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Altostrata

Hello, Sandman. Please start a topic for yourself in the Introductions forum so we can get to know you.

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On 5/2/2018 at 6:39 AM, musk said:

Hello, Pug.

Reading your story is very important to me. My question is, how long did insomnia last for you? and how long did akathisia last? Thank you.

 

Hello,

 

Insomnia and sleep issues have slowly improved over the time that I have been recovering.  There has never been a time where it suddenly got better or went away, just a very gradual improvement with many ups and downs along the way.  It was the same with akathisia although that pretty much ended for me by the end of the second year, thankfully as it was a terrible symptom.   The sleep issues still persist but have improved a great deal.  I can usually get at least 5-6 hours of sleep each night now and sometimes more, although with all of the waking up I need to be in bed 8 hours to get that 5-6 hours of sleep.  I usually don’t feel very rested when I wake up and mornings can be rough at times, but I am not complaining since I know just how bad it can be and I am happy to now be further along the path and sleep is getting better for me.  Hang in there, it takes time to heal and it seems like the most basic of bodily functions like sleep take the longest to sort themselves out.

 

Wishing you the best and a quick recovery.

 

pug

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On 5/5/2018 at 6:46 PM, Liamb123456 said:

Hi pug did your vision go back to normal I'm 8 half months out and mine is still very bad 

 

Hello,

 

Yes my vision issues have cleared up other than a very rare occasion where I have blurry vision, but it is usually short lived.  It is a scary symptom and if you have any doubts go and see a doctor just to ensure nothing else is going on.  My eye exam was good with no issues, which was reassuring and let me know that the issues were due to withdrawal and recovery.

 

I hope things are improving for you.

 

pug

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On 5/6/2018 at 1:48 PM, Melissa5000 said:

 

Hello Pug I want you to know that I read your story many times. Your story gives me hope! I am so happy that you wrote your story on SA.

 

It looks like you had a very hard time in the first years of your withdrawal. But looking backwards, did you notice some improvements after the first year? 

 

I am in heavy withdrawal at the moment as many of us are. I have heavy muscle pain and nerve pain and a burning feeling in my body. It is so bad, I can hardly walk. I can walk around 850 meter. Then I have to sit down. I feel very handicapped. How far could you walk in early withdrawal and what distance could you walk after a year? If you can remember it? When did you notice your first improvements even if they were small improvements? I am obviously looking for some bright spots to look forward to!  :D

 

I am very happy that you are doing so well! You deserve it after those heavy years. 

 

Hello,

 

I am sorry you are suffering so severely; I know that it is torture.  Improvements will come for you just as they did for me.  Mine came mostly in small measures, an extra few minutes of sleep, less nerve pain for the day, my stomach didn’t hurt so bad, or some other little thing that was “different” and let me know that there was a change.  It often changed right back to being bad, but I knew from reading success stories that if something changed at all, it was just a matter of time before it would improve and the change would be more permanent.  I also felt handicapped for a long time, unable to do much of anything and at times only able to walk from the bed to the chair or the car; unable to think at a basic level and sure that my life was pretty much over.  But I was wrong and things got better, I just had to wait, hold on, and stay alive long enough for the healing to begin to show itself.  Healing can happen and there is no reason it won’t happen for you also!

 

Everyone is different and you may experience healing in your own unique way and it could be more dramatic and sooner than me or many others.  So keep your hope alive and don’t stop!  Time can work miracles for us in this process.

 

pug

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On 5/6/2018 at 9:33 PM, Peachy said:

Hey Pug,

I am still in the throes of WD/tapering, and I was looking for some advice. i see that you did sugar-free. were you able to tolerate natural sugars, like honey and maple syrup, or coconut sugar? Just wondering if it would be helpful to cut these out too? How did you quench a sweet tooth??!!

Anyone else's input would be appreciated! 

 

 

Hello,

 

I tried many different things including diet changes like giving up sugar and sweeteners of any kind, gluten, alcohol, caffeine, etc.  At the time it helped me keep my hope alive that making these changes might help me feel better, and at that time I needed any type of hope that I could find.  I don’t actually think that the changes made much of a difference in reality as far as improving my symptoms, but they were needed because they kept me going and kept me hoping for a better tomorrow.  I eventually started slowing adding them back into my diet as my brain healed and I could accept that they were not going to be harmful to me.  That process took many months, but now I eat and drink anything that I want.  I still eat healthy, but if I want a doughnut, cup of coffee, or a beer, I have it and enjoy it.

