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EMDR: has anyone tried this? Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing therapy


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Has anyone tried EMDR and if they have did they have any success with it?

Originally went on prozac 2008 for CFS - 20mg

Finished end 2012 - extreme anxiety and insomnia for a year, reinstated Jan 2014 - 40mg.

Jan 2015 tapered to 20mg - 5 months WD

Sept 2015 - took 3 tablets for vertigo - triggered 5 months WD

Switched to sertraline Dec 2015 - didn't work so went CT Jan 2016. 6 weeks of breathing and sleep problems so reinstated sertraline.

April 2016 CT - WD started.

April - August 2016 very low dose zopiclone - made WD worse so stopped end August 2017

Since Sept 2016 WD: drowsiness and fatigue; headaches (ended Christmas 2016); numb face (ended Christmas 2016); vivid dreams; anxiety and tearfulness; dizziness; nausea; loud tinnitus; irrational feelings of fear and dread; tingling up and down the backs of my legs; some insomnia but that's getting better. 

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  • 3 months later...

I'd like to know too. Is there a topic somewhere? I can't find it.

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues

  • September 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Google surviving antidepressants EMDR. I'm sure there is a topic.

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Is this similar / the same as EFT?

 

Maybe I confused the two since I'm not a big fan of abbreviations..

 

There is a link to EFT in this post.

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing; emdria.org) is a (now) mainstream approach to treating traumatic memories and the emotional fall out of going through trauma. It was developed by a psychologist, Francine Shapiro, in the late 1980s and has pretty good support for its effectiveness in the research literature. It used to be viewed as a fringe approach but no longer. I teach psychology courses and have found EMDR mentioned in most of my clinical textbooks. I am also trained in conducting EMDR (I'm a psychologist/therapist), and I have experienced it as, in most cases, extremely effective in helping people heal from trauma. I also use an adaptation of EMDR called IADC (Induced After Death Communication; induced-adc.com), which is designed to help people heal from grief after a loss. Excellent approaches, both of them, in my opinion, and I tend to be a bit cynical about a lot of therapies out there.  Not sure how effective they would be during WD, but perhaps, at some point in people's healing process, EMDR might be effective in helping people cope with the traumatic memories and aftereffects of going through withdrawal.

Drugfree Prof

Psychologist and Psychotherapist

Prozac 20 mg for approx 3 months during 2000, withdrew, no w/d sx

Prozac 10 - 30 mg Jan. 2008 - Dec. 2014

Ritalin 30-40 mg Jan. 2008 - Mar. 2015

W/d sx from Prozac started around 3 months after cessation--crying spells, depressed mood, lethargy; resolved in 8 - 12 mos. post cessation

Used and continue to use a TON of alternative methods--meditation, mindfulness, nutrition. supplements, exercise, etc.

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EFT is not the same as EMDR.  EFT is Emotional Freedom Technique and involves "tapping" on various points on the body while talking to oneself about painful thoughts and feelings--e.g., these WD symptoms are horrible!  I can't stand them!-- and eventually replacing those self-statements with  more positive, constructive ones--e.g., I know I am healing; I can get through this; I will survive.  www.thetappingsolution.com

Drugfree Prof

Psychologist and Psychotherapist

Prozac 20 mg for approx 3 months during 2000, withdrew, no w/d sx

Prozac 10 - 30 mg Jan. 2008 - Dec. 2014

Ritalin 30-40 mg Jan. 2008 - Mar. 2015

W/d sx from Prozac started around 3 months after cessation--crying spells, depressed mood, lethargy; resolved in 8 - 12 mos. post cessation

Used and continue to use a TON of alternative methods--meditation, mindfulness, nutrition. supplements, exercise, etc.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

thanks for the clarification. Now I remember I have heard of both.

 

Knowing what we know about how sensitive and fragile our brain is in WD, I would say that any technique that deals with past trauma might be too harsh.

 

WD is not a good time to work on past trauma because this can evoke strong emotions that our WD brains might not be able to cope with and could increase symptoms.

 

That's just my lay, common sense opinion.

 

I'm a big fan of talk therapy and it has been a constant for me for over 20 years. But I make sure my therapists are tuned in with my inner states and don't force any generic approaches. When I feel sturdier we do unpack some past trauma but when I'm in a wave the therapy becomes a very gentle support and discussion on what I can do to better protect my vulnerable self. 

Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2

2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Yes, EMDR can be VERY intense therapy. But it can also be very effective. I agree that  during WD would NOT be a good time to go through EMDR, as during WD, one's brain, and therefore one's emotions, are unstable to say the least.  The last thing you would want  to do during WD is elicit negative memories and feelings, which is what is done during the EMDR procedure.  I do think that, under normal circumstances, or when someone is well past WD symptoms, that EMDR is a good choice for resolving traumatic memories.

