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Laetitia

Laetitia: This cant be only drugs having ruined my life

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Laetitia

Dear all,

I have been on drugs for 20 years.
Initial cause for going on drugs was insomnia (impossible to sleep and fear of not being able to sleep), anxiety, depression. Treatment was amitryptilline 150 mg. (Elavil). Then the medication was gradually tapered and the sleeping problem reoccured. I then never stopped drugs. I developped Pure O : fear of not being able to sleep so I did not sleep, unable to go to work because of lack of sleep and terrible anxiety.

 

For many years I was on Prozac and it contributed to destroy my marriage.It made me mean. from 2007 to 2017 I was on all possible ssris, anafranil, but also all types of neuroleptics xeroquel 50 mg, risperdal for a short time...... I am now still unable to sleep in other places or when there are wifi waves, unable to sleep in the same bed as someone, and cant work because of extreme anxiety.

 

After a suicidal attempt due to anafranil poop out I am now on brintellix 10 mg and think I must let my brain stabilize before doing any changes. I have no home and boyfriend so I am staying by a friend. I try to develop a mindfulness attitude to accept how my life has been ruined.

 

has anybody developped this kind of obsessions, how do you address them? Do you know how i will taper Brintellix since I have ocd and as soon as I make a change my own brain thinks "this is going to make your insomnia and anxiety worse". Are people also disabled from drugs and requested disability? Thank you.

Current drugs Brintellix 10 mg, Nozinan 20 mg, Zopiclone 7,5 mg

Edited by scallywag
added paragraph breaks and tags

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scallywag

Laetitia -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)
 
You're wise to take time to stabilize on your current combination of medications.  good for you for getting (back?) into mindfulness meditation; many people find it helps them deal with both withdrawal symptoms and drug adverse effects.
 
Question for you: When was amitriptyline dropped and Brintellix/Trintellix added?

Thanks for clearly posting your current medications and doses.

A request: Would you summarize your history in a signature -- drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements, in the last 12-24 months particularly?

  • Any drugs prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years.
  • Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago)
  • Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016.
  • Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses.
  • A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs.
  • You can find instructions in this topic: Please put your withdrawal history in signature
  • If you are using a phone or mobile device, you need to switch to the "full" or desktop version of the site. Instructions are in Post 9 and Post 10

Topics that relate to the questions you've asked:
 

Ruminations

Change the channel - dealing with cognitive symptoms.

Dealing with emotional spirals.

 

Tapering

Before you begin tapering -- what you need to know.
Why taper by 10% of my dosage?.
Discussing Brintellix (vortioxetine).

I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but am glad that you found us.

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Laetitia

Thank you Scallywag. 

Amitryptilline was dropped in 1998. 

Brintellix started seven days ago at 10 mg. 

Unfortunately I am now disabled (cannot do any kind of work because too anxious) and lost my husband and home. 

I had saved a signature but that does not seem to work my apologies … 

I have been on more than 50 drugs in total with a lot of changes without tapering … 

I know Brintellix is not a clean drug even though they say there is no taper needed.

But i feel ilke a veteran from a war and I don't want any changes to my brain for a long while … 

My only hope is I can get disability because my initial problem was anxiety and sleep OCD (obsessed about not being able to fall asleep) and these problems got 100 times worse after 20 years of ssri's. Thanks for your help. 

 

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Laetitia

Dear, I updated my signature. I try to adopt a mindfulness attitude, like this is terrible, you have lost home, job, marriage, friends, but you have to accept. Let it pass and go …. just accept… Thank you for this site. 

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Laetitia

Dear all

 

Anybody on Brintellix here ? Do you think this is a harsh drug to taper from ? Anybody has increased hunger on Brintellix ? or is this coming from the Anafranil CT ? Thank you. 

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Laetitia

Dear all, 

 

I have been on drugs for 20 years. Over the years I became unable to work due to severe anxiety, sleep oct etc … I believe my initial condition of anxiety got worse over the years. I am unable to have any type of job, even part time because I am so anxious I overreact to every stimulation or minor stress. Anybody in this situation ? Thanks, not sure this is the right place for posting this though.

