MaizeNblue81: Tapering Zoloft during severe acute Xanax WD

[maizeNblue81]

Yeah I don't think I have a choice. I have 3 daughters to think about and I've set here in complete misery since last May and it's not good for me or anyone else not to atleast try.

 

I've put in a few applications over the last few days but I'm not sure how that's gonna work out or even if I can handle a job right now and I hope to start working out soon but I'm really cares and nervous about both.

 

My brain is still so messed up physically and mentally and my body has taking a pretty big hit going through all this too so I'm just hoping something will work out and things will get better and I just have to try.

[JanCarol]

Hey Maize - trying is awesome, it's the beginning of healing!

 

Why not try for a month of workouts before applying for a job?  Or volunteer somewhere for 8 hours a week?  

 

I'm worried that if you try to "do it all at once," you will overdo too quickly.   Falling down again right now would be a huge blow to your self esteem.

 

It's frustrating, but as Chessie was saying, baby steps are better.

 

There are a lot of people in withdrawal who feel better at work - it gives them something to do, distracts them from symptoms, improves confidence, and gets you out of the house. 

 

Why don't you find out in a situation that won't harm your resume, and doesn't require loyalty and commitment  - like volunteer work?  Or temporary work?  I used to work a lot for Manpower and Kelly Services (back in my crazy days, when I was too unreliable for a "regular job.")  It paid the bills and got me a wide variety of experience - and I found companies I loved and companies i didn't love, and found a few more permanent jobs that way, too.

[maizeNblue81]

Ok yeah I'm looking around to see what my options are and I will let you know what I can find and see what my options are with work and what I can handle in the gym.

 

I've also been thinking about a second option for now and that's filing for temporary disability for now to give me some help and a little more time to heal.

[Happy2Heal]

hi Maize, just stopping by to see how you're doing, so glad to see that you've improved enough to consider working part time, that's wonderful

I don't doubt that you still feel pretty crappy but keeping yourself busy will help to distract you and also help you to heal faster.

 

I hope things just continue to improve for you!

you're healing!!

[maizeNblue81]

Well I don't know if I'm healing our not and it's still pretty bad and today for some reason the head pressure and fatigue has been pretty bad and I have slept most the day can't hardly left my head up and get out of bed between the head pressure and just no energy at all.

 

I'm on my second full week of switching to the liquid Zoloft to hopefully create a more consistent dose at 90mg and it seems to be ok atleast no worse than it was before.

 

Update on symptoms are:

 

Still the constant pressure numbness burning in my head which is the worst symptom by far and not much improvement in this area and I'm approaching 5 months now off so I don't understand why this is still so bad?

 

The other problematic symptoms still include fatigue, confusion, DP/DR, intrusive thoughts are all still a big part of it and it makes it still hard to function or do much of anything.

 

As far as work or going to the gym again I don't know if I'm healing I don't feel much better and the symptoms are still pretty bad but I've got to do something cause setting around here going crazy and smoking all the time isn't helpful at all and I'm trying to hold onto hope that maybe one day I'll get better but again after 5 months and still feeling this bad it's hard to do that.

[maizeNblue81]

Not trying to cause a alarm but for some reason the last two days have been an uptick in symptoms more than normal.

 

It had settled down or atleast calmed a little for about a week but the last two days I've been hit hard again.

 

I've been getting ok sleep but the head pressure numbness burning and physical pain has been really bad and extremely dizzy and nauseous can't hardly stand feel like I'm gonna pass out and the emotional symptoms have gone crazy I feel like I can't even control my brain the last few days more than normal so I haven't don't any different and I'm on day 13 of switching from the pill of Zoloft and the liquid at 90mg.

 

So I don't understand has my brain been permanently damaged is this ever gonna end?

