Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

Alice1: Lexapro withdrawal


Alice1

Recommended Posts

Blondiee - did you really have pizza for lunch ? I'm totally afraid of pizza. I'm afraid my head will blow up if I eat one slice. In fact my family and I went to the local pizza joint and I had a dumb salad. I'll never go on meds again .. In fact I'm not sure they did anything for me. I remember the start up anxiety lasting for months. My doctor told me that was normal and prescribed Ativan as needed. I had a friend who went through benzo wd so I was reluctant to take any. Never did , but I remember thinking "holy cow I need to suffer though this so called start up anxiety to get the therapeutic effect of this crap" ..it lasted for like 5 months. I'm not even sure it wasn't a bad reaction my body just eventually dealt with. No way did i think ADs were like benzos otherwise i would have tapered longer. .Ya. Facebook sucks right now. Everybody all happy and everything. ..puke. No I'm sorry. I'm being neg. Stop it Alice. BUT when I see a tough guy actin all tough and stuff I wonder how tough he would be if he had some DR/DP going on. And if he could still go to work with it plus 20 other symptoms like my friend blondiee does ;) .. You've actually inspired me to suck it up and work doing something. Light retail at the moment. My friends jewelry store. Lol. I used to be a kick ass contractor .. Building cool stuff. Working with tools. Arr arr arrr. Now I sell jewelry :-/ Oh well. Sending healing to ya.

 

SJ. - ya , that's a sad one. If I didn't have my daughter this would be a lot easier for me. Meaning I might not feel like such a failure right now but we will heal and get through this. I just know it. Sending healing.

 

 

Cat - yes I'm definitely looking for that balance that is tolerable..I believe it will help me heal better. Not sure if any faster but better. Thanks for the prayers. Sending healing.

 

 

Well folks I went to work and went on a sloooow smooth walk today. After 2 weeks of giant waves pounding me into the dirt today seemed a little more baseline .. Usual morning - feeling like I'm going crazy, tapering into restlessness and anxiety by lunch , easing up to DR by dinner and wearing off by bedtime. So let's do it again shall we. do we have to ? Yes we do !! Lol. ACCEPTANCE !!

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

Link to comment

Hi Alice, I have been following you the whole time only that I have been too unwell to post. a bit better today feeling like to let you know that you have been very strong and you will be getting your health back just keep pushing each day like you did.

 

I survived all these years and still hang in all because I can't fail it completely for my son. Your love to your daughter will pull you out of the most difficult time even you feel impossible. I totally know how you feel about not being able to do much for her, but just being there for her is very important.

 

You are still a great dad with all your love even you can't do much as you wish to, and will be a greater dad when you get your health back after this experience.

 

Hugs,

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment
  • Mentor

 

Well folks I went to work and went on a sloooow smooth walk today. After 2 weeks of giant waves pounding me into the dirt today seemed a little more baseline .. Usual morning - feeling like I'm going crazy, tapering into restlessness and anxiety by lunch , easing up to DR by dinner and wearing off by bedtime. So let's do it again shall we. do we have to ? Yes we do !! Lol. ACCEPTANCE !!

love your attitude Alice

 

I hope I can offer hope, I am now about er, 7  mos out from a bad crash after a cold turkey and reinstatement and am now slowly slowly tapering and I'm having shorter and shorter periods of that morning anxiety and longer windows. wish I could say it happened quickly, BUT the good news is, at least for me, the progress towards better days has been pretty consistent. I've had some waves but nothing like the horrible stuff I went thru back last fall- not even close. I'm very grateful for that, and I pray that your journey is as consistently positive, or more so

 

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment

Thank you Lex. Yes our children give us strength indeed. Although a lot of my depression is caused by not knowing when I'm going to be back to full daddy mode. Ya know ? Thank you for your kind words.

 

Thank you for the good vibes and prayers Cat. I really glad you're seeing improvements. I really appreciate it.

 

 

At work again today. Morning was a tiny bit better than usual but my night has been very fearful. Really trying to implement the mental activity and physical activity on a low level and build from there. Slowly.

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

Link to comment

Hi Alice1 - how are you doing ? My mornings are usually rough and it typically gets better towards evenings .

