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thecowisback: wondering why I'm giving up Prozac

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ChessieCat
10 hours ago, thecowisback said:

i keep reading that it takes 4 days for the drugs to work in the body and longer for them to register in the brain, but does this take longer for prozac because of the long half life? 

 

Because of the long half life of Prozac it may take about a week to about 10 days for it to get to full / stable level in the blood.

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thecowisback

👍👍👍

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thecowisback

13/04

7 am took 3.5 mg prozac. quite anxious. went for a long walk after breakfast. 

11. am took kids out for the day. high anxiety and intrusive thoughts. 

6.30 came home and ordered takeaway for dinner. still very anxious. 

8.00 watched a film with the family. anxiety easing. itching on left leg started again.

12.30 took candesartan 4 mg,sage 50mg, levothyroxine 75mcg. went to bed. fell straight to sleep and apart from waking briefly at 5 am slept until 6.30 

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thecowisback

i must be in a middle of a really bad wave. i cannot stop crying tonight. i cannot stop thinking about everything i did wrong in my life and all the times i let my family down (which have been many). i just want all this to end. something must give soon. 

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GonnaBeOk

Sending you much love TCIB. 

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thecowisback

thankyou xxx i'm on here in the middle of the night as i can't stay asleep. everything seems so huge and overwhelming right now. every mistake i made in the past, everything i imagine going wrong in the future. i can't even put into words what i'm scared of as if just writing it down will somehow magically make my fears come true (if that really could happen i'd write down all my dreams so they could come true ha ha ha!!!!)

how can it be that the further along i get in withdrawal the worse i'm getting mentally?

i thought it was all supposed to get slowly better as time went along - windows would get longer and more frequent etc. i feel like i'm treading water at best and slowly slipping under the surface the rest of the time. 

every morning i wake up with a little prayer to my own mind that it will be different today. that i won't suddenly remember or think up some random **** to be absolutely terrified of for the rest of the day and night. i want my brain to be normal, boring, thinking a million and one random tedious thoughts each day instead of constantly looping through the same scary thoughts with some new ones thrown in for good measure now and then. 

sorry for the rant. i don't know how else to vent. my family get so cross with me if i try telling them how i feel. they just tell me to stop thinking so much and ask why i worry so much about things that are done and are in the past. they can't understand why i'm so worried about a future i cannot predict. i know it makes no logical sense. i miss the old me before withdrawals. i miss the old me before i took the meds tbh. that person was scared of everything but she was nowhere near as afraid as i am now.

my latest obsession is being under surveillance from tech stuff in the house. i hate this bloody device the family have bought that you can ask questions. i think it's listening nd recording me all the time. i think my smartphone is listening. i think the webcam is always recording and keep covering it up. i think the neighbours can hear my conversations through the walls (you can hear a hell of a lot through our walls as it's such an old house but it's just noise - i'm convinced they can hear everything i say)

it's 3.30 and i have to take a friend to the hospital in the morning so i really must try to get back to sleep.

 

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powerback
5 hours ago, thecowisback said:

thankyou xxx i'm on here in the middle of the night as i can't stay asleep. everything seems so huge and overwhelming right now. every mistake i made in the past, everything i imagine going wrong in the future. i can't even put into words what i'm scared of as if just writing it down will somehow magically make my fears come true (if that really could happen i'd write down all my dreams so they could come true ha ha ha!!!!)

how can it be that the further along i get in withdrawal the worse i'm getting mentally?

i thought it was all supposed to get slowly better as time went along - windows would get longer and more frequent etc. i feel like i'm treading water at best and slowly slipping under the surface the rest of the time. 

every morning i wake up with a little prayer to my own mind that it will be different today. that i won't suddenly remember or think up some random **** to be absolutely terrified of for the rest of the day and night. i want my brain to be normal, boring, thinking a million and one random tedious thoughts each day instead of constantly looping through the same scary thoughts with some new ones thrown in for good measure now and then. 

sorry for the rant. i don't know how else to vent. my family get so cross with me if i try telling them how i feel. they just tell me to stop thinking so much and ask why i worry so much about things that are done and are in the past. they can't understand why i'm so worried about a future i cannot predict. i know it makes no logical sense. i miss the old me before withdrawals. i miss the old me before i took the meds tbh. that person was scared of everything but she was nowhere near as afraid as i am now.

my latest obsession is being under surveillance from tech stuff in the house. i hate this bloody device the family have bought that you can ask questions. i think it's listening nd recording me all the time. i think my smartphone is listening. i think the webcam is always recording and keep covering it up. i think the neighbours can hear my conversations through the walls (you can hear a hell of a lot through our walls as it's such an old house but it's just noise - i'm convinced they can hear everything i say)

it's 3.30 and i have to take a friend to the hospital in the morning so i really must try to get back to sleep.

