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raven530: 10 months since Sertraline cold turkey


raven530

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Hi raven. I noticed we're about the same age (I'm 21)...I very much relate to the comment about noticing others enjoying life and wanting to feel ok so desperately. I don't have the same symptoms but I have akathisia from Prozac and it's been wearing me down in a similar way. Ive been enrolled in university the past year that I've had it, but I now have to withdraw. I probably would've reacted the same as you...almost sobbing at the thought of drunk students laughing like I once did. 

Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg

May 2016-June 2016 15mg

June 2016-August 2016 10mg

October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey

January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg 

February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. 

May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total).

early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 

mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August

reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution

Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017  3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018

June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019

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Hi @raven530  I appreciate you posting.  From what I understand recovery for some of us can be truly, truly, truly slow, and definitely up and down.  The one thing on this site you are not--is alone. 

Hey raven,   How are you doing?

Hey everyone, it's been a very long time! A little update from me after a few years out. Overall my quality of life has increased, mostly because of self improvement and changing life circumstances

Feeling the same way brother. probably the worst I've felt. haven't smiled in 4 months. previously incredible willpower falling away. interest in going through motions evaporating. Bed ridden. caged. Tortured.

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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It's seriously rough, I remember last winter being similar so not sure if that's just a coincidence but woulda hoped for something a bit better this time around.

PSSD, Anhedonia, Loss of Imagination and creativity, physical pressure in head all from taking 50mg Sertraline for a month back in February 2015. Not seen much improvement (if any). Time of writing this signature - 01/02/2016 (UK date format)

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  • 2 months later...

I unfortunately don't believe I am going to recover anymore. My PSSD symptoms haven't got better one bit now for a long time.

I've seen so many stories of this just persisting, persisting, persisting and even though I have done everything in my power to heal I haven't got anywhere, and I'm two years off the drugs. I'm almost 22, and I was 19 when this started.

Look at these papers:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16709553

http://bjp.rcpsych.org/content/176/3/29 ... t.pdf+html
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/a ... 2117300720

Not sure what I'm going to do now. I can't just keep waiting for a miracle. I used to think that the people on this forum who were 5-10 years out with no recovery were incredibly depressed or manic, and that it wasn't the AD that caused their symptoms, but now I believe that anyone who has to live with this kind of issue for years and years naturally becomes more agitated about it, and unfortunately that delegitimises them in the eyes of others. 

PSSD, Anhedonia, Loss of Imagination and creativity, physical pressure in head all from taking 50mg Sertraline for a month back in February 2015. Not seen much improvement (if any). Time of writing this signature - 01/02/2016 (UK date format)

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samanthaelizabeth

Why don't you just try a different Antidepressant that isn't an SSRI?  You can stabilize on that and then begin your slow taper.  You want to be happy don't you?  I really don't see any point in suffering.  Just my opinion, I'm not a mod.

  • Ativan Mid April 1999-to end of May 1999 ( COLD TURKEY and flushed them down the toilet) I went through hell for 3 months-I had no idea what was happening to me there was no information on the internet about this drug)
  • Zoloft 200mg 1999 to 2017
  • Wellbutrin 2015 6 months Started having exterme anxiety-quit taking switched back to Zoloft ( I have quit about 6 jobs from this time0  Klonopin .5-1.0 of and on for two months (tapered off in Dec-Jan)
  • 15 mg Remeron 2012-presnt
  • **Started tapering down Zoloft 12/?/17 12/09/17 down to 50mg; 12/12/17-12/14-17 Zoloft 100mg; 12/16/201712/19 -Zoloft 150mg; 12/20/17-01/06/18 Zoloft 200mg; 01/07/18-01//18/18 Zoloft 180mg
  • 01/18/18-present Zoloft 200mg
  • February 2018-Copaxone 40mg (3 times a week shots) (for Multiple Sclerosis)2/17/18 begin transition to liquid 200mg
  • magnesium, fish oil

 

 
   

 

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Fear mostly, I've seen that medications designed to influence the psyche can alter things I never thought possible, such as deep emotions and basic sexuality. What if the next antidepressant I take removes my awareness? Then I may still be a zombie, only now I won't even care. It might remove a function that I didn't even consider important only to find out afterwards how vital it was.

My above comment was written at a real height of desperation. I am desperate but I don't want anyone reading this to feel despair like I do sometimes when reading negative posts. There is hope and I know people have recovered. I just don't think waiting is going to cut it for me anymore. I might experiment with substances that are much safer like Inositol and CBD Oil. 

PSSD, Anhedonia, Loss of Imagination and creativity, physical pressure in head all from taking 50mg Sertraline for a month back in February 2015. Not seen much improvement (if any). Time of writing this signature - 01/02/2016 (UK date format)

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check my update bro. keep the faith

late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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  • 10 months later...

Hey raven,

 

How are you doing?

