powerback: tapering no 2

[Lakelander82]

Hi Powerback, you can’t recieve PMs for some reason? 

[powerback]

1 minute ago, Lakelander82 said:

Hi Powerback, you can’t recieve PMs for some reason? 

mite be my end ,ile clear some space.

[wantrelief]

5 hours ago, powerback said:

never mind setting up life on mars ,if Elon musk suffered withdrawl or mental health "issues" I know were he's billions would be going . to me the power of withdrawal is the most fascinating thing on the planet for now anyhow ,I will gladly change this opinion when it is  over and find healthier fascinations .

I've thought the exact same thing about Elon Musk! I too will be so happy when I can find other things to focus on.  I am glad you got everything checked just to make sure for piece of mind.

[powerback]

51 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

I've thought the exact same thing about Elon Musk! I too will be so happy when I can find other things to focus on.  I am glad you got everything checked just to make sure for piece of mind.

extreme health anxiety my self critic will call it Wantrelief ,but I couldn't ignore how weak I was getting .after Thursdays bloods I'm finished with them again .I will go around with a do not touch me of resuscitate sign 

Thanks W ,I hope your well .

 

 

[powerback]

Back from dentist ,got my first filling ,I mite be able to do it  without  anaesthetic he says ,so I was happy with that but very anxious.the mindfulness came in handy to remember to breath  .some pain but didn't take long .

Bloods tomorrow .when they come back fine all it does is reinforce the withdrawl myth to doctors .there problem not mine I suppose .

Listening  on the radio here to a  man call antidepressants a  "chemical straight jacket" and he is terrified of ever touching another ,what  a lucky man to be away from it unscaved  .

 

[dj2010]

2 hours ago, powerback said:

Back from dentist ,got my first filling ,I mite be able to do it  without  anaesthetic he says ,so I was happy with that but very anxious.the mindfulness came in handy to remember to breath  .some pain but didn't take long .

Bloods tomorrow .when they come back fine all it does is reinforce the withdrawl myth to doctors .there problem not mine I suppose .

Listening  on the radio here to a  man call antidepressants a  "chemical straight jacket" and he is terrified of ever touching another ,what  a lucky man to be away from it unscaved  .

 

thats great, I am happy it all went well and you did the right thing doing without anaesthetic, bet thats a big weight off your shoulders now got it over and done with, coincidental my daughter has just had a nightmare at the dentist today, had a filling this morning and had to have anaesthetic, noticed this afternoon the whole right hand side of her face was drooping and she couldn't smile or use any muscles in the right hand side, ive just stormed the dentist office asking whats happened, they said the anaesthetic has gone to her nerve and to go back if it is still same in 2 days time, 

 

good luck with the bloods tomorrow, I am sure all will be fine and it will give you some peace of mind and lessen some health anxiety, it is always a relief when get the all clear with blood tests,

 

yeh chemical straightjacket is the perfect word for them,

 

take care

[powerback]

6 minutes ago, dj2010 said:

thats great, I am happy it all went well and you did the right thing doing without anaesthetic, bet thats a big weight off your shoulders now got it over and done with, coincidental my daughter has just had a nightmare at the dentist today, had a filling this morning and had to have anaesthetic, noticed this afternoon the whole right hand side of her face was drooping and she couldn't smile or use any muscles in the right hand side, ive just stormed the dentist office asking whats happened, they said the anaesthetic has gone to her nerve and to go back if it is still same in 2 days time, 

 

good luck with the bloods tomorrow, I am sure all will be fine and it will give you some peace of mind and lessen some health anxiety, it is always a relief when get the all clear with blood tests,

 

yeh chemical straightjacket is the perfect word for them,

 

take care

The filling is nothing DJ ,ive to get all the implant work done but I'm too stressed to deal with the work .my front tooth is years on a crown ,2 actually .the root wont survive ,so out and in with an implant or bridge.

