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powerback: tapering no 2

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powerback
11 hours ago, Altostrata said:

pb, can you determine what effect Prozac has on you? How do you feel in the several hours after you take it?

Tension=high

anxiety =high/anticipatory anxiety =very high. 

intrusive/racing thoughts =high

Agoraphobia =high

Headaches =high

Mental akathisia = high

Noise sensitivity =high 

Mid afternoon fatigue =very high

 

,the mornings are back to being a nightmare .

to me it looks like taking the Effexor away has ramped these up ,thus making me wonder about upping  Prozac,A Dr would want me on at least 10mg ide say .

Thanks Alto ,I'm very aware this a mess but it was my decision [switch] .the clinical phycologist  i seen months ago recommended Prozac by the questionnaire i filed out  .i never got to the point of what he thinks the dose should be [probably past 20mg ide say ]

He instantly blamed me for my issues and dismissed all withdrawal talk and when i challenged him about evidence for me doing this to myself he looked through me [who's going to listen to me when he's walls are full of nice picture frames with accredited diplomas from wherever it may be     ,I'm triggered by the building so its not an option to go near him again .

For all my DRs ignorance he is a fairly cool guy ,everywhere i turn seems to be the Prozac route .

 

We need disaster stories like mine so as people have cases to remind themselves of how bad it gets and ground themselves that they will be ok if they follow the correct path [tongue in cheek lol]

 

Thanks Alto .

 

 

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Martina23
11 minutes ago, powerback said:

We need disaster stories like mine so as people have cases to remind themselves of how bad it gets and ground themselves that they will be ok if they follow the correct path [tongue in cheek lol]

Pb you are again blaming yourself. Please don´t do that. The doctors are to blame not you. That particular doctor who gave this mess to you, he is to blame not you. Just put your head up and tell yourself that you are a wonderful personality who had just bad luck, and that it is not your fault. You don´t deserve that. The doctor is ignorant and stupid and harmful. That is the point. You will feel better.

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powerback
3 minutes ago, Martina23 said:

Pb you are again blaming yourself. Please don´t do that. The doctors are to blame not you. That particular doctor who gave this mess to you, he is to blame not you. Just put your head up and tell yourself that you are a wonderful personality who had just bad luck, and that it is not your fault. You don´t deserve that. The doctor is ignorant and stupid and harmful. That is the point. You will feel better.

Hi Martina thanks for pulling me up on this .

I've a very dark sense of humour in to the bargain.

Me personally blaming doctors for everything gets me no were these days.

 

Im keeping aware of my self destructive behaviour .not to put a blame on anyone but my upbringing and environment and circumstances created a destructive self critic that's extrodianrly toxic ,its  been fed hugely in this process  and i cant control it .the fact I'm like this plays into some sort of DSM diagnosis .

I have surrounded myself with reasons to keep on the correct path [road blocks ].i have an idea for a couple of drawings or paintings to express this ,your help would be good someday.

I have a hurtful memory of drawing a heart[it was very good] for a science exam  at 14yrs old ,the teacher took me out of maths class to accuse me off cheating ,on the spot without anyone else around ,this kind of stuff sticks in kids. .ive got loads of toxic memories pushing me to the edge .

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btdt

Hi PB I have written a lot about prozac over the years and some about the prozac bridge tho I never tried it... I tried to find some of my wise already posted words as I am rusty now been gone a long time... I can['t find exactly what I was looking for but my thoughts (experience with prozac are touched on here... 

as well as a link about how we pick on ourselves in wd....it could be of some use to you. 

peace

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btdt

Deep despair, dread, doom, horror

Barbarannamated posted a topic in Symptoms and self-care

Most of us have expressed feeling dread, especially upon awakening. Depression (outside of withdrawal) is often worse in the morning and associated with early morning wakenings. How do dread and depression differ? My early morning cortisol panics have subsided but dread has taken over. I'm r...

Neuro-emotions

Healing posted a topic in Symptoms and self-care

...ouremotions are on a hair-trigger, amplified, and perseverative. We probably don't even know all of what's going on physically yet, but it includes diminished prefrontal lobe executive functions, rebound amygdala, dysregulated HPA, over-active adrenals, etc. Theneuro-emotions include --.

 

hope some of this helps  

peace to you

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Martina23
1 hour ago, powerback said:

Hi Martina thanks for pulling me up on this .

I've a very dark sense of humour in to the bargain.

