xyz: Lexapro, my intro

[Gridley]

xyz,

 

Just a reminder that after four 2 1/2% per week tapers, you should hold for two weeks to let your brain catch up with the changes.

 

As I wrote earlier, we recommend tapering only one drug at a time.  In your case, it would be the Lexapro, while holding on the Valium, which can act as a buffer to help with withdrawal symptoms from the Lexapro.

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

 

[xyz]

4 hours ago, Gridley said:

xyz,

 

Just a reminder that after four 2 1/2% per week tapers, you should hold for two weeks to let your brain catch up with the changes.

 

As I wrote earlier, we recommend tapering only one drug at a time.  In your case, it would be the Lexapro, while holding on the Valium, which can act as a buffer to help with withdrawal symptoms from the Lexapro.

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

 

 

i even didn't get to the 4th week yet!

if i wait until i am done with the lex tapper, it would be another 2 years... is it safe to stay on valium for another 2 years? wouldn't it be harder once tolerance withdrawal sets in?

 

[Gridley]

Of course, you're free to do as you think best.   Polydrugging brings with it difficult choices, as I know only too well.  

 

"'Tolerance Withdrawal' is a term usually connected with benzo use. But there is some argument about what it actually is and if it really exists. Google "survivingantidepressants.org benzo tolerance withdrawal" for more information.

•  

 

 

 

Edited June 23, 2018 by Gridley

[bubbles]

Quote

 

bubble, thank you for the positive words. it helps a lot!

i was wondering how i can get off these meds. how bad are your waves?

 

 

@xyz  I hope you start to feel better soon.

 

I have been very lucky with this taper, and have often had no waves at all after drops. If I have a bad wave (not every drop), it typically only lasts up to a week and I have seen enough of a pattern to be able to hold on that long. I've had mostly small drops and have often had long holds at various times. I've been going for four years but for most of that I have felt completely well.

 

Sending virtual hugs

B

[xyz]

bubbles,

thank you for the reply. it is great to know that you feel completely well most of the time.

i might have to rethink my taper taking me 4 years instead of 2 then.

 

after the morning panic attack, i was able to sleep 9 hours and 8 hours in the row something that hasn't happened to me in 2 years!

i have felt really good yesterday the whole day, and this morning no cortisol surge. i think it was the sudden drop of my hormones before my periods combined with the med reduction.

last month, i held for a month, and i didn't feel my PMS at all.

 

the thing is that when in the middle of the withdrawal, i have this tunnel vision that i can't go on like this, how can i get off these meds? while i forget that I had an easy taper off the lex so far.

i am more worried about the valium. i find it 10x harder to reduce.

[Carmie]

On 6/24/2018 at 6:18 PM, xyz said:

bubbles,

thank you for the reply. it is great to know that you feel completely well most of the time.

i might have to rethink my taper taking me 4 years instead of 2 then.

 

after the morning panic attack, i was able to sleep 9 hours and 8 hours in the row something that hasn't happened to me in 2 years!

i have felt really good yesterday the whole day, and this morning no cortisol surge. i think it was the sudden drop of my hormones before my periods combined with the med reduction.

last month, i held for a month, and i didn't feel my PMS at all.

 

the thing is that when in the middle of the withdrawal, i have this tunnel vision that i can't go on like this, how can i get off these meds? while i forget that I had an easy taper off the lex so far.

i am more worried about the valium. i find it 10x harder to reduce.

 

Hi xyz, 

 

How are you doing?  Yes, I’ve resolved myself to the fact too that tapering will take as long as it needs to take. Going too quick really spells disaster. I’m still on a break as I’ve had lots of things I’ve wanted to do and I’ve got a holiday coming up in August. I’m going to start to taper again at the end of August. 

 

I hope youre cortisol surges have kept at bay. Please keep me informed as to how your tapering goes.

