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pug

Yes, it will feel like a miracle when it happens for you; and it will happen for you, it is just a matter of time.  I want to get that out there first thing; it is my belief that we will all heal in time; it has happened for me and is continuing to happen and it will happen for you.  Am I completely 100% done healing?  No.  Am I so, so much better?  Oh yes!  Now for some basics:

 

Male, mid 50s, took zoloft for over 20 year, quit cold turkey 3.5 years ago, was off 5 months, thought I was relapsing, so started prozac for 3.5 months and then quit that cold turkey.  Then I found S.A. and discovered what I was dealing with was not a relapse but withdrawal (and recovery).  So yes, I did everything completely wrong and more than once!  I am proof that given time we can heal.

 

I currently just celebrated 30 months of being drug free.  Now, how to begin to describe the inhumane torture that I have endured until very recently; not sure but I will try.  I have gone through both the windows and waves pattern and the continuous misery pattern.  I was one of those that suffered a great deal after quitting, but really got slammed at about 6 months off.  At 1 year I was barely functioning; at 1.5 years I was still miserable, and at 2 years off I was wondering if I was doomed to endless suffering with no end.  But now as I have hit the 2.5 year mark I feel as if I have turned the corner.

 

Windows and waves general comprised the first year and then it became continuous misery for pretty much the next 6 to 12 months or more; and then back to windows and waves.  My last serious wave was in months 25-26 and now finally what feels like solid progress the last month or so.  I am hesitant to list symptoms because I know how much it use to scare me to read what others were going through; but on the other hand it really helped when a new symptom would start, because I knew it was part of the recovery process and not some disease or sickness, and most of these are gone or have become minimal although they lasted for months or years.  And just because I experienced them does not mean that you will, we all have a very individual road to recovery; so here they are in no specific order:

 

Dark depression, anxiety, paranoia, obsessive compulsive, panic attacks, intrusive/obsessive thoughts that tortured me, hopelessness, irrational thinking, suicidal thoughts, brain zaps, intense organic fear, severe inner-body tension that felt like my whole insides were clamped up, sexual dysfunction, severe tension, tremors and pain in the back of my legs and calves, terrible shoulder and upper arm pain, mania, extreme bloating and stomach pain, nausea, dizziness, vertigo, feeling like my brain was on fire, feeling like a part of my brain was missing, feeling like a bomb had gone off in my head, floating head feeling, super-hot face, body temperature regulation problems – being super-hot or cold, constipation, dehydration, lack of appetite and weight loss, feeling dead, anhedonia, akathisia, mood swings, insomnia, terrible brain fog and inability to think clearly, sensitive vision and hearing, inching and burning skin, cold like symptoms, head congestion, phantom smells, constant tinnitus, severe fatigue and exhaustion, health anxiety, I could not read, listen to music, or meditate, heart palpitations, random traveling aching and stabbing pain throughout my body, headaches, and so many other symptoms that I can’t remember.  The torture, pain, misery, suffering and utter despair was never ending…until it did finally start to end for me and it will for you too.

 

Did anything help me along the way?  I tried many things; acupuncture, vitamins and supplements, alpha-stim, gluten free diet, no sugar diet, no caffeine, no alcohol, and anything else I could do to try and feel better.  Did it work?  In a sense it all worked because it kept me focused on recovery and gave me hope when I had none, and the possibility that I might feel better.  But time passing has been the real healing agent; although that was the last thing I wanted to hear when I was suffering so intensely.  I did find that mindfulness, breathing exercises and physical exercise helped when all else failed and I was so truly desperate.  Many hours were spent just trying to pay attention to my breath going in and out; and I still use this practice as a relaxation method.  It also helped me greatly to visit this website daily as well as Benzo-Buddies.  I read success stories for hours at a time, read the Bloom in Wellness facebook page each day and anything by Baylissa Frederick and also Don Killian.

 

So, what remains for me?  I still have tinnitus (although it has gotten much better over the last month), stomach bloating and pain on occassion, nerve pain, some brain zaps at night, fatigue and tiredness, and sleep issues.  If I had to put some percentages on where I am at now I would say physically I am at about 85-90% healed and mentally/emotionally at 90-95% healed.  I now eat anything that I choose although I eat as healthily as possible because I value life so much now and I want to live as long as possible; I exercise regularly and it feels wonderful; I enjoy caffeinated drinks including regular tea and coffee which I had given up for many months; I also drink wine and beer a couple times a week if I choose to and enjoy it.  I am in the best shape since high school, and have lost 75 pounds (on purpose). Life is good again and just the simple things are more than enough to bring joy and happiness.

 

So that is my story and I hope it will encourage you as you read it that you will recover and become yourself again.  I remember reading similar statements in success stories and thinking, “Yea, right, that is easy for you to say, you are not suffering through this terrible hell right now!”  And maybe you are thinking the same thing as I did, but please listen to my words; you will make it, you will recover, you will feel better, and you will join me in loving life once again; just please don’t give up or give in and keep going!

