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☼ Rbvdk: PGAD/PSSD or OCD?


Rbvdk

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Hi RBVDK,

Please stay strong. I know how hard this is. I was in your shoes too. I became so depressed, I felt so hopeless and desprete. You will heal and you will get better.
My advice to you is to cease Citolaraplam because it is very likely making things worse for you.
Speaking from my own experience, after Zoloft reaction, I could not even take Magnesium or fish oil as it would flare up PGAD symptoms. I could not take suppliments. We are all different, but at this point, I would not take anything.
Benzos helped a bit reducing PGAD symptoms, but even that can make it worse or you can get addicted to benzos.
If you can, don't take anything and let your body heal. It is going to take time to recover.
I know how devastating this is to you.
But I am here to let you know that you will heal and as hard as it is, you have to be patient.
In my own experience, doctors did not know how to help me.
Time will heal you and not much else. You have to be patient, strong and to know that one day this will be a distant memory.
What I found helpful to relieve burning and pain is to have a cool sit baths with salt. Maybe you could add couple drops of origano oil in the sit bath. Origano oil is supposed to be anti-inflammatory.
Obviously do your research before you try.
But try cool or even cold sitz baths.
It takes away that terrible burning feeling.
Stay positive this will pass. Be kind and loving towards your self. It is not your fault that this is happening to you. If I got through it, you will too. And I was really bad, 3 years ago. But I am healing and getting better, day by day. Walk as much as you can, because that helps you to forget the hard times that you are going through. I walked every single day. Surround your self with the people that care about you. Don't get pressured by your family to go up a dose or to try something else. I felt a bit pressured by my family to try Seroquel and Mirtazapine. Seroquel was flaring my PGAD symptoms, so I had to quit taking it cold turkey. Don't make the same mistakes I made. I am still tapering Mitrazapine. Think it through. It is your life. Just remember that you will not have PGAD for the rest of your life. That is extremely unlikely. Hold on and never give up. You deserve to have a good life and hold on to people that you love. Head up , you are a winner already. Best wishes to you, Hopefull. Xo :)

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Hey Shep, Thank you :) It's hard to tell about if it's worse before reinstating because I was about to be on my period as I started taking them. I felt like I was getting better for a couple days before Cito, then the next day it wasn't so good so I started taking Cito 2 days before my period. It still felt like it was getting better and on the 4th day of cito (and heaviest day of period) I felt completely cured. Then it started gradually getting worse for 3 days but yesterday it was slightly better (I'm not sure about today because I just woke up and I still feel it but it's pretty mild). Sorry if that's confusing. But its very hard to tell what's related to my period, Citolapram or coincidence. :/

 

Some symptoms are different but it's hard to tell what's anxiety and what's withdrawals. Like since Cito I've been getting twitches in what feels like my bladder. Also I've been getting burning and aching pain in my butt which is weird and starting to make me wonder if it is an injury after all. My sleep started getting better since those 2 days before Citolapram, I still wake up with panic attacks sometimes though. And I don't get sleep paralysis since Cito but I never did while I was on them (I used to get it a lot before ever taking them). The most annoying thing is the unbearable headaches Cito always gave me, I'm starting to wonder if it's doing some damage.

Sorry again if this doesn't make sense I just woke up and my headache is making it hard to focus. Thank you again!

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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Hi Hopefull, thank you so much! I'm so sorry you had to go through this and I'm so glad you're getting better. You're so kind and helpful you deserve a good life. :) Do you feel like Mirazapine actually made it better or worse? And do you think it prolonged your condition or helped heal it faster? :) I'll take a look at the baths thanks! I try to walk around my house for a bit but I'm too anxious to go outside. :/

Thanks again :) xx

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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I've felt completely normal for 2 hours, better than I've ever felt (except for that 1 really good day) I'm so confused on how random this is. When I feel like this I'm so sure I'm getting better but when I feel bad I'm so sure it's gotten worse, it's fluctuated so much.

