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☼ Ogres: Prozac


Ogres

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Hello everyone!

 

I first started Prozac in the beginning of 2009 to help with social anxiety and public speaking at work. I had to delivery training and couldn't simply face the situation where I'd be in the center of attention. I had had previous failings in this area and couldn't think of screwing up again. Especially, I could lose my job. So, after googling and researching I decided to give fluoxetine a try. As you can see, no doctors were involve and I could only blame myself :). I even sourced the pills by ordering from the internet.

 

I started with 20 mg and noticed effects after approx 2-3 weeks. The main thing that I remember was calmness and confidence. With the chemicals fully kicked in, I was so relaxed about the future ordeal that I thought that even if I failed, I’d not care too much. The training went fine though and I had a massive boost of confidence from this fact.

 

The nature of my work, requires me to constantly communicate with people, which had always been hard for me. For this reason I stayed on AD. So that I could function normally and establish myself. I had recently moved to the UK from another country and had to survive. On the other hand I was very cautious, as I had had some past dependency on substances at a tender age, and never exceeded 20mg/day. Also, I never intended to use the pills forever. I just liked how they made me feel in social situations. I had always been a bit shy and fluoxetine helped me to be more relaxed.

 

I continued to take Prozac, but with breaks where I'd be completely off for weeks and even months! I'd go off medication cold turkey (I didn't know about tapering at the time!). And to be honest, I didn't have any major symptoms during years 2010-2013 apart from anxiety (but I'd always been anxious), irritability, anger. No major physical symptoms as far as I could remember. I consider myself to be a person with some self control and I'd try to disregard what happens inside me and try to look normal. Maybe being young(ish) and the fact that I always did some sport help as well?

 

With time as I was becoming more relaxed about my job security and with thoughts that I probably better off AD eventually, my breaks would become longer and longer. And in Jul 2015 I first decided to go off completely. As always, I just stopped cold turkey! Well, I tapered by taking 20 mg every other day for couple of weeks, but I don't think it can be considered tapering in pure sense.  WD was probably a bit harder this time with anxiety, irritability, fatigue more pronounced. But I tolerated it fine. I thought maybe I was getting older? No other major physical symptoms.  

 

I went back on Prozac again in Feb 2016 because of a new project where I'd need to socialize and communicate. And when work situation calmed down, I went off again in Sep 2016. This time WD a bit harder still. Major symptoms: anxiety, depression, fatigue, irritability, stress intolerance, anger, insomnia. Surprisingly, insomnia only hit me first in month 7 (still suffering)! This is probably the worst symptom, a torture, when you can't sleep for several nights at a time and then had to function during the day... 

 

Thanks a lot for all your attention! 

 

 

 

 

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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  • Ogres

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  • RealMe

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  • thecowisback

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  • Madeleine

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Welcome to the forum.  Have you thought of going to therapy to deal with some of the issues you have felt in the past, such as social anxiety, etc. It would be healthier for you in the long run IMO than going on and off Prozac.  

200 Zoloft; 10 mg Zyprexa; 4 mg valium as of May 2021;  Valium taper: July 16: 3.5 valium; July 30: 3 mg (paused valium taper); Aug. 23: 2.5 mg
Zyprexa: July 26: 8.75 mg; Aug. 9: 7.5 mg; Aug. 30: 7.1 mg

-------
Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Ogres -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)

 

What questions do you have? Is there any particular type of assistance or information you're looking for?

 

Some relevant topics for you:

Tapering

Before you begin tapering -- what you need to know.

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?.

Tips for tapering off Prozac (fluoxetine).

 

Withdrawal symptoms

What is withdrawal syndrome.

The Windows and Waves pattern of stabilization.

 

What can help with symptoms

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil).

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker.

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms.

Tips to help sleep.

The Dr. Claire Weekes Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System -- good tips for anxiety

I hope you'll find the information in the SA forums helpful for your situation. I'm sorry that you are in the position that you need the information, but am glad that you found us.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

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Welcome to the forum. Have you thought of going to therapy to deal with some of the issues you have felt in the past, such as social anxiety, etc. It would be healthier for you in the long run IMO than going on and off Prozac.

Hi Madeleine, thanks for your response. I've tried 'talking therapy', attended several sessions and then the therapist said that my case is not serious enough and stopped. I have also read several books on cbt. I'd like to explore more non-medication ways of coping.

