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☼ rupa: Risperdal / risperidone victim


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45 minutes ago, Glosmom said:

Hi Rupa!  Your updates are such a blessing to me!!  I am very sorry you are experiencing another headache.  I hope it leaves you soon.  It seems you are having a bout with headaches about every 2 weeks.  I am sure this is still a part of withdrawal.  Hopefully the headaches will come less frequently and not last as long.

 

 Wanted to share with you that we dropped Glo to zero three days ago......so she is experiencing some ups and downs right now one of which is....headaches 😣   She is experiencing some very good things though too....so hopefully this withdrawal cycle will clear up soon.   Can't believe after 2 years and 4 months she is finally off this awful drug.  I know she has a lot more healing to do. Again your updates are so very, very helpful as I know she is not alone with the cycles of withdrawal symptoms.

 

I wish you continued healing and many blessings, Rupa!!  You are a gem to me!!   Hugs, Glosmom

🥰🤗

Glo reached Zero!

🥳🥳🥳🥳

Please do not give any medicine for anything.

Please apply balms externally,use luke warm pure coconut (Parachute)oil on scalp.

If her hairs are thick,apply coconut oil generously.

You too please keep updating her symptoms,so that our fellow travelers would get some idea that how it all goes.

🌹😚😚😚😚🤗

By the way,pain gone by 4.00 p.m...🙂.

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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Pain.

One inch below top of the skull.

Not concentrated on one place.

Total top of the  scalp.

Severe.

From the morning.

I do not have history of headaches,before meds.

It’s not on the surface to apply something.

Just waiting to.

One thing I noticed,while in pain,total brain get into existance.

I can feel it’s very boundaries.

It shivers in pain,within.

Like blisters of light popping every where on the organ, along with shooting pain.

4 pm.

Didn’t reduce.

If it goes,I will become all alone again.

As if brainless.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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I don't know anything other than some allopathic names for headache help. So I will not utter a single name.

 

Try some Balm. ( Zandu etc which is strong).

 

Waves and windows - but don't neglect if it gets long.

 

Take care.

08/13 - 01/14
Olanzapine, petril MD (Clonazepam ), Dicorate ER (divalproex). Soza 10 (Zolpidem)

02/14 - 05/14
Flunil ​20mg , Divaa OD 250 mg(divalproex), Amisulpride 50mg (1-0-2), zolfresh 5 mg , Quetiapine
05/14 - 08/14 Venlafaxine 75 xr ( 1-0-1), zapiz 0.25
10/14 Zaptra 12.5mg , Oxetol xr 150mg (0-0-1)
11/14 - 08/15
Paris CR 25 (paroxetine) , Oxetol xr 600 mg (0-0-1), nitrest 5mg , Quetiapine for a month.
09/15-11 Venlafaxine XR 75 ( 1-0-1), Mirtazipine 15, Respiredal 0.5, Lamitor 25, zillion 10.
12/15-02/16 Off Meds (C.T)

03/16-Mid April Sertraline, Aripropazole, Quetiapine, Etizolam.

After that : CT and on OTC supplements (Roadback), now on Ayurveda
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1 hour ago, bhasski said:

I don't know anything other than some allopathic names for headache help. So I will not utter a single name.

 

Try some Balm. ( Zandu etc which is strong).

 

Waves and windows - but don't neglect if it gets long.

 

Take care.

How are you bhaaski?

At 11 pm had to take paracetamol.

Hope by morning it will go.

 

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rupa,

Wow, the skull pain sounds awful. I hope it eases soon. Your story is inspirational. ❤️

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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1 hour ago, SkyBlue said:

Hi Rupa,

Wow, the skull pain sounds awful. I hope it eases soon. Your story is inspirational. ❤️

MATA.

☝️That’s what we say in our language.

In english it’s called,word,talk,conversate,expression,communication etc.

If mankind masters in how to use this very word with new born,all mental problems will be vanished.

Thank you.

Wanna go through your thread soon.

Please be patient with the tapering.🌅

Lots of Love from India.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 3/2/2019 at 3:13 PM, rupa said:

Today it’s 2 nd March 3.03 p.m in India.

I am totally clueless why I am getting sharp shooting pain at left middle lobe.

It started from mid morning.

Right above the left ear.

It feels like it’s not from the skull.

But deep inside from the skull.