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment

Hi blondiee

The last couple of days have been bad. Very disoriented and light headed .. I think it's DR but there's this difficulty focusing on anything thing going on. Lately I've been buying into my fears that this won't improve and that creates panic and despair. My rational mind says "relax , you're 8 months into CT withdrawal . Just hold on " but my irrational mind keeps saying "you CT'd you're doomed ".

 

I've read several stories saying that 9 months is when the serious stuff started , but when in the moment I have a hard time relaxing and going with the flow.

 

I don't want to be somebody who needs constant reassurance but I really really could use it right now. Especially from Alto and company.

 

How's blondiee doing ? I'm really glad we're friends on here. :)

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

Link to comment

I think you are doing well . You had few good days which means they will come back . It is not like you CT and didn't experience any Windows but you have and you should try to remember that . It will definitely come back . Sometimes reading stories can be not so encouraging . I find myself doing that and thinking I am doomed . But in reality it is so individualistic and also dependent on how you handle WD . Are you going to sit and do nothing and wait for it to pass ? Are you going to try to stay positive do light exercise focus on positives eat healthy ? I think a lot of what we do and our attitude affects WD duration . It does not mean that you need your rest and be in bed and get emotional sometimes . But we do have to work hard to be healed . So I think you are over analyzing and getting ahead of yourself. You can't change the future and by worrying about it nothing will change, you will just create more anxiety . Are you doing any journalizing ? Sometimes it helps to see these small differences .

Here is more encouragement - you have been on medication for only few years, you are healthy otherwise, you started working , you even chain sawed 2 days ago (whatever the term is ), you had windows of clarity ! And you have your daughter to be that rock for you .

 

Blondie is doing so so . Today back at work also can't concentrate on things, restless , dizzy and tired . I was googling benefits at work today to see how many days I can get just in case . So normally I would be freaking out omg can I make it to work tomorrow bla bla . But now I am thinking I will see what happens tomorrow . I will do my best . I also have dp - it is scary . Try reading Shep's thread she had it very bad. Her writing is inspiration and encouraging . I had that pizza on Friday it was a big no no . Major headache the whole weekend, but better today . Back to the salads .

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
Link to comment

Ahhhh. Restless and dizzy. My two most pronounced symptoms. DR is always in there too. It's been awhile since I had a window. About 16 days. By tomorrow it will be the longest window drought of my experience which makes me nervous. Speaking of nervous ,I'm experiencing some internal shaking lately. It's almost like every nerve in my body is agitated. It's almost like my nerves are "charged up" with excess energy. I'm not sure if it's restlessness or hypersensitivity. Or both. It started two weeks ago around the chainsaw event. In fact this whole thing escalated big time after the chainsaw event. 4 days ago I thought this wave was dying down back to my baseline. Then I had an argument with my father. We argued for 20-30 minutes. Then this wave came back again. I'm still walking but only 15 minutes twice a day. Gentle gentle walking. Like a old man. My neighbors all know I'm sick but they don't know what from. No ask no tell. Let them guess. I just don't have it in me to stay in bed all day. I just can't do it. After reading CGs checklist I'm thinking I have to sedate my nervous system by locking myself up in my dark room for a year. Can't do it. Just can't. I'll go crazy. First year is the worst ? I guess. I've read so many stories from people who recovered or are recovering saying after 13-14 months they saw small progresses. This gives me the will to keep going and to plod along...

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

Link to comment

Hi Alice, You mentioned in your initial post that you had burning. How is that going ?

 

Wish you faster healing and another window soon!

 

Lex

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Hey Lex ,

Hope you're hanging in there buddy. My symptoms change and morph everyday . However I haven't noticed the burning in a while , but wouldn't be surprised if I have it tomorrow . You know what I mean ? I do get aches and pains though.One day I'll be dizzy and depersonalized , then the next i'll have anxiety and restlessness .. Today I was ZONED OUT beyond belief , but only for the morning . That slowly turned into more of a despaired anxiety feeling . Now I'm in bed watching the Yankee game with a heavy head and shaky legs. Thank you for the window wish. I need one bad. Wishing you and everybody well ..

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi Alice1 -

 

How are you doing these days?