 

Sending hugs🤗

[xyz]

Hi Carmie,

thank you for dropping by my thread.

i have being doing better, after my panic attack which was precipitated by my PMS, i went into a 3 days window, still in it a bit.

i was so happy that i went shopping.

sleep is better, mild cortisol surges are back but they calms down right away after my morning coffee.

 

been very busy with work and family. yesterday i had a straight 13 hours at work, drove for 2 hours, met with clients, went back in the office, did some work, went to pick up the kids for their gymnastic night.

through all this, no anxiety at all, maybe they are right when they said that you get stronger if you survive a med taper.

 

i don't have a calendar in my head anymore, i will cut whenever i feel okay until i get hit by a wave, then i will hold.

same old, same old.

i don't get the high i used to have when i was on a higher dose of lexapro, but it is okay, i feel more grounded.

xoxoxo

 

[Carmie]

5 hours ago, xyz said:

Hi Carmie,

thank you for dropping by my thread.

i have being doing better, after my panic attack which was precipitated by my PMS, i went into a 3 days window, still in it a bit.

i was so happy that i went shopping.

sleep is better, mild cortisol surges are back but they calms down right away after my morning coffee.

 

been very busy with work and family. yesterday i had a straight 13 hours at work, drove for 2 hours, met with clients, went back in the office, did some work, went to pick up the kids for their gymnastic night.

through all this, no anxiety at all, maybe they are right when they said that you get stronger if you survive a med taper.

 

i don't have a calendar in my head anymore, i will cut whenever i feel okay until i get hit by a wave, then i will hold.

same old, same old.

i don't get the high i used to have when i was on a higher dose of lexapro, but it is okay, i feel more grounded.

xoxoxo

 

 

Hi xyz, 

 

That’s great you don’t have a calendar in your head anymore. I think the best way to taper is to listen to your body. Calendars just get you into trouble. If we have to hold longer than we would like so be it. Slow and steady does it I reckon. 

 

Wow! You’ve certainly been a busy bee, if I did that I’d be in bed for a week (CFS). How wonderful that you had no anxiety while being so busy. I’m very happy for you.

 

Glad you’re sleeping well. I see you’re taking melatonin, are you finding that beneficial? I’m just having a quiet day at home today but if I get the energy later on I might visit a friend in hospital.

 

We will get off these meds one day. Slow and steady does it💚

 

 

[xyz]

Carmie,

Melatonin is a life safer, it is even more effective than sleeping pill in my experience. i have been taking it for 2 years and, touch wood, it always works.

i take the pharmaceutical grade. "Thorne" brand- 3mg.

i told myself that however i taper, i want this to be my last taper. so i better take it slow and heal as i go down.

i have been very fortunate to be able to work and take care of my family while in withdrawal. i think this is my guidelines in determining my tapering speed.

but sleeping better really help. it cut down the anxiety and obsessive mind my half.

 

[Carmie]

On 6/29/2018 at 5:41 PM, xyz said:

Carmie,

Melatonin is a life safer, it is even more effective than sleeping pill in my experience. i have been taking it for 2 years and, touch wood, it always works.

i take the pharmaceutical grade. "Thorne" brand- 3mg.

i told myself that however i taper, i want this to be my last taper. so i better take it slow and heal as i go down.

i have been very fortunate to be able to work and take care of my family while in withdrawal. i think this is my guidelines in determining my tapering speed.

but sleeping better really help. it cut down the anxiety and obsessive mind my half.

 

 

Hi xyz, 

 

Glad to hear melatonin is helping you with your sleep. 

 

Good idea to taper slow and heal along the way. Going by a calendar really doesn’t make sense, does it? Sometimes it’s important to have longer holds too if you’ve got lots of things on. 

 

Wishing you all all the best with your tapering💚

[xyz]

On 7/1/2018 at 3:01 AM, Carmie said:

 

Hi xyz, 

 

Glad to hear melatonin is helping you with your sleep. 

 

Good idea to taper slow and heal along the way. Going by a calendar really doesn’t make sense, does it? Sometimes it’s important to have longer holds too if you’ve got lots of things on. 