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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20 hours ago, scallywag said:

Ogres -- Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants (SA)

What questions do you have? Is there any particular type of assistance or information you're looking for?

Hi scallywag,

I was hoping to understand why there was such a long onset of insomnia. I first started experiencing it 7 months after stopping pzc... Is it normal?

Also, when will my sleep get back to normal? I understand everybody is different, though.

Thanks for the info and help!

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Delayed onset of symptoms can happen.  You can read others' experiences here: Delayed onset of w/d symptoms.

I won't venture a guess as to when your sleep cycle will return to its previous state.  Insomnia has been one of my most difficult symptoms. I've used sleep tips (in the link I posted above), melatonin, supplementation with magnesium at bedtime, and daily exercise to good effect.

 

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.
1997-1999 Effexor; 2002-2005 Effexor XR 37.5 mg linear taper, dropping same #beads/week with bad results

Cymbalta 60 mg 2012 - 2015; 2016: 20 mg to 7 mg exact doses and dates in this post; 2017: 6.3 mg to  0.0 mg  Aug. 12; details here


scallywag's Introduction
Online spreadsheet for dose taper calculations and nz11's THE WORKS spreadsheet

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

It's been another month off prozac (10 months in total now). The most horrible WD symptom 
was insomnia which hit me in month 7. The trigger was probably my personal affairs with my GF.
Endless conversatins and arguing made me feel very anxious. These spikes of cortizol, which my body couldn't neutralize, 
kept me awake at night. But it seems like the worst has passed, I haven't had a sleepless night in more than two weeks now.
Not sure what's helped exactly. We broke up with my Gf and there is no more arguments. But I also started taking piracetam (4g/day)
and magnezium citrate (400mg/day). Maybe it's all together. My personal life is quiet plus nootropics and magnezium do their bits.
Looking forward to celebrating a year w/o AD! Thanks for your attention!

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

Link to comment

Yeah! Excellent news to hear that you are sleeping well again.  And, that you're almost at the 12-month-free mark!  Well done.  
 

200 Zoloft; 10 mg Zyprexa; 4 mg valium as of May 2021;  Valium taper: July 16: 3.5 valium; July 30: 3 mg (paused valium taper); Aug. 23: 2.5 mg
Zyprexa: July 26: 8.75 mg; Aug. 9: 7.5 mg; Aug. 30: 7.1 mg

-------
Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg

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On 2017-7-6 at 0:38 PM, Madeleine said:

Yeah! Excellent news to hear that you are sleeping well again.  And, that you're almost at the 12-month-free mark!  Well done.  
 

Thanks for your kind words of support, Madeleine! It helps so much knowing that there are people who're in the same boat or have been through similar experience. 

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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I have this thought in my mind. Can we become better selves after successful WD from AD? Can the brain actually re-wire itself in all the right places? When recovering, we take conscious decision to control our emotions and thought process. By forcing ourselves to think “right” and to control our emotions (via meditation, CBT, etc), neurons create mind paths which are going to be more easily accessible in the future. If taking AD causes brain damage (cell death) then after discontinuation body should compensate and regenerate affected areas. And like with exercise causing muscles to get stronger, maybe there will be more and better cells/neurons created? When fully recovered, we’ll be able to tolerate stress better. When you have to deal with everyday life stresses while withdrawing, it's going to be much easier when fully recovered. It’s probably fantasising, but I’ll certainly be hoping that some of it is true.  

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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On 2017-7-6 at 0:38 PM, Madeleine said:

Excellent news to hear that you are sleeping well again.  
 

it's too early to write a success story though. My sleep is far from being back to normal. There are less totally sleepless nights, but the quality is much worse. I wake up in the middle of the night once at least. And drinking any alcohol impacts sleep negatively.  

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

Link to comment

Lots of people who have never been on antidepressants wake up at night too. That's what I tell myself too when I worry about sleep....

200 Zoloft; 10 mg Zyprexa; 4 mg valium as of May 2021;  Valium taper: July 16: 3.5 valium; July 30: 3 mg (paused valium taper); Aug. 23: 2.5 mg
Zyprexa: July 26: 8.75 mg; Aug. 9: 7.5 mg; Aug. 30: 7.1 mg

-------
Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm around 11 months mark off of AD... In general, I think things are getting better. Most persistent and painful symptom is still insomnia. But I can see some improvement. My sleep is though very far from being normal, but some nights I'm sleeping for 5-6 hours w/o waking. There are fewer cases when I'd not have any sleep for 2 or more nights in a row. Still taking magnesium and a bit of piracetam. Also multivitamins. I can eat anything and everything. Appetite is generally good. But when not, I’m forcing myself to eat something. And marmite, which is full of natural B vitamins, helps to get me hungry.