 

SJ

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

Link to comment

Hello everybody. I was on lexapro 20mg for 20 months due to a high stress situation. after months of therapy for stress management I decided to come off lexapro as I felt I had dealt with the issues. Both my therapist and doctor came up with a 6 week taper method . I am now 6 1/2 months off and I am suffering dearly with severe anxiety , fear , depression , and a very odd depersonalized state , plus other symptoms. I know now I tapered way too fast and I am very much past the window for reinstatement. I've had to quit work and can barely function at all. I have noticed that everyday seems like it's getting worse. I used to get windows that were half of a day long , but those have stopped two weeks ago. I'm looking for hope and encouragement as I have a little girl who needs her daddy to be alive. I fear that I'm going to die or become severely disabled for EVER. I'm trying to accept that this will take a very long time to heal from , but I am very very scared that I'll never be the same. I don't take any other drugs , but I do use an ecig with only 1 mg of nicotine. which is about 5% of a regular cigarette. Is it normal to get worse after 6 months off ? Will it get even more worse later ? Does it reach a peak and then get better ? I am very grateful for this site. I only wish I found it before I chose to come off.

Alice

Yes this happens often -  It varies from person to person - When I came off Zoloft completely I wasn't too bad - could cope with symptoms - but about 5 or 6 months later all hell broke loose - and have been on a ride with Waves and Windows - more Waves than Windows -  now I am off 4 years - I always had the same WDs - coping as best I could - but since I reached 3.5 years my symptoms have gotten worse.....am in a wave now for months and months - save a flicker of a Window once in a while....

 

There are some like me Alice - but not everyone - as I said we are all different - you may be  in these WDs in the  fast lane, medium lane or slow lane - I do hope yours is resolved much sooner than later.

 

But this is what we are here for to encourage and give hope - because in the end all this WILL pass - 

 

Please keep us informed -  I am sorry for your suffering -  and pray for all who are xxx

 

Lee (f)

xxx

 

If happy little bluebirds fly

Beyond the rainbow

So can....you.....and......I

 

xxxx

Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules

Started tapering December 3, 2011,

Off Zoloft May 17, 2013

While tapering WDS were tolerable

Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off

even worse after 18 months off

Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now.

 

 

 

Link to comment

My friends ,I feel like I've lost this battle. I feel like there is no hope at all for me. I am so close to giving up that I am crying writing this. I'm doing everything possible to help this along but everyday it just keeps getting harder and harder. I don't really know how I am going to keep going on this path. The thing that sickens me is that there are bad bad people out there. Murderers , child abusers , animal abusers , rapist , racists , terrorist , all of which are probably able to live their lives without terrible suffering. Then there's me. A gentleman , a father , who loves people , who loves his animals , who loves and absolutely cherishes his daughter , who would never ever hurt anything or anyone , who is suffering because of a drug that my doctor gave me and took me off of.

 

I can't tell if I'm getting worse or just in a wave. I get tolerable days once a week and most nights are still better than mornings and afternoons. Symptoms still change on a daily basis , even throughout the day. I'm attempting to work full time at a low stress location . I am exercising by walking 30 a day. I'm eating well and sleeping well.

 

I feel so so disconnected with my family and the world I cherished so much. I feel like I don't belong. I feel like the world is passing me by.

 

The anxiety and Akathisia have returned in full force. Making me truly believe I'm getting worse. At 9 months off I thought I should be seeing some shred of improvement. I can look back 3 months and see a couple small things that have diminished , but anxiety and Akathisia were part of that list and they're back.

 

I got caught in the middle of a relationship desupt , like I was a judge or referee. It really stressed me out. Maybe that is what started this terrible wave.

 

Maybe im doing too much in the way of working and exercise. But I can't stay home. I get so suicidal. Even more than I am now.

 

Friends , I'm so tired. I'm so sad. I'm so scared I really hope I can hold on.

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

Link to comment

Hold on, Alice1! We are here with you.

 

We all have experienced what you are feeling now. Heck, I experienced it just yesterday - which sucked because the day before yesterday (Saturday) was so good as to nearly have been normal.

 

And I am right with you on the thoughts about why bad people seem to thrive and good people suffer. In fact, I did a lot of theological reading about that last week. I can post some links if you like.

