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IrishMonkey92: Rocking/swaying internal pendulum sensation - tinnitus, eye floaters and pins and needles


IrishMonkey92

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On 2/26/2018 at 6:39 AM, mirage said:

I'm so sorry the dizziness has lasted so long. I am praying mine won't and I will pray for yours to go away as well. I did see a vestibular specialist and I did go to physical therapy for it. I have daily exercises I do. I'm not sure they are working but I am giving it a try. From what I understand, with me, is the vestibular system  is part of our nervous system and it can be injured and it can be strengthened. 

 

So your symptoms didn't start until 5 months after you stopped the med? What other symptoms did you have and how long did they take to go away?

I’ve submitted an individual account of my struggle to a public petition to the Scottish Parliament recently. It describes my story, I’ll copy and paste:

 

I was prescribed Citalopram (an SSRI) for 'mild depression' in 2013, after I messed up my first year in University. Who wouldn't be in a bit of a downer after that? Regardless of context, I was labelled with 'depression' when I was compared against a questionnaire conducted by the GP. I often question after this assessment and the labelled attached to me of ‘mental illness’, at what point is it not normal or not simply being human to express emotion at negative life experiences? Is happiness the only acceptable emotion we should hold in ourselves, regardless of circumstances? If I had arrived in and told them my close family relative had died and I was feeling down about it for quite some time, I can guarantee I’d be told I had a mental illness.

 

This prescription given to me, it was the first port of call, and no counselling was offered. I had several minor reactions to starting the drug - most prominent of those was being unable to get to sleep for 2 weeks. I use to walk the streets of my town in the middle of the night just so I had something to do and to reduce my frustration. Other side effects included a stiff neck, stiff jaw, teeth chattering and inner shaking. I was reassured from my GP that these side effects would take 6 weeks to settle and it would be until then that I would see the full benefits of the drug. I remained on Citalopram for 2 years, within a month of being initially prescribed the drug a doubling of the dose was made by the GP and I remained on that dose, until one day I questioned "Why the hell am I taking this?". It served no purpose. I had no follow up or monitoring from my GP who prescribed it. It was as if they prescribed it to me indefinitely. I merely felt a former shell of myself; emotionally numb for 2 years, with no highs and no lows. What sort of life is that? Unable to feel human emotion – a chemical lobotomy. Upon inspection of what surgical lobotomy consists of, I’m horrified to read a mirrored image of what I had experienced for 2 years – marked reduction in initiative and inhibition, difficulty putting themselves in the position of others due to decreased cognition and detachment from society. Often I felt moments of confusion, and I felt brain dead, I just couldn’t put my finger on words or thoughts as I was once able to. Words just didn’t flow anymore. Further to this comparison of surgical lobotomy, I too developed an enormous appetite and gained considerable weight – 3 stone to be precise. My mental block and severe decline in cognitive ability woke me to the realisation that this was not natural. I was first prescribed this drug at the age of 21, I was mentally sharp and excelled in my studies. At the age of 23, I was struggling to comprehend even the simplest of concepts in my Computer Science degree and this idea filled me with dread that I may have to drop out. I worked extremely hard for my entire life in gaining that privileged position at my university of choice and I was determined to graduate. I came to the realisation that this state of cognitive paralysis was entirely medication induced, the onset fitted appropriately with my prescription history and this subsequently pushed me to wean myself off this drug. I started to wean myself off over 4 weeks. This length of time was the 'slow taper' that many GP's advocate for. I started cutting my pill in half one week at a time until there was nothing left a month later. About 1 to 2 weeks after discontinuation, I was sitting watching TV when all of a sudden I got a horrendous sharp jolt into my head. Almost like a bolt of lightning, or as if a sharp pin needle flew through my head. I called it a sharp shooting pain, even though it wasn't exactly painful. However it was startling, so much so, it made me duck for cover on the floor of my living room. I called the doctor-on-call, they dismissed my concerns and told me it was anxiety. “Take some water and lay down” they said. Little did I know, this was the beginning of an antidepressant withdrawal syndrome which would ruin my life for the next 2.5 years.

