Moderator Frogie Posted February 9, 2018 Moderator Share Posted February 9, 2018 20 minutes ago, apace41 said: More like stuck in place. Been holding because I've been dealing with symptoms including hellacious insomnia. One step forward, two steps back, two steps forward, one step back, etc. It only really sucks when it's one step foward 3 or 4 steps back. Best, Andy Andy: I'm sorry you still aren't sleeping. My problem is I want to just sit with Brownie and take naps. I have no motivation. I don't know how to get over that. I will give you my sleep if you can give me some pointers on motivation lol... Hopefully you will get some good rest soon. Take care, Frogie xx PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downbutnotout Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 20 minutes ago, RealMe said: Thanks, DBNO. We sure do. I wonder if there are any more "older" people on this forum. I have searched and found only one 70 year old gentleman. I guess I am the oldest one so far. I'm surprised because I know they are all being medicated to beat the band! I am 67. My mother used to say, “the golden years is not for sissy’s.” I guess Betty Davis said that. I am feeling very geriatric today. You’re right about that. All I’ve done today is tap tap on here. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Frogie Posted February 9, 2018 Moderator Share Posted February 9, 2018 2 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said: I am 67. My mother used to say, “the golden years is not for sissy’s.” I guess Betty Davis said that. I am feeling very geriatric today. You’re right about that. All I’ve done today is tap tap on here. I'm 54 but I've been on these meds 21 years now! You might ask how old Flowers and Grandma D (I think that's her name)? PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downbutnotout Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Just now, Frogie said: I'm 54 but I've been on these meds 21 years now! I beat you out, I was 42 when I took the first pill. It’s so sad because I wasn’t really depressed at the time. I’d heard prozac was a miracle drug. It was on the cover of time magazine. However, I did have some hellacious depressions, and felt I had no choice later but to take a drug to get out of them. I was perfectly content with the idea I’d just have to take them the rest of my life. I did go off 3 years ago, and it was wonderful for 5 months. I wish that would happen now. I could cry, laugh, have great fun, enjoy food, etc. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Frogie Posted February 9, 2018 Moderator Share Posted February 9, 2018 Just now, Downbutnotout said: I beat you out, I was 42 when I took the first pill. It’s so sad because I wasn’t really depressed at the time. I’d heard prozac was a miracle drug. It was on the cover of time magazine. However, I did have some hellacious depressions, and felt I had no choice later but to take a drug to get out of them. I was perfectly content with the idea I’d just have to take them the rest of my life. I did go off 3 years ago, and it was wonderful for 5 months. I wish that would happen now. I could cry, laugh, have great fun, enjoy food, etc. I was only supposed to take it while I was going through my divorce. He's on his second wife now since our divorce. Must have been a really long divorce lol... I cry, sometimes laugh, don't enjoy a lot of food, and don't want to leave the house at all. I just want to sit in my chair with Brownie and do nothing. I'm getting really good at that. PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downbutnotout Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 2 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said: I beat you out, I was 42 when I took the first pill. It’s so sad because I wasn’t really depressed at the time. I’d heard prozac was a miracle drug. It was on the cover of time magazine. However, I did have some hellacious depressions, and felt I had no choice later but to take a drug to get out of them. I was perfectly content with the idea I’d just have to take them the rest of my life. I did go off 3 years ago, and it was wonderful for 5 months. I wish that would happen now. I could cry, laugh, have great fun, enjoy food, etc. If I knew the consequences of doing that, I wouldn’t have. It’s ruined by life. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downbutnotout Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 Just now, Frogie said: I was only supposed to take it while I was going through my divorce. He's on his second wife now since our divorce. Must have been a really long divorce lol... I cry, sometimes laugh, don't enjoy a lot of food, and don't want to leave the house at all. I just want to sit in my chair with Brownie and do nothing. I'm getting really good at that. Aw, you mean your doctor offered it because you were going through a divorce? I know they offer to people if their spouses die. It’s really sick. I am looking forward to the day I can laugh again. I almost felt like crying, but very little tears come out. This is the hardest thing for me. I might try to buy that anxiety stuff and try it. I am very tempted to get off the 5 beads and the trazadone to see if I get some feelings back. I am really missing that. Brownie must be liking it. Sounds like you have some feelings. That’s a good thing. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Frogie Posted February 9, 2018 Moderator Share Posted February 9, 2018 Just now, Downbutnotout said: Aw, you mean your doctor offered it because you were going through a divorce? I know they offer to people if their spouses die. It’s really sick. I am looking forward to the day I can laugh again. I almost felt like crying, but very little tears come out. This is the hardest thing for me. I might try to buy that anxiety stuff and try it. I am very tempted to get off the 5 beads and the trazadone to see if I get some feelings back. I am really missing that. Brownie must be liking it. Sounds like you have some feelings. That’s a good thing. Taper, don't stop! You will regret it! You could try that Rescue Remedy, works for me, but talk to a mod about it and make sure it's ok for you to take. I have a lot of feelings, unfortunately, they just make me cry. PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downbutnotout Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 46 minutes ago, apace41 said: More like stuck in place. Been holding because I've been dealing with symptoms including hellacious insomnia. One step forward, two steps back, two steps forward, one step back, etc. It only really sucks when it's one step foward 3 or 4 steps back. Best, Andy Oh insomnia is one of the worst things. You look like you’re at the end of your taper. Looks like you’ve been through the gamut of drugs. At least your going up, down and up. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downbutnotout Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 10 minutes ago, Frogie said: Taper, don't stop! You will regret it! You could try that Rescue Remedy, works for me, but talk to a mod about it and make sure it's ok for you to take. I have a lot of feelings, unfortunately, they just make me cry. I’m updosing, and haven’t done anything with the trazadone which I do not like. I don’t think I reinstated high enough on the effexor. I don’t think these beads are doing anything. The only mod that talks to me is Ali who is not around right now. I am feeling anxiety right now and it makes me afraid to do much. I never used to be like this before I did the fast wd 3 years ago. Effexor actually works on anxiety and i don’t have enough to do squat. I have avitan, but I don’t want to get hooked on it. The psychiatrist told me I could use 1/2 tab 3 times a day. It made me feel good initially, but then manic and depressed. You are lucky you have feelings, but not lucky they are sad ones. I do feel sad and angry, but I just cant cry. I told my 95 yo aunt I’d visit her, but now I’m regretting it. She’s a handful, and wants all her dead relatives phone number. Did they say you could use the Rescue Remedy? 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downbutnotout Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 13 minutes ago, Frogie said: Taper, don't stop! You will regret it! You could try that Rescue Remedy, works for me, but talk to a mod about it and make sure it's ok for you to take. I have a lot of feelings, unfortunately, they just make me cry. If there is a mod reading this, is Rescue Remedy okay to take? 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downbutnotout Posted February 9, 2018 Share Posted February 9, 2018 25 minutes ago, Frogie said: Taper, don't stop! You will regret it! You could try that Rescue Remedy, works for me, but talk to a mod about it and make sure it's ok for you to take. I have a lot of feelings, unfortunately, they just make me cry. I looked up rescue remedy and I only found one that is for pets? Is there one for humans? Do you give it to Brownie too? 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Frogie Posted February 9, 2018 Moderator Share Posted February 9, 2018 2 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said: I looked up rescue remedy and I only found one that is for pets? Is there one for humans? Do you give it to Brownie too? I will answer you on your thread. We need to get off of here. PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist. Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form) ---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil. Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper. 19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020) I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted February 10, 2018 Mentor Share Posted February 10, 2018 8 hours ago, RealMe said: Thanks, DBNO. We sure do. I wonder if there are any more "older" people on this forum. I have searched and found only one 70 year old gentleman. I guess I am the oldest one so far. I'm surprised because I know they are all being medicated to beat the band! just turned 62 so I'm getting up there...there are some others in our age range, they are just hard to find, you're right. PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RealMe Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 2 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said: just turned 62 so I'm getting up there...there are some others in our age range, they are just hard to find, you're right. You're sweet to include me in "our age range," considering you're a mere babe of 62 (just turned)! Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973, Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres. Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29; 9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted February 10, 2018 Mentor Share Posted February 10, 2018 hahaha, mere babe, I like that! thanks. Some days I feel very old indeed. I sent you a PM, it was supposed to be short but I ended up rambling a bit, sorry PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downbutnotout Posted February 10, 2018 Share Posted February 10, 2018 35 minutes ago, RealMe said: You're sweet to include me in "our age range," considering you're a mere babe of 62 (just turned)! I can’t believe I’m dealing with this garbage now. I was going to go to my 50th hs reunion because I was feeling good about myself. Not so much now. I feel like a crazy mental case who is very sad. All the crap I did while under the influence of these drugs is so humiliating. I acted like a fool. I totally ruined a family trip in June. My kids are sad because their mom went away and this creature took her place. And the doctor was just trying to get me where I was before. I will never feel the same about myself. I lived this long and this had to happen to me. I am so sad about it. The good news is I felt a little bit more like myself since I went to visit my aunt till now. But I am tap tapping on here. The problem is I have to take trazadone and get up feeling like garbage again. I think it causes anxiety in the morning when it wears out. Then I can’t get myself up and I ruminate. I really think trazadone is a bad drug for me. I’d like to start wd from it soon. 2001 Remeron , Celexa, prozac a week on lithium. 2014 went off effexor and trazadone in 3 weeks. 2014 zoloft (hyper reaction) put on effexor 75 mg. Was stable until 2017 2017 Trazadone 50 mg (June) Effexor to 113 mg (2 weeks) Effexor 150 mg for a month . Took 75 mg until November. . Lithium 10 days, Lamactil 10 day aug-nov15 ativan October : Prozac bridge to get off 75 mg of effexor Used 10 mg of prozac. Stopped prozac 3 wk Dec 6, 7 Upped trazadone from 50 to 100 mg Did it for 3 days Stopped it Dec 7 , Dec 8 Took prozac again 0.1 , 0.1, 0.6 stopped it Dec 11 and Dec 12 upped it to 100 again Dec 15 , 16,17 went back to 50 mg of trazadone December 18 Began 3 beads of effexor Dec 25 began 5 beads of effexor take 10 mg of omneprazole daily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peng Posted February 11, 2018 Share Posted February 11, 2018 I am about 72.7 years. First prescribed psychotropic drugs in 1977. On and off them since. Mostly on. Inspired by this site and what you Americans call "poop out" of effexor at 225mg, I am now down to 69mg on the exponential downtapering strongly advocated on SA. i.e. no more than a 10% reduction of current dose each 28 days. Holding where necessary. Clearly, it is never too late, and I feel positivity on many days now. Some days still feel crap - thanks for another great word, Yanks. Some of you guys in distress have messed up (or been messed up by others) by chopping and changing your doses and medication, it would appear. Not being hard on you - feeling sorry for you getting caught that way. Do try and stick to the recommendations on here is what I would strongly suggest after my recent years' experiences. Love and good luck. Born 1945. 1999 - First Effexor/Venlafaxine. 2016 Withdrawal research. Effexor. 13Jul - 212.5mg; 6Aug - 200.0mg; 24Aug - 187.5mg; 13Sep - 175.0mg; 3Oct - 162.5mg; 26Oct - 150mg 2017 9Jan - 150.00mg; 23Mar - 137.50mg; 24Apr - 125.00mg; 31May - 112.50mg holding; 3Sep - 100.00mg; 20Sep - 93.75mg; 20Oct - 87.5mg; 12Nov - 81.25mg; 13 Dec - 75.00mg 2018 18Jan - 69.1mg; 16Feb - 62.5mg; 16March - 57.5mg (-8%); 22Apr - 56.3mg(-2%); CRASHED - Updose 29May - 62.5mg; Updose - 1Jul - 75.0mg. Updose - 2Aug - 87.5mg. Updose - 27Aug - 100.0mg. Updose - 11Oct 112.5mg. Updose - 6Nov 125.00mg. 2019 Updoses 19 Jan - 150.0mg. 1April - 162.5mg. 24 April - Feeling better - doing tasks, getting outside. 7 May - usual depression questionnaire gives "probably no depression" result. Supps/Vits Omega 3; Chelated Magnesium; Prebiotics/Probiotics, Vit D3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mentor Happy2Heal Posted February 11, 2018 Mentor Share Posted February 11, 2018 so good to hear from you Peng, I knew there were others who are older and have very long drugged/medicated histories like mine. great job on getting to where you are now! I so admire the folks who are smart enough and patient enough to do the long tapers. I wish I'd not messed up mine- I could have saved myself a LOT of needless pain and suffering, but what's done is done. At least I am lucky to be healing very well now. just curious, were you mostly prescribed antidepressants or were you given other types of psych drugs as well? PLEASE DO NOT SEND ME PRIVATE MESSAGES, thank you. pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until Sept, then acute WD hit!! reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106 Tapered off to zero by Oct. 2017 Doing very well. Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peng Posted February 12, 2018 Share Posted February 12, 2018 I was initially prescribed the benzo Ativan in 1977, Happy2Heal. I think I was taking it for period 1977-84, but had gap(s) when off it. I weaned myself off it twice. I was cutting the tabs into halves, quarters and smaller slivers to reduce. My GP said "Oh you dont have to do that. Just stop - it's a small dose anyway." As we know, the patients with lived experience will often know more than the "experts" who have been told how harmless and non-addictive these drugs are. Born 1945. 1999 - First Effexor/Venlafaxine. 2016 Withdrawal research. Effexor. 