Me personally blaming doctors for everything gets me no were these days.

 

Im keeping aware of my self destructive behaviour .not to put a blame on anyone but my upbringing and environment and circumstances created a destructive self critic that's extrodianrly toxic ,its  been fed hugely in this process  and i cant control it .the fact I'm like this plays into some sort of DSM diagnosis .

I have surrounded myself with reasons to keep on the correct path [road blocks ].i have an idea for a couple of drawings or paintings to express this ,your help would be good someday.

I have a hurtful memory of drawing a heart[it was very good] for a science exam  at 14yrs old ,the teacher took me out of maths class to accuse me off cheating ,on the spot without anyone else around ,this kind of stuff sticks in kids. .ive got loads of toxic memories pushing me to the edge .

Hi pb, you are right. I have it also. As a child I also felt as the worst from the whole class. I was very shy therefore I looked slow. So the boys gave me various names, it was very unconfortable. Since then I always had to fight not to be enough. Today these boys are policemen or not so good jobs but till now I have a problem to present myself before a huge group, because I see them before my eyes and I am afraid that the people would laugh. Even when they are not better. Actually this I dont say too often. But with the time I tried to live with this.

 

You have to work it through. This teacher had maybe complexes, there are such harsh people, they are not gods. If he would be so good, he woouldnt do a teacher. The old saying says, who knows something does it, who doesn´t know something he teaches it, and who doesnt do or teach then he criticizes it.

 

I know you will overcome this.

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powerback
3 minutes ago, Martina23 said:

Hi pb, you are right. I have it also. As a child I also felt as the worst from the whole class. I was very shy therefore I looked slow. So the boys gave me various names, it was very unconfortable. Since then I always had to fight not to be enough. Today these boys are policemen or not so good jobs but till now I have a problem to present myself before a huge group, because I see them before my eyes and I am afraid that the people would laugh. Even when they are not better. Actually this I dont say too often. But with the time I tried to live with this.

 

You have to work it through. This teacher had maybe complexes, there are such harsh people, they are not gods. If he would be so good, he woouldnt do a teacher. The old saying says, who knows something does it, who doesn´t know something he teaches it, and who doesnt do or teach then he criticizes it.

 

I know you will overcome this.

This teacher was extremely inappropriate ,he would spend half the class talking rubbish and play acting with students .I can see why the elite pay for top schools .anyway deep buried emotions are shooting up like a guizer .these schools turn a blind eye to the students  that don't perform like the top students .this is nothing new in Ireland .

I dream of being rich and giving these kids the chance and scholarships.this is a nicer dream than what I would have had a few years ago ,that dream would of been filled with all vacuous pointless  possessions .

 

 

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powerback
51 minutes ago, btdt said:

Deep despair, dread, doom, horror

Barbarannamated posted a topic in Symptoms and self-care

Most of us have expressed feeling dread, especially upon awakening. Depression (outside of withdrawal) is often worse in the morning and associated with early morning wakenings. How do dread and depression differ? My early morning cortisol panics have subsided but dread has taken over. I'm r...

Neuro-emotions

Healing posted a topic in Symptoms and self-care

...ouremotions are on a hair-trigger, amplified, and perseverative. We probably don't even know all of what's going on physically yet, but it includes diminished prefrontal lobe executive functions, rebound amygdala, dysregulated HPA, over-active adrenals, etc. Theneuro-emotions include --.

 

hope some of this helps  

peace to you

Thanks btdt.

in a dark day like today its all hands on deck.I'm missing some sort of gene to put up with all this .something very creepy is creeping up on me for months .this time of the day is the worst for me .so ile watch the clock and get past it.

Take care.

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Martina23
3 hours ago, powerback said:

This teacher was extremely inappropriate ,he would spend half the class talking rubbish and play acting with students .I can see why the elite pay for top schools .anyway deep buried emotions are shooting up like a guizer .these schools turn a blind eye to the students  that don't perform like the top students .this is nothing new in Ireland .

I dream of being rich and giving these kids the chance and scholarships.this is a nicer dream than what I would have had a few years ago ,that dream would of been filled with all vacuous pointless  possessions .

 

 

You know now I came from work when I was at work we talked to colleagues. I told them that maybe in some other countries there is more democracy and they wouldnt just put my complaint away. They were so nice, they told me that it would be in almost every country because I am alone, if we protest 200 they wouldnt put it away. It calmed me because I thought they do it because I am a foreigner.