 

I hope that improvements are coming your way soon!

 

pug

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On 5/9/2018 at 2:53 AM, musk said:

Those of you who have the experience, like you, Pug,  I'll be grateful if you tell me how does a window feel exactly? That changes?

 

Are there more windows once you've had a couple of brief windows? More time, more normal? More often? Or it has nothing to do and it is better not to expect anything?

 

A window is when your symptoms ease up and many of the terrible things that you are dealing with on a daily basis get better.  Whether that is for an hour or day, suddenly you get a hint of what it will be like when you start to feel better.  The windows I had lasted for a few hours or a day or so, but the symptoms always came back and it was very discouraging when they did.  But I would keep a journal and record when a window did occur so I could look back on it when I was suffering and know that it was possible for me to feel better and that suffering was not going to be never ending.  Some people never get windows and others have them regularly; each person has their own recovery path, but I have to believe that regardless of how the symptoms occur, we are healing and getting better the longer we go without the drugs in our system, or with less drugs if we are tapering.

 

 

I think it is better not to expect anything but have the knowledge that you are healing and getting better.  There are success stories here and elsewhere that point to the fact that we will make it out of this mess if we can keep going and let time do the healing work.  The stories of success include those that got no windows and those that did get them, so whatever your method of recovering, healing is happening!

 

Alll the best.

 

pug

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On 5/14/2018 at 1:07 PM, bgoggles1 said:

Hi pug, did you have the feeling of your brain banging on the sides of your head, sloshing around, dizziness in the head and severe zaps? It's horrid... 

 

Yes I had all of that and other bizarre symptoms like feeling that part of my brain was missing or I had a hole in my head, or like my brain was on fire and frying inside my skull.  As you know it is terrifying beyond belief and they are horrible symptoms; but they have gone away for the most part except for the occasional brain zap.  It is hard to believe that it will all go away eventually, but I am seeing it happen, it just take time.

 

I hope you are seeing signs of improvement.

 

pug

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On 5/19/2018 at 4:48 AM, Sandman said:

Pug, you gave me a new hope to live. I was on Zoloft 100 for 8 years. I am 27 years old now. The medicine has taken away my sexual function. I have stopped the medication 3 months ago but I am still unable to attain erection. Moreover, depression, dementia, mood swings, intense anxiety, sudden emotional outbursts are killing me. I think of killing myself as my life has become an unbearable tragedy. I am a walking dead man. 

 

However, your success story of recovery is giving me hope to have patience. Thank you. However, I don't know if I will ever have my normal sexual function back. Waiting to hear from you.

 

Hello,

 

I am very sorry to hear about your suffering.  Please believe me when I say that you can recover and beat this great challenge.  I know because I have been through it and have gotten so very much better!  Your life is not over, even though it may feel like that right now.  It is going to take time for the healing to happen, but it will happen and you can do this!  Take each day as your goal, just to make it through the day in the best way you can; doing what it takes to survive.  For me, I read success stories every day that I had printed out, over and over the same stories until I had them memorized.  I did what I could to deal with the symptoms and cope, whether that was lying in bed or trying to do a puzzle or sitting and looking out the window, or anything else I could think of to try and distract myself from the symptoms.  I kept a journal and wrote down how I was feeling and all of my frustration, hopelessness and fear that I would never be the same.  You just need to keep going, keep working at taking care of yourself and waiting for the healing to happen, because in my experience it will happen.

 

You have found this great forum and know what is happening to you and that is something to be grateful for.  This is a wonderful resource and the people here want to help you make it to recovery and there is so much great information here.

 

I know how scared and hopeless you are feeling, but as someone who has been there, I can honestly say that it will get better, just don’t quit and don’t give up!

 

I am sending you all the hope and comfort that I possibly can.