I exercise 4-5 times a week (excluding long walks outside): weightlifting, badminton, running.  Sometimes until total exhaustion. If it’s not to close to the bedtime, then I can sleep. Otherwise my heartbeat can keep me awake for quite a long time. Physical activity is really, really helpful. I feel better immediately.

Another thing, which I remind myself constantly is to be occupied with something as often as possible. When on my own doing nothing, anxiety and depression come quickly knocking on my door. I have to be doing something constantly, preferably while being in the company of others.

When I have a full night’s sleep I feel almost normal the next day… But I still can’t tolerate stress. Stressful situations send me into depression mode straight away and I can’t sleep, eat or do anything. Libido suffers in the most dramatic way as well. I have been going through a break-up with my GF and on several occasions I was knocked off my feet… Lying in bed with eyes open and wondering if it’s better to end it all.    

I think my case is not the strongest one out there. But anyway I’m suffering from the WD. If not for this website, I’d probably go back on the meds after several months. I had pretty much all of the symptoms people describe here. Sometimes, I didn’t have a name for them and sometimes I just ignored them, as they were bearable.

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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  • 1 month later...

1 year off of AD!

positives:

- my sleep is improving. I sleep 6 hours at least, every night (unless I drink alcohol or very stressed, then it's less than that if at all)

 - I experienced most pleasurable orgasms in a very long time (not every time though)

- some days several weeks ago I was feeling very confident. No anxiety, a lot of social confidence. But strangely, it happened the following day after I had been in a lot of psychological pain. Like rainbow after the rain. As though my body was trying to counterbalance by releasing more feel good hormones. Was it a 'window'?

- I can work out with more energy (mostly due to improved sleep)

negatives:

- I think since my sleep improved a bit and I'm not that deprived, I feel more depressed, strangely. And lacking motivation.  

- My libido is not as good as I'd like it to be. Some days/weeks I neither want, nor feel anything in this department.

- I wake at around 4.30 every night , but after that mostly just lying in bed.  

- I’m highly sensitive to stress.

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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Hi Ogres: Congratulations on hitting the 1-year off mark! Thanks for sharing your update.

So, you cold turkeyed in August 2016?

If you are feeling depressed, maybe do all that you can, e.g. exercise, do things that make you happy, etc. etc. so that you feel less depressed.  
Wishing you well !

 

200 Zoloft; 10 mg Zyprexa; 4 mg valium as of May 2021;  Valium taper: July 16: 3.5 valium; July 30: 3 mg (paused valium taper); Aug. 23: 2.5 mg
Zyprexa: July 26: 8.75 mg; Aug. 9: 7.5 mg; Aug. 30: 7.1 mg

-------
Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg

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4 hours ago, Madeleine said:

Hi Ogres: Congratulations on hitting the 1-year off mark! Thanks for sharing your update.

So, you cold turkeyed in August 2016?

If you are feeling depressed, maybe do all that you can, e.g. exercise, do things that make you happy, etc. etc. so that you feel less depressed.  
Wishing you well !

 

Hi Madeline, 

thanks for your support and for following me!

My last dose of Prozac was around end of August - beg of September 2016. I can't remember exact date because I was careless with my taper and basically CTed.

Yes, exercising is probably the most effective way in terms of lifting my mood. Or being outside, preferably around other people. 

I just need to remember to push myself, even if feeling horrible, to go to the gym, outside for a run, etc

 

 

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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and another thing, tinnitus is more pronounced now... It doesn't cause too much trouble, but I hope it will go away with time. 

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Ogres, congratulations on being One-Year-Free from Prozac, it definitely sounds like you are heading in the right direction as you have a lot of positives and a very good attitude about acceptance, it will serve you well.

 

Not sure if you have seen this topic or not, but it might be helpful to have a look and see how others managed with tinnitus.  

 

Tinnitus - What does all that noise mean?

 

Wishing you continued success moving forward.

