Jump to content
pug

pug Your miracle is coming, hang on!

Recommended Posts

A14n

Hi pug, 

 

Glad I found your post, did you get this fear/terror feeling that I am suffering with? It comes over me in waves and is pretty unbearable. Its worse in the morning and is with me most of the time lately. It's all I feel, and I have pretty severe depersonalisation and derealisation. No proper emotions 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MMMM

Hi Pug, I had a question for you too- did you have depression before you went on medication?

 

Did you ever question whether you were someone who could be off medication, or wonder if you had the type of depression that just required medication for life in order to not relapse?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pug
On 1/26/2019 at 7:28 AM, withhopeinmyheart said:

Hello pug, 

 

thank you so much for your success story and describing in so much detail what it feels like to come back! 

 

I'm new here and just today posted my introduction topic. 

 

Time is the key to healing, yet it terrifies me the most. I reinstated a tiny dose. Do you think it's possible that will make it a bit quicker for me? 

 

Also, I'm terrified of all this. I'm like a tiny mouse wanting to hide from everything in a hole. 

Do you think I can recover even if I don't grow with my improvements? 

If I'm unable to do anything, although trying, will I be okay in the end, when all I can do is wait it out? 

 

I'm so scared of doing it wrong! 

 

Wish you all the best! 

 

withhopeinmyheart

 

Hello,

 

I understand how scared you are; it is a very, very challenging process.  We all make mistakes as we do our best to cope and figure out how to navigate our way through withdrawal and recovery, but don’t worry because the mistakes will not keep you from healing.  If you just keep going and don’t give up, you will recover in the end and make it back to health and happiness.  So many others have done it and there is no reason that you won’t do it also.

 

 Get help here when you need it, this is such a wonderful resource!  And as I suggested to someone else recently:  Do your best to keep positive, read success stories or anything else that gives you hope and comfort; discover what coping tools help and use them as often as possible, and keep in your mind as much as possible that you are going to make it.  Do this each day and eventually the healing will start to show and you will begin to feel better.

 

Wishing you healing,

 

pug

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pug
On 1/26/2019 at 12:44 PM, gigi63 said:

Hi Pug.  Pug, I just want to thank you so much for coming back!!!!!  It means so much to me. I am pretty confident and can say all of US!!!!  You are not only sharing your story with us in your healing but you encourage us so beautifully!!!!  I look for your entries regularly.  I do not spend much time on the site but the site is a huge blessing to me because of you and your entries.  Always offering us hope and healing.  Thank you so much. Please continue to come back, if it isn’t asking too much.  You are a blessing as is your cold turkey story!!!!!  More than you can know.  GIGI.  

 

Hello,

 

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts, I appreciate it.  It is gratifying to know that just being honest and telling my story is help someone else.

 

Wishing you the best, and much healing,

 

pug

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pug
On 1/28/2019 at 5:12 PM, RealMe said:

Thank you, Pug.  Hope is so important, and you are giving me that.

Best wishes,

RealMe

 

Hi,

 

I agree that hope is a huge tool that we can use during this process to keep us focused on tomorrow and the promise of recovery.

 

A quote I read often was this one:

 

Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.

                 Thich Nhat Hanh

 

Wishing you healing,

 

pug

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pug
On 1/31/2019 at 8:28 AM, BB1979 said:

I can't read your story enough.  I drop my child off at school and go to the local library, log on, read your post and cry.  And cry and cry with misery and a little hope.  I'm not even a year.  Hope I can make it 3.5, if that's how long it takes.  Praying and praying.  Thank you for writing your success story.  It is literally saving my life.

 

Hello,

 

I am sorry that you are having to deal with the challenges of this process, it can be very difficult so say the least.  But realize that every day you are healing, even if you don’t see any evidence of it.  Your brain and body want to be healthy and whole, and given the chance that is what they will work toward.  And you don’t know when your healing will become evident and you will start to feel better!

 

It takes some folks several years, but not everyone, so you may recover much, much sooner!  So do your best to stay focused on hope, and keep hoping that tomorrow may be the day you will begin to feel better.  Do that enough days and then one day it will happen for you and you will begin to reclaim your life again. Just don’t quit and keep going!

 

I hope healing comes soon for you,

 

Pug

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pug
On 2/1/2019 at 8:38 AM, karenp said:

Hi Pug,

 

thanks for your kind words.  I am in what feels like a big setback after having to deal with a health issue which is still ongoing and the holidays and whatever else.  It’s really scaring me the intensity of the symptoms that have returned and the way they have morphed.  The fear and the thoughts are worse, more strange and unnerving than ever.  

