Hazel: struggling with Paxil to Prozac bridge

[DaveB]

13 minutes ago, Hazel said:

Yes, I’m sure that makes a big difference that you went back to the drug you were on for a long time.  I wish I would have found this site before switching, but now I just have to hope that eventually I will stabilize on Paxil.  

 

You will get there, how long have you been keeping everything the same and holding? Wouldn't you say you are doing better now than your were a few months ago? Seems like from your thread you have been stable at times on Paxil, but then changes get made and it throws you off again, is this accurate? 

[Cheeky]

Hun I’ve seen many cases like yours and yes it takes time but they always stabilise eventually, just hang in there and know it will happen.

[Hazel]

I don’t know that I would say I’m better now than a couple of months ago-maybe the same?  I would say that I typically throw things off for myself by doing something dumb like taking lorazepam or something to help me sleep when I am feeling desperate.  I am just holding steady now and have stayed away from alcohol, benzos, and hydroxyzine for several months now.  I’m so glad to hear that you’ve seen many cases like mine stabilize-I need the reassurance😊

[Cheeky]

3 hours ago, Hazel said:

I don’t know that I would say I’m better now than a couple of months ago-maybe the same?  I would say that I typically throw things off for myself by doing something dumb like taking lorazepam or something to help me sleep when I am feeling desperate.  I am just holding steady now and have stayed away from alcohol, benzos, and hydroxyzine for several months now.  I’m so glad to hear that you’ve seen many cases like mine stabilize-I need the reassurance😊

Hazel I have learnt the hard way, we cant touch anything because our system is so sensitive, that has probably made things more difficult for you  to stabilize. 

[DaveB]

On 3/12/2018 at 7:38 PM, Hazel said:

I don’t know that I would say I’m better now than a couple of months ago-maybe the same?  I would say that I typically throw things off for myself by doing something dumb like taking lorazepam or something to help me sleep when I am feeling desperate.  I am just holding steady now and have stayed away from alcohol, benzos, and hydroxyzine for several months now.  I’m so glad to hear that you’ve seen many cases like mine stabilize-I need the reassurance😊

 

How are you hazel? Haven't heard from you for a bit, hopefully getting a window?

[Hazel]

Hi Dave,

I actually have been a bit hesitant to post anything because I have been feeling a lot better over the past week and a half or so, and was afraid to jinx things.  I did want to respond to you since I see you are having a hard time of things lately and wanted to give you hope.  I’m not sure how long this window I am in will last, but I am happy to say it is the longest one I have experienced since I made the switch from Zoloft to Lexapro to Paxil.  

I really was doubting that I would ever stabilize on Paxil since it was Zoloft that I had been on for so long, but now I feel that I can and will stabilize.  I’m sure you will too.  I think the best thing you can do right now is hold.  I know holding is really hard when you feel so bad, but making any changes at this point will only likely make things much worse.  I learned that the hard way more than once.

I hope this gives you some hope to hold on to that you will get better.  I am well aware that things could change in the next minute and I will feel the horrible anxiety and insomnia again, but I am trying to enjoy this break for now.  I feel as close to normal as I have in over a year.  Please know you are not going to feel as bad as you do now forever.  I believe we all stabilize at some point and I hope your time comes very soon😊

Hazel

[DaveB]

2 hours ago, Hazel said:

Hi Dave,

I actually have been a bit hesitant to post anything because I have been feeling a lot better over the past week and a half or so, and was afraid to jinx things.  I did want to respond to you since I see you are having a hard time of things lately and wanted to give you hope.  I’m not sure how long this window I am in will last, but I am happy to say it is the longest one I have experienced since I made the switch from Zoloft to Lexapro to Paxil.  

I really was doubting that I would ever stabilize on Paxil since it was Zoloft that I had been on for so long, but now I feel that I can and will stabilize.  I’m sure you will too.  I think the best thing you can do right now is hold.  I know holding is really hard when you feel so bad, but making any changes at this point will only likely make things much worse.  I learned that the hard way more than once.

