waves12: 8 months after cold turkey and can barely cope

[thecowisback]

7 hours ago, Liamb123456 said:

How long were you on meds for 

20 years

[EnglishSteve]

 I read your thread waves and Sympathise. I was wondering how you’re getting on now  ?

[waves12]

32 months since cold turkey.

 

Terrible debilitating anxiety but have had a lot of stress since March last year and no let up from the situation so far.

 

Can anxiety really make me feel so unwell all the time?

 

Can anyone relate?

 

It is so bad I am having MRI next week as have convinced myself this can not possibly be anxiety, fingers crossed it all comes back ok.

[Gridley]

Waves, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.  Speaking for myself, anxiety can definitely make you feel very unwell, with various symptoms physical and emotional, especially when it's constantly activated with stress.  Good luck on your MRI.

[waves12]

1 hour ago, Gridley said:

Waves, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.  Speaking for myself, anxiety can definitely make you feel very unwell, with various symptoms physical and emotional, especially when it's constantly activated with stress.  Good luck on your MRI.

Thank you Gridley for saying that it is reassuring.

 

Will post and report back after MRI.

 

Waves

 

[Carmie]

Hi waves, 

 

I’m really sorry that your anxiety is so high. A lot of the time it is withdrawals, but it’s worth checking out if you’re worried about it. At least you can have peace of mind then. 

 

Could you please put in your drug signature so that we can see your medication history at a glance. Thanks a lot. ChessieCat will send you a link. 

 

Wishing you all the best in your healing journey💚

[ChessieCat]

Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature

[Waiting12]

I can relate, I’m sorry W. Chemical anxiety here non stop too. 

[waves12]

On 2/21/2019 at 5:50 AM, Carmie said:

Hi waves, 

 

I’m really sorry that your anxiety is so high. A lot of the time it is withdrawals, but it’s worth checking out if you’re worried about it. At least you can have peace of mind then. 

 

Could you please put in your drug signature so that we can see your medication history at a glance. Thanks a lot. ChessieCat will send you a link. 

 

Wishing you all the best in your healing journey💚

Thanks Carmie

I had my results and all is fine. Great news for me but....................... the anxiety still remains that I wonder if I am losing my mind, I feel terrible everyday for several months now and its almost got me housebound.

 

I still work from home dont do my work properly really, skimming over what I have to do.

 

This job was due to finish some time ago but will be finishing in two months now.  I am so scared as not well enough with the anxiety to go out and find another job and I fear losing my home as I have a mortgage to pay.

 

So much fear. The fear I expect is adding to anxiety too.

 

How do others cope with this terrible anxiety?

 

It doesnt even subside like it did before in the evenings.

 

I had suffered with dark depression on and off during all this and it left for a while, few months, it has returned again and now dealing with the depression and horrible anxiety on top.

 

The suffering is inhumane.

 

Will do the medication list later, it is in my profile as had problems adding it in when I joined.

[waves12]

On 2/22/2019 at 1:52 AM, Waiting12 said:

I can relate, I’m sorry W. Chemical anxiety here non stop too. 

Thanks Waiting

 

I dont know if its chemical or just who I am.  I have always been a bit of a worrier but never had this sort of anxiety, but I was on meds for many years so I guess it was masked.

 

I listen to and read Claire Weekes all the time.

 

Hope you having better days.

[waves12]

I feel so broken today and wonder if this is WD or my new mental health normal, very scared today.

 

 

[thecowisback]

36 minutes ago, waves12 said:

Thanks Waiting

 

I dont know if its chemical or just who I am.  I have always been a bit of a worrier but never had this sort of anxiety, but I was on meds for many years so I guess it was masked.

 

I listen to and read Claire Weekes all the time.

 

Hope you having better days.

that is what i have after stopping the meds. i took the pills for ocd in the first place, but the anxiety and levels of ocd i've experienced during withdrawal are far far worse than i ever experienced before the meds. i also started to experience depression which was something i never had before in my life. i hope you get a break soon xxx

[waves12]

1 hour ago, thecowisback said:

that is what i have after stopping the meds. i took the pills for ocd in the first place, but the anxiety and levels of ocd i've experienced during withdrawal are far far worse than i ever experienced before the meds. i also started to experience depression which was something i never had before in my life. i hope you get a break soon xxx

Thanks thecowisback

 

I was reading some success stories for comfort and I know it all takes time and that all the past catches up, unresolved issues plus the inability to cope as never learnt.  Scarey S*** for sure.

 

How are you getting on?  I see you have reinstated.

 

I am 32 months off ct now and its so tough.

 

xxx

[thecowisback]

i haven't seen much improvement at all in 2 years, and mentally my problems were getting worse. i'm on 2.5 mg of prozac now. it's been 6 weeks and i've actually had a couple of much calmer days, calmer than i've known since stopping the prozac so i'm going to keep on at this low dose and see how things go. i kept thinking recovery could be just round the corner, but things had gotten so bad over christmas i just had to take a risk and do something about it. i couldn't wait any longer. 