[ChessieCat]

"It had settled down or at least calmed a little for about a week"

 

This is a really good sign!  It means that healing is happening.  Healing happens in stops and starts (at SA we call it windows and waves) and sometimes it feels like it has gone backwards.  It's important not to get caught up in the worsening of your symptoms because this adds stress which (I believe) diverts the brain away from healing.  Please check out the following:

 

Brain Remodelling

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

From:  What is Happening in Your Brain

 

"Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR streel structures are [...] to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were [...] to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and [...] to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while [...] is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made. 
And just like the Twin Towers- it's possible - but the buiding is a major effort -and it takes a good year or more sometimes.
(Now look at the new Tower that stands at Ground Zero!  It's taller, [...], and a symbol of freedom.  JUST like you will be!  )"

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

[AliG]

Maize.  It's most probably a wave. This is to be expected. Day 13 ?  It's a long road. For me it's been almost three years. I have had most of the symptoms you have experienced. It does get better.

 

Stay calm and carry on. Try and strive for just a little more each day.

Ali

[maizeNblue81]

Ok I'm trying to stay positive and believe that one day I'll be better but for me it's like with the windows and waves it's not really windows cause it's bad all the time but it's just been especially bad and a big uptick in symptoms over the last couple of days especially the burning pressure and pain in my head of course all the other symptoms are bad to confusion, fatigue, DP/DR, intrusive thoughts are all apart of it so it's just hard to stay calm and keep going and it's just been really bad the last few days so I don't know?

 

But I'm still here and I'm trying to hold on one day at a time not knowing if I'm actually healing or not or if my brain is permanently damaged?

[ChessieCat]

"But I'm still here and I'm trying to hold on one day at a time"

 

That's all you need to do and all you can do at this time.  Hopefully soon you will have another period when the symptoms calm down a bit.  They calmed down before so it is highly likely that they will calm down again.

 

The key is to not to get bogged down thinking that your brain is permanently damaged.  The brain is a remarkable thing and it can heal.  It just takes time.

[maizeNblue81]

I'm trying so hard to hold onto hope but I have to admit it's hard at this point being almost 5 months removed from benzos.

 

The emotional symptoms are bad enough and all over the place and I feel like I've lost control of my brain and I'm not even the same and don't know if I'll ever be the same?

 

The 2 most concerning issues remain the constant head pressure numbness and physical pain in my head which is really hard to put into words or even understand if you've never experienced it for yourself and the constant fatigue confusion and other emotional issues are so hard to ignore but why is this head pressure so bad at 5 months? What causes this? Will it ever go away or will I ever be normal again? It feels like my head is gonna pop so much pressure and burning and numbness it's crazy. I could understand a few months of WD but we are at 5 months now and I was only on the drug 5 or 6 months so it's hard to comprehend.

 

The ther issue is still the Zoloft and all that's done is just complicate things and I still don't know what part it's playing in all this or what it's doing cause the benzo symptoms are still so bad.

 

I've done everything y'all recommended switching over to the liquid 100ml bottle and removing 10ml with a syringe to make 90mg every night now for 2 weeks and honestly I just don't know I don't even know if I'm doing it right?

[ChessieCat]

It is important to accept that you and nobody else knows why.  It is an unanswerable question.  Dwelling on it is not going to answer it.  Dwelling on it causes confusion and puts negative thoughts in your mind, eg making you doubt that you are getting your dose right.

 

Please see the highlighted parts in Catnapt's post quoted below.

 

Please also check out these topics:

 

Acceptance

 

Acceptance and Mindfulness

 

You need to learn to recognise when you are starting to slide back into negative thinking.

 

 

TIMER SUGGESTION:

 

My daughter made a suggestion to me last year when I had to have my 14 year old dog euthanaised.  She told me about "checking in with myself" to see how I was.  Because I knew that I would probably forget and sometimes things creep up slowly and then all of a sudden I am in a bad state (at that time I was having an issue with anxiety, which if it got too far would become a panic attack), I set a timer for each hour during the morning (and it became easier to do it without the timer in the afternoon) just so I could be reminded and I would stop and ask, okay, how am I feeling, what thoughts am I having.  This meant that I could nip it in the bud and do some controlled deep breathing before it became too much of a problem and harder to deal with.