I hope this gives you some hope to hold on to that you will get better.  I am well aware that things could change in the next minute and I will feel the horrible anxiety and insomnia again, but I am trying to enjoy this break for now.  I feel as close to normal as I have in over a year.  Please know you are not going to feel as bad as you do now forever.  I believe we all stabilize at some point and I hope your time comes very soon😊

Hazel

 

Wow what a positive post and makes me feel so much better. I know you have been very up and down like me, so you getting a window like this gives me much hope!

[Songbird]

Very happy to hear that you've been feeling better recently!

[Hazel]

Thanks Songbird,

I kind of ruined it for myself though.  We had a little mini vacation earlier this week with friends and I decided to have an adult beverage and am now regretting it.  Woke up early with anxiety today and it’s still hanging around.  I thought maybe I could get away with it, but clearly not.  I just hope this passes soon.  The window I was in sure felt good.

Hazel

[DaveB]

3 hours ago, Hazel said:

Thanks Songbird,

I kind of ruined it for myself though.  We had a little mini vacation earlier this week with friends and I decided to have an adult beverage and am now regretting it.  Woke up early with anxiety today and it’s still hanging around.  I thought maybe I could get away with it, but clearly not.  I just hope this passes soon.  The window I was in sure felt good.

Hazel

 

Well regardless you have had a nice window and know you can get there again. You are going to be ok and you know you can stabilize on Paxil. That is HUGE!

[Hazel]

Thanks Dave.  I am trying to keep this in mind.  I’m feeling better now, so hopefully it will be a short wave.  I hope you are feeling better?

[DaveB]

10 minutes ago, Hazel said:

Thanks Dave.  I am trying to keep this in mind.  I’m feeling better now, so hopefully it will be a short wave.  I hope you are feeling better?

 

Felt really pretty good last night, but this morning I am back in the thick of it again.

[Songbird]

18 hours ago, Hazel said:

Thanks Songbird,

I kind of ruined it for myself though.  We had a little mini vacation earlier this week with friends and I decided to have an adult beverage and am now regretting it.  Woke up early with anxiety today and it’s still hanging around.  I thought maybe I could get away with it, but clearly not.  I just hope this passes soon.  The window I was in sure felt good.

Hazel

 

Well, at least you've learned that your system can't tolerate that kind of beverage - and that your system does know how to stabilise if you leave it alone for a good while - it should settle down again.

[Hazel]

Yes, I know I just need to stay away from alcohol-so not worth it!  I am feeling better today, so hopefully I will stabilize soon.

[Hazel]

I had a bad night last night and it’s continuing into the morning.  I haven’t had anxiety this high in a long time.  I was doing pretty well over the weekend with some ups and downs with anxiety, but nothing like this!

My dog woke me up around 2:00 am to go outside and when I went back to bed I heard a noise like the tv or radio going on in another room.  I didn’t think too much of it at first, but then it started to bother me because I couldn’t figure out what it was since everyone was sleeping.  I started feeling anxious so I got up and checked around, but couldn’t figure out what it was I heard.  I have been up and feeling super anxious ever since.  I know it must be nero-emotions since it’s really not a big deal, but I can’t stop obsessing about it.  I feel crazy even writing this, but I just need to share so I don’t feel so alone.  

This really sucks especially since I had a great day yesterday.  I just hope it passes soon😞

[DaveB]

3 hours ago, Hazel said:

I had a bad night last night and it’s continuing into the morning.  I haven’t had anxiety this high in a long time.  I was doing pretty well over the weekend with some ups and downs with anxiety, but nothing like this!

My dog woke me up around 2:00 am to go outside and when I went back to bed I heard a noise like the tv or radio going on in another room.  I didn’t think too much of it at first, but then it started to bother me because I couldn’t figure out what it was since everyone was sleeping.  I started feeling anxious so I got up and checked around, but couldn’t figure out what it was I heard.  I have been up and feeling super anxious ever since.  I know it must be nero-emotions since it’s really not a big deal, but I can’t stop obsessing about it.  I feel crazy even writing this, but I just need to share so I don’t feel so alone.  

This really sucks especially since I had a great day yesterday.  I just hope it passes soon😞

 

Sorry Hazel, that really sucks. remember it is just a blip, you are doing so well. Just like we know the good times can flip so quickly, try to remember so can the bad. Saturday and Sunday morning I felt back at square one with no hope of ever getting better, then Sunday afternoon it just kind o switched and I am doing much better since. You are going to have times that feel as bad as ever, but they are going to get shorter and be days and hours of feeling terrible instead of weeks and months of the past. 

