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Longroadhome
On 2/24/2020 at 1:30 PM, Longroadhome said:

Hi Pug 

how long did you have upper back and shoulder pain for and did you find out exact cause ? 
this has developed a couple of weeks ago for me and I’m putting it down to WD as I have had several muscle/joint/disc problems since starting my journey that I definitely associate with coming off the meds 

thank you for always being so supportive 

youre   famous around here !! 
LRH

@pug

hi Pug

You have not been on in the site for a while . Hope this is good sign and you are living a great life . If you do re visit could you kindly answer my  question above. 

many thanks 

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Rozon1

Hey @pugyou said you dealt with constipation. I’m currently also dealing with that. Going in for months. How long did this last for you? It’s super tough 

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boymom

hi pug. i hope you are still herem i sent you a message privately bc it deals with a symptoms of mine i dont want to be talked about publicly. 

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pug
Hello all,
 
Although it has been awhile, I am still here!  Lets get right to the questions posted above and then I will post a brief update on how I am doing.
 
Shoulder and back pain, nerve pain:  I still deal with nerve pain, mostly in my shoulders and random places elsewhere on my body.  It is worse during the night and can wake me up, but for the most part it is just an annoyance and I can work through it; even during hard exercise or weightlifting.  I have no doubts that as time goes by this symptom will continue to improve and eventually be gone.
 
PSSD:  I think this symptom is nearly completely healed and I am functioning at a level that is appropriate for a person my age.  As frustrating and disheartening as this symptom is I do believe that it heals just as the others do and that recovery is possible and is the natural progression of our healing journey.
 
Constipation:  This symptom has troubled me on and off during recovery, but is also improved and hopefully gone for me.  Like the other symptoms, we have to do our best to manage them and cope as long as it takes; and wait for the healing to happen.  I am better.
 
Sleep:  I now get between 5 to 7 hours of sleep per night with an occasional bad night of only a few hours.  I am generally energetic during the day and seem to be getting enough quality sleep to do the things I need and want to do.  And I feel that it will continue to improve as time goes by. 
 
Permanent symptoms:  I do not believe that our symptoms are permanent.  They can persist for a very, very long time, but I think given time they completely heal or become so minor they do not keep us from living our lives.  For those who profess that their symptoms are permanent, I would question if they can be certain it is 100% from withdrawal/recovery or if there might be other things that are contributing to their challenges?  No disrespect to them, I completely understand and sympathize with what they are going through, but have they given it enough time to 100% say that any symptom is permanent?  At the 3 year mark I would have told you that brain zaps must be a permanent symptom since I still had them regularly and in a pretty nasty way.  But today, I can tell you that they are not permanent since I no longer have them as of about 6 months ago.  So it is a perspective that comes from passing time and being able to look back and see that we have healed from so much.
 
Update on how I am doing:  I continue to improve, slowly and in small ways, but I know that improvement is happening.  I now only deal with nerve pain, occasional sleep issues, feel a little unwell a few hours in the morning on a day here and there, and maybe have my emotions go a little off every now and then.  But really, this is so minor compared to where I was for a very long time.  I have been at this for over 5 years now and if there is one thing I have learned, it is that time can heal us from the living hell that withdrawal can be!  Our job is to not give up, keep pushing forward in any manner that we can, and stay as hopeful as possible about our recovery.  
 
When I had started my journey all those years ago, I use to wonder why folks disappeared and did not return to the forum?  I of course assumed the worst, that they were permanently damaged and had given up on recovery, when the opposite was true.  They had healed and moved on with their life!  It has happened to me as I have healed; the need for support and encouragement lessens and your life fills up once again with pleasant and enjoyable things, so that you start to forget just how bad it was.  This is why I come back here less than in the past, I am busy with a happy life!  And the good news is that you will be like me in time, so don't give up or quit, when you could be so close to the miracle of recovery!  I believe in you, and I 100% believe that you can do this and recover to experience your joyful life!  I have and you will to!
 
Wishing everyone here health and healing.
 
pug
 
 
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Rozon1

Thanks @pug! For the response. Gives me encouragement. One last question for you! Did it just feel like your muscles weren’t working properly when you tried “pushing”. That’s what my constipation feels like. 

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getofflex

Pug your post is very encouraging.  good for you for sticking this out and for coming back here to encourage us and let us know that healing happens.  Jennifer

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Longroadhome
20 hours ago, pug said:
Hello all,
 
Although it has been awhile, I am still here!  Lets get right to the questions posted above and then I will post a brief update on how I am doing.
 
Shoulder and back pain, nerve pain:  I still deal with nerve pain, mostly in my shoulders and random places elsewhere on my body.  It is worse during the night and can wake me up, but for the most part it is just an annoyance and I can work through it; even during hard exercise or weightlifting.  I have no doubts that as time goes by this symptom will continue to improve and eventually be gone.
 
PSSD:  I think this symptom is nearly completely healed and I am functioning at a level that is appropriate for a person my age.  As frustrating and disheartening as this symptom is I do believe that it heals just as the others do and that recovery is possible and is the natural progression of our healing journey.
 
Constipation:  This symptom has troubled me on and off during recovery, but is also improved and hopefully gone for me.  Like the other symptoms, we have to do our best to manage them and cope as long as it takes; and wait for the healing to happen.  I am better.
 
Sleep:  I now get between 5 to 7 hours of sleep per night with an occasional bad night of only a few hours.  I am generally energetic during the day and seem to be getting enough quality sleep to do the things I need and want to do.  And I feel that it will continue to improve as time goes by. 
 
