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thecowisback: wondering why I'm giving up Prozac


thecowisback

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  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, thecowisback said:

it feels right now like i will have to resign myself to going back on pills and spending the rest of my life on them i don't see any other way out. 

 

I suggest you give it a few weeks to see if the Christmas stress settles down.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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will do. i really don't want to go down that route again but right now i don't know what else to do for the ocd. it's really really bad. i've tried listening to meditation apps and have been reading all my self-help books on ocd but nothing is clicking right now - the thoughts are so huge and seem so real. i just want a rest from my own mind. 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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  • Administrator

Can you get any exposure to natural light, tcib? Maybe a lightbox in the morning? It's important to get sunlight to calibrate the nervous system for the sleep cycle.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus
Just now, Altostrata said:

Maybe a lightbox in the morning?

 

Light boxes for depression and sleep disorders

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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thanks for that-i'll try anything right now. i'm at rock bottom and feeling so down that i've been off the meds for nearly 2 years and am still living with constant anxiety. my ocd is worse now than i ever remember it being before i took meds. the way i'm feeling now i would restart them in a heartbeat but i'm scared of wasting those 2years of 'recovery' if the meds don't work. 

22 months with little to show in the way of recovery? has it all been worth it? i feel like i've just thrown away the last 2 years of my life for absolutely nothing 😰😰😰 people keep telling me it will get better but i'm fast losing faith. 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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thanks for those links. it looks like i've got a long long way to go. thinking about it all just makes me despair............

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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i'm still thinking about how long all this is going to take. if i go back on meds they may not work and i'll have to spend years weaning off and going through all this again, or i keep ploughing on through this constant panic in the hope it eases in a few years. talk about hobson's choice. 

it says in those links that this could take up to 8 years a more. there is no way on earth i could live through another 6 years like this and that scares the hell out of me. 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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i've been looking back through my diary for the past year and my windows have gone something like this:

 

jan to jun 2-3 days a month (not consecutive) when the panic was much more bearable and intrusive thoughts could be dismissed more easily.

 

july 7 days

 

august 0 days 

 

september to now approx 7 days a month

 

i'm not sure why the windows disappeared in august.

 

does having these 'good' days show that i am slowly healing? at the moment it feels like they are just there to taunt me and show me what a normal life looks like though it is a million miles out of my reach. the day after one of these good days is hell and makes me feel like i'm right back at the beginning. 

i'm trying really hard to think positive today and hopefully more windows will come. 

 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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Hi, just thought would comment as have some similarities with you, have also been on prozac (more on and off though) for 20 years and I noticed you mentioned HRT and I'm in a  similar age range (perimenopausal) and been trying to come off also. I can't seem to tolerate more than 5mg a day now. Something I had tested was my vitamin D level which was low, this can also be low in the winter due to lack of sunlight. My Gp tested this for me. Maybe that might help you also, or to have some in a vitamin. I'm not an expert here though just am also in Uk and it can get dark in winter and be a problem for many people. I also have quite dark skin though which can make a difference. My Gp also tested thyroid as well. The other thing I have found helpful is something called Longvida curcumin.

 

I was also on the mini pill and found stopping that helped a bit so think that hormones can make a difference. Hard to tell at times isn't it.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-breakthrough-depression-solution/201111/psychological-consequences-vitamin-d-deficiency

Fluoxetine 20mg a day, (mornings) Amitryptilline 10-50mg (evenings) for last two years (usually lowest dose of the latter) Previously on and off Fluoxetine since 1999. Off completely for pregnancies in 200s with no problems but recently more difficult to withdraw.End 2018 Tapered to 10mg Fluoxetine (am) and 10mg Amitryptilline (evening)Co-codomol 30/500 prescribed (one to two tabs 6 hrly as required for pain)

 

Start Jan 2019 5mg Fluoxetine mornings. Stopped amitryptilline.

6th Feb 2019 Stopped Fluoxetine, 2 X 425mg St Johns Wort daily. 