[Hazel]

Thanks so much for your positive reply Dave!  It helps so much to have support from others.  I feel a little better now, so I am hopeful that the worst has passed.  I am so glad to hear you are doing better.  I hope things continue to go well for a nice long time-you deserve it😊

[Cheeky]

5 hours ago, DaveB said:

 

Sorry Hazel, that really sucks. remember it is just a blip, you are doing so well. Just like we know the good times can flip so quickly, try to remember so can the bad. Saturday and Sunday morning I felt back at square one with no hope of ever getting better, then Sunday afternoon it just kind o switched and I am doing much better since. You are going to have times that feel as bad as ever, but they are going to get shorter and be days and hours of feeling terrible instead of weeks and months of the past. 

Hazel there’s nothing to worry about, one step behind six steps forward. Your doing great and that was just a little hiccup.

[Hazel]

1 hour ago, Cheeky said:

Hazel there’s nothing to worry about, one step behind six steps forward. Your doing great and that was just a little hiccup.

I hope so.  I am still feeling pretty anxious. Today was up and down all day just trying to make it through the work day.  I hate days like this.  I’m sure the fact that “my time of the month” is just starting isn’t helping at all.  I always have a hard time when it come around.  Thanks for the encouragement Cheeky.

[Cheeky]

38 minutes ago, Hazel said:

I hope so.  I am still feeling pretty anxious. Today was up and down all day just trying to make it through the work day.  I hate days like this.  I’m sure the fact that “my time of the month” is just starting isn’t helping at all.  I always have a hard time when it come around.  Thanks for the encouragement Cheeky.

100%, when I'm due all the withdrawal comes back, at least you know why it is. you just have to hang in there.

[Hazel]

Thanks Cheeky.  It does help to understand why, but it still really sucks to feel so anxious.  How are you feeling today?

[Cheeky]

Okay today, so far, it really does suck, I keep on thinking  what my life would’ve been like if this hadn’t happened, I was a completely different person before, I had so much confidence , multitasker and a really hard worker, now I’m a vulerable person scared  every morning wondering how my day will be.

[DaveB]

11 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

Okay today, so far, it really does suck, I keep on thinking  what my life would’ve been like if this hadn’t happened, I was a completely different person before, I had so much confidence , multitasker and a really hard worker, now I’m a vulerable person scared  every morning wondering how my day will be.

 

I totally know the feeling, what I would give to be able to go back a year and taper correctly, or heck go back 10 years and tell the doctor where he could put his pills. I don't know, the Zoloft helped me stabilize after a rough anxiety year, but maybe that would have happened anyway. I am like you though, I mourn the person I used to be. I am SO sick of the anxiety, it makes EVERYTHING in life SO hard!

[Hazel]

14 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

Okay today, so far, it really does suck, I keep on thinking  what my life would’ve been like if this hadn’t happened, I was a completely different person before, I had so much confidence , multitasker and a really hard worker, now I’m a vulerable person scared  every morning wondering how my day will be.

I often think of that too.  I was happy and hard working as well.  Days like this I feel like I can barely make it through the day at work.  I think the hardest thing is when I feel like it takes away from my being able to enjoy time with my kids.  I pray for a window for both of us very soon.

[Hazel]

7 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

I totally know the feeling, what I would give to be able to go back a year and taper correctly, or heck go back 10 years and tell the doctor where he could put his pills. I don't know, the Zoloft helped me stabilize after a rough anxiety year, but maybe that would have happened anyway. I am like you though, I mourn the person I used to be. I am SO sick of the anxiety, it makes EVERYTHING in life SO hard!

Same here Dave.  The anxiety is the absolute worst.

[DaveB]

On 3/26/2018 at 6:09 PM, Hazel said:

I often think of that too.  I was happy and hard working as well.  Days like this I feel like I can barely make it through the day at work.  I think the hardest thing is when I feel like it takes away from my being able to enjoy time with my kids.  I pray for a window for both of us very soon.

 

Exactly, being a Dad is my favorite part of life, and I feel I am missing out on it lately. How are you doing?

