you! off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago. Link to comment
bhasski Posted January 8, 2018 Share Posted January 8, 2018 5 hours ago, gemini said: i thought iw as a mercurial, angry, miserable, anxious personality; no, it was meds induced. Hi... the things you mentioned . I feel I am. I usually go to rage stage . Not able to tolerate false behaviors of others. Its 21 months off all things I am. And still miserable. Sorry for posting here 08/13 - 01/14Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem) 02/14 - 05/14Flunil 20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.2510/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)11/14 - 08/15Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T) 03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam. After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda Link to comment
WhySSRI Posted January 9, 2018 Author Share Posted January 9, 2018 Hello everyone, Thank you all for visiting and checking up on me. I haven't felt like writing anything for such a long time. I have been lurking around. I imagine it will be a very long time for me to heal. I did have a few windowy moment here and there but nothing permanent as of yet. My journey continues and I suffer non stop symptoms. My life is so lonely and empty. I am filled with so much misery. So sorry I don't have anything positive to say right now. I am 18 months off cold turkey now. 2010 - had my first full blown panic attack started on alprazolam 0.5 mg2011 - was told by doc to try AD along with benzo to control panic attack and anxiety lexapro 20 mg alprazolam 2.0 mg2012 - was told by doc to switch out medication paxil 40 mg clonazepam 2.0 mgMar 2016 - made the jump to cymbalta 60 mg clonazepam 2.0 mgJuly 2016 - got sick and tired of taking meds finally decided to cold turkey meds - BE HERE NOW - My Intro Link to comment
LexAnger Posted January 10, 2018 Share Posted January 10, 2018 I'm so sorry WHy that things didn't improve for you for a while! Such a hard journey regardless how strong you try to be! Please don't feel sorry for not having positive update. You are not alone. I'm off for 108 days after a 5 yrs taper and in the worst WD ever. When we are in the darkest place seeing no light for a long time in this journey, it seems we are forever doomed and it will be like this no end, but thats when the light is showing up! Time and patience, more time and patience, painfully but eventually that will carry us to the other side. You are in my prayer and thoughts, We hang in more together hugs, lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
rupa Posted January 11, 2018 Share Posted January 11, 2018 Hello whySSRI Hope things will get better to you with time. Are you experiencing dreams and sleep disturbance? Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use. Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep. Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance. Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017. May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml. Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018. "0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now. Link to comment
WhySSRI Posted January 12, 2018 Author Share Posted January 12, 2018 Hi rupa, Thanks for visiting. I haven't had a refreshing sleep in a long time. I've developed exploding head syndrome just about when I'm about to fall asleep. Hair on my head falls off at an alarming rate where as hair everywhere else is getting thicker. I continue to struggle with tinnitus, head pressure, off balance boaty feeling, brain fog cog fog and the list goes on long. If it wasn't for SA I wouldn't have been able to understand all these symptoms. 2010 - had my first full blown panic attack started on alprazolam 0.5 mg2011 - was told by doc to try AD along with benzo to control panic attack and anxiety lexapro 20 mg alprazolam 2.0 mg2012 - was told by doc to switch out medication paxil 40 mg clonazepam 2.0 mgMar 2016 - made the jump to cymbalta 60 mg clonazepam 2.0 mgJuly 2016 - got sick and tired of taking meds finally decided to cold turkey meds - BE HERE NOW - My Intro Link to comment
WhySSRI Posted January 12, 2018 Author Share Posted January 12, 2018 Hi lex, Yes, these are dark times for me. Thank you for all the reassurances. 2010 - had my first full blown panic attack started on alprazolam 0.5 mg2011 - was told by doc to try AD along with benzo to control panic attack and anxiety lexapro 20 mg alprazolam 2.0 mg2012 - was told by doc to switch out medication paxil 40 mg clonazepam 2.0 mgMar 2016 - made the jump to cymbalta 60 mg clonazepam 2.0 mgJuly 2016 - got sick and tired of taking meds finally decided to cold turkey meds - BE HERE NOW - My Intro Link to comment
LexAnger Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 Omg, I'm so sorry WHY! I was hoping you were continuing improving like the past months! Is the exploding head gone now? Was it just one time sxs? I had one incidence made me totally freeking out! Super scary even afterward for a few days. If you check the topic for it on SA, you will see my post about the experience. You ou are one of the strongest members WHY. I admire you so much and I believe you will eventually survive this most painful and dark journey! Please continue hanging in. And you are not alone, I'm on my 6th yr now since starting the taper and been off for 100 days now still pretty much paralyzed allover and having all crazy painful sxs. But we will beat it as long as we don't give up and just continue hanging in. love lex Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
gemini Posted January 12, 2018 Share Posted January 12, 2018 On 1/8/2018 at 1:18 AM, bhasski said: Hi... the things you mentioned . I feel I am. I usually go to rage stage . Not able to tolerate false behaviors of others. Its 21 months off all things I am. And still miserable. Sorry for posting here off cold turkey:zoloft, trileptal, stratteracurrently on:<p>latuda .05 milligrams latuda (to stabilize cns) from 20 mgs 4 months ago. Link to comment
LexAnger Posted July 4, 2018 Share Posted July 4, 2018 How are you WHY? Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now