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Lucky to be alive

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Just curious as everyone is making their way through the recovery process, if this is something that anyone else thinks about.

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I do, SpaceCadet.  I'm glad you do too - it's a lovely thought to have.  Sometimes I think how hard my life is, what I'm missing out on etc, and then I'll stop going down that track and think of the things I still get to enjoy in my life: 


- my daughters, husband, deeper relationships with people due to experiencing on-going tough times, dear friends,

- my garden, my dog Phoebe

- just yesterday I came home from my first ever camping trip (only one night, but in a tent with a real camp-cooker and everything!)

- all the new and delicious/strange thoughts that are able to make themselves known to me, due to the amount of time I need to spend resting


I am lucky to be alive indeed :).

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I definitely see life through a different lense, and have done for years now.


Hoping that that lense will become brighter and brighter with more and more color.


If it wasn't for SA, I don't think I would be alive given the horrendous WDs I had.


For that I feel very lucky to be alive.

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This notion of being grateful for being alive reminded me of something similar:

During the period aftetr my daughter Monique took her life, I sought desperately for ways to ease the unbearable pain, which felt like a literal, internal physical wound that was almost impossible to bear. I did find release from that feeling--took a few years, but it went away!  Meditation, exercise, spiritual reading, connecting with her spirit on the "other side," and--most to the point--the practice of gratitude, all in combination, was what helped lift the dark weight off of me. Somewhere along the way, I heard of the practice iin which you say to yourself, "I am so blessed," no matter how you feel.  It's focusing on what we have left, rather than what we've lost. Looking up into the sunshine rather than down into the dirt. It's hard to practice, but it helps when you do.

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Today I feel lucky, having a window, its really lovely after the last few weeks.  I really try to focus on appreciation as much as I possibly can.  When I feel terrible I listen to youtube speakers and hide but I always try and feed my mind with nourishing content. Unless I am catatonic with distress then its serial killer documentaries, anything to distract myself from pain.  I do believe I am lucky to be alive there have been some close shaves during my time on this planet.  I guess it makes me who I am today and I more or less like that.  I walked my dog yesterday and it was great I am really trying to get off the couch, because I know it is good for me and I really love my connection to nature, man its a mission when all you want to do is hide and read books and eat!!!


things I am appreciating at the moment:

  • my lovely wee dog Chester
  • new solar panels about to go off grid
  • finishing work
  • having time to look after myself
  • my awesome kids and family
  • finding this website!!!



Great topic

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Hey All, I too feel so grateful to be alive. I will admittedly tell you I struggle with the lengthy process. In a window, the inner angst is so much lighter and that is such a blessing. I am working hard, as you all are, to live here, in the now, accepting, all of this. It can be so hard. I am almost 11.5 months into RI and not yet good and steady. Perhaps you might reflect more on what you find helpful to yourself as you continue to go from window to wave. Acceptance, yes, this is hard and it takes s great deal of practice. Over and over. Hoping to get so much better at it.

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