success ☼ Sunnyday: go back up in dosage?

[Carmie]

8 hours ago, Sunnyday said:

Hi @Miracle123 and @Carmie.

'm going to the gynecologist this Wednesday because I suspect that is at least part of the problem because of where the pain is located. Hopefully he will find something. 

I'm pretty sure part of the problem is the stress. Every time I'm going somewhere my stomach starts hurting, it's as if the body has learned to react that way and does it no matter where I'm going now (related to stress from social situations). It hurts really bad too.  Hopefully when I get more used to being in social situations it will get better, but for now I'm not sure how to solve it. Trying my best to relax and handle stress in different ways.

 

Hope both of you are doing okay and thanks for coming in here, been very inactive on here mainly because of stressful life at the moment. 

 

Hi Sunnyday, 

 

Please let us know how you go at the doctors

 

If you get stomach pains every time you are going somewhere, it does sound like your emotions are causing it. It’s like when people feel a real sense of dread in their stomach when they are afraid. Have you ever FasterEFT or EFT to tap away the emotions? 

 

Take care, sending hugs🤗

[Sunnyday]

Thank you @Carmie, will do. 

 

I tried it a few years ago for other issues but never tried it long enough to see if it actually worked. But I did read about it in your thread and was tempted to give it another try! I might do that. Anything that works for the stomach pains would be worth a lot at this point.

[Sunnyday]

Update.

It looks like i'm always unwell because I mostly come back here when I don't feel well, but I have had more and more happy days. Lately it has been mostly good days but every evening it for some reason plummets and anxiety and depression gets really bad together with the tics. Not sure why it happens every evening, but I am so thankful that during the daytime when I'm actually doing things I have felt very decent. So the evenings are very manageable because I know it will be fine the next day (more or less). 

 

PMS now though, so I feel very distraught and depressed.

I especially think a lot about how much my personality has changed for the worse the past two years. I also get it confirmed from people around me that I have changed. They are understanding but it's like grieving your old self. Especially because it has been so long now and I'm still not back to how I was, personality wise. I'm talking about good traits that I once had that has been replaced with negative traits. Hopefully I will get back to how I was completely eventually, but right now it just feels a bit hopeless. But my judgement is probably clouded at the moment as well.

 

Physical symptoms that are problematic right now are tics and severe stomach pains (from mainly stress, I think).

[Miracle123]

Hi Sunnyday, 

Myself also inactive into this forum too for sometime and when im free i will look into it for a while. 

So sorry to hear that about your stomach and stressful life. Not easy for us to handle especially still in withdrawal with emotional up and down. When stressful hit me, i will find some distraction like exercise with earphone stuff into my ear to enjoyed musics in the morning before work.This help me .....beside that meditation or watching drama series to get out stressful. i will do anything or try any to ride out from stressful.Stressful and depression can harm our emotional and health if continous for long time which is not good. I hope you can get out from this dark depression sooner. 

Hope you will get best solution from your doctor and the result come back positive for you. A lots love and hugs from me. Thinking of you and take care.

 

[Carmie]

Hi Sunnyday, 

 

That’s great you’re getting windows, and that they last for a lot of the day, it shows that your brain is healing. I’m really sorry you’re grieving your old self, but one of these days you will come out of that cocoon and become the beautiful butterfly you once were. Just because we don’t feel like yourself during withdrawals doesn’t mean we will always be like that. Our brain really have a marvellous ability to heal.

 

As Miracle said, it’s good to find distractions when you’re feeling stressed. I have millions of them ( a hyperbole ) 😁

 

Take care💚

Edited March 21, 2019 by Carmie

[Sunnyday]

Thank you @Miracle123. I try to do different things to cope with the stress and I think it will also get better in the summer when it's not so dark over here, less depression. And I will also have gotten a big trip over with that I am nervous about. And thank you also for reminding me of the small things I can do for the stomach, seems easy to forget when a lot is going on.

Hope you're still doing decent, many hugs to you and thinking about you too.

 

Hi @Carmie, thank you for saying that. It's good with reassurance because it is easy to start doubting at times even though I should know by know it gets better. I've already noticed a lot of improvement. Distractions are super helpful for sure! I use them a lot too, especially during the evenings that is more or less all I do. 