 

As I sit here with a cup of coffee and contemplate what I have been through the last several years, it all seems so strange and foreign.  Success stories promised that I would make it to recovery, and they were right, so now it is my turn to tell you that you will make it, “You will make it!”.  Wishing everyone here all the best and a quick recovery.  Please let me know if you have any questions and I will be happy to try and help.

 

All my love.

 

Pug


20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months
Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014
Found this forum the last day of 2014
The secret is to keep going!  Time will heal.


 

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nicolantana

Pug!! What a great post!! Thank you so much for sharing with us!!!

 

my main condition is Anhedonia. 5 months off meds and largely empty...no emotions, no motivation, drive,  very little brain activity, not connected with anything around me etc...

 

did you experience similar?? were you without emotions?? how did they come back?? were you a zombie for a while and now human again???

 

Thanks in advance!

 

Nick


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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theloneranger86

wow pug. So did the sexual dysfunction also resolve ? Are you now back to normal , would you say , when it comes to libido and erections ? Sorry to be graphic about it . But its something thats been bothering me for than a year. A lot of the other physical symptoms have gone away for me ,but sexual dysfunction and anhedonia remain and they have limited my life in a big way . Im looking to get out of this mess and live my life again. 

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Chicago77

Congrats Pug!! Thank you so much for coming back and posting your Sucess Story. It's so helpful for others. I see that you still have nerve pain. Has that lessened in intensity over time? Did the burning skin lessen as well?


Took 10 mg of Lexapro for 15 years. Started to taper in October 2015. Took last 1mg dose in March 2016. Started having side effects end of March 2016. Symptoms include: anxiety, heart palpitations, shaky, chronic fatigue, body feels like lead(so heavy), brain fog and dizziness and really bad pain especially on right side of body. 

 

Symptoms as of 10/18/16- Burning skin, widespread body pain, some insomnia, some fatigue, some brain fog, anxiety upon waking up, numbing and tremor in pinky and ring finger on left hand, cracking/popping/stiff joints. 

 

Symptoms as of 4/19/17- A little burning skin, muscle pain, FATIGUE, some brain fog, tremor in pinky and ring finger on left hand, cracking/popping/stiff joints, blurry vision, eye floaters, sciatica.

 

Symptoms as of 10/3/17- Physical symptoms-- Very little burning skin that comes and goes, some muscle and nerve pain that comes and goes, tremor in pinky and ring finger, muscle twitches, cortisol spike in the morning(heart palpitations), cracking/popping joints all those this has gotten a little better lately, blurry vision and eye floaters that come and go, sciatica(less intense now), fatigue which is still very bad but better than a year ago. Mental symptoms-- Depression, anxiety, hopelessness, lack of motivation or interest, brain fog(trouble focusing and concentrating), ruminating thoughts. All these come and go. 

 

 

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DrugfreeProf

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this, Pug. How much we all needed to hear this! Bless you and please keep posting!


Drugfree Prof

Psychologist and Psychotherapist

Prozac 20 mg for approx 3 months during 2000, withdrew, no w/d sx

Prozac 10 - 30 mg Jan. 2008 - Dec. 2014

Ritalin 30-40 mg Jan. 2008 - Mar. 2015

W/d sx from Prozac started around 3 months after cessation--crying spells, depressed mood, lethargy; resolved in 8 - 12 mos. post cessation

Used and continue to use a TON of alternative methods--meditation, mindfulness, nutrition. supplements, exercise, etc.

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gigi63

Thank you Pug!!!! How wonderful for you!!!! Congratulations!!!! Thank you for coming back to give us encouragement that the light is coming!!! You are right, when in it, seems like it will last forever!!!! We are all so pleased for you!!! I have a question Pug, now that you are seeing the light, emotions are so close to 100 percent back to normal, would you say, as others have, that you cannot even revert back to the neuro pain, angst, fear???! Again, thank you so much and congratulations!!!!

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gigi63

Pug, I am also wondering what kind of exercise you do and how did you know when and how much would be OK???

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gigi63

Another question Pug, so I guess this is three, how did you know you were turning a corner??? What was happening to you and in what ways??? Thank you.

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apace41

Well done, Pug!

 

Thanks for returning to share with all of us still on the road.

 

Please stick around as it is SO HELPFUL for members to hear from those who have made it. Especially a 20+ year med man.

 

Best,

 

Andy


Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Distraut

Pug, what a wonderful post.  Thank you so much for telling us about this.

 

I so hope my 28 year old son, Akrontes, who is 13 months into cold turkey from Zoloft and suffering terribly from OCD and connected mental torment and thinks he will never recover, will gain some hope from your story which I have printed out for him. 

 

How did your mental torment resolve itself?  Was it gradual or did it lift quite suddenly and how long did it take before you got some relief?

 

Thank you in advance.


cannabis: Spring 2002 - Dec. 2007; regularly smoked, stopped cold turkey; symptoms: paranoid and depressed

Paroxetine: 20 mg July 2008, 40 mg October, 20 mg spring 2009, 0 mg summer 2009

Depakote (sodium valproate): October 2008 - Spring 2009

Haloperdidol 1 week Oct. 2008, H caused seizures, went to A&E;  stopped taking it.

