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bhasski

bhasski : Damaged all over ... physically , mentally and spiritually

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bhasski

Thanks squeak.

I think its not possible to leave the wedding as my whole family would be there and I am unable to stand even straight without getting dizzy, heavy for long. All my past study years I have never worried distances, I was loving them in the journey.

 

But now few kms make me afraid. I am not getting how to come back and live along. There is this feeling of zero confidence, atleast people behaves that I haven't have any because of my conducts.

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AliG

Bhasski.  I hope it goes well. You can only be yourself at this time and everyone will have to accept that for better or worse. I have found that being honest about your condition can sometimes help. I'm sure it will be fine.

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bhasski

Hi

Is there anyone here active who recovered with severe gastric issues.

I am not able to digest anything of staple food and fruits available. Its been since year and I am constant uneasiness near heart and head exploding as if air is filled.

 

 

I am tired of trying supplements and really tired to do anything to make me better.

 

I started hating to see the food even my favourite one. I am depressed i know but it seems this damage is permanent.

 

I want some doctor to check my insides check as if something is doing constant problem. But afraid to not able to talk with them.

 

My head is constant burning on a scale of 4 with back of neck .

Neck is stiff too.

 

Please make me in touch with somebody who know things a little bit.

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ChessieCat

With regard to your question to me in PM about pregnenolone, this is the link to SA's discussion:  pregnenolone.  I have no personal experience with this.

 

It is best to ask questions here in your Intro topic.  That way it keeps your questions, responses and history in one place.  It also helps other members.

 

There are many existing topics on this site.  I use google and using this example I typed in survivingantidepressants.org pregnenolone

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bhasski

Hi,

Thanks for reply . I have not found anything experience related anywhere and I wanted someone who is taking to reply. Also I wanted to keep you and altrostrata in loop with the conversation.

 

Also I chose not to put it here because of getting vagueness here.

 

 

Anyways if anyone having any results with Pregnenolone supplementation then please reply

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bhasski

Pregnenolone... if anyone having any experiences, then pls share .

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bhasski

Is there anyone to reply? I have searched over Internet.. but want to listen someone here. I have gone through reddit ,google .. some say solid. But I am in fear of further damage. Severe trust issues here now.

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bhasski

Pregnenolone.. some inputs ?

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scallywag

bhasski

 

Why are you considering taking pregnenolone?

 

Did you read all the posts in the topic about it?
 

Here's your post in that topic and my reply:

 

Is Pregnenolone okay for males to take ? Or will it imbalance them with more female hormones ? It will be another stressor to take out with those new symptomms

I am talking about just a small dosage of about 5mg.

Actually I have ordered it, will take 2 minimum weeks to arrive but there is very less experiences here of anyone to know of that.

Pls reply.



bhasski, You're asking excellent questions. Unfortunately we can't answer them. Have you asked your doctor? A pharmacist?

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bhasski

Hi everybody,

I am not well and it was not getting better.

But

Last night i took a dose of a tablet that my doctor give me after ulnar neuropathy surgery.

Its pregabalin 75mg/ nortriptyline 10mg.

I slept and it morning and i found about 40% symptoms subsided. Chest pain and stomach cramps 70% less. Legs are having enery... less restlessness.

 

And this positive effect is getting less by time.

I know this is nortriptyline coz pregabalin only before I have taken but didn't help.

 

Should i take it please advice.

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bhasski

I slept after I posted last comment for 2 hrs in heavily dreaming state. It was I like i am living the dream.

 

I don't want to take it but this has made me calm.

Not much positive mood but less angry.

 

I have taken Pregabalin before , i know its not from it ... its from 10mg nortriptyline in the combination.

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bhasski

bhasski

 

Why are you considering taking pregnenolone?

 

Did you read all the posts in the topic about it?

 

Here's your post in that topic and my reply:

 

Is Pregnenolone okay for males to take ? Or will it imbalance them with more female hormones ? It will be another stressor to take out with those new symptomms

 

I am talking about just a small dosage of about 5mg.

