Snake: Effexor

[Snake]

So hello everyone. This is my first post here and i really need some help. First off all excuse me if i have poor english, its not my native language. So yeah, i've been experiencing serious obsessive thoughts after quitting effexor after using one and a half year. I really really need some help, as its turns my life into living hell.

 

Dont get me wrong, i had those obsessive thoughts before using any drugs but it WAS managable, to a degree at least. After some serious personal issues with family plus girlfriend problems, went to a doctor and started to use this drug. For a year and half, life literally changed for me, i wasnt caring bad things that much, there were no thoughts that blocking me from living, from being at the moment. Look, i have different parts of my life, and i act different in those parts. I act different ( serious as hell) to my girlfriend, act different (even more serious) to family, act different (bit loose, more relaxed) in school or to friends. Its like i am a different person in those aspects of my life but the problem is, my obsessive thoughts are usually towards people. I want to see myself as respectable, i want people to pay attention to their words when talking to me if we are not that chummy. I wasn't that much nervous when i was using the pill but now, i feel insecure, it's like my self confidence has melted away. I was confident much more before using it. I feel threatened when some guy stares at me longer than usual, i keep thinking about it, fighting thoughts crosses my mind, if the person seems to be stronger than me, i tend to think more and more. Then i'm filled with self reproach for not making things i am supposed to do. Asking myself the questions; " Why didn't i said something back, Why cant i do this? Am i coward? " Or if a person crosses the line even by asking how am i, but in a derisive way, like we are that close to each other, i obsess it again.I just answer it like nothing happened but i obsess it later. " Who is he to talk to me like that? Does he see me like im nothing? " I feel derided when that happens. ( Happened once but still ) 

 

I can't enjoy my time because of these thoughts, when having a dinner it crosses my mind and bam. Dinner over, starting to think, starting to rationalize to feel better. I keep saying to myself all of these thoughts are actually way worse than already is. Yet i feel it doesn't suit me. ." I'm the guy they respect, if they say or do something to me they should know something is coming at them, if hostile " This is me. Not the coward after quiting effexor.  I know IT WILL sound silly to most to you. I definitely dont want to fight anyone, not verbally not physically. I dont have the energy for it, and i dont want to deal with it. Although i show respect to everyone, weigh my words before i speak to any person out there, i dont see the same effort towards me, i feel upset. And the worst part is, i look really confident in my girlfriend's eyes, i act confident yet when i do something contradicts who am i to what she knows, i really feel bad. She'd be really surprised if she'd know these things. Nevertheles she doesnt, to her eyes, i'm the man no one can acts however they want to him. If they would, they will get their answer.

 

However the reality is little bit away from that. Is my personality going down? I really dont want to go back to using that drug again. That first week after i quit was really hell on earth. I hope i will feel the same as i was using the drug. Those thoughts must go away. 

 

And oh, little minor thing. I think much more about suiciding. 

 

To sum it up:

 

-Melting self confidence

-Anxiety like problems

-More depressive attitude

-Being obsessive about people's behaviours

-Self judging a lot

-Suicide thoughts

-Feeling insecurity

 

Edited March 5, 2017 by scallywag
tags, KB: moved from symptoms forum

[KarenB]

Hello Snake and welcome to SA,

 

You've been having a really tough time of it, so I'm glad you've found this forum.  Most of us here have been really messed around by these drugs - you are not alone.  I am currently tapering effexor.  You might find it reassuring to read about neuro-plasticity and brain restoration.  It gave me a lot of hope when I first came here.

 

When you stopped effexor, did you taper or cold-turkey?  Thanks for your signature.  Could you add some dates, your method of tapering/stopping, and any other drugs you may have been on?

 

Depending on how long ago you stopped effexor, it may help to actually reinstate a small dose in order to stabilise.  We have a thread that discusses reinstatement here:http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/  Then once you were stable again you could taper off according to our 10% monthly guide.

 

The troublesome thing with SSRIs is that you can't just flush their effects out of your system.  They change the way your brain works, and that takes longer to heal.  Suddenly stopping a drug puts your brain and Central Nervous System into shock.  It's like yanking a trellis out of a garden instead of gently untangling the plants and slowly removing the wood – it’s too much trauma for the plants/your brain.  (For the source of that simile, plus further discussion, see http://survivinganti...el-your-brain/)

 

In the mean time you may like to try Fish oil and Magnesium, which many people useful during withdrawal.  Also, Non-Drug Techniques to cope with emotional symptoms.

