powerback: tapering no 2

[Shep]

On 3/6/2019 at 6:57 AM, powerback said:

I need an old root canal out myself [no pain but a constant infection that small bit of puss comes out]

I watched a very good documentary on netflix called "root cause ".OMG i was blown away by it .people could have all kinds of issues with there health and not realise its anything to do with there dental work .

I mite hold out for a while and see an " holistic dentist ".way to weak for dental work.

 

PB, I was reading some random threads and I happened upon this post you made a few weeks ago on another member's thread. 

 

Did you get this tooth taken care of or are you still dealing with dental issues? Did you have to take an antibiotic for this? If so, please list the drug and dose. 

 

You are quite right that dental issues can can all sorts of problems. I hope this is resolved and healed. 

[powerback]

19 minutes ago, Shep said:

 

PB, I was reading some random threads and I happened upon this post you made a few weeks ago on another member's thread. 

 

Did you get this tooth taken care of or are you still dealing with dental issues? Did you have to take an antibiotic for this? If so, please list the drug and dose. 

 

You are quite right that dental issues can can all sorts of problems. I hope this is resolved and healed. 

Im 3 months into waiting for a call back because im doing it by the public health system,like the NHS only no were near as good.this was only a check up to talk about the work to be done .

I don't even think my body will be up to the work being done so im in no rush .it will be a full extraction on a front tooth that has an infected root canal up there years .

 

Thanks shep. 

[powerback]

31 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

How about consistently taking 1/2 of a 2mg tablet?

Ok will do Alto ,thanks .

 

32 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

We need to keep notes of your drug changes, t

Im keeping the changes on a list .Ive only taking one 2mg diazepam on the 23/04/19 at the start of this round of diazepam ..ile stick to 1/2 of diazepam from now on .cheers.

[Altostrata]

powerback, have you felt any effect from the 1mg diazepam?

[powerback]

13 hours ago, Altostrata said:

powerback, have you felt any effect from the 1mg diazepam?

Not really ,im waking with gut wrenching fear and suicide ideation(alot of energy to control it ).theres one symptom of effexor withdrawal that seems to be a gaurentee for everyone and that's chronic fatigue.

Ide say I need a higher dose ?

Thanks ALto.

[powerback]

Back from Drs and any talk of autoimmune  or nervous system disfunction is being put down to severe anxiety ,I can pay for my own comprehensive blood tests .lovely .Of course I felt  like an idiot telling him I take 8 beads of Effexor .

In a severe state of crisis . being so non functional is impossible to hide .my brain feels like when you turn on a laptop that has its memory board all full up ,that clattering noise it makes.at what point do I just give up the ghost and go to hospital .

Im only really writing this update for my friends and anyone that enjoys horror shows because im fed up beyond belief .today will be once more a day of hell .

Peace. 

[peng]

Best wishes for you as always, PB.

Horror shows?  Your humour still floors us, man.  Stick around and get well.

PS - I see our turd-brown "P" avatars to the left are like two peas in a pod.  Who's gonna want to eat the f*****s, though? 

[thecowisback]

i love your views on life powerback and peng 😁

[powerback]

2 hours ago, peng said:

Best wishes for you as always, PB.

Horror shows?  Your humour still floors us, man.  Stick around and get well.

PS - I see our turd-brown "P" avatars to the left are like two peas in a pod.  Who's gonna want to eat the f*****s, though? 

All fresh food and milk instantly turn sour when I enter the kitchen ,put a Giger counter over me and it would explode.i can understand superman's kryptonite issues now .withdrawal/meds misery is our/humans  kryptonite .

  I doubt the turd brown is even a coincidence Peng in my case anyway ha.

The birds don't come near the garden anymore ,animals really can sense danger/natural disasters lol.

Take care Peng 🙏. 

[powerback]

1 hour ago, thecowisback said:

i love your views on life powerback and peng 😁

Would you like my Paypal details TCIB ,100 euro is the minimum charge for a laugh lol. 

[thecowisback]

😅😆

[powerback]

45 minutes ago, powerback said:

Would you like my Paypal details TCIB ,100 euro is the minimum charge for a laugh lol. 

Most people in the uk and ireland will know only fools and horse's.