9th Feb 2019 Reinstated 5mg Prozac, stopped SJW due to headaches and upset tummy.

10th Feb 2019 Started using liquid diluted Prozac and syringe, dividing doses (2 X 2.5ml) = 5mg daily

12th Feb 2019 Stopped prozac after even small doses seem to be causing a bad reaction.

17th Feb 2019 Started taking single dose 425mg SJW mornings 

 

Also taking supplements: Multivitamin, Longvida Curcumin 500mg a day, Magnesium Citrate 500mg/day, Magnesium L-threonate 50mg/day, Omega 3 (with Vit E) 1000mg/day, Vitamin D3 20000IU

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hi, i asked the surgery to test for vitamin d and they said they don't do it. i'm taking a supp!lement just in case. i guess perimenopause is also having a bad effect on things. 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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I'm in UK also and GP tested my Vit D. I also have another physical problem though so maybe why. (they tested it)

It may be expensive. Yes good plan maybe to just take some as seems we all need it. I'm trying to get my kids to

take some also.

 

 

I hope things improve for you, sounds like a rough ride these meds can send us on 😞

Fluoxetine 20mg a day, (mornings) Amitryptilline 10-50mg (evenings) for last two years (usually lowest dose of the latter) Previously on and off Fluoxetine since 1999. Off completely for pregnancies in 200s with no problems but recently more difficult to withdraw.End 2018 Tapered to 10mg Fluoxetine (am) and 10mg Amitryptilline (evening)Co-codomol 30/500 prescribed (one to two tabs 6 hrly as required for pain)

 

Start Jan 2019 5mg Fluoxetine mornings. Stopped amitryptilline.

6th Feb 2019 Stopped Fluoxetine, 2 X 425mg St Johns Wort daily. 

9th Feb 2019 Reinstated 5mg Prozac, stopped SJW due to headaches and upset tummy.

10th Feb 2019 Started using liquid diluted Prozac and syringe, dividing doses (2 X 2.5ml) = 5mg daily

12th Feb 2019 Stopped prozac after even small doses seem to be causing a bad reaction.

17th Feb 2019 Started taking single dose 425mg SJW mornings 

 

Also taking supplements: Multivitamin, Longvida Curcumin 500mg a day, Magnesium Citrate 500mg/day, Magnesium L-threonate 50mg/day, Omega 3 (with Vit E) 1000mg/day, Vitamin D3 20000IU

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  • Moderator Emeritus
11 hours ago, thecowisback said:

i've been looking back through my diary for the past year and my windows have gone something like this:

 

jan to jun 2-3 days a month (not consecutive) when the panic was much more bearable and intrusive thoughts could be dismissed more easily.

 

july 7 days

 

august 0 days 

 

september to now approx 7 days a month

 

i'm not sure why the windows disappeared in august.

 

does having these 'good' days show that i am slowly healing? at the moment it feels like they are just there to taunt me and show me what a normal life looks like though it is a million miles out of my reach. the day after one of these good days is hell and makes me feel like i'm right back at the beginning. 

i'm trying really hard to think positive today and hopefully more windows will come. 

 

 

Yes, having improved times is a sign that your brain is healing.  Do you tend to overdo things when you are feeling good?

 

Not sure if this has been posted in your topic before.  I used the search but it didn't show anything.

 

"Basically- you have a building where the MAJOR steel structures are trying to be rebuilt at different times - ALL while people are coming and going in the building and attempting to work.

It would be like if the World Trade Center Towers hadn't completely fallen - but had crumbled inside in different places.. Imagine if you were trying to rebuild the tower - WHILE people were coming and going and trying to work in the building!  You'd have to set up a temporary elevator - but when you needed to fix part of that area, you'd have to tear down that elevator and set up a temporary elevator somewhere else. And so on. You'd have to build, work around, then tear down, then build again, then work around, then build... ALL while people are coming and going, ALL while the furniture is being replaced, ALL while the walls are getting repainted... ALL while life is going on INSIDE the building. No doubt it would be chaotic. That is EXACTLY what is happening with windows and waves.  The windows are where the body has "got it right" for a day or so - but then the building shifts and the brain works on something else - and it's chaos again while another temporary pathway is set up to reroute function until repairs are made."