 

Symptom Checklist

 

Have a read of those and then you can come back to this thread to discuss things further.  This can be your journal to record your tapering and healing progress, and to ask questions.  With the right information you'll be able to make a plan, and start to get your life back on track again.

 

Welcome to SA,

Karen

[Snake]

Hello Snake and welcome to SA,

 

You've been having a really tough time of it, so I'm glad you've found this forum.  Most of us here have been really messed around by these drugs - you are not alone.  I am currently tapering effexor.  You might find it reassuring to read about neuro-plasticity and brain restoration.  It gave me a lot of hope when I first came here.

 

When you stopped effexor, did you taper or cold-turkey?  Thanks for your signature.  Could you add some dates, your method of tapering/stopping, and any other drugs you may have been on?

 

Depending on how long ago you stopped effexor, it may help to actually reinstate a small dose in order to stabilise.  We have a thread that discusses reinstatement here:http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7562-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-reduce-withdrawal-symptoms/  Then once you were stable again you could taper off according to our 10% monthly guide.

 

The troublesome thing with SSRIs is that you can't just flush their effects out of your system.  They change the way your brain works, and that takes longer to heal.  Suddenly stopping a drug puts your brain and Central Nervous System into shock.  It's like yanking a trellis out of a garden instead of gently untangling the plants and slowly removing the wood – it’s too much trauma for the plants/your brain.  (For the source of that simile, plus further discussion, see http://survivinganti...el-your-brain/)

 

In the mean time you may like to try Fish oil and Magnesium, which many people useful during withdrawal.  Also, Non-Drug Techniques to cope with emotional symptoms.

 

Symptom Checklist

 

Have a read of those and then you can come back to this thread to discuss things further.  This can be your journal to record your tapering and healing progress, and to ask questions.  With the right information you'll be able to make a plan, and start to get your life back on track again.

 

Welcome to SA,

Karen

 

Hello again, thank you for your time and response, its been nearly 2 months since i dropped using effexor, i started using 75 mg in october 2015 until october 2016, doctor told me that i should lower the dosage to 37,5 and after quit. So end of november was the end of it. If that counts as tapering off yes i did taper off, i didn't do any cold turkey thing, ( i think that means quitting the drug instantly ) Actually i was sure that if i use the drug for long enough and when i quit, i thought it would change the way my brain works so that i can change in a positive way, but things are much different than i thought unfortunately. Im not saying i was a perfect human with some tiny issues, no i still was a troubled man with twisted mind but quitting the drug after one and a half year made things worse. Even though the physical side effects are gone, i think i still suffer from the other side effects, mentally.

 

What i wonder is when those mental side effects are gone, wouldn't i be the man again before using effexor? If so, why did i tricked myself into using a drug to "pause" my real thoughts for a while and suffer from side effects? It really did not help! All for nothing? Or do i still have a chance to be a better person with no corrupted thoughts.

 

I will check the links you gave right away. Oh and i did use Lustral when i was a teenager (years ago )for being paranoid for only a few months. That drug was way more easy on me than this, or maybe i didn't use that as much as i used effexor. I think i will pay loads of cash and get my prefrontal cortex removed lol. (Yeah read about neuro-emotions) Thanks again.

[KarenB]

Hi Snake,

 

It is true that when we have finished using whatever drug we had, and when we have also finished with withdrawal we may still need to address the underlying issues that led us to try a drug in the first place.   But this time round we know to address the issue without drugs.  It is important to make a plan for this.   I have a very strong belief that people can heal, and become who they truly are meant to be.  I see it in myself, in many people on SA, and in real life too. 

 

I don't think you tricked yourself - I think the drug companies, the doctors, and the way society is structured tricked you. 

 

its been nearly 2 months since i dropped using effexor, i started using 75 mg in october 2015 until october 2016, doctor told me that i should lower the dosage to 37,5 and after quit. So end of november was the end of it.

If only we could trust the doctors to know what they're doing!  In effect this is very very close to stopping all at once - a cold-turkey.   

 

Since you are only two months out from your last dose, reinstatement of a small dose could be the best way to manage your way through w/d.  Otherwise it's very possible that things will get much worse before they get better.  Did you read the reinstatement thread?  Do you still have any effexor left over? 

 

Have a good think about it, and discuss it more here if you want too.  If you do choose to reinstate, it would be of a very small amount - say 1mg.

 

Let us know what you think - the sooner you reinstate the better the chances that it will work.