Permanent symptoms:  I do not believe that our symptoms are permanent.  They can persist for a very, very long time, but I think given time they completely heal or become so minor they do not keep us from living our lives.  For those who profess that their symptoms are permanent, I would question if they can be certain it is 100% from withdrawal/recovery or if there might be other things that are contributing to their challenges?  No disrespect to them, I completely understand and sympathize with what they are going through, but have they given it enough time to 100% say that any symptom is permanent?  At the 3 year mark I would have told you that brain zaps must be a permanent symptom since I still had them regularly and in a pretty nasty way.  But today, I can tell you that they are not permanent since I no longer have them as of about 6 months ago.  So it is a perspective that comes from passing time and being able to look back and see that we have healed from so much.
 
Update on how I am doing:  I continue to improve, slowly and in small ways, but I know that improvement is happening.  I now only deal with nerve pain, occasional sleep issues, feel a little unwell a few hours in the morning on a day here and there, and maybe have my emotions go a little off every now and then.  But really, this is so minor compared to where I was for a very long time.  I have been at this for over 5 years now and if there is one thing I have learned, it is that time can heal us from the living hell that withdrawal can be!  Our job is to not give up, keep pushing forward in any manner that we can, and stay as hopeful as possible about our recovery.  
 
When I had started my journey all those years ago, I use to wonder why folks disappeared and did not return to the forum?  I of course assumed the worst, that they were permanently damaged and had given up on recovery, when the opposite was true.  They had healed and moved on with their life!  It has happened to me as I have healed; the need for support and encouragement lessens and your life fills up once again with pleasant and enjoyable things, so that you start to forget just how bad it was.  This is why I come back here less than in the past, I am busy with a happy life!  And the good news is that you will be like me in time, so don't give up or quit, when you could be so close to the miracle of recovery!  I believe in you, and I 100% believe that you can do this and recover to experience your joyful life!  I have and you will to!
 
Wishing everyone here health and healing.
 
pug
 
 

Hi Pug 

thank you so much for your update. 
did the tinnitus resolve for you too? 
 

so glad you are living a happy life after all that you have been through . 
 

thank you for returning 

LRH

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Melissa5000

Thanks for your update Pug!

I always love to read your posts. 

You give me hope. 

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pug
On 3/31/2020 at 10:11 AM, Longroadhome said:

Hi Pug 

thank you so much for your update. 
did the tinnitus resolve for you too? 
 

so glad you are living a happy life after all that you have been through . 
 

thank you for returning 

LRH

 

I still have mild tinnitus, mostly in the background.  Some days it is gone and other days loud enough that I notice it, but most days it is only there if I stop and concentrate on trying to hear it.  At it's worst, mine was so loud I could barely hear, or stand the constant high tension sizzling that tortured me.  It has been one of the last symptoms to improve and start to fade, and I am grateful for that.

 

Wishing you all the best,

 

pug

 

 

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Elyssa143

@pug

Thank you for always coming back and updating. Im so greatful that last symptom is starting to get better for you! Im almost 26 months definitely not in the excruciating hell i once was but every day is still a struggle.  I have easier times but i still have inner aka, dread, depression, horrible intrusive thoughts although not as loud as they once wete still very hard and an over all feeling of "wanting to die" more so of not wantong to live like this but of course i do want to live. Just scared this far out that i still have these awful things. I was thinking the suicidal stuff would have been gone by now. I am having improvements things arent as intense but its still rough. Any reassurance?! Thanks so much. Hope your well and safe.

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pug
On 4/23/2020 at 4:33 PM, Elyssa143 said:

@pug

Thank you for always coming back and updating. Im so greatful that last symptom is starting to get better for you! Im almost 26 months definitely not in the excruciating hell i once was but every day is still a struggle.  I have easier times but i still have inner aka, dread, depression, horrible intrusive thoughts although not as loud as they once wete still very hard and an over all feeling of "wanting to die" more so of not wantong to live like this but of course i do want to live. Just scared this far out that i still have these awful things. I was thinking the suicidal stuff would have been gone by now. I am having improvements things arent as intense but its still rough. Any reassurance?! Thanks so much. Hope your well and safe.

Hello,

 

The best reassurance that I can give is that I am more confident now than ever that we can all recover from this process and regain our happy, healthy lives.  From my own experience, if we keep going, don't quit, and make survival our goal until things start to improve, we are going to heal and get better, it is the natural course of this process!  So do your best to make today as good as possible, and if there is not good to be found, just survive.  That is all, and that is the key here, survive until tomorrow and then one day you will begin to feel better and that better feeling will stay with you, and you will be on your way!  Time is answer.

 

All the best,

 

pug

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Longroadhome
22 hours ago, pug said:

Hello,

 

The best reassurance that I can give is that I am more confident now than ever that we can all recover from this process and regain our happy, healthy lives.  From my own experience, if we keep going, don't quit, and make survival our goal until things start to improve, we are going to heal and get better, it is the natural course of this process!  So do your best to make today as good as possible, and if there is not good to be found, just survive.  That is all, and that is the key here, survive until tomorrow and then one day you will begin to feel better and that better feeling will stay with you, and you will be on your way!  Time is answer.

 

All the best,

 

pug

@pug

hi There 

you may have been asked this question before but why did you go on ADs I think I read somewhere it was due to suffering anxiety and depression? 
if so were you worried after coming off that the anxiety and depression would remain ? 
I ask this because it’s the reason I started on ADs and now I’m tapering the anxiety and depression are severe 

thank you Pug 

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