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thecowisback

thecowisback: wondering why I'm giving up Prozac

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powerback
Just now, thecowisback said:

this person has a lot of problems of their own and i always seem to be their emotional punchbag. no chance of avoiding them sadly 😑 

Point them in the direction of help because its not fair on you even without what your dealing with in withdrawal.

Take care.

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thecowisback
3 minutes ago, powerback said:

Point them in the direction of help because its not fair on you even without what your dealing with in withdrawal.

Take care.

i've tried, believe me. they always tell me it's only me who's at fault and that i bother them with my ocd compulsions purely to make their lives more miserable. i really wish i could turn off my ocd and anxiety with a switch, and i am trying very hard to manage my anxiety and compulsions but it's slow going and every time i trip up they make me feel like a complete failure. 

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powerback
Just now, thecowisback said:

i've tried, believe me. they always tell me it's only me who's at fault and that i bother them with my ocd compulsions purely to make their lives more miserable. i really wish i could turn off my ocd and anxiety with a switch, and i am trying very hard to manage my anxiety and compulsions but it's slow going and every time i trip up they make me feel like a complete failure. 

Yep its tricky ,ive been on both sides of this issue ,I owned up to my faults and and am much better at resovlving a situation.saying that im dealing with strong guilt emotions from my past behaviour.withdrawal is just marvelous.

Ide consider a counselor to referee persay in your "issues"going further,both sides have to see there faults in a situation or it could become untenable in the future.

Take care.

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thecowisback

i'm not sure where to put this post so feel free to move it to where it's meant to be. there was a post on here a few days ago from a husband whose wife had been posting on here about withdrawals after having her baby,  but she had walked out of the house. i think they were in new york does anyone know what's happened since then? i can't find the thread. 

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thecowisback

thankyou 😊

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Rosetta

Hi.  How are you doing? -Rosetta

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thecowisback

hi rosetta. not toooooo bad thankyou. i had a 2-3 day window earlier this week which was lovely. back to earth with a bump now but hoping more windows will come. 

how are you doing? 

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Tweet

Hi, thecowisback. 

Glad you had a nice window.

😊

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thecowisback
51 minutes ago, Tweet said:

Hi, thecowisback. 

Glad you had a nice window.

😊

 

 

thankyou 😀

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thecowisback

when does the racing heartbeat ever stop? this was one of the first withdrawal symptoms i had and 2 years on it's still a daily problem. i've followed the dare programme for a couple of years and that's helped me carry on with things daily despite the fact that my heart is always racing. i've been checked out at the doctors and no heart problems but this symptom just carries on and on. the only time it stops is when i get a rare window. 

surely having your heart thumping like this all the time can't be good for you? 

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thecowisback

a bit of an update. last week i had a 5 day window - the longest yet since this all started. it was bliss!!!! on the 6th day i started to obsess about something and the panic started all over again. 

i also felt off colour the same day and by the next day i had a full-blown stinker of a cold. the panic, obsessive thoughts and doom and gloom have been with me since but i wonder how much of that is caused by being ill and lack of sleep because i can't stop coughing. 

 

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puthappinessfirst

Hi Cow,

 

I am in a sort of wave right now and it has to do with many things...

 

Went to a friend's wedding which was so fun but hectic, was up late each night I was away, got the flu or something else very nasty right after it, had to get a steroid injection for my asthma/lungs, ran out of magnesium the week before and didn't get more, started my period, switched over to full liquid dose. WOW, writing that out I just realized how much that all is. They all seem like such "normal" things, but they start to stack up against the nervous system. So don't worry, you and I both will get another window soon!

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thecowisback

wow- that is a lot of stuff happening at once! hope your windows come back soon!! xxxx

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RichT
2 hours ago, thecowisback said:

a bit of an update. last week i had a 5 day window - the longest yet since this all started. it was bliss!!!! on the 6th day i started to obsess about something and the panic started all over again. 

i also felt off colour the same day and by the next day i had a full-blown stinker of a cold. the panic, obsessive thoughts and doom and gloom have been with me since but i wonder how much of that is caused by being ill and lack of sleep because i can't stop coughing. 

 

 

Great news about the window. I hope you have another one soon!

 

R

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thecowisback

thankyou ☺

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thecowisback

so i had a 5 day window, 5 day wave, a one day window yesterday(which was marvellous) and back in a wave today (panicking over the simplest of things again and ruminating over past mistakes). 

is it normal for there to be no pattern whatsoever with waves and windows? 

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Altostrata

That is correct, there is no pattern to waves and windows. Good to hear you had windows recently.

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thecowisback

thankyou ☺ i always read about how windows gradually get longer and waves get shorter but having a read around the site it seems it's far.more random than that 😕

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thecowisback

i thought i was doing so well lately but here i am up in the middle of the night in the midst of huge panic. 

i had some unwelcome news today which has sent me into a tailspin. i'm panicking so much. my family say i'm overreacting but i just can't see why they aren't as scared as i am. i'm exhausted from panicking and crying all evening. everything feels hopeless. 

i had another window yesterday and didn't expect a wave to hit this hard.

i just don't know how to cope when it's this bad   😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

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thecowisback

no sleep all night. i'm absolutely petrified!! why has this happened? 😰😰😰 i've been doing so much better lately and now i feel like i've been hit by a truck. i just cannot put into words how scared i'm feeling. 

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RichT
1 hour ago, thecowisback said:

no sleep all night. i'm absolutely petrified!! why has this happened? 😰😰😰 i've been doing so much better lately and now i feel like i've been hit by a truck. i just cannot put into words how scared i'm feeling. 

 

I’m sorry to hear this, Cowisback. You’ve had some bad news and you’re sensitised by withdrawal so it’s bound to affect you more strongly than it otherwise would. Fear is one of the worst feelings to have, isn’t it? If you feel safe enough to share what the news was, i’m sure people here would be happy to help. If it’s too difficult, then that’s quite understandable too.

 

When I experienced deep fear, what helped me most was doing an activity that forced my mind to concentrate on something else. In my case that was playing the piano and doing Sudoku (badly). 

 

Warmest wishes,

 

Rich

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thecowisback

thankyou. i can't really share it but it's something i have to do on monday and i'm so bloody scared about it. my family say it will all be fine and to concentrate on something else but this event is all that fills my head right now 😢😢

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thecowisback

3rd day in a wave. i can't stand much more of this. the fear is neverending. i keep telling myself this will pass but i'm so bloody scared right now. i feel like i must have been a really bad person to deserve feeling like this 😣😣😣😣😣

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thecowisback

just logging so i can hopefully look back on this when i'm feeling better.

 

i cannot stand this fear. i want it to end. i would do anything to stop it right now.

i have to carry on as normal looking after my family and appearing normal to the outside world but i am screaming inside. just make the fear stop!!!!!!!! just make it end. i can't take much more of this. i just don't know how to make it go away. 😰😰😰😰😰😰😰

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RichT
53 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

just logging so i can hopefully look back on this when i'm feeling better.

 

i cannot stand this fear. i want it to end. i would do anything to stop it right now.

i have to carry on as normal looking after my family and appearing normal to the outside world but i am screaming inside. just make the fear stop!!!!!!!! just make it end. i can't take much more of this. i just don't know how to make it go away. 😰😰😰😰😰😰😰

 

So sorry to hear you’re suffering so much. Will things get better after Monday? 

 

Warmest wishes,

 

Rich

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thecowisback

probably so long as things go the right way. that's what i'm scared of the most, things going wrong. that is the nature of my ocd - once one worry is sorted another pops up to take its place and the cycle begins all over again 😑😑😑

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RichT
43 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

probably so long as things go the right way. that's what i'm scared of the most, things going wrong. that is the nature of my ocd - once one worry is sorted another pops up to take its place and the cycle begins all over again 😑😑😑

 

Yes, i’m familiar with that myself! I very much relate with the famous saying of Michel de Montaigne 

 

’My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened’

 

Hang on in there, it will probably go OK on Monday!

 

warmest wishes,

 

Rich

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thecowisback

thankyou. i do like that quote which i've never heard before - i'm going to put it on my fridge 😁

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thecowisback

another night with hardly any sleep. i have so much to do and am so tired. i was so scared yesterday i was physically sick. i can't eat. i can't concentrate. i just want this all to stop. i was doing better and now i'm feeling like there's just no way out of all this. 

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powerback
3 hours ago, thecowisback said:

another night with hardly any sleep. i have so much to do and am so tired. i was so scared yesterday i was physically sick. i can't eat. i can't concentrate. i just want this all to stop. i was doing better and now i'm feeling like there's just no way out of all this. 

Sorry to hear this TCIB ,I strongly suggest talking to someone you trust about what ever is coming up on Monday because your withdrawl brain is overwhelmingly exaggerating your response to what ever it is ,believe me I know how it feels .

for the next few days just do your best and don't over do anything ,wishing you all the best .

Take care.

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thecowisback

thankyou pb. 

oddly enough i had to do the thing i was dreading this morning as they had a cancellation, which meant i didn't have time to think about it beforehand. the whole event turned out just fine, just as my family said it would. thank god i didn't have to wait until monday. 

now i have an anxiety hangover. 

how are you doing pb?

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Rosetta

I'm sorry you have been feeling so bad.  Hang in there.  Someday this will all be a bad memory. -Rosetta

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thecowisback

thankyou xx

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thecowisback

another day, another sleepless night, another thing to worry about. my husband said yesterday that i'd find something else to obsess about and i have. how much longer will this go on? i know that's a rhetorical question. i just need my mind to be quiet. 😟😟😟😟😟

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Tweet
15 hours ago, thecowisback said:

another day, another sleepless night, another thing to worry about. my husband said yesterday that i'd find something else to obsess about and i have. how much longer will this go on? i know that's a rhetorical question. i just need my mind to be quiet. 😟😟😟😟😟

Cow,  prozac did exactly that to me and still tries to but I am on to it now.  From one obsessive worrying line of thought to another.  I would obsess that loved ones trucks would malfunction and kill them for 6 weeks,  constantly in my sleep even.  When I  resolved it then my mind would immediately go to something else to obsessively fret about.  This was driving me insane for about 4 to 5 months,  always when I resolved the worry going to something else. Now at 13 months my mind may start doing this but I get a pretty quick handle on at least the thoughts of dread. 

I am stuck now on our living situation and will be completely undone about it, threatening divorce so I can get out of that claustrophobic situation one day and wonder what the big deal was a few days later. 

Its a prozac thing I think,  really. 

Wears a person out,  though.😵

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