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Waiting12: needing advice


Waiting12

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This situation is so crazy. I went on to have a another symptom free window last night. Slept like 9 hours. I'm on the tail end of it. I go from feeling so so bad to feeling normal and relieved. I took your advice Dez and wrote all the good things I felt during it. It will carry me through this.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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I'm so glad you had a window! The positive times will definitely help you through this. I had a similar situation last night. I had a significant mood drop and got depressed. Later that night I felt my artistic creativity come back and felt normal. Even slept for a long time in the first time in ages!

 

It's a very weird situation but we'll get through it. Keep strong and enjoy these good times! One day they will never end!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

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Yay for both of us! :P Our brains are going to get it right! Even though I'm not feeling good today it isn't unbearable. Its somewhere between a window and a wave. Maybe this is what I have been seeing people call 'baseline'. Who knows, it all changes so fast. My window was so funny last night while I was going to sleep I was thinking about all my favorite foods and how delicious they are. I haven't enjoyed food at all for months so that is a good sign i think. Today again no appetite but at least my brain is trying. I could also remember really positive past memories and felt the joy connected with them. Like summer time bon fires/ fourwheeling/ laying in the sun etc.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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Wow, Waiting! I think that's a good breakthrough! The clouds have parted a little during your storm! It'll definitely get better, once your brain gets everything organized and situated where it needs to go. I hope that you'll get more windows soon and longer lasting ones at that!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

Ive been doing the rollercoaster. Had about 4 days of terrible depression and crying. Saturday night my mood lifted but i seem to be stuck with this awful withdrawal OCD type thinking. I never had anything like this before the bad reactions at all. Its like my fear tries to attach itself to things that aren't actually scary. Intrusive thoughts hitting me from all angles. I know it will pass in time but its hard to cope with for now. Also this morning got some bad news that my brother has been put in jail. My stress level went through the roof. Intrusive thoughts, panic attack feelings, fast pulse. Now i feel like i can't relax and am just ruminating on all the stress. My CNS definitely took a hit this morning. Any words of wisdom how to deal with real life stress on top of how WD makes you feel? I know certain life stressors are inevitable and well basically stuff happens. I feel like the negative anxious thinking queen over here. 

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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So sorry about your brother and can understand why this is causing you stress.

 

I haven't read your thread but have you got any relaxing/coping techniques that you have tried that might help? I do progressive muscle relaxation which I find a great help to relax my body and mind. Also mindfulness but that takes a bit of practice!

 

Hope these suggestions might help you.

 

Hugs

 

Flowers xxx

15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM.  MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct  temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT.  JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month.  28.5 mgs 
FEB  Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs .  JUNE 24 mgs .  JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to  22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed.  13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize  1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at  50 mgs at night.  Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and  Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. 

XANAX  Jan 27  - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover.   Feb 14 2019  Updosed Xanax by .0625  Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily.  Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. 

Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM  20mg  taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE  .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm.  XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night.  LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight.  SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm.   7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm.  2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19  .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg  x 2. 23.1.20  .23 mg x 2.  20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20  .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2.  18.6.20 .11mg  x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2.  2.12.20 .06 mg x 2.  8.1.21 .05 mg x 2.  4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2.  7.4.21  .02 mg x 2.  9.5.21 .01 mg x 2.  21.6.21 .01 mg x 1.  11.8.21 ZERO!

 

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Hello, Waiting.

 

I'm sorry what happened with your brother is going on on top of all this. Try to keep in mind he may be in jail, but whatever happened with him, he seems to be okay. Then take a deep breath from your belly and try to think of some good things lately despite the bad. It seems tough but you'll discover there are still good things in the world, too.

 

I'm having a rough time as well, sweetheart. Depressive thoughts and feelings, pounding heart that keeps me awake, anxiety, and nightmares. It's so hard dealing with all these withdrawals. Sometimes you start thinking will I ever get out of this? Will any of this get better? And some days you might even think am I going to die?

 

But remember, this will all pass. Windows will come. Better days are ahead of you and you will experience them eventually. Despite all the pain and madness, you're body is still functioning. In the end, once your brain heals, everything will be alright. It's normal to think and feel horrible during this, who wouldn't? The strongest person can even be brought to their knees, but you know something hon? They get right back up. You will too! Hang in there and stay strong! One day that weight of the world will be lifted and you'll feel so light you'll know you can fly!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

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Thank you, Flowers, for reaching out.