 

You can still be rich. Many people were on the street and if they followed their dreams they became rich. You can still do a lot from you (and forget the stupid teacher).

 

And you are already somewhat rich. Because now you see with your soul what is important. So you actually gained a lot. Palace in soul is more important than three hundred cars before the house.

 

So just nurture yourself and see that you have your all life before you. You can still do a lot.

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Altostrata

powerback -- you're saying these symptoms INCREASE in the hours after you take Prozac?

 

On 1/11/2019 at 3:40 AM, powerback said:

Tension=high

anxiety =high/anticipatory anxiety =very high. 

intrusive/racing thoughts =high

Agoraphobia =high

Headaches =high

Mental akathisia = high

Noise sensitivity =high 

Mid afternoon fatigue =very high

 

What time do you take Prozac? What happens in the late afternoon? How's your sleep?

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Carmie

Hi Powerback, 

 

Just wanted to pop around and send you some hugs. I appreciate the encouraging things you write on other people’s threads despite what you’re going through yourself. My brain isn’t functioning great at the moment but I vaguely remember you saying something on another thread about that person jumping on your life raft with you. Did I get that right? Can I join you?😄

 

Speaking of life rafts, I went to an aqua park the other weekend and they gave you a life jacket. I looooved the life jacket. You can just jump into the water and float, it takes no effort. I really want to buy a life jacket now so I can float in the water when I don’t have the strength to do anything else ( I have CFS ). I’m a major water freak!🌊🌊🌊🌊💦💦💦💦💦

 

Thanks for the positivity you share despite the pain you’re in💚

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powerback
8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

powerback -- you're saying these symptoms INCREASE in the hours after you take Prozac?

 

 

What time do you take Prozac? What happens in the late afternoon? How's your sleep?

Yep theyve all increased.

Yesterday I was like my old self and in bits all in the same day.

I had a positive dream lastnight for the first time ever.I was jogging/hiking in  the forrest ,a year ago this is was my heaven.

Then this morning I wake in sheer terror and suicidal lying in the bed for an hour .it has eased somewhat .

Its defo all worse since the change over but still early days I suppose .

 

Answers on a postcard folks 😴.

Thanks ALto

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powerback
7 hours ago, Carmie said:

Hi Powerback, 

 

Just wanted to pop around and send you some hugs. I appreciate the encouraging things you write on other people’s threads despite what you’re going through yourself. My brain isn’t functioning great at the moment but I vaguely remember you saying something on another thread about that person jumping on your life raft with you. Did I get that right? Can I join you?😄

 

Speaking of life rafts, I went to an aqua park the other weekend and they gave you a life jacket. I looooved the life jacket. You can just jump into the water and float, it takes no effort. I really want to buy a life jacket now so I can float in the water when I don’t have the strength to do anything else ( I have CFS ). I’m a major water freak!🌊🌊🌊🌊💦💦💦💦💦

 

Thanks for the positivity you share despite the pain you’re in💚

Thanks carmie nice of you to say,im try to absorb commplements rather than swat them away,ive read enough self help to see its the only way to change my toxic mindset .im fighting off the devil negitivity hard alot .

Im paying back the suport ive been given myself .

Good youve found a way to be in the water while tired .

The oven door has come off ,its a week sitting there ,I better try and fix lt lol,keep me busy or frustrated ha.

Take care .

 

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thecowisback

no answers for you but i hope things to start improving for you very soon xxxx 

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powerback
16 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

no answers for you but i hope things to start improving for you very soon xxxx 

Thanks TCIB,im in a weird little window at this minute ,door fixed ,used the mindfulness to stop myself over thinking it with anxiety .

We take the little wins .

Be safe ,take care .

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thecowisback

i get really stressed and scared over diy jobs that need doing around the house. well done for managing to fix it!!! that is quite an accomplishment in my book!!

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powerback

Its usually always our though process that stops us ,not the actual job ,ive always did my own work around the house ,im that way inclined ,plus you save loads of money .

The last few months the smallest things I cant get my head around but its temporary

.I mite of done too much since june,I put floors down,wardodes,painted,took an old conservatory down and put in new energy efficient doors and internal doors  ,im a few years trying to get my head around growing my own veg and make a garden .

Loads of ideas are making me tired, let alone doing it lol.

