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powerback: tapering no 2


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Sounds lovely where you are...oh I hear you about the fear

f-false 

e-evidence 

a-appering 

r-real 

horrible it is.But it’s just a chemical 

**** storm going on!One day PB we will be free..

 

yea my aim is to get in those woods again!

 

lol am not sure am going to be able to resist the temptation PB when it comes to chocolate...

but we shall see.

 

take it easy 

xxx

Binge drinker thru out my life 17/37,recreational use of street drugs 17-30. Numerous AD from age 23 upwards

Matazpine 30mg 2007-2012

Paxil an zopiclone 2012-2016

Taken off Paxil in four weeks in janurary 2016

Given diazepam 2-4 feb to June 2016

C/t diazepam June (had no idea not too)

Reinstated 8mg of diazepam in July,crossed over to 8mg of diazepam! given 7.5 matazpine.

Nov 2016 at 5 mg of diazepam

Given Olanzpine 2.5 November 28th-stopped

paxil 1mg 3rd of dec -stopped

Started liquid diazpam 10th of jan.alchol free 13month

February 2018 - reduced to 4 mg diazepam and 7.5 mg mirtazapine

November 2018 - tried 2% diazepam reduction - updosed back to 4 mg after one week

 

 

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Hi Powerback,

 

I read through page 11 of this thread this morning. Thanks for the videos, I enjoyed both but really liked the Enya one, the amazing scenery made me feel better. I even felt inspired to go take a walk this morning since I have the day off work. I've been feeling strangely depressed since December. It's funny, two milligrams ago I felt great. The walk I just took made me feel better. I have a loop I walk that's about 1.5 miles long. Takes me around the cemetery where a herd of deer come and graze every day among the headstones. Listening to the birds, and watching the occasional squirrel and the deer is good therapy. Anyways, thanks for sharing your journey.

Apr 09 2013 started taking 30mg Remeron

Oct 10 2013 began tapering 27 mg  Nov 07/ 24 mg  Nov 27/ 22 mg  Dec 20/ 20mg

***Stopped taper and reinstated back up to 30mg shortly afterwards due to the symptoms that I was taking Remeron for came back. The Exact Same symptoms. I wasn't willing to live through that again.

2nd attempt at tapering.

Feb 20 2017/ 28 mg  Mar 20/ 25 mg   Apr 20/ 23 mg  May 21/ 22mg  June 21/ 21mg  July 15/ 20mg  Aug 5/ 19mg Aug22/18mg  Oct 21/ 17 mg  Nov 27/ 16 mg  Dec 26/ 15mg  Jan 27 2018/ 14mg  Mar 1/ 13mg  Mar 31/ 12 mg 

Apr 28/ 11mg  May 27/ 10 mg  July 7/ 9 mg  Aug 4/ 8.1 mg  Aug 31/ 7.2 mg  Sept 29/ 6.3 mg  Oct 28/ 5.6 mg 

Nov 26/ 5 mg  Dec 25/ 4.5 mg   01/03/2020 .65 mg  03/11/20  - 0.36 mg- omg omw to being AD free!

 

I also take 30mg Temazepam for sleep every night, Pulmicort 180mcg inhaler 2x/day for cough variant asthma, albuterol inhaler as needed, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, omega 3 fish oil, 400mg magnesium malate, potassium iodide, CBD oil 25 - 30mgs/day

 

HOPE = Hold On, Pain Ends

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Thanks for reading  Kitson ,nice to meet you .your welcome for the videos ,there great aren't they .that's nice you were inspired to go on your walk and you felt better ,I always feel good after mine ,sometimes I don't want them to end :D.

Try not judge why your depression is in on ye ,your obviously doing loads with keeping a job going .your system is still adjusting ide say so stay on your path .

I see you've asthma ,I do also ,but very well managed ,fresh air is great for our lungs .have you ever checked out the salt inhalers . 

the deer eating amongst the headstones sums up the circle of life :).

Thanks for stopping by  .

Take care .

 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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Thanks PB, I've never heard of salt therapy, on Amazon now looking to buy one!

 

 

 

 

Apr 09 2013 started taking 30mg Remeron

Oct 10 2013 began tapering 27 mg  Nov 07/ 24 mg  Nov 27/ 22 mg  Dec 20/ 20mg

***Stopped taper and reinstated back up to 30mg shortly afterwards due to the symptoms that I was taking Remeron for came back. The Exact Same symptoms. I wasn't willing to live through that again.