 

 

Have a plan about what you will do when you realise that you are starting to think negatively.  One suggestion would be to come back to your thread here at SA and read through the responses you have already been given.

 

As the mods have said previously, we can offer suggestions but you are the one who has to find what works for you and then do them when needed.  That means actually trying the different suggestions we make, not just reading about them.  Maybe write a list of some of the suggestions, give them a try and cross off the ones which you don't feel worked.  Doing this will help in 2 ways.  Firstly it will help you distract and secondly it will give you tools to use when you need them.

 

You need to make the effort to try the suggestions and use the ones which work for you.  You can get through this.  Others have but nobody can do it for you.

 

 

 

I understand why you want to know why this is happening 'now'- because then maybe you can figure out what to do to "fix" it

 

I've been there, done that. I'm a good example of what NOT to do.

 

I just hope that others can learn from my mistakes.

 

I know it's hard, but you need to stop using up so much energy on asking why, and just work on doing SOMETHING that can help you feel better NOW.

 

It won't be a drug, so... what else can you do?

what have you tried so far?
 

have you tried taking an epsom salt bath? have you tried meditating or using a relaxation CD? have you tried reading or watching TV to distract yourself from the distressing feelings and thoughts? or chatted with a friend, or gone for a walk?

 

believe me I KNOW how hard it is to do these things when you are feeling so awful.  Most of us know, because we've been there too.

When you think about it, you will realize, if WE can do it, so can you.

 

yes it sucks and yes it's not fair and yes it's taking a LOT longer than we ever could have expected and surely way longer than we'd like but the good news is, it WILL END

 

in the meantime, though, you need to find ways to calm yourself. No one else can do that for you.

It requires a whole new way of looking at our problems.
Before, we looked OUTSIDE ourselves for solutions, to drs, for drugs (or for some people, alcohol, illegal drugs, food, even to numb our feelings etc)

 

now we need to look INSIDE ourselves to find the strength and the things that can calm us and help us get thru this tough time.

 

we all have that strength inside us, we just need to find it.

 

Just focus on one minute at a time. PLEASE!! stop adding up the days that you've been feeling bad, it is only making you feel worse.

You are adding to your pain and distress by focusing on it, you need to just stay in the present and think about, how do I get thru the next hour or the next five minutes?

YOU can do this!!

 

 

oh by the way, EVERYTHING is going to seem and feel alarming. That is because while your brain is healing, it's got it's signals all messed up.

It's sending out danger danger danger signals when there IS NO DANGER

 

the feeling is just an indication that your brain is healing at the place where danger signals are normally sent out. It's trying to get back to normal, and it will do it in time.

 

so try to talk back to the alarming feelings, tell them: I know that nothing truly bad is happening, there is nothing to be afraid of. These feelings are unpleasant, horrible, even but they are NOT dangerous.

I am healing and getting better.

 

all I need to do is just accept the process and let it happen. Don't fight it, it won't help and it is probably making your symptoms get worse.

 

You WILL get a window. You have probably had tiny ones already but you are SO focused on all the negative stuff, you haven't noticed them.

 

try to think of one thing that has gotten better, even if only a little bit.

focusing on the good things will actually help make more good things happen and happen sooner

 

you can do this!!

[maizeNblue81]

Ok and what's crazy is I actually tried some light jogging today and I literally thought I was gonna die.

 

My legs and whole body was extremely weak and I thought I was gonna pass out and couldn't breath. The head pressure was so bad I had to stop I couldn't do it. And I'm sure that setting around here for the last 10 months with nothing to do but smoke has helped but it was really bad and awful so I'm trying but between the smoking and not being active for so long the head pressure was so bad I couldn't do it couldn't breath and got really dizzy so I guess I wasn't expecting it to be so bad and I'm really trying but I've never been here before and I don't know how hard it was gonna be.

[ChessieCat]

"tried some light jogging today"

 

It's good that you tried something, but obviously that was not the right thing to do, so you can cross that off the list for now.