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scallywag

Laetitia -- You ask a good question. The answer is that there are more than a handful of members who are on disability compensation because of their medication withdrawal symptoms.

 

I've moved your post/question to your introduction topic for now. The best forum to post this question depends on what information you hope to get.

 

Thanks for updating your signature. It looks as if you switched from lexapro to anafranil in January 2017 because the Lexapro "pooped out."

 

The sudden drop in Lexapro (from 10 mg to 0 overnight) is probably what caused problems for you 6 weeks into taking anafranil, not that the anafranil pooped out. Sadly even when the drugs stop working for the reasons we started them, they still need to be tapered carefully to minimize withdrawal symptoms.

 

Switching to another medication at this point may offer you little relief and will almost certainly complicate your medication situation.

 

What non-drug techniques are you using to deal with your anxiety? These 2 topics have ideas that have helped many people:

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms.

The Dr. Claire Weekes Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

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Laetitia

Hi all

 

I am back here having reinstated Anafranil at 75 mg then 37.5 mg due to the fact that I tend to think ssri poop out gives me ocd about sleep (unable to sleep).

I am unable to work and on disability because this anxiety to work was the cause why I went on the drugs 20 years ago. No amout of CBT mindfulness and other non drugs techniques can lower this anxiety. I am desperate. I have also been on melatonin 2mg because I could not sleep. Sleep was also an issue for going on the drugs. I don't know how to handly this crazy anxiety and the worried thoughts one day I end up on a street because of my unability to work. I try to find other testimonies of people who went on the drugs due to severe anxiety.

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scallywag

As you probably know, Anafranil is a tricyclic antidepressant that works in a different way than an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) such as Lexapro. Because of this difference it may be doing little to deal with your withdrawal anxiety and insomnia.

 

When did you decrease the dose from 75 mg to 37.5 mg? Please add that to your signature.

 

Did your doctor suggest that you decrease the dose?

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Laetitia

Dear all

 

My doctor does not agree that I lower my dose, I am on disability and if he knows I dropped my dose he will not file my papers so that I continue to get disability because in France anti depressants are not considered to lose their effect. I don't think the way I feel is coming from the drop, Its my original condition, however I worked on it doing CBT and mindfulness but I was never able to work without antidepressants. They worked from 1998 to 2015.

 

Nobody will ever recognize the poop out effect in France I tried to post my testimony and people only advocate for ADs for lifetime. I think this is just my original anxiety how I can accept I am scared to work at 38 ? I am like a plant. I don't have a life. I also started a gluten free diet because I read gluten fixes itself in the brain and can cause anxiety and depression.

 

I have the impression people on this board are on disability because of the drug withdrawal not because of their original condition. I would have liked to continue the drogs forever but it stopped working and I got worse OCD after some years.

 

The fact is I am wondering if this whole idea of AD poop out and that ADs in the long run, for more than 10 years, really lead to a lack of serotonin in the brain and desactivate receptors Is true ? because in the French board people started to tell me there is no scientific evidence about poop out they say its my original condition which has worsened but i always tried to cure my original condition and spent a lot of money on CBTmindfulness all for nothing.

 

People who are on disablity here can get disability if they tell their doctor they lowered their med ? I feel lost. I wonder if reading all the information here did not make me imagine things which are not true ? I feel lost. I dont know who to believe. Thank you for reading.

Edited by scallywag
insert paragraph breaks for readability

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miT

Many people got on SSRI's because of anxiety. In my case the anxiety came back when tapering the drug, intensified by the drug. At a certain point I had to deal with my anxiety myself, like you did with mindfulness. However change doesn't come easily. Keep it up.

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scallywag

Laetitia, the medical term for drug poop-out is tachyphylaxis.  Most doctors recognize that tachyphylaxis occurs for some people taking antidepressants, both tricyclics and SSRIs.  I hope that having the correct term will help you find information in French.