 

I was normal the next day. Then as the days followed, these brain jolts or 'brain zaps' as they're called became frequent and happened about 50 times a day - although subtle. I also was experiencing visual disturbances - a small bright dot would zoom across my vision several times a day, almost like a shooting star with a trail behind it. I knew something was wrong. I contacted my optician to get my eyes checked. They confirmed all was perfect. I then tried to put it to the back of my mind. The symptoms came and went. I then started getting sharp shooting pains in my chest, along with isolated episodes where I felt like I was free-falling or floating momentarily. I visited my GP once again. They told me my heart rate was through the roof. I was ordered an ECG. All seemed fine, however my heart was still racing, for whatever reason. They placed this down to stress. Fatigue crept up on me, and I often felt like I wasn’t able to carry on my day. Strange reactions to substances – coffee and alcohol began out of the blue. I didn’t get the same buzz of coffee, it did nothing. Alcohol began to give me palpitations – I was very tolerant of alcohol all my life and this came as a shock. As an avid gym goer, I attended the gym 4 – 5 days a week. I loved the freshness after a gym session, the endorphins afterwards and the improvements in body composition. I was certainly dedicated to my fitness and often pushed myself to new levels in attempts to give my body a proper workout. However, my capacity to deal with exercise began to diminish. I began to feel very odd sensations in my head when weight lifting. The best way I could describe it is as if my head had tingled momentarily, or clicked inside – which immediately drained me of energy to continue. I just immediately felt odd. I felt the urge to go sit down and didn’t exactly feel ‘well’ when people questioned if I was okay. This sensation happened here and there, and sometimes in the kitchen whilst preparing food. I just didn’t feel right. This sensation would overcome my whole body. The head sensation would flow from the top throughout my body which lead to a queasy stomach, a mild fatigue, momentary dizziness and slight panic. I had to sit down. It passed after a few minutes.

 

For an entire month I suffered from this extremely irritable sensation in my legs at night - ’Restless Legs Syndrome’. I would haunt me for the next month. It felt like an internal jolt of irritability went down my legs and it made it absolutely impossible to sit still. I had to move them to ease the intense sensation. I had to stand and watch TV while I stomped my feet on the ground to bring some relief. It often kept me awake at night. I thought this was separate to all my other symptoms that I was experiencing progressively over months and much to my ignorance – this was part of a much bigger issue at large. All these random symptoms and isolated incidents were withdrawal symptoms building over the months following my discontinuation of Citalopram.

 

A total of 5 months after my discontinuation of Citalopram is when all hell broke loose. I woke to a sensation that I was free-falling. I took a very frightening reaction out of the blue - it almost felt like a seizure. It felt like I was shrinking, my eyes lids started fluttering uncontrollably, I had a great sense of impending doom and my heart was pounding out of my chest. I called the ambulance and they took me to A&E. I got checked out and my bloods were perfect. They had no idea why I had took such a reaction. They sent me home. Then my symptoms slowly got worse. I couldn't sleep, I had ‘hypnic jerks’ every time I tried to fall asleep – it made you feel like you were falling off a cliff every time you drifted off to sleep. My stomach was in bits and I couldn’t eat for several days. A terrible sensation began whereby I felt like I was rocking, swaying and bobbing as if I was on a boat. This is my most disturbing symptom and has plagued and haunted me for the past 2.5 years. After several trips to my GP, I have been diagnosed with an array of conditions – Labyrinthitis, Vestibular Neuronitis, Panic Disorder, Lyme Disease, Migraine etc. I have been provided with numerous medications to treat these over the period of two months to no avail. My main complaint was that my brain zaps (sharp jolts to my head) were getting more severe. These brain zaps were of a different nature and force to those felt in first month of withdrawal - they were short lived, subtle and resolved and I never experienced them again till now. I was experiencing at least 100 a day at this point for at least a month. My GP thought nothing of it, they just advised an upping of dosage or to switch to a different medication. This practice is almost like throwing anything at the wall to see if one sticks. I find this a truly disturbing and an extremely careless approach to medical care.

 

