DaveB: trying to stop a roller coaster year

[Rosetta]

12 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

Have they talked to you about me? I don't remember Gridley telling me my reinstatement is off to a good start, and Altostrata has never posted on this thread. 

 

Oh, my, you just "look" so much like Justin, Dave.  Are you brothers?  Ha ha.  Yeah, the bats my the belfry have done it again.  I'm sorry!!! He's the one who reinstated Paxil.  I edit my post to take that part out and put a short sentence in its place about my confusion.

[RachelSusan]

4 hours ago, DaveB said:

So in other words, what I have attempted to do with a Paxil "reinstatement" to help with my Zoloft CT last year isn't going to help and "in fact, it usually makes the condition worse." So where does this leave me? Resigned to a recovery that will probably take years if it is successful at all? That isn't very encouraging. 

Hi Dave,

You mentioned that you think your Paxil reinstatement might have made your condition worse.  I believe it is possible. I do believe however you can stabilize, now, soon, near future. Once you stabilize I think you should start to feel closer to normal again. Then once you resume your taper it just might be possible that you do it slow enough that it sort of runs in the background of your life, meaning the symptoms aren't so awful that they are always front and center. So while you might be tapering for a long time you might not feel bad during that time. Hang in, stay at your same dose, you will get relief.  Again, we've got great moderators on this site, they will give you advice from their own experience and from what they have witnessed here. They often speak to each other sometimes giving slightly different opinions, other times one grand consensus.  They will try and help the best that they can. Dave, you will see improvement.

RS

 

 

 

 

[DaveB]

20 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

Hi Dave,

You mentioned that you think your Paxil reinstatement might have made your condition worse.  I believe it is possible. I do believe however you can stabilize, now, soon, near future. Once you stabilize I think you should start to feel closer to normal again. Then once you resume your taper it just might be possible that you do it slow enough that it sort of runs in the background of your life, meaning the symptoms aren't so awful that they are always front and center. So while you might be tapering for a long time you might not feel bad during that time. Hang in, stay at your same dose, you will get relief.  Again, we've got great moderators on this site, they will give you advice from their own experience and from what they have witnessed here. They often speak to each other sometimes giving slightly different opinions, other times one grand consensus.  They will try and help the best that they can. Dave, you will see improvement.

RS

 

 

 

 

 

This was an encouraging and very much appreciated post, thank you. Had an okay day yesterday, but I am kind of grinding through today.

[Rosetta]

Hi Dave,

 

Thanks for dropping by my thread.  I do hope that post was of use to you.  

 

I'm so new to all of this, but I think you and I were kindled.  You by your direct switch from zoloft to lexpro, me by my direct switch from Celexa to Zoloft.  I think a lot of people on this forum were kindled.  

 

Switching drugs is bad news, I think.  Heck, if missing a dose can kindle the brain then . . . Who does not miss a dose?  Who has never had some mistake, either theirs, their doctor's or the pharmacy's, result in a few days of no meds?  My time on Celexa had its missed doses as did my time on Zoloft.  Once you have that lack of the med then every time you miss a dose it's another strike against you.  Coming off too fast is the granddaddy!

 

You switched from Zoloft Lexapro to Lyrica and then to Paxil.  You became ill right after your switch to Lex?  That makes a year.  

 

For all the WD symptoms or side effects I had while on Celexa, it's clear in my misty memory that I never felt right after my switch to Zoloft in 2011.  I guess I could say I've been struggling since 2011.  I don't think of it that way because the two experiences, on and off Zoloft, have been so different.  My husband says I've been struggling (and he has too) since 2006 or 2007.  There was a lot of stress due to employment and family issues in my life starting in 2004.  That stress did not let up until about the time I decided to start tapering Zoloft -- late 2016.  The post-Zoloft time has been the most intense health-wise.  Maybe I simply don't remember most of the time I was on Zoloft or because I was manic it felt better than this post-Zoloft WD.  Somehow my Zoloft compensated for the lack of Celexa but not enough and not in 2015-16.  So, the CT from Zoloft was the final straw for my system after the prior kindling in 2011.  That's what I suspect happened to me.  

 

I hope your stabilization is easier and quicker than mine because you still have some Paxil helping you keep the brain somewhat steady wherever it can, and I hope your taper is smooth, Dave.  You may have it much easier than I did because you did not CT Paxil.  I hope so!