Drugfree Prof

Psychologist and Psychotherapist

Prozac 20 mg for approx 3 months during 2000, withdrew, no w/d sx

Prozac 10 - 30 mg Jan. 2008 - Dec. 2014

Ritalin 30-40 mg Jan. 2008 - Mar. 2015

W/d sx from Prozac started around 3 months after cessation--crying spells, depressed mood, lethargy; resolved in 8 - 12 mos. post cessation

Used and continue to use a TON of alternative methods--meditation, mindfulness, nutrition. supplements, exercise, etc.

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I was using EMDR to try to treat the drug-induced anhedonia, but it is also a treatment for anxiety. It is not just used for trauma anymore, but can be used to process any unresolved emotion really, or to desensitize a person to any uncomfortable attitudes/beliefs.

 

I never felt more upset reliving past negative events, even though I have severe withdrawal anxiety and depression. These were not events that caused Post Traumatic stress conditions in me, but events that affected me negatively and made me prone to depression/anxiety. It would be different to relive an even that I still experience as traumatic today (e.g., something that causes flashbacks or bodily reactions when I'm exposed to triggers).

 

I just never feel that upset during or after the EMDR sessions. I'm way more upset in the days I'm home and have less distractions from intrusive thoughts and neuroemotions (I distract a lot, but they syill get me more when I'm home alone). 

 

That said, my anxiety and depression have worsened since I started doing it. I just don't know if it's due to EMDR, or to taking Xanax once a week for the last 2 months.

 

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues

  • September 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

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  • 4 weeks later...

Still trying EMDR. Will report back here when I have a better sense of whether it made me worse or not. One person in protracted withdrawal from several psych meds told me it helped her with withdrawal neuroemotions and intrusive thoughts and didn't make her worse.

 

Not many people in withdrawal seem to have tried it though.

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues

  • September 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

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  • 3 months later...
On 23/07/2017 at 5:56 AM, Newbeginning said:

Still trying EMDR. Will report back here when I have a better sense of whether it made me worse or not.

 

Hi newbeginning! Do you already gave any more information about EMDR? I would like to know more.

 

Hope you are doing well :)

2001 - 2004 (9yrs to 12 yrs old): Clomipramine (don't remember dosage).

2013: Sertraline on September but stopped after two weeks. Xanax for 3 months (late september to december). Two days of terrible withdrawal insomnia and panic but stopped.

2014 - 2015: Luvox 50mg (february 2014 to june 2015).

2015 - 2016: Luvox 25mg (june 2015 to april 2016). Started to taper in April, taking one every other day for a week, one every two days. Severe dp/dr, anxiety and panic attacks.

2016 - 2017: Reinstated Luvox 50mg in June. Started to feel very depressed and anhedonia. Thoughts of suicide that scared me.

January 2017: stared tapering Luvox.

(Gradually reducing 1/8 of the pill, 6.25mg each time (every 4 to 6 weeks) - 12% of original dose, because my taper was going well and couldn't cut pill into smaller bits)

July 2017: 25mg

(Reduced 1/8 of the pill, equivalent to 6.25mg - 12% of original dose)

August 2017: 18.75mg

October 2017: 18.75mg

 

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Hi Deise,

 

It seemed to make me worse. My withdrawal symptoms were mainly anxiety and depression, so maybe it had to do with that. Will try again once I'm at least a month or two stable between cuts. 

 

I do know one person in withdrawal (protracted) who experienced less intrusive withdrawal thoughts and less withdrawal anxiety using EMDR--so it may depend on the person too. If you try one session or two, just observe how you feel for a couple weeks. If it makes you worse, it tends to resolve in a week or two after you stop it, so its worth the risk I think. I dont know anyone who got worse on it and stayed worse for months.

 

Its very important that you like and trust the therapist, and that he/she is certified in EMDR and very experienced.

 

Thanks for reminding me to update here :)

  • SSRIs 3-4 times in the last 14 years; would take them for 6-8 months and then taper off under dr supervision with no problems.
  • Med history prior to 2015: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6012-newbeginning-my-withdrawal-story/?p=267313#entry267313
  • 04/2015: Prozac decreased to 15mg over last 3 months; effexor held steady at 8mg; current effexor XR: 20 beads of a 75mg capsule per day (about 8mg)
  • 06/2015: Prozac: 10mg; effexor XR: 19 beads (about 7.5mg); 07/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor 18 beads; 08/2015: Prozac: 7.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • End of August: withdrawal: depressive symptoms, crying spells. Realized I was measuring prozac dose wrong for the last 2 months. Reinstated Prozac 8.5mg; Kept effexor at 17 beads. Stabilized in 5 weeks.
  • 10/2015: Prozac: 8.5mg; effexor: 17 beads
  • 11/2015: Prozac: 1.9ml (7.5mg); effexor: 16 beads
  • 12/2015: Prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: 16 beads. Withdrawal: neuroemotions
  • 01/2016: prozac: 1.6ml; effexor xr: reinstated 17 beads, withdrawal improved; 02/2016: Prozac 1.5ml; Effexor: 17 beads; 03/2016: Prozac 1.3ml(5mg); Effexor: 17 beads (7mg)-withdrawal (flu-like malaise, lightheaded, drowsy) started end of March. April 15: reinstated Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized. 2 weeks ok. End of April: Withdrawal (neuroemotions). Eventually stabilized in April-May. Apathy improved.
  • 3 month hold until August. August 2016: apathy came back;

  • October 2016: updosed to Prozac 1.6ml. Bad reaction: anxiety, depression. End of October: went down Prozac 1.5ml. Stabilized over several weeks.

