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anongrl5590: Withdrawing from Prozac

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anongrl5590

Chicago77 - 

 

Thank you for always listening and responding when I need someone. It's been REALLY hard to not have anyone around me who understands the hell I'm going through and I feel like you always know what to say <3 I really appreciate it. It's also a bit more comforting to know someone out there is dealing with the same symptoms as I am (even though I would not wish any of us to go through this at all). It really is super hard to be patient... I wonder why I feel so much worse now than I did at the beginning. I used to have windows that lasted 4-5 days. But I haven't had any windows at all ... or I get partial windows but they're super brief. If this takes 2+ years, I dunno how I'm going to deal with life. I don't understand how someone could live like this for that long. But for now, I guess I am just surviving at the bare minimum with the basic necessities. It's just draining because I have lost motivation to do anything and all I do these days is read the SA forum and the Benzo Buddies forum. I obsessively just read all the stories and posts because I can cling onto something that relates to what I'm going through. I know it is unhealthy but I can't stop reading. What a life I am living now...

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O2bhappy

anongrl5590 -

 

I am having a really bad day because of my symptoms but I am going to do my best to respond to you.

 

I know it is difficult.  I have been there and I am still there.  To this day I hate the makers of Prozac and my doctor for prescribing it to me.  I have had days where I also have cried and yelled at the top of my lungs because I felt so bad.  I am sure I will still have some of those days.  I think it is good that you are posting on this forum.  I have found it very comforting, especially when I feel my worst.  It is also wonderful to have people that can relate to you.  I also believe that my family and friends are sick of hearing me complain about how bad I feel.  So I have stopped talking to them about how I feel and turn to the forum.  You are not suffering alone.  We are all suffering.  Unfortunately, you are suffering from a short time on Prozac.  I was on it over 12 years so no wonder why I am suffering.  

 

Just remember to take a day at a time and yes I know that isn't easy. Try and do something nice for yourself today.   I am here for you.

 

You are in my prayers. 

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anongrl5590

anongrl5590 -

 

I am having a really bad day because of my symptoms but I am going to do my best to respond to you.

 

I know it is difficult.  I have been there and I am still there.  To this day I hate the makers of Prozac and my doctor for prescribing it to me.  I have had days where I also have cried and yelled at the top of my lungs because I felt so bad.  I am sure I will still have some of those days.  I think it is good that you are posting on this forum.  I have found it very comforting, especially when I feel my worst.  It is also wonderful to have people that can relate to you.  I also believe that my family and friends are sick of hearing me complain about how bad I feel.  So I have stopped talking to them about how I feel and turn to the forum.  You are not suffering alone.  We are all suffering.  Unfortunately, you are suffering from a short time on Prozac.  I was on it over 12 years so no wonder why I am suffering.  

 

Just remember to take a day at a time and yes I know that isn't easy. Try and do something nice for yourself today.   I am here for you.

 

You are in my prayers. 

 

 

O2bhappy - 

 

Thank you for also being here for me. You and Chicago77 have been really great support through this. I wish we could all physically be around each other and give support directly rather than just through this online forum. 

 

I definitely hate the makers of Prozac and my doctor too. Even though I was on Prozac for a short time, it could possibly take many years for me to recover. I can't believe my world turned upside down so fast ... I definitely learned the hard way going through this ordeal. I am praying to heal within 2 years at least... but I know I can't put a deadline on this.

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O2bhappy

anongrl5590 -

 

You are very welcome.  I am glad that I can offer you support.  It would be wonderful if we lived closer and could offer direct support. 

 

It is hard to believe that something you take to supposedly help you can cause so much issues when you no longer take it.  In the beginning of withdrawal I would constantly ask my husband when I was going to feel better.  He said it would take time for my body to heal.  I didn't want to hear that answer because I wanted to feel better at that moment.  Well I learned it doesn't matter what I did to help myself the thing that has helped the most is time. 