 

Current Prescription Drugs for Hypothyroidism:  Synthroid 100mcg / Cytomel 5mcg (15 years Pristiq/Effexor)

Tapering Schedule
September 15, 2016 - switched from Pristiq 50mg to Effexor XR 75mg; November 10, 2016 - reduced to 67.5 Effexor XR
December 9, 2016 - reduced 60.75
January 5, 2017 - reduced 54.67
January 30, 2017 - reduced to 49.0
February 20, 2017 - reduced to 44.0 
May 20, 2017 - reduced to 40.25 (holding for additional month due to late onset of withdrawal symptoms after this taper)
July 17, 2017 - reduced to 38.24
August 15, 2017 - reduced to 37.5 (50% of my original dose)

October 15, 2017 - reduced to 35.6

November 12, 2017 - reduced to 33.8
December 15, 2017 - up-dose to 35.6
December 28, 2017 - up-dose to 37.5

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6 hours ago, baroquep said:

Hi Ogres, congratulations on being One-Year-Free from Prozac, it definitely sounds like you are heading in the right direction as you have a lot of positives and a very good attitude about acceptance, it will serve you well.

 

Not sure if you have seen this topic or not, but it might be helpful to have a look and see how others managed with tinnitus.  

 

Tinnitus - What does all that noise mean?

 

Wishing you continued success moving forward.

 

Thanks, Baroquep.

It seems tinnitus is quite common and can be persistent... I'll see how it goes. 

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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  • 4 weeks later...

13 months off...
How to like yourself when off of AD? I'm getting back to being my normal self, who struggle to like. Shy, sensitive, vulnerable, easily offended. 
And it takes a lot of time to bounce back after a stressful event. 
As a result, I tend to avoid a lot of social situations. I don't want to go out often and try not to speak up at work when I can. 
I don't want to live a quiet life at home for the rest of my life...
I want to achive more. I'm not married and don't have children yet. It feels like I'm missing out...
One good think though is that I'm less of an a*hole when off pills...

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

Link to comment

I guess I'll try focusing on positives. It's not bad all the time. There are things I overcame for which I can probably be proud. Some situations which I previously dreaded don't make me nervous in the slightest anymore. Meaning that I should be able to develop in the areas still causing issues. It's that we all want a shortcut, a magic pill. Especially when it gets tough. Just need to hang in there a bit more. 

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Around 15 months off of AD mark! Pleased with this small achievement, though, not fully healed.  

Update on good and not so good things.

Not so good. Depression. Generally, mornings are worse than evenings. Mondays are worse than Fridays. As time passes, the trend is that I’m getting more depressed than anxious. Uncontrollable and out of proportion rage and anger, sometimes. When driving, for example. Occasional sleepless nights. Can be socially awkward at times and tend to avoid contact with people (especially, toxic types), not speaking up at work. Anhedonia. Other negatives: sound sensitivity, irritability, stress intolerance, tinnitus. As a rule, stress exacerbates WD symptoms.

Good things. Sleep is better now. If I exercise regularly (not before bed though), don't consume caffeine after midday and abstain from alcohol, then my sleep is almost normal. I still can wake up at around 4 am, but more often than not would be able to fall asleep afterwards. If there is a sleepless night, then over the next one my body will be catching up on the deficit and I'd sleep w/o waking at all for at least 8 hours. Couple of weeks back I was even able to fall asleep after alcohol. But I was very pissed, so was rather knocked out. Needless to say that hungover was horrible and lasted for 2 days at least. Otherwise I drink very rarely. At times, I notice improvements in my libido and orgasms. Still have premature ejaculations, but not totally sure whether it's due to WD. I forgot how it was before I started taking prozac...

As I was ordering the pills over the internet, I was able to count almost exactly how many I consumed in a period of time. During 5 years from 2010 to 2015 I ordered 1008/20mg prozac pills. Which is aprox 2.76 years of uninterrupted consumption. Other times I was sourcing the pills elsewhere and I estimate the total time on AD was around 4-4.5 years. My consumption was far from uninterrupted and against all recommendations on this website. My brain and CNS was always kept guessing… If only I knew back then… The more I read stories here, the more I notice WD symptoms during my time on AD when starting and stopping... It's that I was trying to ignore them as far as I could, toughing it out… And I’m sure my symptoms were milder than some people experience here.

I work full time, work out 4 times/week at least. Physically, probably in a better shape than I’ve been in a long time. Still have symptoms I’d like to get rid of. Hopefully, with time they get better.

Supplements I currently take: magnesium 400mg/day, Omega 3 2000 mg/day, marmite (vits B). Apart from that, I try to eat clean and healthy with very little junk or fast food.