 

pug

 

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pug

Hello Everyone,

 

Time for an update.  I am celebrating 3.5 years off of medication and 1 year since I posted my success story.  So how am I doing now?  Well not a lot has change during this last year, I still have many of the same symptoms and issues that I did a year ago, but they are lessening and I have improved.  My process of recovery has been one of very slow, slow, gradual improvement with a great deal of back and forth, up and down progress.  I can only see the progress when I look back over the whole of my recovery as looking back a week, month, or even a year is not enough time to realize and see how I have improved; and I have improved!  This recovery process has been impossible to predict or really to even understand for me.  It makes no sense to me how long this can take and the manner in which we heal.  The only thing I can honestly share with you is that I am better, I am healing, and recovery is possible!

 

If you are reading this and have only been withdrawing/recovering for a short time, take heart, you may be fortunate to recover quickly and move on with your life.  We are all so different and no one can predict the recovery path and time frame it will take for each of us, so you might heal quickly.  If you have been at this process for a long time and are feeling hopeless, realize that so many others have endured long and difficult recoveries and went on to reclaim their lives.  We just have to do whatever it takes to make it through each day, because we just don’t know when our day will come, the day when we start to feel better; it could be tomorrow!  That is what kept me going through endless days of misery, (and still keeps me going), the thought that tomorrow might be the day when things would start to change, and then that day finally did arrive.  As Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going!”; and that seems to sum up my whole strategy when I have been at my worst or despaired for myself and the condition I was in; just keep going.

 

If I can share anything with you from my experience, it is that the longer you go the better things get!  I know that there are some of you that are suffering longer than I have; don’t see any improvements for years on end, and feel like they are cursed and will never heal.  But I have to believe that it can change, that given enough time we will all improve and heal.  So please keep going and make it through each day as best as you can, and keep your hope alive that change is possible and this long, dark night does end.

 

If you have any questions of me, please just ask.

 

Wishing Everyone continued healing.

 

pug

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powerback

🙏,great Thanks pug .continue healing to you .

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powerback
On ‎5‎/‎10‎/‎2018 at 5:07 AM, Peachy said:

thanks @powerback!

 

Your welcome Peachey.

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LexAnger

Hi Pug,

 

i just re-read your whole thread to get some hope as I'm in the darkest stage losing the entire ground fop rom a very complicated tapering and multiple severe post taper setbacks.

 

im lucky to be right at the time seeing your update you made 2 hours ago. 

 

I want to thank you for coming back to give others hope and let you know how much your success, faith and streghth mean to me.

 

i hope you continuous healing and all the best to the new life you regained after such a incredible battle!

 

love and hugs,

lex

 

 

 

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Hosanna
27 minutes ago, LexAnger said:

Hi Pug,

 

i just re-read your whole thread to get some hope as I'm in the darkest stage losing the entire ground fop rom a very complicated tapering and multiple severe post taper setbacks.

 

im lucky to be right at the time seeing your update you made 2 hours ago. 

 

I want to thank you for coming back to give others hope and let you know how much your success, faith and streghth mean to me.

 

i hope you continuous healing and all the best to the new life you regained after such a incredible battle!

 

love and hugs,

lex

 

 

 

Lex, I’m sorry you are suffering so... it’s  horrible predicament we find ourselves in. Such pain, anguish, and  So so erratic and confusing. I’m not on this site much but when I have I’ve seen you helping people. Thanks so much for your kindness and selflessness. It’s so hard to get out of ourselves and help others while suffering, and you do that. I wish you hope and healing. Hang in there. 

 

 

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Hosanna

Thanks for coming back and helping us Pug. I really appreciate your knowledge of our illness/injury and your ability to communicate so honestly and clearly about it all. Like you did, I’ve found Baylissa’s books and counsel Invaluable for maintaining hope. 

Thanks for the knowledge, information and hope you give us. I hope you keep getting better and better. 

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Melissa5000

Hello Pug, thank you so much for answering and coming back. I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. You give me hope again. 

 

Thank you for your update too. It is good to read that you keep improving over the years. 😊

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mirage

Pug so glad to hear success! I am 1 year into being healthy again. My worse symptoms are constant dizziness, occasional vertigo and my brain feels like there is a disconnect between a lot of things. I have times when it actually feels scrambled. It is like a computer with a bad virus. I am staying positive and doing as much as I can each and every day. I have to maintain some type of life. I keep telling myself, "this too shall pass". How long did it take you for the dizziness to go away? I know my journey may not be the same as yours, but it is good to hear that these symptoms do go away.