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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 Do you think maybe the throbbing is just apart of it rather than it being apart of your PGAD fear? In fact do you think it could be possible the whole thrush thing is apart of OCD too? Brains are just evil sometimes, they can cause severe pain (like chronic conditions) for people without any mental problems, so I don't doubt they can cause things like this. I'm hoping so anyway... I would much rather it be in my head than a real physical thing.

 

 

I do think the throbbing is caused by an actual condition, I'm just not sure what it is! As I sit here typing I am feeling so awful down there. Now I am having horrible burning around anal area too so I applied some hemorrhoid cream out of desperation. I also did a baking soda ****** as that is the standard treatment for cytolytic vaginosis. I noticed you said you felt better on your period and so did I ( this is very common with cytolytic vaginosis.) But only for like two days darn it and then itching/burning/irritation returned. I also think you should try a baking soda sitz bath. Just add a tablespoon to a few inches of warm water and sit in it for 15 minutes. I really hope we can find answers. Genital problems are truly their own special kind of hell. I long for the days when I wasn't "aware" of my private parts 24/7. :(

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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They really are absolutely horrible. :( I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so bad right now, I can't believe stuff like this can happen, no one deserves this. Is there really no treatment for your condition? Does it ever go away? As for the period thing, I still don't think I have that condition, my ****** has been completely normal through the whole thing and I've never had discharge from anywhere. It's only my clit that's been suffering really.

 

As for the anal area, I don't know if it's related to the PGAD but I'm 99% sure it's just the damage from the exercise bike, it hurt so bad (I'm usually fine but I was going through the first set of withdrawals, had a sickness bug, pushed myself harder than I normally do (trying to get my heart rate high) AND about to be on my period all at the same time) my body must have been super weak and now I'm still paying for it but it is definitely healing. It was so bad before that all the muscles in that area (including my butt cheeks lol) literally wouldn't stop contracting for days, like some kinda butt-crunches. It was absolute agony that I wouldn't be surprised if it damaged something permanently or long-term (and maybe caused the PGAD).

 

It could be injury it could be withdrawals, it could be both which makes me feel very hopeless because even one of them alone takes forever to get rid of, if at all.

 

I really hope you get relief and I hope it goes away for you. You're incredibly strong. I don't know much about the condition but if there's no treatment for it at the moment just hold on to the fact that science has progressed so rapidly and we're getting cures for even terminal things now, and that one day soon they will find a cure for all these things we're going through. Xx

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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Eh it censored V@gin@?

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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They really are absolutely horrible. :( I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so bad right now, I can't believe stuff like this can happen, no one deserves this. Is there really no treatment for your condition? Does it ever go away? As for the period thing, I still don't think I have that condition, my ****** has been completely normal through the whole thing and I've never had discharge from anywhere. It's only my clit that's been suffering really.

 

As for the anal area, I don't know if it's related to the PGAD but I'm 99% sure it's just the damage from the exercise bike, it hurt so bad (I'm usually fine but I was going through the first set of withdrawals, had a sickness bug, pushed myself harder than I normally do (trying to get my heart rate high) AND about to be on my period all at the same time) my body must have been super weak and now I'm still paying for it but it is definitely healing. It was so bad before that all the muscles in that area (including my butt cheeks lol) literally wouldn't stop contracting for days, like some kinda butt-crunches. It was absolute agony that I wouldn't be surprised if it damaged something permanently or long-term (and maybe caused the PGAD).

 

It could be injury it could be withdrawals, it could be both which makes me feel very hopeless because even one of them alone takes forever to get rid of, if at all.

 

I really hope you get relief and I hope it goes away for you. You're incredibly strong. I don't know much about the condition but if there's no treatment for it at the moment just hold on to the fact that science has progressed so rapidly and we're getting cures for even terminal things now, and that one day soon they will find a cure for all these things we're going through. Xx

 

Well I haven't been diagnosed yet, it's just what I suspect from reading others' experiences online. I have an appt. with a vaginal disorder specialist at the end of March (counting down the days) and I pray she has some answers for me. If it is CV there is treatment but it's not always successful.