2nd attempt at tapering.

Feb 20 2017/ 28 mg  Mar 20/ 25 mg   Apr 20/ 23 mg  May 21/ 22mg  June 21/ 21mg  July 15/ 20mg  Aug 5/ 19mg Aug22/18mg  Oct 21/ 17 mg  Nov 27/ 16 mg  Dec 26/ 15mg  Jan 27 2018/ 14mg  Mar 1/ 13mg  Mar 31/ 12 mg 

Apr 28/ 11mg  May 27/ 10 mg  July 7/ 9 mg  Aug 4/ 8.1 mg  Aug 31/ 7.2 mg  Sept 29/ 6.3 mg  Oct 28/ 5.6 mg 

Nov 26/ 5 mg  Dec 25/ 4.5 mg   01/03/2020 .65 mg  03/11/20  - 0.36 mg- omg omw to being AD free!

 

I also take 30mg Temazepam for sleep every night, Pulmicort 180mcg inhaler 2x/day for cough variant asthma, albuterol inhaler as needed, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, omega 3 fish oil, 400mg magnesium malate, potassium iodide, CBD oil 25 - 30mgs/day

 

HOPE = Hold On, Pain Ends

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38 minutes ago, Kitson said:

Thanks PB, I've never heard of salt therapy, on Amazon now looking to buy one!

 

 

 

 

ile have to back track a liitle K ,I don't actually use one myself  so I'm not recommending it per say ,ive read about them and seen some research on salt caves for lung conditions .thread carefully to begin with ,its perfectly safe but you know yourself in this withdrawal process .

take care .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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Just saying hi PB as I noticed you like to hike in the hills.

 

I think when we're going through the bad times we need something to look forward to doing when we're better, and mine is going hiking and wild camping in the hills and mountains. I used to do it a lot, in Wales and once in Norway. I can't imagine anything better for my brain, body and soul.

 

So just saying hi to a fellow hiker.

Current daily meds. Citalopram 2.5mg morning. Diazapam 1.5mg evening, Propanalol 40mg split 4x10mg throughout day.

 

Recent meds. Fluoxetine 20mg began 24th Nov 2017, CT on 4th December on medical advice due to bad Akathisia. Citalopram 10mg began on 13th Dec 2017, tapered to 2.5mg by 20th Dec 2017 on medical advice. Diazapam 2mg began on 6th Dec 2017 cut to 1.5 mg on 26th Dec. Propanalol 40mg began on 13th Dec. Zopiclone 3.75 mg began 13th December, used maybe 5 times then quit.

 

Previous history. Tricyclics, Fluoxetine or Citalopram for periods of 6mo to 2yrs over last 25 years. Probably 5 yrs in total. No significant ill effects.

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I also like hiking!

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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Antidepressants Hiking Club!

Current daily meds. Citalopram 2.5mg morning. Diazapam 1.5mg evening, Propanalol 40mg split 4x10mg throughout day.

 

Recent meds. Fluoxetine 20mg began 24th Nov 2017, CT on 4th December on medical advice due to bad Akathisia. Citalopram 10mg began on 13th Dec 2017, tapered to 2.5mg by 20th Dec 2017 on medical advice. Diazapam 2mg began on 6th Dec 2017 cut to 1.5 mg on 26th Dec. Propanalol 40mg began on 13th Dec. Zopiclone 3.75 mg began 13th December, used maybe 5 times then quit.

 

Previous history. Tricyclics, Fluoxetine or Citalopram for periods of 6mo to 2yrs over last 25 years. Probably 5 yrs in total. No significant ill effects.

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Its been months since I'm at the nasty level of wave I'm at this weekend  .

these neuro emotions are beyond belief .by far my worst one is  the nuero critic ,the thing is I was told I had a strong inner critic way before withdrawl ,this is simply unbearable,i simply cant expect people to live around me like this .

Its been 8 months since my blurred/peripheral vision went and bang it hit me this morning for an hour ,it must be connected to the monster headaches I have for days . 

This will simply rip me apart ,how have I got the right to ask anyone else in my life to put there life on hold while this drags on .

I simply cant put everything down to withdrawl .decisions will have to be made and be lived with .

I'm wary of going any further ,I don't want to trigger any one ,I want to record this mainly so thanks for any reply's in advance.

I'm routing for all yous out there fighting this demon .

Total respect . 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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What decisions have to be made, P. ?