 

Wishing you all all the best with your tapering💚

 

thanks Carmie!\i hope your brain fog is lifting slowly, enjoy you rsummer before tapering again!

 

i have been doing really good. it seems that after teh terrible panic attack and depression (Ct like), some symptoms went away, but i am sure they will coem back again.

my sleep lately has been between 7 to 8 hours- and this with 2 coffees and some teas during the day.

depression  and morning anxiety are gone - i am dreading my periods though.

still chipping away both benzo and AD.

[Carmie]

4 minutes ago, xyz said:

 

thanks Carmie!\i hope your brain fog is lifting slowly, enjoy you rsummer before tapering again!

 

i have been doing really good. it seems that after teh terrible panic attack and depression (Ct like), some symptoms went away, but i am sure they will coem back again.

my sleep lately has been between 7 to 8 hours- and this with 2 coffees and some teas during the day.

depression  and morning anxiety are gone - i am dreading my periods though.

still chipping away both benzo and AD.

 

Hi xyz, 

 

Brain fog is still severe, but I’m able to read a little tonight. The brain fog isn’t from withdrawals, it’s from CFS. That’s great you’re doing so well, it really warms my heart. 

 

I’ve been doing lots of fun things lately while in a window. I’m struggling to think because of brain fog but I’ve spent a lot of time in nature. It’s been amazing, I’ve been to a cave, a waterfall, a really beautiful creek, a tropical rainforest and the list goes on. Nature is soooo amazing. 

 

Sending you big hugs🤗

[xyz]

hi,

i haven't logged into my AD thread in a while because i was doing pretty well, cutting the lex with consistency and the valium as well.

i got into a difficult patch and i swear my temper went out of the roof as well as my sleep.

so i am back to holding for a while. i had a terrible headache, and sweat... it  has been a week now, my sleep has gotten a lot better. i went from 5.5 to 10 hours.

jeez, first time in 2.5 years that i slept 10 hours! hallelujah!

 

i am not sure that i can micro taper both from now on. it is getting really hard. with my schedule and responsibility at home and at work.

we had a 50 hours/week mandatory at work, my husband was out of eth country so i had our 2 small kids to take care of...

it was crazy...

anyhoo... so i will try reducing the lex down to 0.8mg and then switch from tapering the valium and the lex 0.1mg at a time.

 

there is always this fear of feeling terrible because i am taking less of the meds.

yoh, it is hard to think outside of our brain while in withdrawal!

 

 

 

[Ather]

On 3/24/2018 at 2:03 PM, xyz said:

the exercise is what made it all possible.

 

 

I agree 100%  If one is able then exercise / walk is the best option, however if one is not able then Supplements can also do wonders.

[Ather]

30 minutes ago, xyz said:

hi,

i haven't logged into my AD thread in a while because i was doing pretty well, cutting the lex with consistency and the valium as well.

i got into a difficult patch and i swear my temper went out of the roof as well as my sleep.

so i am back to holding for a while. i had a terrible headache, and sweat... it  has been a week now, my sleep has gotten a lot better. i went from 5.5 to 10 hours.

 

jeez, first time in 2.5 years that i slept 10 hours! hallelujah!

 

i am not sure that i can micro taper both from now on. it is getting really hard. with my schedule and responsibility at home and at work.

we had a 50 hours/week mandatory at work, my husband was out of eth country so i had our 2 small kids to take care of...

it was crazy...

anyhoo... so i will try reducing the lex down to 0.8mg and then switch from tapering the valium and the lex 0.1mg at a time.

 

there is always this fear of feeling terrible because i am taking less of the meds.

yoh, it is hard to think outside of our brain while in withdrawal!

 

 

 

Long sleep make me feel down and depressed how do you feel when you wake up after a long sleep?

 

And believe me at such micro tapers it is all psychological !

[xyz]

nahh... sleeping this much feels wonderful! i have been sleep deprived for 2 freaking years.