The progressive muscle relaxation really helps me to get to sleep most nights. I don't know why i never thought about doing it during the day time. Duh! Mindfulness has been hard as my anxieties distract me so much, although I continue to try despite this.

 

Thanks too, Dez. He was put in for drinking and driving. This is nothing new. I think this is his 3rd time. It bothered me before and of course I would worry about him but in this sensitized state it hit me like a ton of bricks. I worry about his future now & how my parents will handle this after having to put up with my situation. Also, intrusive thoughts came barreling at me about how awful it would be to be in jail and i got panicky. I was literally like WTF are these thoughts? Where did this come from? Just have to keep reminding myself it is WD and that im not losing it. Then i go into reassurance mode and read about OCD and how intrusive thoughts are normal/they don't mean anything to calm myself. This is so not who i am.

 

I'm sorry you are having a tough time. You are such a sweet person & i know you will make it through this. I hope things really excel for us soon. I have had all those thoughts too. Sometimes when i get the physical symptoms along with the anxiety or depression I say i didn't even know it was possible for a person to feel this bad. It always passes though. Sometimes after an hour sometimes its a day or more. But it always goes. Thank you for always being encouraging. I don't know what I would do without you and this site. My mood has been OK since Saturday night but it was real ugly before that with crying spells. I know the depression will come back but i pray it will be lighter. One day this will all be behind us.

 

I am also wondering if I have had such a bumpy road because my pdoc gave me ativan in November and told me to take it 4 times a day. Seriously?! Of course i didn't do that and i never took it continuously which is why I never even thought about it. I looked yesterday out of curiosity and I took it 12 times (6 0.5mg pills total but cut in half each time) within about 5 weeks. I don't know if that is enough time to have my brain go out of wack from that too? I hope I didn't add another WD on top of a WD. I'm sure it didn't help things. Oh our poor brains.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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I know that family can definitely make it harder on us during this time. Perhaps a long talk is in order with your brother, but for a later day. Try to focus more on this day. It seems that you're doing better with self talk and that's progress right there! You should be so proud of that!

 

You're also quite welcome for the encouragement! I've noticed that helping others makes me feel useful during this time, as it seems I can't do much else. I'm able to support others more than myself! But in a way, it's encouraging in and of it's own and makes the brain think positively.

 

The other pills probably didn't help in this situation, but it shouldn't be too bad I don't think. The longer you're on something the worse it seems. I was on the Effexor XR only two days and had such bad reactions to it. I haven't been that bad since it got out of my system.

 

Yes, our poor brains!!! Working over time to try to fix themselves! But they can do it. We just have to baby them. Want to laugh? Look in a mirror and talk in baby speak to your brain. Just make sure you do it when no one is around! :D

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

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Ha! that's a good one. It seems like whatever side effects I got from the meds stayed with me. They come in and out with the waves and windows. Well today triggered a panic wave I had to go get him from jail. He has a long road ahead of him, but thats on him not me. Then I drove him 30 miles to my parents and came home again. Oh my goodness the panic was high. I stopped and talked to my mom at work on the way back and the DP/DR kicked in, full panic/feeling of doom mode. Its still here and im just waiting for it to pass but holy crap. Idk why but when that all kicks in a feel a sense of being disconnected with poor concentration and that makes me panic worse because it makes me feel crazy! I just have been telling myself anyone would have been stressed out today and that its just worse for me being in a sensitized state. 

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment

Try having a hot cup of herbal tea, or soak in the tub. Even listen to some relaxing music. Remember, it'll pass. It's probably bad right now because of everything going on recently. Try your best to relax and remind yourself that it will get better. Hang in there!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

I was thinking I should do end of the month updates for myself to look back on & hopefully in the future I will see progress from month to month. January was hell im not going to lie. I had terrifying waves and feel like im living in my own nightmare. I have also been timing my windows. I am 81 days since my last bad reaction to an SSRI. I have noticed this month that usually i feel better in the late evening and around bedtime.

 

December 2016- 3.5 hours total windows

January 2017- 60 hours total windows (13 hours being symptom free)

 

My symptoms:

 

Intrusive thoughts- still here. This is my worst symptom. They are changing themes now though. It seems like my neuro-fear is trying to 'attach' itself to things/thoughts to be scared of. It is hell. They are gone in my windows. Even if i make myself think of one in my window they mean nothing to me, there is no fear, but why would there be I know im not afraid of these things. Its my brain misfiring.