 

Hi TCIB ,your up because you cant sleep and your bringing a freind to hospital ,I understand you dont mind doing these things but can you see the pressure you put on yourself doing this .

 

Over the last year I was the king of doing too much and it deeply affected me .

 

Is this help even being reciprocated in your favour.

 

The other day i was relaxed for the evening (I was somewhat content) and I got a call from a neighbour to break into there house (elderly alcoholic) ,theyd fallen upstairs .ambulance was rang, it was all well in the end.I got home and couldn't relax for the night.the irony of me having to help others didn't pass me by( move over and let me into the ambulance beside you I thought ) .its great to help but we need to limit and notice when to pull back.

Your far from alone with all this "smart" technology awareness ,not a chance ide have a suri or alexa in my house.

Take care and we keep challenging our withdrawal stinking thinking.its awful thats for sure.

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thecowisback

thankyou. tbh the help is rarely reciprocated. i do find that me having access to a car means people assume i can just drop everything to take them p!aces or ferry their kids around. my husband says i'm a soft touch but i can never think of a good reason to give people to say no. i guess i need to learn to be more assertive!

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powerback
17 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

thankyou. tbh the help is rarely reciprocated. i do find that me having access to a car means people assume i can just drop everything to take them p!aces or ferry their kids around. my husband says i'm a soft touch but i can never think of a good reason to give people to say no. i guess i need to learn to be more assertive!

The last thing I want is to give your withdrawal brain something to thrash you over .I wouldn't call you a soft touch but we can people please .its very tricky to find the fine line.

Theres givers and takers and eventually the giver realizes its too much pressure.

You are under a lot of pressure in withdrawal .theres a big difference from bringing other kids to skool ,if your going to same skool ,to not sleeping and having to bring someone to hospital the next next morning.eventually you will need to say no .that comes from a fellow withdrawal sufferer .

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thecowisback

👌👌👌

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thecowisback

14/04

7 am took 3.5mg prozac. 

very tired. very anxious for most of the day. 

3.00 pm went a long walk with the kids. feeling very scared. 

5.00 pm cooked dinner. tearful. 

6.30 started crying really badly. 

8.00 panic attack started. took myself off to bed so i wouldn't upset the family. stayed there for the rest of the evening. very very scared. tried listening to music on headphones to calm down. tried deep breathing excercises. talked to a relative on the phone which helped a little. 

11.00 took took candesartan 4 mg,sage 50mg, levothyroxine 75mcg. went to bed but up in the early hours of the morning panicking about ocd thoughts again. fell asleep around 5.45 am. 

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Maryb
12 hours ago, thecowisback said:

thankyou xxx i'm on here in the middle of the night as i can't stay asleep. everything seems so huge and overwhelming right now. every mistake i made in the past, everything i imagine going wrong in the future. i can't even put into words what i'm scared of as if just writing it down will somehow magically make my fears come true (if that really could happen i'd write down all my dreams so they could come true ha ha ha!!!!)

how can it be that the further along i get in withdrawal the worse i'm getting mentally?

i thought it was all supposed to get slowly better as time went along - windows would get longer and more frequent etc. i feel like i'm treading water at best and slowly slipping under the surface the rest of the time. 

every morning i wake up with a little prayer to my own mind that it will be different today. that i won't suddenly remember or think up some random **** to be absolutely terrified of for the rest of the day and night. i want my brain to be normal, boring, thinking a million and one random tedious thoughts each day instead of constantly looping through the same scary thoughts with some new ones thrown in for good measure now and then. 

sorry for the rant. i don't know how else to vent. my family get so cross with me if i try telling them how i feel. they just tell me to stop thinking so much and ask why i worry so much about things that are done and are in the past. they can't understand why i'm so worried about a future i cannot predict. i know it makes no logical sense. i miss the old me before withdrawals. i miss the old me before i took the meds tbh. that person was scared of everything but she was nowhere near as afraid as i am now.

my latest obsession is being under surveillance from tech stuff in the house. i hate this bloody device the family have bought that you can ask questions. i think it's listening nd recording me all the time. i think my smartphone is listening. i think the webcam is always recording and keep covering it up. i think the neighbours can hear my conversations through the walls (you can hear a hell of a lot through our walls as it's such an old house but it's just noise - i'm convinced they can hear everything i say)

it's 3.30 and i have to take a friend to the hospital in the morning so i really must try to get back to sleep.