 

15 hours ago, thecowisback said:

it says in those links that this could take up to 8 years a more. there is no way on earth i could live through another 6 years like this and that scares the hell out of me. 

 

I can't speak from experience, however it would seem that generally the windows happen more often and/or the waves are less severe/are shorter.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment

that's a really good analogy! i don't tend to do much on my good days as i'm scared to enjoy them because i know they never last longer than 24 hours and then it's back to the anxiety and panic the next day.    is it normal for the panic after a window to be even more intense than usual, or am i perceiving it that way because the window days feel so good? 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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I also weaned prozac (doesn't deserve a capital P) quickly. I'm not sure that I would have avoided the withdrawals that I had, but when they started, they were severe: violent mood swings, long periods of intense crying for weeks at a time, almost continuously from waking to bed, anger, rage. body twitching.

I'm very into mindfulness practices as they pertain to being the witness of my thoughts and feelings and not identifying with them. I also found Eckhart Tolle's work helpful. He describes the "pain body" in his books "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth."

My practice of being the watcher, detached from personal ownership of the plethora of sensations that I was experiencing from withdrawal helped me immensely. In doing that, I was able to give the withdrawal symptoms freedom to manifest without me resisting them and fighting against it. That alone helped move it along. Also and very important: I had a great deal of trauma in my childhood and the prozac masked the trauma; that's what the anti-Ds do- suppress what is really inside of us. So some of the withdrawal is the masked emotional stuff. That helped me understand and detach from the feelings when they would come up and express. They are just feelings- not you- but feelings. Allowing them to arise and pass through you helps relieve the pressure, kind of like a steam pot loosing pressure. The emotions want out to make room for healing.

There is am expression in the consciousness teachings: become friendly with whatever arises in you and see what happens to it. This is the last thing I wanted to do with these powerful emotions, but it made them flow more smoothly and with less resistance, shortening the withdrawal period. Try it and see. When you notice a wave of emotion or sensation, stop and give it your full attention. Try being friendly with it, instead of reacting and see what happens. You turn your withdrawal into a spiritual practice:-)

I'm now on the last taper of mirtazapine, and I do the same thing.

You are becoming sensitive to a part of you that was suppressed for 20 years. When the clouds clear you'll have new vision.

Peace!

Mark

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thankyou mark. i'm trying hard not to react to thoughts and emotions when they arise (which seems to be 24/7 at the moment - the endless chatter in my head is unbearable at times). 

i'm just waiting for those clouds to clear! i think one of the worst things about being on prozac was the dulling of my emotions. i didn't even realise how bad it was when i took the pills - all i knew was i didn't have that extreme panic any more and that was bliss. i credited the meds for saving my life. now they're not squashing down all those emotions any more it feels like a tidal wave hitting me every days. i'm learning to just ride the wave but it's slow going and each time it hits i panic all over again. 

 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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On 1/3/2019 at 1:47 AM, thecowisback said:

i credited the meds for saving my life. now they're not squashing down all those emotions any more it feels like a tidal wave hitting me every days.

 

Hi @thecowisback, just wanted to say I've been reading here a bit and sorry things continue to be such a struggle. I wish I could help some way but all I got right now is good wishes for you! ❤️

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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thankyou 

❤️

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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today is awful. i see no future. there is nothing left to look forward to in life. i feel helpless and hopeless. i'm sick of coping, existing, managing, pushing. i just want my life back. i'm sick of getting up and struggling through each day, then going to bed and having nightmares then being awake half the night. i pretend to each person who comes to the door or calls on the phone that everything is fine. it isn't. it's all hell, every single day, and it never ends. 

i hope to god at some point in the future i can come back here and read this and see how unhappy i was at this time. i hope at that point i'm feeling better and will be surprised at how low i felt at this time. 