 

To be honest, anybody who has been inactive and smoking for the last 10 months would not have managed much in the way of light jogging.  And you have a sensitised central nervous system on top of the inactivity and smoking so that is not at all surprising.

 

Instead, next time go for a gentle walk around the block.

 

Check out the neighbours' gardens.  If you can walk to a park or there is a seat on the route, sit for a while in the sunshine, listening to the noises around you.  The next time you go out walk in the other direction and you will notice different things from different angles.  Or cross over the road and walk on the other side.  Notice any dogs that bark as you walk past.  Did you see any cats along the way?  What plants have flowers, or are the branches on the trees bare?  Or growing new leaves?

 

If those things don't interest you, you could check out the cars.  What colours are they?  What brand of car?  Four wheel drives, sedans, station wagons.

 

If you set the bar too high you will fail.  It will only make you feel worse and then you won't want to try anything.

[ChessieCat]

Here is SA's discussion:  exercise-do-more-do-less-do-nothing-what-worked-for-you

[maizeNblue81]

Yeah it's crazy I'm laying in bed now and my whole body hurts and it's hard to breath and the head pressure is what is the worst.

 

I wouldn't have imagined just jogging the little I did would be so bad but it was and like you said being inactive and smoking as much as I have hasn't helped but I have no strength no endurance and my head feels like it's literally about to explode with so much pressure and numbness in my head it's crazy.

 

Instead of jogging would it be better once I get to the gym to do light weights to build strength and endurance and maybe some light walking on a treadmill or is that even gonna be to much?

 

Why is it this bad after 5 months? Will I ever get my life back or is this the new normal for me?

[ChessieCat]

Your question, yet again:  "Why is it this bad after 5 months?"

 

My response, again:  "It is important to accept that you and nobody else knows why.  It is an unanswerable question."

 

Whatever you do you need to start gently and and build up slowly.  Don't try and push yourself physically past what you are comfortable doing.  I heard the story years ago about a guy who had become severely obese.  He couldn't even walk down to his letterbox.  He started by walking around the clothes line in his backyard and increasing the number of laps.  He then started walking to the end of his street and back again.

 

You might find going to the gym makes you want to force yourself to do more than you can at this time.  Instead, you could do some gentle weightlifting at home.  If you don't have weights you can use cans of food or books.  Going out for a walk instead of on the treadmill may also be better for you at this time.  Then once you have got some endurance and strength you could go to the gym.

 

This is what I mean by not setting the bar too high.  You don't want to put yourself in a situation that you are going to feel like you have failed.  If you go to the gym and only last 5 minutes on the treadmill you are going to feel defeated.  Whereas if you go out for a walk and you get a bit tired you can rest for a bit and then go a bit further or head back home.  You won't feel as pressured.  You could set yourself little goals.  If you only manage to go x distance or x amount of time, next time try and go that bit further or longer.  Try and make a game of it.  Challenge yourself but do it in small increments.  Record what you did so you can see what you have achieved.

 

But remember that you might have off days.  If possible still go out on these days, but you may not get as far.  That is not failing, it is listening to your body and being sensible.

[maizeNblue81]

Ok last night was the first time I really tried so I'll try what you suggested and let you know how things go for this next week cause after yesterday I'm gonna rest this weekend and try again on Monday

[ChessieCat]

I think resting is a good idea.  However, don't get caught in the trap of getting to Monday and thinking I'll do it tomorrow.  You will then get to Tuesday and think I'll leave it until Wednesday.  Before you know it it will be another month of doing nothing.  Tomorrow never comes.  Even if all you do is go into the yard and wander around outside for 15 minutes looking at things that will be a start.  Then the next day go a bit faster or for longer.

 

Maybe during your resting time you could write down a plan for the week.  If you have it written down you can then tick it and get satisfaction from completing them.  Start low and slow and gradually build up and see if you can reach the goal you set for the end of the week.  Remember to make it a goal that you are likely to reach.  Attaining the goal will give you satisfaction and will encourage you to keep going.