  • Dec 9: tried macca for energy: anxiety/depression. Improved over several weeks, but not completely resolved.

  • Dec 31: cut Effexor 5% to 16 beads. After 9 days: withdrawal anxiety, depression; tried updosing to 17 beads Feb 7 but anxiety got worse; went down to 16 beads

    May 2017: Anxiety improved; severe depression continues

  • September 2017: finally stabilized!!!!!! 09/07/2017-12/31/2017: hold

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  • 10 months later...

Thank you for the information Newbeginning.  At 9 years off with a few lingering symptoms and having identified the source of the problem as to why I was put on psych drugs to begin with ... I am now ready to deal with my traumatic past (I hope).  I was diagnosed way back then with Bipolar but that is not the case at all, instead what I do experience is Complex Post Traumatic Stress.  I've been in a Women in Trauma group all summer and today had my first appointment with one of the trauma therapists that helped run the group.  Trust has been established between us over the summer and I cried the whole hour and a half just going over the assessment questions.  This is good.  During withdrawal I did not cry at all and only started a few months ago, thankfully.  After the assessment she recommended we do EMDR and I wanted to see if others had done this and what their experience was.   Thank you again for your posts on the topic.  If you are still here and have more to add, I'm listening.

A 20 year history of always a combo of 4 psych drugs sometimes more.  At last I had this awakening thought "These drugs aren't doing me any good."  I listened and at that point made the decision to taper off the last drug cocktail I was on of Celexa, Lamictal, Klonopin and Seroquel which I did in one year.  (Shock and awe.) Drug free May 6/09.  Sure is a slow healing process.

 

"Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go;  it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow."  Alice Mackenzie Swaim 

 

 

Not a doctor ... blah, blah, blah.  Not giving medical advise ... blah, blah, blah

 

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I have tried EMDR on multiple occasions over the years. First, in the 1990s in conjunction with treatment for neuromuscular pain (cervical dystonia) and bruxism triggered by Zoloft. I didn't notice anything. 

 

More recently, I tried it with 2 additional practitioners with no response aside from enjoying speaking with someone who understands the harms of the drugs.

 

I tend to dissociate easily and one thought that that is possibly standing in the way and referred me out to another therapist for a new type of therapy, but I never went. 

 

Withdrawal itself has opened up a Pandora's Box of repressed memories and trauma. I believe there's a thread about it somewhere. 

 

This is the thread:

 

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to EMDR: has anyone tried this? Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing therapy
  • 7 months later...

Hi, I tried EMDR before I started tapering. It was very helpful. I could only have a 4-5 sessions though, because we moved home. Still made a large difference to some childhood traumas I had though. 

 

However, during withdrawal, we can be extremely vulnerable, so EMDR might be too intense for many. 

 

2005-2018: Sertraline 50mg

Jan 2018: Started taper from 50mg

Jun 2018: 25 mg

July 2019: 20 mg. Switched to Microtapering

Spring 2020: Tetanus vaccine and a course of rabies vaccinations. 

July 2020: 16 mg. Hold.

During 2020, I was forced to change manufacturers(of generic Sertraline) 4 times due to supplier issues. I didn't write the dates down. 

1st Oct&4th Oct 2020: IV drip with Metoclopramide, ranitidine, hyoscine butylbromide in hospital

26 October 2020: 17 mg

1Nov: 16mg

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I wrote further up on this thread on Sept. 5/18 when I had just begun this process of contacting an EMDR therapist.  The first EMDR session I had was okay.  The second led to a revisitation of severe physical pain the next day which was the same stuff I had during withdrawal.  I decided not to do it anymore at the present time.  The therapist had a hard time with my "no thanks, not anymore" so I walked away.  I'm not interested in being controlled by anyone anymore and that is one of the precious gifts of my withdrawal experience.  I have since found another therapist and will find out what she's made of and possibly try EMDR again with her.

A 20 year history of always a combo of 4 psych drugs sometimes more.  At last I had this awakening thought "These drugs aren't doing me any good."  I listened and at that point made the decision to taper off the last drug cocktail I was on of Celexa, Lamictal, Klonopin and Seroquel which I did in one year.  (Shock and awe.) Drug free May 6/09.  Sure is a slow healing process.