We're there for you , whatever you decide.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Do not feel pressure from anyone - be selfish and do what is best for you.  I gather your personal relationships are strained because of your withdrawals?  Are you thinking of leaving some family members or reinstating a med.  How I'll are you right now?

 

Joy

 

Back to 20 mg at some point

22/3/18 down to 19.8 mg and feeling well

31/3/18 down to 19.6 mg and feeling well

14/4/18 down to 19.4 mg

05/5/18 down to 19.2 mg and feeling well

14/5/18 kicked out of my marital home/marriage/family unexpectedly when son took over farm

During many hospitalisations for shock/stress put on

1mg lorazepam prn

50mg quetiapine night for sleep

40 mg citalopram

10/01/2021  stopped taking quetiapine totally after a slow taper

Link to post

PB...i here you with the inner critic,I had one before WD,but the AD just shut mine up...but now since all the carnage it’s so loud...I have neuro shame & guilt....

 

Dont make any rash desicions while in WD PB,I know it’s entirely up to you,but I regret to this day one of mine what I did....

 

The first step is your aware of this,so with time you can change it..I think us human beings are our own worst enemy even before WD!

 

I hope your ok & things have calmed down some!sorry I never know what to write...I feel as though I have to watch what I write not to upset any body.Sorry if this doesn’t make sense.Just wanted to stop by & give you some support 

pink xxx

Binge drinker thru out my life 17/37,recreational use of street drugs 17-30. Numerous AD from age 23 upwards

Matazpine 30mg 2007-2012

Paxil an zopiclone 2012-2016

Taken off Paxil in four weeks in janurary 2016

Given diazepam 2-4 feb to June 2016

C/t diazepam June (had no idea not too)

Reinstated 8mg of diazepam in July,crossed over to 8mg of diazepam! given 7.5 matazpine.

Nov 2016 at 5 mg of diazepam

Given Olanzpine 2.5 November 28th-stopped

paxil 1mg 3rd of dec -stopped

Started liquid diazpam 10th of jan.alchol free 13month

February 2018 - reduced to 4 mg diazepam and 7.5 mg mirtazapine

November 2018 - tried 2% diazepam reduction - updosed back to 4 mg after one week

 

 

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1 hour ago, AliG said:

What decisions have to be made, P. ?

We're there for you , whatever you decide.

Sorry A for throwing  out that word "decisions" so flippant  ,it has nothing to do with tapering .

I'm just worn out with putting things off because I cant trust my gut and think things out .

apologies again AliG,you mods are busy enough without playing guessing games also .

Thanks and respect . 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

Link to post
1 hour ago, joy2730 said:

Do not feel pressure from anyone - be selfish and do what is best for you.  I gather your personal relationships are strained because of your withdrawals?  Are you thinking of leaving some family members or reinstating a med.  How I'll are you right now?

 

Joy

Thanks joy ,I'm worn out emotionally and I'm creating my own pressure ,I've been honest in this process with family and friends  and its gone on so long there starting to wonder ,it all plays into doctors know best the longer this goes on .

anyone reading my thread needs to be careful worrying and comparing themselves  to my journey  so they shouldn't .its just been a very overwhelming week/weekend .just because I'm in protracted withdrawl and sensitive to tapers doesn't mean others will be the same but be wary .

I need to find someone to help me resolve deep unresolved trauma and this is overwhelming to research when my cognitive function is scarily bad .

moving far away and being on my own has crossed my mind big time ,for one I'm a night mare to live with and another I need mountains of rest that I simply cant get ,the closing of a door is like a loud speaker to my brain when I'm this bad .

Thanks for the reply ,its much appreciated in this wave .

I hope your well .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

Link to post
40 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

PB...i here you with the inner critic,I had one before WD,but the AD just shut mine up...but now since all the carnage it’s so loud...I have neuro shame & guilt....

 

Dont make any rash desicions while in WD PB,I know it’s entirely up to you,but I regret to this day one of mine what I did....

 

The first step is your aware of this,so with time you can change it..I think us human beings are our own worst enemy even before WD!

 

I hope your ok & things have calmed down some!sorry I never know what to write...I feel as though I have to watch what I write not to upset any body.Sorry if this doesn’t make sense.Just wanted to stop by & give you some support 

pink xxx

Thanks pink no need to worry your response is perfect I'm very glad to have it .

I get you on watching what to write ,but when it concerns me you've no need to worry ,what my inner critic says would get ye life in prison in  the real world :D.