Ah bless your daughter man ,2 DAYS .they should be super cautious with kids .

 

My serious depression is the problem to everything I think ,I'm in a rock and a hard place with some things in my life ,withdrawl or no withdrawl they needed tackling .ile just put blind faith into it and deal with what happens .

 

Take care mate and I hope your daughters face gets back to normal quick ,you don't need that stress .

 

 

[dj2010]

1 minute ago, powerback said:

The filling is nothing DJ ,ive to get all the implant work done but I'm too stressed to deal with the work .my front tooth is years on a crown ,2 actually .the root wont survive ,so out and in with an implant or bridge.

Ah bless your daughter man ,2 DAYS .they should be super cautious with kids .

 

My serious depression is the problem to everything I think ,I'm in a rock and a hard place with some things in my life ,withdrawl or no withdrawl they needed tackling .ile just put blind faith into it and deal with what happens .

 

Take care mate and I hope your daughters face gets back to normal quick ,you don't need that stress .

 

 

nightmare sounds like a lot of work needs doing so yeh deal with it when feeling better as last thing you need at the moment,

 

yeh im not happy, thought was a stroke or something at first then realised it was her right side, still was in a panic, 

 

you need to tackle whatever problems you think is causing your depression head on, it wont help if let them linger, need to remember also that withdrawal will be amplifying everything, feel free to pm me if need to talk about anything,

 

going to settle down now,  have a nice evening

 

cheers

[powerback]

1 hour ago, dj2010 said:

nightmare sounds like a lot of work needs doing so yeh deal with it when feeling better as last thing you need at the moment,

 

yeh im not happy, thought was a stroke or something at first then realised it was her right side, still was in a panic, 

 

you need to tackle whatever problems you think is causing your depression head on, it wont help if let them linger, need to remember also that withdrawal will be amplifying everything, feel free to pm me if need to talk about anything,

 

going to settle down now,  have a nice evening

 

cheers

Thanks DJ sound I appreciate that .

Take care .

Since I'm in a brutal honest mood ,I wish for people to look at there issues head on also.my main advice is about alcohol ,about 18 years ago is when I broke that tooth ,all because of alcohol is the only reason .fell drunk .

I'm happy I'm sober now that's for sure .even tho the flashbacks sting.

Peace .

[powerback]

I've just read a member saying they don't take there med with food ,I take my dose at 7am and don't until about 10 .

Ide love any mods or members opinion on this thanks .

[Kristine]

Hey PB, Just popping in to say Hi  I see you have had a trip to the dentist...without an anaesthetic  you are braver than I !!! I'm hoping you are feeling better in that department. I know things are tough...just want you to know I'm thinking of you.  As far as your above question about food and meds....I'm not sure...I do know that many supplements should be taken with food..for example omega3 should be taken with some form of fat (ie milk) to optimise absorption. Much Love K xo

[powerback]

46 minutes ago, Kristine said:

Hey PB, Just popping in to say Hi  I see you have had a trip to the dentist...without an anaesthetic  you are braver than I !!! I'm hoping you are feeling better in that department. I know things are tough...just want you to know I'm thinking of you.  As far as your above question about food and meds....I'm not sure...I do know that many supplements should be taken with food..for example omega3 should be taken with some form of fat (ie milk) to optimise absorption. Much Love K xo

Hi K ,I'm just back from doctors ,I got bloods done after a fast ,it was a good 16 hours no food ,my poor system .I'm a proper hypochondriac.5 tubes were taken ,so you being a nurse will know there checking a lot .

Ye it wasn't to bad ,a little painful .I never had a filling before ,it didn't take long .dentist and needles the last 2 days so I'm relieved its done .

I'm sticking to the 6 month check up from now on .3 years since my last trip .

I'm here today with the cotton wool feeling back in my brain ,I went to bed last night very early with brutal depression .I'm going away next week so I must get in going away mode to brighten myself up .

Hope your well K . 