 

not sure about the psychological effect, LOL. i wish you were right, dear.

having seizure life, not being able to walk, having heart palp, feeling jumpy around noises, sleeping 5.5 hours at night, cortisol surge at 4am and tralala. doesn't sound psychological to me.

 

now, being this sensitive to meds reduction might indicate that my CNS is destabilized enough to require a long hold. like my hubby would say "hon, what is the rush to get off the meds?"

 a "normal person" (who wouldn't be posting in this forum anyway) should have an easier time... but... we all know, there is no normal in withdrawal, at least for folks who finds their way on SA

 

yo, exercise is great- i still run my 3 miles everyday and take a huge amount of supplements

 

[Ather]

I am glad you are doing your exercise regularly, I can't say anything about taking coffee and tea with seizures, anyway I wish you good luck and good health, stay active !

[Godiswithme]

Hi XYZ, I noticed you posted on my thread a few months ago. I must have missed it. 

I was wondering how you are doing in the irrational fear department? 

Also, running 3 miles per day. WOW! Go you!! 

I noticed you said you gained weight on the Lexapro. I have too. Were you as active as this when you gained? Have you lost any? 

I gained 20 on it. C/T’d. Lost 30 in 6 weeks off of it.  Reinstated over 5 months. Gained 20 back. 

Wondering if dieting helped you?

coffee helps me too, but I can’t drink it every day. I so wish I could. 

[Carmie]

Hi xyz, 

 

Hope all continues to go well with your tapering in the future. Yep, sometimes we have to hold longer. All we can do is take a day at a time and make decisions as we go along. 

 

Take care💚

[xyz]

all right, i am down to 1.2mg of lexapro and boy the fatigue is hitting me hard, granted i have up my running mileage but i don't think this could be the cause.

i feel completely washed out and blah, even 4 cup of expresso a day don't give me the boost anymore.

has anyone experienced intense fatigue with lexapro withdrawal?

[bubble]

Fatigue has been my most pronounced symptom while tapering Lexapro. When I first started reducing it I would be completely wiped out for 2 days. Had to stay in bed and it was a flu-like fatigue.

 

My WD is lot more dramatic given my history but just wanted to give you some confirmation that it really happens. Used to discuss it a lot with Blondie who also suffered with fatigue while tapering Lexapro... 

 

There doesn't seem to be a way round. Our brains crave rest so we should do our best to accommodate (as disruptive as that is to our functioning). Cutting down on running might help too...

 

I'm also tapering Lexapro and a benzo so grateful for some company along the way.

 

I like what your husband said: no rush. And add: God give us patience but do it quickly

[xyz]

6 hours ago, bubble said:

Fatigue has been my most pronounced symptom while tapering Lexapro. When I first started reducing it I would be completely wiped out for 2 days. Had to stay in bed and it was a flu-like fatigue.

 

My WD is lot more dramatic given my history but just wanted to give you some confirmation that it really happens. Used to discuss it a lot with Blondie who also suffered with fatigue while tapering Lexapro... 

 

There doesn't seem to be a way round. Our brains crave rest so we should do our best to accommodate (as disruptive as that is to our functioning). Cutting down on running might help too...

 

I'm also tapering Lexapro and a benzo so grateful for some company along the way.

 

I like what your husband said: no rush. And add: God give us patience but do it quickly

 

hi bubble,

thank you for posting in my thread.

i haven't posted much lately because my taper has been going very well with the lexapro, the valium is a totally different ball game.

but that fatigue feels really weird, it is not bad, since i was used to feeling wired 24/7 for the last couple of years.

i know a guy in a different forum who got off lexapro faster, he PMed me and asked me if he could jump from 2.5mg and i said "No!" and he continued to cut it for a bit and is already off it.

i am just freaking jealous, i want to be done with the lex taper and start the valium taper again. my memory is getting worse and worse. and i know it is because of the valium. i would read a number and 5 second later, couldn't remember it.

and man, i want to lose that extra weight, i gained 15lbs on lex, it makes the running harder.

my husband is Mr patience, if i had his patience, nothing would get done in the house, lol

 

how are you doing with your taper?