 

Actually I have ordered it, will take 2 minimum weeks to arrive but there is very less experiences here of anyone to know of that.

 

Pls reply.

bhasski, You're asking excellent questions. Unfortunately we can't answer them. Have you asked your doctor? A pharmacist?

 

Reason i ordered coz people on web says pregnenolone lifts mood. Its precursor for testosterone at the top of line.

 

Also dhea is precursor to testosterone may improve my sexual problems. Also, there is posts of Altostratata saying 2.5mg helped her in sleep issues.

 

 

I expect i will not get the orders coming 2 weeks. I live in India and placed orders with U.S sites. Previous experience says minimum 3 weeks if not get stuck with custom duties.

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bhasski

Another symptom emerged... its sexual and may be not. Although I am suffering from severe sexual dysfunction.

 

 

Symptom: There is vibration or continuous contractions just on the genitals. Its like muscle twitches there.

 

When once started... they come even at intervals of 2-3 minutes. They stay for about 10s.

 

 

Its cruelsome. You are indeed suffering which is less for this nasty WD

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bhasski

Function over .. its like embarrassing torture with everyone asking how are you smiling... and you cannot smile.

And answer that you r good enough to live at least...

 

Taken 3 days Nortriptyline 10mg to knock myself off except yesterday.

 

 

Also internal vibrations at genitals.. its like shivering inside.. without cold. And you can't even feel touch externally...

 

I am going to see an allopathic doctor now. 15 months of torture without a window is hell enough.

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bhasski

I finally saw a GP , and he reinstated me on librium 10mg 1-1-1 , amitriptyline 12.5 and soldium valproate CR 500.

 

 

Finally gave up as nothing going better.

Its been 2 days of reinstatement.

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bhasski

Update.

Today is the last day of sedation.

People here will say i juat hecked my CNS again amd yes I did.

 

Two marriages of close cousins and I couldn't talk people, let alone participating in ceremonies.

 

 

I gave up to a GP who first said mu depression is deep rooted, but he ll give a single try , if nothing works, go sew AIIMS... terminal in India.

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bhasski

Also,

I got this micro-pulse ICES device which this selfhacked.com guy promotes.

 

I am using it for three days, but who knows what its doing... May be he know better as he got 10%... ????????????

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bhasski

Couldn't sleep .. went to bed 1:45 am... closed eyes.. started seeing pictures.. frns, some very rarely talked .. some unknown.. woke up several times.

Then closed eyes in morning at around 7. Asked my mom to shut door and then again pictures and dream. I left the bed 10:45am exact , so tired.

 

This has happened before. Its like something suppressed torturing coming back.

It happens daily, but about 70% of what happened yesterday.

May be i read the article here in the Events where a 30yr old done suicide.

 

Balance issues are there, like legs wobble ..fatigue like I have done a lot. Sexual issues... I am writing because I am here with my mom and a maid that helps her. I cannot talk them.

 

 

Got a call from a person for SDE position. I told him having personal issues. What to tell that I have to restart with no capability to restart...

 

Usually I was listening to people to go to my own shop sit listen a year ago...

But there the questions ... engineer .. left job.. back again.. nothing here, y come back daily frm people. I could have thrown a slack to those oldies ... or stop.going.. latter is chosen.

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peng

Man, don't attach any great significance to dreams/pictures when you are so overwrought.

They are only due to chemicals, impulses, neurons shunting around and doing stuff in your brain.

 

I see you have CTd.  Personally, I do not think that has helped.  Venlafaxine is a potion from hell.  All who have been on it on here will say the same.

Nevertheless, if you tread carefully and treat it with respect, and the other drugs you have been on, you may be able to sneak it out of your system without getting into such a disaster area as you now find yourself.

 

People do not seem to want to respond to you readily because you are painting a very chaotic confused and restless picture.  I guess you are in a mess and are being very impulsive.  Take things one at a time.  Libido and sexual ability will come back, do not pressure yourself into thinking you are done.  You are a lot younger than many of us, I think, and time is on your side.