I tried to reinstate the medication, after one of many dismissive and unhelpful GP’s hinted that this may be connection to my discontinuation of Citalopram, but favoured it to be viewed as a ‘return of my original illness’. To make it clear, I have never suffered physical illness in my life, prior to Citalopram. I have never needed antibiotics and I have never even had the flu, only minor colds. This notion of a ‘return of my original illness’ didn’t sit well with me. This reinstatement of Citalopram at 8 months out made me 10 times worse and nearly rendered me physically disabled - I had seemingly developed hypersensitivity to the medication, something which conflicted with my previous ease of use. The reinstatement forced me to be admitted to hospital. They had to monitor me as I had lost the ability to walk. I felt like I was continually free-falling, as if there was no ground beneath me. My head rotated physically in a circular fashion with a heavy force in my head, and my eyes closed involuntarily for every rotation of my head. I was severely confused and felt unable to stay conscious. My body temperature was extremely high, yet I shivered with how bitterly cold I felt – I had rigors. My bowels routinely emptied every 2 hours with preemptive warnings of loud noises originating from my lower abdomen each time. I had to crawl to the bathroom, as I was unable to use my legs. I literally thought this was how I was going to die. It certainly felt like I was dying. All bodily functions were seemingly shutting down. The A&E doctor informed me they were going to test for Leukemia and Lymphoma. My results came back clear. They monitored my heart rate over the day and provided chest X-Rays, with no clear sign of reason behind my symptoms. I was later released as my vitals returned to normal. When these symptoms improved slightly over several days later I felt like I was walking on trampolines, where the whole ground would bounce or quake every time I step foot on the ground. It took 3 months for me to recover back to baseline after that one tablet. I avoided that GP due to their negligence towards my life. I attended another GP in my practice and voiced my concerns of my reaction and how I still felt unbearably sick – so much so that I was still clinging onto dear life. She reassured me trying a different antidepressant wouldn’t result in the same reaction. She believed that I had somehow developed a reaction only to Citalopram – I felt this to be very odd considering my continual ease of use of Citalopram for 2 years. She prescribed Sertraline 200mg. My heart sank when I heard the high dosage. I begged to have it reduced to a much smaller dose. I recommended 50mg. This was refused and I was told “this is the manufactures minimal therapeutic dose in order for it to have any affect”. I was heavily reluctant to take it, I initially refused but she insisted that I would never ‘get better’ if I didn’t resume antidepressant medication treatment. At this point I grew paranoid as to what my GP’s were leaving in the notes to each other - perhaps “severely mentally ill patient in need of psychiatric drug treatment to ease psychosomatic symptoms”. All I wanted was the symptoms to go away, so I felt trapped on what route I should take. I refrained from taking Sertraline for a week and I strongly resisted each time I attempted to take it. I would gag every time I tried to put it near my mouth. My body knew not to consume it, but I felt pressured into doing so. “Trust your doctor, they know best”, that’s all I could say to myself to build up my courage. Unfortunately later that day after I took the tablet, a similar reaction occurred, but to a lesser degree – nonetheless just as serious. I was admitted to hospital once again. This time they realised a trend in symptoms and after assessment of hyper reflexes and other criteria I was diagnosed with Serotonin Syndrome and was told to never take another SSRI again, regardless of what my GP says as it would be a danger to my life. After those two terrifying experiences, I can firmly say I’m scarred for life by the medical profession. 

 

Upon return to the GP who prescribed me Sertraline, I challenged her belief on why I was taking such a severe reaction and why I was suffering with these symptoms. She mentioned that antidepressant withdrawal lasts no more than 6 weeks and it “would be well out of your system by now. It’s impossible”. Do I trust any GP’s advice now? No. The saying goes – “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”.  I felt endangered and a fear of the medical profession ensued. I’ve also developed a phobia of any prescriptive medication due to the harm it has caused me. I’ve lost my trust in doctors and this is a very serious position to be in, as I may depend on their advice at some point in the future. This is a direct result of medical ignorance of antidepressant withdrawal and subsequent dangers surrounding being in withdrawal that require carefully considered recommendations, such as avoiding reinstatement at such a late stage in withdrawal due to a severe risk of adverse reaction and intensifying withdrawal. Doctors desperately need education in this realm of medicine. It can cost lives. It could have all been avoided.

 

I'm now crippled with a list of symptoms which I've suffered with for 2.5 years including but not limited to; Tinnitus, severe eye floaters, a rocking/swaying sensation like I'm on a boat, pulsating vision, ‘glitchy’ vision (outlines of objects distort), a feeling that I'm being pushed and pulled by the blood pumping through my veins. Visual disturbances like static, snow and sometimes a bright dot zooms across my vision leaving a trail behind. Visual hallucinations like grass, carpet and patterns undulating, moving, morphing or oscillating. I have a burning/prickling sensation in my hands after I eat certain foods. Chronic muscle twitches. Paresthesia occurs in simple body positions and often can lead to total numbness of a limb or body part. I suffer from memory loss, cognitive decline, inability to concentrate and I regularly lose my train of thought when speaking. I often forget what I’ve just been told a few minutes ago. I must reiterate, I’m only 25. I have adverse reactions to caffeine, alcohol, most OTC medications (even paracetamol and supplements), foods, stress and exercise. All of them heighten my symptoms. Prior to discontinuation I use to drink 2 coffees a day, and was an avid gym-goer - often running on a treadmill 4-5 days a week. Now I can't even jog slightly without increasing my symptoms. Any attempt to lift weights or run results in severe imbalance and visual disturbance - it feels like I’ve an invisible force field right up close to my eyes, causing and odd combination of physical force and visual disturbance. It almost feels like I’m drunk post-exertion. I'm a shell of my former self. I'm in antidepressant withdrawal and not one GP will acknowledge or take ownership for it.