The pain is bearable.

So did not apply any ointment nor took any medicine.

Sleep is 5 to 6 hours.

Sound sleep.

Day time naps were not sound.Some involuntary thoughts at nap time and wake up time.

Other than this,

Not a single sign of any other symptom.

That’s the reason for this genuine update.

I could not believe today I am getting this pain.

I wanna scream until my voice shuts.

 

No pain at brain or body.

Senseless thought process or involuntary thought process going on.

Second brain has to filter the thoughts and act out positively and properly.

—————

Ohwow.... That’s Past.

From Yesterday ,I noticed involuntary thought process ceased almost.

At negative thought arousal,you can concentrate on breath and stop breath a while and give room  to second brain to evaluate,what rubbish is going on.

————

Another oh WoW.......

Had two nights of 8 hours sleep in a row.

Feeling like ...The Beginning.

That Ecstacy kind of Sleep feeling came back.

That you forgot who you are kind of sleep came back.

That ....you are not gonna wake up ,no matter what’s happening in the world,kind of sleep came back!

————

Mild and vague dream condition at wake up time still there today.

Almost forgot what was in the dream.

That’s the only symptom last.

May be  that’s the sign of deep sleep.

TodayI am  fully confident that,Zero symptom era is not too far.

🥳

————

Less carb diet ,more fruit and vegetable etc included.🙋🏿‍♀️🧚🏻‍♀️💃🏻🌅

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

yay!!  so glad you are managing the remaining symptoms well and heading towards the Zero Symptom Era!!  

2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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On 2/20/2019 at 4:01 PM, rupa said:

There is no any kind of pain or discomfort in the brain or head,from 14 th February.

Sleep is less,but functioning well.

Afternoon naps started,but some disturbance with involuntary thoughts through out the nap.

Nevertheless,Feeling refreshed after nap.

So,over all ,it is seeming like ,previous life of meds.

I appreciate very much of your tapering method.

Awaiting to know your next update.

Sweet kisses to Glo.

*One immportant thing*

Thought process functioning involuntarily,even when fully awake.

Intuition needs space to analyze ,the thought process.

Good thing is ,no immediate action by the thought process.

So ,if anything spoken out spontaniously,need to be given repeated chances to speak same thing, again and again to confirm the authenticity,I.E...should not be treated with judgement spontaniously*.

Almost there is no sane thought process,I am over coming this ,by listening autobiographies.

Even music not stopping unwanted thoughts.

How ever happy and precious ,the life is going on,the moment I get idle ,negative ,meaningless ,discouragive thought process going on.

 

 

 

 

Rupa how long did it take to get your naps back

March-2017-Dec-2017 ativanCT /reinstated ativan 1mg tapered 2 months/June 2017-April 2018 zyprexa 10mg switched to seroquel 200-300mg in april 2018/dec-2017-present zoloft 100mg/ quit seroquel 200-300mg cold turkey May 6 2018 reinstated seroquel 100mg around May 25 2018 since then tapered to 50mg zoloft and 50 mg of seroquel presently other medications Testosterone cypionate 2oomg every 4 days

UPDATE -August 20 2018--october 20 2018 tapered off Testosterone/Nov 7 2018 --Dec 20 2018 Lamictal micro dose 2.50mg 1 1/2 weeks then reduced to 1.25 then fast tapered as it became paridoxial.nausea- racing thoughts- agitation and insomnia.

August 28 2018 to Present Cannabis indica micro dose PM bedtime only.

Presently Seroquel 37.5 mg bedtime /Zoloft 47mg morning

May 2018-Present Multivitamin/ Bcomplex/Vit C 1000MG/B12 1000MCG/Fish oils 2grams/

Jan 2019-Trace mineral liquid low dose

Update dec 2019 -29mg of zoloft tapering/Seroquel 37.5 holding/1 or 2  ativan 1mg a month as needed if that.

Black seed oil-caprylic acid-/b complex/b12/multi/D/E/melatonin

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2 hours ago, RusTW said:

Rupa how long did it take to get your naps back

My first pill July 2016.Tapering started December 2016.

Zero in January 2019.

I napped back in June 2016.

After that I started napping recently.

Now,Life is giving me rebirth kind of happiness.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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5 hours ago, rupa said:

Life is giving me rebirth kind of happiness

This sounds wonderful, Rupa.  I am so happy for you!