 

But the bottom line is this - in this world, we will have trouble; but take heart - Jesus has overcome the world.

 

Prayer walks have been my main tool. And yes, I vent at God sometimes during those walks. He can take our questions; we just need to treat Him with reverence and respect, and He is faithful to hear our complaints.

 

Remember this - our minds right now are not our own. Yes, that is a crappy thought - but it is also comforting in that we can be certain in the knowledge that bad chemicals did this to us, we did not do this to ourselves.

 

Take captive every thought. Subject them to God and He will help you to see that they are not your thoughts, but neuro-emotions.

 

Keep working your tools.

 

Are you using any supplements? Let's take a look at that and see what might be tweakable.

 

Allow me to pray right now for you - even through my own tears - tears for you and me and all of us...

 

Dear Lord God - our friend, Your child, Alice1 is struggling. He is in a battle that You promise to fight for him - a battle against the lies of an enemy who is using the after-effects of medications that were sold to us on lies. Strengthen Alice1 with Your truth - the truth that You love us and care for us and have overcome the world. Holy Spirit, abide in him and give him Your perfect peace, the peace that surpasses all understanding. Wrap Alice1 in Your righteousness for Jesus' sake. Make of him a testimony of Your faithfulness to us. Comfort him, counsel him, and guide him. We ask these gifts, these blessings, in Jesus' mighty name. Amen!

 

SJ

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

Link to comment

Alice1, this too will pass. Even as you go through these awful symptoms, your brain and body are healing. Please trust that process. Remember how much your daughter and other loved ones need you.  They are here for you, and you are here for them.

You will emerge from this a warrior, stronger and better than ever before, I am sure of it.  There is a purpose in all of this--we just can't see it yet.

Read success stories, read inspirational books, watch uplifting videos. We see and experience only a small range of the immense energy of the universe. It is waiting for us, to be at our service. Trust that. Tune into that. 

The collective love and support of everyone on this site is behind you.

Drugfree Prof

Psychologist and Psychotherapist

Prozac 20 mg for approx 3 months during 2000, withdrew, no w/d sx

Prozac 10 - 30 mg Jan. 2008 - Dec. 2014

Ritalin 30-40 mg Jan. 2008 - Mar. 2015

W/d sx from Prozac started around 3 months after cessation--crying spells, depressed mood, lethargy; resolved in 8 - 12 mos. post cessation

Used and continue to use a TON of alternative methods--meditation, mindfulness, nutrition. supplements, exercise, etc.

Link to comment

Alice1 I understand how you feel. This is so hard but you can do it.

It's 9 months for me today off antidepressants and xanax but have taken 8 xanax within those 9 months. As time goes on you would think things would get better and when it doesn't it is really hard and confusing (at least for me it is). You know I keep talking about going back on medicine.

You have a beautiful daughter that needs you. I pray we all get through this really soon, please God!

In June 2014 I was taking Celexa for 2 days, 25 mg zoloft 8 weeks, 10 mg Paxil 3 months and 10 mg Lexapro 1 month tapered off in 2 wks.. Was on a total of 6 months had side effects to them all. Went off and had my first panic attack a month later in January 2015. In March 2015 was having stomach issues and was put on Xanax for a week Dr. Said it was anxiety. End of that week woke up heart racing so was put back on Lexapro 5 MG and the next night is when my sleep got messed up. Literally not sleeping

Was it the Xanax or lexapro?? Went off sleep on and off and taking Xanax on and off. The end of April 2015 tried Buspar for 2 days and had side effects and could not sleep at all. Middle of May 2015 went on Ambien and lexapro again. Inner vibration started. Switched to paxil. Went off Ambien in June 2015 and off Paxil July 2015. October 2015 got worse went of zoloft 12.5 mg through December 2015. I was tolerating what I was going through January and February 2016. Then March got worse with horrible panic. Tried hypnotherapy in May 2016 a couple times couldn't Relax when she started counting backwards it freaked me out. Started not sleeping again in May. Went back on Xanax for 2 months May-July 2016. Tried liquid Prozac 5 mg then 10 mg side effects July - August then switched Zoloft 12.5 mg August - September 2016. Been off antidepressants since September 5, 2016. Been off Xanax since July 28, 2016, but I have taken it 8 other times since then through May 2017. Have symptoms going on with agoraphobia. Is this withdrawal??

