malu Posted December 30, 2020 Author Share Posted December 30, 2020 18 hours ago, ChessieCat said: Are you listing all the food that you eat in your symptom diary? If yes, then low blood sugar from not eating regularly throughout the day may be contributing to your symptoms/making them worse. It's important to keep your blood sugar level throughout the day. You don't have to eat a lot but having small, nutritious amounts of food throughout the day might make a difference with how you feel. From https://www.newhealthadvisor.org/symptoms-of-not-eating-enough.html Symptoms of Not Eating Enough: 1. You Have Low Energy 5. You Experience Quick Mood Shifts 8. You Cannot Sleep Comfortably 9. You Feel Depressed 12. You Experience Headaches and This webpage has a diagram showing where and how the body can be affected: https://www.healthline.com/health/low-blood-sugar-effects-on-body#1 I'll try to list it. Maybe it affects me... Today I didn't sleep well again. And inner restlessness and the other symptoms are really affecting me. December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted December 30, 2020 Author Share Posted December 30, 2020 29 Dec 2020 Woke up several times 7:51 woke up 10:38 depressed, anxiety, low inner restlessness, tired, joint rigidity, hungover 10:45 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 11:00 took shower 11:15 depressed, anxiety, low inner restlessness, tired, joint rigidity, hungover 11:56 just noticed blurred vision 12:00 took 1 capsule of fish oil to test 12:00 inner restlessness 12:54 lunch (eggs, beans, rice, cabbage) 13:20 increased inner restlessness, depressed, anxiety, cognitive impairment, blurred vision, decreased hearing, joint rigidity, inner restlessness, mild akathisia, burning nerves 17:30 feeling sensitized nervous system, took regular lemon balm tea, inner restlessness 18:40 inner restlessness, tired 19:00 ate bread, eggs, lettuce salad 22:30 same 30 Dec 2020 00:00 insomnia, inner restlessness 00:30 ate bread, eggs and beans 1:00 insomnia, inner restlessness Slept and woke up several times 7:30 woke up 08:52 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, cognitive impairment, joint rigidity, I didn't sleep well 10:22 ate eggs, sweet potato 11:25 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 11:50 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity, blurred vision Should I do any changes? December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted December 31, 2020 Author Share Posted December 31, 2020 30 Dec 2020 00:00 insomnia, inner restlessness 00:30 ate bread, eggs and beans 1:00 insomnia, inner restlessness Slept and woke up several times 7:30 woke up 08:52 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, cognitive impairment, joint rigidity, I didn't sleep well 10:22 ate eggs, sweet potato 11:25 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 11:50 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity, blurred vision 14:00 slept a little 15:00 eating rice and beans 16:40 ate bananas And took lemon balm tea 17:20 inner restlessness, anxiety... 20:00 bean soup, egg 20:10 cognitive impairment, joint rigidity, tired, strange taste in my mouth, low inner restlessness 22:00 drank passion fruit juice 22:00 tired, joint rigidity, cognitive impairment 31 Dec 2020 00:00 insomnia, trying to sleep, fell asleep 7:30 woke up, anxiety, depression, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity, cognitive impairment 10:30 stayed in bed until 10:30 11:10 took 1.75 of Mirtazapine 11:11 anxiety, depression, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity, cognitive impairment 11:55 ate an apple 12:00 drank juice 13:00 anxiety, inner restlessness... 13:37 ate beans and fries 13:37 increased inner restlessness, anxiety 14:00 inner restlessness, anxiey, depression, burning nerves 16:00 ate bread with nuts, drank chamomile tea 16:30 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 1, 2021 Author Share Posted January 1, 2021 Dec 31 2020 00:00 insomnia, trying to sleep, fell asleep 7:30 woke up, anxiety, depression, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity, cognitive impairment 10:30 stayed in bed until 10:30 11:10 took 1.75 of Mirtazapine 11:11 anxiety, depression, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity, cognitive impairment 11:55 ate an apple 12:00 drank juice 13:00 anxiety, inner restlessness... 13:37 ate beans and fries 13:37 increased inner restlessness, anxiety 14:00 inner restlessness, anxiey, depression, burning nerves 16:00 ate bread with nuts, drank chamomile tea 16:30 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression 18:00 depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness 19:00 ate bread, eggs, broccoli 20:00 ate more bread 20:20 feeling depressed, anxiety, tired 21:00 same Jan 1 2021 00:40 ate bread and eggs, feeling depressed and anxious 2:53 insomnia, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness 9:30 woke up 11:15 still in bed, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity 11:35 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 12:11 low inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity 12:50 ate bananas 13:00 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity 13:30 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity, tired 