As I write this my critic says I'm an attention seeker :o.

you just be careful nothing triggers  you ,you need to be strong for your  little boy .

I hope you enjoyed your chocolate fountain :).

years ago a counsellor told me I had the strongest critic he had  ever come across ,he would  want   to see it now.

I was also medicated ,it was at the start of being put on meds .

I'm just going to put this torture down to the process and put trust in myself I will come out the other side .

Be safe . 

 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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22 hours ago, Martina23 said:

I also like hiking!

Great you into hiking M ,it was lashing rain today here in Ireland  and i still wanted to go but I held off and rested .

Hope your weekend has been peaceful and well .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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On ‎20‎/‎01‎/‎2018 at 6:52 PM, kesh said:

Just saying hi PB as I noticed you like to hike in the hills.

 

I think when we're going through the bad times we need something to look forward to doing when we're better, and mine is going hiking and wild camping in the hills and mountains. I used to do it a lot, in Wales and once in Norway. I can't imagine anything better for my brain, body and soul.

 

So just saying hi to a fellow hiker.

Hi Kesh exactly we need something to guide us through and look forward to.

I'm determined to do a walk in the Scottish highlands the end of spring /summer ,in a bad wave lately has me second guessing what to do ,but even the planning and looking it up should fill me with joy .

I must say your well ahead of me ,wild camping ,that's great, kudos  .

You could definitely show me the ropes with them great walks you've been on . 

Always keep the faith ,you will get back to it no doubt.

Respect .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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22 hours ago, kesh said:

Antidepressants Hiking Club!

would big pharma sponsor it I wonder    ,but then again how could we go to bed with the devil or hiking ;):).

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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PB we would be in prison together my friend :) 

 

my trauma specialist said she’s never seen any body so hard on there selfs either...

 

i did well on the meds,it silenced that inner critic but since 2 CTs & tapering the beast is back with a rocket up its bum lol...

 

when i write my my inner critic says,your worthless & nobody will listen to what you have to say urgh!

 

Am been strong for my son,but it’s heart breaking as we’re both in this mess together.But my duty as a mum is to get us out of this mess...

 

lol the chocolate fountain was messy 😆!!my son enjoyed it & my mouth was watering like a good en!!

 

The only way out is through PB...

 

Go easy on your self & gag that inner critic...trying to duct tape mine at the moment...

 

Like you I have so much unresolved trauma hence medication & self medication..But am waiting till am through on the other side to deal with it.

 

my goal is to learn compassion towards myself.Very hard to do,when you’ve never been shown it..

 

one day PB we will soar & stand tall that we got through this!!

 

It’s all a learning journey & were all just walking each each other home 

 

take care pink xxx

Binge drinker thru out my life 17/37,recreational use of street drugs 17-30. Numerous AD from age 23 upwards

Matazpine 30mg 2007-2012

Paxil an zopiclone 2012-2016

Taken off Paxil in four weeks in janurary 2016

Given diazepam 2-4 feb to June 2016

C/t diazepam June (had no idea not too)

Reinstated 8mg of diazepam in July,crossed over to 8mg of diazepam! given 7.5 matazpine.

Nov 2016 at 5 mg of diazepam

Given Olanzpine 2.5 November 28th-stopped

paxil 1mg 3rd of dec -stopped

Started liquid diazpam 10th of jan.alchol free 13month

February 2018 - reduced to 4 mg diazepam and 7.5 mg mirtazapine

November 2018 - tried 2% diazepam reduction - updosed back to 4 mg after one week

 

 

Link to post

Careful of those midges in the Highlands!

Current daily meds. Citalopram 2.5mg morning. Diazapam 1.5mg evening, Propanalol 40mg split 4x10mg throughout day.

 

Recent meds. Fluoxetine 20mg began 24th Nov 2017, CT on 4th December on medical advice due to bad Akathisia. Citalopram 10mg began on 13th Dec 2017, tapered to 2.5mg by 20th Dec 2017 on medical advice. Diazapam 2mg began on 6th Dec 2017 cut to 1.5 mg on 26th Dec. Propanalol 40mg began on 13th Dec. Zopiclone 3.75 mg began 13th December, used maybe 5 times then quit.

 

Previous history. Tricyclics, Fluoxetine or Citalopram for periods of 6mo to 2yrs over last 25 years. Probably 5 yrs in total. No significant ill effects.

