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BlackDiamond: Anybody recognizes these symptoms?


BlackDiamond

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Hi, I think lately I've been under covert medication. Anybody recognizes these symptoms with any antidepressant or antipsychotic? Thank you in advance.

 

-Extreme photophobia (light hurts even at night with street lights or car lights)

-Excess of fat in your stools (daily) (soft, greasy and pale yellow stools)

-Urgency to urinate constantly

-Lack of concentration

-Feeling cold all the time but sometimes you feel heat intolerant (even when you are in direct sunlight you feel almost hypothermia)

-Acathisia or restless sensation all the time

-Racing thoughts all the time

-Extreme Insomnia

-Unability to achieve a lasting erection and difficult to achieve orgasms

-Darkening and thickening of your hair, not only body hair but face and head (you have brown hair and the suddenly you have black thick and damaged-like hair)

 

-You feel you cannot learn easily and you have a really hard time memorizing things you could easily do

-You keep sweating and sweating but at the same time you have dry skin and sometimes lack of sweating in your face (cold, clammy skin)

-You leave a weird odor in your clothes, always, even if you bathe yourself well

-Dry mouth and bad breath even if you wash your teeth

-ANNOYING muscle tightness (it feels like you just cannot relax your muscles and all the time you feel like if they are pulling)

 

-Feeling like walking as a drunk or you feel you don't have stability as you walk

-Lack of judgment, (getting very emotional out of nothing or not really seeing the whole picture of situations)

-You feel like you are more complaisant that normal (agreeing things you normally don't and feeling like you worry about what others can say about you when you normally don't)

 

-Abnormal euphoria just because everything

-Mood changes (from euphoria and being very emotional to rage and depression)

-Losing sensation of your body (you touch yourself but it feels like you don't feel anything)

-Pallor

-Abnormal healing of wounds (I could have a cut but the wound won't heal as fast as before, it would just take weeks to properly close)

-Wanting to talk and verbalize everything nonstop

 

-Constant gum bleeding (very sensitive just by brushing teeth)

-Strange change in food's taste

 

-Fatigue alterning with periods of extreme energy and I-can-do-it-all periods

-Feeling like you were running and agitated most of the time

-You cannot stop moving your feet

-Weight gain

-Dilated pupils

-Dry lips

-Numbed tongue

-Difficulty in speaking (like you don't know the words to describe something totally easy and normal, stuttering)

-Dilated arm veins

-Ear buzzing

-Increased sensitivity to normal noises

-Difficulty to do maths

-Eye bags and looking ill in general.

-Feeling suicidal

-Looking yellow sometimes

-Having foam in your urine sometimes.

-Zero sexual arousal (it is like you do not feel aroused or have erections as you normally do)

 

 

In general, feeling like you are totally drugged, in a dream, or as I have read, like if you were on cocaine. I would thank if someone would recognize these symptoms and tell with what kind of medication did you feel them as I suspect I have been under covert medication because I refused at first to take those things. It is a long story but I have been medicated wrongly because I have a tumor that causes me weird things and they thought I was depressed just because at first they didn't find anything. Furthermore, a lot of physicians just simply didn't know or explain weird symptoms like extreme photophobia. I swear I had to wear sunglasses even at night because that symptom was unbearable, it literally caused me pain in the day or even when I looked at the floor, strangely that was when I had dilated pupils, really big pupils. I don't do drugs and this happened overnight. The most weird thing is the photophobia, dilated pupils and muscular tightness for me, I was checked neurologically and everything was fine, no head tumors, no eye damage, anything at all. I suspect this covert medication because stubborn psychiatrists wanted to put me on medications and I refused completely because I knew something physical was wrong instead of just a "mental illness", whatever that means.

 

Most of these symptoms suddenly started to dissapear a year and a half ago, gradually, and then I got like a withdrawal syndrome feeling suicidal, like I couldn't go out of bed, suddenly that euphoria went off and nothing would satisfy me at all, it is like a flat emotional response, but then you get depressed and angry, nausea, sweaty.. a total mess. Now, after all that last stir, the last months I have been feeling more like myself and all those symptoms dissapearing but I want to know because all of this seems so suspicious to me. Now, my original physical condition it is not treated so you cannot blame the getting better to a treatment to the physical ailment.