 

I am not a doctor but from my own long experience,  I would say you need to see one and get on a platform with, ideally, one drug only.  From there, with patience, you have a good chance of improving, because nowhere seems as bad as what you are describing.  Many of us are on much higher doses of ADs, etc. but by managing the problem without rushing into things like a headless chicken we, who will have been feeling as bad or worse than you currently seem, are managing the problem in a more considered manner.

 

Best wishes! and remember, you are not alone, we have been there and survived so far and are still looking forward to better times.

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bhasski

I just saw one a week ago. Noone keeps it simple. Benzos + Ads+ anti convulsant. And that too 3 times a day of librium sad chill.

 

No doctor would consider me other than that. I had been to many, not all I can go to.

You are right about me a mess and restless and impulsive.

 

I was just writing and it was an easy guess that people here ignoring my mess.

 

I will keep writing as its like a record. I don't do writing as got another problem which u ll say "mess" again.

 

Keep ignoring ... but wish me luck without meds.

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bhasski

Btw it was the doctor who told me to go to 15 day taper of Paroxetine. Nothing said about z-drugs.. say on it for 15 days l,then stop it. Or keep it.

 

Now I was young, told not to see internet - obeyed.

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snostorm

I have been given strict instructions to stay off the internet by my psych NP.  Obviously I havent obeyed.  My obsessive personality keeps me ever searching gathering information and seeking knowledge.  I have learned however that it can be a minefield.  I do wish I found this site before I started trying to come off of Paxil.  It was too late. I was told be a professional that my taper from Paxil was responsible.  The one I see now knows it was not and is confident she can help me If I work with her.  So far I am ok. 

 

FWIW 

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mammaP

Hi Bhasski,  I just read your topic and I am sorry that you are suffering so badly. Are you taking the drugs the doctor gave you recently? How about the nortriptyline?  

 

Sadly doctors know nothing about the drugs they prescribe, and they HATE patients who do their own research. What plans does the new professional have for you? 

 

I have been given strict instructions to stay off the internet by my psych NP.  Obviously I havent obeyed.  My obsessive personality keeps me ever searching gathering information and seeking knowledge.  I have learned however that it can be a minefield.  I do wish I found this site before I started trying to come off of Paxil.  It was too late. I was told be a professional that my taper from Paxil was responsible.  The one I see now knows it was not and is confident she can help me If I work with her.  So far I am ok. 

 

FWIW 

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bhasski

MammaP,

I have not gone to the GP again and stopped the meds ... though I continued the ayurvedic meds which bring my blood pressure little stable over the course of 20 days.

 

They are not doing much , but neither there is bad reaction.

Yesterday couldn't sleep in night too.. had a headache and I took 1mg etizolam that I found somewhere in stack. I crapped the whole day in sedation but no sleep.

 

Sleep issues were little overgrown again. No night sleep.

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bhasski

I started today with 5mg of Pregnenolone. Though in afternoon bcoz I was bed laid all morning coz of no night sleep.

 

I am feeling its effect. But will tell more about it later after a week.

 

Actually I ll go thru niacin 500, D3 2000 and Pregnenolone stack once I have all.

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AliG

Bhasski.  Unfortunately,  I CT'ed before I found this site. If it hadn't been for searching the internet I would not have become aware of the dangers of psych drugs and the medical profession in general.

 

There is a lot to be said for gathering knowledge. Doctors seem intimidated now as they are not the only source of information. We are starting to educate ourselves and take our power back. As Mamma P said , this threatens them and they don't like it.

 

Please be careful with supplements. I have tried so many during this experience and most have been not only unhelpful but seriously hindered my progress.

 

Magnesium has been magic in many ways. I highly recommend it in all it's many forms : oil spray, epsom salts( bath) and supplementation.

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

Melatonin has been helpful : It can help to recover the sleep cycle ( circadian rythm)

Melatonin for sleep

 

Also fish oil .

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

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bhasski

Heck of stressful day !!!