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11 minutes ago, kesh said:

Careful of those midges in the Highlands!

oh ye ,good point ,you've seen straight through how much I've planned it out :D,I'm thinking they'd be a distraction from withdrawl  ;).

do you get out for even small hikes these days to keep some strength up .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

Link to post
28 minutes ago, powerback said:

you just be careful nothing triggers  you ,you need to be strong for your  little boy .

 

I liked this sentence :-).

I agree you have to stand tall and face the storm. When you fall, get up and give your little boy a big hug ;-)

 

You're stronger now. You can face the pain.

Took my first SSRI sipralexa/lexapro/escitalopram in 2007 for depression. In 2010 the doctor switched me to paroxetine/seroxat/paxil for anxiety.

My paroxetine story from then on:

 

2010-15 from 10mg up to 20mg

jan 2016 30mg

may 2016 0mg cold turkey (don't!)

dec 2016 symptoms: anxiety, tremor (could barely stand)

jan 2017 reinstated at 7.5mg to taper in steps of 10%

...

Dose changes from may 2017 to now: 

5.0/4.7/4.4/4.0/3.7/3.5/3.3/3.1mg

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2 minutes ago, miT said:

 

I liked this sentence :-).

I agree you have to stand tall and face the storm. When you fall, get up and give your little boy a big hug ;-)

 

You're stronger now. You can face the pain.

Hi miT ,ye your correct .

I hope your well .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, powerback said:

oh ye ,good point ,you've seen straight through how much I've planned it out :D,I'm thinking they'd be a distraction from withdrawl  ;).

do you get out for even small hikes these days to keep some strength up .

I walk around the part of London I'm in. Pacing walks when akathisia is on, normal walks when it isn't. But I have lost a ton of fitness since this began in December. I started smoking for example. Stopped cycling as I moved to London to be looked after. 

Current daily meds. Citalopram 2.5mg morning. Diazapam 1.5mg evening, Propanalol 40mg split 4x10mg throughout day.

 

Recent meds. Fluoxetine 20mg began 24th Nov 2017, CT on 4th December on medical advice due to bad Akathisia. Citalopram 10mg began on 13th Dec 2017, tapered to 2.5mg by 20th Dec 2017 on medical advice. Diazapam 2mg began on 6th Dec 2017 cut to 1.5 mg on 26th Dec. Propanalol 40mg began on 13th Dec. Zopiclone 3.75 mg began 13th December, used maybe 5 times then quit.

 

Previous history. Tricyclics, Fluoxetine or Citalopram for periods of 6mo to 2yrs over last 25 years. Probably 5 yrs in total. No significant ill effects.

Link to post
21 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

PB we would be in prison together my friend :) 

 

my trauma specialist said she’s never seen any body so hard on there selfs either...

 

i did well on the meds,it silenced that inner critic but since 2 CTs & tapering the beast is back with a rocket up its bum lol...

 

when i write my my inner critic says,your worthless & nobody will listen to what you have to say urgh!

 

Am been strong for my son,but it’s heart breaking as we’re both in this mess together.But my duty as a mum is to get us out of this mess...

 

lol the chocolate fountain was messy 😆!!my son enjoyed it & my mouth was watering like a good en!!

 

The only way out is through PB...

 

Go easy on your self & gag that inner critic...trying to duct tape mine at the moment...

 

Like you I have so much unresolved trauma hence medication & self medication..But am waiting till am through on the other side to deal with it.

 

my goal is to learn compassion towards myself.Very hard to do,when you’ve never been shown it..

 

one day PB we will soar & stand tall that we got through this!!

 

It’s all a learning journey & were all just walking each each other home 

 

take care pink xxx

"the body keeps the score ",I cant think who wrote this at the moment ,but its a book for further down the road pink ,we need to keep you recovering ,its just the tittle came to me while reading your reply .

Then would we even let ourselves out of prison  if given the key :D ,a little deep for a Sunday night :).

Great you boy loved the fountain .

I heard somewhere that the inner critic/voice was always internalised from others saying it to us  growing up ,don't read to far into that ,I did, so know I wonder about everything .

Thanks pink .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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6 minutes ago, kesh said:

I walk around the part of London I'm in. Pacing walks when akathisia is on, normal walks when it isn't. But I have lost a ton of fitness since this began in December. I started smoking for example. Stopped cycling as I moved to London to be looked after. 

Sorry to hear that kesh ,December only weeks ago and all that fitness gone .from what I know of fitness ,the muscles will remember and click back when your body is ready ,keep the faith .is it any wonder we go for things to ease the stress i.e. smoking .my friend loves smoking grass and says I should do it for my situation ,but the small bits I did as a kid always back fired and I never took to it well.only if ide of coped it ,I was always sensitive to things/substances .