13Jul - 212.5mg; 6Aug - 200.0mg; 24Aug - 187.5mg; 13Sep - 175.0mg; 3Oct - 162.5mg; 26Oct - 150mg 2017 9Jan - 150.00mg; 23Mar - 137.50mg; 24Apr - 125.00mg; 31May - 112.50mg holding; 3Sep - 100.00mg; 20Sep - 93.75mg; 20Oct - 87.5mg; 12Nov - 81.25mg; 13 Dec - 75.00mg 2018 18Jan - 69.1mg; 16Feb - 62.5mg; 16March - 57.5mg (-8%); 22Apr - 56.3mg(-2%); CRASHED - Updose 29May - 62.5mg; Updose - 1Jul - 75.0mg. Updose - 2Aug - 87.5mg. Updose - 27Aug - 100.0mg. Updose - 11Oct 112.5mg. Updose - 6Nov 125.00mg. 2019 Updoses 19 Jan - 150.0mg. 1April - 162.5mg. 24 April - Feeling better - doing tasks, getting outside. 7 May - usual depression questionnaire gives "probably no depression" result. Supps/Vits Omega 3; Chelated Magnesium; Prebiotics/Probiotics, Vit D3. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderator Emeritus Gridley Posted March 9, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 9, 2018 Rescue Remedy is homeopathic. Here's SA's thread on homeopathy: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1971-ask-shanti-about-homeopathy/?hl=homeopathy I had mixed results with homeopathy before I was in WD. I don't think I'd take it now out of what may be an excess of caution. Gridley Introduction Lexapro 20 mg since 2004. Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017. End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg Oct. 30, 2020 Jump to zero from 0.025mg. Current dose: 0.000mg 3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete. Ativan 1 mg to 1.875mg 1986-2020, two CT's and reinstatements Nov. 2020, 7-week Ativan-Valium crossover to 18.75mg Valium Feb. 2021, begin 10%/4 week taper of 18.75mg Valium End 2021 year 1 of Valium taper at 6mg End 2022 year 2 of Valium taper at 2.75mg End 2023 year 3 of Valium taper at 1mg Jan. 24, 2024: Hold at 1mg and shift to Imipramine taper. Taper is 95% complete. Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986. Jan.-Sept. 2016 tapered to 14.4mg March 22, 2022: Begin 10%/4 week taper Aug. 5, 2022: hold at 9.5mg and shift to Valium taper Jan. 24, 2024: Resume Imipramine taper. Current dose as of April 1: 6.8mg Taper is 91% complete. Supplements: multiple, quercetin, omega-3, vitamins C, E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotics, zinc, melatonin .3mg, iron, serrapeptase, nattokinase I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Offforgood Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 On 1/6/2018 at 9:53 PM, RealMe said: Hi Offforgood, Please don't give up. I know it feels like it, but five months is not a long time. I started withdrawing from prescribed medication in August, and I have had many days where I felt like I couldn't go on. Keep talking to the people on this site, and you will get help. So many people have been working at this for a long time, and they all say there is hope. I've been reading books by Breggin, Glenmullen and now William Glasser's Reality Therapy. At least I can read; that's a big improvement for me. We don't have to do this for years. Just get through this one day. Did anything happen to put extra stress on you today? Maybe if you talk about it, it will help a little. When I say I want to give up, I usually mean that I am at the end of my ability to cope with the pain I'm feeling. Maybe someone on this site can offer something that will give you some small good emotional feeling, some hope or some comfort. Please tell me more about your day today. Best wishes for hope and healing, RealMe Now been off meds for 10 months, it seems the only feelings coming back are negative and painful..Still don't feel any joy or happiness in life still feel hopeless and fearful.. have had some so called not as negative days but still no motivation and still anger at what 28 yrs of going off and on these ad meds have done to me..I feel like I have CT so many ad meds on drs advice since I was on such a "low dose" that brain is fried! People around me say that I m getting better but feel like I m just faking it ... I don't know if I will ever feel joy in anything anymore... Zoloft . On 10-15 years started 100 mg last dose 200mg tapered to zero in one month.. psych dr advise Last dose: 50mg Zoloft in February 2017 5mg Olanzipine - 1 -2 yrs last dose 5 mg in Jan 2017 told to stop within a weEk NOTE: had very bad withdrawal symptoms with discontinuation of Zoloft and Olanzipine.. very very seriously suicidal... 450mg Effexor XR - started at 75mg a couple of years ago, increasing every few months until I got to 450mg beginning in February to July 22 - 450, 300, 150, 75, 37.5 , 16.5 mg Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tootsieroll Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 2 hours ago, Offforgood said: Now been off meds for 10 months, it seems the only feelings coming back are negative and painful..Still don't feel any joy or happiness in life still feel hopeless and fearful.. have had some so called not as negative days but still no motivation and still anger at what 28 yrs of going off and on these ad meds have done to me..I feel like I have CT so many ad meds on drs advice since I was on such a "low dose" that brain is fried! People around me say that I m getting better but feel like I m just faking it ... I don't know if I will ever feel joy in anything anymore... Will you heal?- You will!! Will you feel joy again?