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powerback: tapering no 2

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dj2010
25 minutes ago, powerback said:

strong anxiety today I wonder is it the breakfast smoothie but its constant anyway lately ,I have a very heavy feeling in my heart and chest ,a bit like I'm ready to just burst crying with emotions ,not overly worried ,I suppose its the healing process ,dam we are a tough bunch to be dealing with this .

hope everyone find some peace and hope today ,if not just keep fighting .

PB

keep up the fight PB, certainly a tough bunch!

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ShakeyJerr
1 hour ago, powerback said:

strong anxiety today I wonder is it the breakfast smoothie but its constant anyway lately ,I have a very heavy feeling in my heart and chest ,a bit like I'm ready to just burst crying with emotions ,not overly worried ,I suppose its the healing process ,dam we are a tough bunch to be dealing with this .

hope everyone find some peace and hope today ,if not just keep fighting .

PB

 

Let the tears come, my friend. They are healing.

 

Have you had a chance to read DARE or Hope And Help For Your Nerves? You can download them to read on a Kindle or tablet, or through the Amazon Cloud Reader. They are both very helpful.

 

SJ

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peng

Hi, pb.

Do remember you are on a relatively low dose.  Such suffering is avoidable if you can be a bit more accepting of the time that is passing, and less fixated on getting to zero, fast.

You can pass it more comfortably if you taper at a slower rate, or even step back to 37.5mg.

I have just got down to 100mg today - I was on 225mg last summer.

 

Just wishing less suffering for you young man!

Besy wishes

peng

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powerback
2 hours ago, peng said:

Hi, pb.

Do remember you are on a relatively low dose.  Such suffering is avoidable if you can be a bit more accepting of the time that is passing, and less fixated on getting to zero, fast.

You can pass it more comfortably if you taper at a slower rate, or even step back to 37.5mg.

I have just got down to 100mg today - I was on 225mg last summer.

 

Just wishing less suffering for you young man!

Besy wishes

peng

HI peng thanks for your input ,I have no option but to get off the drug its never worked for me its only destroyed me so recovery will happen when I'm off it .this drug has put my life in serious jeopardy ,that's not an over statement [sorry for triggers to anyone reading this ].

I actually have feelings of my old character making little glimpses today .these drugs have never helped me so its never an option to ever touch them again .

I'm actually on a decent hold of only 1 bead out at a time so its slow enough taper .ile have the added bonus of not putting a poisonous flu jab in my system this year ,I believe this mixed with withdrawl tipped me over the edge last October /November .

suffering wasn't avoidable I'm my case because I followed doctors advice 2 years ago and just coped with symptoms until I joined SA in January .

Its only the last few months I have realised the damage the drugs did to me .I had no proper brain function the whole time ,maybe subconsciously I was avoiding how  serious it was . I will need to get therapy because of the depths of despair withdrawl has brought  me and many other members no doubt .

Hope you doing well yourself my friend ,take care

PB

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powerback
3 hours ago, ShakeyJerr said:

 

Let the tears come, my friend. They are healing.

 

Have you had a chance to read DARE or Hope And Help For Your Nerves? You can download them to read on a Kindle or tablet, or through the Amazon Cloud Reader. They are both very helpful.

 

SJ

Thanks SJ I hope your well also .

No haven't read it ,ile look it up thanks .

Take care

PB

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Scorpio
2 hours ago, powerback said:

HI peng thanks for your input ,I have no option but to get off the drug its never worked for me its only destroyed me so recovery will happen when I'm off it .this drug has put my life in serious jeopardy ,that's not an over statement [sorry for triggers to anyone reading this ].

I actually have feelings of my old character making little glimpses today .these drugs have never helped me so its never an option to ever touch them again .

I'm actually on a decent hold of only 1 bead out at a time so its slow enough taper .ile have the added bonus of not putting a poisonous flu jab in my system this year ,I believe this mixed with withdrawl tipped me over the edge last October /November .

suffering wasn't avoidable I'm my case because I followed doctors advice 2 years ago and just coped with symptoms until I joined SA in January .

Its only the last few months I have realised the damage the drugs did to me .I had no proper brain function the whole time ,maybe subconsciously I was avoiding how  serious it was . I will need to get therapy because of the depths of despair withdrawl has brought  me and many other members no doubt .