Citalopram few weeks in the fall of 2009 to deal with withdrawal symptoms from stopping paroxetine

Paroxetine round 2: 20 mg Feb - summer 2010 -20mg don't remeber if I went up to 40mg

Venlafaxine & sodium valproate (again): Sep 2010 - Summer 2012  

SERTRALINE: November 2012 - May 2016 , 50-100mg (few days @ 150mg in Summer '15). a complete freak out at the end of April. 

May 2016 Prescribed Lithium and Abilify HAVE NOT TAKEN

No medications May 2016 - October 2016

Hospitalised - November 13th 2016 - Prescribed 15 mg Mirtazapine/Remeron. Reducing since 24 December 2016.  9 June 2017 medication free. 

 

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nicolantana

No pressure here at all pug! Just the whole crew waiting like pilgrims for your revelations ;)


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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Pluto

Wow! This is great to read. Congratulations on your successful recovery. I envy you. :) I am also inspired by you. I felt teary reading that. Yeah, I am an emotional hot mess right now, but the tears are of joy and hope. I pray to get to where you are one day. 


Started Xanax and Escitalopram (Lexapro) - 2008 May

Stopped Xanax in 2014 Oct

Started Seroquel and Neurontin in 2014 Oct (Weight gain 20kgs in 6 months)

Stopped Seroquel and Neurontin 2015 June

Stopped Escitalopram (Lexapro) 2016 Dec

 

Taking: Magnesium,  Evening Primrose, Vitamin C, Iron Fumarate (Chronic anemia), Levothyroxine, Triiodothyronine.

Year 1 was tough. Year 2 I started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Year 3 was good. 

3 years drug free on December 25, 2019.  

 

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Hopefull

Congratulations Pug!

 

Time is a healer. Your success story uplifts my spirts. Wishing you health and happiness! :)


DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Santino

Hi Pug

So glad you re winning your life back. I really wish a nice and speedy recovery....

All the best


2015 -  2016 Xanax only rescue doses of 0.125 mg 1-2 times per month
 March 2016 0.125Mg * 2 Xanax for 10 days.

20 March 2016 0.25 Mg * 2 Xanax for one week. 1 April 2016 Tranxene 5 mg and Fevarin but bad reaction for 5 days.4 April 2016 25 Mg Amitryptiline + 6 MG bromazepam at night

Started tapering Bromazepam 6 days later reached up to 3 MG in 10 days and withdrawal. Pdoc asked to go 6 MG again.

10 of May started Remeron 15 MG and started tapering Bromazepam again.

SINCE 09/06/2016 BENZO FREE - Started Tapering Remeron 04/07/2016

 

04/Jul/16 12.8 Mg, 11/Aug/16 12 Mg, 20/Aug/16 11Mg, 3/Sept/16 10Mg, 11/Sept/16 9 Mg, 30/Sept/16 8.1 Mg, 14/Oct/16 7.25 Mg, 17/Nov/16 6.7, 23/Nov/16 6.5, 2/Dec/16 6.25, 9/Dec/16 6Mg, 25/Dec/16 5.7Mg, 4/Jan/17 5.4Mg, 20/Jan/17 5.2Mg, 07/Feb/17 5 Mg, 15/Feb/17 4.8Mg, 27/Feb/17 4.5Mg, 15/Mar/17 4.2Mg, 23/Mar/17 4Mg, 1/Apr/17 3.7Mg, 14/Apr/17 3.4Mg, 27/Apr/17 3.1Mg, 06/May/17 2.8Mg, 22/May/17 2.6Mg, 31/May/17 2.3Mg 09/Jun/17 2Mg, 20/Jun/17 1.7Mg, 29/Jun/17 1.4Mg, 11/Jul/17 1.2Mg, 20/Jul/17 1Mg, 31/Jul/17 0.8Mg, 11/Aug/17 0.6Mg, 23/Aug/17 0.5Mg, 05/Sept/17 0.4Mg, 13/Sept/17 0.3Mg. 22/Sept/17 0.2Mg, 03/Oct/17 0.15Mg, 10/Oct/17 0.1Mg, 23/Oct/17 0.05Mg, 22/Nov/17 0.025Mg, 06/DECEMBER/2017 MIRT FREEE.

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dini84

Thank you for this post Pug! You've given us all a lot of hope and something positive to turn my mind to when waves hit and it decides to focus on the negative and the pain. Thank you so much!!!


January 2014: Started 25mg Sertraline. 

April 2016: Up to 75mg of Sertraline.

June 2016: Completely off Sertraline.

September 20, 2016: Got hit with WD symptoms.

September 22nd: Lexapro 10mg for 3 weeks. Doctor Cold turkeyed me off that.

October 2016: Buspirone 30mg - Bad reaction. Tapered off Buspirone while reinstating back on to Sertraline. 

October 26 2016 - Sertraline was reinstated. Titrated from 12.5mg - 57mg.

March 2018 - stabilized on 57mg now. 

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LexAnger

Thank you so much Pug for sharing your experience and helping everyone here! Your success can be life saving!

 

I'm so so happy for you for making it to the other side of this most horrendous hell!

 

Wish you speedy 100% recovery!!


Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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apathetic

thank you so, so much for sharing this.