 

I think this has already been mentioned but in my online research I've heard great things about pelvic floor therapy for vaginal pain. I know I would sometimes get an awful stabbing pain inside my *** the day after doing laundry! I had a bad habit of lifting a laundry basket that was way too heavy and I wasn't lifting it properly and must have aggravated some muscles down there or something. I wouldn't be surprised if those injuries contributed to what we are going through now. Thank you for the words of encouragement, we will get through this!

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Aw wow March :( Is there no way of going sooner? I really hope it's treatable for you. And ah that's annoying, it's so hard to pin point what the causes or contributions are, we need answers asap so we can get it sorted before we accidentally make it worse worse! :/ I really hope it goes well for you and that you can see someone sooner somehow. Let me know how it goes too and I'll definitely update on what mine says in January. :)

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Sorry for keep posting but I need help. I'm definitely getting much worse! I'm starting to feel it 24/7 again only with even worse waves that last for almost a minute each, they're so strong. It's worse than I felt right at the start and I'm starting to really think Citolapram is making it worse. I should have never taken it but now I'm stuck because coming off them again will make it worse too right?

 

Also my doctors and family are urging me to take the 10mg (because apparently you don't get the benefits any lower - just side effects) but that could just make it even worse! I feel so alone in this and I'm so scared!

 

I really need help, should I have taken Citolapram again? Should I up it? Should I come off it? I used to not feel it in the mornings but now it's there as soon as I wake up. Please someone help I'm so desperate for answers and the other day I broke down so bad at my DRs I almost got hospitalised. :( I'm trying everything so hard to deal with this but it's hard when the symptoms are only getting worse. How can they feel worse than I've ever had if I'm supposed to be healing? :(

 

 

Hi, Rbvdk.

 

I asked Alto if you can stop after 6 days, and she said "yes", so it's up to you. 

 

I'm a bit confused if you are doing better after reading your latest posts, but at least you have an answer to that question. 

 

I wouldn't wait much longer, though, if you are considering stopping the reinstatement. 

 

 

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Thank you for answering. :) It's so confusing, yesterday and today I feel it sorta in my bladder too (during spikes). Also today I felt it as I walked a bit, and when I shake my legs. But today I've been getting discharge that's very obviously some yeast infection. It's funny cos it made me feel hopeful which actually helped alot alone.

So thrush/yeast infections can appear anywhere and sometimes don't have any or all typical symptoms. I can imagine it giving me the arousal feeling because it swells up and stuff. So I've taken an oral thrush pill, it takes about 2 days to a week to take effect. Would be weird if it was actually that and anxiety the whole time. I think if it really was though it must be pretty severe to be spreading deep and stuff so I'm not sure if I'll need any extra treatment or take longer to go away. I'll keep everyone updated anyway.
Thanks again to everyone who's been helping me. :)

Edited by ChessieCat
removed inappropriate term

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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Hi just an update, the itching/tingling/arousal felt a bit milder yesterday and today I've been awake for 8 hours now and I haven't felt it at all! Although it is a bit sensitive to touch. It also twitches when I try to relax my pelvis. Only thing is the pain in my butt has gotten worse and weirdly enough I'm feeling the tingling there and around it. I don't know if I have some pelvic floor dysfunction or maybe it's just constipation (that's how it feels anyway) but the last time I got it was caused by the bike and mostly anxiety (I could tell I was subconsciously tensing it but couldn't stop). Maybe it's piles. I'll keep updating anyhow!