Rodney says in an episode ."knowing my luck ile be reincarnated and come back as myself".lol priceless.

 

I ment to qoute your reply TCIB.THe DSM will label me with naracistic tendencies quoting myself lol.

[thecowisback]

you've brightened my day no end!! 😆

[powerback]

4 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

you've brightened my day no end!! 😆

Your welcome Ha .I'm waiting for Jeremy beadle myself here at the window to reveal this hell has been a prank but hes no were to be seen lol. 

[thecowisback]

now that would have been the only time i would have welcomed jeremy beadle!! 

[Altostrata]

8 hours ago, powerback said:

Back from Drs and any talk of autoimmune  or nervous system disfunction is being put down to severe anxiety ,I can pay for my own comprehensive blood tests .lovely .Of course I felt  like an idiot telling him I take 8 beads of Effexor .

In a severe state of crisis . being so non functional is impossible to hide .my brain feels like when you turn on a laptop that has its memory board all full up ,that clattering noise it makes.at what point do I just give up the ghost and go to hospital .

Im only really writing this update for my friends and anyone that enjoys horror shows because im fed up beyond belief .today will be once more a day of hell .

Peace. 

 

pb, please update your signature with the date you started 1mg diazepam twice a day. Was that Friday, May 3? Have you seen any change in symptoms in the last 5 days?

 

 

[powerback]

Just now, Altostrata said:

 

pb, please update your signature with the date you started 1mg diazepam twice a day. Was that Friday, May 3? Have you seen any change in symptoms in the last 5 days?

 

 

Im really confused today ,did we agree to doing 1mg morning and night  .overall I feel like cr*p.

[Altostrata]

I'm confused, too. Are you taking 1mg diazepam once a day? (Please put date instead of "present" in your signature.)

 

How's your sleep? Has that changed in the last 5 days? Any other symptom changes?

[powerback]

36 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

'm confused, too

sorry 

36 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Are you taking 1mg diazepam once a day? (

sometimes.Ile stick to 1mg at 2130 for the  foreseeable  ?

38 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

How's your sleep? Has that changed in the last 5 days

Rubbish lastnight .I wake with strong fear lately .

Ile have to keep notes now for a few weeks.

As I wrote earlier today was mostly a nightmare .

Thanks Alto .

[Altostrata]

I am really in the dark until I see daily notes. Thanks.

[powerback]

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I am really in the dark until I see daily notes. Thanks.

Ok.🙏

[powerback]

09/05/19

0910:wake,,4.5mg Prozac,,doom,fear,dread on waking.fatigue.

0930:breakfast,,headache,jittery,,Anxiety .

11.00:Air hunger,,shallow breaths[need to consciously think to breathe at times,its weird I seem to hold my breathe,im thinking this is since the prozac] .racing intrusive thoughts.

1145:8 beads of effexor

1400:panic,,anxiety,,,fatigue,,racing thoughts.

1400-1630 slept on and off for the afternoon.crushing fatigue.

19.30:dinner,,airhunger ,,depression.Anhedenia.

2100:Smashed by negative feelings and emotions and flashbacks.

 2130:1mg diazepam .

1230:sleep .moderate. 

Mostly a horrible day and evening .

 

 

[powerback]

10/05/19

0900:wake,,acid headache,,fear,,doom,,anxiety .

0930:breakfast,,4.5mg prozac,,strong fatigue.

11.50:8 beads effeoxor,,racing intrusive thoughts,,muscle tension .

12.30:lunch,,headache,,anxiety.

13.00-1600:ran errands,,felt like a lost lamb walking around ,very uncomfortable ,strong  depression,,strong fatigue..

1800:dinner .Appetite has changed the last few weeks ,not eating well ,no interest.

19.15:legs stiff and feel fatigued ,,lower back ache .

20.00:relaxed somewhat watching podcasts ,even had a laugh.

2130:1mg diazepam .

2230:sleep ok ,vivid anxious dreams .

 

 Mostly feeling very off ,very self-conscious of my toxic moods .constant cold feet ,driving me nuts.

My breathing seems to be gone bad the last few months ,I notice I'm holding my breathe and consciously need to think to breathe properly .