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thecowisback

wow - i wish i was that handy round the house - just changing a door handle is a challenge to me at the moment. i wasn't always this crap at things - i used to be able to put up shelves and stuff like that but after a couple of diy disasters i just catastrophize everything and don't even start the jobs in the first place. 

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apace41
6 hours ago, powerback said:

Yesterday I was like my old self and in bits all in the same day.

 

Oddly enough, PB, I would take some comfort in that.  The fact that you had moments of "normalcy" is very encouraging.  The up and down nature of all of this is what gets people in withdrawal diagnosed with Bipolar disease and then put on mood stabilizers.  Let's watch to see if your "normal" periods stretch out.  If so, you are on the right path.

 

Best,

 

Andy

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Altostrata
20 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What time do you take Prozac? What happens in the late afternoon? How's your sleep?

 

Please answer these questions.

 

I'm still confused. You have an INCREASE in symptoms after you take a dose of Prozac? What times of day does this happen? 

 

I need to see those daily notes with times of day about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. Use a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom, drug and dosage) on the right. You can post the notes in your Intro topic every day.

 

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grandmaD

PB I have just read your recent thread.  I didn't realise you switched to Prozac!  It looks like you are worse.. and suicidal... or were you that before the switch?

 

I was switched to another a/d years ago and it was really bad.  Back then I knew nothing and neither did doctor, obviously.  She switched me to two other a/d's because of what I was going through.  However, now in hindsight, I KNOW I was hell as a result of CT original drug and so withdrawal hit hard and fast.  I ended up making my own decision to go back on original drug (full dose) thinking it was better the devil I knew than the devil I didn't know! 

 

I was going to do  prozac switch a year or so ago, but I saw that doing so doesn't necessarily cover the w/d symptoms from original drug.  I really feel for you, I know the desperate desire to feel somewhat normal at least and find peace in mind and body, etc.  It doesn't help when there are no easy answers, either! 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
removed link

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apace41
12 hours ago, grandmaD said:

It looks like you are worse.. and suicidal... or were you that before the switch? 

 

grandmaD,

 

While I've seen PB struggle for quite some time, and the switch has not been a "quick fix", to my way of thinking he has remained largely positive and optimistic and I don't think it is appropriate to characterize him as "suicidal".  I am hoping that the breaks he is getting are the start of an improved windows and waves pattern that will carry him out to a higher baseline level.

 

Best,

 

Andy

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powerback
21 hours ago, Altostrata said:

'm still confused

Hi Alto ,I'm confused myself .

ile put a symptom list of the day up soon ,very busy the next few days .

basically about midday I get crushing fatigue ,I need to rest for an hour .meds are always taken on waking up between 7am and 9am .

Ide say its a bit of both ,symptoms dropping the Effexor  and picking up the Prozac .

Only time I suppose will tell .

Thanks for your help .take care.

 

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powerback
18 hours ago, grandmaD said:

PB I have just read your recent thread.  I didn't realise you switched to Prozac!  It looks like you are worse.. and suicidal... or were you that before the switch?  Please see this post (CC)

 

I was switched to another a/d years ago and it was really bad.  Back then I knew nothing and neither did doctor, obviously.  She switched me to two other a/d's because of what I was going through.  However, now in hindsight, I KNOW I was hell as a result of CT original drug and so withdrawal hit hard and fast.  I ended up making my own decision to go back on original drug (full dose) thinking it was better the devil I knew than the devil I didn't know! 

 

I was going to do  prozac switch a year or so ago, but I saw that doing so doesn't necessarily cover the w/d symptoms from original drug.  I really feel for you, I know the desperate desire to feel somewhat normal at least and find peace in mind and body, etc.  It doesn't help when there are no easy answers, either! 

 

Thanks GD your so kind for your concern

.the best way a switch is recommended is from one drug to other before even tapering ,I was in withdrawl coming to the site .its my mess I need to take responsibility for

.the last 8 months my body is putting up with an accumulation of health issues that is all contributing to this mess ,my nervous system is getting bombarded .my main thing this winter is to stay clear of the  swine flu strain of flu doing the rounds in Ireland ,I'm petrified , I believe this will finish me off.

I'm very watchful for SI but if I do notice it increasing I will drop the Prozac pronto .

Take care GD .

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powerback
6 hours ago, apace41 said:

 

grandmaD,

 

While I've seen PB struggle for quite some time, and the switch has not been a "quick fix", to my way of thinking he has remained largely positive and optimistic and I don't think it is appropriate to characterize him as "suicidal".  I am hoping that the breaks he is getting are the start of an improved windows and waves pattern that will carry him out to a higher baseline level.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Im blessed and appreciate both of yous,im a veteran at this stage lol.