You take care as well.

[Carmie]

Glad you’re noticing improvements Sunnyday💚

[Sunnyday]

If a mod or anyone who has taken this or a similar medication would respond I would be very grateful!

 

Was at the gynecologist, he wants me to take Provera, a synthetic hormone (progestin) because he suspects I have endometriosis. I'm not sure what to do really. The side effects are very similar to birth control pills, so depression is one of them and that scares me. Messing around with my hormones feels risky, but my stomach is very problematic now. But it also makes me wonder why it has gotten so much worse the past months compared to before. I'm thinking that if it is endometriosis my immune system could have gotten weaker from the constant stress and that's why it has worsened, but of course I'm just speculating. 

I am very unsure of if I should take this or not so someone who has a bit of insight would be very appreciated.

[Carmie]

Hi Sunnyday, 

 

What did you decide as regards the Provera? There is a thread in symptoms and self care entitled: Female Hormone Issues, Peri Menopausal, Menopause, WD Or Something Else that you might like to check out. Also, just go up to the search button on this page and press Provera. 

 

Sending hugs🤗

[Miracle123]

Hi Sunnyday,

This remember myself in the early stage of withdrawals.im faced with hormone imbalance and mess up with my menstrual flow never stop for almost 3 weeks for first time. Im so nervous and affraid. See doctor , she suspect my hormone fluctuate and recomended me to take hormone pills. She give me 1 months supply and i took it for few days continues. To be sure my withdrawals flare up high, so much depression and so nervous. Im cannot control my tears to drop ended up im crying and park at the road side. That time really shocking my hubby. He though something worsed happen. Im stop to take any hormones pills now.

Im just share my experience my dear........not to hold or stop you from taking provera. Trying and see how your body reaction. To be true.....im hear from my friends or relative told me about side effect of hormones pills will link to breast cancer and depression. 

Hope you can survey more detailing into this forum as per Carmie recommend you. Im glad you finally find out your stomach problem. Take good care and wishing you all the best in your healing and recovery. A lots hugs from me...❤️

[Peachy]

On 4/4/2019 at 6:11 AM, Miracle123 said:

This remember myself in the early stage of withdrawals.im faced with hormone imbalance and mess up with my menstrual flow never stop for almost 3 weeks

Hello! Did you experience waves of deep depression and mood swings during pms? I’ve been having horrible oms amd llokimg for others where this healed? My last few periods have been 1 week oms, 1 week spotting, 1 week heavy period. The whole time I’m a wreck emotionally. 

How long were you on Lexapro, what dose, and how long did you taper? 

Thanks for any healing encouragement! 

[Miracle123]

6 hours ago, Peachy said:

Hello! Did you experience waves of deep depression and mood swings during pms? I’ve been having horrible oms amd llokimg for others where this healed? My last few periods have been 1 week oms, 1 week spotting, 1 week heavy period. The whole time I’m a wreck emotionally. 

How long were you on Lexapro, what dose, and how long did you taper? 

Thanks for any healing encouragement! 

Hi Peachy, I will going into your thread......

[Miracle123]

Hi Sunnyday,

How are you? Hope you are doing well and fine...All the best in your healing and recovery.Take care. Love and a lots hugs from me.

[Sunnyday]

Thanks for the advice @Carmie I did take a look in that thread back then . Thank you also for sharing @Miracle123 , it's always good to hear other people's experiences.

I decided not to take Provera for now. I'm travelling abroad in a few weeks and don't want to upset my body (or mind) right before that. I am a bit worried it will be difficult to handle the journey with my stomach problems but I will just have to do it and see what happens because the ticket is payed for.

The doctor did not 100% confirm endometriosis for the record, but thought it might be likely. So if it is that I think that together with a nervous stomach is what's causing the biggest issues. Or just a nervous stomach, because I am having symptoms of gastric catarrh still.

 

As usual now I am pretty inactive on here because life is a lot to take in still, to be honest. Trying to destress as best as I can though. I think this journey that I booked so long beforehand has caused a lot of unnecessary stress but I've learned my lesson to not book it so far in advance. But I think when that's done I will be able to relax more.

