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ZayKayWill

ZayKayWill: 2 years off Adderall - withdrawal or not?

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ZayKayWill

Hey guys.  I found this site from a person on Quora...first time posting here...not sure if this is the right place since Adderall isn't an Antidepressant...but here I am.  If there is another site I should go to I would appreciate if someone could link.  I made a topic on there asking if I could really still be going through Adderall withdrawal even 2 years later.  He told me he could see it...

 

but the only thing that REALLY scares me is the fact that I wasn't on that high a dose (20 mgs along with Vyvanse 40mgs, even though I would abuse it some times).  Plus I was only taking it every day for maybe a year and a half...maybe a little bit longer.

 

I've been prescribed these meds since I was 6, but I never really took it consistently until I started working in June of 2014.

 

My symptoms are so weird.  I've posted on other drug forum sites and literally no one could relate to me...these are my symptoms: Depression (obviously that's a very common one), fatigue, tired a lot, sometimes have trouble sleeping, but the most crazy ones I have: I feel these CRAZY sensations in my head.  It literally feels like there's a giant bubble on the right side or the back of my head.  Not so much the left side, though...  Bubble, pins and needles, liquid running through my head...that's the best way I can put it.  A lot of people would say that maybe it's brain zaps, but these sensations occur constantly and not just out of nowhere.  They never go away and sometimes I do feel 'zaps' but it literally feels like bubbles/pins and needles/liquid is running through my head.  There were some very few occasions when the sensations got SO exacerbated that it felt like my head was exploding.  To be more specific it literally felt like a hose was being run through my head and all this water was just running through it.  I know that sounds crazy weird, but that is the best way I can put it.  I seriously thought I was gonna die or that I was having a seizure or something.  I should also add that during this moment I was going through a lot of weird and crazy emotions and I literally felt like I was going crazy, which makes me think that perhaps it's just brain chemistry...  This particular instance only started occuring maybe 5 months ago and only occur maybe once a month or once every 2 months or so....last time I had an episode that crazy bad was mid December.

 

All the doctors that I've seen say that it's just anxiety....to be honest I guess I don't blame them I've gotten both an MRI and a CT scan and they both came back normal to my surprise...so I guess it can't be anything too serious.  So maybe it really is just extreme anxiety?  Idk.  If there is anyone that can relate to what I've gone through it would REALLY put my mind at ease....

 

I've read some of other peoples stories and I guess that even if you didn't take it as long as you're having withdrawal you can still be going through it.  For example, not sure if anyone has heard of Brian Baxter?  He's the guy who posted on YouTube about his horrific Benzo Withdrawal experience...apparently he only took Xanax for about 1 year but it took him 2 years to fully recover.  Also read another story on another website of some person taking Paxil for only 9 months but taking maybe 2 years to fully recover...I don't know.  Whatever you guys have to say, let me have it....

Edited by scallywag
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ZayKayWill

Nobody...?  :/

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PoetJester

Hey ZayKayWill

 

this site doesnt' always get a lot of traffic or people responding to introductions.  Looks busier than it is sometimes.   part of that is that people in wd are often in pretty traumatic depressing circumstances and don't have time to reply.  those are some strange symptoms.  I thought I must be alone going through what I did at the start of my wd with vomiting, fatigue, dizziness, and horrible insomnia, until I came to this site and saw that so many others have the same, strange and terrible wd symptoms and yet I never met anyone through wd so in a way I am still alone.  I used to think we should set up something like a leper colony for people in wd where we can at least keep each other company in this misery.    I am guessing the exploding head has to do with whatever Adderall is made of.  I had just read of exploding head syndrome online somewhere recently but I can't remember where or in what context my search was in.  I would try and backtrack through my memory to figure out what I had been looking at, by like so many on this site, my sleep has been awful and depressed for 3 years and my short term memory doesn't function all that well.  there are other Adderall stories on this site if you look for them.  Anyways, I just wanted to say "hi" because wd can be a very lonely and isolating experience and you wrote a pretty thoughtful entry, but hopefully a moderator will come along and be able to guide you towards stories that match your wd symptoms.  obviously your doctors just calling those head sensations anxiety is way off.  they really don't recognize much in terms of wd symptoms so it's hard dealing with regular gps.  It's like if you saw ghosts, they couldn't test for it and would probably dismiss you as crazy.   I don't know what to tell you really.  these wd's can go and on. there was a new member posting a week ago who has been living for 8 years with horrible wd symptoms (I am 3 years out and growing more tired and exhausted by the day) after only being on Zoloft for a year.  At least your sleep isn't too bad, so that's a positive.   sorry, about the rambling nature of this post.  I only got 2 hours of sleep and woke from the usual demented and  depressing wd dream/nightmare.  if I remember where I saw stuff about exploding head syndrome, I'll post it on your thread.