Last night I even enjoyed some belly laughter ,this is a positive . 

Take care . 

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Altostrata

@grandmaD powerback is extraordinarily brave and resourceful. Maybe a little too reticent about his daily symptom pattern; still, I am honored to share electrons with him.

 

I am optimistic about the success of his switch to Prozac.

 

1 hour ago, powerback said:

basically about midday I get crushing fatigue ,I need to rest for an hour .meds are always taken on waking up between 7am and 9am .

 

Interesting. Must see those daily notes!

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powerback
11 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

@grandmaD powerback is extraordinarily brave and resourceful. Maybe a little too reticent about his daily symptom pattern; still, I am honored to share electrons with him.

 

I am optimistic about the success of his switch to Prozac.

 

 

Interesting. Must see those daily notes!

Well at the moment I'm holding onto this freaky human feeling of enjoying being alive and enjoying music ,my heart is even getting nice feelings lol.

Apoloagies Alto ile sort symptom pattern out in a few days 🙂.im busy during the day until Thursday.

 

honored to share electrons with him.

this is a very nice thing to say ,thanks .

 

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ChessieCat

Just posting this here for PB's own reference:

 

14 minutes ago, powerback said:

I'm claiming one of my best windows today  for ages ,a little hyper tonight but I'm aware of it . 

 

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powerback
Just now, ChessieCat said:

Just posting this here for PB's own reference:

 

 

👍🙏.

Thanks CC

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wantrelief
10 minutes ago, powerback said:

Well at the moment I'm holding onto this freaky human feeling of enjoying being alive and enjoying music ,my heart is even getting nice feelings

This is great news, PB....sounds wonderful!!  

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powerback
22 hours ago, grandmaD said:

PB I have just read your recent thread.  I didn't realise you switched to Prozac!  It looks like you are worse.. and suicidal... or were you that before the switch?

 

I was switched to another a/d years ago and it was really bad.  Back then I knew nothing and neither did doctor, obviously.  She switched me to two other a/d's because of what I was going through.  However, now in hindsight, I KNOW I was hell as a result of CT original drug and so withdrawal hit hard and fast.  I ended up making my own decision to go back on original drug (full dose) thinking it was better the devil I knew than the devil I didn't know! 

 

I was going to do  prozac switch a year or so ago, but I saw that doing so doesn't necessarily cover the w/d symptoms from original drug.  I really feel for you, I know the desperate desire to feel somewhat normal at least and find peace in mind and body, etc.  It doesn't help when there are no easy answers, either! 

 

 

I feel there needs to be some background here because GD gave me her time during PMs over the last 2 weeks and I cant express my gratitude enough.it got pretty dark at times ,so she is coming at it from a different perspective ,no offence to my thread of course .

🙏.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
updated quote

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apace41
3 minutes ago, powerback said:

I feel there needs to be some background here because GD gave me her time during PMs over the last 2 weeks and I cant express my gratitude enough.it got pretty dark at times ,so she is coming at it from a different perspective ,no offence to my thread of course .

🙏.

 

Got it.  As usual, on the internet there is no way to know what is REALLY going on.  Glad she was there when you needed that.

 

I was commenting with incomplete information so I withdraw my comment.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Edited by apace41

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powerback
15 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

This is great news, PB....sounds wonderful!!  

Thanks WR, ive gone ahead and booked myself in for an iron man next week lol,tongue it cheek  😁.

 

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powerback
2 minutes ago, apace41 said:

 

Got it.  As usual, on the internet there is no way to know what is REALLY going on.  Glad she was there when you needed that.

 

I was commenting with incomplete information so I withdraw my comment.

 

Best,

 

Andy

All my fault as per usual Andy lol.

It had nothing to do with anyone but my mindset during the last few weeks ,mods are busy enough and we got chatting .

Thanks Andy .

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direstraits
2 hours ago, powerback said:

Well at the moment I'm holding onto this freaky human feeling of enjoying being alive and enjoying music ,my heart is even getting nice feelings lol

 

YAY!!

I hope it lasts a while...so happy for you !

❤️

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Steve61

So pleased for you PB 👍👍  You needed and deserved a window for all the times that you support others. I’m rooting for you  🤗🤗

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