 

firstly, thank you for describing your symptoms. i'm currently dealing with brain fog aka i can't think clearly at all, better said i can't think, aggression, apathy, lack of motivation.

but at the first place - cognition, because i messed up and took things that could only worsen my state, and they did.

 

sharing success stories is very important and i'm glad that you came here to share yours.

the thing that i'm the most glad for to read is "life is good again, i enjoy simple things". so, it in fact is possible to go back to the normal state.


My withdrawal journey (click)

 

"If you're going through hell - keep going".

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Itzakadoozee

thank you so, so much for sharing this.

 

firstly, thank you for describing your symptoms. i'm currently dealing with brain fog aka i can't think clearly at all, better said i can't think, aggression, apathy, lack of motivation.

but at the first place - cognition, because i messed up and took things that could only worsen my state, and they did.

 

sharing success stories is very important and i'm glad that you came here to share yours.

the thing that i'm the most glad for to read is "life is good again, i enjoy simple things". so, it in fact is possible to go back to the normal state.

I can't think clearly either since my brain was destabilized during a fast taper. Hopefully as we heal we should be able to think better. I'm still on 3 mg escatalopram btw

2005-2015 sertaline, 2015 to November 2018 escatalopram. Used liquid titration to drop doses. By 0.5mg at first then drops as small as 0.01mg at end of taper. Jumped of at 0.02mg

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anongrl5590

Wow great success story, Pug! I remember I had PM'd you awhile ago and your message to me gave me the heart to keep pushing through. I read through your old posts and seems like during this horrific stage of your life, you were still able to manage a positive attitude above it all  :)

 

I can also relate to the hundreds of symptoms you listed. Did you ever get these symptoms too? -- eye floaters, pins + needles in hands and feet, really bad painful electric sensation all over the body, numb skin feeling, acid reflux, OCD looping music/thoughts in head?  


My medication -- Prozac
August 2015: Started on 10mg/day
September 2015 to May 2016: Increased to 20mg/day
May 2016: Abruptly stopped 20mg for 2 weeks (withdrawal symtoms arose but assumed it was worsened depression)
June 2016 to August 2016: increased to 40mg (my body reacted very badly to this dose)
August 2016: decreased back to 20mg
September 2016: tapered off 10mg this month alone
September 30, 2016: last day of Prozac
October 2016: month long window
November 2016-Present: WD symptoms (too many physical sxs and some mental sxs)
February 5-20, 2017: Reinstated at 1-2mg // February 21, 2017: Back to no meds

 

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PluckyPony

Yay! This post is life, pug!  It always lifts my spirit when I read stories of courage and perseverance, even in the midst of great adversity.   I am grateful to you for sharing your story, giving hope to so many people in the process.


2006-2009 Zyprexa and Wellbutrin (dc Wellbutrin cold turkey, dc Zyprexa cold turkey with disastrous results) 2009-2010 Transitioned from Zyprexa to Abilify 2010-2015 Reduced from 20 mg of Abilify to 8mg. Cold turkeyed once during this period but finally learned my lesson.  12/2015 -  8mg of Abilify.  04/15/ 2016 -  7mg of Abilify. 09/15/2016 - 6.3mg of Abilify.  11/2016 - 5.7 mg of Abilify.  11/30/2016 - 5.1mg of Abilify. 01/2017 - 4.6mg of Abilify,  02/2017 - 4.1 of Abilify, 03/2017 - 3.8 of Abilify, 04/2017 - 3.4 of Abilify, 05/2017 - 3.0mg of Abilify, 07/2017 2.7mg of Abilify, 8/2017 2.5mg to 2.3 of Abilify , 9/2017 2mg to 1.8mg of Abilify, 10/2017 400mg of Abilify Maintena, unknown amounts of paroxine (sp), geodon and unknown benzo (forced), 11/2017 Abilify 6.0mg , 12/2017 Abilify 5.5 , 1/2018 Abilify 5.0mg, 3/2018 Abilify 4.5mg

 

It's always darkest before dawn.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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pug

Pug!! What a great post!! Thank you so much for sharing with us!!!

 

my main condition is Anhedonia. 5 months off meds and largely empty...no emotions, no motivation, drive,  very little brain activity, not connected with anything around me etc...

 

did you experience similar?? were you without emotions?? how did they come back?? were you a zombie for a while and now human again???

 

Thanks in advance!

 

Nick

 

Nick,

 

I did have anhedonia, and I felt dead inside like a zombie; and yes I am now human again!  I felt disconnected from myself and everyone and everything around me, like I was enclosed in a small space with no contact with the outside world even when I was moving around in it. A friend or family member could have died right in front of me and I would not have felt anything.  It was very hard to deal with and I was sure that I was doomed to feel that way forever; but I was wrong!  My emotions came back in big swings for me mostly; breaking down crying for 1/2 hour, or having a lot of anger and irritation, being over emotional, feeling a glimmer of joy for a few minutes, and then back to no emotion.  I had a very hard time controlling my emotions when they started to return, so that was another challenge.  Slowly but surely my emotions have evened out and are much more stable and "normal" (or what is normal for me and feels right). I feel again; the full spectrum of human emotions and it is is wonderful.  You will too, just get through each day as best as you can and time will bring your emotions back on line.  I am hoping that it will happen for you very soon.