Also I saw the edit "removed inappropriate term" sorry I have no idea what that was? :/

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi guys, so I've been in hospital because I woke up with a massive fever, I told them about the tingling and pains I've been getting too. I've had X-Rays, CT scan, MRI scan, lots of examinations including one from a gynaecologist. Absolutely no nerve damage, hypersensitivity, entrapment or pelvis tightness, muscle damage etc at all. Turns out I just had a very serious hidden urine/bladder infection (never showed up in blood or urine samples or swabs) which has been spreading to my kidney. I'm on antibiotics now and although I feel worse on them (which is apparently normal) I'm hoping SO much that all this will go away once it's healed. Apparently it's very normal for these infections to cause tingling and sensitivity and stuff (I also started getting in my bladder, stomach - and foot for some reason). Anyway, I thought I should tell you all and give a bit of hope, maybe you guys should check for infections too?

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm sorry to hear you had to be hospitalized, but I'm glad they finally diagnosed the infection and you're getting treatment.

 

I hope you see major improvements soon and this takes care of your symptoms. 

 

 

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Thank you so much Shep. :) Happy new year to you all by the way!

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Sorry you're in the hosptial Rbvdk. Although the antibiotic treatment is leaving you feeling a bit worse, it must be good to know that you're probably on your way to feeling much better.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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Oh wow, what a crazy turn of events. So sorry to hear you had to be hospitalized but it must feel like a relief to finally have some answers as to what the issue was. How did they finally discover it was a bladder infection if it didn't show up on urine tests?

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Thanks Scallywag :) And I'm not too sure Ladybug, I think there was traces of blood in some of my urine tests and my blood tests said there was some inflammation but apparently it's really common for bladder infections to not show up in urine tests and some doctors even prescribe antibiotics anyway based on symptoms because it's so common. They realised my whole right side was a bit weak too (my infection/symptoms are on the right side of my bladder and kidney) also my fever was around 41c which is a definite infection (they said I've had it for a while but It doesn't always give you a fever until it spreads more in your kidneys). It really made me realise how easy it is to miss such a major infection and made me think more people with pgad should definitely try and get checked out. Like before this I was convinced it was peduminal nerve entrapment, pelvic floor dysfunction or hypersensitivity from the antidepressants, I had all the symptoms and causes of these and I thought no way it's just some infection (I never get them and I didn't even have most symptoms). Just shows how weird our bodies are lol.

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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It's gonna be different for everyone but just incase it might help someone out, these were my other symptoms (they were very minor which is why I didn't realise they were apart of each other until now) :

It felt like there was something in the right side under my bladder but usually I only felt it if I'd been moving too much.

Random kidney pain

Neck ache (not sure if related)

Tingling in right toe (infections can cause tingling in different parts of your body)

Tingling in clit (I think it's because mine is sorta slanted on the right side and that's where the major part of the infection was).

After a month I started getting tingling in the right side of my bladder too but more rarely.

Vibration feelings/blood rush.

Constipation (very painful).

Weakness.

Tiredness.

Very bad pain after ibuprofen (I didn't realise until I googled it that anti-inflammation drugs can cause a strain on your kidney).

Good days and bad days.

Tingling felt better when I didn't eat too much (probably straining on my kidney when I ate a lot).

Bad sickness when too hungry or full.

Lower back/pelvic pain that was worse after showering or walking a lot.

Felt better in the morning for a bit (until it got worse)

Headaches/migraines especially on Citolapram (Probably because it dehydrated me more and apparently Citolapram is very mild anti-inflammatory too).

Dehydration without realising (I barely drink and now looking back I see why I had the symptoms I had for so long).

Muscle cramps and twitching (could have been anxiety or dehydration).

 

Obviously it's gonna be different if the infection is in a different place and it's just a chance that mine so happened to be in the place that causes pgad symptoms. But yeah if it's still mild then I'd try some tests, drink LOADS and try some probiotic foods. I hope this helps someone one day. :)

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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Oh my gosh, THANK YOU for that list of symptoms! It's been on my mind ever since I read your post as I have wondered even before I read it if I was having UTI issues as I definitely get a frequent burning down there. I even bought one of those at home UTI tests but it came out negative.

 

I looked at my last tests from April 2016 and they did a urinalysis that found "many" bacteria and trace amounts of blood but never said anything about it! That's how awful my doctors are but since I'm currently uninsured I have no choice.