 

"Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go;  it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow."  Alice Mackenzie Swaim 

 

 

Not a doctor ... blah, blah, blah.  Not giving medical advise ... blah, blah, blah

 

 

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I'm getting into the 'long tail' of my WDs from olanzapine now, at 2/3s of the smallest tablet size they sell.

 

I'd been pulling and pulling on that thread of 'why do I have self destructive tendencies?' since I was in my late teens.  It's been a long road finding why.  Along the road I had a 'crisis' and couldn't cope with some very difficult situations in my early-mid 20s.  More in my intro thread if anyone was interested.

 

My mother took me to a psychologist to try EMDR before that 'crisis' but unfortunately I couldn't stand the guy and nothing useful happened.  Pity - she was on the right track and if I'd got on with that counsellor who knows how much pain we could've saved.  But I didn't know much then, certainly not enough to safely navigate the deep waters my life had led me into.  These days I'd just be "well who else does this, let's try them."

 

Ultimately finding a supportive and understanding practitioner turned out to be the key for me...even if decades on.

 

Songbird asked me to add my post today in Carmie's thread here so I will do so below.

 

Also wanted to add that despite WDs I didn't want to put this work off a moment longer.  I have my doubts whether the difficult material would have been usefully accessible at a higher dose, my feeling is that 2.5mg and below is when the lights really started coming on for me.  I did hold for most of the therapy period.  Another motivation to get on with it was to try and get the trauma out of the way so it wouldn't cause trouble later on lower doses or after WD is complete.  For me I'm comfortable that's been the right decision, and being on this side of the issues is so liberating and such a relief.  Your mileage may vary, as they say in the classics.

 

Hope this is useful:

 

Quote

Re EMDR, the clinical psychologist I went to specialises in the kind of things that get you put on neuroleptics.  I've linked to the BPS pamphlet in my thread which links psychosis to past trauma and discusses approaches to treating it besides the toxic drugs.  I was very pleased to find a sympathetic ear.  She offered me a couple of ways of working through my issues and we agreed EMDR was probably the most helpful approach.  We had a few sessions working out the stresses and life difficulties that led to my 'crisis' in the 90s. 

 

It seems to me now anyone with half a brain would have been able to get me on the right track if they had listened to me better back then, but the prescribing goblin in the 90s denied any kind of talk therapy could help, told us all I had some defect 'chemical imbalance' and put me on the olanzapine "for life", the miserable sod.

 

I didn't give up on taking charge of my own healing (it was clear no one else would - they only really cared whether I was holding down a job), started lowering my dosage, exercising and after years of meditation some really hard things started coming up.  That's when I found my own psychologist as mentioned above.

 

The idea with the EMDR is that when you have unresolved trauma, particularly in your subconscious, it just hangs around being spiky rotten and unpleasant and sets off your fight-or-flight reflex way too often.  So if you can make these trauma/s conscious and pass them on to the part of the brain that normally stores memory like all the normal experiences do, you can unclog your body from hanging onto the pain and start healing.

 

I knew there was something amiss there most of my life.  The EMDR worked amazingly well and a bunch of things started coming up over a few sessions.  I was staggered by how vivid the recall is with this technique, and how my body was storing tensions from early childhood.  The smells, the time of day, who was there, what was said, how I was feeling, right back there again.  Practical time travel in a sense!

 

After two sessions we both felt there was something that was still to be unearthed, the root issue.  It was a huge relief in a way but there it was the next time, I had to relive being sexually abused at age 4 or 5.  Revolting and very uncomfortable, but now I know what happened, and my body and brain can process it consciously.  I found it hard to believe for a while but my body left me in no doubt.

 

My so-called 'diagnosis' back then was based on symptoms that are directly congruent with surviving child sexual abuse.  No need for any of the goblin's rubbish to explain things.  Nothing wrong with me in the first place, and nothing I could have done at age 4 or 5 could have repelled that attack.  My poor developing brain!

 

Everything started falling into place after that, parts of my life that had confused me made sense, depression and anxiety are less than 1/5 of what they were before.  Lots of anger, like lots.  So much of my lifetime effectively stolen that I will never get back.   My psychologist has been able to help me channel that into safe and constructive outlets.  Still working out how to tell my family, but I feel they need to know some time.  Will probably write them a letter. 

 

On the up side I'm a lot less shy now.  The only problematic symptoms I'm having now all seem wd-related, and each time I hold for a while it confirms that for me as they settle.  I feel once I'm off the rest of this blasted compound for a while I'm going to be pretty much who I should've been already.  Looking forward to that and it does keep getting better as I go.

 

So yeah it was kind of an archaeological dig for me.  Tiring, painful, difficult and messy.  But I'm on the right side of it now and life keeps improving.  Finding the right practitioner made it possible.  I didn't even know if I was going to be able to get the result I needed but thankfully did.  Feels like I've walked over the biggest mountain in my life path so far.  Sure, there'll be more healing to do but I've got the splinter out now.