 

Rosetta

[DaveB]

On 1/15/2018 at 5:30 PM, Rosetta said:

 

 

 

Ha ha!  Not quite!! Gee thanks, but I'm pretty clueless, I think.  The marbles are rolling around up there, and too many have fallen out of my ears.  However, I have been thinking all the same things you have been thinking (I'm doomed; I'm doomed). and I had answers to those "negative thoughts" courtesy of my new brain!  (My new brain which seems to think you and Justin are too much alike, but at least it's a new brain that is responding to CBT!  Yeah! )

 

Good God what a mess those "trusted medical doctors" have created!!  It must be really embarrassing to the ones who have opened their eyes.

 

23 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

Hi Dave,

You mentioned that you think your Paxil reinstatement might have made your condition worse.  I believe it is possible. I do believe however you can stabilize, now, soon, near future. Once you stabilize I think you should start to feel closer to normal again. Then once you resume your taper it just might be possible that you do it slow enough that it sort of runs in the background of your life, meaning the symptoms aren't so awful that they are always front and center. So while you might be tapering for a long time you might not feel bad during that time. Hang in, stay at your same dose, you will get relief.  Again, we've got great moderators on this site, they will give you advice from their own experience and from what they have witnessed here. They often speak to each other sometimes giving slightly different opinions, other times one grand consensus.  They will try and help the best that they can. Dave, you will see improvement.

RS

 

 

 

 

 

I figured I am going to give bi-monthly updates on the 1st and the 16th to keep track of where my symptoms are and where there has been improvement.

 

Symptoms I am struggling with:

 

Morning Anxiety - Not near as bad as it has been at times this year. I don't wake early, and am not all sweaty and panicky like I used to be. Just a really "keyed up" feeling that to varying degrees will last until about 5-8PM when I start to feel closer to normal (still not all the way there). In December before my stupid mistake and setback I would have days, not hours, when the anxiety was much less and those are sorely missed. 

 

Inability to concentrate or enjoy things - Not sure if this is separate or just an effect of the constant anxiety, nevertheless it is terrible and makes it hard to function. 

 

IBS - Has also been worse, but was pretty much resolved in December before my latest setback so that is frustrating. 

 

Oily Skin - Maybe was always an issue, but I don't think so. Could be a medication side effect?

 

Face Flushing and feeling "hot" (in the ears especially and in legs after workouts or at night). 

 

Pins and Needles -  A "light" feeling of pins and needles, usually in my legs.

 

Negative Thoughts - Pretty much based around this never getting better and looking at future events (ie Disney World with the family in September) and still dealing with acute withdrawal and not able to function or enjoy things.  

 

Symptoms that has gone away or are greatly reduced:

 

Sensitivity to Sound - This one started end of the summer, and started to get much better in December, it has not come back much with the recent setback. 

 

Sensitivity to Smell - This one is no longer an issue, stopped sometime in the fall.

 

Shaking (especially in the hands) - This was bad and is much better. I still notice it from time to time but usually my shaking is internal or "akathisia of the mind." 

 

Burning Eyes - Rarely if ever an issue anymore, in the spring and early summer, this was almost debilitating.

 

OCD - Was really bad at points this year, but is much better. The only OCD/Intrusive type thoughts I have now surround this never getting better and "what if" it becomes too much to bear. 

 

Wow, when I write it all out, it seems I have improved, even in my recent state of a HUGE setback. Hoping that means good things for the future and stabilization. Again, thanks to everyone for your encouragement in helping me through a REALLY rough patch right now.

 

[DaveB]

5 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Hi Dave,

 

Thanks for dropping by my thread.  I do hope that post was of use to you.  

 

I'm so new to all of this, but I think you and I were kindled.  You by your direct switch from zoloft to lexpro, me by my direct switch from Celexa to Zoloft.  I think a lot of people on this forum were kindled.  

 

Switching drugs is bad news, I think.  Heck, if missing a dose can kindle the brain then . . . Who does not miss a dose?  Who has never had some mistake, either theirs, their doctor's or the pharmacy's, result in a few days of no meds?  My time on Celexa had its missed doses as did my time on Zoloft.  Once you have that lack of the med then every time you miss a dose it's another strike against you.  Coming off too fast is the granddaddy!

 

You switched from Zoloft Lexapro to Lyrica and then to Paxil.  You became ill right after your switch to Lex?  That makes a year.  