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper (essentially CT); withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin after 4 mos. Several unsuccessful slow tapers of Zoloft; went up and down in dose a lot

-Spring 2013 back on 1 mg Klonopin to counter WD symptoms; switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to 35 mg citalopram
-Two attempts at slow tapering citalopram, always increased dose due to WD; also increased Klonopin to 1.25 mg in 2014, then to 1.5 mg in 2015

-8/17-9/17: After holding one year at 20 mg, feeling withdrawal symptoms due to stress - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg I 2021: 7.8 mg - 5.26 mg I 2022: 5.2 mg - 3.36 mg I 2023: 3.3 mg - 1.47 mg 2024: 1/5/24: 1.44 mg; 1/19/24: 1.40 mg; 1/26/24: 1.37 mg; 2/2/24: 1.34 mg; 2/9/24: 1.31 mg; 2/23/24: 1.28 mg; 3/1/24: 1.25 mg; 3/8/24: 1.22 mg; 3/15/24: 1.19 mg; 3/29/24: 1.17 mg; 4/5/24: 1.14 mg; 4/13/24: 1.11 mg

 

 

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16 hours ago, Glosmom said:

yay!!  so glad you are managing the remaining symptoms well and heading towards the Zero Symptom Era!!  

I am looking forward and praying for my dear dear Glo😙

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 14 March 2019 at 9:41 AM, wantrelief said:

This sounds wonderful, Rupa.  I am so happy for you!

Hi, How are you,You are in prayers dear.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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29/03/19

Never Seen This Kind of Day in Life.

10 and half hours of peaceful sleep.

A Sweet,Pleasant,miraculous,Ecastic,Blissful dream,of my loved one in the dream.

Which is very normal dream kind of dream.

Which reminds of normal,before meds ,kind of sleep and dream.

Which not scares you ,which don’t leave you bitter until your next sleep.

Is it happening!?

Recovery Possible?

Yes!

Recovery Absolutely Possible,My Loved Ones.

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

What a wonderful update, Rupa! So happy for you! Thank you for continuing to give inspiration that recovery is possible.  Best wishes to you, Glosmom

2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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18 hours ago, Glosmom said:

What a wonderful update, Rupa! So happy for you! Thank you for continuing to give inspiration that recovery is possible.  Best wishes to you, Glosmom

😙🌅

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yes.

Sleep became great.

10 pm to 10 am if I wanted to.

No sign of dreams.

Some petty thought process from previous 1,2 days memory at wake up time is there.Am waiting it to go.

If it goes, complete symptom free.

So I paid off one of the solemn vow to the goddess.

2 more left to God.

Planning one more next week.

Solemn vows gives some kind of support and hope to my mind.

Rest everything is simply going great.

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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*Heavy brainness

When Watching Tv in lying position for more than 5 minutes.

When Going to places , out from home for more than an hour.

Unable to be in hot weathers, away from home's cool weather.

Tough to explain how it is.

It is like Somebody touching ,Lifting the whole brain slightly, and feeling that fragile thing delicately shivering in that hand like mercury kind of semi solid state.

Got slight fear, any symptoms awaiting ahead?

Going to submit second holy solemn vow tomorrow.

And today this situation.

Proceeding to submition tomorrow anyway.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rupa!  Just wanted to stop by and say, "Hi" and I think of you often as I care for Glo.  I hope the 'heavy brainness' has eased up for you and that there are zero or very, very few symptoms ahead for you.   Glo is heading into her eighth week after dropping to zero and is still going through many phases but we are seeing improvements.  Your journey as you have described here continue to give me hope that her recovery is possible.  I think she has headaches as you have described before and so I say to myself, "Rupa's headaches had an end, so I am sure Glo's will too' :)

 

Continue to wish you many blessings....glosmom

2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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19 hours ago, Glosmom said:

Hi Rupa!  Just wanted to stop by and say, "Hi" and I think of you often as I care for Glo.  I hope the 'heavy brainness' has eased up for you and that there are zero or very, very few symptoms ahead for you.   Glo is heading into her eighth week after dropping to zero and is still going through many phases but we are seeing improvements.  Your journey as you have described here continue to give me hope that her recovery is possible.  I think she has headaches as you have described before and so I say to myself, "Rupa's headaches had an end, so I am sure Glo's will too' :)

 

Continue to wish you many blessings....glosmom

Miss Glo is one of the main reason am posting my symptoms ,Glo's mamma.