 

I know that you have been struggling.  When I read your post you sound like I did when I was first in withdrawal.  I wanted answers and I wasn't getting answers, or should I say I wasn't getting the answers I wanted.  I wanted the quick fix to feel better, but doing the quick fix is what got me into this situation.  

 

I feel bad for my family and what I have put them through during my withdrawal.  I am hoping to learn something from all of this suffering. 

 

I pray for your healing. 

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Altostrata

anongrl, I reviewed your Intro topic from the beginning of February and it looks like the little bit of Prozac did help you.

 

 

Thanks guys for the replies. It means a lot to get feedback here.

I am 3 days into reinstatement. Despite the fact that it takes 4-7 days to kick in, I feel like my sxs have let up a bit. I was able to sleep naturally without benadryl or melatonin the last 2 nights. Also I've noticed my windows are coming up again for a longer duration. Still having bad morning anxiety, cortisol spikes, intense dreaming, tinnitus, and feeling like my body is electrified. The jolts and some other physical sxs haven't came up. Not sure if this means the Prozac miraculously kicked in already or I'm just feeling a bit better coincidentally.

I know I am experiencing the waves and windows but now I am starting to feel non-commital once again -__-... I am debating for the millionth time to continue reinstatement or go back to CTing. This is bothering me just as I'm sure it would bother you all. I am an indecisive type of person so it's very, very difficult for me to choose which path to take.

I read the CT success stories on the BenzoBuddies.org forum which gives me hope of recovery but I also read the horror stories of long PAWS from CT. Is aggravating and I feel like I cannot make a choice to save me.

 

We urged you several times to stick with it but you went off. 

 

It's possible a slightly larger dose than 2mg Prozac would have helped.

 

If I were you, I'd start with 1mg Prozac again, taken at night. See how that goes for about a week. If no bad reaction and you feel more might be good, take 2mg Prozac. 

 

Keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. Let us know how you're doing.

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anongrl5590

Hey guys -

 

So the eye inflammation I had since the beginning of WD is still here. It got a little better with using Fluorometholone, a steroid eye drop. It's not as strong but it didn't help the inflammation that much.

 

So my Dr just prescribed a stronger steroid called Prednisolone Acetate eye drops. She also added Azithromycin (Zithromax) which is a Z-pack oral tablets. I'm supposed to take 2 of these the first day and then once a day the next 4 days until I see her again next Tuesday. With these two meds, will I experience a setback and worsening of symptoms? I'm VERY paranoid to put any other meds my body, even if they're not psychoactive. Anyone have experience with prednisolone and Z-pack?

 

I don't wanna risk anymore worsening symptoms. I'm already at my worst as it is.

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ChessieCat

I can recall another member taking it but can't remember who it was.  Sorry.

 

Discussions on SA:

 

steroid-risk-prednisone-prednisolone-etc

 

cipro-levaquin-azithromycin-z-pack-and-other-antibiotics

 

 

To search the site for existing topics I use google and type in survivingantidepressants.org + topic. In these instances I typed in prednisone and azithromycin respectively.

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Alice1

Hey anongrl. . You're not alone. I'm 6 1/2 months out a rapid taper my therapist and doctor came up with. Ya . You can imagine the crazy thoughts I'm having about those two quacks right now.. Anyway. I just wanted you to know we're in the same boat , so we might as well paddle our asses to shore. You know? Umm .. Where are the paddles? :-/

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anongrl5590

Hey anongrl. . You're not alone. I'm 6 1/2 months out a rapid taper my therapist and doctor came up with. Ya . You can imagine the crazy thoughts I'm having about those two quacks right now.. Anyway. I just wanted you to know we're in the same boat , so we might as well paddle our asses to shore. You know? Umm .. Where are the paddles? :-/

Hey Alice,

 

Right? Where are the freaking paddles?! Seriously fighting each wave with no life support.

 

Our doctors are not to be trusted at this point... I have two different psychiatrists I'm gonna see this coming week but I am already expecting them to suggest me taking pills and saying WD doesn't exist. Ugh.