 

For all the WD symptoms or side effects I had while on Celexa, it's clear in my misty memory that I never felt right after my switch to Zoloft in 2011.  I guess I could say I've been struggling since 2011.  I don't think of it that way because the two experiences, on and off Zoloft, have been so different.  My husband says I've been struggling (and he has too) since 2006 or 2007.  There was a lot of stress due to employment and family issues in my life starting in 2004.  That stress did not let up until about the time I decided to start tapering Zoloft -- late 2016.  The post-Zoloft time has been the most intense health-wise.  Maybe I simply don't remember most of the time I was on Zoloft or because I was manic it felt better than this post-Zoloft WD.  Somehow my Zoloft compensated for the lack of Celexa but not enough and not in 2015-16.  So, the CT from Zoloft was the final straw for my system after the prior kindling in 2011.  That's what I suspect happened to me.  

 

I hope your stabilization is easier and quicker than mine because you still have some Paxil helping you keep the brain somewhat steady wherever it can, and I hope your taper is smooth, Dave.  You may have it much easier than I did because you did not CT Paxil.  I hope so!

 

Rosetta

 

I actually Cted Zoloft at the end of October 2016, felt just fine until the end of January 2017 when I felt some anxiety creeping in. I tried to be "proactive" and started Zoloft again at my last dose of 50mgs and all hell broke loose. I have been all over the place on and off different meds for a year now trying to "treat" my anxiety. Paxil just happened to be the last one I tried before I found SA and realized I have been doing it all wrong by "trying" different meds. 

[Rosetta]

I have to get outside before the sun sets.  Sunlight helps me.  I am certain of that, but quickly, have you seen the info about using "gentle exercise" instead of working out?  When I jogged, I was having the worst symptoms.  Exercise increases cortisol.  Maybe you would clam down earlier if you stop working out.  I had to stop and start walking instead.  Hatha yoga and moving meditation yoga may not be your thing, but it's also something I can tolerate.  Lifting weights doesn't bother me, but we are talking 5-40 pounds depending on the muscle.

[DaveB]

On 1/15/2018 at 1:42 PM, Gridley said:

It is pretty common to feel worse in the morning and better as the day progresses.  That is my pattern.  One explanation of this is that cortisol spikes in the morning and then lessens.

 

On 1/16/2018 at 5:28 PM, Rosetta said:

I have to get outside before the sun sets.  Sunlight helps me.  I am certain of that, but quickly, have you seen the info about using "gentle exercise" instead of working out?  When I jogged, I was having the worst symptoms.  Exercise increases cortisol.  Maybe you would clam down earlier if you stop working out.  I had to stop and start walking instead.  Hatha yoga and moving meditation yoga may not be your thing, but it's also something I can tolerate.  Lifting weights doesn't bother me, but we are talking 5-40 pounds depending on the muscle.

 

On 1/15/2018 at 6:15 PM, RachelSusan said:

Hi Dave,

You mentioned that you think your Paxil reinstatement might have made your condition worse.  I believe it is possible. I do believe however you can stabilize, now, soon, near future. Once you stabilize I think you should start to feel closer to normal again. Then once you resume your taper it just might be possible that you do it slow enough that it sort of runs in the background of your life, meaning the symptoms aren't so awful that they are always front and center. So while you might be tapering for a long time you might not feel bad during that time. Hang in, stay at your same dose, you will get relief.  Again, we've got great moderators on this site, they will give you advice from their own experience and from what they have witnessed here. They often speak to each other sometimes giving slightly different opinions, other times one grand consensus.  They will try and help the best that they can. Dave, you will see improvement.

RS

 

 

 

 

 

MAYBE I am starting to do a little better. Mornings are still really hard and I have a few pretty good anxiety flare ups every day. Other than that, anxiety is constant but I can usually get about my day, despite feeling yuck. It is really just the mornings and the few flare ups where is become semi-unmanageable. I also seem to be falling a little into and every other day pattern, where I have a decent day (not good but ok) followed by a more grind it out day. I have seen the poster "Boomer" mention they have this same type of pattern and it seems they think Zyprexa could be causing it. Is that a likely effect of Zyprexa? Or would the likely culprit for me be more of the up and down of rapid cycling "windows and waves?" Overall I would say I am a little better than last week, so I guess baby steps in the right direction is still progress, correct?

[RachelSusan]

Hi Dave,

 

Baby step are right.  I am glad to hear you have improvement, no matter how small.  I think the key to this whole mess is to roll with the punches. There will be bad days and there will be good days.  I think the trick is to look at the over all situation.  That's why I have a spread sheet of symptoms that I keep. When I look at the sheet I can see a visual and say to myself that over all I am better than I was 2 or 3 months ago. 

 

I know the symptoms are awful, the worst thing ever, but you are going to be alright.  It will take time and a lot of patience but you will come out of this and you will be healthy and whole again.