 

Hope that's useful info and that your weekend is ace!

 

*hugs*

 

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own.  

Please do not seek tapering support via private message

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

Backdrop:  2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole

2015: olanzapine  10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg  by crude pill cutter

2018:  Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold

Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214  -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂

"Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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I did EMDR therapy for processing the trauma of my withdrawal and a few waves. I believe it did help me feel lighter and let go of pain and fear connected to the trauma of withdrawal. A close family member recommended me to her therapist who does EMDR but I'm sure you can find practitioners on Psychology Today.

Apr 2018: 10 mg Amitriptyline (for headaches & insomnia).

Jul - Aug 2018: Fast taper to 5 mg and then 2.5 mg (too fast, hellish withdrawal at 2.5 mg).

Sept 2018: Reinstated 10 mg (many symptoms improved).

Oct 2018 - Apr 2019: Updosed & stabilized on 11 mg (2 waves at 3 and 5 months post-withdrawal).

Apr 2019 - Apr 2020: Tapered 0.5-0.25 mg per month using compounded pills: 11 mg —> 6 mg. (2 waves at 12 and 16 months post-withdrawal.)

Apr 2020 - present: Switched to a liquid taper at rate of 0.1 mg per month. Currently: 3.8 mg. No more waves. 

Supplements: Omega-3 fish oil, Vit B12, coenzyme Q10, Hawthorn extract (for tachycardia)

Tools for insomnia/waves (as needed): Epsom salt foot soaks, 0.5 mg Melatonin, quality time, waves WILL PASS.

Lifestyle: Eat real foods, mostly plants; sunlight & walking; symptom tracking on adapted Glenmullen chart.

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Has anyone had EDMR during withdrawal?

 

If so, did it help..?

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added topic title before merging with existing topic

Riseridone (dose unknown) 2010 (no approximate end, short-term use), Aspergers. Tapered. Fluxoetine 10mg 13/14. Direct switch to -- Citalopram 2014/14. Quetiapine 2014/14. 1 week. (Cold turkey, advised by NHS). 

Risperidone, 20th March 2016, cold turkey April 10th, 2016 Zoloft, April, 2016, 25mg, increased to 50mg in May, increased to 100mg in late 2016, decreased to 50mg, September 2019(Accidentally)weaned myself off. Reinstated Zoloft 50mg for 3 days - March 23rd to 26th. Early 2021 (changed brand of Zoloft. Tapered down. Med free since 11th February. Waiting to see if any windows happen). Supplements (occasionally l theanine 300mg, trialing CBD) Took a small light dab of powder, barely a compound. Deciding to wait and see what happens afterwards, not wanting to reinstate now. 

 

Took a small dose of L-Theanine (under 20mg). Negative reaction included: sweating, mania, head pressure, head tingling, worse insomnia. Not touching anything ever again. 

 

Anhedonic since March 2020!

Using a THC free edible on the 5th June ruined everything. Insomnia, no appetite, numbness, DP/DR.

 

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On 6/25/2022 at 7:35 PM, 00ColdTurkey said:

Has anyone had EDMR during withdrawal?

 

If so, did it help..?

 


Yes, and yes.  It was the right time.  I was far enough into the taper that the drug wasn't blocking off the emotional and somatic experiences that I needed to get to.  And it made me confident that there wouldn't be unresolved muck to trip me up during the tail end of the taper.

 

It's not easy, but it never will be.  It definitely beats the uncertainty of wondering if you will be overwhelmed and drugged again.  But above all the healing it gave me is irreplaceable.  Using the questionable 'broken bone' analogy, this was where the bone got set straight and put in a cast.

I was around 2.1mg olanzapine.  My intro thread here started around that time, if you were interested.

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own.  

Please do not seek tapering support via private message

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

Backdrop:  2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole

2015: olanzapine  10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg  by crude pill cutter

2018:  Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold

Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214  -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂

"Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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I did emdr before stopping the tablets and it didn't do anything for me

2015- Jan 2021 20mg Citalapram

January 2021- April 2021 Sertraline (CT over 2 weeks)

June 2021 - Fluoxetine with Trazadone

Oct 2021- Trazadone switched to Quitiapin.

Oct 2021 to June 2022 switches Duloxetine then paroxatine then Venlafaxine.

June 2022- venlafaxine for 5 or 6 weeks at 37.5 twice daily. Upped for one week to 75mg twice daily but caused panic attacks. Dropped back down to 37.5 twice daily. Panic attacks stopped. 

1 week- 62.5mg 1 week- 50mg 1 week- 37.5mg 1 week - 25mg 

July 22nd 2022 stopped 

ANTIDEPRESSANT FREE SINCE JULY 22ND 2022 

Taken propranalol since 2015. 80mg.

21/11/22 76mg. 28/11/22 72mg. 05/12/22 68mg. 19/12/22 64mg. 27/12/22 60mg. 02/01/23 56mg. 09/01/23 50mg. 16/01/23 47mg. 23/01/23 44mg. 29/01/23 40mg. 