 

I can so relate to this all and I don't know how I'm managing to get to the office and functioning here.  I don't know who I am and I'm so very sick.  I'm in severe withdrawal and don't know if I will ever heal. The mornings are horrific - i don't know if I'm thinking in my dreams or if I'm actually awake.  I do this because I am obsessing about work and how will I be able to get up every day and get ready and act normal.  I was so normal and happy before I asked doctor to help me get off duloxetine.  I'm still in PAWS and it's over one year now.  Haven't made any changes to my medication for 7 months.  I think I should just cold turkey - as it's not working.  I think everyone can hear me too in my apartment.  I walk around on egg shells and there is no one there.  This is just horrific and I don't know where to go to express my thoughts and what is going on daily.  Thank you for your listening.  I hope we heal and get better.  Btw, I'm all alone with no help fighting for my life.

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thecowisback

sorry to hear you're going through such a terrible time!! p!ease don't cold turkey, it will probably make things a whole lot worse 😢😢😢

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RichT
4 hours ago, thecowisback said:

14/04

7 am took 3.5mg prozac. 

very tired. very anxious for most of the day. 

3.00 pm went a long walk with the kids. feeling very scared. 

5.00 pm cooked dinner. tearful. 

6.30 started crying really badly. 

8.00 panic attack started. took myself off to bed so i wouldn't upset the family. stayed there for the rest of the evening. very very scared. tried listening to music on headphones to calm down. tried deep breathing excercises. talked to a relative on the phone which helped a little. 

11.00 took took candesartan 4 mg,sage 50mg, levothyroxine 75mcg. went to bed but up in the early hours of the morning panicking about ocd thoughts again. fell asleep around 5.45 am. 

 

I’m Sorry you’re suffering so deeply. Fear and anxiety are, for me, the hardest and most horrible symptoms to bear, so I can empathise with what you’re going through. 

 

Sending you warmest wishes

 

R

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thecowisback

thankyou 💙

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Rosetta

The fear is so hard to live with.  It will go away someday.  Fear of the future has been very serious for me.  Thoughts of the past, too.  It's awful.  The paranoia is, unfortunately, normal for many of us suffering from ADWD induced dysautonomia.  It will also go away someday.  I have it, too, and it's so much less severe than before.  I can ignore it now.  At one time I couldn't.  

 

It's also normal to be "getting worse."  That's a wave.  They can be long sometimes and it will appear that you are getting worse and worse.  You are still healing even when you feel horrible.  It's very slow, and the fact that's it's not linear is extremely difficult on one's psyche.  

 

I'm sorry your family doesn't understand.  They can't, and eventually you will feel grateful for that as the only way to understand is to experience it for oneself.  We can only hope for their compassion.  If you can try to practice self compassion.   You are doing the best you can.  You went for a walk even though you were afraid.  I've done that. It's hard, but it's good for you and the kids.  Eventually, you won't be afraid to go for a walk.  You will want to go.  For now, you are making it happen.  That's an accomplishment.  Give yourself a pat on the back.  That's like skydiving for a normal person!!  Good job!

 

Rosetta

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thecowisback

💛💚💙 thankyou rosetta x

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thecowisback

does anyone know if this is due to updosing or have i got a virus? 

i went from 3.5g to 4g of prozac yesterday. early this morning while i was in bed i found every time i turned over it felt like the whole room was tipping upside down. now i'm up i've got vertigo and i feel nauseous. in addition to this is i've got a pain in my lower back. i didn't do anything to aggravate it yesterday as far as i know so i'm wondering if it's all connected to the updose or is it just a coincidence? had anyone else experienced anything like this? 

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powerback
1 hour ago, thecowisback said:

does anyone know if this is due to updosing or have i got a virus? 

i went from 3.5g to 4g of prozac yesterday. early this morning while i was in bed i found every time i turned over it felt like the whole room was tipping upside down. now i'm up i've got vertigo and i feel nauseous. in addition to this is i've got a pain in my lower back. i didn't do anything to aggravate it yesterday as far as i know so i'm wondering if it's all connected to the updose or is it just a coincidence? had anyone else experienced anything like this? 