 

I’ve struggled to leave the house. I have been so crippled with debilitating symptoms for such a long time. I consider myself privileged to have secured employment, after a year into my withdrawal I was just about able to function and cope. The financial burden of not being able to work (and denied benefit) has nearly cost me my opportunity to get a foot onto the property ladder which I had long made plans for but unexpected health issues almost made that plan a very near distant thought. I take each day by day in the workplace. It certainly is a challenge as not one person can see that I’m struggling with a chronic illness. I look fine at face value, but inside I’m dealing with unimaginable symptoms. I guarantee it would test the most stable of people. It truly is a miracle that I haven’t been fired yet.”

 

 

Edited by ChessieCat
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Oh my goodness, I am so very sorry. Your story sounds pretty similar to mine! I agree totally with the fact that we have ups and downs. Good days, bad days and that is totally normal. I wish my obgyn would have told me that. I had just lost my mom and, of course I was sad. The suggestion of the med, was so casual  She told me it had very few side effects and was very safe. I only stayed on it because it was part of my routine, I guess.

 

I was having some odd nausea and slight dizziness, off and on, during 2016. All checked out fine every time I went to the dr for it. One day it had occurred to me, that perhaps it was the Wellbutrin. I made the decision to stop taking it and to see how I did. That said, I assumed it would be just as easy to go off of it as it was when I went on it. I had zero symptoms when I started taking it and no complications with taking it during those 8 years. I was never told to wean and never warned about any side effects from discontinuation. 

 

I, too, was very into working out and a runner. I ran 15 to 20 miles a week and lifted weights 3 days as well. I was able to keep myself in top condition. I never suffered any illness prior to this. I am 53, so much older. My heart aches for you. 

 

I can no longer drink coffee or alcohol. Not that I over indulged in either but I never had problems. In fact, I could drink a cup of coffee at night and not even have sleep issues.

 

 I just saw a new dr who told me that the body has to get back to homeostasis and that, right now while it is so over sensitive, everything will continue to throw it off. I am taking as little a I can. Fish oil, magnesium, vit D, a B multi, vit C, Wellbutrin 150xl and 3.5mg of remeron.  

 

During the months of June 2017 through November 2017, I had very low white cell and lymphocyte counts. Along with that, hypothyroidism and high cortisol. My immune and endocrine systems were completely compromised by this. In November, I finally got a more normal blood panel. Still high cortisol but from what I'm understanding, that can hang around for a long time. 

 

WE HAVE TO BELIEVE WE WILL BE WELL AGAIN! There are reasons things happen. One can't question why. It is too hard to find that answer. But, you can't look back. Only forward. I think that as fast as we fell apart, perhaps the brain and nervous system can just as quickly, one day, come back to normal.

 

 

 

Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017

Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017

Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017

Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018

Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018

Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018

Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018

Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone,

Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone 

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12 minutes ago, mirage said:

Oh my goodness, I am so very sorry. Your story sounds pretty similar to mine! I agree totally with the fact that we have ups and downs. Good days, bad days and that is totally normal. I wish my obgyn would have told me that. I had just lost my mom and, of course I was sad. The suggestion of the med, was so casual  She told me it had very few side effects and was very safe. I only stayed on it because it was part of my routine, I guess.

 

I was having some odd nausea and slight dizziness, off and on, during 2016. All checked out fine every time I went to the dr for it. One day it had occurred to me, that perhaps it was the Wellbutrin. I made the decision to stop taking it and to see how I did. That said, I assumed it would be just as easy to go off of it as it was when I went on it. I had zero symptoms when I started taking it and no complications with taking it during those 8 years. I was never told to wean and never warned about any side effects from discontinuation. 

 

I, too, was very into working out and a runner. I ran 15 to 20 miles a week and lifted weights 3 days as well. I was able to keep myself in top condition. I never suffered any illness prior to this. I am 53, so much older. My heart aches for you. 

 

I can no longer drink coffee or alcohol. Not that I over indulged in either but I never had problems. In fact, I could drink a cup of coffee at night and not even have sleep issues.

 

 I just saw a new dr who told me that the body has to get back to homeostasis and that, right now while it is so over sensitive, everything will continue to throw it off. I am taking as little a I can. Fish oil, magnesium, vit D, a B multi, vit C, Wellbutrin 150xl and 3.5mg of remeron.  

 

During the months of June 2017 through November 2017, I had very low white cell and lymphocyte counts. Along with that, hypothyroidism and high cortisol. My immune and endocrine systems were completely compromised by this. In November, I finally got a more normal blood panel. Still high cortisol but from what I'm understanding, that can hang around for a long time. 