[Hazel]

1 hour ago, DaveB said:

 

Exactly, being a Dad is my favorite part of life, and I feel I am missing out on it lately. How are you doing?

I am okay.  Monday was awful, yesterday was good and today has been mostly okay with some anxiety sprinkled in here and there.  I just hope to feel good and stay feeling good for a nice long stretch.  How are you feeling today?

[DaveB]

26 minutes ago, Hazel said:

I am okay.  Monday was awful, yesterday was good and today has been mostly okay with some anxiety sprinkled in here and there.  I just hope to feel good and stay feeling good for a nice long stretch.  How are you feeling today?

You will, you had a nice long window and you will again. Just need to stay away from the alcohol for a few months until your nervous system is more robust and not so sensitive. I am up and down, I feel I am getting there (or at least getting out of my latest wave). Having some good evenings again, mornings are still a struggle, but I am at least optimistic I am on the right track again. 

[Hazel]

Glad to hear you are getting out of your latest wave.  Mornings can be really hard for me too.  It’s rare that I don’t wake up with anxiety, so it sure feels good when I wake anxiety free.  I hope you continue to feel better and better.  I think we will both get there.😊

[DaveB]

How are you doing Hazel?

[Hazel]

Hi Dave,

I have been doing pretty well the last couple of days.  It helps that I was off of work yesterday and today.  I don’t go back till Tuesday, so the break is nice.  How have you been doing?  Are you adjusting better to the decrease in caffeine?

[DaveB]

1 hour ago, Hazel said:

Hi Dave,

I have been doing pretty well the last couple of days.  It helps that I was off of work yesterday and today.  I don’t go back till Tuesday, so the break is nice.  How have you been doing?  Are you adjusting better to the decrease in caffeine?

 

That is so good you have been doing well, I was doing much better the last few days, but seem to be in the thick of it today. It wasn't that long ago when I was seeing improvements and telling you to stick with the Paxil and encouraging you it would get better, seems our roles have reversed a bit. 

[Hazel]

4 hours ago, DaveB said:

 

That is so good you have been doing well, I was doing much better the last few days, but seem to be in the thick of it today. It wasn't that long ago when I was seeing improvements and telling you to stick with the Paxil and encouraging you it would get better, seems our roles have reversed a bit. 

Sorry to hear you are struggling today.  I will tell you the same-stick with the Paxil and keep the faith.  Eventually things will start to even out and you will see improvement.  I had a hard time believing I would stabilize on the Paxil for the longest time, but finally I now believe I will, and I’m sure you will too.  Unfortunately it takes much longer than we’d like.

[DaveB]

On 3/31/2018 at 7:05 PM, Hazel said:

Sorry to hear you are struggling today.  I will tell you the same-stick with the Paxil and keep the faith.  Eventually things will start to even out and you will see improvement.  I had a hard time believing I would stabilize on the Paxil for the longest time, but finally I now believe I will, and I’m sure you will too.  Unfortunately it takes much longer than we’d like.

 

Thanks for the reminder. I do believe I will stabilize, but as you said, the time-frame kind of sucks!

[Hazel]

I’ve been struggling more off and on the past few days.  It’s hard because I felt like I was past this and on my way to stabilizing,  but now I feel like I’m back to where I was over a month ago.  I barely slept at all last night-was up with anxiety that just wouldn’t let up.  I now have to get myself and kids up and ready for school/work.  Not sure what is causing this current wave, but I pray it passes soon.  Just needed to vent a little😞

[DaveB]

4 hours ago, Hazel said:

I’ve been struggling more off and on the past few days.  It’s hard because I felt like I was past this and on my way to stabilizing,  but now I feel like I’m back to where I was over a month ago.  I barely slept at all last night-was up with anxiety that just wouldn’t let up.  I now have to get myself and kids up and ready for school/work.  Not sure what is causing this current wave, but I pray it passes soon.  Just needed to vent a little😞

 

I am sorry Hazel, and I know the feeling! It is just a blip, you will get past it and into an even longer period of relief. Did you change anything? I hate playing the game of "what did I do to cause it?" Sometimes the answer is nothing and you just need to give it time to work its way out. I am very sorry you find yourself here again, it is so frustrating when you have been feeling good to feel like you are going backwards.