 

[xyz]

On 9/25/2018 at 7:26 PM, Godiswithme said:

Hi XYZ, I noticed you posted on my thread a few months ago. I must have missed it. 

I was wondering how you are doing in the irrational fear department? 

Also, running 3 miles per day. WOW! Go you!! 

I noticed you said you gained weight on the Lexapro. I have too. Were you as active as this when you gained? Have you lost any? 

I gained 20 on it. C/T’d. Lost 30 in 6 weeks off of it.  Reinstated over 5 months. Gained 20 back. 

Wondering if dieting helped you?

coffee helps me too, but I can’t drink it every day. I so wish I could. 

 

hi sorry GWM, i didn't realize you posted on my thread, i don;t go on my thread very often. i tend to stay on the benzo side of the forum since i had more trouble with the valium taper than with the lex so far.

yes i gained a bit of weight., 15lbs,  i lost maybe 2lbs, lol even with all the running. i don't diet. too much to do with 2 small kids and a full time job.  i just want to lose the weight so that it easier when i run. pounding another 13% of my body weight is not great for my knees.

i have some friend on AD and are on Weight watcher and lost a ton of weight, like 25lbs. you should try it if you are desperate. for me, it is too much planning....

[xyz]

this is an update. down to 0.7mg of lex and valium.

the depression and anger is slowly creeping in.

this morning, after sleeping 8 hours, didn't want to get up. very unlike me. i am more of a go getter, specially when cortisol surge is involved.

it might take me 4 months to get off the last 0.7mg of lex.

21 months of taper for 12 months on 10mg of lex... one year to get off the last 2.7mg... pfaw...

 

[Carmie]

1 hour ago, xyz said:

this is an update. down to 0.7mg of lex and valium.

the depression and anger is slowly creeping in.

this morning, after sleeping 8 hours, didn't want to get up. very unlike me. i am more of a go getter, specially when cortisol surge is involved.

it might take me 4 months to get off the last 0.7mg of lex.

21 months of taper for 12 months on 10mg of lex... one year to get off the last 2.7mg... pfaw...

 

 

Hi xyz, 

 

I’m so sorry you’re feeling so depressed n angry. You’ve done really well though to get down to those low doses. 

 

I think I’ll be doing the brassmonkey slide next n that will probably take another ten years or so. I will tweak it here n there though so we’ll see what happens. I’m just taking a day at a time. I’ve got to keep the akathisia at bay.

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

[jozeff]

Hi XYZ!

 

Seems like you are doing a great job!

 

I'm in the same boat. Have been taking citalopram for 2 years and have been tapering for 6 months now and only managed to take a few mg of my dose.

 

Take it slowly, no time to hurry now!

 

I wish you all the best with your last mg's. Take your time, you'll thank yourself for that.

 

Cheers

 

Jozeff

 

 

 

[xyz]

hi, i had a wave of crushing fatigue. wow... so bad that moving my body would take a huge amount of effort.

after 3 expressos yesterday that did nothing, i waited until my feel good time (3pm on the dot for me) and it went away. for a bit.

so i know this is def withdrawal. sleep has been more profound, 6.5 hours has been my minimum lately. i even scored 8.5 one night.

 

i don't know how to explain this, but i feel more settled. i don't experience to be on the go all the time which gives me more time to be in touch with my feeling.

i decided to stretch my lexapro taper so that it will end at the end of the winter over here. another 5 months. i will drop 0.15mg per month.

still micro tapering the valium as well. this one will take another 10 months at 0.08mg per month.