 

I'm getting an MRI done tomorrow so we will see if any permanent brain damage has been done. I'm assuming there isn't any but I'd rather get a peace of mind.

 

This week I'm feeling a bit better actually. I'm still getting broken sleep and waking up early but I don't wake up with the burning brain anymore and the buzzing in my head. The mains symptoms I'm having now are teeth and gum pain, throat dryness and pain, neuropathy, pins + needles, buzzing over my body, anxiety, depression, uncomfortable nerve sensations and the looping songs in my head.

 

How are you doing?

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Alice1

Hey anongrl.

That's great you're doing a bit better this week. I wouldn't stress out on the MRI much as it's going to come back negative. I had a small window two nights ago where my daughter and I watched the sunset and spongebob lol. But now I'm in a intense FEAR wave. Very intense. I am so afraid for my life right now. I just keep thinking that rapid taper from 20 mg Lex is undoable.

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LexAnger

So happy to hear you are doing better anongrl!

Alice, not to dismiss your struggling, rather to encourage you, you are doing wuite well giving you CTed the 20 mg lex. I'm still hanging on the poison still totally bed ridden.

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Alice1

Hey Lex.

I'm so sorry that you're feeling so bad . So seem to be doing it the right way though. I wish I did what you're doing. I had to pay my therapist fees and doctors co pay for them to ruin my life. Lol. Actually my therapist DOES acknowledge my withdrawal but his services are like trying to put out a brush fire with a squirt gun. And my doctor is ALWAYS on vacation.

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LexAnger

Hi Alice,

 

Your analogy actually made me smile (inside somewhere not on the face, still can't smile).

I can imagine how tough cold turkey the 20 mg Lexapro. Even dropping from 0.9 to 0.06 in two months made my heart fails everyday. If not for the tiny dose I am still on, it can happen for real. It happened the tiny dose is not enough to life my heart can barely breath so I finally gave up and decided to increase. Just a few hours after 0.08 mg, I bounce back with enough energy out for gym. Truely incredible how these drugs mess up us and how powerful the tiny poison can be,

 

I found chiropractor helps quite a lot with tension, pain etc,

take care. Will talk more in your thread so not to hijack anongrls thread.

Lex

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Waiting12

Hi anongirl,

I'm sorry you are suffering. I can fully relate. I too went ct. Then tried to reinstate 1.5 years later and things got scary real fast. Oh my god do I wish I would've been told to taper. Oh the regrets. Anyways I can sympathize with you about all you want to do is read the forums for shreds of hope. I do that too when I'm in a wave. In a window I hardly think about this and then it comes back and I feel completely terrified and need the comfort and reassurance. You arent alone girl. I'm a year younger than you so I know the loss of normal life. Watching friends do amazing things and all I can say is 'I'm still sick'. It's just unreal.

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anongrl5590

Hi anongirl,

I'm sorry you are suffering. I can fully relate. I too went ct. Then tried to reinstate 1.5 years later and things got scary real fast. Oh my god do I wish I would've been told to taper. Oh the regrets. Anyways I can sympathize with you about all you want to do is read the forums for shreds of hope. I do that too when I'm in a wave. In a window I hardly think about this and then it comes back and I feel completely terrified and need the comfort and reassurance. You arent alone girl. I'm a year younger than you so I know the loss of normal life. Watching friends do amazing things and all I can say is 'I'm still sick'. It's just unreal.

Hey there -

 

Omg I'm so sorry to hear that your reinstatement didn't work. I wish I was also told about properly being tapered. My Dr basically told me to finish the last 10mg I was on in 2 weeks. And then hell began.

 

I'm still trying to have a normal life even though it's painful. I still go out and go to school but I have to take it easier. The symptoms I have are insane and I feel like my physical ones are some of the worst out there (like having severe teeth pain... Haven't found many with this one). Anyways how are you doing now? What main symptoms are you having trouble with?

