Frazzledbrain: Amitriptyline fried me

[Frazzledbrain]

Feeling like im regressing into myself. Anyone know if this a normal?

[ChessieCat]

I'm not quite sure what you mean by regressing into yourself.  Dr Glenmullen's Withdrawal Symptoms list:  #26 under the heading Disassociation - Feeling detached or unreal.

 

derealization-or-depersonalization (see Post #10)

 

agoraphobia

 

brain-fog-blank-mind-comprehension-cognitive-and-memory-problems

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's Withdrawal Symptoms

[Freedom15]

Just want to ask how much support do you have around you ie friends and family..?

 

A big thing for me was not spending alot time on my own with all the symptoms i had as i would just be pulled

inwards more and more and totally felt like i was losing myself.

 

I have been lucky that there was a drugs and alchol drop in service in town which i went to 5 days a week and

i would just sit on the sofa with tremours totally out it most time.

 

Things have got easier over time and my central nervous systom has calmed down little as the waves are less.

 

Still have massive physical and emotinal sypmtoms tho with will prob not go till i am fully off drugs and prob then some.

 

This is the tuffest thing that i have ever had to deal with and seems never ending.

 

Its a slow process to get beck from all this and one you can and will do...

 

May you get some peace soon.

[Frazzledbrain]

Just feeling more and more brain dead by the day. Seem to be going into myself just sat here in a completely catatonic state and just feeling like my brain is dying. Don't know how I'm even finding the motivation or intellect to type anymore. I'm sure my brain is shutting down and survival instinct dying. Typing and reading is the only cognitive ability I have and now losing that, feel like a vegetable. My intellect is getting worse by the day and feel like becoming retarded. Movement isn't natural and seem to have to use a different part of my brain to move and can only stand up for a minute or so. I have my mum here with me most of the time and she is great help but feel almost no connection to her and it's horrific as I love her so much really and just feel I'm becoming more and more disconnected from the world by the day, feels very degenerative what's happening to me. Not sure what's going to happen. I'm still managing to eat plenty and get six hours sleep a night. I could maybe take a positive if I was stabalised but just getting worse by the day. I will keep trying to type and talk to people online to try and hang onto something but don't think I'll be able to for long. Seem to improve slightly at night but still horrific.

[Frazzledbrain]

Is it normal to feel catatonic withdrawing from antidepressants?

[Frazzledbrain]

Feel like I barely recognise my own family. Is this normal and can it resolve? It feels like so much more than dissacotiation or dp/dr

[ChessieCat]

Missed this one.  Here's another link:  Anhedonia, apathy, demotivation, emotional numbness

[scallywag]

Frazzled - There are people who have, for whatever reason, experienced the same severe withdrawal symptoms you are having. -- and, more importantly they have RECOVERED.

 

One we know of is GiaK/Monica who has posted a success story on our site and several years ago founded the site beyondmeds.com. She has posted a summary of her healing experience on this page.

[Altostrata]

You are experiencing typical withdrawal symptoms and effects of antidepressants. This site exists because going off them isn't easy. Please prepare yourself for a project that will last months.

 

You will need to be patient, to manage your symptoms, and not to dramatize the misery -- that will only make it worse, adding more stress to your nervous system. This may be the hardest thing you've done, but you will get through it.

[Frazzledbrain]

Thanks for replying Scallywag and Altostrata. What I'm struggling with most at the minute is my brain feels so paralysed, really struggling to initiate any kind of thought or do any simple things online. Is it possible to recover from this in a matter of months as I'm seeing no improvements and it's been a at least two months like this and it feels so permanent. My body is starting to feel paralysed too, sat upright most of the day but starting to feel very rigid.

[Happy2Heal]

Frazzled, it WILL get better, I have had the very same symptoms that you mentioned, and they are getting less and less.

 

It helps a LOT to focus on the things that are going RIGHT, any GOOD thing that you can think of.

 

When you focus on the things that are good, even if you don't feel any real enjoyment from them, then the GOOD things will GROW

 

but when you focus on what is wrong, those things can grow, too, and we don't want that.

 

so try to make a list every day of at least 10 things that are good in your life.

 

you might want to start your list with something like: I am healing. (because the fact that you have symptoms shows that your brain is busy working on making things right again)

and you are healing, you just have to believe it and try to build on whatever small improvements you have along the way

 

it's not easy but it's definitely something you can do!!