 

All the best.

 

pug


20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months
Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014
Found this forum the last day of 2014
The secret is to keep going!  Time will heal.


 

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pug

wow pug. So did the sexual dysfunction also resolve ? Are you now back to normal , would you say , when it comes to libido and erections ? Sorry to be graphic about it . But its something thats been bothering me for than a year. A lot of the other physical symptoms have gone away for me ,but sexual dysfunction and anhedonia remain and they have limited my life in a big way . Im looking to get out of this mess and live my life again. 

 

Hello,

 

The sexual dysfunction has gotten much, much better!  No worries on asking graphic questions; if we don't get real about these things we can't help each other!  It is difficult to gauge whether I am back to "normal" because the drugs killed my libido and sexual abilities, and I was on them so long that I don't really know what is normal for a man my age.  I can tell you that my desire has returned, erections are much more reliable and orgasms have become intense again.  I doubted if I would ever desire sex again, be able to perform, or get any pleasure from it.  I am lucky to have an understanding partner who has stood by me as I have healed and recovered my abilities again.  I can tell you that it is so much better than when I was on the drugs, and has gotten better as I have recovered, I feel like it will continue to improve, just like everything else.  Sex is wonderful again and I am eternally grateful that it has become a part of my life once more.  I see no reason to doubt that it will be the same for you; just give it time, as frustrating as that is when we are suffering, but really time will make the difference.  I hope that this area of your recovery will start to improve very soon; you will be so thankful and happy when it does, just as I am.

 

Keep us posted on your recovery.

 

pug


20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months
Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014
Found this forum the last day of 2014
The secret is to keep going!  Time will heal.


 

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nicolantana

Thank you so much Pug. Thanks for coming back to us. And thanks for your detailed response. That's exactly how I'm feeling but I will persevere. And I'm aware the return of emotion could be a big challenge, but I'll be ready for it.

 

regards,

 

Nick


late July...lexapro 10 seroquel 25.....due to mild depression......adverse reaction, suicidal thoughts, hospitalization

August....felt that meds were ripping stomach apart....docs didn't believe me..upped meds to seroquel 125, lexapro 20, mirtazapine 30, olanzapine 20....stayed on these drugs unitl mid november......severe anhedonia all the time...mid novemeber 2016 , began taper.....very small windows of emotion...Christmas....off everything by Christmas day......last six weeks, cried and laughed on a number of occasions for first time since taking initial meds....8 occasions of strong emotion over 6 weeks in ealry 2016.......doubting recovery......

BIG WINDOW IN july 2017, felt incredible, lasted a month or so, felt close to recovered...window left, september to Chrimstas 17 was anhedonic hell.....Turn of the year, January 2018, some very strong days (a window) offering renewed hope

back to hell until late February 2018, strong 10 day window....followed by anhedonic wave for 7 months straight! not a flicker of normalcy

September 2018 ...incredible window...followed by three month wave.January 2019.... a strong window

window subsided, but new baseline was higher.....life since January 2019 ( 9 months and counting) has been far better. Complete anhedonia is gone!! God, I've tears writing that. I am far from recovered, but far from hell...to use a scale, if life is rated out of a hundred, I was about minus 50 for the majority of 2 years..I know feel about 30 per cent of self, experiences intermittent flickers of normal life regularly....My days have more quality and I am optimistic of recovery. 

 

 

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theloneranger86

Such a genuine response . Pug , thanks a lot for taking the time to write this. 

I hope I see the day when I can write my recovery story here . 

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Distraut

Thank you for coming back and keeping hope alive for us all Pug.  I join with theloneranger86 in waiting in anticipation of writing another success story in this thread.


cannabis: Spring 2002 - Dec. 2007; regularly smoked, stopped cold turkey; symptoms: paranoid and depressed

Paroxetine: 20 mg July 2008, 40 mg October, 20 mg spring 2009, 0 mg summer 2009

Depakote (sodium valproate): October 2008 - Spring 2009

Haloperdidol 1 week Oct. 2008, H caused seizures, went to A&E;  stopped taking it.

Citalopram few weeks in the fall of 2009 to deal with withdrawal symptoms from stopping paroxetine

Paroxetine round 2: 20 mg Feb - summer 2010 -20mg don't remeber if I went up to 40mg

Venlafaxine & sodium valproate (again): Sep 2010 - Summer 2012  

SERTRALINE: November 2012 - May 2016 , 50-100mg (few days @ 150mg in Summer '15). a complete freak out at the end of April. 

May 2016 Prescribed Lithium and Abilify HAVE NOT TAKEN

No medications May 2016 - October 2016

Hospitalised - November 13th 2016 - Prescribed 15 mg Mirtazapine/Remeron. Reducing since 24 December 2016.  9 June 2017 medication free. 

 

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Gridley

Pug, you are a life-saver.  Thank you.  


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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pug

Congrats Pug!! Thank you so much for coming back and posting your Sucess Story. It's so helpful for others. I see that you still have nerve pain. Has that lessened in intensity over time? Did the burning skin lessen as well?