- You will!! Time period all depends on your individual body and how well it detoxes and restores. But with each day of crumminess, you are still healing underneath it all. Does a scar heal quickly? No. It first toughens and gets inflamed and then slowly the scar fades with time. Takes a lot of awful patience, but you do get there. I call what you are feeling the 'dark night of the soul'. I've been there. Try to pass time to trick your brain into finding the smallest bit of light. Find the most hilarious comedy clip and laugh out loud even though you still feel like crap. Somehow your brain remembers that moment. <p>10 years of ssri and finally tapered off in 2 years. Off Celexa by jan/28/2014 and off benzos by March/6th/2014 after only two months use and still experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RealMe Posted May 23, 2018 Share Posted May 23, 2018 2 hours ago, Tootsieroll said: Find the most hilarious comedy clip and laugh out loud even though you still feel like crap. Somehow your brain remembers that moment. 4 hours ago, Offforgood said: I don't know if I will ever feel joy in anything anymore... Tootsieroll's advice is very good. I have been watching Schitt's Creek on Netflix and have laughed out loud at the characters' antics, especially Moira. If there is anything on tv that you used to find funny, turn it on and watch it. Try some new comedies. Give them a try. It helps your brain even if you don't feel it right away--so important for the part of the brain that reacts emotionally and automatically to see the light side of anything. Let us know if you do this. Have you had the experience of momentary joy? Like a pleasant feeling when you look at a flower, a pretty girl or handsome guy? Take note of that, and try to see more of the same. I had that kind of moment when I looked at some tulips a while back. I find I can build on experiences like this. Check this site for how to handle symptoms. Sometimes a simple remedy can reap big benefits. I agree with Tootsieroll that you will feel better. The brain and body are amazing creations and can recover from unbelievable trauma with some loving care and practical nourishment. I had that fear as well, but the improvement I have experienced thus far are spurring me on. I wish the same for you. Please record any positive outcomes, no matter how insignificant they seem. It helps. Best of healing to you, new friend. xo RM Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973, Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres. Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29; 9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachy Posted July 24, 2018 Share Posted July 24, 2018 I know we shouldn't compare stories, but it's what the with-drawl brain does best! I really need to know that people have recovered after being on HIGHER doses for LONGER periods of time. Like 10-20 years long... I am at a point in my taper, going on 2.5 years, and I still can't get off all the way, and deal with constant WD symptoms. I'm just trying to decide if I should give up the fight and try to go back up to my original dose and see if I can salvage some sort of happiness and normalcy. I'm very discouraged right now, and I haven't seen a lot of recovery from people who have been on high dose, long term ssri's. I hope your out there and can give me words of encouragement?! med history: 17 years total Concerta: 2 yrs - cold turkey, brought on first "depression" Short trials of Zoloft and Effexor: 1-3 years - multiple cold turkey's brought on OCD intrusive thoughts for the first time Lexapro 15-20 mg (16 yrs) - tried to quit once, cold turkey, worst WD ever, had to go on to 20mg to stop WD Welbutrin 150mg (8-ish yrs) NO w/d symptoms from CT Adderall 5-7.5mg (8-10-ish yrs) quit CT, brought on many WD symptoms, but manageable. Begin taper March 2018 : Currently on 4.4 mg lexapro - down from 20mg Symptoms : depression, horrible intrusive thoughts and urges, new onset PMS/PMDD, constant extreme irritation and anger, visual hallucinations, irrational thinking patterns, panic, nausea, dizzy, intolerance to working out, chemical sensitivities, noise sensitivities, memory issues, heart palps, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peachy Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 anyone?! med history: 17 years total Concerta: 2 yrs - cold turkey, brought on first "depression" Short trials of Zoloft and Effexor: 1-3 years - multiple cold turkey's brought on OCD intrusive thoughts for the first time Lexapro 15-20 mg (16 yrs) - tried to quit once, cold turkey, worst WD ever, had to go on to 20mg to stop WD Welbutrin 150mg (8-ish yrs) NO w/d symptoms from CT Adderall 5-7.5mg (8-10-ish yrs) quit CT, brought on many WD symptoms, but manageable. Begin taper March 2018 : Currently on 4.4 mg lexapro - down from 20mg Symptoms : depression, horrible intrusive thoughts and urges, new onset PMS/PMDD, constant extreme irritation and anger, visual hallucinations, irrational thinking patterns, panic, nausea, dizzy, intolerance to working out, chemical sensitivities, noise sensitivities, memory issues, heart palps, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ather Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 I stopped taking Zoloft 15 months ago completely, I was on a very light antidepressant (one of the oldest) called Prothiaden(Dosulepin) at a very low dose, a few days back I gave up and my doctor prescribed Zoloft again, now its my forth day only, lets see what happens in the coming days. 1995 to 1997: different antidepressants at maintenance dosages along with benzos 3 times a day. 1998 to 2000: Citalopram 20mg + Benzo twice daily. 