[Frazzledbrain]

Thanks Catnapt. I'm forcing myself to do as many normal things as possible which is helping keep me sane. I've noticed today I seem to be having some vision issues, things starting to look a little wobbly and has concerned me a bit.

[Skeeter]

H2H had vision issues as well. I am sure she will be able to talk to you about it if it gets worse or changes much from normal, or if she sees this. Her eyesight changed for quite a while, but then suddenly righted itself quite recently, in fact! The things you are going through are not unheard of by any means according to both Catnapt and Petunia. Please try to get up and do any thing normal just once every day. Get the mail, feed the cat or dog if you have one there. Get up and wash your hands, or brush your hair. Find things to focus on that take little thought if that is easier for you!

 

Wishing you well!

Skeeter

 

Edited March 30, 2022 by ChessieCat
changed member name

[Freedom15]

I have had blurry vision whilst on amitritaline for over 2 years now

 

I struggle to focus through day on small writting.

 

also my vision has pulsed with my heart beat as well although this seems carmed down.

 

I found that after reinstaement alot of the side effects i didnt have arrived.

 

It maybe worth you reading my posts that i have made over the 2 years i have been here.

 

The way i have found to get through this is to see whats happening as a base line and unless something out of the blue happens

i generally see where i am at as " stable " normal.

 

That way although there is stuff going on your not constantly focusing on it.

 

Its tuff really tuff and long road home. Getting into a place where carm and focused in the middle of the chaos is the

only way i have found to get thorugh this day by day.

 

Dont not think this is the rest of your life.

 

Take each day at time as things will change over time slowly.

[Frazzledbrain]

Thanks for all your replies people. Sorry if I seem ungrateful, I don't mean to be but just living in hell. My eye problems only seemed to last for a few hours and back to normal now. I'm no better overall but somehow still hanging in. Thanks again

[Happy2Heal]

Thanks Catnapt. I'm forcing myself to do as many normal things as possible which is helping keep me sane. I've noticed today I seem to be having some vision issues, things starting to look a little wobbly and has concerned me a bit.

 

hi FB, sorry I am just seeing this now.

I had a lot of vision issues, too- things would look like they were moving when they were not, I would see a ghost image of things sometimes, I had a lot of floaters. Sometimes things would look extremely bright, other times, so dark I would keep adding more lights and still, things looked dark to me.

 

I had my eyes checked out thoroughly and while the eye dr  ( a specialist) was able to verify that my vision was impaired, she was not able to find a cause for it.

but I KNOW that it's a WD symptom because EVERY Time I tried to reduced the dose of lexapro (usually by too much) I would have these vision issues.

 

it will get better. I recently noticed that most of my vision problems are gone.

The gradually got better over the course of time, and now, my vision seems to be normal most of the time (with the exception of changes related to have cataract surgery a few years ago, of course, plus aging changes to my eyes, none of those are related to WD)

 

you'll get better, just give it time.\

 

EDITED TO ADD: hahaha, talk about brain fog or whatever, apparently I already did respond to this. I think I'm doing just find and then realize I'm repeating myself hahaha

 

sorry about that!

[Frazzledbrain]

Thanks Catnapt. My vision problems seemed to be very temporary and not had them since. I'm just wondering if anyone knows why things seem to improve a bit in the few hours before bed. What is actually happening in our brains at this time? Is it because we've got through the day and our subconscious is just readying for sleep? I have the most terrible apathy all day and it improves a little at night along with the cognitive difficulties and depression, it's all still horrible but a definite improvement.

[LexAnger]

A topic about your question

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/13932-why-morning-is-so-much-worse/

[LexAnger]

Thanks for replying Scallywag and Altostrata. What I'm struggling with most at the minute is my brain feels so paralysed, really struggling to initiate any kind of thought or do any simple things online. Is it possible to recover from this in a matter of months as I'm seeing no improvements and it's been a at least two months like this and it feels so permanent. My body is starting to feel paralysed too, sat upright most of the day but starting to feel very rigid.

OMG, I know how you feel! this is exactly I am going through each day plus many more other strange and most touturing symptoms.

It sounds like you had a reaction the that last drug, or possibly to all three you took.