 

The only new update I have I think is that I'm trying a new probiotic. The last one I had didn't do make of a difference, but at least it didn't make it worse.

 

Hope all of you are doing okay. It's a waiting game!

[Carmie]

Hi Sunnyday, 

 

I hope you have a nice time abroad. Yes, when we are sick everything can feel overwhelming, I hope you are able to relax on your holiday. Don’t put any “musts” into your holiday, just try and take it an hour at a time and enjoy the new surroundings. I love taking photos, if you love photography that’s something to look forward to.

 

Sending hugs🤗

[Sunnyday]

On 4/21/2019 at 2:13 AM, Carmie said:

Hi Sunnyday, 

 

I hope you have a nice time abroad. Yes, when we are sick everything can feel overwhelming, I hope you are able to relax on your holiday. Don’t put any “musts” into your holiday, just try and take it an hour at a time and enjoy the new surroundings. I love taking photos, if you love photography that’s something to look forward to.

 

Sending hugs🤗

Thank you Carmie. I'm sorry I haven't been able to come into your thread more often lately. Many hugs.

[Sunnyday]

I'm leaving in a week and I'm very nervous. I'm going to meet someone and I'm starting to doubt if I actually want this. I suspect it's my fear that is making up excuses in my head not to go, but at the same time I feel I will do it either way because money is invested from both me and the other person. I don't think that's a good reason to do it, but the stress tends to take all the fun out of a situation so at the moment that is almost the only reason I'm not calling it off. 

Lots of neuro emotions too, they have been one of the biggest issues throughout my withdrawal.

 

My biggest worry is that because I don't feel enough that I want it along with the nervousness I'll break down in front of people. I cry a lot easier nowadays unfortunately. But it is what it is at this point.

 

Tics is going berserk as usual, stomach is not any better and my mood is still up and down, so apart from the stress I'm not any better or worse off than I have been for the past few months. Always very thankful when a good day comes still, feels like a slight miracle every time. Silly but true.

 

This is just an update. I accept the situation for what it is even though it is painful at the moment.

[Sunnyday]

Another update, I feel completely different now. Just to show how quickly and dramatically it changes throughout the day. I feel excited now and happy about it. Hopefully this feeling will be more frequent rather than the other one.

[Sunnyday]

Just want to say a genuine thank you to everyone who keep this site going. I feel even when I have difficulties in life unrelated to withdrawal I get the urge to go on here because the support and atmosphere is amazing. Not sure who will see this but either way I am thankful for finding this. And when I go back on here it also puts everything in perspective. The tools here given to cope with withdrawal can many times be used for life in general and even though I feel very sad at the moment I feel some kind of peace coming on here.

 

Thank you! @Altostrata for making this happen and the rest of you.

[intothewoods]

38 minutes ago, Sunnyday said:

Just want to say a genuine thank you to everyone who keep this site going. I feel even when I have difficulties in life unrelated to withdrawal I get the urge to go on here because the support and atmosphere is amazing. Not sure who will see this but either way I am thankful for finding this. And when I go back on here it also puts everything in perspective. The tools here given to cope with withdrawal can many times be used for life in general and even though I feel very sad at the moment I feel some kind of peace coming on here.

 

I feel the same way, @Sunnyday. What a lovely post. 

[Carmie]

Hi Sunnyday, 

 

How have you been doing?💚

[Sunnyday]

On 6/28/2019 at 9:02 AM, Carmie said:

Hi Sunnyday, 

 

How have you been doing?💚

Hi Carmie, I've been doing relatively good for the most part. Haven't had access to a computer for a while so there hasn't been a good opportunity to go on here. Hope you're doing okay as well. 💚

[Sunnyday]

Small update because I'm on mobile this time. 

Over all I feel I can handle life a lot better even if it bothers me a lot that I'm still not back to who I was, regarding pretty fundamental (in my opinion) personality traits. One of these are the inability I had to feel jealousy, I almost never had ut and especially not outside of relationships with people. I feel it so often now in areas that I never felt it before. For example if someone is noticeably better than me at the skill I'm working hard on and that I'm passionate about, I can feel a pretty deep sadness about me not being able to or having reached that standard. That stuff never bothered me before and it makes me sad that I've become that kind of person. It makes different struggles in life a lot harder. I try to make it go away by reasoning with myself in different ways but it seems very "instinctual" if I put it that way.