 

Unbelievable anxiety- still here. Can range from hours of pure panic to moderate anxiety.

 

insomnia- much better most nights. I can usually sleep around 7 hours. A few nights a week I will wake up a lot during the night with panic. Every morning I seem to wake with either panic or dread. Still can't nap during the day.

 

Poor Concentration- slightly improving

 

no appetite & GI problems- Still here. Still making myself eat and logging calories trying not to lose any more weight.

 

muscle tremors and twitches- Improving.

 

dizziness- Comes and goes.

 

Anhedonia, feeling disconnected from others- still here. Severe in some waves/ Completely gone in some windows.

 

Vision issues, dim vision, sparkles, black spots, floaters- comes and goes.

 

DP/DR- Only severe during panics, mild-moderate other times.

 

Depression/Crying- Comes and goes. Severe in waves.

 

Feelings that this is permanent- Mostly here. Goes during windows.

 

Ruminating- Still here.

 

No interest/ Motivation/ Fatigue/ Feel weak- Still here.

 

Feelings of doom- Comes and goes. Mostly here.

 

Terrible memory- Improving

 

Sensitivity to Stimuli- A little worse, Can't watch TV 90% of time, music etc.

 

Tachycardia, Breathlessness- Comes and goes.

 

No libido- Still here.

 

General feelings of Confusion- Slightly improving.

 

Agoraphobia- Still here. I still make myself get out, shop for the necessities, out to eat a few times, go to friends/family etc but not for long periods of time.

 

Awkward social Interaction- Same. I feel i have to fake my way through conversations & hard to concentrate on the subject.

 

Tinnitus- Comes and goes, Mostly present.

 

Sweaty hands & feet- Still here. Skin peeling now.

 

Fear of going crazy- Still here. I researched that this is a common symptom of panic attacks.

 

Akathisia- Comes and goes in waves. Seems that it comes during PMS week & talking on the phone. Mostly gone but is absolutely awful when its here.

 

Hot or cold Body temperature- comes and goes

 

Flu like feelings- come and go

 

Poor circulation in toes- Mostly gone

 

 

 

New symptoms that have showed up:

 

Mind chatter- Goes during windows

Acne on face, neck and back

Itching

Brain dreaming while still awake when trying to fall asleep- has happened 3 or 4 times

OCD type anxiety- Im not sure if this is WD symptom but I can pretty much only think about withdrawal and spend a lot of time researching for reassurance that I WILL get better. This goes with poor concentration. It is hard to distract myself from my anxiety.

 

 

Well thats January. Hopefully things look up soon.

Healing thoughts and wishes to us all.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment

This is a very good idea, Waiting. I look forward to seeing your monthly updates!!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

Ok guys, I need words of wisdom. I am so panicky today. I have a dentist appointment tomorrow to look at a wisdom tooth that is half showing. It is also having some discharge when i push on it. It doesn't hurt but i am scared. I am scared of the meds at the dentist. I am scared that i need antibiotics. I am scared of the pain and recovery while going through withdrawal. I am SO scared. Any chance all will be well? Will this make me worse?

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment

I honestly can't say since I don't know how sensitive you are. I've been able to take cold medicine and benadryl and be fine. Perhaps you should talk to your dentist when they figure out what's going on and see if there are any homeopathic treatments if it comes down to that. Swishing salt water? Anything. That being said it may not even be an infection, just stuff happening because it's coming in. In almost 26 and still have wisdom teeth coming in!

 

Try not to over think the situation. Remember, doctors of all kinds are open to questions. Ask them, that's their job. It's possible there's a solution that we didn't know that they might. But we don't know what it is yet, so hang in there until then if you can.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

Thanks dez,

I'm pretty certain i need it removed. It is coming in horizontal. I hope I can ask for a local anesthetic and not need to go under general. That would really freak me out. Ive heard of people with anxiety having bad reactions to even the local anesthetics. You are right I wont know all the details until i get the xrays done. My mind goes into catastrophe mode thinking im going to get worse and not be able to cope. I just couldn't stand to have the thoughts/anxiety or anything get worse.

 

I don't know how sensitive i am either. I took a couple benadryl in late December and i was fine. I'm just so scared of medicine after how many bad reactions ive had. I know i cant tolerate any ADs, buspar, xanax, albuterol, or caffiene. Ativan didn't seem to do much of anything. Its hit and miss. Ugh I want my life back.