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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Forgot to mention the most important bit. I'm very grateful to all contributors to this website for tons of useful information and support. I wish everyone speedy recovery and I’m sure we’ll all heal eventually!

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

Link to comment

Hi Ogres,

I've been reading your posts because I also have a history with prozac.  Unfortunately, I also have a history of alcohol and a plethora of so-called "medications."  I have withdrawn from most of them and hope to get completely off the prozac as I see you have done.  Hope you feel better soon.

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

Link to comment
13 hours ago, RealMe said:

Hi Ogres,

I've been reading your posts because I also have a history with prozac.  Unfortunately, I also have a history of alcohol and a plethora of so-called "medications."  I have withdrawn from most of them and hope to get completely off the prozac as I see you have done.  Hope you feel better soon.

Hi RealMe, thanks for reading my story and your good wishes.

I'm sure you'll be able to withdraw from prozac. The key things are time and patience. Also, acceptance of the fact that there is some suffering involved in getting off the pills. 

I believe in the ability of the human body and brain to heal and remodel, although, the process is very slow.

Reading your post I can see some similarities in that that I had also started cigarettes/alcohol (and marijuana) at an early age. But I quit everything long ago apart from alcohol. 

I was probably drinking too much when on Prozac, but nowadays when off of it, I hardly drink at all. Not going to become a teetotal, but hope to enjoy a drink or two occasionally when hungovers are not so bad as in WD.   

Sending you positive vibes and good wishes. 

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

Link to comment

 

11 hours ago, Ogres said:

 

I'm sure you'll be able to withdraw from prozac. The key things are time and patience. Also, acceptance of the fact that there is some suffering involved in getting off the pills. 

I believe in the ability of the human body and brain to heal and remodel, although, the process is very slow.

 

Hi Ogres.  

 Did you cold turkey from 20 mg.?  After what I've been through since August, I would be scared to cold turkey from the 10 mg. I'm on.  I'm going to start tapering by 10% in a few months.  Thank you for your encouraging words and good vibes.  They bring me hope that some day I will be off the pills and have a healed brain.  I will work on my patience, not one of my strong suits!

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

Link to comment
6 hours ago, RealMe said:

 

Hi Ogres.  

 Did you cold turkey from 20 mg.?  After what I've been through since August, I would be scared to cold turkey from the 10 mg. I'm on.  I'm going to start tapering by 10% in a few months.  

Hi RealMe,

yes, I CTed from 20mg, but I will not recommend you doing the same. I think your plan to taper by 10% is the safest and I don't see any reason why you'd not succeed withdrawing completely eventually. Just a little bit of perseverance.  

I wish I had found this website earlier and wouldn't have been so careless with starting and stopping AD. And I would have weaned myself off much earlier knowing how harmful these pills were.    

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

Link to comment

Hi Ogres,

Just wondering how you are doing.  I had a rough morning, but my concentration is a lot better now.  It's cold, but I took a walk in the sunshine.  Yesterday I actually read a book which is definitely evidence of improvement.  I couldn't do that for a long, long time.  It was Joseph Glenmullen's The Antidepressant Solution.  Very good insights on ADs and tapering to minimize withdrawal symptoms.  I'm not ready yet, but when I am, I want to be informed.  How are your positives and negatives lately?  I still have a boatload of negatives, but I am trying my best.  Hope you are doing well.

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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Hi RealMe,

thanks for asking. It's been indeed highs and lows. And I'm trying to make peace with occasional lows as they are inevitable.

I went to the gym on Wednesday, had a very good workout, but couldn't sleep the following night, as it happens sometimes after intense exercise.       

On Thursday there was a christmas party at work but it's harder to function least enjoy when you're sleep deprived. I was hesitant to go,

but pushed myself a bit and went anyway. I had to drink alcohol to blend-in and to have some fun knowing that the following night there will hardly be any sleep again.

Here I am, after nearly two nights in a row without proper healthy sleep. Anyway, I'm glad that I went. As informal communication is easier for me, than formal.

Having established some informal contacts, it's going to be easier at work in a formal environment. Hoping to catch up on missed sleep soon!

The book 'Prozac Backlash' by Joseph Glenmullen actually made me research the Internet and eventually find this website! I haven't read the one you mentioned, probably, need to.