Other than that I feel a lot of stress and I'm still having stomach issues, but I feel stronger mentally and that means a lot. 

[Altostrata]

Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

[Sunnyday]

Thank you @Altostrata. That sun almost felt like a trophy, made my day. 

[Carmie]

Glad to see you’re continuing to recover Sunnyday, yay!🎉

[manymoretodays]

Hi Sunnyday,

And wow, congrats!  How are you coming along now, at approximately 1 year and 8 months off?

And what does the Ca stand for in your signature?

Last off your benzo, I see.

 

Lexapro(escitalopram) was one of my last ones to get off too.  And phew.......so thankful for all the help I got here, in that process of understanding, and then tapering, as well re-framing some of my experiences......so I could thrive again......instead of just survive.  Must mention all the non-drug coping skills and other life skills gained in the whole process.

 

Okie doke.

Just thought I'd stop on by to celebrate a bit with you.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

[Carmie]

Hi Sunnyday, 

 

Thanks for dropping around my neck of the woods. I’m sorry you’ve been really busy and stressed. I hope that things settle down for you soon. How is your stomach doing? 

 

I’m so happy that you’re off all your meds. You are an inspiration to all of us on here, sending hugs your way🤗

[Sunnyday]

On 8/20/2019 at 7:11 PM, manymoretodays said:

Hi Sunnyday,

And wow, congrats!  How are you coming along now, at approximately 1 year and 8 months off?

And what does the Ca stand for in your signature?

Last off your benzo, I see.

 

Lexapro(escitalopram) was one of my last ones to get off too.  And phew.......so thankful for all the help I got here, in that process of understanding, and then tapering, as well re-framing some of my experiences......so I could thrive again......instead of just survive.  Must mention all the non-drug coping skills and other life skills gained in the whole process.

 

Okie doke.

Just thought I'd stop on by to celebrate a bit with you.

 

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

Hi manymoretodays, 

 

I am a lot better. It's such a big difference and I still feel a bit amazed at the fact that I'm so close to my normal self now. There are still sides of me (sides that I don't like) that seemed to come from the WD and that are still very prevalent, but since I'm feeling much better over all those sides are easier to control now and to not be as harsh with myself about it. I have hope that those sides will eventually go away too if I work towards being the kinda person I want to be and was before. 

 

The Ca stands for circa, it might be a more common abbreviation in my language than in english, not sure. 

 

I am extremely thankful too for all the help I have gotten here. I'm not sure where I would have turned to if I had not found SA. Just being understood in such a strange and rough situation is worth everything. 

 

I can see you have a lot of history with this too so it's very admirable that you seem to be in a relatively good place today (?). Will visit your thread. 

 

Thank you for stopping by and same to you

[Sunnyday]

On 8/25/2019 at 11:09 AM, Carmie said:

Hi Sunnyday, 

 

Thanks for dropping around my neck of the woods. I’m sorry you’ve been really busy and stressed. I hope that things settle down for you soon. How is your stomach doing? 

 

I’m so happy that you’re off all your meds. You are an inspiration to all of us on here, sending hugs your way🤗

 

My stomach is doing a lot better right now as long as I'm at home. Leaving home is still a struggle so with very important errands I do take over the counter-medication occasionally. But hopefully one day I won't have to do that either.

 

Thank you Carmie! And you as well. Hoping for the best possible outcome for you with this recent taper.

Hugs

[Carmie]

On 8/26/2019 at 11:51 PM, Sunnyday said:

 

My stomach is doing a lot better right now as long as I'm at home. Leaving home is still a struggle so with very important errands I do take over the counter-medication occasionally. But hopefully one day I won't have to do that either.

 

Thank you Carmie! And you as well. Hoping for the best possible outcome for you with this recent taper.

Hugs

 

Glad to hear your stomach is a bit better when you’re home Sunnyday, 

 

Do you find that the stress of leaving your home makes it ramp up? Yes, one day all these awful symptoms from these meds will be gone. 

