Alice1: Lexapro withdrawal

[bheb]

16 minutes ago, Alice1 said:

Its critical to learn surrender and not fear symptoms.

 

What's the best approach you found for this? Any particular exercises/distractions/frame of mind/mantras?

[Alice1]

1 hour ago, bheb said:

 

What's the best approach you found for this? Any particular exercises/distractions/frame of mind/mantras?

I have a friend on here who’s a veteran, and has taught me how to NOT give my symptoms “fearful attention” , meaning, you have to “learn” how to not pay attention to symptoms with fear.  Fear only drives the symptoms and strengthens neural pathways keeping them strong and present. Such things as surrender or allowing the symptoms to be present without questioning them, or fretting about them reverses those pathways. This combined with rest, exercise (both mental and physical) and time WILL reduce and eliminate symptoms.. In time ..  I personally directed my attention towards other things such as my hobbies and friends and family. I even added a new passion in there and I rapidly made progress.  I am starting from acute again because of my kidney stone so keep in mind that while you practice ( and I do mean practice) this be very cautious and careful with your CNS.  

[Krisseyb]

@bheb Have you tried any meditating apps? I use one called Headspace. I have been doing the "Anxiety" sessions. They seem to REALLY help me a lot....they start very basic then work up from there. When I am laying in bed at night and I started getting "scared" that I can't sleep....I do the Headspace techniques that I have learned...and often I can fall right back asleep. 

Might be worth a try? I have never meditated in my life until 9/2020....did it consistently until Christmas. Then things got busy and I haven't totally got back on track. Oops!  🙃

[Alice1]

On 1/11/2021 at 9:20 PM, brassmonkey said:

This means that anything, drinking alcohol, OTC medications, stress and the like can set off a wave.

@brassmonkey  One of my cars runs on Methanol. At 2,500 rpm it gets injected in the motor and when the windows are down sometimes you can smell it in the exhaust.  That sweet racing smell. What’s your opinion on that ?  Surely that’s not the same as drinking alcohol right ?  

[brassmonkey]

Only if you get enough to make you lightheaded, but I wouldn't worry about it otherwise.

[Heath]

On 1/12/2021 at 4:19 PM, Alice1 said:

I have a friend on here who’s a veteran, and has taught me how to NOT give my symptoms “fearful attention” , meaning, you have to “learn” how to not pay attention to symptoms with fear.  Fear only drives the symptoms and strengthens neural pathways keeping them strong and present. Such things as surrender or allowing the symptoms to be present without questioning them, or fretting about them reverses those pathways. This combined with rest, exercise (both mental and physical) and time WILL reduce and eliminate symptoms.. In time ..  I personally directed my attention towards other things such as my hobbies and friends and family. I even added a new passion in there and I rapidly made progress.  I am starting from acute again because of my kidney stone so keep in mind that while you practice ( and I do mean practice) this be very cautious and careful with your CNS.  

@Alice1 I once read somewhere on dealing those pesky thoughts and I think dr Claire weeks said it not sure ! Acknowledge, Accept, Float. It’s kinda like when you are working and radio is on   You hear the songs but you don’t attach to them you just let the radio play and keep working.  The same can be applied to these thoughts just let them float on by. I have done this a few times in waves and it is difficult. It does take practice but unfortunately the only time you can practice is in a wave. I also do as you and it helps a lot! Working, building, making, repairing, troubleshooting, staying busy. These things you can look back on and see accomplishment which  gives you a good feeling. Also doing things with friends and family has always helped me. Hang in there! 

[Heath]

3 hours ago, Alice1 said:

@brassmonkey  One of my cars runs on Methanol. At 2,500 rpm it gets injected in the motor and when the windows are down sometimes you can smell it in the exhaust.  That sweet racing smell. What’s your opinion on that ?  Surely that’s not the same as drinking alcohol right ?  

I am not a big racer but I do relate!!  iam a mechanic by trade - engines, fuel systems etc. Love em ! 😁

[bheb]

On 1/14/2021 at 4:16 PM, Krisseyb said:

@bheb Have you tried any meditating apps? I use one called Headspace. I have been doing the "Anxiety" sessions. They seem to REALLY help me a lot....they start very basic then work up from there. When I am laying in bed at night and I started getting "scared" that I can't sleep....I do the Headspace techniques that I have learned...and often I can fall right back asleep. 

Might be worth a try? I have never meditated in my life until 9/2020....did it consistently until Christmas. Then things got busy and I haven't totally got back on track. Oops!  🙃

i havent tried out that app! I’ll look into it thanks!

 

i find meditating super hard with akathisia but sometimes it works!

[Yesyes123]

Hey Alice1 how are you doing today?

[Alice1]

On 1/18/2021 at 8:43 PM, Yesyes123 said:

Hey Alice1 how are you doing today?