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I do EMDR as part of my therapy which I’m doing at the same time as withdrawing from meds (see signature). If I’m honest it’s a double edged sword. While EMDR seems to help me process stuck emotions and trauma it can be brutal at the same time (really stirs up the pot and many difficult emotions come to the surface). So the positive is that I’m slowly resolving trauma while withdrawing instead of putting my life on hold while I withdraw. The negative (or difficult part) is that strong emotions can, at times, trigger or exacerbate my withdrawal symptoms. So in the short term sometimes the EMDR makes my withdrawals worse. Over all I feel i’’m getting a net benefit from EMDR and will continue with it. But I don’t do it every therapy session as that would be too much for me.

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated.
September 2022 Lurasidone just reinstated from 12mg back to 14 mg. 0830, 1300 and 2230 - 0.125mg Clonazepam; 1900 - 14 mg Lurasidone. Occasional CBD oil; nightly CBD:low dose THC oil.

Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3.

Health regimen: gentle runs when I can, breathwork...... Open to ideas!

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On 11/22/2022 at 3:49 PM, Thorin said:

I do EMDR as part of my therapy which I’m doing at the same time as withdrawing from meds (see signature). If I’m honest it’s a double edged sword. While EMDR seems to help me process stuck emotions and trauma it can be brutal at the same time (really stirs up the pot and many difficult emotions come to the surface). So the positive is that I’m slowly resolving trauma while withdrawing instead of putting my life on hold while I withdraw. The negative (or difficult part) is that strong emotions can, at times, trigger or exacerbate my withdrawal symptoms. So in the short term sometimes the EMDR makes my withdrawals worse. Over all I feel i’’m getting a net benefit from EMDR and will continue with it. But I don’t do it every therapy session as that would be too much for me.


Sounds like it's effective for you.  I agree it is heavy duty work, and it gets tedious having to put other things in life aside for a time to do it, but it still beats not getting it done.  Not that different to the taper itself in that regard.  Very challenging to one's patience, but still worth seeing through to stand clear of it one day.  Mightn't be next week or the week after, but all days come eventually.

 

Cheers

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own.  

Please do not seek tapering support via private message

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

Backdrop:  2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole

2015: olanzapine  10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg  by crude pill cutter

2018:  Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold

Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214  -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂

"Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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On 11/29/2022 at 1:39 PM, hayduke said:

Sounds like it's effective for you.  I agree it is heavy duty work, and it gets tedious having to put other things in life aside for a time to do it, but it still beats not getting it done.  Not that different to the taper itself in that regard.  Very challenging to one's patience, but still worth seeing through to stand clear of it one day.  Mightn't be next week or the week after, but all days come eventually.

I have found EMDR to be highly effective at breaking down the layers of trauma and processing things. Absolutely seems to work. I agree you get very sick of putting things aside but we're doing that with the withdrawals anyway! may as well do something positive while we're healing! I'm hoping that when the withdrawals subside and I'm off the meds I'm actually in a good place personally. It's just going to take a lot of time and money unfortunately. It's exhausting.

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated.
September 2022 Lurasidone just reinstated from 12mg back to 14 mg. 0830, 1300 and 2230 - 0.125mg Clonazepam; 1900 - 14 mg Lurasidone. Occasional CBD oil; nightly CBD:low dose THC oil.

Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3.

Health regimen: gentle runs when I can, breathwork...... Open to ideas!

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Yes, I've found EMDR useful in the past. I had it a couple of years ago while I was still on medication, and even then it helped.

 

I'm about to start it again next week to help deal with the lingering effects of withdrawal (I've been off drugs completely for around 11 months).

 

It's worth checking out the 'flash technique' too, which is still EMDR and can help just as much without bringing up too much trauma. My therapist used it on me just once and it all but erased a particularly bad memory. Astounding really.

Oct 2018 - Jun 2020: 10 mg per day generic Escitalopram in pill form.

Jul 2020 - Aug 2020: Switched to 9 mg per day of Cipralex drops to aid tapering.

Sep 2020 - Oct 2020: Taper to 8 mg.

Nov 2020 - Dec 2020: Taper to 7 mg.

Jan 2021 - Feb 2021: Taper to 6 mg.

Mar 2021 - Apr 2021: Taper to 5 mg.

May 2021 - Jun 2021: Taper to 4 mg.

Jul 2021 - Sep 2021: Taper to 3 mg.

Sep 2021 - Jan 2022: Taper to 2 mg.

Jan 2022: Stopped taking altogether.

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EMDR has helped me tremendously.  I have done lots of therapy, but I didn't know there could ever be relief from the trauma like EMDR has done.  Honestly, from a guy who did CBT 3 times a week for about a year plus tons of other therapy before that, I think it all pales in effectiveness compared to EMDR for a person like me with childhood trauma.   