Agree, you're better off not rushing things and only start withdrawing when you're ready and stable and have all the info at hand. If I were you,

I'd be proud of the things that have been achieved to date. You withdrew from a hell of a lot of substances already. And it's a very good foundation for your future success. Capitalize on it, be proud of yourself and move forward step-by-step. Good decision to go outside for a walk. Daylight and physical activities help me immensely.

Wishing you all the best!

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

Link to comment
On 12/8/2017 at 4:31 PM, Ogres said:

Hi RealMe,

thanks for asking. It's been indeed highs and lows. And I'm trying to make peace with occasional lows as they are inevitable.

I went to the gym on Wednesday, had a very good workout, but couldn't sleep the following night, as it happens sometimes after intense exercise.       

On Thursday there was a christmas party at work but it's harder to function least enjoy when you're sleep deprived. I was hesitant to go,

but pushed myself a bit and went anyway. I had to drink alcohol to blend-in and to have some fun knowing that the following night there will hardly be any sleep again.

Here I am, after nearly two nights in a row without proper healthy sleep. Anyway, I'm glad that I went. As informal communication is easier for me, than formal.

Having established some informal contacts, it's going to be easier at work in a formal environment. Hoping to catch up on missed sleep soon!

The book 'Prozac Backlash' by Joseph Glenmullen actually made me research the Internet and eventually find this website! I haven't read the one you mentioned, probably, need to.

Agree, you're better off not rushing things and only start withdrawing when you're ready and stable and have all the info at hand. If I were you,

I'd be proud of the things that have been achieved to date. You withdrew from a hell of a lot of substances already. And it's a very good foundation for your future success. Capitalize on it, be proud of yourself and move forward step-by-step. Good decision to go outside for a walk. Daylight and physical activities help me immensely.

Wishing you all the best!

Hi Ogres,

Thank you for your kind words.  They made me smile, and that takes some doing!

 

I understand your ramped up reaction to exercise, only in my case it makes my tinnitus worse so I try to do gentle walking in daylight.

 

I often avoid social occasions too, but like you I try to push myself because socializing does make me feel better.  I know isolating makes me worse.  I hope you have caught up on some sleep and that you are finding your work environment friendlier after making informal contacts at the party.  I wonder what kind of work you do.

 

I should read Glenmullen's book on Prozac.  Right now I'm trying to find a doctor who will help me taper on the fluoxetine (prozac), maybe a psychologist who specializes in addictions.  I just cancelled my appointment with my psychiatrist because I'm too emotional about how many drugs, side effects and withdrawal symptoms I experienced under his care.  I know he meant well, but I have no faith he can help me with my current goals.

 

I didn't find your response until today, and I was very glad to hear from you.  I wish you the best too, and I enjoy reading your updates very much.

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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On 13/12/2017 at 3:09 AM, RealMe said:

Hi Ogres,

Thank you for your kind words.  They made me smile, and that takes some doing!

 

I understand your ramped up reaction to exercise, only in my case it makes my tinnitus worse so I try to do gentle walking in daylight.

 

I often avoid social occasions too, but like you I try to push myself because socializing does make me feel better.  I know isolating makes me worse.  I hope you have caught up on some sleep and that you are finding your work environment friendlier after making informal contacts at the party.  I wonder what kind of work you do.

 

I should read Glenmullen's book on Prozac.  Right now I'm trying to find a doctor who will help me taper on the fluoxetine (prozac), maybe a psychologist who specializes in addictions.  I just cancelled my appointment with my psychiatrist because I'm too emotional about how many drugs, side effects and withdrawal symptoms I experienced under his care.  I know he meant well, but I have no faith he can help me with my current goals.

 

I didn't find your response until today, and I was very glad to hear from you.  I wish you the best too, and I enjoy reading your updates very much.

Hi RealMe,

thanks for following me and for your encouraging words. Sorry for the delay in responding - busy time at work (I'm an IT consultant, btw) and otherwise with Christmas preparations, etc.

With regards to tinnitus - it's made worse by any stress in my case... And exercise, if not too intense, makes me calmer. Also, I noticed, sauna and ice cold shower afterwards help me sleep better sometimes. Maybe it will help you as well if you're safe to try it. 

 

I wish you all the best with finding a psychiatrist. Please remember to have your interests and goals first. Consider doctor's advice with some healthy scepticism. With help of this forum I'm sure you'll be able to taper in the safest possible way and be meds free eventually! 

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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  • 3 weeks later...

It's been 16 months since stopping ADs. 