2001 to 2015: Sertraline 50 mg + Alprazolam (half of 0.25 mg once daily which is next to nothing) 2016 to 2017: Sertraline 50 mg + Dosulepin (Prothiaden) 25 mg (NO BENZO) 2017 to 2018: Dosulepin (Prothiaden) 50 mg (NO BENZO) 2018 (Earlier): Olanzapine (Zyprexa) 5 mg + Clonazepam 0.25 mg x 2 daily (7 weeks on Olanzapine was a disaster, antipsychotics are not for panic disorder) 2018 August : Sertraline 50 mg for 20 days (couldn't take it any longer) + Clonazepam. 2018 Sept. 1st week: Dosulepin (Prothiaden) 25 mg + Clonazepam 0.25 mg -- 2018 Sept. 2nd week: Dosulepin (Prothiaden) 12.5mg +Clonazepam 0.25 mg 2018 November: Clonazepam 0.50 mg at night (for sleep disturbed by tinnitus) 2019 January to now: Clonazepam 0.25 mg at night and 0.25 mg in the morning. Remember: Going out for a Walk or for a Change does help, it may take a few days or weeks or months for some, but it definitely helps. Here is Knowledge for you: The more you Know about your sickness the more bad it is for you, so forget about it ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myndfull Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 Peachy -- I took three years, eight months to get off Celexa. I was on the stuff for about 21 years, and that includes the time I tapered. Most of that time I took Paxil. I got very low in my daily dose and finally stopped taking the medicine about three month ago. I'm healing nicely, though my recovery will probably take another year or two. There were many times when I wanted to give up. I didn't. I'm happy I didn't. I can tell you without a doubt that we heal and we get better. I'm aware of that now, in recovery, especially. I see lots of positive change just in the last month. Myndfull I had tried and failed to stop Paxil several times (though never using a long, slow taper) and thought Celexa might be easier, so I shifted to Celexa in 2012. In August of 2014 I began a serious tapered withdrawal from Celexa (20 mg.), making monthly drops, mostly 10% of the last dose, sometimes more, sometimes less. In July of 2016 I took an early retirement at 59 in large part because of my intense withdrawal symptoms. Three years and eight months after beginning my taper, I stopped taking Celexa on 5/12/18. I am currently in recovery and I am very slowly getting better. I still have waves and some are quite bad. But overall the trend is toward healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirage Posted July 27, 2018 Share Posted July 27, 2018 @myndfullIt sounds like you are doing well. That is encouraging news for us. I am 13 months into this journey from a ct off of Wellbutrin. I have made progress, oh so slowly, but none the less, progress. Most of my symptoms are physical. I have the fake anxiety, dizziness and head tension that radiates down into my jaw and gives me a feeling of fullness in my ears. My sleep is still not normal. I can get about 5 hours a night but wake up really early every morning in the middle of very odd dreams. They aren't scary but just really weird. I have not had a window that has been free of symptoms, yet. Looking forward to getting to that point in this recovery and looking forward to my sleep normalizing. How are your symptoms? Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017 Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017 Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017 Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018 Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018 Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018 Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018 Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone, Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freespirit Posted July 28, 2018 Share Posted July 28, 2018 There's already another thread on this: Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myndfull Posted July 28, 2018 Share Posted July 28, 2018 18 hours ago, mirage said: @myndfullIt sounds like you are doing well. That is encouraging news for us. I am 13 months into this journey from a ct off of Wellbutrin. I have made progress, oh so slowly, but none the less, progress. Most of my symptoms are physical. I have the fake anxiety, dizziness and head tension that radiates down into my jaw and gives me a feeling of fullness in my ears. My sleep is still not normal. I can get about 5 hours a night but wake up really early every morning in the middle of very odd dreams. They aren't scary but just really weird. I have not had a window that has been free of symptoms, yet. Looking forward to getting to that point in this recovery and looking forward to my sleep normalizing. How are your symptoms? Mirage -- My symptoms are cyclic and predictable, physical and emotional, on and off. But now minor. The symptoms are an inconvenience more than anything else. I'm a lot happier because I don't have the doubt I used to. The doubt that I'd ever get out of negativeland. The feeling that I'd always feel the way I did and that I'd feel the way I did for the rest of my life. Those were my worst days. All those horribles. But of course the received wisdom of this site, that we do heal and that it takes a lot of time to get there, kept me going. And today I'm different...better. More grounded. Well, and getting better. It's all been a living hell but I've come out of the fire with a new skin, so to speak. Tougher, but gentler, too. My own sleep is beginning to normalize (as you put it), though it's been a long time coming (been getting better in dribs and drabs for over six months or so). I'm consistently sleeping in again for the first time in