 

Ive been reading up on being addicted to negative feelings and emotions , because im an addict this seems very true .like my system is addicted to the adrenaline rush in my body.I was reading the  thread for safe movies to watch and a lot is resonating with me .I will watch movies that I shouldn't be.

Even years ago before withdrawl ,I would watch the videos on youtube of stunts gone wrong or DIY accidents and I would be zoned out feeling these feelings in my chest and my  system of anxiety .im only coming to terms with this because of reading other members amazing knowledge of there own body's.

Im realising I'm in quite a mess .I actually think these parts of my system mite be permanently switched on before withdrawal .

Thanks.   

 

 

[intothewoods]

On 5/11/2019 at 7:10 AM, powerback said:

My breathing seems to be gone bad the last few months ,I notice I'm holding my breathe and consciously need to think to breathe properly 

 

PB,

 

I have this for over two years. It began at the same time I stopped being able to  swallow liquid without conscious effort. I mean one sip of water, then.... intense thought and straining and.... you can do this and..... it finally goes down. 

 

I believe it's directly related to our muscle tension/diaphragm holding unconsciously. The body is in such turmoil. Like brassmonkey said, withdrawal literally tears the body apart. 

 

[powerback]

9 hours ago, intothewoods said:

 

PB,

 

I have this for over two years. It began at the same time I stopped being able to  swallow liquid without conscious effort. I mean one sip of water, then.... intense thought and straining and.... you can do this and..... it finally goes down. 

 

I believe it's directly related to our muscle tension/diaphragm holding unconsciously. The body is in such turmoil. Like brassmonkey said, withdrawal literally tears the body apart. 

 

Exactly.

Cheers ITWS.take care.

[powerback]

sun 12/04/19

0900:wake,,fear,,doom,,extemly sluggish coming round out of bed.

0930:breakfast,,4.5MG PROZAC,,Anxiety,,

1115:8 beads Effexor.

1130;got out of house ,,felt very off all day ,sat at a busy pier and watching others walk past filled me with envy .

1400:got home from being out and I was tired all day ,intrusive racing thoughts wouldn't abate .

1700:making dinner was a chore ,impossible to make a previous dinner off memory and couldn't follow the reicipe .my partner enjoyed the meal [the main thing]

2000:chilled out watching podcasts with intrusive thoughts running parallel .

2130:1mg diazepam.

2230 :sleep. 

 

Monday 13/04/19

0900:fatigue ,,anxiety ,,fear ,,doom

0930:breakfast,,intrusive racing thoughts.4,5MG PROZAC 

1130 food ,,fatigue.

1145:didnt have the motivation to do an online food shop.[now that's bad]

1200 : a big effort to paint 2 doors I hung in December.

1500: confusion ,,headaches ,,I copped  on that I forgot to take the 8 beads Effexor at my usual 1130 .with an hour of taking them confusion and headaches eased .YES 8 dam beads .

1630:dinner.

1900:extreme fatigue [lifted in an hour to normal fatigue],,

2030:more food.

2130: 1mg diazepam.

2330:sleep.

Im noticing the last week or two I'm always hungry and not satiated .cant tell if its down to my meds [diazepam?]

SI is strong the last couple of days .

with the sun finally out ,I need to wear sun glasses in doors until afternoon at least . 

 

 

[thecowisback]

it might be the prozac causing the hunger. i've put on half a stone since reinstating and i am constantly hungry. before i started prozac all those years ago i was a size 6-8, but after a couple of years i ended up a size 18. it bothered me but as long as the pills worked i put up with it. 

[powerback]

21 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

it might be the prozac causing the hunger. i've put on half a stone since reinstating and i am constantly hungry. before i started prozac all those years ago i was a size 6-8, but after a couple of years i ended up a size 18. it bothered me but as long as the pills worked i put up with it. 

HI TCIB ye theres no ignoring it and I crave dirty bad food ,I wont put up with it,the Prozac isn't  doing anything positive ,add that with me being sedentary ,ile pile on the weight.my nightmare is just getting worse.

Take care ,hope your doing ok.