 

Why are we told to avoid antibiotics anyways?

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment

I know it's bad, Waiting. It can be miserable. I had a good day yesterday then my mother stressed me and my sister out. I had trouble getting to sleep then woke with an anxiety attack with less than four hours of sleep. Had a crying spell and desperately want a nap. It's amazing that meds can cause so many issues for so long.

 

I'm not sure why we can't take antibiotics. It might be because our systems are so sensitive and antibiotics can be strong meds. It might send our systems into overdrive but I'm not sure. Hopefully someone else can answer that, I'm curious to know as well. I do hope everything works out for you. Please keep me updated on everything! I'll be praying for you!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment

Im glad you had a partially good day yesterday at least! Sucks it kind of went downhill though. I too woke in a panic and couldn't get back to sleep. I've been up since very early. I'll keep you updated on what my dentist says tomorrow. Lord help me stay as calm as I can. My pulse was through the roof even calling for the appointment. :blink:  I've been putting it off since August thinking I could wait until I got better, but now I see that 'getting better' is going to be a long road. I think I'll ask in the symptoms and self care section about the antibiotics.

 

A lot of this is my own anxiety its just the wd that isn't letting me calm down or forget about it. Thanks for being such a good friend!

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment

You're very welcome! One day these withdrawal symptoms will feel like a dream (or a nightmare!) And fade into the distance.

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Some people find Dr. Claire Weekes's techniques helpful in dealing with anxiety and panic:
The Dr. Claire Weekes Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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Thanks Scallywag. I try my best, but it seems with this chemical anxiety not many coping mechanisms work yet. Maybe I just need more time as she says.

 

I went to the dentist and don't need my wisdom teeth pulled as of now. I do need to take an antibiotic 3 times a day for the next 10 days though. Hope it doesn't make anything worse.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment

Please keep me posted, Waiting!!! I'll be praying that everything goes smoothly for you. Hang in there, girl, stay strong!! You can do this!!!

- 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg (no issues, did well)
- Mid 2012 Switched to Celexa 20mg (no issues with switch)
- 6/16 Stopped Celexa (always took med once every other day, tapered to once every three days for about a week and a half, took one a week for one week, no problems)
- 10/20/16 Started Celexa 20mg (next day had panic attacks, stopped after three days, kept having panic attacks and anxiety rest of the month)
- 10/28/16 Started Paxil 20mg (took for almost a week, had suicidal thoughts/severe derealization, tapered off to one every other day for a few days)
- 12/8/16 Buspirone 5mg twice daily (felt drowsy but kept anxiety under wraps, still taking it)
- 12/27/16 Venlafaxine XR 37.5mg (took two days, migraine first day, headache all day second day, third day had severe depression/outbursts of crying, couldn't stop most of the day, bad invasive thoughts, never took third dose because of it)
- 1/7/17 taper Buspirone 20% (miscalculation but doing well), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month to almost half each pill

- 2/3/17 taper Buspirone 2.5mg twice daily (did fine, listened to body), gradually slivered off tablet throughout month

 

* Aromatherapy 100% oils in diffuser every night *

* Morning stretching routine every day *

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...
  • Mentor

just read thru your thread Waiting, so sorry for all that you've been thru

 

you have a great attitude, in spite of it all.  I hope you are well and can check in soon!

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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just read thru your thread Waiting, so sorry for all that you've been thru

 

you have a great attitude, in spite of it all.  I hope you are well and can check in soon!

 

Thank you, Catnapt, for your support. I hope you are doing well.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment

End of the month update again. I really can't believe it is March tomorrow. I am now 109 days since my last adverse reaction to an SSRI and 77 days since Ive taken anything.

 

February was easier than January. These last couple weeks have been hard again though. This month I had to take antibiotics for an infection. I took amoxicillin for 21 days. That ended up messing up my menstrual cycle so I went through pms twice. Pms is the worst for me through this withdrawal. I am still in Pms mode today as i write this but hopeful my time of the month will come soon as i have been spotting. My cycle is 10 days late (not pregnant either). I am unsure if my progress this month was from the antibiotics or if it was real progress. The infection didn't completely go away so i tried a stronger kind of antibiotic yesterday and it made my skin burn so I had to quit taking it. My dentist wont give me anymore antibiotics so i have to have the wisdom tooth pulled, go to the clinic for different antibiotics, or keep doing my homecare in hopes that it will clear up. Im so sensitive to meds im not sure what to do at this point.