 

It takes about 2 weeks to form new habits.  So you could make that part of your goal.  Do something every day for 2 weeks. 

 

It's okay to feel disappointed that you couldn't handle the light jogging.  But see it as a something that you can't do at this time.  You can use that as a goal to work towards.

[maizeNblue81]

Yeah I tried to rest a little yesterday and have been getting some ok sleep but like this morning I woke up and all this would be easier but stil the constant intense head pressure numbness burning and physical pain in my head is so bad I can't hardly do anything.

 

No one as of yet has been able to explain this to me all I know is that it is a common symptom of benzo WD not everyone gets this symptom and the ones that do I've heard of it lasting a month up to 8-9 months off and it is the absolute worst symptom I have out of all the others and the most dibilatating one. It seems to come with major fatigue as well and I guess the best way to describe it is it's like so much pressure and numbness that my head feels like it's going to pop and it moves from the back or right side of my brain up to the middle and in my forehead and above my eyes and the burning and physical pain it's like my head is on fire and some one has taking a sharp hook and stabbed my in the right side of my brain and is just pulling me down to the ground it's been their since before I went into the hospital and at 5 months off it's still there and varies in intensity day to day but is constant and always their and I'm just wandering after 5 months is it ever gonna go away?

 

On top of that I still don't know what the Zoloft is adding to this horror or if I'm doing the liquid Zoloft right but I'm gonna check something tonight to see if I'm actually measuring right and I'm on day 15 of the switch on that.

 

And why is it so much worse in the morning the head pressure, confusion, DP/DR, intrusive thoughts, fatigue are all really bad in the morning and I have to say the last 3 days have been a big uptick in symptoms and I'm trying to get motivation and start doing all this small stuff to move forward but it's like my brain and body have been so damaged I can't and that's very discouraging to say the least.

 

Most people I've talked to who have been CT off benzos say they noticed marked improvement between month 5-7 and here I am at almost 5 months and little if any improvement at all and at times worse so I just don't know what to think about all this or where I'm at why some of these symptoms have lasted so long or even gotten worse or if I'll ever recover and be normal again?

[maizeNblue81]

Ok so tonight I did my measurements different cause I really felt like something was off. Up to now which is 16 days I had been just pouring water into the sports bottle up to the 100ML line dissolving the 100mg tablet over night then pouring the liquid into a clear glass measuring cup and withdrawing 1 10ml syringe to make the 90ml but I felt something was off so after taking my night dose tonight I took the syringe and measured it from another cup that I had filled with water into the sports bottle 10 x 10ml to equal the 100ML and it was actually over the 100ML line by about a half inch to maybe a inch in water or to be more precise one side of the bottle measures in ML and the other in oz and it passed the 100ml line and was even with the 4 oz line which was off needless to say so I don't know what to do know?

 

Obviously the 100ml has not been accurate and the 10ML syringes I've been subtracting is not accurate so I don't know what I've been taking or where I'm at with this now it's so screwed up.

 

What should I do? Tonight before I put the pill into dissolve I measured it with the syringe or should I just leave it the way it was? Please help me cause I'm worried know and I don't know what to do?

[ChessieCat]

We need a bit more accuracy to be able to work out what you have actually been taking.

 

I suggest that you fill the bottle to the 100ml like you have been doing.  Then pour that into a small bowl and measure out and count the number of 10ml syringes that you fill.  So fill to 10ml, empty into sink then note that down on a piece of paper and repeat.  The last syringe probably won't be a full 10ml so you need to take note of how mls the last syringe was.

 

So what you need to report back is:

 

How many full syringes did you draw out?

 

How many mls was in the last syringe (if it wasn't a full 10mls)?

[maizeNblue81]

Ok I measured four different times using a 100ml clear glass measuring cup and the 10ml syringe and that wasn't even 100% consistent but all four times in measured or I was able to WD 7-1/2 to 8 10ml syringes into the 100ml sports bottle which was pretty close to being equal to the 100ml line I had been using to measure in the sports bottle before or for the last 16 days.