 

BTW I just got back my MRI results. They came back normal... Of course! Sigh. I can conclude that everything is caused by WD.

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Waiting12

I'm glad your MRI was clear! I'm glad you are able to be functional even if you had to lighten your load. I had to quit school and work and basically everything over night. My main issue is anxiety on steroids and intrusive thoughts. I have so many symptoms but if that could calm down I would be so much better off. I've read a lot of people having teeth pain on the benzo site. I know there's so many crazy symptoms, one of my bizzare ones is that I don't make ear wax anymore? My ears are just like dry and scabby. Gross I know but how weird.

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O2bhappy

anongrl5590 -

 

I am glad to hear that your MRI came back clean.  That is good news. 

 

I have also had tooth/teeth pain.  It is in one particular area.  I have actually been do a dentist and endodontist about it and they cannot find anything wrong.  Never thought about blaming withdrawal, but I will now.  :)

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anongrl5590

I'm glad your MRI was clear! I'm glad you are able to be functional even if you had to lighten your load. I had to quit school and work and basically everything over night. My main issue is anxiety on steroids and intrusive thoughts. I have so many symptoms but if that could calm down I would be so much better off. I've read a lot of people having teeth pain on the benzo site. I know there's so many crazy symptoms, one of my bizzare ones is that I don't make ear wax anymore? My ears are just like dry and scabby. Gross I know but how weird.

 

 

Wow the ear wax symptom is bizarre! Haven't heard of that one. I also have anxiety like it's on steroids and I also get intrusive thoughts and the intrusive songs looping in my head. I'm sorry to hear you've had to quit school and work though ... I have a fear that I might have to as well if the symptoms keep up this way. Really don't want to give up what I worked so hard for though.

 

anongrl5590 -

 

I am glad to hear that your MRI came back clean.  That is good news. 

 

I have also had tooth/teeth pain.  It is in one particular area.  I have actually been do a dentist and endodontist about it and they cannot find anything wrong.  Never thought about blaming withdrawal, but I will now.  :)

 

Hi O2bhappy - 

Yeah, I'm glad my MRI came back clean too. My mom is a dentist and she checked my teeth and said there is nothing wrong. All the nerves in my teeth are ok and my gums look ok too. But yesterday my teeth pain was pretty bad to the point where I would press on my gums with my fingers and blood will come out. It wasn't a lot of blood, very very minor, but still scary nonetheless. I've had this symptom for about a month now. It is not as intense as of lately but it's still there. 

 

How are you doing nowadays? Seeing any improvements? Are you still getting the DP/DR?

 

I feel like reinstating again... possibly with a different SSRI even.  :(

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anongrl5590

Man the electric, raw, nerve exposed feeling all over my whole body is SOOOOO intense today. It's my worst symptom by far since WD started. I just wanna rip my skin off and tear my limbs apart. It's so so bad... Really tired of fighting or trying to accept this is happening. Having no windows for the last 2.5 months is really disappointing and debilitating. Symptoms have only gotten worse and are morphing constantly. I can't even nap or rest in the day because my body jerks will wake me up. So I'm forced to keep my eyes open all day until it's time for me to sleep (which is lacking in itself). Also the repetitive songs looping in my head are incessant, playing 24/7 from the moment I wake to the time I sleep. This has gone on for over a month now everyday. I am fearing for my life and don't want to quit the things that I worked hard for like school.

 

I keep praying I will get better at the 1 year mark but if I'm not good now, I dunno if I'll be better at 1 year off. Wondering if I should try a less potent SSRI at a low dose... something that isn't as strong as Prozac. I am 6 months out from my CT and all I can think about is the high possibility of being in longer protracted WD.

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anongrl5590

Can someone please answer me about this?

 

I'm wondering what would be a good AD to reinstate back on that may be less potent than Prozac and still work on the same receptors that it works on? I'm hitting a wall with my symptoms and I think it's time I just stop fighting everyday.