May 2017 feeling horrible and more intense symptoms.

Link to comment

Give us a check in, Alice1.

 

SJ

 

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

Link to comment
  • Mentor

thinking of you Alice1

 

SJ, I'm not a very religious person, but that prayer you wrote brought me to tears, it's really powerful and beautiful

 

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment
  • ChessieCat changed the title to Alice1: Lexapro withdrawal

During the worst waves I repeat a couple things to myself that I've read. 

 

"When you are having a bad spell, healing is still going on. People typically find that after a bad spell, symptoms improve and often go away forever. Try to remember this when times are hard."

&
"When experiencing intense mental symptoms: Dp/Dr, racing thoughts, depression and fear your brain is actively upregulating at that time! So I guess, bring on the mental symptoms!"

 

We're here for you. Hang in there friend!

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

Link to comment
  • Mentor
On 6/8/2017 at 7:40 AM, ShakeyJerr said:

Give us a check in, Alice1.

 

SJ

 

 

 

It looks like Alice1 was on the forum 11 hrs ago (if you hover over a member's name it shows the last time they were here) so I'm hoping that means he's ok and is just not feeling up to posting.

I know when I'm feeling bad, I don't want to post about it, it sometimes just makes you feel worse.

 

Alice1, we're here for you. hang in there, you're going to get thru this. we all know how very tough it is.

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment

Hi everybody .

Sorry for not posting .Im now realizing that after a depressing post I left that it would raise concern about my wellbeing , but I am truly grateful for you folks being concerned about me..it means a lot .. 

I wish I could say my situation is a little better .. my anxiety has gone through the roof , I mean through the roof .. the fear and intense physical anxiety has me so worried .. at 9 months off I thought I would be a little better or at least the same as 8 or 7 months off .. it has gotten worse and im literally petrified that im going to lose this battle .. 

 

im so so afraid that im ruined forever ..I wish someone would say " don't worry , I was at my worst 9 months off but now at 15 months I see improvement"  or something to that degree..

 

im working a full time job and exercising everyday , but things seem to be getting tougher and tougher no matter what I do ..

 

also I am extremely afraid my vaping (ecig) is doing this .. Im afraid to stop ecig because that will make wd worse but im also afraid to continue ..then im afraid that being afraid will make me worse and keep me stuck .. I truly feel like I cant will at all ...

 

everybody has said not to quit ecig .the benzo sites say don't quit , even the aston manual says the same , but I cant seem to let it be..

 

I miss my life so much .. I miss playing with my daughter and doing fun things.. I just feel like its gone forever ...

I try to keep positive because I don't want to self perpetuate things but everyday I break down with doubt ..

 

if this fear and anxiety would just ease up maybe I could keep the hope .. 

 

anyway , thanks for the concern friends ..

 

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

Link to comment

We're with you, man. You are going to get through this. You are a building, a tower, undergoing reconstruction all while regular business is going on inside. So right now, some of your office spaces, stairwells, and elevators are being shut down for repairs, while other such things are being overloaded to compensate. But this will pass. As each new office -- your synapses -- finish construction (up-regulate), you will see improvement.

 

Just keep working your tools - prayer, breathing, any supplement routine you have - and try to put yourself on a regular schedule of when you go to bed, when you get up, and what things you do at what times and intervals. Give yourself a routine.

 

I don't recall - are you doing any supplements?

 

In any case, you are in my prayers every day. Hang in there, buddy.

 

SJ

 

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

Link to comment
  • Mentor
10 hours ago, Alice1 said:

.then im afraid that being afraid will make me worse and keep me stuck .. I truly feel like I cant will at all ...

 

 

I can relate to this so much. I still have a fair amount of anxiety and fear that seems to permeate my thoughts no matter how hard I try to keep them out.