[powerback]

1 hour ago, powerback said:

I've just read a member saying they don't take there med with food ,I take my dose at 7am and don't until about 10 .

Ide love any mods or members opinion on this thanks .

and don't eat 

[Miko789]

Hi Powerback,

 

going to the dentist,  don't worry about  the implant will go smooth.

 

 going to do some blood test too to check.

 

[powerback]

1 hour ago, Miko789 said:

Hi Powerback,

 

going to the dentist,  don't worry about  the implant will go smooth.

 

 going to do some blood test too to check.

 

Cheers Miko ,I'm wanting to put the work off until I'm a little more well but for what ever reason I'm just getting worse . nightmare.

Thanks and take care

[joy2730]

Hi Powerback

 

So much of what you write resonates with me.

 

In withdrawal years ago I once turned up for church on a Saturday instead of Sunday.

 

I too have aching bones and terrible nightmares when withdrawal sets in, also stomach troubles. 

 

I too grew up hanging on every word from the doctor, like you I now know they are just in this mess with us and are powerless to help.  They must feel very frustrated.

 

Hope things are a little better with your partner/girlfriend, but we can't expect miracles with our personal relationships.  Withdrawal must seem very selfish and indulgent to those that don't know.  My relationship with my husband and son is completely shattered but due to finances/legal issues, but having seen me in withdrawal from various meds over the years has certainly weakened their respect for me.

 

I am in good place at the moment re my citalopram withdrawal, no symptoms and feeling well despite many external stressors.  I have learnt to be tough emotionally over the years, but I do find the physical withdrawal and mood changes difficult.

 

I think you are doing well as you are now down to low doses - I can only dream of doing that well.

 

I am also getting better at not wanting to blank troubles out by drinking myself into oblivion.  Drinking, like taking prescription drugs, only blunts it doesn't solve, and it doesn't empower, it only makes you weaker.  It also helps to wreck physical health.

 

Also love your comment about the heroin addicts being in a better place than you - I so know that feeling.  There is also more public recognition of heroin addiction.

 

Hope you are hanging in there and feeling OK today.

 

Joy

[powerback]

3 hours ago, joy2730 said:

Hi Powerback

 

So much of what you write resonates with me.

 

In withdrawal years ago I once turned up for church on a Saturday instead of Sunday.

 

I too have aching bones and terrible nightmares when withdrawal sets in, also stomach troubles. 

 

I too grew up hanging on every word from the doctor, like you I now know they are just in this mess with us and are powerless to help.  They must feel very frustrated.

 

Hope things are a little better with your partner/girlfriend, but we can't expect miracles with our personal relationships.  Withdrawal must seem very selfish and indulgent to those that don't know.  My relationship with my husband and son is completely shattered but due to finances/legal issues, but having seen me in withdrawal from various meds over the years has certainly weakened their respect for me.

 

I am in good place at the moment re my citalopram withdrawal, no symptoms and feeling well despite many external stressors.  I have learnt to be tough emotionally over the years, but I do find the physical withdrawal and mood changes difficult.

 

I think you are doing well as you are now down to low doses - I can only dream of doing that well.

 

I am also getting better at not wanting to blank troubles out by drinking myself into oblivion.  Drinking, like taking prescription drugs, only blunts it doesn't solve, and it doesn't empower, it only makes you weaker.  It also helps to wreck physical health.

 

Also love your comment about the heroin addicts being in a better place than you - I so know that feeling.  There is also more public recognition of heroin addiction.

 

Hope you are hanging in there and feeling OK today.

 

Joy

Hi Joy lovely post from the heart .

I'm forcing spinach leaves with beans and cabbage down me  here , I'm craving  takeaway pizza for weeks now ,the carb craving must be down to stress .thank goodness it's not drink I'm craving ,the longer my sobriety goes on the more I'm disgusted by my past ,I'm getting very strong flashbacks now that takes alot to Wade through.