 

Another thing I would want to ask is that if a withdrawal syndrome can last up to many years after you have taken the medications, because I stopped taking those things by myself from one day to another without gradually diminish them and I was wondering if that withdrawal could have lasted by six years (which I don't think so), so my family would have decided to go on covert medication by psychiatrist orders or something or is just something else that I have in my body. I really feel like crap and as if my brain was shook and then you come back to normal life after (and that is something that tumor doesn't do and do not behaves like that).

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Many of these symptoms sound like you have Candida Albicans (yeast overgrowth).

 

This is something I have done a LOT of reading up on over the last few weeks and if you research it, you may find that the stress of WD has triggered a yeast infection/overgrowth resulting in a compromised immune system.

 

The way to heal is by cutting out all refined sugar from your diet and yeast based foods.

 

Doctors don't recognise it as an illness so be aware that your doctor won't help much.

 

In any case, it might be worth getting some bloodwork done to get some clues as to what is going on.

 

TC,

JC

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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Thank you but I think I removed sugars completely three years ago and it has gone worse. I had the idea of an insulinoma and tried to consume sugar and I feel relief when I do that so I don't know. The problem is that psychiatrist brainwashed my family into thinking I was only depressed and have some psychological issues or "chemical imbalances" in my brain so they wanted to flood me with antidepressants, antipsychotics, antiepileptics, etc. and I got worse with those things so I was reading about covert medication and it exists but I don't know what kind of medication, that is why I was asking if someone could recognize these symptoms as adverse effects.

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Hey Black Diamond

 

have you ever looked into parasites in the intestines as a reason for the greasy stools and many of these other symptoms?  

 

i had the dialated pupils very badly too, when i was on zoloft and zyprexa.  People i met used to ask me if i was high on something because my pupils were so big.  

 

i also have bleeding gums no matter how much i floss, in fact i have a lot of the things you mention, the fatigue, etc.  Much of it is similar to the symptoms of intestinal parasites.  

 

Poetjester

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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i also have huge eye bags, insomnia, inability to concentrate.  i forget words all the time now.  My breath smells like poop now no matter how much i brush and floss and gargle which is a sign of parasite infection.  i bought some over the counter medications and am going to give them a try tomorrow.  

Court committed to take Prozac, Paxci, and Respiradol from 8/95 to 3/96.   developed severe akithisia and brain damage.  Was unable to speak and walking in circles 15 hours a day.  Went in for 5 sessions of ECT during a 10 day period in March of '96 and my forced medication was discontinued at that time.  My akithisia and brain damage cleared up within a few days of stopping the meds.

 

On Zoloft (200 mg) and Zyprexa (17.5 mg) March 1998- Feb 2014

In between was placed on Effexor 200 mg and Abilify for six months in 2004.  Developed mild akithisia which went away once I stopped the Abilify.  Developed severe GI issues in Dec 2001 and from that time on suffered from fatigue and hypersomnia where I would sleep between 12 and 20 hours a day and rarely ever left my apartment. 

 

Had tapered to 100 mg of Zoloft and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa at the time of going cold turkey Feb. 2014

Went 5 days without sleep at the beginning while vomiting all over my apt.  Had brain zaps for a number of weeks and also lightheadedness which both eventually went away.  However 2 1/2 yrs later I still struggle with insomnia, depression, and fatigue.

 

 

 

 

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i also have huge eye bags, insomnia, inability to concentrate.  i forget words all the time now.  My breath smells like poop now no matter how much i brush and floss and gargle which is a sign of parasite infection.  i bought some over the counter medications and am going to give them a try tomorrow.  

Hi, I thought the same but I took anthelmintics twice but no results. The weird fact is that I had very dilated pupils just like you are describing and I felt really high. I don't do drugs or anything or have neurological issues so that is weird because now I feel normal and I do not have dilated pupils anymore and I don't have the photophobia problem anymore. But before everything was going back to normal I went through what I would call a withdrawal syndrome.

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Another weird thing is that in six years I had two or three dreams and now that I feel normal I dream every day. I have read that some antidepressants suppress REM sleep which is the stage in which we dream. And when you suppress REM stage you feel like you haven't rest at all even if you sleep 8 hours. I felt like that, too.