 

WE HAVE TO BELIEVE WE WILL BE WELL AGAIN! There are reasons things happen. One can't question why. It is too hard to find that answer. But, you can't look back. Only forward. I think that as fast as we fell apart, perhaps the brain and nervous system can just as quickly, one day, come back to normal.

 

 

 

I’ve lost a lot of hope. My life is on hold and I fear my youth has been robbed of me due to this. I’m coming 26 soon. Nearly 3 years this has been going on. 

 

Ive heard so many bad stories, it’s hard to remain optimistic about recovery :(

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Just now, IrishMonkey92 said:

I’ve lost a lot of hope. My life is on hold and I fear my youth has been robbed of me due to this. I’m coming 26 soon. Nearly 3 years this has been going on. 

 

Ive heard so many bad stories, it’s hard to remain optimistic about recovery :(

It is one day at a time. From all I have researched, the body has an amazing way of recovering. This illness is very, VERY slow. I have a son exactly your age and I would not let him give up. I am here to cheer you on. Perhaps that is why we connected? 

 

I have been battling for a short time compared to you, 8 months. There are days when I cry and days when I am as strong as a mountain. I plug through each day. Trying not to complain and trying to pretend I feel...okay. I have not yet, had even a partial day of good. It has to come. The mind is a strong and powerful tool. Try and keep your thoughts as positive as you can. 

Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017

Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017

Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017

Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018

Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018

Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018

Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018

Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone,

Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone 

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  • 3 months later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi IrishMonkey, I've just moved some of your posts and replies to your introduction topic from the head noise topic as they are about your particular situation.

2001–2002 paroxetine

2003  citalopram

2004-2008  paroxetine (various failed tapers) 
2008  paroxetine slow taper down to

2016  Aug off paroxetine
2016  citalopram May 20mg  Oct 15mg … slow taper down
2018  citalopram 13 Feb 4.6mg 15 Mar 4.4mg 29 Apr 4.2mg 6 Jul 4.1mg 17 Aug 4.0mg  18 Nov 3.8mg
2019  15 Mar 3.6mg  21 May 3.4mg  26 Dec 3.2mg 

2020  19 Feb 3.0mg 19 Jul 2.9mg 16 Sep 2.8mg 25 Oct 2.7mg 23 Oct 2.6mg 24 Dec 2.5mg

2021   29 Aug 2.4mg   15 Nov 2.3mg

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  • 2 months later...

Hello,

does anybody believe you have a balance disorder which symptoms are invisible for other people and that this is a result of psychiatric drug use/withdrawal?

05/06/2015-05/21/2015 Zoloft C/T, 05/2015-08/2015 Clonazepam 2x0.5mg (reduced to 0 during one month), 05/2015-08/2015 Trazodone 150mg (last month 100mg, reduced to 0 during 7 days), 09/2015-07/2016 Clonazepam reinstated after one month off to 2x0.25mg (benzo free since July 28, 2016), 09/2016 Escitalopram 5mg (10 days), 10/2015-04/2016 Venlafaxine 150mg (3 months) 75mg (3 months) C/T, 01/2016-04/2016 Olanzapine 2.5mg C/T, 04/2016-05/2016 Lamictal 100mg (5 weeks, reduced to 0 during 7 days)), 08/02/2016-08/16/2016 Valdoxan 25mg C/T,

08/23/2016-09/21/2016 Venlafaxine 75 mg (reduced to 0 during 7 days),

07/27/2016-10/10/2016 Buspirone 3x5mg (Oct. 1-3; 5mg-2.5mg-2.5mg,)(Oct.4-5; 2.5mg-2.5mg-2.5mg)(Oct. 6-8; 2.5mg-2.5mg-0)(Oct. 9; 2.5mg-0-0),

10/25/2016 - reinstated Buspirone 3x5mg (Dec.13-19; 5mg-2.5mg-5mg) (Dec.19-Jan.1; 5mg, 2.5mg, 2.5mg) (Jan.2-11; 2.5mg, 2.5mg, 2.5mg) (Jan.2-19;1.67mg, 1.67mg, 1.67mg) (Jan.20-27; 0.83mg, 0.83mg, 0.83mg) (Jan.28-Feb.05; 1mg, 1mg)(Feb.6-0mg)