years. The anxiety that spun my dreams out of control is fading. It's fun to watch it all go. I'll be updating in a week at my three-month point. Look for it. Myndfull I had tried and failed to stop Paxil several times (though never using a long, slow taper) and thought Celexa might be easier, so I shifted to Celexa in 2012. In August of 2014 I began a serious tapered withdrawal from Celexa (20 mg.), making monthly drops, mostly 10% of the last dose, sometimes more, sometimes less. In July of 2016 I took an early retirement at 59 in large part because of my intense withdrawal symptoms. Three years and eight months after beginning my taper, I stopped taking Celexa on 5/12/18. I am currently in recovery and I am very slowly getting better. I still have waves and some are quite bad. But overall the trend is toward healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myndfull Posted July 28, 2018 Share Posted July 28, 2018 On 5/2/2017 at 10:04 AM, Lilu said: If you were able to successfully wean yourself off of antidepressants after 10 years or more, please tell me a short version of your story or provide a link to your Intro topic. Thanks! I'm 61 years old. I took Paxil and then Celexa for a total of about 21 (consecutive) years. Of those 21 years, I spent the last three years and eight months tapering. I am now in recovery. My three-month point post-jump is coming up. I'M GETTING A LOT BETTER. 😃 Look up "myndfull" in Introductions. I had tried and failed to stop Paxil several times (though never using a long, slow taper) and thought Celexa might be easier, so I shifted to Celexa in 2012. In August of 2014 I began a serious tapered withdrawal from Celexa (20 mg.), making monthly drops, mostly 10% of the last dose, sometimes more, sometimes less. In July of 2016 I took an early retirement at 59 in large part because of my intense withdrawal symptoms. Three years and eight months after beginning my taper, I stopped taking Celexa on 5/12/18. I am currently in recovery and I am very slowly getting better. I still have waves and some are quite bad. But overall the trend is toward healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myndfull Posted July 28, 2018 Share Posted July 28, 2018 On 5/2/2017 at 10:04 AM, Lilu said: If you were able to successfully wean yourself off of antidepressants after 10 years or more, please tell me a short version of your story or provide a link to your Intro topic. Thanks! I'm 61 years old. I took Paxil and then Celexa for a total of about 21 (consecutive) years. Of those 21 years, I spent the last three years and eight months tapering. I am now in recovery. My three-month point post-jump is coming up. I'M GETTING A LOT BETTER. 😃 Look up "myndfull" in Introductions. I had tried and failed to stop Paxil several times (though never using a long, slow taper) and thought Celexa might be easier, so I shifted to Celexa in 2012. In August of 2014 I began a serious tapered withdrawal from Celexa (20 mg.), making monthly drops, mostly 10% of the last dose, sometimes more, sometimes less. In July of 2016 I took an early retirement at 59 in large part because of my intense withdrawal symptoms. Three years and eight months after beginning my taper, I stopped taking Celexa on 5/12/18. I am currently in recovery and I am very slowly getting better. I still have waves and some are quite bad. But overall the trend is toward healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirage Posted July 29, 2018 Share Posted July 29, 2018 @myndfullThank you for responding. You are such an inspiration and I feel so encouraged. This is the toughest battle. Before this I was always the, "glass half full", person. I still feel that way but in the back of my head there is doubt. Never had that before either. The fake anxiety and the heightened state of the cns makes everything irrational. I could easily overlook some of these symptoms before this journey and now, I am a smidge weak about it. I remain faithful as I have seen progress in the right direction. I know I will get there. I tell myself, "one day at a time". This journey sure does test your patience and faith. You mention you different, better and more well grounded. I think I will have positive things come out of this. Things I am currently gaining that I don't know about yet but will be revealed when all is back. I will watch for your post and if you have anything you can think, now looking back, that you think was of help, please let me know. Hurray for you friend! The sun is shining bright myndfull! Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017 Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017 Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017 Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018 Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018 Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018 Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018 Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone, Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myndfull Posted July 29, 2018 Share Posted July 29, 2018 Honestly, the things that helped were the usual ones spoken of here on SA. Distraction is key, day by day. Distraction from the the cycling thoughts that dig the pit deeper. Distraction helps to maintain a positive attitude. It's hard to do when you're in Hell, but when you take the stance that you're going to be free of the place (Hell) someday, you can take a point of view that's all attitude: "I'm just here