i hope and wish, i wish and hope. that's all i can do right now. 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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1 hour ago, thecowisback said:

today is awful. i see no future. there is nothing left to look forward to in life. i feel helpless and hopeless. i'm sick of coping, existing, managing, pushing. i just want my life back. i'm sick of getting up and struggling through each day, then going to bed and having nightmares then being awake half the night. i pretend to each person who comes to the door or calls on the phone that everything is fine. it isn't. it's all hell, every single day, and it never ends. 

i hope to god at some point in the future i can come back here and read this and see how unhappy i was at this time. i hope at that point i'm feeling better and will be surprised at how low i felt at this time. 

i hope and wish, i wish and hope. that's all i can do right now. 

I hear you my friend ,I'm sending you a shoulder and we can  drag ourselves to the next stage ,forcing myself to find up lifting music .im getting my ass kicked by Tyson today .we look forward to spring .we simply have no other choice .🙏

Take care thecowisback .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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🖤

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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yesterday was depression ( i don't get this so often) today it's back to the usual anxiety. terrible intrusive thoughts, panicking about things that need to be done in the future, things that may happen, things i've done in past etc 

still holding off asking the doc for more meds. really don't want to go down that route but am feeling so desperate for relief from this torment in my mind. i just want my head to be QUIET!!! it never shuts up, it never stops finding new ways to frighten me. 

 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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1 hour ago, thecowisback said:

yesterday was depression ( i don't get this so often) today it's back to the usual anxiety. terrible intrusive thoughts, panicking about things that need to be done in the future, things that may happen, things i've done in past etc 

still holding off asking the doc for more meds. really don't want to go down that route but am feeling so desperate for relief from this torment in my mind. i just want my head to be QUIET!!! it never shuts up, it never stops finding new ways to frighten me. 

 

you've written well TCIB my exact situation.

I had an anxiety attack earlier ,my phone went ,I didn't recognise the number [it was the supermarket delivery guy ,ringing to give me an earlier slot ,glad I answered .had a nice interaction with him .we keep at it and practicing understanding a lot of it is nonsense chatter .

its hard though ,like yesterday was a day to just get past it for me .

We keep at it .

Take care . 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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that's me exactly - everything sets my panic off. if the post arrives i think there's going to be a letter in it telling me something terrible. if the phone rings i think it's someone with bad news. our electrics tripped out earlier when a bulb went upstairs so i've spent the day thinking there's something terribly wrong with the wiring in the house. i don't know if you ever used to watch catherine tate - she had a character that screamed every time she heard a noise. that is a comic version of how i am nowadays.  

have you found things easing for you lately? i know you were having problems back in october. are things still the same? 

 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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the stupid thing is when i've been worrying about something for a long time (some things i've worried myself to the point of vomiting) when i'm proved wrong and that thing turns out to be ok i swear to myself i'll never worry about anything again - then it's only a matter of time until another worry pops in my head and the whole cycle starts again. 

with things that i have no answer to or no-one can reassure me about i try to tell myself lots of other things i've worried about have turned out to be ok so this thing will probably be fine to, but my stupid mind doesn't believe what i'm telling it and thinks that this time things will be different and something big will happen or go wrong. 

i just want some peace and quiet. 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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32 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

that's me exactly - everything sets my panic off. if the post arrives i think there's going to be a letter in it telling me something terrible. if the phone rings i think it's someone with bad news. our electrics tripped out earlier when a bulb went upstairs so i've spent the day thinking there's something terribly wrong with the wiring in the house. i don't know if you ever used to watch catherine tate - she had a character that screamed every time she heard a noise. that is a comic version of how i am nowadays.  

have you found things easing for you lately? i know you were having problems back in october. are things still the same? 

 

Lol ye I seen that catherine tate episode.

The big thing is to realise its our system and not the whole total of whowe are .

It comes down to CBT and some mindfulness and practicing understanding our reaction .