My symptoms were lasting only few hours in that purticular day.

When ever purticular symptom occurs , am mentioning here.

I have noticed symptoms not occuring in consequent days.

They are being limited to few hours in that day.

Only one symptom still lasted.

That

Some involuntary thought process, before waking up.

Same at Nap time.

I nap rare though.

Feel free to write mam , you are welcome.

Please take care of your self too.

Sending much love from India.

I love this forum, survivingantidepressants.org

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thank you, Rupa!  I am sincerely grateful for your updates and encouragement.   Gloria and I will be heading to Florida for the beach this Friday (it will be her first trip in 3 years.)  A couple other family members are going as well.   I am looking forward to it!! Getting myself out of the house and being around people is very good for me ( might be hard on Glo but good for me:)).  I have spent much of the last three years in my house caring for Glo.  I am hopeful this spring will bring fresh hope that both she and I can find joy again in our lives.

 

Much love from Indiana (hee hee curious our 'home places' have similar names)  Glosmom

2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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Occassionally ,once in fortnight or long,sudden shooting pain at different lobes of the brain.

Lasts only few seconds.

Involuntary thoughts at wake up time is still there.

No other symptoms, no dreams, nothing.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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A very Important and useful question asked by Mrs Myrah.image.thumb.png.ae144557e3e1cd83be275f99aeb72ccf.pngYes,How am I dealing with hallucinations without medications?

My answer:

First of all , My life completely changed or transformed after this two years of withdrawal experience.

I lost long term memory.

I learnt Life in new and awesome perspective.

Yes, how am I dealing with hallucinations?

I stopped believing them as hallucinations and started enjoying them and accepting them in positive manner.

I was targeted to my mother and ex husband discrimination.

So my suffering was physical and mental abuse from both of them.

I tried being rebel with my mom for the first time in life at the age of 20 and this resulted ending up in more traumatic situations and immediate arranged marriage by her.

She succeeded manipulating my husband and he never give scope to express who I am to him.

He shut his doors , day one of marriage for his personal reasons and married me for his personal reasons.

Lack of technical education,responsibility of my two children made me stuck in that love and sexless marriage for 22 years.

I never stopped trying to upgrade my life in educational , financial, emotional sectors.

Initial 10 years of marriage , I was struggling with my marriage life to get corrected.

Which end up in vain.Only to leave me more deeply scarred.

Later 10 years I was struggling to get better myself in all sector of life. Even though It was hard on myself. I could acheive what I aspired. Improved educational and financial back ground by working hard and multitasked.

I forgot onething that I was never caring my ownself.

I do not want to lie or hide the fact about my emotional factor which lead me deep trauma.

I had 2 years of love and sex after being in 8 years of traumatic marriage, where I was treated as a surrogate.

That 2 years of divine love boost my confidence levels and made me forget all the trauma from childhood.

Unfortunately, I could not marry him as all the trials of getting legal divorce were end up in vain.

I even feared of my children safety.

I had to leave him as his parents were pressurising him for marriage, he could not wait for me any longer to marry.

Then Another person was with me for 10 years, this time our terms were clear.

Love and sex outside marriage lead us to became over posessive to eachother and he could not live without me at my absense.

24/7 he wants me to attend at phone.All this while am struggling for existance along with my children.

His love is great but do not know how to give and take space in this kind of relationship.

I was strict at my children raising at harmonious atmosphere.

I was succeeded in my plans towards raising my children.

But I failed to manage personal relationship.

His behaviour lead me to hallucinate that he was chasing me even online by hacking my network etc.

It's like blind game . Which is very hard on mind.

Then real game started online , which I mentioned in my profile intro.

Which is very hard and lengthy to explain how the scenario goes.

That experience lead me to take my self care strictly.

So I took legal divorce.

I sorted all other petty issues wisely as financial etc.

Now my children succeeded as per plan.

Now this entire experience lead me lost all the negative thoughts, feelings, and so called trauma.

I realised my blunders and learnt how to bring back relations which are never lost. I mean my mother.

She recently expressed that she wanna die while I am sitting next to her.

Now, I have no fear that some one stalking me online, as I realised , I am not the centre of the world.