 

Poetjester

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Shep

Hi, ZayKay.

 

Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants.

 

Yes, people can still feel the effects of psych drugs even two years off.  Many of us on this forum can relate to what you wrote. 

 

 

but the only thing that REALLY scares me is the fact that I wasn't on that high a dose (20 mgs along with Vyvanse 40mgs, even though I would abuse it some times).  Plus I was only taking it every day for maybe a year and a half...maybe a little bit longer.

 

I've been prescribed these meds since I was 6, but I never really took it consistently until I started working in June of 2014.

 

 

 

You can develop a severe dependency even on low doses. It depends on how your brain adapts to the drug.

 

This thread explores this:

 

How your brain responds to psychiatric drugs - aka "Brain remodeling"

 

 

Bubble, pins and needles, liquid running through my head...that's the best way I can put it.  A lot of people would say that maybe it's brain zaps, but these sensations occur constantly and not just out of nowhere.  They never go away and sometimes I do feel 'zaps' but it literally feels like bubbles/pins and needles/liquid is running through my head. 

 

 

I had a similar sensation when I came off z-drugs and benzodiazepines. Odd and painful head symptoms are very common. 

 

Although you list previous use of Adderall and Vyvanse, all psych drug withdrawal can have a "windows and waves" recovery. Here is more information:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

Are you currently on any drugs or supplements? How did you come off Adderall and Vyvanse - was it cold turkey or with a taper? 

 

Please feel out a signature:

 

Please put your withdrawal history in signature

 

I'm glad you found us for information and support. Please use this thread to post updates and feel free to ask questions. 

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ZayKayWill

I'm somewhat familiar with exploding head syndrome and I'm pretty sure that's not what I'm going through.  I am currently on drugs.  When I came out of rehab in January 2015 I got put on Concerta 36 mgs and that was to kinda help me taper off the Adderall I guess.  About maybe 4 or 5 months ago, though I was put back on Vyvanse since I didn't feel the Concerta was doing much.  Started on 50mgs and now I'm on 60mgs.  I don't take it all the time, though...in fact I recently just stopped taking it altogether and I don't really feel any super bad withdrawal symptoms...the only major ones are the random waves of depression and this crazy feeling on the right side of my head.  I honestly feel it was mostly the Adderall or the combination of both Adderall and Vyvanse that got me to where I am today.  Vyvanse is just so mellow.  I mean idk...and when I got on the Concerta 36mgs I only took it as prescribed and never abused it.  I mean idk...could this be prolonging my symptoms?  To be honest I feel a lot more clear minded than I did a year or 2 ago so I feel that some progress has at least been made.  And whenever I don't take my meds I don't feel this crazy urge to want to take more or anything like that...I feel I have some pretty good control.  I was taking the meds so I could study for my GRE to get into graduate school, but I recently have been taking a break from my studies.  Probably not going to start again until maybe August.  So I mean at this point I really have no need to be taking any meds which is why I just recently completely stopped.  I would take it maybe 2 or 3 days a week before that and that was it. 

 

I do take supplements.  I take Magnesium and I am also taking Biotin and some other hair vitamins called Hair Essentials.  Some people have been calling me out on my hair balding...so yeah.  But other than that I don't really take anything else.  And in terms of coming off the Adderall, when I was in rehab they tapered me off.  For the first week they gave me 10 mgs, then the 2nd week went down to 5 mgs then on the 3rd week would give me nothing.  I used to smoke weed quite frequently but I actually just recently stopped that.  At this point I only plan to do it recreationally.  Never by myself.  I guess I feel that smoking was helping me come off my meds.  I'm so glad I found this site.  All the doctors I have gone to just think I'm anxious and it's pissing me off.  My mom has been super supportive, though.  None of my friends really know what I'm going through, though. 