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powerback
10 minutes ago, scallywag said:

Laetitia, the medical term for drug poop-out is tachyphylaxis.  Most doctors recognize that tachyphylaxis occurs for some people taking antidepressants, both tricyclics and SSRIs.  I hope that having the correct term will help you find information in French.

hi scallywag ,is there a different approach to poop-out than tapering ,apologies for the interruption

PB

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scallywag

I don't know.

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Laetitia

Dear all,

 

In spite of some CBT and mindfulness I can't cope with severe anxiety which prevents me from working even a few hours a week (I am even anxious at talking to my family, scared of everything) and have sleep OCD (obsessed about insomnia which I suffer from and thus can't sleep). These issues of course are now 1000 times worse because I have been on the drugs for more than 15 years. I mean I understand some people who manage to sleep and work can cope with withdrawal anxiety and insomnia but what if these issues are the original ones ? I mean the drugs did lessen the obsessions, anxiety. Thank you for your opinions and advice. Laetitia

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chrona

you might try googling anxiety and homeopathy.  I found something that helps me called gelsemium and I take a high dose of 1 M.   there are many articles that explain what symptoms you have that match a remedy.  they are cheap to try. 

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LostInTheWoods

I've always erred on the side of too much worrying and social anxiety, but the onset of crippling anxiety, insomnia and the fear of it was more abrupt. Because of some major stress in my life, I indeed got first the anxiety, then the insomnia and those persisted past the original stressor. I got then the obsession about it, thinking it was incurable and either madness or death would ensue and a panic attack ensued before my doctor sent me to a psychiatrist.

 

I wish I would have known about CBT and mindfulness then so I wouldn't had to go the Paxil path. Admitedly, I was such a nervous wreck that the short term benzo would have been necessary as a temporary, short term solution (some weeks or a month) to cope with the peak of the crisis. The Paxil did made me functional again for a period but it just numbs the senses enough to not notice the issues within and also numb you to the good parts of life. Coniser that either poop out or the appearance of long term side effects were a certainty in the long run, I've decided to leave it.

 

Yes, hasn't been easy. I've got some depression, the WD insomnia with some other symptoms and I've been going to great lenghts to keep my head from making a fuzz about it. Maybe some of it was the initial condition but then, that wasn't time zero and I still remember a me that lacked those conditions.I'm looking forward to going back to that me with some added experience.

 

Please keep hope, and do not let yourself to be defined by those underlying conditions. Maybe you got both the anxiety and insomnia but you are not either of them.

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Laetitia

de

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Laetitia

Dear all

 

Is fatigue and exhaustion and a CFS like state normal ? I have been worried I may lack some essential nutrients ? It feels more like a "brain fatigue" but my body is also weak. I remember having been to a lot of doctors when I tried to stop Prozac in early 2000s and all my blood tests were normal; I try b vitamins and taurine with magnesium but they tend to make me jittery and more anxious. Is this fatigue normal? Thanks a lot

Edited by scallywag
merged from topic: Exhaustion

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scallywag

Laetitia, I've moved your post/question to your introduction topic so that all your information, questions and answers are in one place.

 

Feeling tired, fatigued and exhausted can be withdrawal symptoms, just as much as brain zaps or insomnia. It is likely that your nutrient levels are just fine.  Vitamin B supplements can be stimulating, so feeling "jittery and more anxious" when taking it is not surprising.  Taurine can also have a stimulating effect. Now you know that you should avoid these while withdrawal symptoms continue.

 

Some people find it helpful to supplement with omega 3 fatty acids and/or magnesium. Start with one or the other at a low dose then work your way up.

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil).

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker.

 

For other ideas, check discussion topics on fatigue. Here's a link to google search results for the word "fatigue" on this site.

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Altostrata

Hello, Laetitia. How are you doing?