14:15 ate rice, beans, fish and broccoli 14:15 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity, tired 14:50 ate bread, drank passion fruit juice 15:00 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity, tired 15:25 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity, tired 15:40 ate bananas and apple 17:30 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity, tired 18:00 ate bean soup with a little bit of pasta 18:30 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity, tired December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 3, 2021 Author Share Posted January 3, 2021 Jan 2 2021 00:00 (?) Fell asleep 8:00 woke up 9:35 Low inner restlessness, tired, depressed, anxious, joint rigidity 11:20 same 12:00 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 12:50 Low inner restlessness, tired, depressed, anxious, joint rigidity 12:51 drank passion fruit juice 12:55 Low inner restlessness, tired, depressed, anxious, joint rigidity 15:00 ate rice, beans, cabbage 15:25 low inner restlessness, tired, depressed, anxious, joint rigidity 15:50 ate bread and eggs 16:10 Inner restlessness, tired, depressed, anxious 17:00 same 17:20 ate bananas 18:00 drank lemon balm tea 19:50 cognitive impairment, low inner restlessness, depressed, anxious, tired 22:00 inner restlessness, depressed, more anxious, tired 23:00 inner restlessness, depressed, more anxious, tired, insomnia 23:10 ate banana 23:15 inner restlessness, depressed, very anxious, tired, insomnia, cognitive impairment December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 3, 2021 Administrator Share Posted January 3, 2021 malu, it appears your sleep has been better the last couple of days, is that so? Do you use a computer or tablet before you go to bed at midnight? That could keep you from falling asleep for a while. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
malu Posted January 3, 2021 Author Share Posted January 3, 2021 18 hours ago, Altostrata said: malu, it appears your sleep has been better the last couple of days, is that so? Do you use a computer or tablet before you go to bed at midnight? That could keep you from falling asleep for a while. Yes, it was better, but today I slept less than 7 hours at night. I managed to sleep again in the afternoon, but I don't feel the sleep was so restorative today. I used both computer and phone yesterday when I was with insomnia. December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 4, 2021 Administrator Share Posted January 4, 2021 5 or 6 hours of sleep isn't bad. Computer or tablet use can keep you awake. So it seems you are slowly improving? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
malu Posted January 4, 2021 Author Share Posted January 4, 2021 2 hours ago, Altostrata said: 5 or 6 hours of sleep isn't bad. Computer or tablet use can keep you awake. So it seems you are slowly improving? Yes, I hope so. Jan 3 2021 1:40 insomnia 2:00 fell asleep 8:45 woke up 9:00 took shower 10:05 didn't sleep well, inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity 10:50 ate vegetable omelets 11:00 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 12:20 inner restlessness, traumatic feeling, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity, burning nerves 13:00 (?) Fell asleep 14:00 (?) woke up, fell asleep 16:25 woke up 16:30 anxiety, traumatic feeling, low inner restlessness, depression, joint rigidity 16:35 drank chamomile tea 17:00 ate rice, beans, mashed potatoes, boiled eggs 17:10 anxiety, traumatic feeling, low inner restlessness, depression, joint rigidity 17:55 traumatic feeling, low inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity 18:00 ate bananas 18:30 drank lemongrass and chamomile tea 18:30 low inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity 19:00 feeling relief from lemongrass and chamomile tea 19:30 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, desperation, joint rigidity 20:45 ate bananas with ginger 21:00 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression 22:30 ate vegetable soup 22:50 low inner restlessness, anxiety, depression 23:20 ate fried eggs 23:25 low inner restlessness, anxiety, depression "Traumatic feeling": feeling like my brain is inflamed and I feel inner desperation. December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 4, 2021 Administrator Share Posted January 4, 2021 You may be recovering from all your drugs and drug changes over the years. You take mirtazapine at 11 a.m. and then sleep during the day? Why do you do this? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
malu Posted January 4, 2021 Author Share Posted January 4, 2021 22 minutes ago, Altostrata said: You may be recovering from all your drugs and drug changes over the years. You take mirtazapine at 11 a.m. and then sleep during the day? Why do you do this? I started taking it in the morning because the akathisia was getting stronger in the afternoon so I took it to see if I would be more relaxed throughout the day. I think that maybe taking it before sleeping at night would be better but I didn't changed it yet. How can I change it? December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 4, 2021 Administrator Share Posted January 4, 2021 Move it later by an hour each day until you are taking it before bed. A more normal sleep pattern may be better for you. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