[xyz]

jeez, that anger really sucks.

last night i threw some furniture in a fit of rage and felt so angry that i wished god would take me in my sleep. i woke up with the same anger. this has been going on for a couple of days.

i know this is neuro emotions but WTF.

and that winter... we had a snow storm yesterday and i couldn't leave my house. no running either. the crushing fatigue prevents me from moving fast. so all the energy i have in me is bottled up.

i want to take my car and drive away and never stops.

 

i have never experienced anger of that scale.

i wonder if it is worth getting off these meds. if i am diagnosed tomorrow with a terminal illness, all i will remember is being a pissed off woman.

i am also PMSing...

[JackieDecides]

6 hours ago, xyz said:

we had a snow storm yesterday and i couldn't leave my house. no running either.

 

you have to work out inside, then. I am not currently doing this but I need to. what-all have you tried?  the anger you describe sounds so scary and exhausting. 

[xyz]

2 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

 

you have to work out inside, then. I am not currently doing this but I need to. what-all have you tried?  the anger you describe sounds so scary and exhausting. 

thanks jackie,

i took my car and went to the indoor track and ran my heart out.

first day at work after 5 days inside with the kids. i needed that.

pms are pretty bad, emotionally. yeah, so tired of being angry.

 

did you have anger issue when you got off lexapro?

[JackieDecides]

not like you have been having, but yes anger - like all my emotions - was much stronger and ...more intense in some way I can't describe. like in the wizard of oz, going from B&W to color? or like suddenly in 3D? 

 

my landlady said I "went crazy" on her because I sent a very angry e-mail and from this distance I really can't tell, objectively, what I was like. I know I felt anger and I expressed anger and that wasn't usual for me. I certainly felt justified (and still do, she is just wrong!) but it's all so subjective.

 

I had a bad time - and still do, just not as bad - with letting stuff go. something (and often it's something I'm angry about) gets stuck in my head and just repeats like a skip on a record. if you are old enough to remember that? 😉

 

 

 

 

[xyz]

On 11/27/2018 at 6:45 PM, JackieDecides said:

not like you have been having, but yes anger - like all my emotions - was much stronger and ...more intense in some way I can't describe. like in the wizard of oz, going from B&W to color? or like suddenly in 3D? 

 

my landlady said I "went crazy" on her because I sent a very angry e-mail and from this distance I really can't tell, objectively, what I was like. I know I felt anger and I expressed anger and that wasn't usual for me. I certainly felt justified (and still do, she is just wrong!) but it's all so subjective.

 

I had a bad time - and still do, just not as bad - with letting stuff go. something (and often it's something I'm angry about) gets stuck in my head and just repeats like a skip on a record. if you are old enough to remember that? 😉

 

 

 

 

 

hi Jackie, sorry i miss your reply. when you don't hit quote, i don't think about checking my thread again. well, don't like to read myself too much.

that is a great description, going from B&W to 3d and not being able to let go of stuff.

 

with a higher dose i lex i was able to easily distract myself. now i just ruminate.

i have been feeling a lot of blah, don't feel engaged very much and no excitement whatsoever

sleep has been good, 7 to 8 hours of deep sleep. but the lack of motivation is hard to overcome. 

for the longest time i was not able to yawn, now i do it a lot.

still running around like a chicken to get stuff done but my heart is not in them

and people annoy the heck out of me...

[JackieDecides]

59 minutes ago, xyz said:

now i just ruminate.

i have been feeling a lot of blah, don't feel engaged very much and no excitement whatsoever

sleep has been good, 7 to 8 hours of deep sleep. but the lack of motivation is hard to overcome. 

for the longest time i was not able to yawn, now i do it a lot.

still running around like a chicken to get stuff done but my heart is not in them

and people annoy the heck out of me...

 

I hope you get a notification if I just quote part of your post?

 

rumination and being irritable (course, people ARE annoying!)  is something I really struggle with. 

 

it's very good you can sleep, but sorry to hear you feel no excitement. someday things will be better, just don't know when.

 

do you feel you have waves and windows? 