 

So what does this mean or what do I do know?

[ChessieCat]

The most accurate way of doing it would be as I suggested previously.  I will repeat those instructions.

 

1.  Fill the bottle to the 100ml like you have been doing.

 

2.  Pour water into the measuring cup but do not worry about measuring the liquid.

 

3.  Fill the syringe to 10ml.

 

4.  Empty syringe into sink.

 

5.  Write 1 on a piece of paper.

 

6.  Repeat from Step 4.

 

The last syringe probably won't be a full 10ml so you need to take note of how mls the last syringe was.

 

 

So what you need to report back is:

 

A.  How many full syringes did you draw out?

 

B.  How many mls was in the last syringe (if it wasn't a full 10mls)?

 

 

We need this measuring to be as accurate as possible so we can calculate how much Zoloft you have been taking.

[maizeNblue81]

Yeah that's what I did was filled the sports bottle up to 100ml then poured it into a clear glass measuring cup and WD between 7 1/2 -8 10ml syringes every time so if I fill the sports bottle to the 100ml line it's not coming out as 10 full 10ml syringes only about 7-1/2 -8

[JanCarol]

Hey Maize - 

 

Instead of jogging would it be better once I get to the gym to do light weights to build strength and endurance and maybe some light walking on a treadmill or is that even gonna be to much?

 

I'm a big fan of light weights.  And I do spend some time on the treadmill as warm up or cool down.

 

But I'm going to talk about walking - like Chessie was saying.  It is healing looking at green grass, gardens, birds, other people walking their dogs, kids playing in the yard.  It is healing to take the sunshine in, and that helps protect against insomnia.  It is mood uplifting, and beneficial.

 

I prescribe myself 1 x 10 minute walk per day.  Why so short?  Because - I have no excuse for not doing it.  It's as short as the time it takes to make a cup of coffee.  That 1 x 10 minute walk improves mood, sleep, pain, distracts me from hardship, and sometimes even gives me social contact with neighbors.  I don't have to wear special clothes (like to a gym) or even shoes.  It's just 10 minutes.  I usually wear flip-flops!  I have no excuse for not going out.  It's usually in the afternoon, but I try to make it as early in the day as possible to achieve the best benefits.

 

It would get you out of the house, be a regular practice to break up your Negative Spirals.  Additionally, it will help ground out your head pressure, by connection with your feet (walking).  If you can add awareness of how you are breathing while you walk, it will help even more.  Meditation While Moving

 

I echo what Chessie says - walk every day for 2 weeks.  That should be enough to feel a difference.  I look forward to hearing from you after you've tried this.  (and I also agree with Chessie that Monday is not a magical day for starting things - Today is best of all!)

 

And why is it so much worse in the morning the head pressure, confusion, DP/DR, intrusive thoughts, fatigue are all really bad in the morning 

 

What time do you take your Zoloft?   Keep notes on paper as to what time you take your meds, and when the symptoms are worse.  This is important - it's the first time you've mentioned that the pressure is not heavy 24/7, that it fluctuates during the day.

 

Yeah that's what I did was filled the sports bottle up to 100ml then poured it into a clear glass measuring cup and WD between 7 1/2 -8 10ml syringes every time so if I fill the sports bottle to the 100ml line it's not coming out as 10 full 10ml syringes only about 7-1/2 -8 

 

I think you are doing really well with this!

 

What you're telling me is that the syringe is more accurate than the drink bottle.  Common problem.  Can you find an old medicine cup? Or buy a small graduated cylinder (often for measuring children's medicines)?  Sometimes even cooking measuring cups will have gradations on them (but graduated cylinder is better).    They have more accurate measurements than a sports bottle would.  Even small "energy shot" bottles might be exactly 100 ml (make a line where the liquid was, throw out the liquid).

 

SO what I'm hearing is that your sports bottle is 75-80 ml, as measured by your syringe.  