 

Rachel

[DaveB]

Well...so much for the every other day theroy, today was a grind! Coming up on two weeks back on 40mgs and FAR from stable, hoping to see some improvements soon!

[DaveB]

On 1/18/2018 at 9:11 PM, RachelSusan said:

Hi Dave,

 

Baby step are right.  I am glad to hear you have improvement, no matter how small.  I think the key to this whole mess is to roll with the punches. There will be bad days and there will be good days.  I think the trick is to look at the over all situation.  That's why I have a spread sheet of symptoms that I keep. When I look at the sheet I can see a visual and say to myself that over all I am better than I was 2 or 3 months ago. 

 

I know the symptoms are awful, the worst thing ever, but you are going to be alright.  It will take time and a lot of patience but you will come out of this and you will be healthy and whole again.

 

Rachel

 

Thanks Rachel, you give me so much hope when I need it most! After a REALLY rough day yesterday, my anxiety just totally shut off last night after about 7PM, so weird, I was pretty much my “normal” self. This morning hasn’t been as good as last night, but pretty good compared to what mornings have been for me. You are so great to stop by and give me hope when you are dealing with your own withdrawal problems! THANK YOU!!

[Rosetta]

Awesome news that your anxiety shut off and you are having a better morning!!!

[DaveB]

I started having muscle twitches today and because I am taking Zyprexa, it freaked me out about TD. It makes me REALLY wish I wasn’t taking Zyprexa, but there is no way I am ready to taper anytime soon, but am afraid I will develop TD as I wait to stabilize. Any thoughts or suggestions?

[brassmonkey]

Muscle twitching is very common with paxil use.  I had it on and off for my entire taper.  Got better the lower I went.

[DaveB]

4 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

Muscle twitching is very common with paxil use.  I had it on and off for my entire taper.  Got better the lower I went.

 

Is TD something I should be concerned about with Zyprexa while waiting to stabilize? If I am on 2.5 msg of Zyprexa, how long and how far down should I taper before I “jump off?” Sorry for the questions, I am just a little freaked out by this.

[Rosetta]

You can't worry about that right now.  It may never happen.  It probably won't happen.  I'm having dystonia now, and it's going away.  I'm not worried it will stay with me.  I'm really not.  However, worrying about those sorts of things is normal.  You have to practice pushing that thought out of your mind.  Try to distract yourself when the thought comes up.

[brassmonkey]

I wouldn't worry about developing TD right now, but rather concentrate on getting stable and learning some coping tools to make the symptoms easier to bear. On any taper you want to go as low as possible before jumping off. For the Zyprexa probably in the range of 0.25mgai would be a good target, then when you get in that range see how you're feeling before making the jump.  It's understandable to be freaked by what is happening, it's pretty nasty business.  Have you read the thread on Dealing With Emotional Spirals? It's some good information to understand.

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

[RachelSusan]

DaveB,

 

Just to reconfirm what everybody else has said.  Muscle twitches are part of withdrawal or sometimes just with each taper. On Jan 7 you went from 2.5mg to 2.0mg of Zyprexa. Is it possible that your decrease on Jan 7 is causing these twitches now?  The timing is right.  As for the various types of twitches there are many of them you might want to know about just in case they show up. There is my least favorite, which internal trembling. There are also external shakes, and twitches and of course there is the Hypnic jerk that happens right as your are falling asleep and it jolts you out of that peaceful slumber you are about to take and thrusts you into complete anxiety.

 

Dave, you have been on so many different drugs and dosages of medications the last few months that symptoms are to be expected.  They come, they go, sometimes they last for months at a time, or days, or hours, or sometimes for just seconds.  I know right now you need to hear from as many of us that we have all experienced them as well.  The symptoms you are experiencing are dreadful.  We are here to support you the best way we can.

[DaveB]

1 hour ago, brassmonkey said:

I wouldn't worry about developing TD right now, but rather concentrate on getting stable and learning some coping tools to make the symptoms easier to bear. On any taper you want to go as low as possible before jumping off. For the Zyprexa probably in the range of 0.25mgai would be a good target, then when you get in that range see how you're feeling before making the jump.  It's understandable to be freaked by what is happening, it's pretty nasty business.  Have you read the thread on Dealing With Emotional Spirals? It's some good information to understand.