[waves12]

48 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

i haven't seen much improvement at all in 2 years, and mentally my problems were getting worse. i'm on 2.5 mg of prozac now. it's been 6 weeks and i've actually had a couple of much calmer days, calmer than i've known since stopping the prozac so i'm going to keep on at this low dose and see how things go. i kept thinking recovery could be just round the corner, but things had gotten so bad over christmas i just had to take a risk and do something about it. i couldn't wait any longer. 

Pleased that the dose is working for you so far.  I had read you were struggling a bit with the RI for a while there so its good that you feel a bit calmer now.

I completely get why you are doing this, it is so hard to carry on with all the mental symptoms.

 

I have a very ongoing stressful situation with family and its causing such suffering that I feel I cant carry on like this at times and have thought about RI several times in the last few months but also too scared of start up symptoms or failure of RI not working.

 

I will continue to follow your progress and really hope for you that it now all goes up and up.

[thecowisback]

thankyou - i know what you mean about the fear - i was really scared of starting again, finding it didn't work  or maybe make things a whole lot worse. it's very early days yet but the 2 days of calm that i had were so good that i'm really hoping things are easing up a little. 

having family problems must be a nightmare when you've already got so much going on with withdrawals 😥

[GonnaBeOk]

 

On 2/14/2019 at 5:28 AM, waves12 said:

32 months since cold turkey.

 

Terrible debilitating anxiety but have had a lot of stress since March last year and no let up from the situation so far.

 

Can anxiety really make me feel so unwell all the time?

 

Can anyone relate?

Yes, I can completely relate to the debilitating anxiety. It is absolute torture, and 100% related to my CT withdrawal from Prozac 10 months ago. I never had anxiety like this before meds. I did struggle with some anxiety, but not this gut-wrenching, intolerable worry that never leaves.  Our son is graduating from nursing school out of state in about 7 weeks, and I am not able to go. Heartbreaking. I have been housebound and have great difficulty coping with anything. Other paramount symptoms for me are horrid depression (a million times worse than any previous depression) and terrible insomnia (I've never had insomnia before), and many other symptoms as well. I thought about reinstating, but have not yet, mainly because I am so unstable already, that I fear having to come off if it doesn't work or makes me worse.  I am trying to implement neuroplasticity exercises, but find it very difficult to simply function. I try not to be on the forum much, as it doesn't seem to be great for my worried thoughts, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

[thecowisback]

so sorry to hear you're having such a rough time gonnabeok. it's hard to describe to anyone who hasn't had experience of this just how bad the fear, depression and insomnia are. i've never experienced anything like this before in my life and feel like i've lost the past 2 years completely. i hope you manage to get some relief soon. so sorry to hear you'll be missing your son's graduation

[powerback]

On ‎2‎/‎14‎/‎2019 at 1:28 PM, waves12 said:

t is so bad I am having MRI next week as have convinced myself this can not possibly be anxiety, fingers crossed it all comes back ok.

What did they check in the MRI ,this would of been a good situation to get your nervous system scanned.

I can relate to the extreme Anxiety ,its a cruel joke.

 

I suggest cleaning up everything in your life ,diet needs to change if we are consuming sugar ,diary ,gluten, caffeine .all bests are off once our nervous system is upset. 

 

The home stress is a very tricky one ,I think we just need to keep learning and realising what we need to just not pay attention to our own reactions to others and keeping our heads down.

 

Get a plan in your head for the work situation ,get networking with your DR ,build up a  good relationship so they can help you and sign you off sick .no one wants to be on the sick but freaking yourself out will not help either .even give yourself a years break ,nothing is wort driving yourself into the ground,i learned this the hard way.

Anxiety is very covert ,we bury our head over making decisions ,the smallest things become huge ,Claire weeks will help you push through a lot of this .

Take care and keep learning Waves 12.

[GonnaBeOk]

Thank you so much @thecowisback. 💗

[Carmie]

Hi Waves, 

 

I’m so sorry that the anxiety is so bad for you. My coping strategy when going through waves is pretty much distraction, I do arts and crafts, take photos, go out in nature, listen to music, watch DVDs and Netflix etc etc. 

 

One of these days all the horrible symptoms we have now will be gone. If you had anxiety before you were on the meds it shouldn’t be as severe as when going through withdrawals, because everything is really ramped up during withdrawals. Our CNS is on high alert all the time, and all of our emotions can be a lot worse. 

 

Take care💚

[waves12]

I am now 33 months since cold turkey and finding it almost impossible to carry on as I am.

 

The anxiety is off the chart and the depression is so dark.

 

My sleep is just 4 hours if I am lucky and been this way since the journey began.

 

Its all affecting my work, my family, my friends and feel I am losing a battle to stay the course.

 

I would like to try reinstatement but also know it could be hard at this stage.

 

Would one of the mods please advise, I would be so grateful.

 

I have duloxitine 20mg capsules and 10mg tablets of citalopram here in the house. 

I dont think the citalopram suited me one bit as when I was switched to it I had problems, I think I did anyway, or else it was just the switch over that threw everything, but more likely the cold turkey, not sure really.

 

I didnt feel great on the A.D's down the years but didnt feel suicidal thoughts as I do now.