Try your best to get the best nutrition you can ,no doubt you know that yourself ,its so hard all the same .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

Link to post

Hi PB

 

If the people around you are saying this is taking too long you must listen to the doctors and perhaps go back to the mess it is because they so want to see you well - that is all and they will be feeling anxious for you.

 

Family hold all the same doubts as people on this forum.

 

Joy

 

Back to 20 mg at some point

22/3/18 down to 19.8 mg and feeling well

31/3/18 down to 19.6 mg and feeling well

14/4/18 down to 19.4 mg

05/5/18 down to 19.2 mg and feeling well

14/5/18 kicked out of my marital home/marriage/family unexpectedly when son took over farm

During many hospitalisations for shock/stress put on

1mg lorazepam prn

50mg quetiapine night for sleep

40 mg citalopram

10/01/2021  stopped taking quetiapine totally after a slow taper

Link to post

Have got his book PB :) 

can’t remember is name though lol...

 

Were working on finding the key PB,to let us out of jail for our freedom back.

 

Oh tell me about it,have looked into all sorts while going through this,should not of as it made me worse.But totally agree none of this stuff was ever ours,.it gets passed down through generations..My family pattern was all based upon trauma.So it’s whats learnt & what we have been told,your therapist was right...

 

But the good news is we can re-wire our faulty beliefs.Healing the inner child is where am starting from.None of this was ever our fault,my family was working from below the veil they knew know better & was never aware...Am aware & I believe am at the end of our chain to break it...

 

sorry a little deep for a sunday as you say.

 

But I just want you to know your not alone with all these thoughts.Am right there with you...

 

Going through WD just brings everything up & dumps it all at our feet...but what we have to do is just get through each day & build us all a solid foundation...so when this ends,we can build a home on a solid ground..& then we can walk out of that jail....

 

lol sorry if I talk nonsense just ignore me lol 

xxx

Binge drinker thru out my life 17/37,recreational use of street drugs 17-30. Numerous AD from age 23 upwards

Matazpine 30mg 2007-2012

Paxil an zopiclone 2012-2016

Taken off Paxil in four weeks in janurary 2016

Given diazepam 2-4 feb to June 2016

C/t diazepam June (had no idea not too)

Reinstated 8mg of diazepam in July,crossed over to 8mg of diazepam! given 7.5 matazpine.

Nov 2016 at 5 mg of diazepam

Given Olanzpine 2.5 November 28th-stopped

paxil 1mg 3rd of dec -stopped

Started liquid diazpam 10th of jan.alchol free 13month

February 2018 - reduced to 4 mg diazepam and 7.5 mg mirtazapine

November 2018 - tried 2% diazepam reduction - updosed back to 4 mg after one week

 

 

Link to post
38 minutes ago, joy2730 said:

Hi PB

 

If the people around you are saying this is taking too long you must listen to the doctors and perhaps go back to the mess it is because they so want to see you well - that is all and they will be feeling anxious for you.

 

Family hold all the same doubts as people on this forum.

 

Joy

Hi joy ,its the neuro feelings ripping me apart .I cant ever follow a doctors advice again ,its all built on lies to even begin with .my meds sheet would be looking  like 300mg venlafaxine ,Zyprexa  and a benzo if I had of kept listening to my doctor ,the same man said ide have no problems halving a 75 mg dose witch led me to a huge mess .

I totally respect other members views on meds ,but looking at my own case ,I wont use a med option ever again ,my genetic make up or what ever you call it is just too sensitive for these strong drugs ,so the next generation need to do serious checks before going on this stuff .

 

I'm actually resentful some people around me wont listen to me about the great work of this site and MIA and the people that want to make a change for the better .these people want the quick fixes that they are obsessed over and indoctrinated with .I understand loved ones care but if they constantly disregard someone else's  beliefs, this is abuse and highly disrespectful .

 

If there was even a shred of evidence fighting fire with fire worked ide take a med and stop this torture ,but as I said I've gone way to far to ever go back ,you cant read all the research I've read  and then expect to take these drugs everyday for the rest of my life and keep wondering what damage I'm doing ,its the only toxin I put in my body ,and I thought giving up alcohol was an issue ,nothing compared to this . 

If  DR Healy ever comes up with a way to help us in withdrawl it is gladly welcomed but it just shows ye how clueless we are at understanding the brain .