 

Also, as i write this in a nasty wave it is hard for me to recall how good the earlier weeks were. But, i know they were. I had friends overnight, we played games and laughed, my sleeping was good for awhile, i read a novel, i ate a lot more, I played my guitar a couple times, I started renovating a room upstairs (a hobby of mine that i haven't done since last summer). Then it all went downhill again and the panic and fear took back over. Luckily, I still counted my windows so I can actually 'see' the progress on paper when im feeling this down. Very few of the windows this month were "symptom free" but they were good enough to be able to focus on other things and have some interest back. (other than how bad i feel & withdrawal).

 

 

December 2016- 3.5 hours total windows

January 2017- 60 hours total windows (13 hours being symptom free)

February 2017- 189 hours total

 

My symptoms:

 

Intrusive thoughts- still here. My worst symptom. I have had a couple days where I don't have hardly any at all. I even had a day of full anxiety withOUT the intrusive thoughts. I think this is a good sign.

 

Unbelievable anxiety- still here. Can range from hours of pure panic to moderate-mild anxiety. Usually it is at its worst from 11am to 3-5 pm. Not always though, this week its bad right upon waking up.

 

insomnia- improving. I have usually been sleeping in later than before. I always wake up at 7 am, but have been able to go back to sleep til around 10 most days. I had one bad night where I couldn't sleep at all but it was due to a life stress. I have nights where i wake up a lot still but i am able to fall back asleep faster. Still wake up with dread feeling most days. I  even was able to nap in the daytime twice this last month even though they were very short naps.

 

Poor Concentration- slightly improving still.

 

no appetite & GI problems- Slightly improving. I'm usually not hungry, but eating isn't as hard as before.

 

muscle tremors and twitches- Nearly gone. Only noticed them a handful of days.

 

dizziness/balance issues- improving still. I haven't felt the rocking feeling all month, still a bit unsteady.

 

Anhedonia, feeling disconnected from others- Improving.

 

Vision issues, dim vision, sparkles, black spots, floaters- Nearly gone. Floaters still remain.

 

DP/DR- Improving.

 

Depression/Crying- Improving. I only cried this month during the pms waves. Still feel down a majority of the time. This is huge, i used to cry nearly every day.

 

Feelings that this is permanent- during waves

 

Ruminating- during waves

 

No interest/ Motivation/ Fatigue/ Feel weak- Still here

 

Feelings of doom- improving. The last few days it has been back.

 

Terrible memory- Improving

 

Sensitivity to Stimuli- A little worse, Can't watch TV 90% of time, music etc. I feel very sensitive to negativity and stress. I don't understand it, but still have had trouble filling up my day. I can't wait for the day I am able to watch TV again. If anyone has any tips on activities that are low stimulus, please let me know.

 

Tachycardia, Breathlessness- improving overall but here during waves

 

No libido- improving!! (I have had libido issues since 2010 when i started SSRIs, then completely nonexistent after all the bad reactions)

 

General feelings of Confusion- Pretty much gone.

 

Agoraphobia- Still here. I still make myself get out, shop for the necessities, out to eat a few times, go visit family etc but not for long periods of time. Somedays its not so bad, other days i cry on the way home because it was so hard. I drove and visited a friend 75 miles away when i was feeling well in the beginning of the month. Yesterday just running to the pharmacy was a nightmare. I don't get it.

 

Awkward social Interaction- improving

 

Tinnitus- Still here.

 

Sweating- Still here. Mostly feet.

 

Fear of going crazy- Still here. I researched that this is a common symptom of panic attacks, adds to the fear of losing control.

 

Akathisia- Gone all month until pms wave. Seems that it comes during PMS week & talking on the phone. Mostly gone but is absolutely awful when its here.

 

Hot or cold Body temperature- come and go

 

Flu like feelings- come and go.

 

Poor circulation in toes- comes and goes when im cold

 

Mind chatter- Much improvement. Comes back during a wave.

 

Acne on face, neck and back- still here

 

Itching- improving

 

Brain dreaming while still awake when trying to fall asleep- still here

 

OCD type anxiety- mostly gone all month until a couple days ago. Its mostly just looking for reassurance that things will get better.

 

 

New symptoms that have showed up:

 

Inner vibrations- I had this symptom way back in July when I tried to restart zoloft and had my first bad reaction. I was surprised when it came back as it has been so long. It has only happened 2 or 3 times upon waking up and goes away after a few minutes.