 

Do you see ANY improvement or changes since stopping all?

[Frazzledbrain]

Thanks for the link and your reply LexAnger. The reaction was definitely all from the amitriptyline. The other two didn't bother me at all but I was obviously unable to metabolise that nasty toxic amitriptyline and I could feel it frying my brain for four months after stopping taking it. I don't seem to be as suicidal as I was a couple of weeks ago. I spent a whole month feeling like I can't stand to be alive another minute longer and fighting the urge to kill myself all day long and that has lessneed alot but all other symptoms are just as bad. The worst is feeling like a completely different person, I really don't know who I am anymore and have no feelings towards anything.

 

The suicidal symptoms have lessened so I assume the others will start to improve too as I've heard people say suicidal ideation is the first symptom to go. I've noticed the apathy has started to improve in the last few days also but don't have the energy to do much though. This drug has left my muscles feeling all dead and it's horrible, the worst kind of fatigue I've experienced and I have C.F.S. I keep forcing myself to do normal stuff to try and connect to the old me as much as possible.

[LexAnger]

Don't know what can be done to the situation we are stuck in. I'm too totally brain damaged by both drug reaction and WD. The only way is to hold strong with faith in the healing ability of our brain. There are so many who were hurt badly like us but eventually recovered so we will too, it takes extreme patience and enduration unfortunately,

 

Total crime, this psychiatric epidemic!

[Frazzledbrain]

Do you ever feel like you're going mad LexAnger? I have feelings of madness during the day and it improves at night

[LexAnger]

I believe I do have feelings similar to that. For me, it's from the drug reaction, more like very restless, uneasiness, and some agitation, My teeth will be so tight and gleching like my head wants to explode. When that happens, I cut dose it will lesson. When I am in WD (after cut and feeling like I'm lack of the drug), I don't have that feeling but very down and weak, and sedated.

 

This symptom of your seems consistent with how I feel from the drug reaction.

[Freedom15]

I have to been plaged between adverse reaction and wd of this drug also.

 

I am still here and have been reducing since early 2015.

 

Some days i think i am totally gone other days i think i see glimpes of my old pre drugged self.

 

The key is to try and not give up and know that trying to deal with it a day at time is easier than thinking your going to be stuck like this for rest life.

 

Things will improve it just takes time.

[Cipramillion]

How are you Frazzle?

 

Hope you are doing ok. 

 

Cip

[Frazzledbrain]

Thanks Freedom15 and Cipramillion for your messages. Still hanging in but no improvement, still completely brain dead with no feelings or just feelings of going mad. Feel so tired it's scary. Feels like when I used to smoke weed all day as a teenager and at the end of the day night I'd feel totally wiped out and cant be bothered to move a muscle but this is all day long and ten times worse. Don't know how I'm hanging in really and not killed myself. No signs of things improving and pretty sure this has done me permanent damage.

[Cipramillion]

Breaks my heart to hear that. What about friends and family. You got some support around you?

[Frazzledbrain]

I've got my mum and that's about it really. I used to work away abroad alot before I got cfs and mostly friends were from work so ended up losing touch with them since I've been ill. My mum doesn't really believe what I'm telling her and just thinks it's some kind of breakdown but she is very helpful and does as much for me as she can but the state I'm in taking its toll on her quite alot now. Guess I can do nothing but just keep hanging in. Thanks again, I'll keep in touch.

[KarenB]

Melt into your own life

 

Something from that link may be helpful for you just now.  Sorry it's so hard.

[Frazzledbrain]

Thanks Karen

[Frazzledbrain]

Does anyone actually know what causes the severe cognitive impairment from the drugs? I don't know if what I have is similar to what other people are describing or if it's due to the anticholinergic effects of the amitriptyline.

[Freedom15]

I would say its because amitriptyline is highly sedating and also because of the anticholineric effects as well.

 

amitriptyline has local anesthetic side effects so your not going to be on your best on it at all and that is what causes the numbness.

 

Its know for causing all sorts of memory issues and productivness issues.

 

Its totaly knocked me for six and even still at the low does i am on 0.014mg.

 

At 20mg i could hardly stand up with the effects.

 

How are you doing anyway ?

 

Have you stabilised out yet ...

[nicolantana]

how are you now frazzled brain??