08/10/2016 - Mirtazapine 30mg (01/26/2017-02/19/2017, 27mg) (02/20/2017-03/05/2017, 25.5mg) (03/06/2017-03/12/2017, 24mg) (03/12/2017-03/19/2017, 23mg) (03/20/2017-04/02/2017, 22mg) (04/03/2017-04/16/2017, 21mg) (04/17/2017-05/12/2017, 20mg) (05/13/2017-05/22/2017, 19mg) (05/23/2017-06/09/2017, 18mg) (06/10/2017-06/16/2017, 17.5mg) (06/17/2017-06/23/2017, 17mg) (06/24/2017-06/30/2017, 16.5mg) (07/01/2017-07/14/2017, 16mg) (07/15/2017-07/23/2017, 15.5mg) (07/24/2017-08/31/2017, 15mg) (09/01/2017-09/10/2017, 14.5mg) (09/11/2017-09/30/2017, 14mg) (10/01/2017-10/26/2017, 13.5mg) (10/27/2017-11/04/2017, 13mg) (11/05/2017-11/18/2017, 12.5mg) (11/19/2017-12/08/2017, 12mg) (12/09/2017-12/15/2017, 11.75mg) (12/16/2017-12/28/2017, 11.5mg) (12/29/2017-01/11/2018, 11mg) (01/12/2018-01/25/2018, 10.5mg) (01/26/2018-02/08/2018, 10mg) (02/09/2018-02/22/2018, 9.5mg) (02/23/2018-03/08/2018, 9mg) (03/09/2018-03/22/2018, 8.5mg) (03/23/2018-04/05/2018, 8mg) (04/06/2018-04/27/2018, 7.5mg) (04/28/2018-05/05/2018, 7.13mg) (05/06/2018-05/17/2018, 7mg) (05/18/201/-05/31/2018, 6.5mg) (06/01/2018-06/14/2018, 6.25mg) (06/15/2018-06/24/2018, 6mg) (06/25/2018-06/30/2018, 5.67mg) (06/31/2018-07/09/2018, 5.5mg) (07/10/2018-07/16/2018, 5.33mg) (07/17/2018-07/23/2018, 5.16mg) (07/24/2018-07/31/2018, 5mg) (08/01/2018-08/14/2018, 4.75mg) (08/15/2018-09/14/2018, 4.50mg) (09/15/2018-10/14/2018, 4.00mg) (10/15/2018-11/26/2018, 3.50mg) (11/27/2018-01/05/2019, 3.0mg) (01/06/2019-01/16/2019, 2.5mg) (01/17/2019-02/08/2019, 2.25mg) (02/09/2019-02/22/2019, 2.13 mg) (02/23/2019-03/07/2019, 2.00 mg) (03/08/2019-04/01/2019, 1.67 mg) (04/02/2019-04/13/2019, 1.5 mg) (04/14/2019-04/26/2019, 1.33 mg) (04/27/2019-05/10/2019, 1.16 mg) (05/11/2019-05/23/2019, 1.0 mg) (05/24/2019-06/02/2019, 0.88 mg) (06/03/2019-06/13/2019, 0.75 mg) (06/14/2019-06/23/2019, 0.63 mg) (06/24/2019-07/03/2019, 0.50 mg) (07/04/2019-07/08/2019, 0.00 mg) (07/09/2019, 0.50 mg) (07/10/2019, 0.00 mg)

Psych drugs free since 10th July 2019.

 

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1 minute ago, Aelius said:

Hello,

does anybody believe you have a balance disorder which symptoms are invisible for other people and that this is a result of psychiatric drug use/withdrawal?

Well I’m actually today going to get Vestibular testing. I was given an initial diagnosis of Vestibular Neuronitis, but ENT now believes it’s PPPD, which can still be caused by a Vestibular event, brought on by either stress/anxiety or an actual initial physical Vestibular issues in the inner ear. But it’s the after affects that last and defines it as PPPD. 

 

Ive no idea what mine is, but MdDS and PPPD seem to fit. Others think it’s anxiety because im obsessed and they observe my anxious behaviour. I just don’t know what to believe. I’ve this nearly 3 years now.... 

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  • 2 years later...

@IrishMonkey92

hello there 

did your floaty boat feeling get better eventually ? 

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • 9 months later...

@Longroadhome

I have that boatiness constantly. I’m 3 months off CT. I’ve had rocking and swaying for the last 8 weeks. 
 

The Epley maneuver helped. It’s supposed to be for BPPV but it made a difference instantly. Apparently I have a some level of BPPV.

 

Don’t overdo it tho. I did the maneuver once and it helped, one more time and help more, 3rd time fine. I could still feel a little balance problems. Did it a 4th time and it made it worse. A fifth time helped but I wish I woulda quit while I was ahead. I did the maneuvers 15 minutes apart 

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Hi there @Brucie

i still have this symptom constantly  snd it’s been a full year. 
my worst symptom. 
along with plenty of others !! 
let me know how it goes keep in touch 

what did you CT off? 