 

Anger/annoyed feeling- this has only happened 2 times since november. It passed after an hour or so and turned into frustration, then crying. 

 

That was February. Started off surprisingly well. Better than i've felt for months and ended in a small wave followed by a nightmare wave. I am hoping after I get my time of the month I will be back to feeling okay. Time will tell. Yesterday and Today I feel back at the unbearable square one but that can't be the case.

 

Healing prayers to you all.

We will heal from this.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Does anyone know if anything helps with the overwhelming nausea/headache/dizzy sea sickness feeling? It's like I could vomit any second but never do...

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment

well i can relate to what you are saying and i never took anything for it. I just went with the flow.

I would lie down and try to relax so i guess thats how i dealt with it.

Sometimes i felt like vomiting and didnt, sometimes i didnt feel like vomiting and suddenly did.

Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen

We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. 

URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting  for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing.

http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651   

Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos.

Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you

Recovering paxil addict

None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. 

This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! 

  "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped."  Dr Mosher. Me too! 

Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015

I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015

Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

One thing I find when I feel nauseous is that I shallow breathe.  It's like I'm in an alert state.  I don't breathe as deeply as I normally do.  When I realise that I am doing it, I do some slow deep breathing and find that the nauseous feeling reduces.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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Thank you both for the replies. It means a lot. I will try to just go with the flow and deep breathe. Like everything else this will pass. I hope you both are doing well.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I get some nausea usually in the am for a bit and drink ginger tea it seems to help

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
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hi Waiting,

 

I'm so sorry you went through so much trying out that many dangerous poisons by those so called doctors!

You are so strong surviving the most horrendous journey!

 

I'm so happy to hear you are improving in many of the horrible symptoms! Your strength will definitely take you to the other side of the hell and your young body will heel fully fast!

 

Keep the great work, streghth, and faith!

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Thanks Blondie, my mom even suggested that so there must be something to it!

 

Thanks Lex, your comment actually made me tear up a bit. I'm in a bit of an emotional wave & hearing someone tell me I'm strong when I feel so weak & scared is such a gift. Thank you! I really really hope to god you are right and one day I can put this nightmare behind me and get back to living a life.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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It's guaranteed waiting! I have full faith we all will get our lives back, as long as we don't give up. It takes extraordinary streghth and love to life which I see both in you! I went through both WD and reaction and know how much it takes to hang in.

 

Keep reminding yourself this will all pass and you will enjoy everything life offers in a larger magnitude after this experience. Reading success stories when feeling down always pulls me out and gives me streghth to continue.

 

Hugs,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Thank you so much for the kind words. I see you are almost through with tapering. Good for you! I hope you start feeling better soon!

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Time for another monthly update. I am 140 days since I've taken an SSRI and 108 days since I've taken any med to cope. March seemed to go by fast. This month was less up and down and more ‘stable’ I suppose. My windows haven’t been 100% for a while now, maybe 6 weeks. I miss those windows where I felt like myself though. They would provide me with renewed hope and joy. However, the bad has been less bad. In the beginning any time I wasn’t in a panic attack or crying spell it felt like pure relief. Now I seem to be in this yucky middle ground. My days have been so-so or bad this month but not unbearable or great. I’m not sure if this is a new ‘baseline’ or maybe a less intense longer wave or what but I’m ready for it to keep improving. Looking back 2 months I do see progress, it is just very slow. I can’t wait to feel like myself again, it has been so long.

 

I was really surprised this month when I didn’t get totally hit with unbearable PMS like the last 5 months. Once my cycle came on the 30th though I have felt much worse again. I have gained a few symptoms this month but I think other ones are (hopefully) fizzling out. I bought the book ‘recovery and renewal’ by Baylissa Frederick this month. It is comforting to see that my symptoms are all ‘normal’ and temporary.