 

Here's my list of symptoms as of currently (at 6 months out from CT) --

 

Physical:

- insomnia

- high levels of adrenaline

- temperature dysregulation (EXTREME heat ranges)

- blaring tinnitus

- akathisia in brain; like electricity surging all around the surface of my brain

- severe electrical hypersensitivity ALL over my body, especially in legs

- severe teeth and gum pain with metallic taste

- dry mouth and throat

- tongue burning

- eye dryness and swollen eyelids

- muscle jerks

- pins and needles

- 24/7 body vibrating and buzzing

- chest tightness

- 24/7 eye floaters (black dots and squiggly lines)

- burning hands

- burning brain (brain literally feels on fire)

- rising pressure of adrenaline/cortisol in my body; can literally feel this uncomfortable pressure

- diarrhea

- seeing flashing lights when I close my eyes

- seeing flashing lights sometimes now during the day

- 24/7 inner restlessness

- vivid dreams

- feel brain moving, pressure ... Like someone is massaging my brain but in a painful way

- losing the ability to cry

- inability to nap

- stomach butterflies

- sweating

- appetite loss

- nausea

- physically weak

 

Mental:

- intrusive thoughts

- anhedonia

- constant fear

- severe depression and anxiety

- 24/7 looping songs repeatedly playing in my head from morning til night

- suicidal

 

I've already once reached Serotonin Syndrome while I was on Prozac and I've already fainted once about 3 weeks ago due to the severity of my symptoms. I blacked out but thankfully came back to consciousness. I'm only getting worse since day 1 and I TRULY think it's time I find some relief. I've tried to go the natural way and I don't think anything is helping. Please anyone, the mods, give me feedback. I'm on the end of my rope and can't figure this out anymore.

 

Is this even "par for the course" of being this symptomatic at this stage of healing? If anything I thought my symptoms would level off by now but the intensity is now 10/10 everyday, no windows.

 

Would 5-HTP work even?

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anongrl5590

So I'm wondering if there's other less potent SSRIs out there that I can take at a lower dose to reinstate with?

I'm 6 months out from a CT of Prozac and my condition is getting worse and worse. My brain is burning and my whole body is becoming gravely ill. I can't physically tolerate this state anymore. I need relief.

Edited by Petunia
topic from symptoms forum merged into intro thread

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anongrl5590

 Anyone out there? Please help me... I am in need of advice!  :(

 

Reinstatement sounds like the best thing at this point I think... either with Prozac again or another type of AD that is less potent and can be taken at a lower dose. I just want to at least be 80-90% stabilized if not fully. What SSRIs would be recommended? Would 5-HTP even work?

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ChessieCat

Alto, this site's owner, posted her suggestion on 7th March in the post quoted below.  She stated (highlighted in red):  "anongrl, I reviewed your Intro topic from the beginning of February and it looks like the little bit of Prozac did help you."

 

I have also highlighted in red her suggestion in the quoted post.

 

It is generally better to reinstate the same drug instead of introducing a new drug.  If you take a new drug it will be difficult to work out if you are experiencing start up effects/side effects from the new drug.

 

anongrl, I reviewed your Intro topic from the beginning of February and it looks like the little bit of Prozac did help you.

 

 

Thanks guys for the replies. It means a lot to get feedback here.

I am 3 days into reinstatement. Despite the fact that it takes 4-7 days to kick in, I feel like my sxs have let up a bit. I was able to sleep naturally without benadryl or melatonin the last 2 nights. Also I've noticed my windows are coming up again for a longer duration. Still having bad morning anxiety, cortisol spikes, intense dreaming, tinnitus, and feeling like my body is electrified. The jolts and some other physical sxs haven't came up. Not sure if this means the Prozac miraculously kicked in already or I'm just feeling a bit better coincidentally.

I know I am experiencing the waves and windows but now I am starting to feel non-commital once again -__-... I am debating for the millionth time to continue reinstatement or go back to CTing. This is bothering me just as I'm sure it would bother you all. I am an indecisive type of person so it's very, very difficult for me to choose which path to take.