 

8 years of Welbutrin 300xl

5/2017 quit cold turkey

9/2017 was put on 15mg Remeron 

10/2017 upped Remeron to 30mg

1/2018 started wean off Remeron

3/2018 last dose of Remeron

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FarmGirlWorks

As another Zoloft survivor, I so appreciate you're coming back here and updating us with your recovery... so much hope when it is desperately needed.

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Liamb123456
18 hours ago, FarmGirlWorks said:

As another Zoloft survivor, I so appreciate you're coming back here and updating us with your recovery... so much hope when it is desperately needed.

How are you today did you cold turkey 

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FarmGirlWorks

My info is in my signature and you and I messaged a bit. I'm hanging in there, mainly depressed.

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bgoggles1
On 6/7/2018 at 1:29 PM, pug said:

Hello Everyone,

 

Time for an update.  I am celebrating 3.5 years off of medication and 1 year since I posted my success story.  So how am I doing now?  Well not a lot has change during this last year, I still have many of the same symptoms and issues that I did a year ago, but they are lessening and I have improved.  My process of recovery has been one of very slow, slow, gradual improvement with a great deal of back and forth, up and down progress.  I can only see the progress when I look back over the whole of my recovery as looking back a week, month, or even a year is not enough time to realize and see how I have improved; and I have improved!  This recovery process has been impossible to predict or really to even understand for me.  It makes no sense to me how long this can take and the manner in which we heal.  The only thing I can honestly share with you is that I am better, I am healing, and recovery is possible!

 

If you are reading this and have only been withdrawing/recovering for a short time, take heart, you may be fortunate to recover quickly and move on with your life.  We are all so different and no one can predict the recovery path and time frame it will take for each of us, so you might heal quickly.  If you have been at this process for a long time and are feeling hopeless, realize that so many others have endured long and difficult recoveries and went on to reclaim their lives.  We just have to do whatever it takes to make it through each day, because we just don’t know when our day will come, the day when we start to feel better; it could be tomorrow!  That is what kept me going through endless days of misery, (and still keeps me going), the thought that tomorrow might be the day when things would start to change, and then that day finally did arrive.  As Churchill said, “If you’re going through hell, keep going!”; and that seems to sum up my whole strategy when I have been at my worst or despaired for myself and the condition I was in; just keep going.

 

If I can share anything with you from my experience, it is that the longer you go the better things get!  I know that there are some of you that are suffering longer than I have; don’t see any improvements for years on end, and feel like they are cursed and will never heal.  But I have to believe that it can change, that given enough time we will all improve and heal.  So please keep going and make it through each day as best as you can, and keep your hope alive that change is possible and this long, dark night does end.

 

If you have any questions of me, please just ask.

 

Wishing Everyone continued healing.

 

pug

Hi pug, are you still able to exercise and run like you said before? What symptoms do you have left? Are you still able to function and live a pretty normal life? Also, how is your brain fog??? 

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ShadowMan

I read your story every week @pug, I thought tha I was doing better and out of nowhere, new sympthoms appeared, terrible ones, after them I have small windows where I feel much better, but he bad ones keep coming back.

I wanted to ask you about this symptoms in particular. When your insomnia was really bad, at some point, did you lost your ability to sleep, like when you are falling asleep you get some jolt/shock in you stomach, and this feeling persisted throught the day(like that classical anxiety feeling of butterflies in the stomach but worse).

Oh just one more thing, did you experienced some kind of numbness in skin? Like sensitivity diminished?

Thank you @pug, I really hope that you finish your recovery to 100%

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Melissa5000

Last night when I laid in bed just before I fell asleep I remember I got a shock through my body. It happened only one time. After it I slept. I have had this weird symptom every now and then. Very strange. I didn't even recognize it as a withdrawal symptom. But your story Shadowman makes me thinking..........

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nicolantana

Thank you so much Pug! I echo the question 'Are you living a pretty normal life?' exercising, socializing, ability to work should you choose, range of emotions, etc...

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