malu Posted January 5, 2021 Author Share Posted January 5, 2021 18 hours ago, Altostrata said: Move it later by an hour each day until you are taking it before bed. A more normal sleep pattern may be better for you. Okay. Jan 4 2021 3:00 insomnia, anxiety, inner restlessness 5:20 insomnia, anxiety, inner restlessness 6:30 still awake, insomnia 7:10 insomnia, anxiety, depression, inner restlessness 8:00 fell asleep 10:30 woke up 10:40 fell asleep 11:40 woke up 12:15 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 12:30 ate a banana 12:45 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, tiredness 14:15 ate rice, beans, broccoli, kale, boiled eggs 14:20 tiredness, inner restlessness, anxiety, depression 15:50 drank lemon balm tea 16:30 tiredness, inner restlessness, anxiety, depression 17:00 ate bananas, ginger 18:00 ate eggs, bananas, avocado 18:20 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, feeling traumatized 19:00 ate bread, eggs, bananas, ginger 19:15 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, feeling traumatized 20:25 drank juice 20:30 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, feeling traumatized 22:00 ate rice, lentils, bread 22:30 low inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, feeling traumatized 23:00 same 23:30 insomnia, low inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, feeling traumatized December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 5, 2021 Administrator Share Posted January 5, 2021 I'm sorry you had a bad night. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
malu Posted January 6, 2021 Author Share Posted January 6, 2021 Jan 5 2021 00:00 fell asleep 6:30 woke up 7:30 (?) fell asleep 11:00 woke up 11:30 low inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, feeling traumatized, joint rigidity 13:00 ate bananas 13:20 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 13:30 low inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, feeling traumatized, joint rigidity 13:50 ate rice, beans, vegetables 14:00 ate mango 14:10 inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, feeling traumatized, joint rigidity 13:30 same 15:45 drank lemon balm tea 17:00 slept a little 17:47 drank more lemon balm tea low inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, feeling traumatized, joint rigidity 18:20 increased depression, low inner restlessness, anxiety, feeling traumatized 19:00 ate eggs on toast 19:05 at bananas 19:10 depression, low inner restlessness, anxiety, feeling traumatized 21:30 drank lemon balm tea 22:30 depression, low inner restlessness, anxiety, feeling traumatized 23:00 ate rice, beans, boiled eggs 23:20 depression, low inner restlessness, anxiety, feeling traumatized December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 7, 2021 Author Share Posted January 7, 2021 Jan 6 2021 3:00 insomnia 4:00 fell asleep 5:40 woke up 6:00 fell asleep 10:10 woke up 12:00 depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness, feeling traumatized 14:30 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 15:00 depressed, inner restlessness, anxiety, joint rigidity, trauma feeling 15:30 ate rice, beans, boiled cassava, bananas, ginger 16:00 depressed, inner restlessness, anxiety, joint rigidity, trauma feeling 17:00 (?) fell asleep 21:15 woke up 21:20 depression, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity, trauma feeling 21:30 ate bananas 22:30 ate eggs on toast 23:10 depression, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity, trauma feeling 23:55 ate bananas, ginger December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 8, 2021 Author Share Posted January 8, 2021 Jan 7 2021 2:00 insomnia 3:00 ate eggs on toast 4:00 insomnia, depression, traumatic feeling 5:00 still awake 6:00 (?) fell asleep 11:30 woke up 11:45 cognitive impairment, joint rigidity, low inner restlessness, traumatic feeling, depression, anxiety, tired, difficulty breathing 13:20 increased anxiety 14:00 drank juice 14:30 traumatic feeling, panicky feelings, joint rigidity, anxiety, depression, low inner restlessness 15:35 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 15:50 ate rice, beans, vegetables, broccoli 17:30 ate bananas, avocado, ginger 18:30 traumatic feeling, depression, low inner restlessness, anxiety, joint rigidity, burning nerves 19:00 ate toast 19:45 ate eggs and toast 20:00 traumatic feeling, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness 22:50 (?) drank lemon balm tea 23:00 (?) ate bean soup 23:55 traumatic feeling, depression, anxiety, inner restlessness, cognitive impairment December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 9, 2021 Author Share Posted January 9, 2021 Jan 8 2021 3:00 (?) Fell asleep 12:20 woke up 14:00 drank juice 14:30 depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness, trauma, joint rigidity 15:30 depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness, trauma 16:00 ate banana, fresh plum 16:25 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 16:45 ate rice, beans, banana, fresh plum 17:00 depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness, trauma 18:00 ate eggs on toast 19:31 