Thanks for poping by ,that's great your in a good place with your taper.

 

I have a different slant on my dose of drug ,I've never been past 75mg and on 37.5 for way too long .so I have thoughts of I could be at zero now if I didnt keep holding and thinking of external factors instead keeping straight and steady forward with my taper.

People are peplexed looking at me ,I look great but feel horrendous .

Have nice weekend joy.

[BAT]

Hello Power back. 

I'm sorry your going through this.

 

I have a couple questions..

 

What medication are you on?

 

Where have you lost muscle mass at? I have lost a lot of muscle mass and it makes me disgusted looking at myself.

 

What type of blood tests are they doing?

[powerback]

6 minutes ago, BAT said:

Hello Power back. 

I'm sorry your going through this.

 

I have a couple questions..

 

What medication are you on?

 

Where have you lost muscle mass at? I have lost a lot of muscle mass and it makes me disgusted looking at myself.

 

What type of blood tests are they doing?

Hi bat how are you .

venlafaxine is my med .

muscles ,ive lost power more than mass but I have lost some mass ,when I gave up drink more than 3 years ago I lost loads of weight  also .Age can be a factor also with loss of mass .

Since November I noticed the power going in my muscles but the last 2 months has been a joke .

I think my depression is causing a lot of my problems.

bloods. Testosterone, diabetes ,vitamin D ,he's doing loads .ile keep you posted when I get the results in 2 weeks.

.the nurse was amazed that I asked for a print out of all the information, it just shows you how much trust we all have in the system ,we wait for a text to say everything is fine but ide rather have a look at the numbers myself .

they said my partners bloods were fine one day ,but when I looked her vitiman D and B12 they  were at the lower percentage ,ide rather have this in the middle to upper .

  

[apace41]

56 minutes ago, powerback said:

they said my partners bloods were fine one day ,but when I looked her vitiman D and B12 they  were at the lower percentage ,ide rather have this in the middle to upper .

 

This is a good point, PB, as we have to remember that the "range" that is established is based on the readings obtained from a largely chronically ill society.  If you go into the literature in the functional medicine world you can find "optimal" ranges for most of these tests.  E.g., the Vitamin D level that is "acceptable" is usually around 25 (US measurements -- not sure they translate) where as the functional world wants you closer to 50 or more.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[powerback]

15 minutes ago, apace41 said:

 

This is a good point, PB, as we have to remember that the "range" that is established is based on the readings obtained from a largely chronically ill society.  If you go into the literature in the functional medicine world you can find "optimal" ranges for most of these tests.  E.g., the Vitamin D level that is "acceptable" is usually around 25 (US measurements -- not sure they translate) where as the functional world wants you closer to 50 or more.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Exactly Apace ,there must be countless patients going around on the bare optimal level and any cold or virus can deplete there numbers to way under normal .but hey who am I to say anything ,I haven't got the credentials .I was forced into trying to understand the body and health  so maybe ile thank withdrawl when I'm out the other end .

Hope your well A 

[powerback]

I like this explanation of the super ego ,the bit that really resonated with me was from about 25minutes on ,this explains a lot about why i am suffering so badly with my mental health in withdrawl ,but I've probably always had a damaged super ego i reckon .very interesting . 

[dj2010]

20 hours ago, powerback said:

Hi Joy lovely post from the heart .

I'm forcing spinach leaves with beans and cabbage down me  here , I'm craving  takeaway pizza for weeks now ,the carb craving must be down to stress .thank goodness it's not drink I'm craving ,the longer my sobriety goes on the more I'm disgusted by my past ,I'm getting very strong flashbacks now that takes alot to Wade through.

Thanks for poping by ,that's great your in a good place with your taper.

 

I have a different slant on my dose of drug ,I've never been past 75mg and on 37.5 for way too long .so I have thoughts of I could be at zero now if I didnt keep holding and thinking of external factors instead keeping straight and steady forward with my taper.