 

Im trying to maintain the perspective that this is still just all part of the healing process.  But wow my faith in healing is being challenged big time right now.

 

warmly,

karen 

 

Hello there,

 

Yes, our faith that we will heal will be challenged over and over during this process.  I think it is a natural part of the process just like any other symptom that we deal with.  The 2 steps forward and 1 step back process that many of us endure is beyond challenging when we are suffering so severely.  But to have a setback, we must have had some little improvement, and if we have had any improvement it shows that it is possible for us to improve; and if improvement is possible then recovery is also!

 

This is why I sound like a broken record when I keep repeating to “Keep going and don’t give up!”; if we can just hang on and let time pass then the back and forth nature of recovery will begin to smooth out and our life and health will become more predictable! Symptoms will begin to fade and the fog begins to clear and we can see a new day dawn for us; one of health, happiness, desire to live again and be involved in life; it really does happen!

 

We just need to stick through the process day after day until our miracle begins to reveal itself.  Once that begins to happen all of the doubt, fears, anguishing, and questioning, no longer apply and are no longer relevant to our new life of freedom!

 

Wishing you good things soon,

 

pug

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pug
On 2/2/2019 at 1:03 PM, A14n said:

Hi pug, 

 

Glad I found your post, did you get this fear/terror feeling that I am suffering with? It comes over me in waves and is pretty unbearable. Its worse in the morning and is with me most of the time lately. It's all I feel, and I have pretty severe depersonalisation and derealisation. No proper emotions 

 

Hello,

 

Yes, for a long time I was terrified much of the time and fear was often the only emotion I felt.  It was such a huge challenge to try and cope when I was scared beyond what was rational; fear for no reason, just pure fear.  But it did not last, it slowly got better, and now it is all but gone!

 

Our emotional selves take a beating in recovery; going from no emotions, to out of control emotions and back again.  All we can do is use the coping skills that we have developed, keep our focus on the future and the promise of healing, and keep taking it day by day.

 

Hang in there and keep moving forward in the best way that you can,

 

pug

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
pug
On 2/5/2019 at 10:43 AM, MMMM said:

Hi Pug, I had a question for you too- did you have depression before you went on medication?

 

Did you ever question whether you were someone who could be off medication, or wonder if you had the type of depression that just required medication for life in order to not relapse?

 

Hello,

 

Yes, I dealt with depression, anxiety, and some OCD prior to beginning down the path that I was led to believe was the only one for me; medication.  Who knows what would have happened if I had been given counseling, some cognitive behavior therapy, and been told that things would improve if I gave it time.  After a few years I guessed that I was supposed to go on taking the meds forever because my doc never said anything about coming off, and I was too ignorant and trusting to ever question them.

 Looking back at it all I honestly believe that I improved in spite of the drugs and not because of them.

 

When I finally decided to quit for good, and the symptoms hit me, I knew that any type of challenge such as depression, anxiety, etc. would be as nothing compared to the hell of withdrawal!  If I could survive withdrawal and recover from it then I knew that I could deal with whatever issues came up for me after that.  

We are always changing, our bodies, brains, etc. and I am not the same person as when I started the medication, but I had to get off of the medication to see who I was now.  Was I still depressed, anxious, etc. or had I grown and moved beyond those things?

 

Well after much suffering and misery due to withdrawal, I have begun to emerge from all of that and I like what I am seeing.  I don’t feel depressed or anxious, I am getting healthier than I have been in decades, and I can see no reason that I won’t continue to improve and be completely renewed.  Withdrawal has been pure hell for me and I don’t wish it on anyone, but the reward of being drug-free and healthy is pretty amazing.

 

Sending hope and healing your way,

 

pug

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
MMMM

Hi @pug, thank you for this. It's very inspiring and I can relate. 

 

On 2/15/2019 at 8:55 AM, pug said:

When I finally decided to quit for good, and the symptoms hit me, I knew that any type of challenge such as depression, anxiety, etc. would be as nothing compared to the hell of withdrawal!  If I could survive withdrawal and recover from it then I knew that I could deal with whatever issues came up for me after that.  

 

This totally makes sense to me.

 

If... when... I have the opportunity to deal with regular old depression and anxiety again, I think they will feel like a walk in the park compared to this.

 

Thanks offering hope from the other side. :)

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×