My hubby just helped me with the maths.  He estimates that you are taking around 87.5 mg of Zoloft.   If what you're telling me is correct, you could add 2 syringes of water to your sports bottle before mixing the drug in.  

 

But - you seem to be doing better at  87.5 - if you are okay, there, just keep taking it like you've been doing, and stay there!  More important than hitting that exact 90 mg, is doing the same thing every day to keep it stable.

 

This should be fine for now - but when you are ready for your next decrease, you will need to go to a more accurate measuring system.

 

You do sound better, much calmer, and I look forward to seeing the benefits of stable dose, and gentle walking.

 

I hope you see the sun - Today!

[maizeNblue81]

Well I take the Zoloft every night between 9:30-10:00pm and yes the head pressure is still constant and very severe and for sure one of my worst symptoms it just moves in severity from my forehead to the back right side of my head and along with pressure it's constant numbness and it feels like someone has literally taking a sharp hook and stabbed the back right side of my head and is pulling down on it and constant numbness and pressure in my forehead.

 

The other symptoms are still the same major fatigue, confusion, DP/DR intrusive thoughts all those are still the same except recently over the last 4-5 days their has been a uptick in symptoms and I wander if that's with the switch to the liquid Zoloft and me messing up on the dose with the inaccurate measurements between the sports bottle and the syringe?

 

Ok I'm on day 17 of doing it that way and again I had just been measuring 100ml into the sports bottle dissolving the pill over night then when it was time to take it I pour the liquid out into a clear glass measuring cup and WD 10ml with a 10ml syringe and been drinking the rest as recommended.

 

Like I said when I tested this I filled the sports bottle up to 100ml then poured the water from the sports bottle into the glass measuring cup then used the syringe to WD 10ml out and after doing this four times it came out between 7.5 and 8 ml every time so it's for sure been off and for some reason the 100ml measured in the sports bottle is not the same when using the syringe.

 

So what should I do? Should I keep doing it this way or go to measuring with the syringe 10 x 10ml syringes into the sports bottle then dissolve the tablet overnight and Measure that way?

 

I just don't know what to do from here?

[ChessieCat]

Hi Maize,

 

Sorry that I misinterpreted the way you were measuring.  I read it that you were doing it the opposite way.

 

Jan answered you question here in her post:

 

Hey Maize - 

Yeah that's what I did was filled the sports bottle up to 100ml then poured it into a clear glass measuring cup and WD between 7 1/2 -8 10ml syringes every time so if I fill the sports bottle to the 100ml line it's not coming out as 10 full 10ml syringes only about 7-1/2 -8 

 

I think you are doing really well with this!

 

What you're telling me is that the syringe is more accurate than the drink bottle.  Common problem.  Can you find an old medicine cup? Or buy a small graduated cylinder (often for measuring children's medicines)?  Sometimes even cooking measuring cups will have gradations on them (but graduated cylinder is better).    They have more accurate measurements than a sports bottle would.  Even small "energy shot" bottles might be exactly 100 ml (make a line where the liquid was, throw out the liquid).

 

SO what I'm hearing is that your sports bottle is 75-80 ml, as measured by your syringe.  

My hubby just helped me with the maths.  He estimates that you are taking around 87.5 mg of Zoloft.   If what you're telling me is correct, you could add 2 syringes of water to your sports bottle before mixing the drug in.  

 

But - you seem to be doing better at  87.5 - if you are okay, there, just keep taking it like you've been doing, and stay there!  More important than hitting that exact 90 mg, is doing the same thing every day to keep it stable.

 

This should be fine for now - but when you are ready for your next decrease, you will need to go to a more accurate measuring system.

 

So do the same thing you have been doing.  But you need to try and find something that will accurately measure 100ml of liquid for when you do your next drop in dose.  This is something you could be looking for now but not using until you need it.