People are peplexed looking at me ,I look great but feel horrendous .

Have nice weekend joy.

Hi PB, its good to hear you are no longer craving the drink, it makes me feel sick even thinking about touching alcohol now, I know what you mean about flashbacks, I am also horrified with my past, the drink mixed with meds turned me into a monster and a lot of bad things happened and a lot of people got hurt,

 

If you are craving pizza then have a pizza, don't let withdrawal take all of life's pleasures from you, few slices of pizza here and there wont do any harm,

 

For some reason I thought you was at 75mg, 37mg is quite good and you have not really got that far to go, you are actually in quite a good position even though you might not feel like you are,

 

hope you are well today, take care

[powerback]

39 minutes ago, dj2010 said:

Hi PB, its good to hear you are no longer craving the drink, it makes me feel sick even thinking about touching alcohol now, I know what you mean about flashbacks, I am also horrified with my past, the drink mixed with meds turned me into a monster and a lot of bad things happened and a lot of people got hurt,

 

If you are craving pizza then have a pizza, don't let withdrawal take all of life's pleasures from you, few slices of pizza here and there wont do any harm,

 

For some reason I thought you was at 75mg, 37mg is quite good and you have not really got that far to go, you are actually in quite a good position even though you might not feel like you are,

 

hope you are well today, take care

Hi DJ good morning my friend,i need to catch that horrible feeling from the flashback and turn it into positive and rejoice in the fact I no longer waste my time drinking but its very hard these days.i need a lot more hobbies and keep busy creating nice memories .

 

Ive done so much research into health and diet its now hard to eat this stuff for me, so I've come up with a compromise  ,instead of getting an expensive takeout ,ile grab one from the supermarket instead lol,i sat here a few times tormenting myself with the menu on the screen looking at the juicy food .I also binge eat but I'm much better at not doing this since I eat healthy ,the brain doesn't like to binge eat broccoli and cabbage.it would actually shock you if you did any research into the food industry ,there no different than any other greedy industry

.MSG is basically a chemical flavour enhancer put into food that tricks us into thinking food is nicer than it is ,thus we then crave it .sorry DJ I'm putting a downer on your tasty food . we don't think of food tricking our brain and playing a roll on our system and behaviour but we are well aware what part meds play on us ,of course meds are much more serious but you get my drift .

 

If I look back my attitude was as equally toxic to food as it was alcohol but the drink was much more serious .

 

75 was the dose I was at before I was a member of SA ,my doctor had told me 75 to 37.5 was no problem and then my system slowly wore down to the point I am dealing with the last 18 months. 

Hope your daughter has resolved her dental issue and have a good day ,hope the sun appears it getting ridiculous in Ireland with the weather .

[dj2010]

2 hours ago, powerback said:

Hi DJ good morning my friend,i need to catch that horrible feeling from the flashback and turn it into positive and rejoice in the fact I no longer waste my time drinking but its very hard these days.i need a lot more hobbies and keep busy creating nice memories .

 

Ive done so much research into health and diet its now hard to eat this stuff for me, so I've come up with a compromise  ,instead of getting an expensive takeout ,ile grab one from the supermarket instead lol,i sat here a few times tormenting myself with the menu on the screen looking at the juicy food .I also binge eat but I'm much better at not doing this since I eat healthy ,the brain doesn't like to binge eat broccoli and cabbage.it would actually shock you if you did any research into the food industry ,there no different than any other greedy industry

.MSG is basically a chemical flavour enhancer put into food that tricks us into thinking food is nicer than it is ,thus we then crave it .sorry DJ I'm putting a downer on your tasty food . we don't think of food tricking our brain and playing a roll on our system and behaviour but we are well aware what part meds play on us ,of course meds are much more serious but you get my drift .

 

If I look back my attitude was as equally toxic to food as it was alcohol but the drink was much more serious .

 

75 was the dose I was at before I was a member of SA ,my doctor had told me 75 to 37.5 was no problem and then my system slowly wore down to the point I am dealing with the last 18 months. 