 

Hello Chicago77,

 

The burning skin has pretty much gone away!  For the longest time the skin down the right side of my back would burn, tingle and feel strange.  I also had burning areas on my feet, thighs, other areas, and had burning nipples too; now all gone for the most part.  I occasionally have the slightest hint of burning, but it is gone quickly.  During this recovery the burning skin would go away for a little bit every now and then, but always returned; so frustrating!  But once again, in time, it has healed and no longer tortures me.

 

I still have nerve pain, but that has improved also.  The pain comes and goes of its own accord and in random places throughout my body; lately in my left buttock running down my entire left leg.  It can be very painful still, but it is now much more manageable and I can deal with it.  The stabbing pains have also improved and have lessened over time.  I am confident that as I continue to recover and time passes, this will improve and eventually go away for good.

 

I hope that your recovery is coming along and you are seeing improvements.

 

pug


20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months
Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014
Found this forum the last day of 2014
The secret is to keep going!  Time will heal.


 

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pug

Thank you Pug!!!! How wonderful for you!!!! Congratulations!!!! Thank you for coming back to give us encouragement that the light is coming!!! You are right, when in it, seems like it will last forever!!!! We are all so pleased for you!!! I have a question Pug, now that you are seeing the light, emotions are so close to 100 percent back to normal, would you say, as others have, that you cannot even revert back to the neuro pain, angst, fear???! Again, thank you so much and congratulations!!!!

 

Hi triplem15,

 

You are absolutely spot on- I can not revert or relive the fear, angst, depression, hopelessness, and utter despair that I once felt almost continuously for what seemed like forever.  It just isn't there. As others have said, you look back and wonder, "What just happened"?  I read my old journal, or think back and although I can remember it all, it just doesn't have the same traumatic sensation or impact.  It is very weird, but understandable when you consider that we have a brain injury that we are healing from.  Every so often I will have a hint of it, but that is all and it is gone quickly, so my fear of relapse has gone away, and that is why it feels like I have finally turned the corner.

 

I hope that things are improving for you.  All the best.

 

pug


20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months
Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014
Found this forum the last day of 2014
The secret is to keep going!  Time will heal.


 

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pug

Hello Everyone,

 

A couple things came to mind recently that I wanted to share.  During the worst of my recovery, when I was dealing with extreme anxiety, akathisia, and I feared going to bed to try and sleep, I would take a hot epsoms salt bath right before getting into bed.  I used baking soda and epsoms salt in large quantities and soaked in the hottest water I could take for about 20 minutes while listening to guided meditations.  I then went immediately to bed and tried for sleep, or at least to get some relaxation.  I feel that the baths helped, and maybe they would offer you some relief.

 

Another thing that helped was keeping a journal.  Writing down my thoughts and feelings; how bad I felt and my symptoms helped me a great deal.  It was also great that when I felt a little better on a day and made notes on it, I could look back and reassure myself that I actually did feel better for a little bit and didn't imagine it.  I copied success stories and quotes and pasted them in there and also wrote my own positive affirmations to repeat hour after hour.  I feel like these things did help.  I kept an electronic journal in a word doc. and also a paper one with success stories and positive affirmations and quotes.  I would read both over and over each day until one day I no longer felt that I needed to.

 

Hoping that everyone is seeing improvements soon!

 

pug


20+ years of Zoloft 50-100 mg CT 03/2014 for 5 months
Back on Prozac 20 mg for 4 months CT since 11/2014
Found this forum the last day of 2014
The secret is to keep going!  Time will heal.


 

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Gridley

You are a gem!


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Distraut

Dear Pug

 

Sorry to bother you again, but could you tell us a bit about your obsessive thinking, OCD?  Did anything help to distract yourself or give you some relief?  Did the obsessive thoughts fade away gradually or all of a sudden, and do you remember how long you were afflicted with them?

 

Thank you so much in advance


cannabis: Spring 2002 - Dec. 2007; regularly smoked, stopped cold turkey; symptoms: paranoid and depressed

Paroxetine: 20 mg July 2008, 40 mg October, 20 mg spring 2009, 0 mg summer 2009

Depakote (sodium valproate): October 2008 - Spring 2009

Haloperdidol 1 week Oct. 2008, H caused seizures, went to A&E;  stopped taking it.

Citalopram few weeks in the fall of 2009 to deal with withdrawal symptoms from stopping paroxetine

Paroxetine round 2: 20 mg Feb - summer 2010 -20mg don't remeber if I went up to 40mg

Venlafaxine & sodium valproate (again): Sep 2010 - Summer 2012  

SERTRALINE: November 2012 - May 2016 , 50-100mg (few days @ 150mg in Summer '15). a complete freak out at the end of April. 

May 2016 Prescribed Lithium and Abilify HAVE NOT TAKEN

No medications May 2016 - October 2016

Hospitalised - November 13th 2016 - Prescribed 15 mg Mirtazapine/Remeron. Reducing since 24 December 2016.  9 June 2017 medication free. 

 

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Sampo

Thank you for sharing your success story. Congratulations that you are able to enjoy of your life again!