19:20 trauma, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness 20:20 ate bananas, ginger, avocado 20:30 trauma, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness 21:10 same 22:30 ate bean soup 22:30 trauma, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness 23:30 trauma, depression, anxiety, inner restlessness, cognitive impairment December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 10, 2021 Author Share Posted January 10, 2021 Jan 9 2021 5:30 insomnia, still awake, anxiety, inner restlessness, trauma, depression 5:50 fell asleep 11:20 woke up 15:00 feeling fragile nerves, trauma, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity 15:50 ate bananas, mango, drank passion fruit juice 17:20 ate rice, beans, cabbage, broccoli 17:30 feeling fragile nerves, trauma, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity 17:35 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 19:20 ate bananas, avocado, nuts 19:20 fragile nerves, trauma, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity, tiredeness 20:30 ate eggs and toast 20:40 trauma, low inner restlessness, depression, joint rigidity 21:00 same 22:30 ate toast 23:50 insomnia, trauma, low inner restlessness, depression, anxiety December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 11, 2021 Author Share Posted January 11, 2021 Jan 10 2021 3:40 (?) fell asleep 9:50 woke up 10:00 fell asleep 13:30 woke up 13:45 depression, anxiety, inner restlessness, trauma, joint rigidity 14:30 ate bananas 15:00 (?) ate rice, beans. broccoli, eggs 17:40 anxiety, inner restlessness, depression, trauma, joint rigidity 18:45 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 18:50 ate bananas 20:00 trauma, depression, anxiety, inner restlessness 20:22 ate eggs, toasts 21:30 ate bananas 21:40 trauma, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness 22:00 ate bananas 23:15 trauma, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 12, 2021 Author Share Posted January 12, 2021 Jan 11 2021 00:00 drank chamomile tea 3:00 still awake, insomnia, anxiety, depression, inner restlessness, trauma 3:30 (?) fell asleep 7:30 woke up 9:30 ate bread, drank juice 10:00 (?) fell asleep 15:30 woke up 15:30 increased anxiety, depression, trauma, fragile nerves, low inner restlessness 18:40 ate rice, beans, kale, potato, carrot 20:00 took 1.75 of Mirtazapine 20:10 anxiety, depression, trauma, low inner restlessness 22:45 ate bananas, avocado, cinnamon 23:00 trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, depression 23:55 drank chamomile tea December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 12, 2021 Administrator Share Posted January 12, 2021 How are you feeling, taking mirtazapine later in the day? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
malu Posted January 13, 2021 Author Share Posted January 13, 2021 On 1/12/2021 at 12:07 AM, Altostrata said: How are you feeling, taking mirtazapine later in the day? I don't feel any noticeable changes... Jan 12 2021 2:30 (?) ate fish 2:40 felt bad, vomited, increased anxiety, inner restlessness, trauma, depression 3:45 still feel bad because of the fish, anxiety, inner restlessness, trauma, depression 5:00 still didn't sleep, insomnia, trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, joint rigidity 5:30 (?) fell asleep 15:50 woke up 16:00 very depressed, cognitive impairment, trauma, anxiety, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity 17:45 ate bananas, mango, drank passion fruit juice 18:00 trauma, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity 20:00 (?) ate rice, beans, cabbage, potato, eggs, drank juice 21:00 took 1.75 of Mirtazapine 21:10 drank juice 21:50 (?) ate banana 22:50 trauma, anxiety, depression, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity 23:30 ate toast 23:35 trauma, anxiety, depression, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 14, 2021 Author Share Posted January 14, 2021 My sleep is messed up right now. Also I'm worried about when I'm going to change my med, like I'll have to decrease it. But I'm also afraid of it. Doubts about increasing and decreasing. Jan 13 2021 0:20 ate rice, lentils 3:54 insomnia, trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, depression, joint rigidity 5:20 still awake, insomnia, trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, depression, joint rigidity 8:00 same 8:15 ate omelets, banana 9:40 5:20 still awake, insomnia, anxiety, depression 10:00/10:30 (?) fell asleep woke up several times 18:30 (?) woke up 19:30 anxiety, low inner restlessness, trauma, depression, joint rigidity 20:30 (?) Ate eggs and toasts 21:20 anxiety, low inner restlessness, trauma, depression 21:55 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 22:51 anxiety, low inner restlessness, trauma, depression 23:00 ate a banana 23:30 anxiety, inner restlessness, trauma, depression December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted January 15, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 15, 2021 (edited) Hi malu, Yes, your sleep cycle looks like it is changing a bit. I'm seeing maybe 4 hours in the early morning and then a big old chunk of sleep, almost 8 hours, but in the day. You did note lots of little awakenings, but overall.......that's a lot of sleep. Are you able to work