2011-2015 tapered off 300MG of Effexor.  Back in the Paxil Progress days.  No rebound.   

2005-2021:  450 mg Bupropion XL

2021 Buporopion May 450mg/June 400mg/July 375mg/Aug 10th 360mg/

2021 Dec - 150mg IR, 3x day = 450mg Bup, Heritage manufacturer-yellow color pill. 

2022 May 3 - 3 x 150mg IR Bup, Avet(pharmacist said they merged with Heritage-orange color) -migraines

REINSTATED-BACK TO MY LAST STABLE DOSE/TIME RELEASE

2022 June 5 - switched back to 3 x 150mg XL one time per day= 450 mg total Bup

CROSSOVER FROM XL TO IR  2022 Aug 17 - final crossover to 150MG IR Apotex brand Bup, 3 x day for 450 mg.

CURRENT TAPER 2022 Aug 31 - 450MG to 412MG IR Bup//Sep. 28, 2022: 412mg to 375mg//Oct 21, 2022: 375mg Bup, crossover to 10% liquid//Oct 26, 2022: 375mg to 365 mg//Nov 21, 2022: 365mg to 327mg//Dec 27, 2022: 327 mg to 290 mg//Dec 31, 2022:  290mg to 262mg//Jan 28, 2022:  262mg to 190mg//

 

 

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4 hours ago, j1290 said:

EMDR has helped me tremendously.  I have done lots of therapy, but I didn't know there could ever be relief from the trauma like EMDR has done.  Honestly, from a guy who did CBT 3 times a week for about a year plus tons of other therapy before that, I think it all pales in effectiveness compared to EMDR for a person like me with childhood trauma.   

 

Great call.  Trauma doesn't really have much to do with cognition in the first place.  CBT can't get into the limbic system and unf**k trauma.  

CBT may have its uses, but attempting to treat root causes of C/PTSD with it is like taking aspirin for broken bones.  Treating symptoms is fine for first aid, but what's the use in saying "that'll do" there?

I found EMDR enabled me to retrieve previously overwhelming memories in way that I was then able to sit with them consciously, supported, and allow my body to let its stored tensions about it go, reliving the YUCK, reframe the experience in a way that affirmed I could now deal with it confidently and thoroughly, and pass it all through marked PROCESSED to long term memory.  And so it will no longer keep hitting the "fire alarm" system and triggering fight or flight.

The limbic system itself takes years to settle down from a lifetime of being hammered that way, but you get better at recognising triggers and responding appropriately instead of getting spun out.  And it does keep improving.  Given how bullsh*t the last few years of fires and pandemic and other noise have been, and I still keep improving, it must be working really well!  One can daydream of healing in peace time but for now healing is enough.

Cheers

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own.  

Please do not seek tapering support via private message

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

Backdrop:  2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole

2015: olanzapine  10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg  by crude pill cutter

2018:  Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold

Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214  -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂

"Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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@haydukewould you class your cPTSD as having been severe? Sounds like EMDR has been very helpful for you. I am immersing myself in the much that is my trauma for the first time at 43 (started therapy about 12 months ago). It’s really hard going but I do notice changes and improvements at times. I have learned that you have to ‘feel it to heal it’ which as I’m sure you know is extremely difficult and painful. Hoping my trauma therapy works as well for me as it seems to have for you and others.

cheers

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated.
September 2022 Lurasidone just reinstated from 12mg back to 14 mg. 0830, 1300 and 2230 - 0.125mg Clonazepam; 1900 - 14 mg Lurasidone. Occasional CBD oil; nightly CBD:low dose THC oil.

Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3.

Health regimen: gentle runs when I can, breathwork...... Open to ideas!

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18 hours ago, Thorin said:

@haydukewould you class your cPTSD as having been severe? Sounds like EMDR has been very helpful for you. I am immersing myself in the much that is my trauma for the first time at 43 (started therapy about 12 months ago). It’s really hard going but I do notice changes and improvements at times. I have learned that you have to ‘feel it to heal it’ which as I’m sure you know is extremely difficult and painful. Hoping my trauma therapy works as well for me as it seems to have for you and others.

cheers


I don't know how these things get classed, honestly.  I heard of someone yesterday who has clearly undergone more violence than I did, and has not really recovered.

There is pretty much always someone worse off than you if you look around.  

But I don't discount the severity and intensity of what I have suffered either.  It has still rendered parts of my life into uninvited ongoing conflict.

It is not a competition.

I completely acknowledge how vile and difficult it can be at times, even like having to walk through a sewer to get out.  Always remember with this sort of therapy you will never have to walk through that particular one again.

If this stuff was easy to process, it would never have been traumatic and repressed in the first place.  No doubt you will see how many non traumatised people will change the subject or walk away rather than witness it.  

Good on you for having the guts to dig your way out.  There are moments where you wonder if it will ever get better.  The more of this work I do, the quicker I seem to find my feet after excavating the garbage.  