Hope you doing well yourself my friend ,take care

PB

Hi PB

I hope you are feeling better.  It is as though we have the same history with the drug making us so ill for the whole time on it and drs telling me it was me not trying hard enough and I searched endlessly to find out what on earth was wrong with me. It wasn't until I had already c/t that I found SA   I am have been on 1mg for 7 weeks now and been to hell and back on a regular basis during that time. Tonight is a bit easier but please don't rush your reduction. I was on 8mg to nothing and it's been horrible ever since. 

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powerback
49 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi PB

I hope you are feeling better.  It is as though we have the same history with the drug making us so ill for the whole time on it and drs telling me it was me not trying hard enough and I searched endlessly to find out what on earth was wrong with me. It wasn't until I had already c/t that I found SA   I am have been on 1mg for 7 weeks now and been to hell and back on a regular basis during that time. Tonight is a bit easier but please don't rush your reduction. I was on 8mg to nothing and it's been horrible ever since. 

Hi scorpio ,idiot doctors ,I will probably write my doctor a letter when im better showing him proof hes rhetoric is built on lies and the fact I survived in spite if him,if I followed him I could of been on 300mg and more types of drugs maybe.

Im giving myself till next summer and long holds the last quater also .

Nice you having a break tonight ,its been so rough for you, take care.

PB

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Scorpio
7 minutes ago, powerback said:

Hi scorpio ,idiot doctors ,I will probably write my doctor a letter when im better showing him proof hes rhetoric is built on lies and the fact I survived in spite if him,if I followed him I could of been on 300mg and more types of drugs maybe.

Im giving myself till next summer and long holds the last quater also .

Nice you having a break tonight ,its been so rough for you, take care.

PB

Hi PB

I think we all go to hell and back and yes in my mind I have all the things I would love to say to drs and psychiatrists. They are so misinformed by the drug companies and at their worst ignore their patients symptoms by arguing it is our own frailties that have caused them.  Still being angry won't help our delicate systems so will leave it until I am strong enough to give them a left hook!!  

Hope tomorrow us a better day for you too. 

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powerback
9 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi PB

I think we all go to hell and back and yes in my mind I have all the things I would love to say to drs and psychiatrists. They are so misinformed by the drug companies and at their worst ignore their patients symptoms by arguing it is our own frailties that have caused them.  Still being angry won't help our delicate systems so will leave it until I am strong enough to give them a left hook!!  

Hope tomorrow us a better day for you too. 

Ye exactly scorpio the quaks can wait :).

Take care 

PB

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powerback

Hi I just want to note that I'm going for acupuncture/acupressure session in a few hours .I'm anxious of course wondering if its the correct thing to do in withdrawl ,its my second one .I've paid for 6 so ile have to do them ,this dam withdrawl makes you question everything .the cold I had for a few days that wiped me out seems to of gone so that's a bonus and the fact I will not get flu jab this year or again fills me with joy .I have to put my words of staying away from MDs in to practice .

my taper is painfully slow but I keep the tiny beads in a bottle and it gives me a nice feeling to see that there not going into my system and when I get back from my few days away I can ramp up the taper again  .

I will never never ever go back ,how could I ,I don't believe in the disease medical model .all these drugs did was make my negative personality flaws become my normal and my positive attributes disappear ,at times the last 2 months has been a total nightmare ,I could feel people walking away from me and avoiding me and I wouldn't blame them ,literally like being around the devil ,how scary is that .

Thankfully I recognise this as withdrawl and welcome it gone .

Take care everyone

PB

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Martina23

This should be actually something positive, if you have always the feeling that you will burst with emotions, it seems that your emotions are coming back, that is great, keep up the good work

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powerback
2 hours ago, Martina23 said:

This should be actually something positive, if you have always the feeling that you will burst with emotions, it seems that your emotions are coming back, that is great, keep up the good work

Hi martina thanks for your comment,i feel detached today im in a busy town were my acupuncture is and im wrecked tired ,I think ile fall asleep during it  :D.

Hope your well yourself

PB

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powerback

 hi im wondering and have a question if anyone has any thoughts on herbal medicine ,this withdawl has me paranoid about taking the herbal pills the acupuncturist gave me yesterday .surely there ok but you know yourselves in this dam withdrawl .Thanks in advance .

PB

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bubble

 

Google surviving antidepressants plus anything you want to know.

 

People here have covered pretty much everything under the sun re WD

 

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powerback
3 hours ago, bubble said:

 

Google surviving antidepressants plus anything you want to know.