I *think* this is when the Claire weeks method of acknowledge, accept and float is supposed to be used (something I still find very hard to do)

you just say, ok I'm feeling anxious/fearful, that's ok, it's just a feeling, it doesn't mean anything (don't- or try hard not to- give the feeling any power, it's just a feeling, it's not a fact, it just means for this moment, you are feeling fearful; feelings change, at any time, you may start to feel differently)

the feelings of anxiety are caused by the chemicals in our brains, and not by any real threat, so try to remind yourself of that.

I know so well how hard this is!
when I am in this state, I too, doubt that I can hold on, but reminding yourself that there's nothing truly wrong going on right now, it's just a chemical reaction in our brains as they heal, can help you to distance yourself from that feeling. At least, that's the hope, anyway.

Or as some people here do, tell yourself something like, OH there's that anxious feeling again. That means my brain is healing from the withdrawal. it's nothing to worry about, nothing to fear, it's  my body doing what it needs to do to get better.

 

It may be that you have to repeat this to yourself many many times over and over again.

 

it's hard to know when to stay positive, and when to accept and float, and when to try to distract yourself.

I think we just need to try out different coping methods til we find the one that works.

 

believe that you will feel better soon, and watch for even tiny signs that things are improving.

 

we're going to get thru this! we will write our success stories and celebrate, just as so many others before us have!!

hold on, you're almost there.

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
Link to comment

Hi Alice,

 

im so sorry it's still so tough for you being off 9 months! I know how hard it is to think positively when things got worse after feeling a bit better! This wave and window pattern is truly tricking our brains. 

 

Being able to work full time CT this poison, I would like you to know you are actually doing not that bad. I'm on my 5th year  tapering Lexapro and haven't been working for a quite long time.

 

thinking how much you have gone through and came so far, you will see lights again. it's so hard to think long, just focusing  on pushing through each day like you did will make it less desparate.

 

Hugs,

lex

 

 

Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

Link to comment

Alice,

 

I know exactly how you feel.  Your post could have been written by me.  I just want you to know that you're not alone and you will survive this.  Take a deep breath and take it second by second.  You are strong and courageous.  Just that fact that you're able to work shows the strength of your character.  I can barely take care of my children (3 & 5).  I call it a success if I manage to drive them to school, then curl up into a ball (hiding under the covers) until I have to pick them up.  Someone wise told me to give my permission to breakdown, but also acknowledge every minute thing I accomplish.

 

Praying for strength, endurance and profound recovery.

 

~ Trying

Mid 2014 - June 2016 (~ 2.5 yrs): sertraline 75mg. Under advice of my Pysch NP, weaned off in 1 month

Sept 2017 - Feb 2017 (6 months): Latuda (dose 20mg up to 80mg). Under advice of Psych NP, weaned off in 6 weeks (Jan - mid Feb). Tirtated down 20mg every 2 weeks.

Nov 2017 - Feb 2017 (3 months): lamictal 100mg. Abruptly taken off. This was the "wean": 100mg, 50mg, then off

Feb 2017: sertraline 150mg for 1 week to bring me out of a severe suicidal depression. Abruptly stopped due to serotonin syndrome. Tried to reinstate 50mg a week later, but the serotonin syndrome symptoms came back. Not possible to reinstate sertraline.

March 2017: remeron 7.5mg. Took one dose that knocked me out for two days. Refused to take it again

February 2017 - March 2017: Ativan 1mg. Took 5 pills total spread out over the course of 3 weeks. No longer taking it.

6/16/18 - 6/26: celexa 1.25mg

6/27/18 - 6/29: celexa 2.5mg, 6/29 had burning and agitation within 30min of dose

6/30/18 - present: celexa 1.25mg

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hey Alice - I'm making up a big triple batch of my family recipe Cincinnati Chili.  So naturally, I'm thinking of you.

 

I'm sorry to hear that things have been so hard for you lately.  I haven't had time to read up what is happening for you, I've just seen a few things around that sound rough for you.

 

I had my first "consequence free" pizza this week!  It's been years since it hasn't hurt me.  It was GF, but - it's usually the cheese I fear.  Well, after a rough day I said, "I WANT PIZZA!" so we did, and - I didn't get sick!

 

So it does get better.  I'd invite you over for Cincy Chili, but I'm guessing you're not ready for it.  I might actually get to have real cheese on it this time!