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Laetitia

Dear altostrata,

 

Unfortunately i have not been doing good at all. I was on 37.5 mg of Anafranil for a while from May until July when I crashed my original issues which are OCD about sleep (unable to sleep) and anxiety depression came back in full force I decided to reinstate at 75 mg then the day after 75mg -10% as advised here so now I am on 75mg-10% of clomipramine. Being on ads for 20 years I don't know anymore what is my original condition what is drug induced all I know is I am severely depressed. I am confused how to treat a severe depression without increasing these horrible antidepressants. I am also extremely irritable fed up with everything I am on long term disability due to my anxiety which was my original condition but I am also sure taking ads for 20 years has made the chemical imbalance much worse. I feel I will never get better. Sorry for the pessimistic post.

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miT

If you can't cope with depression this is not the right time to get off the drugs.

Try to stabilize on your current dose. Why were you on 75mg for one day only?

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Laetitia

I was on it for 1 day only because i realized what a waste it was to have bear three months at 37.5 mg to reinstate at full dose

but then if I understand you it means people with serious depression anxiety prior to drugs will have to take the drugs forever even if they dont work any more and pooped out? I have signed a pact with the devil. so lost

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miT

I didn't say that.

What I meant is that we have to learn to cope with anxiety/OCD/bad habits while on the drugs and when tapering the drugs.

The drugs don't heal. So if one refuses to observe and change its habits and thinking patterns, then yes i think he/she will be on it forever.

 

Btw I'm familiar with anxiety and pain. The more pain I'm in the more I learn. When your old habits get you stuck, what other option do you have than to make a change?

 

How are you feeling after the reinstatement? Do you feel a difference?

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Laetitia

Hi, well I don't feel really better after the reinstatement at 75-10% mg, I guess I just have to continue I cannot sleep and will try melatonin long relased to see if that helps I don't even know what stabilize means because im on these meds for 20 years and they all pooped out on me. I feel that if i cant sleep I will never give my brain a chance to recover and however the more pressure I put on my sleep the least I manage to sleep.... sleep obsession is my main issue and was my reason for medication 20 years ago. I feel like the worst scenario in this site, like I am the worst case.

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powerback
3 hours ago, Laetitia said:

Hi, well I don't feel really better after the reinstatement at 75-10% mg, I guess I just have to continue I cannot sleep and will try melatonin long relased to see if that helps I don't even know what stabilize means because im on these meds for 20 years and they all pooped out on me. I feel that if i cant sleep I will never give my brain a chance to recover and however the more pressure I put on my sleep the least I manage to sleep.... sleep obsession is my main issue and was my reason for medication 20 years ago. I feel like the worst scenario in this site, like I am the worst case.

Hi Laetitia ,sorry to hear your sleep troubles, I had my worst night last night ,do you exercise ,drugs don't work for you by the looks of it ,maybe try new things and scrutinise your diet for stimulants .we got to drain every resource  for answers .

my heart bleeds for you thinking your the worst case .it simply isn't fair .

Take care .

PB

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dj2010
3 hours ago, Laetitia said:

Hi, well I don't feel really better after the reinstatement at 75-10% mg, I guess I just have to continue I cannot sleep and will try melatonin long relased to see if that helps I don't even know what stabilize means because im on these meds for 20 years and they all pooped out on me. I feel that if i cant sleep I will never give my brain a chance to recover and however the more pressure I put on my sleep the least I manage to sleep.... sleep obsession is my main issue and was my reason for medication 20 years ago. I feel like the worst scenario in this site, like I am the worst case.

long release melatonin helped me a lot while coming off my medication but would only work for a few nights and then I would have to have a week or 2 off it before it would work again, regular melatonin used to get me to sleep but i would wake after a hour or 2 and feel very groggy, 

 

now the long release melatonin doesn't seem to work much even having long breaks off it,

 

I am finding meditation effective for sleep, if you use the website www.headspace.com there is a special meditation course just for sleep

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Laetitia

thank you very much for your answers I really appreciate I am scared my brain is in chaos and will never recover as I am in such a bad place and still on many drugs ... thank you all.

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