No major breakthrough in healing, but I think I'm noticing gradual improvements. Or rather I want to think I’m noticing…

My sleep is a tiny bit better, but still very vulnerable. Being very sensitive to stress, I can’t calm down for a long time after a stressful event staying awake in bed for a long time. And alcohol impacts sleep negatively, so trying to abstain. However, I was able to fall sleep after a couple of drinks on several occasions. I guess it can be considered as an improvement.

Other things still bothering me: apathy, anhedonia, depression, low sex drive, anxiety in some situations (mostly social), joint, muscle and bone (?) pain, tinnitus. Also, I’ve noticed some issues with finger coordination, when typing on a smartphone or changing radio station in the car. I play racquet sports and don’t have problems with hand coordination, just fingers, weirdly… I want to get back to playing guitar, but a bit cautions as it’s most likely going to be difficult. Most of the above symptoms emerge or worsen after a stressful event or a sleepless night.

 

Forcing myself to look on a positive side and to focus on things I want to achieve with time. As mentioned, it’s mostly stress that brings with it a whole lot of WD symptoms. Therefore if I follow my usual routine of exercising, no alcohol, sleep hygiene, avoiding stress then I can feel almost normal. It’s that one can’t live in a shell all the time. So what I’d want is to be able to tolerate stress better and to bounce back quicker. In sexual area orgasms are better than when on ADs or in the beginning of WD. I’m noticing “morning wood” more often.

Hoping to see more improvements with 1,5 years off of AD mark.      

Thanks for reading and wishing you all the best and speedy recovery.

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...
On 1/4/2018 at 8:03 AM, Ogres said:

Hoping to see more improvements with 1,5 years off of AD mark.      

Thanks for reading and wishing you all the best and speedy recovery.

Hi Ogres,

Haven't heard from you in a while.  How are you doing?  Still having bad tinnitus, but my other symptoms seem to be improving.  Most of my anxiety, despondency, and oversleeping are directly related to that, it seems.  Occasionally, it eases up but not today.  I went to the new therapist, and I'm not sure about his ability to work with me yet, but I'm going to give it a try.  At least he didn't try to talk me out of tapering or question my withdrawal experience.

How is your sleep coming along?

Best,

Realme

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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20 hours ago, RealMe said:

Hi Ogres,

Haven't heard from you in a while.  How are you doing?  Still having bad tinnitus, but my other symptoms seem to be improving.  Most of my anxiety, despondency, and oversleeping are directly related to that, it seems.  Occasionally, it eases up but not today.  I went to the new therapist, and I'm not sure about his ability to work with me yet, but I'm going to give it a try.  At least he didn't try to talk me out of tapering or question my withdrawal experience.

How is your sleep coming along?

Best,

Realme

Hi RealMe,

thanks for your kind interest in me. Things are ok, more or less. Some days I feel really down, but try to appreciate what little achievements and pleasures there are. And looking forward to more healing. Sleep is a bit better. I’m able to fall asleep in unfamiliar places (like hotels) now and it was more difficult previously. I’m also trying to accept myself just the way I am naturally, without drugs. I’m quite a bit more shy with a tendency to self deprecation and negative thinking. It doesn’t particularly help in life unless you’re comfortable with a quiet one. And I’m not sure I’m comfortable. On the other hand, being clean makes me a better person to be around. I remember behaving badly towards closed ones without any remorse as ADs pretty much kill all normal human emotions. 

I’m glad to hear that some of your symptoms are getting better. It proves that healing happens, albeit slowly. I also have tinnitus, maybe less pronounced. It gets worse when I’m stressed. Maybe you can try some white noise generating devices/programs on the phone? I know it is not a cure, but at least it can trick your mind so that you can have some relief? It’s funny, but I recently saw ‘baby driver’ movie on a plane where a character always listened to music through headphones to mask tinnitus. Maybe having healthy routines in other areas would help? Like having a healthy diet, gentle exercise? But I’m sure you know yourself. 

Best of luck with your new therapist. I’m sure you’re an expert already in all matters WD and won't blindly accept everything doctor would tell about ADs. Trust yourself, trust common knowledge from this website. But I’m also sure there can be a beneficial relationship with a therapist and I wish you to find a good one so you can progress further in you healing. 

I’ve decided to spend less time reading this site as sometimes I tend to ‘self program’ myself’ and start noticing or excaserbating my symptoms. 

Apologies for my slow responses. 