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Furthermore, I have read that liquid antidepressants exist and covert medication exists, so I'm not being paranoid. They even wanted to apply electroshock therapy on me without having a diagnostic first. I send them to hell of course. But the psychiatrists spoke privately to my parents once. I really don't know what the hell happened.

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I was sweating all the time without reason, especially from my hands. Now I sweat only when I exercise as everone would do, but when I'm in my everyday activities I do not sweat. My hands are now dry. I mean, before I left my shoes wet just by walking. I was euphoric just by hearing a song just as if I was on cocaine, because I felt like a mental orgasm or something. Now I do get excited but not at those extremes but before I went normal again, I felt like flat and severely depressed.

 

Now I have read the side effects of Sertraline and I had everything but I really don't know. If my symptoms were caused from my original disease I wouldn't have had dilated pupils. "Nasal Congestion" between side effects. You know, it may sound funny but when I tried to have sexual pleasure I couldn't breathe properly, just as if I had the flu suddenly. It was awkward, really.

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I had occasional yellow skin and weight gain during the period of "hell" I went through which is even weirder because my original disease prevents me to gain a single pound and then suddenly I start to feel weird and start gaining weight I couldn't gain in years???? Then I feel normal again and I lose that weight again???? Then the weirdest symptom was my hair darkening and the same thing; when I felt normal again my hair returned to my light brown color. My original disease doesn't behave like that. It doesn't work for periods.

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Something I forgot to mention: Voice Change too. I had a thinning of my voice, very treble and when I felt normal my voice turned deep and bassy again.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello Blackdiamond, welcome to SA.  All these symptoms could be drug related, and could also be withdrawal related too. 

 

It does look like you have been in withdrawal and yes it can last many years. What you are describing is the healing process and are now recovering nicely.  Nothing you have said suggests to me that someone has been medicating you without your knowledge, but of course I don't know for certain. 

 

You've been through what many here are are suffering and you have come through it.  Enjoy your recovery, it is wonderful and real. You may have some waves, when things get worse for a while but that is normal and the waves get shorter and shorter. You can read about windows and waves here...

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-stabilization/

 

Your nervous system has been very ubstable because of all the drugs and has taken time to regain homeostasis. Your brain has had to 'regrow' and repair. 

 

It is good to see that someone has got through this. Take a look around the site, especially the symptoms and self care section. You can read up on the symptoms of withdrawal and relate to them. This section is especially useful, it gives non drug ways of coping with things, which will be invaluable to keep you from ever taking a psych drug again. You have healed and can take care of your precious brain.  :)   http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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I consider I wasn't taking strong medications for a withdrawal lasting six years, can it be possible ? The last time I took a pill was July 2011 and even though I felt drugged all the time until july 2014 and then I had like a withdrawal until february 2017. I've read strongest withdrawals come from benzodiazepines but I was taking antiepileptics, then carbamazepine for a week, then valproic acid for seven months but I decided to leave them because I was feeling worse. They wanted to put me on Fluoxetine, Sertraline, Quetiapine, Escitalopram but I totally refused to take those things. That is why I suspect medication without consent because I felt reallybad even though I was not taking that medication anymore, so my parents could have arranged to medicate me through food or something, I don't know, this is so strange.

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I have read the post of tongue numbing on Risperidal. They wanted to put me on that drug too and that was a major symptom through these years, the jaw clenching and tongue stiffness and numbness, aphasia and feeling drowsy. Maybe this is the drug they put me on ?

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Drugs don't have to be strong to cause withdrawal. Also with multiple drugs the nervous system becomes unstable and causes lots of awful symptoms. It can take years for a nervous system to stabilise and it seems that yours is there now. I can't see anything to suggest drugging but of course I don't know that for definite. We have seen people here very ill from just one or two doses of a drug and it has taken a long, long time to recover. Read this paper from Dr Glenmullen on withdrawal symptoms.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2390-dr-joseph-glenmullens-withdrawal-symptom-checklist/

 

Withdrawal mania can cause the dilated pupils and drugged feeling, many 'windows' are mistaken for mania, (read the link on windows and waves) or drug use. You had several drugs all that can cause horrific side effects and withdrawal. Look to the future, you are healing nicely and feeling well. Be thankful that it is over, many here are just starting their withdrawal experience and have a long road ahead of them.   Don't let this spoil your recovery, your new life starts now, go and enjoy it! 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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