 

Now I'm starting to wonder if could have the same issue as you, I mean we've been so similar with our other issues as well (OCD farting, etc.) why not this? Lol. Definitely gonna ask for a urinalysis at least at my appt.

 

Thanks again for your info and I think this is a GREAT example of why we shouldn't always be quick to chalk up physical issues to WD. We should only come to that conclusion after anything else has been ruled out. Although, I know it's a slippery slope because there are so many in WD convinced they are dying of some undiagnosed disease when it really is just WD so I guess I should say explore other possibilities but within reason. :)

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Also, are you feeling any better since starting the antibiotics?

a.k.a JMarie

Paxil since Mar.1998

2006-2007:40-20mg
2009: 20mg to 14mg 2010: 14mg to 10.5mg 2011: 10.5 to 7.6mg  2012: 7.5 to 6.8mg

2013: 6.7-6.3mg 2014: 6.2mg-5.8mg 2015: 5.7 to 5.15mg 2016: 5.1-4.6mg

1/19/17: 4.5mg 3/17/17: 4.4mg

6/15/17: 4.35mg 8/10/17: 4.3mg

1/29/18: 4.1mg 5/07/18: 4.0mg

7/31/18: 3.9mg

 

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Wow it really sounds like you might have it too! Especially the traces of blood, that's exactly what I had. I had burning as well (which I forgot to list because it went away just before I got pgad), it seemed to come in stages so it was so hard to relate them all. I'm not sure how normal that is but my guess is that my body has just been trying to fight it for so long. Maybe you should talk to your doctors again and try some antibiotics? Especially before it gets too bad. But yep doctors are completely useless!

 

And I've been worse on the antibiotics (the pgad has mostly gone away though, its more like a bruised feeling now, not tingly/aroused which I'm feeling all around the infected area anyway - so definitely related!) but that is actually a sign its working - so long as I don't get a fever again which I haven't. It's my last day today, it takes about 2 weeks for you to recover and feel normal again so I'll just have to see by then.

 

And yeah I am actually still wondering if the pgad was atleast 99% in my head because it seemed to go away every time I had reassurance. Or maybe the stress was just straining my kidney/infection more? Who knows. I really that hope yours just turns out to be a mild infection or anxiety! X

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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Oh and for some reason you'll never find this online (without seeing it as being an STI or deadly disease or something lol) but thrush causes tingling too (even in the whole peeing area). I never had it before until the antibiotics. It hurt at first but once I started treating it with a thrush pill it just starts tingling but it does go away. :) Everyone I know who has suffered from thrush says they had tingling too so it is normal if you do. It doesn't always cause discharge either. So just something else for you to consider. :)

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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  • 7 months later...

I've had anxiety about PGAD for so long it's unbelievable, the fear itself has ruined my life, I even started getting phantom/psychosomatic symptoms for a few months but they went after finally convincing myself they weren't real. Somewhere around this time, I upped my dose of Citolapram back to 20mg, now I'm getting real geniuine PGAD feelings it's absolutely horrible. It's worse on my period, for some reason antibiotics have helped tremendously with getting rid of the symptoms but they come right back next period. I've found I got some triggers and I'm wondering if it's a vien problem or not. It's mostly in my urethra tube from the beginning of it to the end. I feel it all over that area, even my clit which makes it worse. It's a mix of arousal and a strong itching feeling.

 

Triggers are weird because they don't ALWAYS trigger it but they do sometimes. Wiping and sitting on something hard seems to be the only things I think could possibly trigger/make it worse and definitely my period. Walking and anything else is completely fine..

 

Should I come off antidepressants?? Please someone help. :(

Edited by scallywag
merged from new topic started in Symptoms forum

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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Hi RBVDK, 

Have a look at PGAD topic and it is best to post your story in introduction so that everyone can see it,  if you have not done that already. 