to be toughened up; whatever follows this experience is going to be a piece of cake." Something like that. I know that it's very difficult to think positively when one's in withdrawal. And we all have our own version or "take" on positivity. For me symptoms are the enemy and I fight them. They're not going to win. I'm ever vigilant. Etc. It can get silly sometimes. I'm taking back stolen territory. Doing something physical helps. Exercise has been key for me--running on a treadmill. Getting outside is important. Being around people is important. I find sitting in a cafe over a coffee and a magazine/book for a couple hours helps a lot. Sitting in a darkened theatre watching a film--often doesn't matter what it's about--helps a lot. I can get caught up in the drama or whatever, and forget myself. I've become a TV watcher; I wasn't before all this started. Cable news, local news, "Big Bang Theory" reruns, Warriors basketball in season. Combing this site for answers to questions was big (I don't come here much anymore and for me that's been a sign that I'm healing). I created a doc file of all the helpful information I found on SA.org and I read through it once in a while. Diet is a big. I've cut caffeine out (though I'm getting back to an afternoon tea once in a while). I don't use sugar anymore or eat sweets (this is huge!) I stopped drinking alcohol years and years ago, so that doesn't factor in. And I use cannabis daily and judiciously (micro-dosing) to help with the symptoms. It's the only thing that I've tried that helps--California, where I live, is a legal state. It doesn't always help and sometimes it makes matters worse, but I've come to understand its effects well and when I know it's not going to work (set and setting is key to using cannabis medicinally) I don' use it. And I talk and write about my experience. I talk to my wife and I keep a journal (here on SA and on my computer).My computer journal is a conversation I have with myself and it's generally as honest as I can make it. I've told people in my extended family what I'm going through. I try not to blame anyone for my condition and if I do blame anyone, I blame myself. And when I blame myself I usually come around to the fact that if I can't be kind and loving to the self then the enemy has got hold of me and its winning, and then I shift my thinking to me-positive and then I'm back in the fight. We all conceptualize our suffering in different ways. I've taken a combative approach to the situation. There are many approaches. Meditation is helpful, especially in the mornings. I can't do it when I'm in an anxiety/insomnia cycle. I use a saying of my own that helps me face the future: "Keep your chin up and your eyes wide open." Myndfull I had tried and failed to stop Paxil several times (though never using a long, slow taper) and thought Celexa might be easier, so I shifted to Celexa in 2012. In August of 2014 I began a serious tapered withdrawal from Celexa (20 mg.), making monthly drops, mostly 10% of the last dose, sometimes more, sometimes less. In July of 2016 I took an early retirement at 59 in large part because of my intense withdrawal symptoms. Three years and eight months after beginning my taper, I stopped taking Celexa on 5/12/18. I am currently in recovery and I am very slowly getting better. I still have waves and some are quite bad. But overall the trend is toward healing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirage Posted July 29, 2018 Share Posted July 29, 2018 @myndfullThank you for the information. I am similar to you as far as the fight goes. I am not a, lay down and cry, type person. I am more of a, pick yourself up and keep moving. I think I am a little stubborn. lol I do work part time and I exercise 6 days a week. Three of those days are cardio on the treadmill and 3 are lifting weights. I was a runner before this journey began and I have not been able to go back to that yet because of the dizziness I have. However, I have been able to pick up the pace. I have always been a healthy eater and not a sugar person. I did have occasional caffeine before this but gave it up. Just this week, I have started having a small cup of coffee mid morning. Wasn't an alcohol drinker either, with the exception of an occasional glass of wine. Most everything I have read says, it is time. Good old time. I think a lot of patience comes in with that as well. I am an extremely faithful person so I rely on that to help see me through. It amazes me how confused the body is. I feel like mine no longer knows how to sleep, or relax or think. I can actually feel the confusion in my head at times. I have moments when I have to stop and think myself through simple tasks. I know the day will come when I will have all of this behind me and I look forward to it coming. This is the hardest journey. You called it hell. I think that is true. Hope you continue to heal and life brings amazing things your way. Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017 Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017 Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017 Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018 Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018 Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018 Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018 Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone, Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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