After experiencing ultimate pain in life in the way of withdrawal, all the past definitions changed.

Just Eat, Love, Pray-Live.

You should be the one who drives the life .

If you know , who you are, your halo will be visible to others.

It is you , and how you take things in life , difines your life.

Peace.

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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I have always maintained a habit in my thread that I strictly stick to the topic of my withdrawal and never discussed any personal issues here.

But in the above post I discussed which kind of my life isuues made my brain damage eventually.

I felt that is necessary to understand , how our native culture, our beliefs,childhood,family and surrounding people, our life style, fetishism of commodities etc effect our valuable brain health.

This is why I was being transparent and truthful.

I hope our honest discussions in this forum will be useful to future research and renovations of mental health sector.

One day every country will pass a bill in their respective parliament that mental health research should be taken as fundamental priority and make ammendments  accordingly.Amen.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Yes!

06/05/2019

Full fledged anger came back.

Lasted 24 hours ,exact as before meds.

Same behaviour of anger , simple spells and ruminating.

No change to extreme behaviour like breaking things or self harm like ever.

No change to low behaviour like self loath and depression.

So, what ever damage these meds cause , there is scope , brain reaches exact its original state.

All that these medicines do is, suppress a person who is with abnormality and extreme behaviour.

If you had to cold turkey, even several times,even after 10 weeks of coldturkey, even after subjected to expose multiple drugs , multiple times lasted using approx 4 weeks each , reinstating with olanzapine and taper slow there after , lead to total recovery.

I wanna see , if any one out there , who coldturkeyed long back and still reinstate small amounts and taper slow , will work same as mine?Will lead to total recovery?

 

--------

Involuntary thoughts before waking up is still there.

Sleep break 2 hours, 3 hours some times 4 hours.

Can all ways fall back to sleep though.

 

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rupa,

I hope you are doing okay. I am not certain that I understand fully what you have written. Are you saying that you had an anger spell that was just like the anger spells you had before you went on any medications? And that is good....as you feel back 'to normal'? or are you saying  your latest anger spell makes you think you need to go back on medicine?

 

I am sorry I am misunderstanding.  I hope what you are saying is that you feel 'back to who you were before meds' and that you are curious if others who have tapered differently than you, ever got back to normal too.

 

I am also glad to read that even though you are waking up from your sleep you are able to get back to sleep.

 

As always....wishing you peace and good health. Glosmom

2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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On 9 May 2019 at 12:53 AM, Glosmom said:

Hi Rupa,

I hope you are doing okay. I am not certain that I understand fully what you have written. Are you saying that you had an anger spell that was just like the anger spells you had before you went on any medications? And that is good....as you feel back 'to normal'? or are you saying  your latest anger spell makes you think you need to go back on medicine?

 

I am sorry I am misunderstanding.  I hope what you are saying is that you feel 'back to who you were before meds' and that you are curious if others who have tapered differently than you, ever got back to normal too.

 

I am also glad to read that even though you are waking up from your sleep you are able to get back to sleep.

 

As always....wishing you peace and good health. Glosmom

Hi 

Glos mom , good to see you.

How is your family trip?

 

No one ever need to use this brain medication **** , if we have enough patience to enalize what our surroundings and other evil people doing to us.

To avoid mental trauma ,every child should be raised as to become independent in financial etc every way.So that we can kick off toxic people around us.

Same time I am asking myself ,if parents are evil , how can a child sustain in this bloody world as sane.

Again why a parent become evil?

It's never ending saga to go back into time.

Atleast we are in so called modern era , that we can develop behavioural skills to treat mind's problems.

Heck with this medicine ****.

I mean this medicines are total waste , not even useful to sell in the garbage.

Instead very painful and total time waste.

----------

Yes mam,

I am totally like before meds in all ways.

Only one thing that I am concious about what I am thinking and how my thought process going.

Reason is there , which is personal.

I am into demolish the reason to make mind free , to think unconsiously like before, to think what ever it wants , without my concious monitoring.

Another one , which is in not my hands that before waking up involuntary thought process with  short term memory, like what happened in yesterday.