[thecowisback]

dare i say it - better than of late. i've had a window for the past 2-3 days which is amazing but i'm kind of dreading the end.....

well done on painting the doors! all our doors need doing and i just loo k at them each day and despair. i know i should make a start with just one door but the thought of doing anything in the house sets my anxiety off really badly for some weird reason. my heart is pounding right now as i type this. withdrawal is just so ridiculous!

[powerback]

1 hour ago, thecowisback said:

dare i say it - better than of late. i've had a window for the past 2-3 days which is amazing but i'm kind of dreading the end.....

well done on painting the doors! all our doors need doing and i just loo k at them each day and despair. i know i should make a start with just one door but the thought of doing anything in the house sets my anxiety off really badly for some weird reason. my heart is pounding right now as i type this. withdrawal is just so ridiculous!

Don't be worrying about painting doors ,your doing enough .my partner is away for a few days so it suited me to do them ,youl have to pull your worry back to the fact you had a window but I agree with your fear.

doors have a big glass middle ,so the second I took a Stanley blade out to scrape paint off the glass ,I sliced my finger .Anxiety riddled I was ,mix that with being a perfectionist .I think frank spencer had anxiety because he was so clumsy [some mothers do have'm lol.

Withdrawl is barbaric .

Take care .

 

 

[thecowisback]

😆😆😆

[thecowisback]

i'm despairing today looking at the house. i had a 3 day window which was fabulous and now it's ended i'm looking at the decorating that needs doing, curtain poles need fixing, we need new carpets (we don't have any at all on the stairs which bugs the hell out of me but since being in withdrawal i'm terrified of people coming into the house so the thought of carpet fitters being here fills me with fear - how ridiculous is that? ) there's so much to do and while family members will help when i get round to the jobs it's all down to me in the end. my husband says none of these things matter until i'm feeling better but seeing all that needs doing each days sets my anxiety off terribly. 

how are you doing with your partner away? are you worse when you're alone? 

[powerback]

48 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

i'm despairing today looking at the house. i had a 3 day window which was fabulous and now it's ended i'm looking at the decorating that needs doing, curtain poles need fixing, we need new carpets (we don't have any at all on the stairs which bugs the hell out of me but since being in withdrawal i'm terrified of people coming into the house so the thought of carpet fitters being here fills me with fear - how ridiculous is that? ) there's so much to do and while family members will help when i get round to the jobs it's all down to me in the end. my husband says none of these things matter until i'm feeling better but seeing all that needs doing each days sets my anxiety off terribly. 

how are you doing with your partner away? are you worse when you're alone? 

Hi TCIB ,listen to your husband ,it doesnt matter its great theres no pressure from him.ide say do a list of what to do but that will give you anxiety.do a priority list,i.e. keep the house functional for your family.ie dinners and looking after your family.stop putting pressure on yourself.

The curtain pole probably a simple fix.

Im in a horrible middle ground of chronically fatigued and fed up so daily chores is enough to keep me busy and tired.

I was out the back painting a small drawer set and triggerd by mental health talk on the radio,I come in and put tv on and its about managing anxiety.my mind running wild with the state im in with fatigue and the state im in .

I miss her in the evenings but im so worried how sick I am if it doesnt change how do I drag her through this mess .im nearly broken by it.

Thanks for asking TCIB  take care.

[thecowisback]

we can only hope you see some improvement soon - it's way past time you got a break from all this crap. 

[powerback]

1 hour ago, thecowisback said:

we can only hope you see some improvement soon - it's way past time you got a break from all this crap. 

Thanks TCIB you too ,i think.the 15mins magnesium bath I had yesterday actually drained me .

Take care.

[powerback]

14/05/19

0900:wake,,,very sluggish getting out of bed,,

0930:4.5MG PROZAC,,breakfast,headache,,racing intrusive thoughts,,legs feel heavy and tired.

1130:fatigue ,,light sensitivity,,8 BEADS EFFEXOR

1200-1300:food prep ,by end of the hour I could barley stand or open my eyes with the fatigue.

1230:tumeric drink.omeg 3 + magnesium 

1300:food.strong SI .

1500:sat in the sun for 30mins ,,racing intrusive thoughts,,

1630:food

1730:  15 mins magnesium bath [the next day I feel drained ]

1900:some vertigo,,exhausted .

2130:1MG DIAZAPAM .

2230 :sleep,vivid dreams .