[maizeNblue81]

Ok so I'll keep it the same using the 100ml line in the sports bottle to measure dissolve the pill overnight and when it's time to take it pour the liquid from the sports bottle in the clear glass measuring cup and WD the 1 10ml syringe and I'll be on the lookout for something to measure more accurately.

 

How long should I stay doing it this way or at this current dose?

 

I'm on day 17 now

[maizeNblue81]

Ok so latest update is I'm staying with the way that I've been doing things with the liquid Zoloft and measuring the same with the sports bottle for now as suggested and I'm on day 21 of that. So I have not changed anything yet and looking to know what my next step should be from here concerning the Zoloft such as how long should I stick to the current dose and way of doing the liquid before making another drop and trying to figure out a way to be more accurate with the measurements?

 

I also had a full lab of blood work done last week and just got the results back today and everything looks good other than my carbs were extremely high, my vitamin D was low, and apparently the blood results show signs of a pancreatic injury as I have low pancreatic enzyme levels ok this current blood work and from my research it has to do with the digestive system and your body's ability to break down food to get key nutrients from what I eat. My question is on that could any of this from my blood work be related to the damage caused by Xanax cause the doctor seemed to think Xanax could cause this issue and she is wanting to recheck again in 3 weeks to see what my levels are then.

 

Symptom update:

 

The head pressure burning numbness and physical pain is still the worst and most dibilatating symptom I face on a daily basis and the last two days have been so bad I could hardly left my eyes from all the pressure in my forehead and the the pressure and numbness goes up to the middle part of my hard down into my ears to the point they are clogged and popping and it hurst very bad and it goes to the right side of my head and feels like someone has stabbed my brain with a hook and just keeps jerking and pulling me down with it. How can this still be so severe after 5 months off and if it's still bad after 5 months it doesn't seem like their is any relief coming anytime soon.

 

Of course their is still the confusion, fatigue, DP/DR, and intrusive thoughts I have to deal with but nothing compares to the pressure and pain in my head!

 

So long story short my symptoms are not getting any better and now I'm having stiff shoe up on my blood work that wasn't their 6 months ago so I don't know what to think or what to do?

[ChessieCat]

"How can this still be so severe after 5 months off"

 

You have asked this question multiple times and multiple times you have been told that there is no answer.

 

It's time to accept that you and nobody else can answer this unanswerable question.

 

It's time to realise that continuing to ask an unanswerable question places further stress on your CNS.

 

Placing additional stress on your nervous system is going to slow healing.

[maizeNblue81]

Yes ma'am it's just that the head pressure and physical pain in my head is the worst and most severe symptom and after 5 months I don't have and answer to it and it's hard to think with it still being this bad after 5 months any relief is coming anytime soon and I wander if my brain has been permanently damaged?

 

Any input on my blood work or the Zoloft from here please?

[ChessieCat]

I'm asking the other mods for their opinion on the blood test results.  In may take a couple of days for us the discuss this.

 

Has the doctor advised you to take anything?  Vitamin D?

 

 

Continue to do the same thing with your Zoloft at this time.  It is best to hold for a minimum of 4 weeks after a dose change.

[maizeNblue81]

Ok so hold atleast another week on the Zoloft and as far as my doctor she did recommend taking vitamin D supplements and she wants me back in the weeks to test again for the EPI or low pancreatic enzyme.

[Altostrata]

Strongly recommend you eliminate almost all sugar, sweeteners, and sweetened foods from your diet, including fruit juices.

 

Psychiatric drugs mostly affect the liver and kidneys. Did you ever take an antipsychotic containing valproic acid? Methamphetamine? Anti-inflammatories? Alcohol also can damage the pancreas, and some antibiotics.

[maizeNblue81]

Ok so no sugar and any sweetened or junk foods and no sugary juices or drinks?

 

As far as antipsychotics they put me on risperdal which I was on .5mg for two weeks and then as soon as I got out of the hospital I dropped it to .25mg for two weeks then got off that mess. So I don't what that contained but I researched it enough to know I didn't want to be on it once I got out but I've been off it for almost 4 months now. So could that have done it?