I read the CT success stories on the BenzoBuddies.org forum which gives me hope of recovery but I also read the horror stories of long PAWS from CT. Is aggravating and I feel like I cannot make a choice to save me.

 

We urged you several times to stick with it but you went off. 

 

It's possible a slightly larger dose than 2mg Prozac would have helped.

 

If I were you, I'd start with 1mg Prozac again, taken at night. See how that goes for about a week. If no bad reaction and you feel more might be good, take 2mg Prozac. 

 

Keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. Let us know how you're doing.

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KT38

I am so so so so so sorry you are going though this! I have all your symptoms! I want to say it's some type of akathisia.

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BAT

How are you doing?

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anongrl5590

Hey everyone - 

 

I haven't posted in a long while here but I have been reading the posts here every now and then, especially the success stories. Anyways, I am now 1 year out from my CT of Prozac. 

I started out this entire journey with about 60 sxs total. I am now down to about 40 sxs that come and go, both mental and physical sxs. I mostly have physical symptoms with some mental ones. 

 

Here's what I had the entire year: 

 

Physical symptoms

1. Brain zaps

2. Hot flushes

3. Adrenaline rushes

4. Neuropathy in hands; are numb and weak; hard to ball hands into fists 

5. Skin burning

6. Itchiness

7. Rash/hives on neck and collar bone 

8. Internal and external tremors and vibrations (back vibrates after lying down after getting up from sleep)

9. Hypnagogic jerks; involuntary muscle movement at night

11. Muscle Twitching

12. Eye pressure 

13. Brain and head pressure/squeezing

14. Brain burning

15. Brain tingling, buzzing and movement; pulsates

16. Shortness of breath (SOB)

17. Dry mouth, throat 

18. Eye inflammation (started immediately after cold turkey; swollen eyelids)

19. Tingling in mouth and throat

20. Electric, nerve movement all over body including face 

21. Heart palpitations

22. Low blood pressure (dizzy, weak, lightheaded)

23. Eye floaters (see black spots and squiggly lines) 

24. Tinnitus 

25. Buzzing all over body 

26. Irregular temperature (randomly hot and cold) especially in legs and feet

27. Loss of appetite

28. Electrical hypersensitivity in limbs and chest

29. chest tightness and pain

30. diarrhea + constipation 

31. stomach butterflies

32. severe teeth and gum pain 

33. palm sweating 

34. insomnia/broken sleep/cannot doze off anymore

35. neuropathy; pins + needles ; buzzing numbness (especially in hands and feet)

36. Weight gain / Increase in appetite

37. Skin numbness and wrinkled skin

38. Weakness/Malaise/Fatigue

40. Acne on forehead

41. Throat burning (feels like a cold burn inside)

42. See flashing lights and floaters when eyes are closed for sleep

43. Panic attacks

44. Headaches

45. Pulling sensation in chest/throat area

46. Visual after image aura when looking at objects

47. Visual snow (usually can only see at night)

48. Body lags like slow movement; cannot move body like normal especially when turning my body

49. Lowered sexual drive

 

Mental symptoms

1. Severe anxiety

2. Severe depression

3. Suicidal ideation

4. Looping songs (The WORST mental symptom by far!)

5. Vivid intense dreams

6. Intrusive, racing thoughts 

7. OCD 

8. Anhedonia

9. Derealization

(Other than the looping songs and severe anxiety, the other mental sxs now just come and go)

 

 

So all the ones in blue are the ones I still have to this very day. Thankfully, the physical symptoms have died down in intensity and it seems as if I have finally entered the windows and waves pattern of this process. All year I had 24/7 sxs with no breaks so it's been a relief to finally feel some windows this month, even though they aren't 100% windows yet. I noticed that my sleep has improved in which I can actually fall asleep without my muscles jerking or waking up so many times in the middle of the night. But I still don't yawn or feel that nice sleepy feeling before dozing off. So I have to always just force myself to sleep by closing my eyes and just lying in bed until sleep comes. I wish I could nap but that still hasn't made any progress yet. 