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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How is it now afterwards ?

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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@Longroadhome

CT Ashwagandha after 1.5 years

 

It’s my worst symptom right now too. Except for the extreme euphoria I get from eating. I have a very limited diet rn. It’s been 3 months so I’m early on still.

 

The maneuver makes a noticeable difference for a few hours. I also have tinnitus about 10 times a day for about 10 seconds


Has your balance gotten better over the last year??

 

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No my balance is no better it’s exactly the same as in the beginning . 
But I’m  still tapering and I have lots of other symptoms that have stayed the same too. I sometimes think tapering aggravates the situation. 
I’m getting much lower so hopefully there will be improvement st some stage 

Nov 2018 Pregabalin 2x50 mg a day to help with Paxil WD. Aug 2019 2 x 25mg a day, April 2020 45mg, May 40mg, June 35mg, July 30mg, end July 25mg, Aug 24mg, June 2021 14mg, Jan 2022 14mg (2x7mg a day), Oct 10mg, Nov 5mg, December 25th 2022 0mg 🎈

 

Oct 2004 - Oct 2018 Paxil 20 mg, Nov 15mg, Dec 10mg,  Feb 2019 7.5mg crashed, Feb 8.5mg, Nov 8mg, March 2020 7.2mg, April 6.5mg, May 5.9mg, June 5.4mg, July 4.8mg, Dec 4.5mg, Jan 2021 4mg, Feb 3.6mg, March 3.2mg, April 2.9mg, Aug 2.7mg, Sept 2.4mg, Oct 2.2mg, Nov 2mg, Dec 1.8mg, Feb 2022 1.6mg, March 1.4mg, April 1.2mg, May 1.0mg, June 0.8mg, July 0.6mg, Aug 0.4mg, Sep 0.2mg, October 6th 2022 0mg  🎈

 

December 25th 2022 drug free 

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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  • 3 months later...

@IrishMonkey92hi!

Can you tell me if you still have the rocking sensation that you had before?

I appreciate any update or assistance.

Thank you! 

Domperidone: 

Sept 28-Dec 14=30mgs a day; Dec 14-Jan 1 = 20mgs a day; Jan 1 - feb 16 = 10mgs a day; stopped(Jan started vertigo/rocking sensation and Feb started tachycardia)

April 19 - May 8 = 20mgs a day; May 9 - May 30 = 10mgs a day

stopped - severe withdrawal: anxiety; panic attacks; tremors; twitching; tachycardia; insomnia; blurry vision.  

Sept 17 - Oct 8th = 10mgs a day - no change in symptoms, didn't want to go back up more; Oct 9 - 17th = 5mg/day

December 12th = reinstated 25mg a day

==

celexa - June 10 - June 12th 2021

lexapro - July 22 - July 31st 2021

clonazepam - July 14 - September 30 - .5mg 3x/day; weaned and transferred to valium and then off.  

valium - intermittently used for sleep Sept 2020 - Feb 2021; used now during day PRN.

prozac - Sept 24 - January 7th - weaned from 10 mg to 5mg and then off

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  • 5 months later...
On 1/20/2017 at 12:38 PM, IrishMonkey92 said:

I was on Citalopram for 2 years - first year was 20mg, second year was 40mg. I basically cold turkey'd by going from 40mg to 0mg in 4 weeks in August 2015.

 

My withdrawals were somewhat delayed and unusual. Just one night I experienced a sharp shooting pain in my head (about a month after stopping) and that made me panic (never felt anything like this before). All was fine thereafter until at night time I started to experience this very strange restlessness in my leg, which one iterate from one leg to the other over a space of a month. Only at night. Then I was fine for a month until the shooting pains started to come back along with this bright white dot that would fly across my vision in a split second - went to the optician to get checked up and all was fine.

 

Then I never had a symptom up until a few months later (5 months off) after a heavy night of drinking alcohol, I woke up still drunk - no biggie, I've had that before from drinking too much - I sat down, had a cup of coffee along with a bun (my diet is usually strict, this is a one off) - I then had a sudden urge to go to the toilet, then I found blood... I then had an immediate panic attack along with a dropping sensation whilst on the toilet. The panic just got worse and worse and I couldn't breathe. I rang the ambulance and the took me to hospital. Whilst I was waiting to be seen, my most horrific symptom started there - this rocking/swaying boat sensation. I also felt very sick to my stomach. That lasted for a while, until I left... then I was fine. For 2 days I was quite nauseous. Then the swaying struck again a few days later in a parked car, I got out and ran to the middle of the carpark not knowing what to do - I honestly had this terrible fear inside me that I was about to die... but I didn't. I kept getting hypnic jerks everytime I tried to sleep thereafter.