 

People here have covered pretty much everything under the sun re WD

 

Thanks bubble 

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Martina23
6 hours ago, powerback said:

 hi im wondering and have a question if anyone has any thoughts on herbal medicine ,this withdawl has me paranoid about taking the herbal pills the acupuncturist gave me yesterday .surely there ok but you know yourselves in this dam withdrawl .Thanks in advance .

PB

Powerback, I would rather not take them on your place. Your body can be also without herbal pills, if you want to take them, check if they are without alcohol, or what are the ingredients. If there is anything mind altering inside, I wouldnt take them. But if it is only herb, then you can try it.

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powerback
8 minutes ago, Martina23 said:

Powerback, I would rather not take them on your place. Your body can be also without herbal pills, if you want to take them, check if they are without alcohol, or what are the ingredients. If there is anything mind altering inside, I wouldnt take them. But if it is only herb, then you can try it.

Ye exactly ive no way of knowing the ingredients by the looks of the bottle ,thanks for reply martina23

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powerback

Harmonica, reducing one bead a day is too fast. 10% of 62 beads is about 6 beads -- per month. A reduction of 1 bead per week is about a 6% reduction per month (4 beads per month).

 

Hi the above sentence is taken from the tapering thread from alto in 2014 ,I'm putting my ego on the line here and I am so confused and embarrassed but sod the ego because I'm in constant pain and suffering .I'm blaming extreme cog fog ,but my depression is getting at such a worrying state I need to get something done ,how the hell do I treat the depression I know have from this withdrawl .the idea of leaving every trace of my old life behind and starting again somewhere else is getting stronger [desperation ] ,Ive already spent a thousand euro this year on things that I look back at now are from sheer desperation .

 

So my question is for mods and members ,as you can see my signature says I tapered with one bead out [every day] and then in 2 weeks it went to 2 beads every day .I believed this to be a micro taper but its not a coincidence that I've got significantly worse the last 2 months .I'm loosing control of my mind a little bit every day and I believe I am in a toxic withdrawl rather than windows and waves per say .

I totally respect and sympathise with everyone going through such pain but I'm getting to the point were I'm worried ile snap  because I believe its in me to do this . I've serious concern this has changed my personality and its very worrying, dam drugs and I apologise for triggers .I'm keeping a close eye on this but if it gets to a point then I will just stop the drug because I'm either doing something wrong or the drug is slowly eating my brain and personality .and I don't mean just being moody or snappy ,its the extreme end of it .

Thanks in advance folks .

PB

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peng
2 hours ago, powerback said:

So my question is for mods and members ,as you can see my signature says I tapered with one bead out [every day] and then in 2 weeks it went to 2 beads every day .I believed this to be a micro taper but its not a coincidence that I've got significantly worse the last 2 months .I'm loosing control of my mind a little bit every day and I believe I am in a toxic withdrawl rather than windows and waves per say .

I totally respect and sympathise with everyone going through such pain but I'm getting to the point were I'm worried ile snap  because I believe its in me to do this . I've serious concern this has changed my personality and its very worrying, dam drugs and I apologise for triggers .I'm keeping a close eye on this but if it gets to a point then I will just stop the drug because I'm either doing something wrong or the drug is slowly eating my brain and personality .and I don't mean just being moody or snappy ,its the extreme end of it .

Thanks in advance folks .

PB

 

powerback, my pal, I can only reiterate my sentiments of the last couple of times I was concerned about your struggle and passed on my personal advice.  Here are the responses again with some minor editing.  I have experience of Effexor for 15 years and am at my lowest dose for 12 years iirc, and still trying....

 

1.

"Your profile says you are on 37.5mg, pb, but you are talking about removing a bead/beads…….To me - just my opinion - you sound so desperately suffering like you should have been holding at some dose above 37.5mg.  Remaining on the last plateau where you felt reasonably stable. No?

 

Heck, I am on 100.00mg (tapered from 225mg in a year), am holding due to imminent house move yet think I sound in 80% better condition than yourself.

I am 72……….. I have my own demons to fight, but what I hear from you makes me think you have got an unsuitable plan of action in place.

Personally, I have put aside the ambitious thought, or obsession, of getting to zero medication for now.  The sad fact is, I believe, some of us may not be able to completely fulfil that desire.  This is the nature of the beast - whether it be the illness or the chemical.  Doesn't mean we cannot attempt it if circumstances and progress permit, though.

 

If I were on 37.5mg or 75mg and felt OK, I would be delighted with that. 

 

Remember, the key word in WD on here is patience.  Directing hate at doctors, this hellish medication and other things in life, so much, as you seem to be,  will not help at all.