with someone locally on the trauma responses that come up? I would vote for decreasing your medication, but not right now. It's been about 3 weeks on the same dose and so you could go another 1-3 weeks before the next taper. I mean that's what I might do, if it were me. I think you've had some improvements over all. And I know it's still far from great, but you seem to be coping okay too. I mean I feel awful that you are stuck in trauma and low feelings some days. Some of that may even improve with just time too. Neuroemotions are really common WD symptoms. And although, no doubt you've had depression or low feelings before, and have had trauma as well, the neuroemotions make them even more supersized, if that makes sense. Just saying that, as it does get better. And sorry if I asked before, about if you had a therapist or someone to work with......... but sometimes finding a good ear, a counselor, or friend to listen and comfort, can work wonders too. Some will go on, and later do specific trauma therapy too. Others find ways to deal, or self help, and acknowledgement, etc. So.....don't let the tapering fears overcome you. Maybe you'll want to taper every 6 weeks, instead of 4. There's no huge pressure to go quickly here malu. You could even just HOLD now, for a few months, if you'd like........while working on just basics, sleep cycles, good nutrition, continued outside time, pick up some pleasant daytime distractions/hobbies/creative outlets, etc. And just be for now. Hoping that some of your "depression" is just of the seasonal variety too. As you move out from trauma, timewise......that can help somewhat too. It sounds like you are in a safe and beautiful environment for healing. And that's good too, malu. Work on that sense of safety now........be it some internal work, or with a therapist. Allow yourself to relax. Sometimes even just learning more meditative practices can and does help, mindfulness-staying in each moment, letting the emotions just flow in and out, and grabbing hold of the easier ones, any little joy or beauty. Non-drug techniques to cope is a good place to start to explore. Look at the indexed list in the first post and see what might appeal to you, now. Okay, thanks for the updates. And notes. Best, L, p, h, and G, mmt Edited January 15, 2021 by manymoretodays purple stuff, additional Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
malu Posted January 15, 2021 Author Share Posted January 15, 2021 2 hours ago, manymoretodays said: Hi malu, Yes, your sleep cycle looks like it is changing a bit. I'm seeing maybe 4 hours in the early morning and then a big old chunk of sleep, almost 8 hours, but in the day. You did note lots of little awakenings, but overall.......that's a lot of sleep. Are you able to work with someone locally on the trauma responses that come up? I would vote for decreasing your medication, but not right now. It's been about 3 weeks on the same dose and so you could go another 1-3 weeks before the next taper. I mean that's what I might do, if it were me. I think you've had some improvements over all. And I know it's still far from great, but you seem to be coping okay too. I mean I feel awful that you are stuck in trauma and low feelings some days. Some of that may even improve with just time too. Neuroemotions are really common WD symptoms. And although, no doubt you've had depression or low feelings before, and have had trauma as well, the neuroemotions make them even more supersized, if that makes sense. Just saying that, as it does get better. And sorry if I asked before, about if you had a therapist or someone to work with......... but sometimes finding a good ear, a counselor, or friend to listen and comfort, can work wonders too. Some will go on, and later do specific trauma therapy too. Others find ways to deal, or self help, and acknowledgement, etc. So.....don't let the tapering fears overcome you. Maybe you'll want to taper every 6 weeks, instead of 4. There's no huge pressure to go quickly here malu. You could even just HOLD now, for a few months, if you'd like........while working on just basics, sleep cycles, good nutrition, continued outside time, pick up some pleasant daytime distractions/hobbies/creative outlets, etc. And just be for now. Hoping that some of your "depression" is just of the seasonal variety too. As you move out from trauma, timewise......that can help somewhat too. It sounds like you are in a safe and beautiful environment for healing. And that's good too, malu. Work on that sense of safety now........be it some internal work, or with a therapist. Allow yourself to relax. Sometimes even just learning more meditative practices can and does help, mindfulness-staying in each moment, letting the emotions just flow in and out, and grabbing hold of the easier ones, any little joy or beauty. Non-drug techniques to cope is a good place to start to explore. Look at the indexed list in the first post and see what might appeal to you, now. Okay, thanks for the updates. And notes. Best, L, p, h, and G, mmt Hello. "Are you able to work with someone locally on the trauma responses that come up?" I started seeing a therapist, but I don't feel understood. She doesn't seem to get the extent of the trauma and not being able to function that I'm into right