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mdror527: After the Meds: Coping with Emotional Incontinence


mdror527

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I am a new user to this site, and i've joined because I've been having trouble coping with life after the antidepressants, and I desperately need to find other people who understand my difficulties.

 

From the end of 8th grade to the end of my freshman year in college, I was put on antidepressants. That's 5 years which are supposed to be incredibly important developmentally, thrown away on mood suppressants that aren't even supposed to be taken by children.

 

When I finally became of age to legally dictate what goes into my body, I got off the medications. Now, it's been almost a year, and although I no longer feel like a zombie after so many years of feeling dead inside, I cannot control the intensity of my emotions, and often have difficulty controlling my filter. I don't know how to explain it and i've searched far and wide for answers, but when I got off the antidepressants, after a month of horrible withdrawal symptoms, the flood gates opened.

 

Now, my emotions are enhanced 10 fold, and people keep telling me that I'm overreacting about everything and I don't know how to control it. How do I explain to people that I can't calm down? That all my emotions feel intense and I can't turn them off? I'm becoming scared of going out around other people, simply because i'm not sure if I will alienate them with my over-emotional behavior.

 

Can anyone here relate to this?

Edited by ChessieCat
added paragraphs
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  • Moderator Emeritus

mdror - -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)

 

Many people have emotional symptoms during withdrawal extending to well after their last dose. Someone coined the term, "neuro-emotions" for these emotions that are chemical/neurological. Have a look at the discussion at this link:

Neuro-emotions.

 

This topic may have some helpful ideas:

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms.

 

What medications were you taking last year? When was your last dose of each? We'll probably have a few more questions for you about that.

 

A request: Would you summarize your history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly?

  • Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years.
  • Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago)
  • Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016.
  • Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses.
  • A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs.
  • You can find instructions in this topic: Please put your withdrawal history in signature
  • If you are using a phone or mobile device, you need to switch to the "full" or desktop version of the site. Instructions are in Post 9 and Post 10
  • I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but am glad that you found us.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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I am a new user to this site, and i've joined because I've been having trouble coping with life after the antidepressants, and I desperately need to find other people who understand my difficulties.

 

From the end of 8th grade to the end of my freshman year in college, I was put on antidepressants. That's 5 years which are supposed to be incredibly important developmentally, thrown away on mood suppressants that aren't even supposed to be taken by children.

 

When I finally became of age to legally dictate what goes into my body, I got off the medications. Now, it's been almost a year, and although I no longer feel like a zombie after so many years of feeling dead inside, I cannot control the intensity of my emotions, and often have difficulty controlling my filter. I don't know how to explain it and i've searched far and wide for answers, but when I got off the antidepressants, after a month of horrible withdrawal symptoms, the flood gates opened.

 

Now, my emotions are enhanced 10 fold, and people keep telling me that I'm overreacting about everything and I don't know how to control it. How do I explain to people that I can't calm down? That all my emotions feel intense and I can't turn them off? I'm becoming scared of going out around other people, simply because i'm not sure if I will alienate them with my over-emotional behavior.

 

Can anyone here relate to this?

I can. I got blown out of the water because my mom said I was acting "weird" last night. Didn't show her how upset/mad I got. Part of it was, that comment brought back bad memories. Always being told how weird I was as a kid and how this embarrassed her.

Like drinking to forget problems, drugging your brain doesn't solve anything. Finally you have to deal with your problems and the emotions accompanying them. Then things are worse than ever.  :(

I have been on so many medications since I was 20 and diagnosed as "mentally ill" that I have lost count.

Right now, however I have been taking:

Lamictal 25 mg: I went on it in March for only 13 days, then cold turkeyed off when I thought I was developing a rash because of it. Pretended to go back on it, but didn't. Not the best idea, but I had no way to reduce the dose. Anyhow I had no adverse withdrawal reactions, probably because I was on it for less than 2 weeks.

Abilify 20 mg:  I have been on this for several years. Actually at least half the time I have spent as a meds "consumer" I have been on this nasty pill. I finished tapering off it at the beginning of 2016. Was reinstated during the 4 days I spent in a psych ward in March. Tapered off it again in 10 weeks, from say March 15-June 30. Needless to say this is not exact, but I remember I was off it before July 4 (patriotic holiday in America!) I am doing fine, although I know I may have to wait till Christmas or later to know I am out of the danger zone for withdrawal psychosis. The main thing I notice about being off is that I no longer crave sweets all the time and am losing weight without trying. Good thing since I used to weigh 350 lbs.!

Effexor 150 mg: This is the real trouble-maker. Since I have no other way of tapering I do the best I can by bead counting. I unscrew the gel capsule and count out the tiny micro-capsules or beads inside. This works fairly well with the generic time release version. Only 120 beads to count of almost identical size. Lately I have been "holding" at 20 bead removal due to some major stress in my life. Moving hundreds of miles from my old home and a bout of strep throat that wouldn't respond to antibiotics.  I guess that means I'm on 120 mg of Effexor right now. On October 16 I am going to recommence my taper since I am safely moved and no longer have strep! 

I admit now that I did something stupid. I had trouble opening the extra strength gel capsules containing the beads so I reinstated at the original dose for a week. I know it's not good to play ping pong with my brain, but I could never open the capsules without spilling those microscopic balls all over so I was never sure what dosage I was taking! Thank the LORD that I finally have the old kind again and can safely count out the amount. I am now back on 135 mg and feel somewhat better.

October 30, 2016. I am down to 120 mg effexor. November 27, 2016. Down to 105 mg effexor. December 25, 2016. 90 mg effexor. January 15, 2017. 75 mg effexor. January 21. 82.5 mg effexor. January 23, 90 mg again. Feb. 14, 81.25 mg. Mar. 15, 72.5 mg. Mar. 27, 65 mg.  Apr. 9, 58.75 mg. Apr. 24, 52.5 mg.

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Welcome mdror,

 

It's really common for people in w/d to have these emotions.  When you've answered Scallywag's questions then we'll be able to see how fast you tapered, and make a plan for how to help you.  Things do get better, but during this intense time you could make allowances for yourself.  It's okay to stay at home for a while and give yourself some good care until things settle.  

 

Karen

Edited by ChessieCat
changed name from mine to scallywag's

2010  Fluoxetine 20mg.  2011  Escitalopram 20mg.  2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS.  Effexor 150mg. 

2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants.  Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. 

Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms).

8 month hold.

2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent).

2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well.
Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea.

My story of healing:ContinuedHealing

***I am not a doctor; please do your own research and be able to take responsibility for decisions you make.*** 

           'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.'  Dr Gabor Mate.

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Hey mdror

 

I can relate to what you are going through with the emotions thing.  the best analogy I can come up with is that the personality is like a spring and being on the drugs is like two hands pushing the spring inward and it compresses and confines the spring into a tight coil and when you remove the drugs it releases the tension and goes flying or something.  Sorry, I hope the metaphor is understandable.  immediately after wd began, my emotions began to revive again after years on the pills and I became much more creative.   I was laughing and crying constantly.  a lot of the tears were tears of happiness and a lot were tears of sorrow as it seemed there was no end in sight for this wd with insomnia and fatigue and memory issues getting progressively worse.  what I wanted a fairly normal, healthy, happy life that went on for a long time, instead of this short intense burst of living.   after 3 years of poor sleep I am not quite as emotional as before.  feels like wd can cause us to burn hard and fast and leave us pretty spent.

 

poetjester

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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