Self care is the main thing then, and arranging support from others you trust and can rely on.

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own.  

Please do not seek tapering support via private message

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

Backdrop:  2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole

2015: olanzapine  10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg  by crude pill cutter

2018:  Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold

Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214  -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂

"Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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41 minutes ago, hayduke said:

But I don't discount the severity and intensity of what I have suffered either.  It has still rendered parts of my life into uninvited ongoing conflict.

It is not a competition.

Hey, many thanks for responding. I absolutely would not discount anyone’s suffering. It’s all relative and individual. Definitely not a competition. I guess my question (maybe not a fair question) was asked with the intent of seeing whether other people that felt their trauma/pain was severe were healing. Sometimes it’s possible to feel that you’re too damaged to heal and knowing that others are doing so gives you hope for yourself.

 

44 minutes ago, hayduke said:

completely acknowledge how vile and difficult it can be at times, even like having to walk through a sewer to get out.  Always remember with this sort of therapy you will never have to walk through that particular one again.

Walking through a sewer is an excellent analogy. At times it’s almost like the taint is sticking to you wherever you go and you feel you can’t escape it. Then you notice little improvements over time

 

46 minutes ago, hayduke said:

Good on you for having the guts to dig your way out.  There are moments where you wonder if it will ever get better.  The more of this work I do, the quicker I seem to find my feet after excavating the garbage.  

Thank you. And big respect to you for doing the work and being comfortable to talk about it with others also. I think making it ok to talk about this stuff is incredibly important on a number of levels. I’m also noticing a slight increase in resilience in that I don’t spiral quite as far and as fast and I come back from the spiral a little faster and easier than I used to. I put a lot of it down to an increased capacity to sit with discomfort.

 

49 minutes ago, hayduke said:

Self care is the main thing then, and arranging support from others you trust and can rely on.

I absolutely agree. The right support and looking after yourself are essential. Man, what a hard road we’ve been forced to walk. Kudos to anyone that decides to face it and try to heal. 

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated.
September 2022 Lurasidone just reinstated from 12mg back to 14 mg. 0830, 1300 and 2230 - 0.125mg Clonazepam; 1900 - 14 mg Lurasidone. Occasional CBD oil; nightly CBD:low dose THC oil.

Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3.

Health regimen: gentle runs when I can, breathwork...... Open to ideas!

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No sweat, it might well be a fair question.  I felt clarifying how I see it was the fair response 🙂

 

I don't think I would suggest there's a level of damage that would preclude healing.  The person I was talking about probably wouldn't have been given the tools to get there at this stage.

 

If you get those, it comes down to will and spirit, I suppose.  Not doing this is unthinkable to me.  It is hard to see when friends won't or can't take it on, but no one else can do it for them.  

 

As for those real pits of despair, should any come up, remember you are dealing with a younger nervous system's emotions and you can now integrate them.  

 

Also remember you've got clear of each past one too, so you can carry on till the next window opens.

 

Cheers

I am not a health professional - your actions are your own.  

Please do not seek tapering support via private message

My taper visualised as a graph   |   My intro thread

Backdrop:  2003 10mg olanzapine | 2004 2-3mg risperidone | end 2014 3wks aripiprazole

2015: olanzapine  10 -> 7½ -> 6⅔ -> 5mg  by crude pill cutter

2018:  Mar 5.00mg -> water titrated taper -> Aug2.5mg tablet and hold

Jan 2019 2.50mg water titration -> Jan 2020 1.214  -> Jan 2021 0.44 -> 2 Oct 0.205 ->3 Oct ZERO🥂

"Ask not what you can do for your country, but what your country did to you"  -- KMFDM

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3 minutes ago, hayduke said:

Not doing this is unthinkable to me.  It is hard to see when friends won't or can't take it on, but no one else can do it for them.  

Absolutely, I will never stop trying to better myself. For myself and my family. I also have friends that seem to make little progress but I don’t see them putting themselves out there either. Maybe they’re doing all they can though….

 

5 minutes ago, hayduke said:

As for those real pits of despair, should any come up, remember you are dealing with a younger nervous system's emotions and you can now integrate them.  

Yes that’s the hard part isn’t it. Letting yourself feel what the younger you felt. Then integrating it….. recognising that while you are you still, and you carry those younger parts around, you can heal those parts and become whole. But you have to feel it to heal it.

 

7 minutes ago, hayduke said:

Also remember you've got clear of each past one too, so you can carry on till the next window opens.

Also very true. Thanks mate

Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine
Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg
Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day
About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride 
About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day
About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine.
Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks).
Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated.
September 2022 Lurasidone just reinstated from 12mg back to 14 mg. 0830, 1300 and 2230 - 0.125mg Clonazepam; 1900 - 14 mg Lurasidone. Occasional CBD oil; nightly CBD:low dose THC oil.

Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3.

Health regimen: gentle runs when I can, breathwork...... Open to ideas!

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