Hi TCIB it seems a little early to put it down to the up dose ,your systhem is already being taxed with this proccess .

Winter hasnt lost its grip yet so colds and viruses are stil around.

My lower back was at me the other day and it went away (i used deep heat cream ),the missus doesnt like the smell ,her perfume anoys me so we are even lol).dont let your withdrawal brain freak you out ,itl calm down.

Rest and take time for yourself.

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thecowisback

😄 my husband is the same with anything stinky. i daren't use air freshener or even an incense stick in the house when he:s at home! 

i guess it's a lurgy then one of our kids has one right now so i may have been lucky enough to catch it. it really caught me by surprise in the night as i thought in my half-sleep the whole house had been turned upside down!

 

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thecowisback

14/04

7am took 4mg prozac. very scared this morning. 

took friend to hospital appointment and went for a long walk while waiting. ocd very bad this morning. lack of sleep in the night making things worse. 

1pm had lunch. very tired but unable to nap because of the whirlwind of thoughts in my head. read a lot this afternoon to distract myself.

5 pm cooked dinner and chatted to a relative on the phone for distraction. 

7.20 itching started on left leg and tingling in ankles. tingling went after about an hour but itching continued. used aloe vera gel. 

spent a lot of the evening watching the destruction of notre dame cathedral on tv. made me very sad so had to turn off and watched a history documentary instead. 

11 pm too candesartan 4 mg, levothyroxine 75 mcg, sage 50mg. went to bed. 

slept straight though to 5 am then ft the room spinning. dozed on and off until 7. very dizzy when i got up.

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powerback
14 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

😄 my husband is the same with anything stinky. i daren't use air freshener or even an incense stick in the house when he:s at home! 

i guess it's a lurgy then one of our kids has one right now so i may have been lucky enough to catch it. it really caught me by surprise in the night as i thought in my half-sleep the whole house had been turned upside down!

 

The smell of lillys drives me nuts and that's before withdrawal lol.

Our defences are down with this process ,youl need to rest .

With the amount of reading ive done up on chemicals and the effects it has on our body's when our defenses are down amazes me .

I open windows rather than keep going on about stuff to my partner because itl get in on her and anoyI her.

Lots of vitiman c will help any dose your have.

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thecowisback

👍

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thecowisback

just been to the doctor begging for help. he was useless. he said i didn't have ocd because i don't check and count things. he said he'd refer me to the mental health signposting service where they can assess what help i need. i've been through them twice before and both times they said i had to go on a cbt course which i couldn't make because of other commitments. when i told them that they told me off like a naughty schoolkid. i actually wrote to the guy who designed the course and asked if he did it on cd or anything similar and he recommended his book which i bought and studied. it was just the same stuff i'd been on courses for before in the past. 

i nearly walked out the doctors office. he just kept talking over me, even when i told him i was suicidal. i feel like no-one can help me with this anymore. i just want to throw in the towel and say i'm done with this life. i'm sick of fighting it all. my family keep telling me to pull myself together. there is no end in sight. 

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Maryb
27 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

just been to the doctor begging for help. he was useless. he said i didn't have ocd because i don't check and count things. he said he'd refer me to the mental health signposting service where they can assess what help i need. i've been through them twice before and both times they said i had to go on a cbt course which i couldn't make because of other commitments. when i told them that they told me off like a naughty schoolkid. i actually wrote to the guy who designed the course and asked if he did it on cd or anything similar and he recommended his book which i bought and studied. it was just the same stuff i'd been on courses for before in the past. 

i nearly walked out the doctors office. he just kept talking over me, even when i told him i was suicidal. i feel like no-one can help me with this anymore. i just want to throw in the towel and say i'm done with this life. i'm sick of fighting it all. my family keep telling me to pull myself together. there is no end in sight. 

Oh TCIB, I can so relate.  I don't want to die but I don't know how much more I can withstand.  I'm so sick and I want some relief.  No one in the medical industry can help us but they certainly harmed us.  I'm barely holding on.I'm fighting for my life.  I'm crying SOBBING as I write this to you at my desk at work.  I don't even know how I am here. I feel for you and for all of us going through such horrific withdrawals. 

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thecowisback

you're an amazing person mary - how you manage to hold down a job through all this i have no idea - you are a hell of a lot stronger than you think!!!!! 