My biggest problem is my  fractured ego ,I have let some people in and ive been open with them and lately a freind jeers me when it suits him ,this is dangerous territory for me because im afraid of snapping and thus making myself look even worse .

I think in the future people need to be very guarded who they tell because its used against us when it suits others mood.

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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that's horrible!!! there's nothing worse than trusting someone with your problems then them ridiculing them or using them against you. i'm a very guarded person with other people in real life for the same reason. i find it very hard to trust anyone. 

 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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Ive been out while very fragile ,one day a neighbour walked past and hes dog barked ,I.jumped out of my skin ,i felt like a wally .this is my ego being afraid of being vulnerable .

Irish culture use your "faults"(sorry for the word) against you and beat you with it.

Im humbled and destroyed for life in many ways because of this proccess .

I cant be around 90% ofmy past peers because of what they represent.

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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5 minutes ago, thecowisback said:

that's horrible!!! there's nothing worse than trusting someone with your problems then them ridiculing them or using them against you. i'm a very guarded person with other people in real life for the same reason. i find it very hard to trust anyone. 

 

Well your correct not to trust people while being this vulnerable .

 

I do some work with this guy and its the building game culture (eat you alive),I give as good as I get in the past ,but the last few years living with such a painful sensitive thin skin is awful .

I need to change how I treat others myself to be honest also.

 

 

 

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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11 hours ago, thecowisback said:

i just want some peace and quiet. 

 

I'm sorry things have been so hard for you and hope change is coming soon. ☹️

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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8 hours ago, JackieDecides said:

 

I'm sorry things have been so hard for you and hope change is coming soon. ☹️

thankyou. i keep hoping better days are just round the corner....

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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i've ruined the weekend for my family because of my panic attacks. i keep obsessing about how i've screwed their lives up with the bad decisions i've made over the years. yesterday i just didn't want to be here any more. i don't know how to put things right. is it a straight choice between taking meds again or not existing? there must be another way? if there is i can't see it right now. i just want the noise in my head telling me what a terrible person i am to stop.

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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i'm hoping to get an appt with the doctor tomorrow and ask for prozac. 

i'll ask for the liquid but i know they don't like prescribing liquids around here because of the cost (i found that out in the past when a family member was on medication and couldn't swallow pills). 

if i have to have the capsules i'll try making my own liquid and try 1mg. 

 

have i got this right - to make a liquid i need to tip the powder from a 20mg capsule into 20ml of water, mix, then draw off 1ml of liquid - correct? do i just drink it as it is or does it need to be mixed with juice? if i make a weaker solution of 20mg to 40ml of water then i'd need 2ml to make 1mg of medicine, yes?? 

 

 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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18 hours ago, thecowisback said:

i just want the noise in my head telling me what a terrible person i am to stop.

 

I'm sorry you are going through this. ☹️

 

@Altostrata

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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i saw the doc and he's given me 10mg tablets and told me to take them for a week then double them up. he said no to liquid and no to capsules as they're too expensive so will have a read now on how to make liquid from tablets.

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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it says the tablets are 'film coated'. will they dissolve in water ok? should i crush them or break them up? 

Took prozac 40 mg for 20 years.

January 2017 started cutting down prozac by 12.5% a week. End of February 2017 completely off prozac and withdrawals began.

Currently taking Levothyroxine 75 mcg, Magnesium citrate 200mg,Sage leaf 50mg daily

Amlodipine: October 2017 , discontinued 26 Feb 2019; Candesartan:  26 Feb 2019, 4mg.

Discontinued magnesium citrate 200mg Apr 3rd 2019

Reinstated prozac:  14 Jan 2019, 1mg; 26 Jan, 1.5mg; 4 Feb, 2mg; 16 Feb, 2.5mg; 2 Mar, 3mg; 5 Mar, 2.5mg, 23 Mar, 3 mg; 6 Apr, 3.5mg, 14 Apr 4mg, 23 Apr 5mg, 10 Jul 8mg, 1 Dec 20mg, 1 Apr 2020 40mg 

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