 

Edit: The absolute weirdest symptom that I notice is that when I pull my hair to a certain side, the bubble feelings amplifies.  So let's say I pull my hair to the left side of my head (where there is really none of that feeling going on) the bubble feeling will move to that side of my head.  I find that VERY VERY weird.  It's like...does brain chemistry really do that?  Idk...it scares me...I got both a CT Scan and MRI, though, and they both came back normal..so can't be anything too serious...hopefully....right..?  :/

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Altostrata

Welcome, ZKW.

 

How much magnesium do you take, and what kind? See Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 
Many people find fish oil helpful, too  King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)
 
How's your sleep? Why are you taking 25mg Seroquel? When do you take Wellbutrin, and why was it prescribed?
 
Please put all your drugs in the Drug Checker at https://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.htmland copy and paste the report in this topic.
 
Your taking several drugs and having made a lot of drug changes recently makes it difficult to tell what symptoms come from where. You say you didn't feel anything from the Vyvanse, but it added to the mix and might have affected your nervous system anyway. It does look like you have a longstanding dependence on amphetamine and amphetamine analogs.
 
Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages.

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Shep

Hi, ZayKay.

 

I'm concerned about your take-as-needed approach to these drugs. In your signature, you have Wellbutrin as a drug you "hardly ever take".

 

How often are you taking it? If you do indeed rarely take it, I would stop. Antidepressants are not drugs that should be taken like this and most likely, it's ramping up symptoms when you do take it as it confuses your CNS (central nervous system). 

 

Also, I'm a bit confused as to what you are asking of us. You came in asking if your symptoms could be from being off of Adderall after two years, but it's clear now that your symptoms most likely are coming from your current drug usage, as well as possibly being from Adderall withdrawal. 

 

Are you interested in becoming drug free and coming off all your psych drugs?

 

Below are some resources that I highly recommend.  You sound young, so perhaps these are resources you may wish to share with your mom and other family members so they have more of an understanding.

 

I was 17 when I was put on a full cocktail of drugs after being labeled manic depressive, and I'm completely drug free now after 30 years. All I can say is the long term outcome of these drugs is very poor, so it's best to research this while you're still young and decide how you want to live your life. For me, being off the drugs is a much better life, even though I'm still healing from withdrawal. 

 

After you have a look at these resources, please let us know if you have any questions and we'll do our best to answer them. 

 

Anatomy of an Epidemic - Book

 

 

Robert Whitaker, author Anatomy of an Epidemic - Video (11 minutes)

 

 

Robert Whitaker - Medicating ADHD - Video (42 minutes)

 

 

Study: ADHD Drugs Fail to Help Kids Complete Homework - Article

 

 

Mad in America - list of articles on ADHD and stimulants - Articles

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ZayKayWill

Well since stopping the Vyvanse I just started back up on the Wellbutrin maybe about a week ago...I figured the Vyvanse would help me get through this rough time that I'm having since so many meth addicts apparently use Vyvanse as a wean off method...but yes.  To answer your question I would love to be completely drug free.  Today I only took 450mgs of Wellbutrin.  I got my Vyvanse script a month ago and I literally only took 10 pills this whole month.  My sleep is okay...I usually don't fall asleep till super late like 2 or 3 or 4 in the morning...if I take Seroquel I'm fine I usually just take 25mgs but sometimes I will use Melatonin.  I really should just stop everything you're right.  Like I said though I haven't been taking any Vyvanse and I plan to keep it like that.  My plan was maybe to just take one once a week in August once I get back into studying.  Didn't feel like that would be too bad an idea, but yeah aside from the Wellbutrin and low dosage of Seroquel I've stopped pretty much everything. 