Heck.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rupa,

Good!  I am glad all is well with you.  I am calling our trip to the beach a success because I was able to get Glo out of the house, riding in a car for 12 hours each way and she was exposed to the outdoors more than she has in a very long time. She walked to the beach a few days and one day she even made it on to the sand to sit in a chair under an umbrella for awhile.  Still lots of work to do on getting her back to 'normal' but I am happy that we went.   Her issues were caused by medicine (prednisone) and made worse by antipsychotics, so I think her healing might take much longer than others. I did have a wonderful breakthrough moment with her last night in front of the mirror. She was talking up a storm while she looked at herself in the mirror.  For about 10 minutes she was 'my old Glo.' Gives me hope that she will come back to me in time.  She is struggling with anxiety, panic and real fear at times now, but we are working through it.

 

I am so very happy to hear that you have a positive and strong outlook even though you suffered in your past.  The only way to healing is to accept what happened to you and move forward with joy in your heart; and you are doing so. Very proud of you!  I once had a friend that I knew back in my late 30's. During our friendship she discovered/remembered that she was molested by her father, uncle and brother. She had suppressed those memories  and actually had this incredibly high regard for her father. Right before her memories returned to her she became very confused ( I guess it could be called psychotic.) Fortunately, she did not go on any medications and started seeing a counselor.   I was there to help her to figure out what was going on as well. It was a very dramatic and scary time for her.  When the memories finally came back, she returned to her healthy normal thinking and never had issues with confusion/hallucinations/psychosis again.  We no longer keep in touch as I was the person that helped her the most during that time, and I think it was too much for her to keep in touch. But I know she is doing well.  What I learned from that/her experience,  is parental behavior that is toxic and destructive has a HUGE impact on the children as they grow up. She was in her early 40s when she finally dealt with the trauma.  I feel honored that I could be there for her during that very, very difficult time.

 

Best wishes to you always, Rupa, and thanks for staying in touch!!!  Glosmom

2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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On 18 April 2019 at 6:52 PM, rupa said:

*Heavy brainness

When Watching Tv in lying position for more than 5 minutes.

When Going to places , out from home for more than an hour.

Unable to be in hot weathers, away from home's cool weather.

Tough to explain how it is.

It is like Somebody touching ,Lifting the whole brain slightly, and feeling that fragile thing delicately shivering in that hand like mercury kind of semi solid state.

Got slight fear, any symptoms awaiting ahead?

Going to submit second holy solemn vow tomorrow.

And today this situation.

Proceeding to submition tomorrow anyway.

This is happening again from yesterday evening.

Same , been in hot weather for long while for kitchen work.

This time its located in the middle location of brain.

You can sense it, its not at the core   nor at top of the brain.

All these years I had no problem at hard surface of skull.

I can feel the soft organ what we call brain, I can sense , where problem occuring.

Bearable though.

So after 24 hours got chance to relax in cool weather.

Waiting to the discomfort to go away.

Wanna feel pleasant and free.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rupa!  Hope the last episode of brain pain/heaviness passed quickly for you and that you are doing well!  Just wanted to say, "Hi" and that I am thinking of you.  I was able to take Glo to Chicago last weekend to visit her sister. We stayed 2 nights. She did pretty good. I was proud of her for getting out of the house again and going on another (short) trip with me.   She is still struggling with issues so I am not going to post updates for awhile on my own thread.  I hope to wait until I have more good news.  I know she needs more time than others to heal but I am not giving up that she will continue to get better in some way.  

 

Again hoping all is well for you!!  Glosmom

2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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5 hours ago, Glosmom said:

Hi Rupa!  Hope the last episode of brain pain/heaviness passed quickly for you and that you are doing well!  Just wanted to say, "Hi" and that I am thinking of you.  I was able to take Glo to Chicago last weekend to visit her sister. We stayed 2 nights. She did pretty good. I was proud of her for getting out of the house again and going on another (short) trip with me.   She is still struggling with issues so I am not going to post updates for awhile on my own thread.  I hope to wait until I have more good news.  I know she needs more time than others to heal but I am not giving up that she will continue to get better in some way.  

 

Again hoping all is well for you!!  Glosmom

Hiya Mommyyyy💜

 

Yes Mam, Everything settled it seems.

Yesterday, there is sudden spark of pain which lasts a nano second.

So felt not necessary to mention at  thread.

Only one discomfort still there.

That is, involuntary thought process at wake up time.

I am not able to wake up sudden from the sleep.

After thought process , I would realize its wake up time.

Sleep is deep and refreshing.

All my concern was my sleep effected.