 

Long story short, my symptoms all got much worse and my doctors diagnosed me with an inner ear infection (which I believe at the time), then they told me its normal to have anxiety with it, which would explain all the other symptoms.

 

It will be my 1 year anniversary since my symptoms all began and nearly 1.5 years since finishing the drug. During that time though, they tried to put me back on Citalopram (one doctor thought it to be withdrawal) he gave me the top dose I was originally on, 40mg and that near killed me - sent me straight to hospital. They didn't know what was wrong with me, but did every test under the sun for my heart rate was all over the place and temperature was very high. That took weeks to recovery from, it made me feel like I was walking on trampolines! Then they tried Sertraline, similar affect but not as bad. Then they tried an anti-vertigo med Prochlorperazine which I trialed for a few days and I felt very cold and sicky on that. Little did I know I was doing myself big big damage.

 

I got a Brain MRI and everything which was clear,  then they diagnosed me with Lyme disease. BUT THEN THE PENNY DROPPED! IT'S WITHDRAWAL!

 

I'm better than I was and most symptoms are gone, and my anxiety has definitely subsided. However, considering all the reinstatements and bad reactions - will I be recovering for years? Not many people seem to have that internal rocking/swaying sensation I have... Mostly Benzo people do. Do we know anyone that has been cured completely of this? Because its by far my worst!

 

PS. I also get burning/prickling on the tops of my hands sometimes after eating turkey or chicken. Its hard to tell. I also get pins and needles VERY easily. Anyone on the same boat?

Did the PPPD ever go away? What about for you @Ariel

36/M, started 10mg escitalopram June 2011

Sept 20th 2021 - increased 10mg to 15mg.
Oct 1st 2021 -November 16th 2021 drug merry go round. Effexor, Zoloft, pristiq.
Nov 22nd 2021 - lexapro 5mg

nov 29th, 2021 - lexapro 10mg

Dec 29th, 2021 - lexapro 15mg

Jan 20th, 2022 - lexapro 20mg

Jan 25th,2022 - lexapro 15mg,Feb 15th,2022 - lexapro 10mg ,Nov 22nd, 2021 - Dec 20th, 2021 -Xanax .25 X2 a day,Dec 20th, 2021 - Jan 16th, 2022 Klonopin .25 daily

2022

,-June 25 - 7.5mg pill, 2.5mg liquid ,-June 28 - 5mg pill, 5mg liquid ,-July 18th - 9.8mg (5mg pill, 4.8mg liquid),-Aug 1 - 9.6mg (5mg pill, 4.6 liquid) ,-Aug 16 - All liquid (9.6MG) ,-Sept 18th - 9.4MG,-Oct 18th - 9.2MG. -Nov 21st - 9MG 2023, April 17th - 8.8MG, May 15th - 8.6MG, June 19th - 8.4MG, Aug 1 - 8.2Mg, Sept 2, 8mg, Oct 9th 7.8mg, Nov 6, 7.6mg, Dec 8th, 7.4mg, Jan 23, 7.2mg Feb 28th 7.1ML, March 13 7ML March 30 6.8ml magnesium, fish oil, b vitamins D3

 

 

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@Conner

Did you mean to tag me (I actually haven't posted in this thread before) or did you maybe mean to tag @Aelius?

Incidentally, I did experience symptoms consistent with PPPD for a while. This has resolved.

Hang in there, Conner. It gets better <3 

1996-2018 - misc. polypharmacy, incl. SSRIs, SNRIs, neuroleptics, lithium, benzos, stimulants, antihistamines, etc. (approx. 30+ drugs)

2012-2018 - 10mg lexapro/escitalopram (20mg?)    Jan. 2018 - 10mg -> 5mg, then from 5mg -> 2.5mg, then 0mg  -->  July 2018 - 0mg

2017(?)-2020 - vyvanse/lisdexamfetamine 60-70mg    2020-2021 - 70mg down to 0mg  -->  July 2021 - 0mg

March-April 2021 - vortioxetine 5-10mg (approx. 7 weeks total; CT)  -->  April 28th, 2021 - 0mg

supplements: magnesium powder (dissolved in water) as needed throughout the day; 1 tsp fish oil w/ morning meal; 2mg melatonin 

August 1, 2022 - 1 mg melatonin

 

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.  - Karle Wilson Baker

love and justice are not two. without inner change, there can be no outer change; without collective change, no change matters.  - Rev. angel Kyodo williams

Holding multiple truths. Knowing that everyone has their own accurate view of the way things are.  - text on homemade banner at Afiya house

 

I am not a medical professional; this is not medical advice. 

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