now, how my health physically and mentally is very compromised. The first days I had sessions with her there were times I couldn't even hold a conversation properly because of the akathisia. Now I can talk better (not so much I think, because I can't think straight all the time and the symptons, the trauma, the anxiety, the inner restlessness are present and makes it difficult) but I feel she doesn't get it, I was thinking of saying that to her. But I also can go to another person, I don't know. "I would vote for decreasing your medication, but not right now. It's been about 3 weeks on the same dose and so you could go another 1-3 weeks before the next taper. I mean that's what I might do, if it were me. I think you've had some improvements over all. And I know it's still far from great, but you seem to be coping okay too." Yeah, I even thought of increasing it too, I'll keep this dose for now. "Neuroemotions are really common WD symptoms. And although, no doubt you've had depression or low feelings before, and have had trauma as well, the neuroemotions make them even more supersized, if that makes sense. Just saying that, as it does get better." Yes, today I got anger and stress, and it "kindled" my nervous system a bit... Horrible. Also the desperation and stress. And sorry if I asked before, about if you had a therapist or someone to work with......... but sometimes finding a good ear, a counselor, or friend to listen and comfort, can work wonders too. Some will go on, and later do specific trauma therapy too. Others find ways to deal, or self help, and acknowledgement, etc." Yes, I want help. The one I went to is Jungian, I don't know to what extent it deals with trauma. "So.....don't let the tapering fears overcome you. Maybe you'll want to taper every 6 weeks, instead of 4. There's no huge pressure to go quickly here malu. You could even just HOLD now, for a few months, if you'd like........while working on just basics, sleep cycles, good nutrition, continued outside time, pick up some pleasant daytime distractions/hobbies/creative outlets, etc. And just be for now." In the moment I even have difficulty to do "distractions/hobbies/creative outlets", it's still difficult to relax and watch a movie, for example. "It sounds like you are in a safe and beautiful environment for healing." Not so much, because I live with people that are bad for me, but I feel that being stuck in this body feeling trauma physically, the desperation, the fragile nerves, being stuck in bad mental and physical health makes it difficult to enjoy any good enviroment. "And that's good too, malu. Work on that sense of safety now........be it some internal work, or with a therapist. Allow yourself to relax. Sometimes even just learning more meditative practices can and does help, mindfulness-staying in each moment, letting the emotions just flow in and out, and grabbing hold of the easier ones, any little joy or beauty. Non-drug techniques to cope is a good place to start to explore. Look at the indexed list in the first post and see what might appeal to you, now." All I want is to be able to relax and have mental and physical health. I feel my body and nerves are very fragile like it never were... I'm trying to let go of the past, the trauma brings it back, I have intrusive thoughts of going back and change what happened (it's impossible) and it's being hard to accept the present and the mistakes that destroyed my health. Thanks for the comment. Jan 14 2021 1:00 ate banana, mango 2:00 (?) ate rice, beans, kale, cabbage, sweet potato 2:30 trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, depression 8:00 (?) fell asleep woke up several times 16:00 (?) woke up 16:30 trauma, inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity 17:30 (?) ate bananas 18:30 trauma, burning nerves, inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity 19:40 ate eggs, toast 22:00 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 22:20 trauma, stress, anger, burning nerves, inner restlessness, depression, cognitive impairment, joint rigidity 22:40 increased depression, trauma, inner restlessness, burning nerves, joint rigidity 21:30 (?) ate bananas, avocado 23:40 depression, trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, joint rigidity December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted January 15, 2021 Administrator Share Posted January 15, 2021 What is your sleep schedule now, Malu? How has your sleep pattern changed? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