 

I have many very similar syptoms as you have had. It is so good to hear that healing isn't impossible. So thank you once again for giving hope to us! I promise that I will write my own success story some day when I'm healed. Hopefully everyone will do the same!


I'm not a native english speaker, sorry!

 

My history with Sertraline:

 

November 2009 - September 2013: most of the time my dose was 100 mg but when I stoped taking it first time my dose was 25 mg.

 

Unfornately I decided to start taking Sertraline again in April 2014. My new dose was 50 mg.

I took my last pill of Sertraline in November 2014. Then my dose was 25 mg.

 

Symptoms: PSSD, anhedonia and emotional anesthesia

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gigi63

Thank you Pug for your response to my question. Perhaps you can tell me this, as your healing has come over the many months, can you try to describe how you saw the symptoms resolving. What I mean is, did the physical symptoms heal first, did all of the emotions heal first? Or was it more of a gradual healing in tandem with each other?  I know it is often NOT linear healing but just wondering how your process unfolded? I do believe I read it was very gradual but I think you were referring to the return of emotion not necessarily the neuro emotion, or was the organic fear and angst, etc a part if the return of emotion??? For me, they seem very separate. Neuro emotions vastly different from my emotions, if that makes sense?   Hoping for some clarification on this??? Thank you.  

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nivek
On ‎5‎/‎29‎/‎2017 at 2:03 PM, pug said:

Yes, it will feel like a miracle when it happens for you; and it will happen for you, it is just a matter of time.  I want to get that out there first thing; it is my belief that we will all heal in time; it has happened for me and is continuing to happen and it will happen for you.  Am I completely 100% done healing?  No.  Am I so, so much better?  Oh yes!  Now for some basics:

 

Male, mid 50s, took zoloft for over 20 year, quit cold turkey 3.5 years ago, was off 5 months, thought I was relapsing, so started prozac for 3.5 months and then quit that cold turkey.  Then I found S.A. and discovered what I was dealing with was not a relapse but withdrawal (and recovery).  So yes, I did everything completely wrong and more than once!  I am proof that given time we can heal.

 

I currently just celebrated 30 months of being drug free.  Now, how to begin to describe the inhumane torture that I have endured until very recently; not sure but I will try.  I have gone through both the windows and waves pattern and the continuous misery pattern.  I was one of those that suffered a great deal after quitting, but really got slammed at about 6 months off.  At 1 year I was barely functioning; at 1.5 years I was still miserable, and at 2 years off I was wondering if I was doomed to endless suffering with no end.  But now as I have hit the 2.5 year mark I feel as if I have turned the corner.

 

Windows and waves general comprised the first year and then it became continuous misery for pretty much the next 6 to 12 months or more; and then back to windows and waves.  My last serious wave was in months 25-26 and now finally what feels like solid progress the last month or so.  I am hesitant to list symptoms because I know how much it use to scare me to read what others were going through; but on the other hand it really helped when a new symptom would start, because I knew it was part of the recovery process and not some disease or sickness, and most of these are gone or have become minimal although they lasted for months or years.  And just because I experienced them does not mean that you will, we all have a very individual road to recovery; so here they are in no specific order:

 

Dark depression, anxiety, paranoia, obsessive compulsive, panic attacks, intrusive/obsessive thoughts that tortured me, hopelessness, irrational thinking, suicidal thoughts, brain zaps, intense organic fear, severe inner-body tension that felt like my whole insides were clamped up, sexual dysfunction, severe tension, tremors and pain in the back of my legs and calves, terrible shoulder and upper arm pain, mania, extreme bloating and stomach pain, nausea, dizziness, vertigo, feeling like my brain was on fire, feeling like a part of my brain was missing, feeling like a bomb had gone off in my head, floating head feeling, super-hot face, body temperature regulation problems – being super-hot or cold, constipation, dehydration, lack of appetite and weight loss, feeling dead, anhedonia, akathisia, mood swings, insomnia, terrible brain fog and inability to think clearly, sensitive vision and hearing, inching and burning skin, cold like symptoms, head congestion, phantom smells, constant tinnitus, severe fatigue and exhaustion, health anxiety, I could not read, listen to music, or meditate, heart palpitations, random traveling aching and stabbing pain throughout my body, headaches, and so many other symptoms that I can’t remember.  The torture, pain, misery, suffering and utter despair was never ending…until it did finally start to end for me and it will for you too.

 

Did anything help me along the way?  I tried many things; acupuncture, vitamins and supplements, alpha-stim, gluten free diet, no sugar diet, no caffeine, no alcohol, and anything else I could do to try and feel better.  Did it work?  In a sense it all worked because it kept me focused on recovery and gave me hope when I had none, and the possibility that I might feel better.  But time passing has been the real healing agent; although that was the last thing I wanted to hear when I was suffering so intensely.  I did find that mindfulness, breathing exercises and physical exercise helped when all else failed and I was so truly desperate.  Many hours were spent just trying to pay attention to my breath going in and out; and I still use this practice as a relaxation method.  It also helped me greatly to visit this website daily as well as Benzo-Buddies.  I read success stories for hours at a time, read the Bloom in Wellness facebook page each day and anything by Baylissa Frederick and also Don Killian.