 

Thanks for your kind wishes, my taper is going okay so far, though it’s only day two.😁 Wishing you all the best in your continued recovery 💚

[Sunnyday]

14 hours ago, Carmie said:

 

Glad to hear your stomach is a bit better when you’re home Sunnyday, 

 

Do you find that the stress of leaving your home makes it ramp up? Yes, one day all these awful symptoms from these meds will be gone. 

 

Thanks for your kind wishes, my taper is going okay so far, though it’s only day two.😁 Wishing you all the best in your continued recovery 💚

 

Yes definitely, that's the biggest issue for me. I read it's very common for a problematic stomach during stress. Seems like a very subconscious thing because there are times where I don't feel stressed at all but the stomach does it everytime I'm leaving home more or less. 

 

Hopefully the waves will stay away for a while like last time!

Thank you and same to you. 

[Sunnyday]

Update. Waves still always come during my periods and PMS in the form of severe depression and some anxiety, stomach also worsens. I had one time recently where I didn't get into a wave during it which was really surprising since I was bracing myself for it as usual. Felt very thankful about that. 

 

Something that has been very important for me is to have the right people around me during withdrawal (the few times I decide it's better than being by myself). It's difficult when you have the "wrong" people around you, so to speak. Slows down recovery a lot at least for me, but sometimes it's not possible to get away from the people you would do better off without, at least when you're in WD because it's harder to "protect" one self from what it entails to be around them. I also want to repeat what is well known here about keeping a low profile, in all kinds of ways. It's easy to forget that when you start to feel a bit better but I notice that as soon as I don't follow it it usually ends badly in some way still. 

 

When I can't get away from the people I feel I should get away from I try to manage it internally instead. Meditation and focusing on myself and my goals/objectives helps with that, and also to keep reminding myself to not take on problems I can't do anything about  and that not all problems are my problems, since that seems to be a tendency I have. So pretty much comforting myself in my head I guess. It has become a habit now and I feel like that makes it even more effective because I actually listen to my own advice. Brainwashing myself in a way. 

 

I think writing it is a way to reinforce it in myself at the moment. I've just had some personal issues and this made the depression "flare up" a lot. But I do think these things are very important and maybe good to document, even if only for myself.

 

Edited September 3, 2019 by manymoretodays
just spacing

[manymoretodays]

On 8/26/2019 at 7:41 AM, Sunnyday said:

I am a lot better. It's such a big difference and I still feel a bit amazed at the fact that I'm so close to my normal self now. There are still sides of me (sides that I don't like) that seemed to come from the WD and that are still very prevalent, but since I'm feeling much better over all those sides are easier to control now and to not be as harsh with myself about it. I have hope that those sides will eventually go away too if I work towards being the kinda person I want to be and was before. 

 

The Ca stands for circa, it might be a more common abbreviation in my language than in english, not sure. 

 

I am extremely thankful too for all the help I have gotten here. I'm not sure where I would have turned to if I had not found SA. Just being understood in such a strange and rough situation is worth everything. 

Hi Sunnyday,

I can relate.  This whole thing has been a positive growth experience for me. 

 

And ugh, sorry to hear about the pre menstrual and menstrual stuff.  I guess I was lucky, in that, I no longer had to deal with the cycles.  When I came here I was already menopausal.  Which can be great, by the way.........something to look forward to!

 

Yes, me too, extremely thankful that my journey brought me here.

 

Good stuff too, that you are sharing.  Thank you.   And don't be shy.  Your written language usage is great.  Do a bit of traveling around, as comfortable doing, and if you'd like, you can support some of the other members who may be struggling.   And contribute from your own experiences on some of the other topics.

Thanks so much for being here.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited September 3, 2019 by manymoretodays

[Carmie]

Hi Sunnyday, 

 

How are you doing?💚

[Sunnyday]

On 9/20/2019 at 7:05 AM, Carmie said:

Hi Sunnyday, 

 

How are you doing?💚

 

Hi Carmie! I am doing okay, especially compared to the past.  I feel the ''new life'' if you could call it that is stressful, which is why I'm very inactive on here.  I feel there are constant small hurdles to get past. Manageable but uncomfortable. Hope you are doing okay, gonna see how you're doing in your thread. Thank you for checking on me despite my own inactivity.