Rest assured that you will heal.  It is obvious that Citolaraplam is giving you PGAD symptoms.  I personally  would not continue taking it.  But at the same time,  you can't quit cold turkey.  I am not a moderator, best wait for them to respond.  I got PGAD from Zoloft almost 4 years ago.  I know how you feel.  I had to stop taking it, because I had a bad reaction from it. 

You will heal and PGAD won't stay around for ever. 

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Hi Hopefull, it was actually in another separate post but they merged it with this one for some reason lol. 

I definitely want to stop them but have no idea how. :( I'm so glad yours went away! I'm hoping mine is actually a kidney stone because I had bad kidney pain for a a week before it started, which moved down to my bladder and now I'm getting all this in my urethra. Periods swell all that area so it could make sense why it's worse then and also why antibiotics help since it can cause UTIs. I've noticed my pee flow is slower since all this and there's always alittle bit more that needs to come out but can't. I've read some people do get PGAD with kidney stones too. Caffeine made mine feel absolutely horrible the next day too which is a typical trigger for UTIs. So I'm very hopeful but still very scared that it is being caused by something else/ADs.

 

Anyway thank you so much for your reply. My symptoms have pretty much gone for now as I've just finished a weeks course of antibiotics again. I'll probably be back next month worrying again lol.

Thanks again!

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Rbvdk: PGAD/PSSD or OCD?
  • 7 months later...

Hi! So I've been on 20mg of citolapram for about a year and am now withdrawing from them because of my huge fear of developing PGAD. I've been taking 5mg off every month. I'm now on my final dose (5mg). I'm very very very prone to psychosomatic symptoms (first it was sickness every day for 2 years, then a mild version of pgad for a few months, then an even stronger one for a year. It took alot of convincing with all them to go away but new symptoms always replace them soon after.) and of cause with my paranoia, I'm getting some pgad symptoms again while withdrawing.. It goes away when I'm distracted and with reassurance, it usually comes when I'm not doing anything or sometimes with stress. 

 

If I could have some reassurance that I'm going off them too slow to develop pgad or too early and maybe some success stories with people who have gone off them at the rate I have (I know you can go alot slower but at the same time I wanted to get off them asap they were ruining my life) it would help alot. I need as much reassurance and positivity right now to mask the anxiety thoughts. :)

 

My withdrawals symptoms now are the usual, head shocks, motion sickness, anxiety and depression. I didn't get any at all this whole time until I moved on from 10mg to 5mg. I think they're gone now and it's been just less than a week. I have a bad cold with a migraine atm so it's hard to tell what's that and what's the withdrawals. And yeah the pgad sensations which are still here. :( thanks for any comments! :)

 

(Ps, my old posts were the psychosomatic symptoms) :)

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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Dear Rbvdk, Thanks for sending me your thoughts. Wishing you the best outcome as you go through this difficult time of withdrawal from your meds. It's a long and lonely process, with a great deal of suffering that goes along with it. I hadn't heard of pgad and have no idea how many suffer from such a problem. 

 

The good news is that you've joined this group and can get support online. I had been searching for weeks to find a good place to air my anxieties and put my facts and thoughts on record. It feels right to be here and I'm thankful for the many comments and new personal encouragement. It's only been a few days since joining.

 

As I type I sit propped up in bed resting on a bunch of pillows while my fingers type and my body aches and throbs, inside my head currents dance and zip-zap and I wildly wonder when my body will be free of pain. I know I have to keep moving physically and push through, but today the wind howls and a cold spring rain smacks at my windows.

 

I have a few decisions to make after reading and receiving tried and true advice and I'm leaning to starting again. From what I understand that means going back on the regular dosage, stabilizing and then start to eliminate beads from the caplets in a slow and steady manner. Makes sense. Having gone now both cold turkey last summer from 37.5 Effexor (it was agony until I had had enough), and now trying the every second-day method (on the advice of my psychiatrist), I'm leaning to go back on the regular dose, get balanced then do the bead elimination. 