[xyz]

hey Jackie,

thank you for asking questions and allow me to write.

i feel the wave and window throughout the day and after 3 days of my reduction- i would say my worst time are in the morning and from 3 to 6 days after my cut.

the good part is that the windows feel great after a wave. i usually have bad insomnia for 3 days then my sleep resolve. same with fear and feeling vulnerable. when in window, i feel that i can face anything.

i can't believe how incredibly strong these meds are.

i have a tendency to be anxious about the future but when i was on lex, i couldn't think past the day. now that anxiety all came back. not as strong as before since i have developed some coping skills.

it just floors me to see this in plain sight.

 

i have 2 children. my daughter who is 8 and who was born pre-matured is of nature to be fearful, cautious and very organized. very good student. ace in school. but is sick often.

my adopted son who is physically strong, 3.5 years old, is fearless, full of energy. i am thinking that the health of our nervous system determine our behavior and character.

i hope that my daughter will never touch a spych med, she is so sensitive. i am trying to raise them in a drama free environment and we are implementing physical exercise that we hope they will be able to keep up as they grow older.

but of course, there is always what life will throw at them.

 

thanks again for the questions jackie.

how are you doing?

[JackieDecides]

5 hours ago, xyz said:

i have a tendency to be anxious about the future but when i was on lex, i couldn't think past the day. now that anxiety all came back. not as strong as before since i have developed some coping skills.

it just floors me to see this in plain sight.

 

I think mostly from depression but maybe also from lexapro I was also unable to think past...maybe more than the day but not long term. I spent years and then decades not being able to see, let alone plan for, the future. so here I am:  57, broke (in debt, too) and alone.

 

when I was in acute withdrawal last summer I had a very difficult time thinking and especially writing. it's still hard, just not nearly as bad. but the writing skill you show in your posts is amazing! does it come easily or do you have to work at it?

 

I hope knowing that windows will come helps you when you are in a wave. you seem to be very self-aware. and you have children! I am always astonished at anyone who can take care of a family in this life. 

 

so glad you are teaching your children to do physical exercise  - a strong mind in a strong body - we've known that for a thousand years and yet so many today are sedentary. and also they see you learning coping skills and they learn that, too. 

 

yes, it's frightening how strong the pills are - my last dose of lex was 5 mg every other day and it really seemed like just stopping would not be a problem. I didn't have a doctor at the time, but the one I have currently would have told me it was a "baby dose" and stopping would have been no problem. no, she would have said I need to be on something else if lex wasn't working. she believes everything the drug makers tell her! 

 

 

Edited December 6, 2018 by JackieDecides

[xyz]

19 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

 

I think mostly from depression but maybe also from lexapro I was also unable to think past...maybe more than the day but not long term. I spent years and then decades not being able to see, let alone plan for, the future. so here I am:  57, broke (in debt, too) and alone.

 

when I was in acute withdrawal last summer I had a very difficult time thinking and especially writing. it's still hard, just not nearly as bad. but the writing skill you show in your posts is amazing! does it come easily or do you have to work at it?

 

 

jackie, are you doing better now? what are your waves like? what symptoms do you have left?

 

thank you for the compliments. not sure if being that self aware is a good thing you know. i wish i could be a happy dude who like to watch TV all day long and have his beer once a week.

i did a mindfulness based therapy when i was in acute a couple of years ago and learned to track back my reaction. like i would have a wave of anxiety and then tell myself "okay- wait a minute where did that come from, what was the thought that caused it? is it a thought about the future, or the past? what am i doing right now, let's distract"

the chemical anxiety is another ball game, but i still use the distraction as a strategy.

 

i still don't know how parents do it. raising emotionally healthy children is a challenge.

i feel overwhelmed when i see all the children who have to suffer from war and poverty. i think the worst are the unnecessary adult's abuse who are supposed to protect them from all these.

they will turn into damaged individuals and suffer emotionally for the rest of their life and perpetuate the same things... 

all right, i better distract now. can't handle the world's oldest problem while in withdrawal.