 

My Symptoms

 

Anxiety Related:

*Mild to Severe Anxiety- It changes randomly, but it always seems to be constant at some level. I don't feel like im living in a constant panic attack anymore.
*Intrusive Thoughts- My worst symptom may be fizzling out. I had 2 weeks where I had very few of these. It has been back now and my god is it terrifying. Once this symptoms goes I will be a lot better off. I try to tell myself it is just my imagination coming back to life since I had zero imagination on the ADs. Yuck!
*Panic Attacks- Only had 2 severe attacks this month. Both took hours to subside.
*Organic Fear- Still around.
*Ruminating- Still around.
*Akathisia- Still around but very much improved. I think this may be fizzling out.
*Obsessive/Looping Thoughts- Still around.
*DP/DR- Seems worse this month. Although, when it does lift if feels like I'm seeing things for the first time. Weird.
*Feelings of Doom- Not as bad as before.
*Poor Concentration- Slowly getting better.
*Poor Memory- Still bad.
*Sensitivity to Stimulus/Stress- Still bad. Somedays I can watch TV, some days I can’t. Any minor stress can set my CNS off.
*Feelings of Confusion-Only once during a bad migraine.
*Agoraphobia- Still here, slowly improving. I have been getting out a bit more. I went to church this month! That was a huge step for me. I also went out to eat, grocery shopping & visiting family.
*Socially Awkward- I feel like I am, but I don’t think others notice.
*Fear of Going Crazy- Getting better.
*Mind Chatter- Not very often
*Feelings of Anger or Annoyance- None this month
*Difficulty Making Decisions- Still here.

 

 Depression Related:

*Anhedonia- Still here, this one sucks.
*Random Crying Spells- Large improvement. I think I only cried a handful of times this month. I used to cry all day.
*No Interest in Anything- Still here, this sucks too.
*No Motivation- Still here.
*Fatigue/Weakness- Still here. Possibly worse this month.
*Negative Thoughts- Still here.


 

Physical/ Other:

*Insomnia- So much better! Daylight savings screwed me up for a few weeks but I usually sleep 7-10 hours a night without waking up! I still can’t nap during the day no matter how tired I am.
*No Appetite- Still not very hungry, but it is easier to eat. I have quit logging calories and eating high calorie foods. Im not underweight anymore. It is nice not to stress about food.
*GI Problems- I didn’t notice much pain or discomfort this month, but bloating is still here. My stomach used to hurt terribly 24/7.
*Muscle Tremors/Twitches- Randomly off and on.
*Dizziness/Balance Issues- Worse this month.
*Seasick/Motion sick feelings- Much worse this month. Yuck.
*Head pressure-Worse this month
*Migraines- Ive had 2 migraines from being outside in the sun.
*Vision Issues- Occasional sparkles, black spots, floaters, wavy patches
*Tachycardia- gone this month!
*Breathlessness- Comes and goes randomly. Was pretty intense this month a few times.
*No Libido- Back down to zero this month.
*Tinnitus-Still here
*Sweating- Mostly from feet. Very often still but not constant like before.
*Problems Regulating Body Temperature- Hasn’t bothered me much this month.
*Flu-like Feelings-Occasional
*Poor Circulation in Toes-Occasional
*Itchy Skin- Still here
*Burning Skin- Not often & less severe
*Acne on Face, Neck and Back- Still here
*Brain dreaming while awake when falling asleep- Not every night anymore, but still often
*Inner vibrations- Upon waking for about a week this month
*Muscle Tension- still here
*Sun Sensitivity- This is a new one. I get terrible headaches when outside. Even if im out for 30-40 minutes with sunglasses. Also ramps up the motion sick feeling.
*Intrusive Memories- Still here.
*Other weird things like excess saliva/no ear wax- Still here.

 

I hope things start to fizzle out completely. It is my 25th birthday in 2 days. I hope that 25 is a bit nicer to me than 24 was. I was sick the entire year of being 24. This blows. Hopefully next month I'll be able to cross somethings off from this terribly long symptom list.

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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Hey Waiting

 

I had sent you a pm a while back as a fellow Minnesotan suffering from Zoloft wd. I was just reading down your list of current symptoms. I have almost all the same items on my wd wish (they were gone) list. thankfully, it sounds like you are doing a little better. of course, better in wd world is kind of a relative term. At times, it seems like mostly adjusting to a lower quality of life. I noticed that you have the same brain dreaming while awake thing that I have. it's one of my worst symptoms and they're called hypnagogic hallucinations. they drive me mad. it happens almost every time I lay down and try to sleep. this may sound weird, but I recently found out that a lot of my fatigue/brain fog/poor concentration and memory problems may have been related to intestinal worms. I have started taking wormwood capsules that I picked up on amazon for $10 and I passed a bunch of worms/eggs and it has helped greatly with my fatigue/brain fog. sounds totally nasty, but deworming myself has helped and may have been the cause of my years of anemia/low energy. anyways, I hope you are enjoying the early spring in MN and I just wanted to say "hi" again.

 

poetjester

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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