Wishing you all the best

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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8 minutes ago, Ogres said:

shy with a tendency to self deprecation and negative thinking. It doesn’t particularly help in life unless you’re comfortable with a quiet one. And I’m not sure I’m comfortable. On the other hand, being clean makes me a better person to be around. I remember behaving badly towards closed ones without any remorse as ADs pretty much kill all normal human emotions. 

Hi Ogres,

So good to hear from you.  I don't know why, but I can strongly relate to you.  Recently, I've decided that negative thinking is not as bad as I used to think.  As long as I recognize that a thought is negative and replace it with a positive one, I think I'm ok.  Negative behavior, on the other hand, is something I consider a problem.  Remember when I told you I told the therapist that considering my history, to stay on prozac would be a problem for me in the future?  Her response was that I was thinking negatively and that I have a tendency to do that.  I think that was an aha! moment for me.  If I had thought about or researched possible side effects a long time ago, I wouldn't be in this withdrawal fix!  I'm not so sure so-called negative thinking is really a bad thing.  When it happens, I think I probably have a good reason to be concerned about some need that I have.  If the thought is not about hurting someone or myself, I'm no longer going to criticize my "negative thinking."  It's a signal of some kind that something important needs attention.

 

So, lay it on me, Ogres!  Any negative thinking you come up with is aces with me.

 

Thanks for your ideas on relieving my tinnitus.  I will try anything except meds. :)

 

As far as spending time on this site, I find I am doing less of it as well.  Whenever one of my symptoms gets ramped up though (esp. tinnitus), this site is one of the few things that distract me.

 

Best,

RealMe

 

Alcohol periodic excessive 1963-1976, Valium sporadic 1964-1973,  Imipramine off & on 1982-1985, Fluoxetine 10mg-80 mg. Oct., 1995-Jan., 2014; Cymbalta, other ADs 1/2014-3/2014; Abilify 5 mg. 3/2014 - 8/8/17; Trintellix 20 mg. 3/2014 - 9/2017; Propranolol 60-80 mg. sporadically Sept-Oct, 2017; Seroquel few days Sept 2017 (c/t); Wellbutrin 150 mg. Sept, 2017 updosed to 300 mg. few days till c/t Oct 8, 2017, fish oil, vitD, vitE Oct 16, 2017-pres. Lipoflavonoid 4/2017-pres.  Fluoxetine 10 mg. Sept-Oct 8, 2017, 20 mg. 10/9- 10/15; 10 mg. 10/16 - 12/29;  9 mg. 12/30 - 2/9; 2 mL liquid (8.1mg) 2/10 - 3/7; 1.8 mL (7.29 mg) 3/8 -3/20; 1.6 mL (6.561mg) 3/20-4/2; 1.4 mL (5.9 mg) 4/3-4/14; 1mL (4 mg.) 4/15-4/22; .9mL (3.6mg) 4/23-5/1; .81mL (3.24 mg) 5/2-5/24; .73mL (2.916mg.) 5/25-6/8; .65mL 6/9-6/23; .6mL 6/24-7/17; .58mL 7/18-7/28; .525mL 7/29-8/13; .5 mL 8/14-21; .45mL 8/22-31; .4mL 9/2-21; .35mL 9/22-10/4; .3mL 10/5-28; .25mL 10/28-11/10; .2mL 11/11-11/24; .18mL 11/25-12/3; .1mL 12/4-12/18. Zero-12/19/18-present.

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On 13/01/2018 at 7:11 PM, RealMe said:

I'm not so sure so-called negative thinking is really a bad thing.  When it happens, I think I probably have a good reason to be concerned about some need that I have.  If the thought is not about hurting someone or myself, I'm no longer going to criticize my "negative thinking."  It's a signal of some kind that something important needs attention.

Hi RealMe,

I agree with you on some usefulness of negative thinking. There is even a term ‘depressive realism’ with a lot of sense in it. And I also think to presume that one has to be happy and optimistic all the time is wrong. Not so good things happen sometimes and one should be prepared. I think a degree of negative thinking about something real and existing is useful. But too much ungrounded pessimism is not so. 

Hope all is well with you 

Feb 2009-Jul 2015 was on Prozac 20mg/day

                               with breaks for weeks and months off

                               in between.

Jul 2015-Feb 2016 off (cold turkey).

Feb 2016-Aug 2016 back on Prozac 20mg/day

Sep 2016-         completely off (cold turkey)

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