malu Posted January 16, 2021 Author Share Posted January 16, 2021 19 hours ago, Altostrata said: What is your sleep schedule now, Malu? How has your sleep pattern changed? I sleep in the morning and I wake up in the afternoon (after waking up several times). Sometimes I sleep more, sometimes less. Jan 15 2021 1:00 (?) ate rice, beans, vegetables 5:00 (?) fell asleep woke up several times 15:25 woke up 16:10 trauma, depression, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity 18:20 (?) ate rice, beans, cabbage, broccoli 21:00 (?) ate avocado, bananas 21:30 trauma, anxiety, low inner restlessness, depression 22:08 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 23:30 ate eggs, toasts 23:30 trauma, anxiety, low inner restlessness, depression December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 17, 2021 Author Share Posted January 17, 2021 The trauma response persists. The akathisia and inner restlessness got better since when I started the med, but I still have little hope, I'm not functional, I'm in trauma all the time. Side effects of Mirtazapine were the cognitive impairment, the increased joint rigidity, and I think something with the nerves (the trauma response has to do with the fragile nerves), because even when I was having the huge akathisia, the times when I had "truce" moments were more normal than now. I feel horrible all the time. Jan 16 2021 00:30 (?) ate eggs, toasts 3:00 trauma, anxiety, depression, inner restlessness 5:00 (?) fell asleep woke up several times 15:00 (?) woke up 16:00 trauma, low inner restlessness, depression, joint rigidity 18:00 ate banana, apples, drank juice 19:20 trauma, anxiety, low inner restlessness, depression, joint rigidity 21:30 (?) ate rice, beans, cabbage, banana 22:10 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 23:10 trauma, anxiety, low inner restlessness, depression, cognitive impairment, joint rigidity 23:40 ate eggs on toast 23:55 trauma, anxiety, low inner restlessness, depression, cognitive impairment, joint rigidity December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 18, 2021 Author Share Posted January 18, 2021 Jan 17 2021 5:30 (?) fell asleep woke up several times 15:05 woke up 15:05 trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, depression, joint rigidity 15:30 (?) ate bananas 17:30 (?) drank juice 18:30 (?) ate rice, beans, cabbage, broccoli, eggs 19:53 trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, depression, joint rigidity 20:30 (?) drank a little bit of lemon balm tea 21:20 trauma, increased inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity 21:21 drank more lemon balm tea 21:25 drank juice 22:10 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 23:55 trauma, inner restlessness, anxiety, depression, joint rigidity December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 19, 2021 Author Share Posted January 19, 2021 Jan 18 2021 3:50 ate toasts and eggs 5:30 fell asleep 10:30 woke up 11:45 (?) fell asleep 16:20 (?) woke up 16:50 increased trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, depression, joint rigidity 19:00 still feeling cortisol spike (?), anxiety, trauma response, inner restlessness, depression 21:00 ate rice, beans, cabbage, potato, drank juice 22:20 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 23:00 big trauma, desperation, depression, anxiety, inner restlessness, joint rigidity December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted January 19, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 19, 2021 On 1/14/2021 at 8:49 PM, malu said: "It sounds like you are in a safe and beautiful environment for healing." Not so much, because I live with people that are bad for me, but I feel that being stuck in this body feeling trauma physically, the desperation, the fragile nerves, being stuck in bad mental and physical health makes it difficult to enjoy any good enviroment. "And that's good too, malu. Work on that sense of safety now........be it some internal work, or with a therapist. Allow yourself to relax. Sometimes even just learning more meditative practices can and does help, mindfulness-staying in each moment, letting the emotions just flow in and out, and grabbing hold of the easier ones, any little joy or beauty. Non-drug techniques to cope is a good place to start to explore. Look at the indexed list in the first post and see what might appeal to you, now." All I want is to be able to relax and have mental and physical health. I feel my body and nerves are very fragile like it never were... I'm trying to let go of the past, the trauma brings it back, I have intrusive thoughts of going back and change what happened (it's impossible) and it's being hard to accept the present and the mistakes that destroyed my health. Hi malu, Well, any chance of a move to somewhere with better people around? And any chance of getting in more exercise, or even body movement........for example Yoga, or TaiChi, or something that moves you into your body and a beginning sense of safety there, while taking you out of your mind and thoughts, even just gradually. You might ask the one that you went to, about doing something like this........as I'd hate to have you go it alone, without someone available to help you process. I found a couple things on youtube. And Bessell van der Kolk, is good. Google the name, as he is also and author, and some of his work may appeal to you now. This seems a bit odd, how the majority of your sleep is in the daytime now. I'm not sure just what to make of that right now, or suggest. Did you sleep at all between 23:55 and 3:50 am, when you had something to eat, in those last notes? Okay, and best, L, P, H, and G, mmt Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