Now feeling relieved and good.

I wish all the very best for your family.

Love.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • 1 month later...

Zero symptoms .

Absolutely no exceptions.

Everything Peaceful.

Sleep is deep, just like before meds.

No pain or discomfort in any lobe of brain.

Zero dreams.

If any dream after pindrop deep sleep,that would be very natural,normal kind of dream.

 Appetite is normal like before meds.

Included too much fruit in diet from last few months.

Thought process is better than ever before.

Can do hard work through out the day,still there is no heavy headedness or headache.

No unexplainable emotions.

Enjoying music ,movies,libido  absolutely in very normal way.

Over all,better life than ever before.

Yes,Zero symptoms.

Yes,Rebirth.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Rupa! So happy to hear that you are peaceful and free of symptoms!!  Glo is 2 months behind you in timeline of jumping to zero.  She is still having some issues but many things are better.  She may need longer to get better but I know it is possible as long as she stays off these awful drugs.  Thank you for being her inspiration!! Glosmom

2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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17 hours ago, Glosmom said:

Hi Rupa! So happy to hear that you are peaceful and free of symptoms!!  Glo is 2 months behind you in timeline of jumping to zero.  She is still having some issues but many things are better.  She may need longer to get better but I know it is possible as long as she stays off these awful drugs.  Thank you for being her inspiration!! Glosmom

I realised , still one symptom is there.

Still there are two brains working  in the skull.

One is sleeping and other one is in involuntary thought process in sleep constantly.

Which brings discomfort of sleep.

Not feeling that refreshment of sleep.

On the day of physical activity sleep was sound with two brains.

Cannot do physical work daily as I have lower back pain .

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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Today morning after waking up ,there is this,wierd pain under right eye brow, where I struggled to open the eye, which lasted a minute or two,which is very similar to pain in the lobes, which I noted and experienced through out the withdrawal.

Cold turkeyed risperidone (1m.g)and trihexyphenidyl combination drug out of ignorance,In August 2016 after one month use.

Withdrawal symptoms settled at dreamful,disturbing sleep.

Thus introduced to olanzapine for sleep.Started using olanzapine out of ignorance.

Tapering olanzapine 10 m.g from February 2017.

May 2018 :Still suffering dreams,Still tapering olanzapine at 0.625.100ml water+2.5 mg olanzapine. June 2018 22.5ml=0.57mg.July 2018 20ml,August 2018-17.5ml,September 2018-15ml,October 2018 10 ml,December 2018 7 ml, BrassMonkey slide method so far at lower doses.2 nd December cold turkeyed , only to reach minure doses as reinstatement to cutshort endless tapering process.4rth December started 1ml.

Almost no symptoms and sleep is better,So started 0.5 ml from 17-12-2018.

"0"from31-12-18.Re birth happened from 10- 2020,as rejuvenation took whole2019.Completely recovered now.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

HI Rupa!  Just wanted to say "Hi" and share that Glo had a very similar experience yesterday to something you reported awhile back.....

 

Quote

 

This is happening again from yesterday evening.

Same , been in hot weather for long while for kitchen work.

This time its located in the middle location of brain.

You can sense it, its not at the core   nor at top of the brain.

All these years I had no problem at hard surface of skull.

I can feel the soft organ what we call brain, I can sense , where problem occuring

 

 

 

Glo agreed to go out for a short bike ride 2 days in a row...which is great! However, yesterday it was very warm and sunny so after our very short ride she came in side and was crying and screaming in agony that her head hurt and she was so hot.  It was awful. :(I was able to get her into air conditioning with a fan and cool cloth. She calmed down eventually but I could tell she was 'dazed' from the experience. She ended up being fine during the rest of the evening but it was very hard to watch her suffer for those few minutes. I KNOW it was due to her being in the heat and sun, even though it was a total of about 20 minutes.  Having known that you went through something similar was so comforting!!  Thank you again for sharing your journey so that those of us who are on a similar path can find comfort along the way. 

 

Good news is that Glo is agreeing to go out more and I think the short walks she is taking (about 10 to 15 minutes) are helping her have more consistent sleep. 

 

Hope you are continuing to do well.  I am heading out for a vacation (not taking Glo this time) so  Glo will be with her dad.  I am excited to have a bit of a respite.

 

Best Wishes to you always, Glosmom

2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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