 

DRs are not infallible gods ,they over worked  over paid over trusted and need to be respectfully taken off there pedestals,im not just saying this because I'm disgruntled or slightly embittered  ,its the truth .how in the world can we keep sending the next generations to these people that turn a blind eye to the  biggest mess of the last 30/40 years .would you trust anyone that was part of an industry that hides and buries lawsuits to suit themselves  .I even heard a doctor slagging off another field of health care on the radio[chiropractors ] and no one batted an eyelid ,this is  mad to be so irreproachable.  

Any way rant over:D ,I call it passion .I just realise I read your reply a bit defensively  .I by no means am directing anything at you .

I'm passionate about taking the power back from these people for ourselves .

Thanks joy and I sincerely respect your view and opinion .

peace.

 

 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

Link to post
32 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

Have got his book PB :) 

can’t remember is name though lol...

 

Were working on finding the key PB,to let us out of jail for our freedom back.

 

Oh tell me about it,have looked into all sorts while going through this,should not of as it made me worse.But totally agree none of this stuff was ever ours,.it gets passed down through generations..My family pattern was all based upon trauma.So it’s whats learnt & what we have been told,your therapist was right...

 

But the good news is we can re-wire our faulty beliefs.Healing the inner child is where am starting from.None of this was ever our fault,my family was working from below the veil they knew know better & was never aware...Am aware & I believe am at the end of our chain to break it...

 

sorry a little deep for a sunday as you say.

 

But I just want you to know your not alone with all these thoughts.Am right there with you...

 

Going through WD just brings everything up & dumps it all at our feet...but what we have to do is just get through each day & build us all a solid foundation...so when this ends,we can build a home on a solid ground..& then we can walk out of that jail....

 

lol sorry if I talk nonsense just ignore me lol 

xxx

No your not talking nonsense ,its all sense :D.

Thanks pink with you all the way also.

My brain is running on empty this minute ,I'm guilty and shameful I haven't a better reply :D for you pink .what are we like :D.

You win the  battle tonight ,you've put together some nice  eloquent worded reply's. 

 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

Link to post

Hey don’t worry about it,I will let you off lol :) 

 

Its our lovely WD brains (nice & fried lol)

 

You will be back on par soon PB,no doubt about that :) 

 

haha yipeeee I do make sense.In WD I think I have my own language & there’s only me what understands it.Am weary of posting stuff as I aren’t that intelligent or use big words...

 

Lack of confidence,but if I can help some one a tiny bit,then that’s all that matters 

xxx

Binge drinker thru out my life 17/37,recreational use of street drugs 17-30. Numerous AD from age 23 upwards

Matazpine 30mg 2007-2012

Paxil an zopiclone 2012-2016

Taken off Paxil in four weeks in janurary 2016

Given diazepam 2-4 feb to June 2016

C/t diazepam June (had no idea not too)

Reinstated 8mg of diazepam in July,crossed over to 8mg of diazepam! given 7.5 matazpine.

Nov 2016 at 5 mg of diazepam

Given Olanzpine 2.5 November 28th-stopped

paxil 1mg 3rd of dec -stopped

Started liquid diazpam 10th of jan.alchol free 13month

February 2018 - reduced to 4 mg diazepam and 7.5 mg mirtazapine

November 2018 - tried 2% diazepam reduction - updosed back to 4 mg after one week

 

 

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1 hour ago, joy2730 said:

Hi PB

 

If the people around you are saying this is taking too long you must listen to the doctors and perhaps go back to the mess it is because they so want to see you well - that is all and they will be feeling anxious for you.

 

Family hold all the same doubts as people on this forum.

 

Joy

 

I'm sorry , ~ but that's what got us all in this mess, originally ~ especially listening to doctors. We all need to " un- doctor" ourselves and start to take back control of our own health. I've never been healthier than since I stopped listening to doctors. I don't believe they want to see us well ~

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

Link to post
18 minutes ago, pinkfairy said:

Hey don’t worry about it,I will let you off lol :) 

 

Its our lovely WD brains (nice & fried lol)

 

You will be back on par soon PB,no doubt about that :) 

 

haha yipeeee I do make sense.In WD I think I have my own language & there’s only me what understands it.Am weary of posting stuff as I aren’t that intelligent or use big words...

 

Lack of confidence,but if I can help some one a tiny bit,then that’s all that matters 

xxx

As I say to my friend "these big words don't make me money ",he is always wondering about the words I use .