It’s peaking on me.  I don’t know how much more it’s going to peak but it’s bad.  It’s worse for me because I absolutely have to go to work everyday.  I wish I could stay home, but quite honestly, I think staying at home would be 10 times worse. So I have to endure this. I’ve read other setback stories that are similar. Most of them had to endure it for a good bit of time. I’m trying to stay positive as best as I can, but we all know that in the grips of Akathisia we get pounded by fear and negativity. It’s nice to have all the top people in this community give you reassurance.  I talked to Baylissa yesterday and that was nice.  I’m only one month out so I got some distance to go.  

[Yesyes123]

Thanks for the response. What are you one month out of? I thought you quit Lexapro in 2016?

[Alice1]

3 minutes ago, Yesyes123 said:

Thanks for the response. What are you one month out of? I thought you quit Lexapro in 2016?

I did.  I am 4.5 years out from a CT. I healed about 70-80% but then I had a kidney stone last month. It sent me back to hell.  

[Yesyes123]

Have you considered reinstating 0.1mg Lexapro? It could help you immensely and then you taper that off extremely slowly

[Alice1]

16 minutes ago, Yesyes123 said:

Have you considered reinstating 0.1mg Lexapro? It could help you immensely and then you taper that off extremely slowly

No thank you. I appreciate your advice. 

[Yesyes123]

I understand how awful it is to have these drugs in our system. You are a very strong person for enduring this process. Be sure that life will bring you infinite joy when you're done with this. Be well. If you need to talk feel free to pm me.

[Alice1]

2 hours ago, Yesyes123 said:

I understand how awful it is to have these drugs in our system. You are a very strong person for enduring this process. Be sure that life will bring you infinite joy when you're done with this. Be well. If you need to talk feel free to pm me.

Thank you for your kind words.  I’ll be fine. I healed once. I can do it again.  
Thanks again.  

[Erell]

7 hours ago, Alice1 said:

 I healed once. I can do it again.  

And you have all my support on this path ❤

[Jennings]

Hey Alice, how are you doing?

[Alice1]

23 hours ago, Jennings said:

Hey Alice, how are you doing?

I’m hanging in there. This is the biggest wave of my whole 4.5 year withdrawal.  I’m 6 weeks out.  That kidney stone really set me back a ton. I had a really severe wave 1.5 years ago from Clorox bleach fumes and stress. My point is to coddle that CNS, and when you feel better don’t piss it off.   

[Jennings]

Damn dude, hang in there.  I’m sending hugs, you got this.

[Alice1]

On 1/14/2021 at 4:16 PM, Krisseyb said:

@bheb Have you tried any meditating apps? I use one called Headspace. I have been doing the "Anxiety" sessions. They seem to REALLY help me a lot....they start very basic then work up from there. When I am laying in bed at night and I started getting "scared" that I can't sleep....I do the Headspace techniques that I have learned...and often I can fall right back asleep. 

Might be worth a try? I have never meditated in my life until 9/2020....did it consistently until Christmas. Then things got busy and I haven't totally got back on track. Oops!  🙃

Yes I meditate. It’s important to calm the nervous system down, but the most powerful thing one can do in this situation is to reduce stress and increase rest. I think that’s why you see some people struggling years and years.  Too much stress. Chemical, physical, and emotional.   

[Alice1]

14 hours ago, Jennings said:

Damn dude, hang in there.  I’m sending hugs, you got this.

Thank you,  yes I will get through it.  

[Alice1]

On 1/21/2021 at 5:49 AM, Erell said:

And you have all my support on this path ❤

Thank you for your kind words. 

[Alice1]

@brassmonkey Hey Tom, 

Thanks again for the information on my setback from my kidney stone procedure. I’m 7 weeks into this acute wave.  When I say acute I mean ACUTE !!!  It’s worse than any wave or level of withdrawal I’ve ever experienced. Akathisia has sky rocketed and ALL my original symptoms are back with a vengeance. Reassurance is definitely appreciated as well as any information.  
 

Yes, I spent 4 years in an acute state with Akathisia and Anxiety after my CT from Lexapro. I was about 50-80% functional during that time. Then I had a really good 6 months where symptoms were diminishing tremendously and Akathisia was just a annoying nuisance. Not bothersome at all.  However, this wave set off by the Kidney stone and treatments (pain meds , anti-inflammatory, antibiotics) has me just barely functional. If I didn’t absolutely have to work I’d be bed and couch bound for sure.  So in short, this is way worse than initial acute WD.  
 

I promise not to ask the same question over and over, but given the severity of this wave, do you still hold the same opinions that you’ve expressed about my situation ?  
 

All the top WD gurus, including yours truly, have assured me that this wave will stabilize and fade within a reasonable but fair amount of time. 
 

I realize nobody can predict the “actual” amount of time, but I’m ready to take everybody’s reassurance, and just let it happen.  
 

Jeff 
 

 

 

[brassmonkey]

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  Having a severe setback when things are improving is about as disheartening as it can get. But yes, things will settle back down and chances are you will come out of the wave in better shape than you went into it.

[Alice1]

@brassmonkey 

Thank you Tom, 

One last question if you don't mind.

I have had waves before, but nothing this severe.  Is it normal for severe waves to get worse before they get better ?  