 

Okay, I will stop the Wellbutrin completely.  In fact once I get home from work I will flush it no problem.  The only reason why I felt Wellbutrin would be okay to take was because it's a very mellow Antidepressant.  It's both Dopamine and Norepinephrine, which is basically what Adderall and Vyvanse are.  So in my mind it was basically taking a lessened version of Adderall/Vyvanse.  I was prescribed it when I went to rehab 2 years ago.  The psychiatrist gave it to me in a way to wean me off Adderall.  I never really felt any real difference when I took it, though, so it really doesn't make a difference to me.  Thanks for all the advice.  Not gonna lie I feel kinda bad now.  :/

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ZayKayWill

Just wanna know if anyone has had weird head sensations after coming off medication.  For me it literally feels like there's a giant bubble in the back of my head.  Pins and needles feeling, sometimes feels like there's water running through it.  Best way I can describe it is sometimes it feels as if someone put a running hose in my head.  I thought it was a brain tumor or something so I got some tests done but they all came back normal.  What I find weirdest is that I've posted on other forums about what I've been going through, and no one really could relate...but apparently people here can.  Everyone else I tell this to just thinks I'm being anxious or that I'm crazy.  Absolutely blows my mind how little doctors know about these effects on people.  I just don't trust doctors anymore.  Hate to admit it. 

 

What scares me the most is that a lot of people seem to have some crazy WD symptoms when it comes to SSRIs, but not so much dopamine agonists such as Adderall and what not (which is what I used to take).  It makes me feel as if maybe it is just all in my head and maybe I really am just being anxious.  Or something.  Not sure why I seem to literally be the only one who had taken Adderall to be going through these horrible WD symptoms assuming that that is very well what they are.

 

I literally had a few episodes where the sensations were so strong that I literally felt like my head was going to explode and I was going to die.  Very similar to a seizure, I guess, but apparently when you have a seizure you don't know that you actually have one. 

 

The absolute weirdest symptom that I have is when I pull my hair to a certain side, these sensations become more severe and apparent.  So for example, I don't really feel these sensations on the left side of my head, but when I pull my hair to the left side of my head, those sensations will move over to that side.  Weird, right?  I just don't know anymore.  :(

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scallywag
ChessieCat

Hi ZKW,

 

I've moved the new topic you created to your Intro/Update topic.  It is better to ask questions about your own situation here.  This will keep your history and the responses to your questions in one place.

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ZayKayWill

I don't know what to think anymore.  I ******* hate my life.  2 and a half years and still dealing with these head pains from Adderall, and even worse?  It seriously may just be permanent.

 

https://www.cchrint.org/2014/11/25/are-all-psychiatric-drugs-too-unsafe-to-take-answer-yes/

 

Sorry but I can't put up with this bullsh*t anymore.  If there are some people out there that have made full recoveries, great, but I'm starting to get the feeling that all these reassurances that our brains will recalibrate is a bunch of bull crap.  Sorry for making this topic I just....I can't take this anymore.  Seriously **** this.  I was the happiest kid ever before I did any of this, now I live every day with crippling ever long depression.  I don't know how much longer I can deal with this.  **** this....

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scallywag

ZKWill -- Please remember that many people have successfully discontinued psych meds, including Adderall.  You'll recover too. 

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Shep
On 7/21/2017 at 11:56 PM, ZayKayWill said:

I don't know what to think anymore.  I ******* hate my life.  2 and a half years and still dealing with these head pains from Adderall, and even worse?  It seriously may just be permanent.

 

 

Hi, Zaykay.

 

It's quite possible that some of your current symptoms are from your use of other psych drugs. All psych drugs can cause these types of head symptoms. It's a sign of nervous system dysregulation, which will get better as you come off ALL of these drugs and give yourself time to heal. As Scally posted, many people do come off these drugs and heal. 

 

You mentioned that you stopped taking the Wellbutrin. Are you still taking Seroquel? 

 

Please update your signature.  This will help us give you information and advice. If you are still taking Seroquel (and any other psych drug), please list the dose and time(s) of day you take it. 

 

 Please list drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly:

 

  • Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
  • Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
  • Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
  • Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
  • A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
  • Link to Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.
Edited by Shep

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smketdie

Hello  are you okay just wondering ?

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