 

Take care, breathe, and I hope you see the sun today.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hey Alice - just trying to catch up:

 

Quote

Meditation seems to be best at night before bed as when I meditate in the afternoon I can literally feel the heat from hell rushing through my senses. 

 

I was just reading about melatonin and meditation, and apparently meditation increases melatonin.  This particular talk said that it was best to meditate at dawn or dusk, as that was when your melatonin was naturally highest, and would make a natural positive feedback loop.  Melatonin making meditation easier, while meditating produces more melatonin.  

 

Of course - in withdrawal, all "normal cycle" bets are all off.  Blame it on cortisol.

 

Quote

Two weeks ago I started getting a little more active . I'm working every day (gently) and walking for 45 minutes . Last Monday I worked for 4 hours (light constuction / wood framing) then came home and noticed a medium sized tree fell over . So I grabbed my chainsaw and cut it up . Really not a big deal right. Then went for my 45 minute walk. Next day I get slammed by a titalwave. 

 

This is such a classic withdrawal story!  You get a little stamina, a little momentum, and it's been so long since you were productive that you thought:  Let's do it!

 

And then you pay the price.  Unfortunately, it doesn't take much to bring on a wave.

 

I'll give you a little hope.  You wrote:

Quote

I keep thinking about my little girl and how her daddy is being ripped apart by all this

 

While it's horrible to hear about daddy being ripped apart - the first part of that, "I keep thinking about my little girl," tells me that you are fully rehumanized.  You are no longer an empty, emotionless drug zombie.  You have feelings, and while they may be sad, depressing, or hard (for some reason, the difficult emotions return first) - you are having feelings and compassion and caring for your child.

 

This is a gift, and a sure sign of healing.

 

Quote

I know my taper was stupid and I should've reinstated 7 months ago but it is what it is and I'm desperate for a dose of hop

 

It is still a possibility you might consider trying.  Even if you had reinstated when you first got here - you might have prevented some of this angst.

 

I know it is late, but we have had successful reinstatements 10 months, 1 year out.  Especially with the stronger drugs like Lexapro.

 

Quote

But what about people who have only taken drugs for 2 years ? Is it still 3-5 years ? A lot of people have told me that since I was only on it for 20 months that somehow I'll recover faster.

 

There's mixed evidence on this.

 

In general, the longer you were on it, the harder it is to come off.  

 

But - there's a thing that happens in homeostasis - between 3 weeks and 6 months - where the drug gets its hooks in, and makes its neurotransmitter adjustments.  The drugs are not natural - to recover from these changes naturally take longer.  The body can only heal at the pace it can heal.

 

So - give thanks that you weren't drugged for 5, 10 years.  Honestly, if you had been - well.  Give thanks that you have less to recover from.

 

You might be helped by some of @alexjuice's tips here:

Six Mistakes I've Made In Withdrawal

 

Well, hubby is calling from the next room - I'll catch up some more later!

 

I hope you see the sun today!

 

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hey Alice - hang in there.

"Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna

 

Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again.

 

My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices.

 

A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia.   CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013.   Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine).     Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 -  Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years  on Lithium).  Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made.


The tedious thread (my intro):  JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium

The happy thread (my success story):  JanCarol - Undiagnosed  Off all bipolar drugs

My own blog:  https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/

 

 

I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016!

Link to comment

Hi Alice1 -

 

I just wanted to give you a shout out here on Father's Day! You are an awesome dad, and you are doing the right thing for your daughter. You are recovering - no matter what it may feel like at any given moment. Your healing is moving along and you are going to be an even better daddy for going through it! Be well, my friend!

 

SJ

 

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

Link to comment

JS

Thank you brother , hope you had a decent dads day too..

 

JC

I almost did me a 3 way last week ..  I figured it couldn't kill me , but then realized it might've ..lol

 

Lex

Thank you brother , when we reach the other side i'm buying you a beer ..

 

Waiting

Thank you for the encouragement , the PM you sent me helps a lot .

 

H2H

We will celebrate all night long when we finally write our stories ..

 

TTHO

Hang on sister , Having kids makes this so much more difficult ..Thank you for your kind words ..

 

 

 

Thank you everybody for your kind words of encouragement .. It means so so much ..