And of course sigmun freud would say I'm over compensating for a weakness using big words:D .trust me using big words isn't a marker of intelligence .

Living with withdrawl and getting by would be a good marker if you ask me . 

My word around him lately is "fastidious ":D.I might get a t-shirt with it written on it ,he would crack up laughing . 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

Link to post
  • Moderator Emeritus
2 hours ago, AliG said:

 

I'm sorry , ~ but that's what got us all in this mess, originally ~ especially listening to doctors. We all need to " un- doctor" ourselves and start to take back control of our own health. 

 

Ali, I agree passionately and whole-heartedly. Just about every single one of us is here on this forum because we trusted doctors. These are legal (!!!???) "medications" that we took as prescribed. 

 

And PB, I agree that living through WD is a sign of intelligence and strength!!!!!

Current: 2019: 0.04 mg Paxil!! This is real. Soon, after taking Paxil my entire adult life, I will be free.

Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" almost completely off over a month, at doctor's advice in July 2015.

Self-care includes magnesium, reasonable exercise, mindfulness, this forum and nutrition/eating enough food.

Also on 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!! (which I now will have the knowledge to taper properly)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Longer version: On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression caused by (undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder.

Doctor kept increasing dose, up to 60 mg; it never really helped but said it really was the best "med" for me.

Rapid doctor-led "taper" July 2015, down to 5 mg, with Zoloft as a "cross-taper" = Essentially a cold turkey. 

Severe withdrawal but didn't know it; believed it was my "underlying condition," and kept tapering, 5mg to 4 to 3  to 2 to 1.  

Feb 2016: Found SA! As of June 2016, tapering from 1mg at rate of 5-10% per month, Brassmonkey Slide! 

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sorry to hear you had a rough day PB, how are you feeling today? try get out on a hike if possible and clear your head

 

take care

2001 - 2005 prozac,  2001 - 2017 various benzos, mainly diazapem and zanex,  2002 - 2017 olanzapine or seroquel,  2002 -2017 propanolol, 2005 - 2009 venlafaxine 75mg , forced to go cold turkey off venlafaxine as moved Thailand, doctor cut me off and couldn't get it there, severely ill for over 2 years, countered withdrawals with more zanex and seroquel

2014 returned to UK, mainly to get treatment getting off meds

doctor advised to taper seroquel over a few weeks, severely ill and bed bed-bound so reinstated it, 2015 tapered seroquel myself slower over a few months, was off it 2 months and was too ill so went on olanzapine, became zombie and too tired to get out of bed, went back on seroquel, very depressed so went back on venlafaxine, didnt work  so doctor swapped to zoloft became very agitated so back on venlafaxine

June 2016 - felt strong enough to begin tapering again, started what I thought was a slow taper of all meds,  2016 July Not had any alcoholic drink since this date, 

2016 October completely off diazepem, 2017 Feb completely off seroquel, 2017 March completely off proponanlol, 2017 April (day before birthday) completely off venlafaxine, OFF ALL MEDS 11/4/2017, was fine for nearly 3 months and then delayed withdrawal hit,

supplements taking: turmeric capsules, NiaCel (nicotinamide riboside), Vit B12 sublingual, Vit B3, Vit B6, Vit B1, apple cider vinegar, manuka umf 10 honey, camu camu powder,  melatonin when needed, epsom salt baths, juices, smoothies, 

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15175-dj2010-off-all-meds-for-3-months-and-been-fine-now-bad-insomnia/

 

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i know where you are PB your making that tee-shirt aren’t you 😂

 

Hope your feeling a tiny bit better...

 

 

Binge drinker thru out my life 17/37,recreational use of street drugs 17-30. Numerous AD from age 23 upwards

Matazpine 30mg 2007-2012

Paxil an zopiclone 2012-2016

Taken off Paxil in four weeks in janurary 2016

Given diazepam 2-4 feb to June 2016

C/t diazepam June (had no idea not too)

Reinstated 8mg of diazepam in July,crossed over to 8mg of diazepam! given 7.5 matazpine.

Nov 2016 at 5 mg of diazepam

Given Olanzpine 2.5 November 28th-stopped

paxil 1mg 3rd of dec -stopped

Started liquid diazpam 10th of jan.alchol free 13month

February 2018 - reduced to 4 mg diazepam and 7.5 mg mirtazapine

November 2018 - tried 2% diazepam reduction - updosed back to 4 mg after one week

 

 

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