Paxil (20mg): Nov. 2012 - June 2014. CT of paxil. Severe psyhological symptoms. Reinstatement of Paxil (20mg): September 2014. Several attempts (4 or 5) of withdrawal, failing each time (due to increased symptoms:hypersensitivity to sounds, panic, anxiety) and reinstating back to 20mg. Last reinstatement was in January 2016. Symptoms still present. Stopped paxil cold turkey by the end of January, and switched to Citalopram (30mg)

Citalopram (30mg): Feb 1st 2016 - March 17 2016. CT off Citalopram.

Escitalopram (10mg): March 18 2016 - April 14 2016

Escitalopram (15mg): April 15 2016 - on going. Symptoms: Anxiety, Panic, Hypersensitivity to sounds, Tinnitus, Anhedonia.

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  • 1 year later...
  • Mentor

I can 100% relate to the experience of @raven530 and @nicolantana

I know nicolantana has recovered but i wish raven could come back to tell us how is he doing

Cymbalta 30 mg- 60 mg 

06/2016-  10/2018 ( Cold Turkey) 

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  • 7 months later...
  • Administrator
Altostrata

@raven530 how are you doing?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 months later...
raven530

Hey everyone, it's been a very long time! A little update from me after a few years out.

Overall my quality of life has increased, mostly because of self improvement and changing life circumstances rather than improvement in the symptoms I experience, though there has been improvement there. 

In terms of anhedonia, my baseline is 20-30% above where it was at the beginning, I can connect with sad music and enjoy books which convey mostly sad/ambiguous emotion.


It's not ideal, I was hesitant to give any update because I know that reading the accounts of long term strugglers can be really depressing for people who are more recently off the drugs, however I think the message that life can have a significant upward trajectory even while we are dealing with these issues is important. 

I'm still seeking solutions, and can't be content with where I am now, but quite paradoxically after many years out I feel more hopeful and positive about the future than ever.

All the best to everyone

PSSD, Anhedonia, Loss of Imagination and creativity, physical pressure in head all from taking 50mg Sertraline for a month back in February 2015. Not seen much improvement (if any). Time of writing this signature - 01/02/2016 (UK date format)

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  • Mentor
Hanna72

Hi @raven530

I am glad you are having improvements, that’s a good sign of healing. 
 

1 hour ago, raven530 said:

I'm still seeking solutions, and can't be content with where I am now, but quite paradoxically after many years out I feel more hopeful and positive about the future than ever.

That’s a good attitude to have, hope and faith will get us along way. 
Wishing you all the best.

Prescribed Paxil 20 mg year 2000 for panic attacks.

Many attempts through out the years to quit.

2019 tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg. Got stuck there, decided to bridge with Fluoxetine. 
2020 March off Fluoxetine 

2020 Oct- nov started deteriorating, followed by severe crash. 2021 Reinstated fluoxetine by small amount, until I reach 9 mg

Tapering 10% every 4-6 weeks and longer holds if necessary 

12/5 2021- 8.5 21/5 8.0 15/6 7.5 20/6 7.2 changed to liquid tapering 10/7  7.0  19/7 6.5 20/8 5.8

 

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  • Mentor

This update has made me severly depressed. Are we permenantly damaged? 6 years and still have anhedonia? I just can't believe what happened to us! Why are we being told that people eventually recover fully from this?

Cymbalta 30 mg- 60 mg 

06/2016-  10/2018 ( Cold Turkey) 

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raven530

I really do feel permanently damaged to be honest

PSSD, Anhedonia, Loss of Imagination and creativity, physical pressure in head all from taking 50mg Sertraline for a month back in February 2015. Not seen much improvement (if any). Time of writing this signature - 01/02/2016 (UK date format)

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Fromthenetherlands

Have your cognitive abilities recovered fully? 

Citalopram augustus 2020 - 20 mg untill 14 february 2021 quit cold turkey. No alcohol use or other medicine. No surgery.  Only adviced supplements and little bit of vitamine D because of defficieny. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator

Hi @raven530  I appreciate you posting.  From what I understand recovery for some of us can be truly, truly, truly slow, and definitely up and down.  The one thing on this site you are not--is alone.  There are hardly words that can describe the anguish these evil drugs cause.  I'm grateful that you're there.

Arbor💜💜💜

Zoloft: 1995 - 2015

Prozac: 2015 - 2018 (tapered from 40mg x day on July 31 to 30mg on August 31 to 20mg on September 31 to 10mg October 31 to 0mg on  December 15, 2018

Gabapentin: 2016 to 2019  (tapered from 300mg x day to 150mg on August 31, 2019 to 75mg on September 15 to 50mg on September 31 to 25ishmg on October 15 to 0mg on December 1, 2019

Enalapril: 2010 - 2019

Lipitor: 2017 -2017

Metformin: 2000 - 2020

Liothyronine: 2007 - 2019

Levothyroxine: 2000 - 

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