malu Posted January 19, 2021 Author Share Posted January 19, 2021 1 hour ago, manymoretodays said: Hi malu, Well, any chance of a move to somewhere with better people around? And any chance of getting in more exercise, or even body movement........for example Yoga, or TaiChi, or something that moves you into your body and a beginning sense of safety there, while taking you out of your mind and thoughts, even just gradually. You might ask the one that you went to, about doing something like this........as I'd hate to have you go it alone, without someone available to help you process. I found a couple things on youtube. And Bessell van der Kolk, is good. Google the name, as he is also and author, and some of his work may appeal to you now. This seems a bit odd, how the majority of your sleep is in the daytime now. I'm not sure just what to make of that right now, or suggest. Did you sleep at all between 23:55 and 3:50 am, when you had something to eat, in those last notes? Okay, and best, L, P, H, and G, mmt "Well, any chance of a move to somewhere with better people around?" No, I'm not funcional and there's the pandemic, and I don't have another place to go right now... "And any chance of getting in more exercise, or even body movement........for example Yoga, or TaiChi, or something that moves you into your body and a beginning sense of safety there, while taking you out of your mind and thoughts, even just gradually. You might ask the one that you went to, about doing something like this........as I'd hate to have you go it alone, without someone available to help you process." Can I do yoga or taichi by watching videos on Youtube? I could try it."I found a couple things on youtube. And Bessell van der Kolk, is good. Google the name, as he is also and author, and some of his work may appeal to you now." I heard that name before but I didn't search anything about him. I'll see the videos and search for him. I don't feel in the place to read a book right now, it's difficult right now, I'll search for videos. "This seems a bit odd, how the majority of your sleep is in the daytime now. I'm not sure just what to make of that right now, or suggest. Did you sleep at all between 23:55 and 3:50 am, when you had something to eat, in those last notes?" I didn't. December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted January 19, 2021 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted January 19, 2021 Yes of course malu, my gosh youtube is a lifesaver sometimes. I think those 2 I posted were yoga, definitely watch and listen to what Bessel says on that video. And yes, I encourage you to search out and see what more you can find on youtube. Let us know too, if something is helping that you found. Others may benefit. And here's to some sleep tonight, eh? And yes, makes sense to stay put right now. Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
malu Posted January 20, 2021 Author Share Posted January 20, 2021 Jan 19 2021 1:24 ate bananas 6:00 still awake, didn't sleep, 6:00 trauma, anxiety, depression, low inner restlessness 7:15 ate eggs, toast 9:30 (?) drank juice 10:20 very insomniac, anxiety, inner restlessness, trauma 10:25 ate avocado and bananas 12:00 insomnia, anxiety, inner restlessness, trauma 12:10 (?) fell asleep 17:00 woke up 17:10 fell asleep 18:45 woke up 20:40 cortisol spike, trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, fragile nerves, depression 20:50 ate bananas 22:20 took 1.75mg of Mirtazapine 23:30 ate rice, beans, cabbage, kale, pumpkin, potato, bananas 23:45 trauma, cortisol spike, anxiety, inner restlessness, fragile nerves, depression December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
malu Posted January 22, 2021 Author Share Posted January 22, 2021 Jan 20 2021 4:30 ate avocado and bananas 5:30 still awake, trauma, inner restlessness, anxiety, depression 6:00 (?) fell asleep 13:15 woke up 13:30 (?) fell asleep 15:00 (?) woke up 15:15 depression, trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, joint rigidity 18:00 same 18:30 ate eggs 18:50 (?) ate rice, beans, kale cabbage 19:30 depression, trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, joint rigidity 21:25 ate avocado and bananas 23:50 depression, trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, joint rigidity Jan 21 2021 04:51 4:50 didn't sleep yet, insomnia, depression, trauma, anxiety, inner restlessness, joint rigidity 6:50 still awake 8:30 (?) fell asleep woke up several times 17:30 woke up 18:00 trauma, cortisol spike, depression, inner restlessness, anxiety, joint rigidity 19:15 ate bananas 21:40 ate rice, beans 21:50 ate eggs 22:15 (?) fell asleep 22:50 woke up 23:55 trauma, depression, anxiety, low inner restlessness, joint rigidity December 2012 to October 2015: Escitalopram January 2015 (I think) to October 2015: Nortriptyline (Pamelor) October 2015 to January 2016: Sertraline (stopped it cold turkey) April 2016: Aripiprazole (Aristab) May 2016 to July 2016: Sertraline July 2016 to January 2017: Pristiq 50 mg January 2017 to March 2017: tapering off of Pristiq by cutting the pills. Supplements: used magnesium chloride, b12. Sensitivity to it in my nervous system. December 2019: Mirtazapine 4.5mg and stopped at almost zero. Used to take Spironolactone 200 mg and estradiol 4 mg pills regularly until beggining of 2020. Estradiol gel on Sep. and Oct. of 2020 and was having collateral effect in my nervous system. First half of 2020: Symbicort (corticosteroid) 19 December 2020: Mirtazapine 2mg 21 December 2020: Mirtazapine 1.75mg Link to comment
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