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

HI everybody

I have received PMs from some of you that are concerned about me .. I really appreciate it .. Im not well at all . At 10 months off I feel as im doomed forever .. The TERROR , severe anxiety , depersonalization , derealization , severe dizziness , and severe depression are absolutely eating me alive .. My thoughts are torturing me as well ..I am so afraid that im never going to be well again which is leading me to SI .. I cant abandon my daughter I just cantbut how the heck am I supposed to live like this ..

 

However , on 7-1 I had a good night with good sleep .. on 7-3 I had a very very tolerable day with good sleep .  on 7-5 I had a night with symptoms but with absolutely no despair ..

 

so there are small signs of improvement but I just don't see anybody suffering the way I am .. 

 

I stayed home today because im so bad with dizziness and nerve pain . now I feel totally guilty and feel like ive failed ..

Im so so afraid im going to lose this battle .. 

 

although my days are completely filled with despair I am still hopeful that this is just wd and with time I will recover .. 

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

Link to comment

Hang in there, bro. I'm praying for you!

 

You are in a wave. Ride it out. Float through it. I have been reading Claire Weekes' book "Hope and Help For Your Nerves" and it is helping immensely. I recommend it (with the caveat that she is so good at describing anxiety symptoms that you must never stop reading in the middle of a chapter when she is describing things - you must read through the chapter to her solutions and encouragement).

 

What else are you doing to help manage your symptoms? Practicing your mindful breathing? Walking? Praying? Any supplements?

 

Each on of us here have felt like you are feeling. We're here to help.

 

SJ

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

Link to comment

A. I'm glad you posted. You will receive lots of support and encouragement here. You have to keep reminding yourself that this is temporary and many before you have been through this exact same experience. 

 

so there are small signs of improvement but I just don't see anybody suffering the way I am ...

 

I don't see that as being true and it would pay you to keep in touch if you are struggling. It often feels like when we are in the midst of a struggle that no one understands but the truth is that we do: we have either been through it or are still going through it and therefore totally understand. I know you will get through this, A and come out the other side into the light. Just hang on.

 

Your negative thoughts are getting to you. You will win this battle.

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

Link to comment

So my negative thought could make me feel worse ? This is a really tough challenge as I try to float through my symptoms per Claire weekes but often fail everyday .

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

Link to comment
5 minutes ago, Alice1 said:

So my negative thought could make me feel worse ? This is a really tough challenge as I try to float through my symptoms per Claire weekes but often fail everyday .

 

I actually started a new thread on this subject. I have some links in there too that you might find helpful:

 

SJ

Main thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/14472-shakeyjerr-say-hello/

History: Prozac & Lithium from 1999 to 2003. Ended up back on after 4 months because taking a beta-blocker caused immediate depression (just 2 doses - turned out I didn't even need it; I had no other withdrawal symptoms - I might have ended up med and withdrawal-free otherwise :(). - Switched to Effexor (75mg 3/day) and Seroquel (50mg 3/day) in 2010. - Did a self-taper during 2016. - Developed Discontinuation Syndrome 02/17.

Supplements: Magnesium-Glycinate 400mg split into 4 100mg doses throughout the day. Vitamin C 500mg - once per day. Fish Oil 1360 mg (950 mg Active Omega-3) - twice per day.

I'm not a doctor. I use the internet, experience, and trial & error. Seek medical advice if necessary.

Link to comment

Im so dizzy today . Dizziness with panic ..Im also incredibly guilty feeling from staying home from work .. Fell like im failing my daughter ..

 

I love my little girl so much , so so much . I ABSOLUTLY HAVE TO GET BETTER !!!!!!!!!

December 2014 - Lexapro 20 mg

August 2016 Med free (6 week taper)

December 22 2021  added Abilify 5mg / Ativan .5mg / Depakote ER 1000mg

Discontinued Abilify 5mg on 12-30-21---accidental dose on 1-13-22 (looks like Ativan)

Ativan PRN/Discontinued 1-14-22

Only drug is Depakote ER 1000mg ( looking to taper slow and safe for once )

3/24/22 Depakote 625mg 

Propranolol 20-40mg  PRN

Link to comment

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy