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thecowisback

thecowisback: wondering why I'm giving up Prozac

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thecowisback

i guess it's that point when you think you have nothing to lose by going back on. it sounds like you had a truly awful time of things - i hope they're picking up for you now!!!

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thecowisback

does anyone else have problems with guilt and shame during withdrawal?

i seem to be constantly beating myself up over things i should have done or did wrong in the past. i then start to badger my long suffering family for reassurance that i'm not a terrible person/parent. 

i don't know how to stop blaming myself for past mistakes. i never dwelt on thoughts like this before the withdrawals set in 😞

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Katy398

I practice the Ho’oponopono prayer for forgiveness. It’s a Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. Very simple and easy to sing. Not for everyone I know  but it’s really helped me.I sing to it over and over in the car/ house most days. I also go to a Ho’oponopono meditation group once a week. Guilt is a very common symptom resulting from these horrid drugs, all we can do is forgive and move on. 

Just a thought.

take care Kx

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thecowisback

thankyou 💛

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thecowisback

any positive stories from anyone who's gone back on meds? i know this is a site for coming off but i can't find any advice elsewhere. i'm still on 6mg but my anxiety and panic have gone through the roof again. i cannot stand the thought if yet another christmas feeling this bad! i need to make a decision as to whether to up the dose and hope it helps. i'm scared of my anxiety getting worse if i increase the dose but i am desperate. really desperate. 

i remember there was a chart on here that showed who was helped and who wasn't by reinstating their meds at full dose but i can't find it. 

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thecowisback

i was so close to taking a full 20mg capsule this morning. only the fear of maybe a few weeks of even higher anxiety stopped me and i took my usual 6mg dose instead.

i just want some relief from the constant fear and panic. it's been nearly 3 years of this crap and i'm tired tired tired of feeling so scared of every little thing.i've missed so much of my family life over that time. 

i want to say to hell with it and take the full dose and hope it works because i cannot bear to live like this any longer. i feel like i must have done something really bad in life to be going through this. i feel like i'm being punished for something. 

 

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Katy398

-Fear of everything past, present, and future.

-State of house/Housework/ DIY all overwhelming 

-Seem ok on outside screaming on inside

- Constantly asking for reassurance from family. Am I a good enough person/ parent

-Panic at night

- Disturbed sleep

- Waking anxiety.

 

Thecowisback

On 11/17/2019 at 6:14 AM, thecowisback said:

 

i don't know how to stop blaming myself for past mistakes

 

10 hours ago, thecowisback said:

i just want some relief from the constant fear and panic. i

 

This is me

day in day out for the last year. This withdrawal can be so diverse yet at times symptoms seem identical. For me the fear and anxiety are the most challenging.

I haven’t reinstated but I get so close. I’ve barely managed a year how on earth have you done 3?!

Our symptoms are so similar.

hang on in there they do say we all heal eventually. 

Take care Thinking of you 

Kx

 

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sunnysideup69
On 11/16/2019 at 7:14 PM, thecowisback said:

does anyone else have problems with guilt and shame during withdrawal?

i seem to be constantly beating myself up over things i should have done or did wrong in the past. i then start to badger my long suffering family for reassurance that i'm not a terrible person/parent. 

i don't know how to stop blaming myself for past mistakes. i never dwelt on thoughts like this before the withdrawals set in 😞

Yes, reading this, I realised I feel guilty about everything and also about not being the 'perfect' daughter. But gradually am coming to accept that I'm doing the best I can, with the information I currently have. I was quite relieved reading this, in fact, as I have quite strong neuro guilt. It's good to label it as such. 

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thecowisback

sorry to hear you are going through the same thing sunnyside. 

i'm in pieces this morning. i have the meds here beside me and still want to take the 20mg. i think i'm going to have to bite the bullet and try. i don't think i can carry on in this state. nearly 3 years. i can't face a minute more. a couple of people have told me they had to go back on so i think i'm going to have to take the risk they took. 

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sunnysideup69

So sorry you've been going through this for so long. I do understand why you feel you need to do something..... I see you've been trying to stabilise on 5mg for some months, which isn't uncommon

 It's quite a leap, 5mg to 20mg. I did a similar thing last summer, different drug, and then switched. To be honest, I think it put my progress back. 

What did you decide in the end? 

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thecowisback

i chickened out and took 6mg. will decide tomorrow.😰

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RichT
10 hours ago, thecowisback said:

sorry to hear you are going through the same thing sunnyside. 

i'm in pieces this morning. i have the meds here beside me and still want to take the 20mg. i think i'm going to have to bite the bullet and try. i don't think i can carry on in this state. nearly 3 years. i can't face a minute more. a couple of people have told me they had to go back on so i think i'm going to have to take the risk they took. 


sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I don’t know what to advise you, but I’ll be thinking of you.

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thecowisback

thankyou rich. i'm a bit calmer today but the fear is lurking in the wings ready to pounce!

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Tweet

Hi, 

I was on 20 mg. prozac for well over 20 years. 

A couple of things I found. 

Movies or games(I imagine, for I watched no movies or video games), or even novels

that were suspenseful set off that horrible anxiety for me just as if it was a real situation I was involved in personally.

 I avoided these.

In Debi Pearl’s book, Healing the Brain through neuroplasticity, she reviews the activities in every

day life in our society that actually damage our brain.

Television, movies, video games, playing on phones are some of the main offenders, and science

knows this.

I have not had any of these in my house for over 20 years and did not during withdrawal.

By God’s grace I am almost completely well after going ct in about June of 2019. 

That’s about 18 months after the horrific suffering beyond imagination began.

When Debi’s book came out it made me wonder whether it was the lack of tv, movies, etc. that

helped me to heal thus far so quickly.

Thecowisback, I know the demonically intense fear, anxiety, self-blame and shame you are having, because I have had them, too.

My hair still comes out in handfuls due to the high anxiety and cortisol. It is truly frightening.

The cycle for me has been fear or be anxious, act up, blame self and shame self over and over again. 

I have fought this cycle with scripture and plain truth aggressively for 6 months.

And I am here to tell you that it will pass because through Christ I am winning.

Your addicted mind wants to drive you back onto the drugs. 

Don’t allow it.

 I remember when you first decided to reinstate. I wanted to, and may have, suggested you not do it.

At that time I had just learned it was a possibility to reinstate in the first place, but was too afraid to

try it because I was already too far out.

But more than that, I wanted no more to do with a drug designed to punish 

a person into going back on it.

I was also aware that it would prolong the process.

I have since followed your posts and I am so sorry how it has turned out for you.

I don’t know the difference that additional 20 mg. you took makes. (You took 40mg. and I only 20)

You probably could say I am full of baloney since I was only on 20 mg.

And if you do, that’s okay.

Just know that I am thinking loving thoughts toward you

and hoping that you get set free from the horrible symptoms and this hellish drug.

Then you can truly live the life you desire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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thecowisback

i ended up increasing by 1mg yesterday so now on 7mg. will have to update.my signature. i'm in a very bad place today. my anxiety is through the roof. i doibt if it's the increase doing it as prozac takes a while to kick in. 

ocd is unbearable. 

could really do with someone to talk to 😞😞😞

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badway

Just spent the last hour reading all 25 pages of your journey TCIB.  Devastating.  I cannot express how angry I feel that so much harm has been caused purely for the sake of profit for big pharma.  I am sure in time the AD era will be regarded in much the same way as the thalidomide one. Nonetheless, that’s of no help to us caught in the constant struggle of making it through the day.  I’m on 0.81ml a day of a 20 mg/5ml solution and the bad times outweigh the good 19:1 so dreading the future.  Need to survive for my family so will not give up but scared to death.  I wish you all the very best 

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thecowisback

aww thankyou badway - wow, you read the whole boring tale? 

i hope you start to see some light at the end of your tunnel soon xxxxx good luck!!!!

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thecowisback

OCD is still kicking my arse. The constant 'what if?' questions drive me mad. How do others with this problem cope?

 

 

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thecowisback
On 11/16/2019 at 2:12 PM, Arcticjessy said:

No I meant I was non functioning before. The anxiety does get worse for a week or so. 
it’s controversial but I truly believe some people’s lives are not worth living without medication I’m one.. I spent thousands on therapy. Meds are the evil and akathesia is the devil and most drs know rod all about these meds.. but I have to make my peace with it and accept something’s you just can’t change 

 

did you go back on prozac or a different drug? how long were you off before reinstating? how long did it take to see an improvement? @Arcticjessy

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waves12

Hi TCIB 

Have you seen the last two success stories posted recently? 

I just read them as not feeling good still at 3.5 years off CT. 

Apologies if you have read them, they have helped me this evening. 

This is such a nightmare journey. 

I saw a therapist today and she suggested I have an assessment with a shrink......I don't think so I know how that will end!

Please keep the faith and know you are not alone. 

Much love

Waves 

 

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thecowisback

thankyou - will have a read now 😊

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thecowisback

i'm not improving. i feel like i'm going backwards. i'm on 8mg now and the intrusive thoughts are worse then ever. i don't know whether to stick at this dose and hope to stabilise or cut down to 7mg again. 

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Rosetta

Hi.  Thanks for your note on my thread recently.  I wish you weren’t having such difficulty.  I have no idea what to suggest, but I hope someone else can  help you sort it out.  Hang in there. -  Rosetta 

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thecowisback

thankyou rosetta xxxxx

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baquejohn

this message is for thecowisback

how are you now? feeling normal? are you still on 5mg prozac?

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