Hope your daughter has resolved her dental issue and have a good day ,hope the sun appears it getting ridiculous in Ireland with the weather .

yeh much healthier the ones from the supermarket, if have morrisons in Ireland you can tell them what you want on your pizza so can load it with veg etc and then can cook at home, not had pizza in quite a while myself though,

 

true its shocking what the food industry does, I try to stick to organic as much as possible but its quite limited, it should be the other way round, rows of isles full of foods with no poisons/pesticides on and a small section with non organic, im just enjoying a organic vegtable smoothie now

 

daughters dental issue is sorted now thank god,

 

your doing excellent, you will be fine

[powerback]

I need to log today for the disaster its been ,brain on fire ,exhausted , I just had my head out the window for fresh air ,I could feel a panic attack surfacing ,my breathing is shallow and I'm often catching my breathe ,my parents arrived to visit ,so I had to try and cope with my symptoms ,the conversation came about a local man that died that I went to school with and it nearly freaked me out ,the last thing I want to be talking about in this state .this situation is worse than the plague ,I cant and others shouldn't be around me .

My poor mother ,I couldn't hide how bad I was feeling today ,god help the women ,I could scream with the mess I find myself in ,I just wish I could cry and let all this tension ooze from my body .the poor women wanted to give me Xanax ,I passed .it must be hard for her to look at because her generation and friends would pop these pills and no problems .its quite the experience when you find yourself living in actual hell .  

Sorry for any triggers .I need a rant ..peace to every one of us.

[Itzakadoozee]

50 minutes ago, powerback said:

I need to log today for the disaster its been ,brain on fire ,exhausted , I just had my head out the window for fresh air ,I could feel a panic attack surfacing ,my breathing is shallow and I'm often catching my breathe ,my parents arrived to visit ,so I had to try and cope with my symptoms ,the conversation came about a local man that died that I went to school with and it nearly freaked me out ,the last thing I want to be talking about in this state .this situation is worse than the plague ,I cant and others shouldn't be around me .

My poor mother ,I couldn't hide how bad I was feeling today ,god help the women ,I could scream with the mess I find myself in ,I just wish I could cry and let all this tension ooze from my body .the poor women wanted to give me Xanax ,I passed .it must be hard for her to look at because her generation and friends would pop these pills and no problems .its quite the experience when you find yourself living in actual hell .  

Sorry for any triggers .I need a rant ..peace to every one of us.

Withdrawal is truly hell...truly 

[powerback]

6 minutes ago, Itzakadoozee said:

Withdrawal is truly hell...truly 

Hello IZD thanks for stopping by ,your correct with the hell .I said to my mother earlier it must be Kara ,ide hate to know what I must of been in a past life .

Trying to float and not fight my symptoms to much ,with the anxiety ,holding the breathe is a bad habit.

Take care and I hope you find some joy . 

[powerback]

Ive liked this guy Daniel mackler for a while .

[dj2010]

17 hours ago, powerback said:

I need to log today for the disaster its been ,brain on fire ,exhausted , I just had my head out the window for fresh air ,I could feel a panic attack surfacing ,my breathing is shallow and I'm often catching my breathe ,my parents arrived to visit ,so I had to try and cope with my symptoms ,the conversation came about a local man that died that I went to school with and it nearly freaked me out ,the last thing I want to be talking about in this state .this situation is worse than the plague ,I cant and others shouldn't be around me .

My poor mother ,I couldn't hide how bad I was feeling today ,god help the women ,I could scream with the mess I find myself in ,I just wish I could cry and let all this tension ooze from my body .the poor women wanted to give me Xanax ,I passed .it must be hard for her to look at because her generation and friends would pop these pills and no problems .its quite the experience when you find yourself living in actual hell .  

Sorry for any triggers .I need a rant ..peace to every one of us.

sorry to hear this, how are you feeling today?