Karen

[Snake]

Hey, yes i still have leftovers which are 37.5 mg, i read the reinstatement thread and it felt logical and thinking about taking 1 mg for couple of weeks and see how it turns out.  But i couldn't figure out how to lower the dosage, it's in a pill shape and when i open it i see little dot size white thingies inside of it, is there any calculation for me to understand how many of them needs to be inside of the pill?

[scallywag]

Snake, there's a little bit of math to calculate how many of the "little balls" or beads, but it isn't terribly difficult. Have look at this topic:

Counting beads in a capsule versus weighing.

 

If you have questions, please post them here in your introduction topic.

 

edited to add: I remembered that I recently posted how to determine the # of beads that equal 1 mg:

• Take 3-5 Effexor unaltered-fresh-from-the-bottle/foilpak capsules.
• Get two small bowls or containers. Label one "unknown" and the other "counted"
• Put the capsules in the "unknown" bowl.
• Take a capsule from "unknown" bowl, open it and empty the beads on a surface that allows you to count them.
  Tip: I use a sheet dark-coloured paper placed on a rimmed baking sheet. The dark paper allows me to see the beads and the rimmed cookie sheet prevents the beads from rolling off the surface.
• Count the number of beads. Record that number on paper.
• Put the beads back in the capsule. Put the counted capsule in the "counted" bowl.
• Repeat steps 4, 5 and 6 for each capsule until you have a count for all capsules.
• Calculate the average bead count per capsule.
• Calculate the # beads/mg:  beads/mg = average bead count / 37.5 mg

[powerback]

Hi snake I wont go on to much ,the moderators have giving u great information they'll put u on the correct path .

I just want to say from reading your topic I have a lot of similar symptoms ,my brain never shuts up and without question the drugs have made it much worse.

I have learned  not to listen to everything  that comes into my mind ,I wasn't even aware of my destructive self critic until a therapist pointed it out to me a few years ago and I've done  work on trying  to ease its power over me .

don't ever blame yourself for going on the drugs ,we are raised to trust these people and I'm personally finished ever going near them again once I get past the 37.5 Effexor I'm still taking and hate  .

give yourself great patience and take care of yourself 

[Snake]

 

Snake, there's a little bit of math to calculate how many of the "little balls" or beads, but it isn't terribly difficult. Have look at this topic:

 

Counting beads in a capsule versus weighing.

 

If you have questions, please post them here in your introduction topic.

 

edited to add: I remembered that I recently posted how to determine the # of beads that equal 1 mg:

• Take 3-5 Effexor unaltered-fresh-from-the-bottle/foilpak capsules.
• Get two small bowls or containers. Label one "unknown" and the other "counted"
• Put the capsules in the "unknown" bowl.
• Take a capsule from "unknown" bowl, open it and empty the beads on a surface that allows you to count them.

  Tip: I use a sheet dark-coloured paper placed on a rimmed baking sheet. The dark paper allows me to see the beads and the rimmed cookie sheet prevents the beads from rolling off the surface.

• Count the number of beads. Record that number on paper.
• Put the beads back in the capsule. Put the counted capsule in the "counted" bowl.
• Repeat steps 4, 5 and 6 for each capsule until you have a count for all capsules.
• Calculate the average bead count per capsule.
• Calculate the # beads/mg:  beads/mg = average bead count / 37.5 mg

 

Thank you very much, didnt know it was that easy, i will try it out asap!

 

 

Hi snake I wont go on to much ,the moderators have giving u great information they'll put u on the correct path .

I just want to say from reading your topic I have a lot of similar symptoms ,my brain never shuts up and without question the drugs have made it much worse.

I have learned  not to listen to everything  that comes into my mind ,I wasn't even aware of my destructive self critic until a therapist pointed it out to me a few years ago and I've done  work on trying  to ease its power over me .

don't ever blame yourself for going on the drugs ,we are raised to trust these people and I'm personally finished ever going near them again once I get past the 37.5 Effexor I'm still taking and hate  .

give yourself great patience and take care of yourself 

Hey man thanks for your kind wishes, you are so right about not listening the thoughts forcing into mind but im really having a struggle not to pay attention to them. Its the closest thing to being posessed by a demon ( well of course if there is such thing ) For me personally i dont trust a single psychiatrist from now on. Never again, and the doctor i went considered one of the best doctors in Turkey ( He was an ex soldier (Colonel) and served in Turkish naval forces as a psychiatrist i guess. ) And he left me in this situation.  Starting on Muay Thai this monday to revive my self-confidence, i hope it helps. If you have the similiar symptoms to mine maybe you should try the same thing as most martial arts has a good reputation on bringing back ( or increasing ) self confidence and removing most of the fear against other people which is killing me.