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Sassenach

It may not be in sight but is always there to be achieved.

You must stop beating yourself up and overthinking everything.

This site is the best but too much time looking at other's problems will not help you.

Suicide should not be used a threat even in desperation, you are worth more than that.

Think how your family would feel even if you believe they are not helping now, you know they love you.

You have to put yourself first ( I know easier said etc. )

If you want help you need to stop letting " other commitments " get in the way again easier said.

You are obviously in a very bad place right now so maybe you should seek specific mental care.

I am really sorry if this sounds like tough love, I really feel for you.

If you are floundering you cannot afford to stop swimming.

Please spend time with your family tonight and get through.

Tomorrow decide if you need more help, this is the UK we have NHS, it may not be perfect but there are good people there.

 

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thecowisback

the only thing keeping me here is my family. i would have given up long ago if i didn't have them. i feel like i'm screaming for help and no-one is listening (apart from on here). 

my family say i need to go back and see another doctor and tell them how i feel and how rude the one was i saw today. the trouble with our practice is you never see the same doctor twice so they never had any idea of my history apart from scanning my notes for a couple of seconds when i first go in there. i find myself having to condense my life story into about 10 seconds of dialogue before they type a new prescription for meds into the computer and send me on my way. the pillock i saw earlier actually told me to private if i wanted more help. 

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Sassenach

I do know that feeling from my GP appt. last week and when it is so bad for you I do not see how a GP can help.

I don't know how to say this without offending you and admit I know nothing about mental health issues, so I will just say it.

You seem to have issues way beyond withdrawal which is horrific.

Do not ask, demand help either via GP or direct using online info.

However do not demand it unless you will go along with it.

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Maryb
37 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

you're an amazing person mary - how you manage to hold down a job through all this i have no idea - you are a hell of a lot stronger than you think!!!!! 

Thank you TCIB, I don't know how much longer I can keep getting up at 7am and getting dressed to get to the office only to fear the stress I will go through by my boss.  I thank you very much for your kind words though.  I will try to keep fighting.  That's all I can do.  Sending prayers.

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thecowisback

thankyou both. i'm going to go offline for a bit to see if i can recharge my batteries xxxxx

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Maryb
21 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

thankyou both. i'm going to go offline for a bit to see if i can recharge my batteries xxxxx

Yes, that sounds like a good idea.  Please try to rest and maybe take a nap if at all possible.  Thinking of you.  Xoxo 

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GonnaBeOk

TCIB: wondering if it is dosage related bc I updosed .25mg today and now after a few hours my head feels really really really weird (new) and my mouth is really dry (new). And of course I still feel completely  horrid. As for you, I would not rule out dose change as causing symptoms. 

 

And wanted to let you know I 100% empathize with everything you are going thru. Everything. This is a wretched experience. Sending hugs and strength. 💖

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RichT
5 hours ago, thecowisback said:

just been to the doctor begging for help. he was useless. he said i didn't have ocd because i don't check and count things. he said he'd refer me to the mental health signposting service where they can assess what help i need. i've been through them twice before and both times they said i had to go on a cbt course which i couldn't make because of other commitments. when i told them that they told me off like a naughty schoolkid. i actually wrote to the guy who designed the course and asked if he did it on cd or anything similar and he recommended his book which i bought and studied. it was just the same stuff i'd been on courses for before in the past. 

i nearly walked out the doctors office. he just kept talking over me, even when i told him i was suicidal. i feel like no-one can help me with this anymore. i just want to throw in the towel and say i'm done with this life. i'm sick of fighting it all. my family keep telling me to pull myself together. there is no end in sight. 

 

People here understand what you are going through. Don’t give up, you can do it. You could try another GP practice.

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thecowisback

haven't been reading much on here all week and have been avoiding social media in general hoping it would help with the intrusive thoughts but it hasn't. 

yesterday was just terrible - really bad rumination about past mistakes in my life. keep thinking i was a terrible parent to my kids. i keep asking them if i let them down and they say they hate being asked that. i know i've got to deal with my thoughts in my own head and stop seeking reassurance. 

before stopping meds i never had this problem and now it consumes my whole being when it's bad and tells me i was and still am a really terrible person. 

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Carmie

Hi thecowisback, 

 

I’m really sorry you’re struggling so much, these medications can certainly do awful things to our emotions. I wish I could take away your pain. 

 

Sending hugs your way🤗

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