 

 So far I'm disappointed in the 'system' as so many are. It was only last week I saw my 'shrink' who was surprised to know I was having such symptoms of withdrawal. She didn't seem to have a clue about withdrawal problems that didn't fit into her textbook definitions. She and I will not be meeting again unless I feel I am in dire need ... and that won't happen. It's sad that the support from 'the learned psychiatric practitioners' is limited to a small percentage who truly care about this epidemic of overmedication and down the rabbit hole legal drug pushing

 

I won't go on much longer. It was good of you to connect. It's good to type out thoughts that are understood. My family stands by, but I think are getting fed up with Mother's aches and pains. 

 

My goal is to release myself from Effexor by September 2018 or if that doesn't work Christmas. I want to try living without a psychiatric drug. To experience the world without uptake and alterations with a body and mind that are truly mine.

 

All the best.  I know it's overused and sounds trite, but keep positive as best you can. Be patient with yourself and work hard at calming your thoughts one little alteration at a time. Sometimes I want to flick the bird when I hear such advice. The thing is, it's sound, meaningful and worthwhile when you truly think about it. It's that 'glass full/glass empty' adage. Take good care.

 

I'm reading Robert Whitaker's book, Anatomy of An Epidemic that I picked up at the library. A bit tedious but so far worthwhile.

Current Medication: 

  • Effexor 37.5  every second day beginning March 1, 2018
  • Teva-Venlafaxine XR...low dose for Thyroid
  • Estrace HRT;  Eltroxin 0.05 mg; 
  •  Symbicort Turbo Inhaler 2 puffs daily for Asthma (collapsed lower right lung) and prone to bronchitis and pneumonia.
  • Recently discovered I have gallstones via general health check-up ultrasound. No painful symptoms to date probably due to a good diet.  Gallstones can occur due to hormone replacement medication. In my case...who knows?
  • Current Symptoms: 
  • Chronic fatigue; aching muscles, joint stiffness, tingling and hot sensation in limbs,
  • unsteady on my feet (have fallen three times in three months)
  • isolating,
  • slight social anxiety, lack of motivation

My Plan:  Keeping track of daily medications in a pocket calendar and making notes. 

Hot baths help...will add Epson salts.  I take Aleve and two Extra Strength Tylenol at night to help with the pain at this point.

Work at a sticking to a daily routine: Up at set time; go for walk; swim twice a week; journal daily in the morning.

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  • Altostrata changed the title to Rbvdk Need reassurance
  • Administrator

Charmartra, please see responses in your Intro topic here http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/17576-charmartra-thankful-for-small-mercies/?tab=comments#comment-345532

 

9 hours ago, Rbvdk said:

My withdrawals symptoms now are the usual, head shocks, motion sickness, anxiety and depression. I didn't get any at all this whole time until I moved on from 10mg to 5mg. I think they're gone now and it's been just less than a week.

 

Rbvdk, you have been tapering pretty fast, the withdrawal symptoms you had along the way prove it. If I were you, I'd stop tapering for a good while, maybe 3 months, and let your nervous system settle down.

 

It is possible any symptoms of PGAD will start to fade, your system hasn't caught up with the drug changes yet.

 

Please stop worrying, this is causing you to make poorly thought-out decisions. There's nothing to be gained by rushing your taper.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thank you both very much for the comments:) and thank you for the advice, so I'll stick to 5mg for 3 months?

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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  • Administrator

At least 3 months.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 1 month later...

Hi! I'm not sure how to change my signature on my phone and I'm not sure what info it has atm so I'll write it here quick because my laptop isnt working atm so I have no way of changing the sig :(

- After 3 months of coming off citalapram cold turkey I went back on 5mg on ?/12/2016

- I eventually went to 10mg (took a few months)

- then I also wanted a few months to go to 20mg

- been on 20mg for just about or less than a year

- came off them 8.01.2018 (5mg off every month, then 2.5mg for an extra week)

- 19.04.18 - 0mg

 

Now the past 2 weeks I've been getting a feeling after I pee where it feels like there's pee stuck in my urethra (which either lasts till I pee again and the feeling continues - Or sometimes I don't feel it at all). Is this a normal withdrawal symptom? Will it go away? Could it be a Mild UTI? I heard that AD withdrawals can cause UTIs. I've only ever had 2 UTIs before but they were both very painful with blood but also had this same symptom I'm feeling (only in my bladder also). I'm not get any other withdrawal symptoms at all besides extreme anxiety that this is something serious (like IC) and also mild head zaps/shocks just for the first 30min-1hour after waking up in the morning.