 

Unfortunately, the mental symptoms still attack me like crazy though! Especially the looping music, OCD, and the severe anxiety. The other mental ones come and go at varying intensity. When the waves are REALLY bad, then all my mental sxs rev up. 

 

Anyways, that's my progress as of right now. I haven't taken any vitamins, supplements, CBD... absolutely nothing. Everyday I just wake up, eat what I can, go about my day the best I can (I just deal with school right now), and then go home and try to get some sleep. During down time, I force myself out of the house so I don't have to sit at home with my symptoms. However, I haven't exercised because I am lazy and I feel like my anxiety actually ramps up a bit when I do exercise. This compounded with me not eating healthy has made me gain weight. It is very unfortunate but I literally feel like I just need to be a sloth right now and take WD as it comes. I just pray I see more improvement in the next 6 months. 

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LexAnger

dear Anongrl, 

 

thanks for the comprehensive update!

congratulations to your anniversary being off the poison!

 

you are an aspiration pushing through the heavy roads with so many nasty symptoms! 

I have faith in you and your streghth will carry you to the other side with full recovery soon! 

 

Love vey and hugs,

Lex

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Chicago77

This is great!! Thanks so much for the update! I think it really helps when you write it all down and can see where you have improved. You have come a long way and you should be so proud of yourself!! Keep going! This next year will be even better for you! :)   

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anongrl5590

Love you both, LexAnger and Chicago77! You both have been such good companions through this entire journey! We are walking through this together :):wub:!

 

I will say that my symptoms are getting better nowadays but I am not feeling 100% windows yet. I would say I have been feeling 90% windows more now if anything! All the symptoms I listed above are still with me but they do not hinder me as much from doing my schooling and living life basically. I can definitely focus more on school now and hanging with friends and doing things I normally like to do. And the waves are still coming but they aren't as crazy intense which I think is a good sign. 


The only main symptoms that won't go away nor have improved and are still intense are the eye floaters and the OCD looping music in my head :( These two are the MOST stubborn of all! I fear these 2 symptoms are permanent because they don't go away even when I have windows... so there must be something completely wrong, right? 

 

Anyways, I hope you both and the other individuals whom I've kept in touch with continue to see improvement and if you haven't yet, at least see improvement soon. I am rooting for you all! We walk this crazy journey together. Keep holding on everyone!

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bheb

Hi anongirl, just read through your thread. I also cold turkeyed prozac, but because a had bad symptoms as side effects not withdrawal (though I may be in wd now). Just wanted to say I relate to feeling like the youngest one on here! I'm 21, and had my first adverse reaction at 19. I'm not sure why there aren't as many young people on here, but it often makes me second guess my experience. I'm supposed to be resilient at this age right?? But no.

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anongrl5590
11 hours ago, bheb said:

Hi anongirl, just read through your thread. I also cold turkeyed prozac, but because a had bad symptoms as side effects not withdrawal (though I may be in wd now). Just wanted to say I relate to feeling like the youngest one on here! I'm 21, and had my first adverse reaction at 19. I'm not sure why there aren't as many young people on here, but it often makes me second guess my experience. I'm supposed to be resilient at this age right?? But no.

 

Hey bheb, Sorry to hear you're going through this too. It really sucks to be young and have to endure something so life ruining like this at the same time. I totally understand and at least we can relate since we are in our 20's. Just know you have support here!

 

 

 

By the way, today I am not having a good day at all. Been in a BAD wave since yesterday. I felt very weak, my skin was buzzing, mind chatter going 1000 mph, songs looping in my head as usual. And then when I tried to go to sleep last night, I barely had any sleep. I kept waking up to buzzing, burning pain in my entire body! I also felt hot and had to turn on the ceiling fan and open the window. The looping music was playing in my head like crazy and the mind chatter wouldn't stop! It probably took about an hour or  2 before I was able to feel more comfortable and fall back asleep. But of course, I woke up with the same symptoms again with much more buzzing, burning pain centered around my chest and abdomen. Feeling depressed today and wishing my windows didn't have to stop. Another day of survival. 