 

Thanks

Waves12

[waves12]

I have also lost so much weight and feel weak and exhausted that going for walks has become difficult now.

Last year I was walking and cycling everyday, I dont have the energy now and its very concering.

I had MRI scan of brain and spine and blood tests recently and all came back ok.

[waves12]

bump

 

[thecowisback]

it's reasuring to hear your mri scan results were ok but that doesn't help with how bad you're feeling 😯 can you do even a tiny bif walking? when i started i could barely make it to the end of my street but i kept persevering and got a little bit further each week. i now do anywhere between 15-30 minutes a day which probably isn't enough but it's better than nothing. can you go swimming? good luck if you do decide to reinstate. xxx

 

[Alice1]

Hey Waves ,

You've mentioned that you had tremendous stressors in your family .. How is that going ? Is it still active or has it passed ?

[Goosie]

I hope you feel better @waves12    

I am struggling with the same thing.  I have to believe things will get better.  

[Altostrata]

Hello, waves.

 

Is your family situation still stressful? This can indeed interfere with your stabilizing.

 

What is your sleep pattern? There may be ways to improve your sleep, that could make a difference.

 

The Cymbalta and Celexa must be quite old. Even if they're still good, there's no telling if reinstatement might help or hurt. You might be interested in Lamictal (lamotrigine) to calm post-discontinuation withdrawal symptoms

[waves12]

Update almost 36 months since cold turkey.

 

Still suffering with debilitating anxiety and dark depression, the depression in waves of days the anxiety constant and impacting daily chores. 

 

Have had stressful time with family matter which began almost a year ago and peaked in March this year. 

 

I don't know how much is related to discontinuation any more it feels like this is just who I am now very scarey if that's so. 

 

Sorry I can't be more positive with update but this is how I am. 

 

Home situ is not good as live alone and family not close by and many friends gone off since this all began. Lost my life it seems. Spend a lot of time alone and feel quite frightened by myself with intense suffering daily. 

 

Feel hopeless to be honest and a shell of who I was 3 years ago which was busy active socialable and full of energy. 

 

I don't know if I can carry on some days as it is so hard to believe I will make a recovery from all this. 

[Goosie]

I’m so sorry you are suffering.   I believe you can heal in time.   I am on a high protein diet and it seems to be helping.    

[waves12]

6 hours ago, Goosie said:

I’m so sorry you are suffering.   I believe you can heal in time.   I am on a high protein diet and it seems to be helping.    

Thanks Goosie for your help. I was very good at planning good clean meals but have slipped back with this a bit since stressful family situ so thank you for good reminder to me to get back to my proper healthy foods. 

Wishing you well. 

[herod]

Hi waves, I'm sorry if this sounds stupid, but are you getting enough sun, and have you looked into your diet?

Some things, like caffeine, trigger my symptoms, so I stay away from them. I feel like fish oil helps me a lot also.

[waves12]

On 6/7/2019 at 12:59 AM, herod said:

Hi waves, I'm sorry if this sounds stupid, but are you getting enough sun, and have you looked into your diet?

Some things, like caffeine, trigger my symptoms, so I stay away from them. I feel like fish oil helps me a lot also.

Hello Herod 

 

Thanks for posting to me.

 

Yes get plenty of sunlight I go for a walk every day I do eat healthy foods. 

 

Have had and still have so much stress and symptoms have increased lots since all this started. 

 

It's very hard to get a break from it all. 

 

Hope you doing ok.

[waves12]

Almost 39 months off from cold turkey. 

Really bad high anxiety that is so hard to deal with. Makes me want to jump out of my skin it's like being plugged in to the electrics. 

Anyone feel similar?

Anyone have any tips on how to cope with this high anxiety? 

Hope everyone is doing ok and the best they can.

[gardenlady]

Hi waves.  I'm tapering Cymbalta very slowly and also having a terrible time with dread, doom, despair, depression, insomnia and akathisia.  I'm wondering if your feeling like you're "plugged into the electrics" is actually akathisia.  I have that awful internal agitation and restlessness in addition to the restless legs at night and the intermittent need to jiggle my leg or move around during the day....all of which are classic akathisia symptoms.  The insomnia is awful...I stay awake for over 24 hrs about every 3 or 4 days and then it takes me 2 days to recover from that and when I do, then it's back to more than 24 without sleep....a terrible cycle that won't stop. 

 

I'm sorry you had to endure a cold turkey, but if it's any comfort, a slow taper can be very tortuous, too.  I'm in agony all the time and am decreasing by 1 bead per week.  I'm at 44 beads/8.4 mg down from 60 mg and will need to slow down even more the lower I get so it may take another two years or so.  It's hard to imagine feeling like this for that long not to mention the healing time required post-taper.  I've been at this for over 18 months, now.

 

I'm really sorry for your suffering and I wish I had an answer.  Unfortunately, I think the only remedy is time and patience. 

[Alice1]

1 hour ago, waves12 said:

Really bad high anxiety that is so hard to deal with. Makes me want to jump out of my skin it's like being plugged in to the electrics. 

 

Sounds like Akathisia Waves . I've got it really bad . From what I've research It does go away , but it can take a long time .