[powerback]

7 hours ago, dj2010 said:

sorry to hear this, how are you feeling today?

Thanks DJ ye it was quite the weekend ,thanks for your reply .today I had to go and do some shopping and my brain just wouldn't work ,my intrusive thoughts are raging and have me worried but I got on with the day and got what I needed ,I was nearly brought to my knees with fear after seeing a man with blood all over him and a gash on he's head ,no judgement but he was an unsavoury character ,I took a side street short cut on the town I went to ,but this fear is frightening ,every muscle nearly stopped working but I kept the deep breathes and tried keeping the raging critic at bay

,this just shows how sensitive my system is ,then I went to the supermarket and dropped me blueberries ,this was funny ,but I just kept using the mindfulness and pushed on .

I would love to get a handle on  these raging intrusive thoughts ,I cant expect to live with this for my future ,I got fairly despondent and worrying my future involves roaming the streets with no hope .I know this is catastrophizing but it scares me if the mind gets out of control and I cant live a functional independent life .sorry for any triggers .

I'm going to Scotland on Wednesday so I'm looking forward to it .

Hope your well DJ  

[powerback]

I just wanted to add to the above post ,I was walking in a shopping today and I did a few laps because the brain fog was strong ,I walked past a lady a few times that was basically being thought how to use a stick for impaired vision ,my usual nasty thoughts were doing my head in  but this really struck a cord with me because of her determination and spirit to deal with her issue was inspiring ,I suppose the message we can learn is never give up and keep going  .

I do realise how we suffer is horrible but there is a world out there dealing with what comes there way .

Peace.

[wantrelief]

16 minutes ago, powerback said:

I just wanted to add to the above post ,I was walking in a shopping today and I did a few laps because the brain fog was strong ,I walked past a lady a few times that was basically being thought how to use a stick for impaired vision ,my usual nasty thoughts were doing my head in  but this really struck a cord with me because of her determination and spirit to deal with her issue was inspiring ,I suppose the message we can learn is never give up and keep going  .

I do realise how we suffer is horrible but there is a world out there dealing with what comes there way .

Peace.

This was a beautiful post....thank you, Powerback.  

[powerback]

11 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

This was a beautiful post....thank you, Powerback.  

Your welcome Wantrelief ,it really struck a cord during a heavy day of symptoms ,of course we need to guard ourselves but getting out and testing our copeing strategies and seeing the world is a must also .

Take care W  

[Dalalea]

8 hours ago, powerback said:

the message we can learn is never give up and keep going

That is so true! Sometimes the best lessons are right in front of us.

[dj2010]

14 hours ago, powerback said:

Thanks DJ ye it was quite the weekend ,thanks for your reply .today I had to go and do some shopping and my brain just wouldn't work ,my intrusive thoughts are raging and have me worried but I got on with the day and got what I needed ,I was nearly brought to my knees with fear after seeing a man with blood all over him and a gash on he's head ,no judgement but he was an unsavoury character ,I took a side street short cut on the town I went to ,but this fear is frightening ,every muscle nearly stopped working but I kept the deep breathes and tried keeping the raging critic at bay

,this just shows how sensitive my system is ,then I went to the supermarket and dropped me blueberries ,this was funny ,but I just kept using the mindfulness and pushed on .

I would love to get a handle on  these raging intrusive thoughts ,I cant expect to live with this for my future ,I got fairly despondent and worrying my future involves roaming the streets with no hope .I know this is catastrophizing but it scares me if the mind gets out of control and I cant live a functional independent life .sorry for any triggers .

I'm going to Scotland on Wednesday so I'm looking forward to it .

Hope your well DJ  

sorry to hear this PB, sounds like you had a lot of anxiety and was in the fight or flight mode, it might be worth looking at doing a online CBT course to help with this,

 

hope you are well today and have a nice trip away, try and get plenty of hiking done in the Scottish hills,

 

take care