If I am wrong, and it is merely a facet of bitter determination, I hope it sees you through. 

 

Sorry if I sound like I am giving you a good telling off, not really meaning to hurt you, view it as a fatherly jolt to help you sharpen up and check out your tactics.  Rushing forward like a headless chicken is not the best ploy for any of us on here, I would suggest.

 

Best wishes, man."

  

 2.

 "Hi, pb.

Do remember you are on a relatively low dose.  Such suffering is avoidable if you can be a bit more accepting of the time that is passing, and less fixated on getting to zero, fast.

You can pass it more comfortably if you taper at a slower rate, or even step back to 37.5mg.

I have just got down to 100mg today - I was on 225mg last summer.

 

Just wishing less suffering for you young man!

Best wishes"

 

You can recover - I know it - I am still on a positive road and you have the advantage of relative youth,

Best wishes ! 

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powerback
13 hours ago, peng said:

 

powerback, my pal, I can only reiterate my sentiments of the last couple of times I was concerned about your struggle and passed on my personal advice.  Here are the responses again with some minor editing.  I have experience of Effexor for 15 years and am at my lowest dose for 12 years iirc, and still trying....

 

1.

"Your profile says you are on 37.5mg, pb, but you are talking about removing a bead/beads…….To me - just my opinion - you sound so desperately suffering like you should have been holding at some dose above 37.5mg.  Remaining on the last plateau where you felt reasonably stable. No?

 

Heck, I am on 100.00mg (tapered from 225mg in a year), am holding due to imminent house move yet think I sound in 80% better condition than yourself.

I am 72……….. I have my own demons to fight, but what I hear from you makes me think you have got an unsuitable plan of action in place.

Personally, I have put aside the ambitious thought, or obsession, of getting to zero medication for now.  The sad fact is, I believe, some of us may not be able to completely fulfil that desire.  This is the nature of the beast - whether it be the illness or the chemical.  Doesn't mean we cannot attempt it if circumstances and progress permit, though.

 

If I were on 37.5mg or 75mg and felt OK, I would be delighted with that. 

 

Remember, the key word in WD on here is patience.  Directing hate at doctors, this hellish medication and other things in life, so much, as you seem to be,  will not help at all.

If I am wrong, and it is merely a facet of bitter determination, I hope it sees you through. 

 

Sorry if I sound like I am giving you a good telling off, not really meaning to hurt you, view it as a fatherly jolt to help you sharpen up and check out your tactics.  Rushing forward like a headless chicken is not the best ploy for any of us on here, I would suggest.

 

Best wishes, man."

  

 2.

 "Hi, pb.

Do remember you are on a relatively low dose.  Such suffering is avoidable if you can be a bit more accepting of the time that is passing, and less fixated on getting to zero, fast.

You can pass it more comfortably if you taper at a slower rate, or even step back to 37.5mg.

I have just got down to 100mg today - I was on 225mg last summer.

 

Just wishing less suffering for you young man!

Best wishes"

 

You can recover - I know it - I am still on a positive road and you have the advantage of relative youth,

Best wishes ! 

Hi Peng ,I just need someone to tell me one bead  a day out is a micro taper or not (I've constant serious confusion )I'm as thick as 2 planks the last year and it's excruciatingly embarrassing ,I'm becoming the village idiot and this is horrendous .

I've said before I'm not dealing with normal withdrawal in the aspect of dropping  from 75 to 37.5 on doctors advice more than 2 years ago ,so what you say about stabilizing should of been then as in going back to 75  rather than 37.5 and that ship has long sailed because I spent 2016 getting by the screen of my teeth  but this year has been a nightmare ,,as you can see I've had symptoms on 37.5 all the time so being stable and getting on with life isn't an option .even the fist year or so on meds dulled me in a profound negative way that I'm dealing with the consiquences now as in goal settings and motivation was taken away .and I wasn't even the most gaol orientated before meds .

We all have a different  genetic make  up and I realise these drugs were the worst thing for me to be given ,my sister thank god realised she is sensitive to  meds and has cleared her system of them (no antidepressants).the future for people will have to be a genetic test before going on such powerful drugs .

Even my hangovers seemed worse than other people's  ,this isn't a macho egotistical attitude ,it's sheer genetic make up .

 

Thanks for your input and even though I'm super sensitive I totally appreciate and see your trying to help so respect to you .

Hope your move going ok .