 

Thanks for reading :)

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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  • Administrator

Rb, I moved your post here to your existing Introductions topic. From this thread, I see you've had UTIs and other genital symptoms.

 

You can have a UTI with very mild symptoms. I suggest you get this checked out before the infection gets worse. It doesn't sound like a withdrawal symptom.

 

What happened to the citalopram? How long have you had these zaps in the morning?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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That's no problem thank you! :) thanks for your reply too, I guess I'll just try to drink lots more, take some cranberry pills and try to relax. I'll go the Dr if it gets worse. I just hope it is just a UTI or maybe anxiety tension, I do only notice it when I focus on it. My anxiety is bad and i assume the worst (nerve damage etc).. Thankfully no PGAD though (yet?) Which is my biggest fear but I am hoping I've done it slow enough not to get it. :)

 

I've had all day zaps/shocks since going down to 5mg (none before surprisingly) they faded almost completely by time the next month, then I lowered to 2.5mg for a week and then finally 0 (19th of may). Since lowering it to 2.5mg I've had the zaps ever since but it was only the first week or 2 that they were occurrng all day. Now I'm only getting them very midly and just in the morning so it's definitely fading again. :) (not every morning though! I'd just say about 30-40% of mornings) :D

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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Just an update.. I

went to the doctors yesterday and she tested my urine and temperature and told me I had a UTI. Only problem is I've been googling UTI symptoms during withdrawals and I've found posts of people who have developed central nerve damage and PGAD?! Now I'm starting to feel almost constant PGAD in my clit, I'm freaking out!! :( My pee hole feels weird too, like an ache which also spreads to my clit. Do I have PGAD now? I'm so scared! :(

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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Sorry for double posting but I can't seem to find the edit button.. soon after I wrote the last post, the pgad stopped, but now I just have a horrible ache/heavy/oversensitive clit (and sometimes pee hole) I'm actually going crazy with panic right now, am I going to get pgad??? Sick of these panic attacks! :(

16.4.14 - 25.4.15 Took Paxil (??mg) - cold turkey. Had random pgad symptoms around this time but not sure when exactly.

?.5.14: Started Citalopram (10mg) / 17.5.14: Quickly upped to 20mg  / 9?.15: upped to 30mg. 

8.16: Tapered off Citalopram in less than 2 weeks / 9.16: straight back on 20mg for just a week then stopped cold turkey. 11.16 Very mild pgad, PN symptoms and other withdrawals started.

7.12.16: Took Amitriptyline 10mg for just 2 days then stopped cold turkey.

14.12.16: reinstated 5mg of Citalopram / 1?.16: 10mg Citalopram / ?.16: 20mg Citalopram. 3.17 (6 months since withdrawing) pgad hit.

8.2.18: 15mg Citalopram / 8.3.18: 10mg / 8.4.18: 5mg / 12?.5.18: 2.5mg / 19.5.18: 0mg. pgad worsened almost instantly from first tapper, all sorts of PN symptoms, earworm, tinnitus, other things, coming and going until late 9.18 (4 months since 0mg) where it all got SO MUCH worse for 1.11 years (with windows and waves).

1.9.20: 99% healed ❤️

31.5.21: Smoked weed 5 out of 9 days. Pgad and other old withdrawals came back, plus developed akathesia & fibromyalgia.

7.22: Steadily recovering again ❤

2.23: Acute withdrawals coming back, no apparent reason.

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