 

So, what remains for me?  I still have tinnitus (although it has gotten much better over the last month), stomach bloating and pain on occassion, nerve pain, some brain zaps at night, fatigue and tiredness, and sleep issues.  If I had to put some percentages on where I am at now I would say physically I am at about 85-90% healed and mentally/emotionally at 90-95% healed.  I now eat anything that I choose although I eat as healthily as possible because I value life so much now and I want to live as long as possible; I exercise regularly and it feels wonderful; I enjoy caffeinated drinks including regular tea and coffee which I had given up for many months; I also drink wine and beer a couple times a week if I choose to and enjoy it.  I am in the best shape since high school, and have lost 75 pounds (on purpose). Life is good again and just the simple things are more than enough to bring joy and happiness.

 

So that is my story and I hope it will encourage you as you read it that you will recover and become yourself again.  I remember reading similar statements in success stories and thinking, “Yea, right, that is easy for you to say, you are not suffering through this terrible hell right now!”  And maybe you are thinking the same thing as I did, but please listen to my words; you will make it, you will recover, you will feel better, and you will join me in loving life once again; just please don’t give up or give in and keep going!

 

As I sit here with a cup of coffee and contemplate what I have been through the last several years, it all seems so strange and foreign.  Success stories promised that I would make it to recovery, and they were right, so now it is my turn to tell you that you will make it, “You will make it!”.  Wishing everyone here all the best and a quick recovery.  Please let me know if you have any questions and I will be happy to try and help.

 

All my love.

 

Pug

hey pug.....just love your story gives me hope.....i'm 28 months into this horrible nightmare started 1 -13 -15......I suffer 85% of what you posted re what wd stuff you endured. I'm so happy that your recovery is going well.....The thing that scares me the most is a psychiatrist took me off Zyprexa & Lexapro alternating dose cuts every 30 days( I got so damn sick and he felt it was not wd and that I needed new drugs... glad I refused) took 8 mo to get off Zyprexa & 14 to get off Lexapro. Hope I will not experience a double whammy from that. I have been very ill lost 55 lbs in 22 months. I'm about 30 lbs under weight. Now at 28 months I feel just a shade better then I did....but this recovery is not quick enough for me. Hope to start feeling better real soon.....TY for the HOPE!!!!! Nivek 

 


25 October 2015 - 06:26 PM

November 2014 2.5 olanzapine cut 50% to 1.25 in dec 2014

January 22nd 2015 olanzapine cut 60% to .50 for 30 days

February 2015 .25 olanzapine for 30 days

Feb 2015 cut escitalopram/ Lexapro from 20 to 15 mg

March 2015 .1875 olanzapine 30 days

April 2015 .14 olanzapine to june 1st than off

march 2015 12.5 lex

April 2015 10 lex may 7.5 june 5mg

july 3.75 aug 2.5 sept 2mg

oct 2015 1.6

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Happy2Heal
On 5/29/2017 at 2:03 PM, pug said:

 

 

 

so that is my story and I hope it will encourage you as you read it that you will recover and become yourself again.  I remember reading similar statements in success stories and thinking, “Yea, right, that is easy for you to say, you are not suffering through this terrible hell right now!”  And maybe you are thinking the same thing as I did, but please listen to my words; you will make it, you will recover, you will feel better, and you will join me in loving life once again; just please don’t give up or give in and keep going!

 

As I sit here with a cup of coffee and contemplate what I have been through the last several years, it all seems so strange and foreign.  Success stories promised that I would make it to recovery, and they were right, so now it is my turn to tell you that you will make it, “You will make it!”.  Wishing everyone here all the best and a quick recovery.  Please let me know if you have any questions and I will be happy to try and help.

 

All my love.

 

Pug

 

 

I thought I had posted my congratulations but I don't see that post, hrmmm

Maybe I didn't, my memory is not so good

I am so happy for you, and so thankful that you wrote this for those of us still waiting to reach the point where you are.

 

I cried at the thought of being able to drink coffee again, I miss it so much. I miss having just reg tea with caffeine in it, right now all I can drink is this flavorless herbal crap lol

 

Your story is esp encouraging to me, since I"ve been on SSRi's for about 20yrs , it's good to hear that long term 'users' can make it thru this, and even when there are two CTs involved.

I did a couple of those myself, one from a high dose and one from a very low dose.

 

I hope you know and appreciate how strong you are to have gotten thru this. I think we are all very impressive people, when I think of us collectively, going thru many of the same trials and difficulties and making it thru day after day.

 

thank you for posting your story and for being available to answer questions, I have a couple but I am not ready to hear the answer so I will save them for a day when I am feeling stronger

;-)

 


  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total)
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictalBrief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. I tried to get off it several times. WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 tapered down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again, too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". Crashed in Sept, reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, current age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content 
 

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AmyK

Pug, it is so inspiring and uplifting to read your story. Thankyou, and thankyou again! 

I wish you all the best in discovering life again. 


Current dose: 0! Free!  Quit June 2017.

 

2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January

 

2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg

2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg

2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg

2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg

2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg

2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg

 

Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose.

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