PB

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peng

Sure, pb,

a bead or three is normally a micro taper, but one should probably not be tapering at all if feeling as ill as you sound from the so-called discontinuation syndrome.

 

Your apt phrase about the 75 to 37.5mg "ship having long sailed" is almost certainly correct.

 

However, maybe a mod can advise you of a temporary small reinstatement amount to relieve you of such harrowing anguish at the moment, until you are on a stable enough platform from which to resume your taper with renewed resources?

 

All the best, my pal. 

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powerback
37 minutes ago, peng said:

Sure, pb,

a bead or three is normally a micro taper, but one should probably not be tapering at all if feeling as ill as you sound from the so-called discontinuation syndrome.

 

Your apt phrase about the 75 to 37.5mg "ship having long sailed" is almost certainly correct.

 

However, maybe a mod can advise you of a temporary small reinstatement amount to relieve you of such harrowing anguish at the moment, until you are on a stable enough platform from which to resume your taper with renewed resources?

 

All the best, my pal. 

Hi peng ye thanks for confirming and reassuring me about the micro taper I'm so confused  .

 

Ye I'm in an impossible position but a lot of the emotional anguish has valid merit that I cant  put all down to withdrawal ,a bit like I'm dealing with grief over lost years and regret [ruminating] about my past ,so I think ide be  doing myself an injustice to put everything down to withdrawal so I need to seek out therapy again to wade through the thorns ,but trying to find proper help is a lot of work and expensive .[not just years wasted  on meds ],[years wasted siting in pubs and coasting through life aimlessly ]I'm on a quest to try understand it but admittedly getting obsessive ,its painful being so honest but hopefully others can see patterns in there life that are destructive and catch it earlier for themselves .I was very self critical before meds so all they did is make me worse in every negative way .

 

if the drugs work for some people well and good but for my personality and character and genetic makeup ,I believe its like putting anthrax in my system .over exaggeration on purpose to show my contempt for being giving and accepting the drug .as what was talked about the other day by a member  ,I will try to flip this experience and use it as a positive one for the rest of my life , 

 

Reinstatement isn't an option in my case ,that's what I believe now from all my research ,so the message needs to get out never listen to your doctor as I did .

Take care and thanks for your reply's today.

PB

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Scorpio
1 hour ago, powerback said:

Hi peng ye thanks for confirming and reassuring me about the micro taper I'm so confused  .

 

Ye I'm in an impossible position but a lot of the emotional anguish has valid merit that I cant  put all down to withdrawal ,a bit like I'm dealing with grief over lost years and regret [ruminating] about my past ,so I think ide be  doing myself an injustice to put everything down to withdrawal so I need to seek out therapy again to wade through the thorns ,but trying to find proper help is a lot of work and expensive .[not just years wasted  on meds ],[years wasted siting in pubs and coasting through life aimlessly ]I'm on a quest to try understand it but admittedly getting obsessive ,its painful being so honest but hopefully others can see patterns in there life that are destructive and catch it earlier for themselves .I was very self critical before meds so all they did is make me worse in every negative way .

 

if the drugs work for some people well and good but for my personality and character and genetic makeup ,I believe its like putting anthrax in my system .over exaggeration on purpose to show my contempt for being giving and accepting the drug .as what was talked about the other day by a member  ,I will try to flip this experience and use it as a positive one for the rest of my life , 

 

Reinstatement isn't an option in my case ,that's what I believe now from all my research ,so the message needs to get out never listen to your doctor as I did .

Take care and thanks for your reply's today.

PB

Hi powerback. 

Hopefully one of the mods will reply to give you some advice soon.   Maybe a small updose will help try and stabilise enough to give you a fighting chance .  Please don't despair as bubble keeps having to say to me minute by minute, hour by hour.  

My thoughts go with you. 

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jkun41

Hi power, I don't know if you'll find this helpful, but I wanted to let you know that regardless of fog your intelligence hasn't gone anywhere. You popped into my thread last week, so you're aware of some of the downright stupid thoughts that have sent me into panic, many of which are caused by my worry about cognition. 

 

It may be a small victory, but read over your posts from the past week. You continue to be articulate. You explain things well, and most of all you're able to explain the process you've gone through in withdrawal with great detail. 

 

Your brain hasn't gone anywhere. Much like me, it's hyper focused on the worry and the negative. It's not a coincidence that we can both explain in great detail what we have gone through. 

 

You're still there, friend.

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powerback

Hi everyone I want to do an update .

As I write this I'm sick to my stomach with anxiety .

 

I got back from a few days away and I'm in recovery mode ever since .I didn't sleep well while away and functioned on autopilot .

my little niece kept me busy and i enjoyed  he warpath and kind little soul .I owe her so much for the time I spend with her .she has been one of the few breaks I get from my pain this whole year .

 

I don't think I will go to much into my pain and symptoms  but just to say its bad and I'm worried ,but before anyone suggests about meds, up dosing wont help because I'm in protracted withdrawl a long time .if anything I'm a case to totally stop because its so bad on a micro taper [not the advice from mods I know ].

 

To end a bad week yesterday I got it in my head yesterday to try out a psychologist and it was a mistake because I'm way to sick but desperate at the same time .

I'm well aware my ego would not like a lot of things that were put to it yesterday but at the same time this man had no evidence for some of he's claims that strongly irritated me and he didn't like when I challenged him on he's beliefs .

 

The second I mentioned alcohol he ran with that and I said to him that  a neurologist and a scan can only give evidence for what you say .

I'm not doubting alcohol mite have a part to play but when I said about my behaviour as a child before alcohol he ignored me so in my mind and opinion this is wrong to lead with such a bold statement on one thing and ignore another .

 

Please be careful when in withdrawl and doing therapy ,judge your own ability to do it and make sure your well first .

I mentioned madinamerica and he was defensive so that says it all ,I mentioned about madinamerica  trying to be unbiased and he didn't like that .

 

Another thing is ,I believe he was way to young to have a private practice and what monitoring goes on ,god only knows .you see Ireland is still a very clicky and nepotistic country .I believe there is no huge morality anymore ,theres just who you know and "I have the credentials" and sod the rest .this is the fact of modern society .

before anyone thinks I'm using this to hate on authority[maybe i am ;)] ,this is not the case ,I respect this man as a human being but that's were it ends I'm afraid .

he went on like a life coach in this session and this was wrong .only at the end he said what do I want from him ,good question ,well nothing at 90 euro a session I cant afford it I said to myself .

I had therapy a few years ago so I'm not new to it and I'm not having a rant because i don't like what i heard ,he was wrong to lead me down a path with no evidence .very venerable people are going to these places and they don't have the access to the sites i have .in my opinion the criticism of psychiatry is justified and if that "profession " is so guarded and defensive we got to wonder why in my opinion .

 

Note to self ,no more self discovery for the rest of the year please [addiction i think ].

anyway thanks for the rant and i hope we all wake up tomorrow miraculously fixed and well .

Peace

PB

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Scorpio
8 hours ago, powerback said:

Hi everyone I want to do an update .

As I write this I'm sick to my stomach with anxiety .

 

I got back from a few days away and I'm in recovery mode ever since .I didn't sleep well while away and functioned on autopilot .

my little niece kept me busy and i enjoyed  he warpath and kind little soul .I owe her so much for the time I spend with her .she has been one of the few breaks I get from my pain this whole year .

 

I don't think I will go to much into my pain and symptoms  but just to say its bad and I'm worried ,but before anyone suggests about meds, up dosing wont help because I'm in protracted withdrawl a long time .if anything I'm a case to totally stop because its so bad on a micro taper [not the advice from mods I know ].

 

To end a bad week yesterday I got it in my head yesterday to try out a psychologist and it was a mistake because I'm way to sick but desperate at the same time .

I'm well aware my ego would not like a lot of things that were put to it yesterday but at the same time this man had no evidence for some of he's claims that strongly irritated me and he didn't like when I challenged him on he's beliefs .

 

The second I mentioned alcohol he ran with that and I said to him that  a neurologist and a scan can only give evidence for what you say .

I'm not doubting alcohol mite have a part to play but when I said about my behaviour as a child before alcohol he ignored me so in my mind and opinion this is wrong to lead with such a bold statement on one thing and ignore another .

 

Please be careful when in withdrawl and doing therapy ,judge your own ability to do it and make sure your well first .

I mentioned madinamerica and he was defensive so that says it all ,I mentioned about madinamerica  trying to be unbiased and he didn't like that .

 

Another thing is ,I believe he was way to young to have a private practice and what monitoring goes on ,god only knows .you see Ireland is still a very clicky and nepotistic country .I believe there is no huge morality anymore ,theres just who you know and "I have the credentials" and sod the rest .this is the fact of modern society .

before anyone thinks I'm using this to hate on authority[maybe i am ;)] ,this is not the case ,I respect this man as a human being but that's were it ends I'm afraid .

he went on like a life coach in this session and this was wrong .only at the end he said what do I want from him ,good question ,well nothing at 90 euro a session I cant afford it I said to myself .

I had therapy a few years ago so I'm not new to it and I'm not having a rant because i don't like what i heard ,he was wrong to lead me down a path with no evidence .very venerable people are going to these places and they don't have the access to the sites i have .in my opinion the criticism of psychiatry is justified and if that "profession " is so guarded and defensive we got to wonder why in my opinion .

 

Note to self ,no more self discovery for the rest of the year please [addiction i think ].

anyway thanks for the rant and i hope we all wake up tomorrow miraculously fixed and well .

Peace

PB

Hi powerback

I'm so pleased you were able to enjoy a few days with your niece even though you are now paying for it. 

Psychologists, psychiatrists all read from the same hymn sheet. Forget them and stick with SA at least people on here have the experience of what withdrawal, reinstating etc are all about unlike 99% of the medical professionals. 

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Lakelander82

You're right Powerback, Ireland has always been rife with nepotism and cronyism. It was always who you knew not what you knew. That said, by any measurement of Human development indices, it is one of the best places in the world to live. 12.20 on the video below proves that point. 

 

 

 

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powerback
14 hours ago, Scorpio said:

Hi powerback

I'm so pleased you were able to enjoy a few days with your niece even though you are now paying for it. 

Psychologists, psychiatrists all read from the same hymn sheet. Forget them and stick with SA at least people on here have the experience of what withdrawal, reinstating etc are all about unlike 99% of the medical professionals. 

Hi scorpio thanks for your comment ,it means alot to have experienced suport in a time that its becoming impossible .

I hope your well in yourself.

PB

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Scorpio

Hi powerback

no in terrible state like you. Every symptom has come back with force and yesterday back went after picking grandson up. Now back in complete spasm agony which has knocked me even more. Feeling utterly hopeless today. 

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5 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

Hi powerback

no in terrible state like you. Every symptom has come back with force and yesterday back went after picking grandson up. Now back in complete spasm agony which has knocked me even more. Feeling utterly hopeless today. 

:angry: ah what a pain for you (sorry for the pun).im trying to figure out my extreme depression im left with myself ,I dont think itl just disappear as a withdrawl symptom.im not able to just ly in bed and let myself acept my situation .my mind is literly torchuring its self .so im in serious trouble.

Hope you can find some relief from your hopelessness.

my day is filled with finding ways to switch off ,but its like having a horror movie run in my head constantly.

How does anyone accept there life could be ruined .sorry for triggers.

PB

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Scorpio

God we make a good pair don't we. If it was a comedy on tv it would be funny!  I just tried to shower and couldn't get dry or dressed because of back. Don't know which is worse, anxiety, nausea or back. 

'I am going to stick my head in my iPad and try and play mindless games and hopefully drop back to sleep.  Life is definitely not a bowl of cherries at the moment. 

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powerback
12 hours ago, Lakelander82 said:

You're right Powerback, Ireland has always been rife with nepotism and cronyism. It was always who you knew not what you knew. That said, by any measurement of Human development indices, it is one of the best places in the world to live. 12.20 on the video below proves that point. 

 

 

 

Hi lakelander thanks for your reply .reading back on my comment I regret it somewhat ,I supose coming into any situation with the miserible pessimism im in at the moment everything is negative .

We could talk for days on the pros and cons I suppose.im in an extremely pitiful why me situation at the moment and I hope to crawl out of it or im in serious trouble (already am).human nature is conditioned to ignore and keep away from people in my situation so its horendous trying to crawl out of it.

My loving partner just came to me for afection and I got extremly iritated ,this is a horendous situation to be in .I now believe in being possessed by demons .

And im on a micro taper.

I know realise I have mental ilness because of the meds and how do I treat this horrrible tragic irony .what a mess .

Sorry for triggers and I hope your well

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powerback
29 minutes ago, Scorpio said:

God we make a good pair don't we. If it was a comedy on tv it would be funny!  I just tried to shower and couldn't get dry or dressed because of back. Don't know which is worse, anxiety, nausea or back. 

'I am going to stick my head in my iPad and try and play mindless games and hopefully drop back to sleep.  Life is definitely not a bowl of cherries at the moment. 

:D I actually have a dark sense of humour but I cant seem to find much humour lately off my own exspense .sidation comes to mind at the moment .

Going to put songs to make you cry into youtube and get a release .I can feel emotions built up like a dam inside me ,I wont question them because the anger and rage worry me .crying doesn't

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TryingToHoldOn
On 9/23/2017 at 3:36 AM, powerback said:

Hi everyone I want to do an update .

As I write this I'm sick to my stomach with anxiety .

 

I got back from a few days away and I'm in recovery mode ever since .I didn't sleep well while away and functioned on autopilot .

my little niece kept me busy and i enjoyed  he warpath and kind little soul .I owe her so much for the time I spend with her .she has been one of the few breaks I get from my pain this whole year .

 

I don't think I will go to much into my pain and symptoms  but just to say its bad and I'm worried ,but before anyone suggests about meds, up dosing wont help because I'm in protracted withdrawl a long time .if anything I'm a case to totally stop because its so bad on a micro taper [not the advice from mods I know ].

 

To end a bad week yesterday I got it in my head yesterday to try out a psychologist and it was a mistake because I'm way to sick but desperate at the same time .

I'm well aware my ego would not like a lot of things that were put to it yesterday but at the same time this man had no evidence for some of he's claims that strongly irritated me and he didn't like when I challenged him on he's beliefs .

 

The second I mentioned alcohol he ran with that and I said to him that  a neurologist and a scan can only give evidence for what you say .

I'm not doubting alcohol mite have a part to play but when I said about my behaviour as a child before alcohol he ignored me so in my mind and opinion this is wrong to lead with such a bold statement on one thing and ignore another .

 

Please be careful when in withdrawl and doing therapy ,judge your own ability to do it and make sure your well first .

I mentioned madinamerica and he was defensive so that says it all ,I mentioned about madinamerica  trying to be unbiased and he didn't like that .

 

Another thing is ,I believe he was way to young to have a private practice and what monitoring goes on ,god only knows .you see Ireland is still a very clicky and nepotistic country .I believe there is no huge morality anymore ,theres just who you know and "I have the credentials" and sod the rest .this is the fact of modern society .

before anyone thinks I'm using this to hate on authority[maybe i am ;)] ,this is not the case ,I respect this man as a human being but that's were it ends I'm afraid .

he went on like a life coach in this session and this was wrong .only at the end he said what do I want from him ,good question ,well nothing at 90 euro a session I cant afford it I said to myself .

I had therapy a few years ago so I'm not new to it and I'm not having a rant because i don't like what i heard ,he was wrong to lead me down a path with no evidence .very venerable people are going to these places and they don't have the access to the sites i have .in my opinion the criticism of psychiatry is justified and if that "profession " is so guarded and defensive we got to wonder why in my opinion .

 

Note to self ,no more self discovery for the rest of the year please [addiction i think ].

anyway thanks for the rant and i hope we all wake up tomorrow miraculously fixed and well .

Peace

PB

I'm glad you found some enjoyment with your niece.  That can be very healing for you.  I agree, therapy can be dangerous during WD.  You have to find the right therapist and one you trust.  So many just want to label you (us) instead of providing productive ways of handling our feelings.  I think the resourced provided by SA are sufficient during this WD phase.

 

I am sorry that you're not doing well and hope you get a break soon.  

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1 hour ago, TryingToHoldOn said:

I'm glad you found some enjoyment with your niece.  That can be very healing for you.  I agree, therapy can be dangerous during WD.  You have to find the right therapist and one you trust.  So many just want to label you (us) instead of providing productive ways of handling our feelings.  I think the resourced provided by SA are sufficient during this WD phase.

 

I am sorry that you're not doing well and hope you get a break soon.  

Hi TTHO thanks for your comment ,ye its been hell ,but after posting today I had a release of emotion that I didn't judge and let it flow ,I then felt the energy to go for a small jog and loved it , I had to be careful not to over do it and be mindful of the high that comes after it .so dare I say I had a window ,so we all have to keep focus and I'm so grateful for the support of my fellow members .still have loads of symptoms but ile take that today.

 

your correct the site has what I need so big mistake on Friday going there .

it was like trying to walk with broken legs ,just impossible to process anything going on in my mind in withdrawal.

 

Ye my niece has a guardian for life ,she came along in a phase of change in my life and then withdrawal also ,so I allow myself to absorb her innocent affection and joy .

So my break came today so thanks for hoping for me :D.

Hoping you the same peace

PB

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Scorpio

Hi powerback 

'brilliant you had a window. Here's to many more. 

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