 

P.S. I think my libido is still down actually... It has improved since the beginning of my WD process, but now at 12 months out, I am still not experiencing a great improvement in that department. I don't feel that nice pleasure that someone normally should feel. It's frustrating.

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bheb
On 10/7/2017 at 4:58 PM, anongrl5590 said:

Hey bheb, Sorry to hear you're going through this too. It really sucks to be young and have to endure something so life ruining like this at the same time. I totally understand and at least we can relate since we are in our 20's. Just know you have support here!

 

Thank you! I know it's quite difficult because right now things are changing so much...I never know who's going to be in my life month to month or what career path I need to be working towards. Those uncertainties used to be exciting and motivating to me, but they just make things harder with drug reactions and withdrawals. But I know those things can crop up at any age.

 

How are you doing today?

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anongrl5590
On 11/7/2017 at 3:23 AM, bheb said:

 

Thank you! I know it's quite difficult because right now things are changing so much...I never know who's going to be in my life month to month or what career path I need to be working towards. Those uncertainties used to be exciting and motivating to me, but they just make things harder with drug reactions and withdrawals. But I know those things can crop up at any age.

 

How are you doing today?

 

Hey bheb - 

 

Yes, the struggles you talk about are my struggles too and are definitely harder during drug withdrawal. I can say that I have come out a VERY bad month long wave in October. My physical and mental symptoms had ramped up exponentially last month to the point that I kept having suicidal thoughts and the strong urges to attempt.  But thankfully I survived that god awful wave. I'm now at month 14 and as of the last 3 days, my body has been doing fairly ok... maybe 60% functional. Still dealing with severe racing thoughts 24/7, music looping in my head 24/7, eye floaters, some tinnitus here and there, brain burning, burning in my limbs, adrenaline rushes, brain pressure, bodily temperature changes, and other ones that are probably too many to list. But it's been somewhat more manageable this week. I know these crazy waves and windows will keep coming so I'm just trying my hardest to keep afloat and not get sucked into the severe depression and anxiety from this. 

 

Hope you're doing ok, bheb!

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bheb

That's so good to hear!

 

I've been up and down with some new benzo wd symptoms but pretty much back to feeling like I did before from my adverse reaction. Month 11 for me soon. I've been able to distract a little recently, and also keep myself from being sucked into depression about all this too.

 

Hope things keep improving for you and those racing thoughts die down.

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LexAnger

You are a hero Anongrl ! 

Your strenth and resilience to survive and fight against this most horrodous battle is very inspiring!

 

Wish you more healing and many bigger and clear windows!

love and hugs,

lex

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Hellbutrin
On 11/12/2017 at 1:11 PM, anongrl5590 said:

 

Hey bheb - 

 

Yes, the struggles you talk about are my struggles too and are definitely harder during drug withdrawal. I can say that I have come out a VERY bad month long wave in October. My physical and mental symptoms had ramped up exponentially last month to the point that I kept having suicidal thoughts and the strong urges to attempt.  But thankfully I survived that god awful wave. I'm now at month 14 and as of the last 3 days, my body has been doing fairly ok... maybe 60% functional. Still dealing with severe racing thoughts 24/7, music looping in my head 24/7, eye floaters, some tinnitus here and there, brain burning, burning in my limbs, adrenaline rushes, brain pressure, bodily temperature changes, and other ones that are probably too many to list. But it's been somewhat more manageable this week. I know these crazy waves and windows will keep coming so I'm just trying my hardest to keep afloat and not get sucked into the severe depression and anxiety from this. 

 

Hope you're doing ok, bheb!

Hi anongrl,

 

How are you doing now? I'm 10 months out from a C/T and we seem to have a similar situation as far as our ages and how long we were on ADs. Have you seen any progress in your recovery? I'm still struggling so much. 

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