[quickquestion]

Hey Alice - I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I read through your posts and your mentality has been wonderful throughout this process. 

 

Are you noticing any letup in your current wave? Is it still getting worse?

[Alice1]

10 hours ago, quickquestion said:

Hey Alice - I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. I read through your posts and your mentality has been wonderful throughout this process. 

 

Are you noticing any letup in your current wave? Is it still getting worse?

Thank you for your kind words. I really appreciate it.  
 

It is getting worse, but it’s still very early.  I’m only 8 weeks out from my setback. I’ve noticed from others who’ve had similar events that it has an acute stage like anything else. I’ve noticed that whenever I overdo things or worry excessively I get even worse. So, I’m kinda taking a big vacation from everything to help jumpstart my second round of healing.  Like 6 months. I do not expect to be healed in 6 months, but I do expect to be out of the acute stage.  That’s my hope at least.  
 

There are a few positive “changes” here and there, but the overall status is of this wave is severe.  
 

Please be careful with your nervous systems while in withdrawal.  

I will update as soon as I have one. 

 

[Yesyes123]

@Alice1 you are a brave soldier.

 

Keep winning the game! All luck, peace and healing to you.

[quickquestion]

Well, you're now 8 weeks closer to feeling better. Do you recall how long it took you to recover from your last setback that was induced by stress? Is this setback playing out like that one?

[Jennings]

I hope you are well Alice

[Alice1]

On 2/20/2021 at 11:00 AM, quickquestion said:

Well, you're now 8 weeks closer to feeling better. Do you recall how long it took you to recover from your last setback that was induced by stress? Is this setback playing out like that one?

It took about 6-7 months for my last wave to settle down with the first 3ish being very severe.  You can go into my thread where I’m asking the mods for advice. It was my 3 year mark.  I didn’t connect the dots until about a month ago. It was induced by stress both chemical and emotional.  
 

This wave is way way way more severe.  I have never experienced symptoms this intense my whole 4.5 year healing journey.  I’m going to have a lot of recovery to do to get back where I was.  Which will happen, but the key to all this is to NOT have another medical episode where I need treatment.  

[quickquestion]

Jeez I’m so sorry to hear that. Hang in there bud, the world will benefit from your strength and positivity once you’re through this. 

[Alice1]

23 hours ago, Jennings said:

I hope you are well Alice

Thank you J 

It’s bad but it’s supposed to be.  I can’t expect the Akathisia to just leave all of a sudden.  I know my Akathisia.  It’s going to be bad for a minute, then it will ease slightly with time.  The key is to NOT re-ignite it again with something (drugs, stress, stimulation, exertion, etc) I’m trying to walk a little again at night. Only 10 minutes for now. Hopefully that doesn’t kick up too much of a fuss.  I got in a 2 hour argument with a family member about whether or not this was all in my head.  That made me completely Aka’d out for two days.  

[Alice1]

@Altostrata @brassmonkey

Hi Alto,

Hi Tom,  
I’m at 10 weeks into this ACUTE wave caused by pain meds and antibiotics. I must say that this makes my original acute withdrawal look like child’s play. 
No two days are alike, and everyday is an hour by hour survival routine. There are little moments here and there where everything lessons a bit and everything becomes easier for a few moments, and I even had a random day last week that symptoms (Akathisia) were very tolerable for most the day.  My symptom patterns are different everyday. Every symptom I’ve experienced the first time is back, but the Akathisia is the one that is way worse. Seems to have a lot more mental stuff attached to it this time too. My sleep is very erratic. Probably because I’m not working and I don’t really have a sleep cycle like normal, but I do sleep well. 
 

I just wanted to ask your opinions on a couple things. First, given the severity of this wave, am I right in assuming that getting at least 1/2 hour of gentle walking is appropriate as long as it’s not over done ? Second, I’ve made it a habit to get out of my house and walk a little in my small, and somewhat quiet country town. I’m doing this in order to keep my environment something besides my house.  I don’t believe it’s too stimulating, but it’s certainly not hibernating, complete sedating of my CNS either.  I tapered up on the walking, and I’m almost at 1/2 an hour per day.  It does seem like things have ramped up a tad, but due to the erratic nature of this wave I can’t say for sure.  
 

I take no supplements and no substances. Just one ingredient food and water.  
 

This wave has taken my ability to work my job, so I feel like I have to do something (non drug) to facilitate things a bit. 
 

I know ultimately I’m the judge of all these things, and I realize I’m only 2.5 months out,  but I was just wondering your thoughts on the exercise, and gentle exposure.  Probably a good idea, or would you be cocooning yourself like a Caterpillar until things have settled a little first ?   
 

Thank you for being here for us.   
 

Jeff 

[brassmonkey]

Getting outside for gentle walks is an excellent idea. Don't push things, take breaks to look at the squirrels and flowers (when they come up) and enjoy nature. It's probably still too cold, but just sitting outside can be very helpful. I would not go to the gym and pump iron or do cardio or the like, that would be too stimulating.