Grandfather predicted his death; morning told my father to call inform other uncles- while i was tolling in bed.

Locales arrived and he got better with acid reflux pill. To mention, hes suffering dementia after a brain surgery. He forgot what had happened.

 

I, on the other hand, pity my emotions - i was getting angry and stressed for all at home. I know his age, his dementia, his falling health.

 

When I left meds, I came back home that I can be of help here with family - it got worse with WD.

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bhasski

Other than this event -

I recalled 7 yrs earlier given Artane for handwriting cramps. I took it for about 2-3 months (2mg) and noticed a great good feeling which I feel now was euphoric high. I stopped it when not helped with hand. Nobody told about its WD then, i got depressed, may be psychosis slowly.

 

Then was given meds thinking Bipolar.

But I stopped the treatment early, with history of moderate recovery in time. But since then emotional troubles always came and go... Highs and low - correctly described. But noone was there to explain things going.

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bhasski

Troubles with hands, its restlessness goes early 10 years from high-school days. Still there ... My hands and others have played a lot with my mind correcting it... I say "mind".

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bhasski

Another update: 2 changes.

1)

I started taking niacin. I started with 250mg and now taking 750 mg. It has made some good changes and little bad.

Good : I can feel the days brigntness. In some aspect , I am a little bit able to think.

Bad: Jaw clenching, bruxism even while awake. Different kind of tightness or in facial muscles.

 

Its been a week.

 

2) Kefir:

Added drinking kefir 2 times a day.

Morning after leaving bed and ladt thing in night except water.

 

Its been 3 days.

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bhasski

Stopped niacin, Kefir continues.

 

Another physical symptom:

Vibrations in genitals. Its like deep inside and cannot feel with touch.

At every 15s or so , there are these vibrations which feels like contractions in genitals. These go upto hours , then come and go.

 

 

I don't know that I have mentioned this before. I don't even recall that what I have written here earlier.

 

Many people have suggested to go off this internet stuff. I try to , but fail coz this is the only resort to me now.

 

New diseases keeps popping up with the old ones still there. Whats more difficult when you don't have enough brain left to cope up in a light positive manner.

 

I am sorry being negative but this is only how i can write.

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bhasski

When will I be able to see a small window ?

I believe this window and waves pattern not works for all.

Not a single day of happiness... easy .. comforting from mind.

 

Doing nothing but cursing everything around will not help for me. Neither I was like this .. its good emotions sucked.. like when you suck light, what remains is dark.

 

Started homeopathy again today who told the doctor done wonders on his parents.

Lets wait and watch.

Though I cannot trust it anymore

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bhasski

Is there anything that can help me with memory?

I am fucked up with it.. i forgot password for my bank ... forgot the money in hand to deposit .. got confused in 10 minutes ride?It breaks me more for what to start with.

 

Does anyone get better and what is the pattern ?

 

Sometimes it seems like those medications are the only hope .. also nobody seems to give a ****, about whatever i write here ... only because i come up with so many problems that u don't have hope left to offer ...

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mammaP

My memory is terrible, it has been really bad since ECT years ago. It has got a bit better since tapering off effexor but is still bad.

 

You have had such a lot of drugs in the last 3-4 years  and your nervous system is struggling. We have replied many times trying to answer your questions but we can't say how long this will last. You have to take each day as it comes and get through it the best way you can. Every day is one day closer to being healed.  It will take time, but you will get better and have to hold on to that thought. Knowing that your body is healing itself will help you to get through this. 

We are all in this together, some are healed and others are just starting the process. Sometimes it is very, very hard to come here and try to comfort and encourage others when we are struggling ourselves. Staff are also in withdrawal or tapering and are here voluntarily to help others. To be told we don't care is hurtful to us because we care very much but there are so many we just can't answer every post.  

 

Please take good care of yourself and be careful of trying other things because they have helped someone else. Everyone is different and what helps one person might harm another.  Often we feel that we must do something when what we really need to do is NOTHING, just allow our bodies to heal themselves. 

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