 

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

Great info, I often get caught in an "anxiety spiral." For instance, watching a football game yesterday there was a big helmet to helmet hit on Gronk, I said "wow that was a big hit, he probably has a concussion...I hope he is ok...lots of ex-football players are developing CTE from multiple concussions...I remember Junior Seau shot himself in the heart to escape his damaged brian...my brian feels damaged, what if I end up thinking that is my only way out...what would that do to my kids and wife..." Something a trivial as watching a football game lead to hours of anxiety over something I clearly would never do as just thinking about it caused me a night's worth of anxiety. "Changing the channel," is good advice and something I need to work on, thanks for the link Brassmonkey!

[DaveB]

11 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

DaveB,

 

Just to reconfirm what everybody else has said.  Muscle twitches are part of withdrawal or sometimes just with each taper. On Jan 7 you went from 2.5mg to 2.0mg of Zyprexa. Is it possible that your decrease on Jan 7 is causing these twitches now?  The timing is right.  As for the various types of twitches there are many of them you might want to know about just in case they show up. There is my least favorite, which internal trembling. There are also external shakes, and twitches and of course there is the Hypnic jerk that happens right as your are falling asleep and it jolts you out of that peaceful slumber you are about to take and thrusts you into complete anxiety.

 

Dave, you have been on so many different drugs and dosages of medications the last few months that symptoms are to be expected.  They come, they go, sometimes they last for months at a time, or days, or hours, or sometimes for just seconds.  I know right now you need to hear from as many of us that we have all experienced them as well.  The symptoms you are experiencing are dreadful.  We are here to support you the best way we can.

 

Sorry, that is a typo on my drug signature, I have not messed with my Zyprexa dose (maybe the only thing I have done right in the last year, haha). I am still taking 2.5 mgs of Zyprexa. The twitches are already less today, and at my dose of Zyprexa TD is very much not a likely scenario. Not sure why I let it freak me out like I did. Still holding and to be honest, doing much better overall than I was a few weeks ago. Still have a long way to go, but I feel I am getting closer to my December baseline at least, which is improvement. 

[brassmonkey]

Such an excellent description of a spiral Dave.  It truly is amazing what little things can set off such a huge reaction.  I'm so glad that the thread was helpful.  Picking up on the triggers and cluing in on the start of the progression takes some observation and practice as does changing the channel but it is so worth the effort in the long run.

[DaveB]

On 1/22/2018 at 10:56 PM, brassmonkey said:

Such an excellent description of a spiral Dave.  It truly is amazing what little things can set off such a huge reaction.  I'm so glad that the thread was helpful.  Picking up on the triggers and cluing in on the start of the progression takes some observation and practice as does changing the channel but it is so worth the effort in the long run.

 

The muscle twitches have pretty much resolved themselves now, not sure why I let myself get so worked up about TD from simple muscle twitches. Today I woke with no shakiness, no early morning IBS (trying to look for positives), but my anxiety is REALLY high. Did you have this during your acute phase, can I expect the anxiety to lessen as I stabilize. Some days and moments of the day I feel like I am headed in the right direction, and starting to stabilize, then it is like the anxiety overwhelms me and I worry I am never going to get better. 

[Rosetta]

Hi Dave,

 

You are feeling pretty anxious I see.  Try to take a moment to count your breaths.  That's good news that you have moments when you feel you are headed in the right direction!

 

Rosetta

[brassmonkey]

My anxiety would come in waves that would last several hours to several weeks. In fact I just went through a two week wave of it in December.  Acceptance and deep breathing were the only things I found to help.  The anxiety we get in WD is frequently drug induced and not emotional.  That makes it a big difference in how to handle it.  Emotional anxiety can be talked through, reasoned with and decreased.  Drug induced anxiety can't, because it's chemically controlled not emotionally controlled.  Deep breathing exercises can take the edge off a bit and help you to stay calm.  Acceptance of the situation is the best way to get through it.  Until it clears up on it's own, this level of anxiety is your current baseline and it will fluctuate of it's own accord.  Ignoring it as best as possible is key. Not feeding into it is essential, that will only give it power, make it worse and trigger a downward spiral.  It is very uncomfortable, takes a lot of energy and will leave you drained but the anxiety will not harm you and in time it will resolve. Do a site search on AAF and you'll find a lot of good information.

[DaveB]

19 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

My anxiety would come in waves that would last several hours to several weeks. In fact I just went through a two week wave of it in December.  Acceptance and deep breathing were the only things I found to help.  The anxiety we get in WD is frequently drug induced and not emotional.  That makes it a big difference in how to handle it.  Emotional anxiety can be talked through, reasoned with and decreased.  Drug induced anxiety can't, because it's chemically controlled not emotionally controlled.  Deep breathing exercises can take the edge off a bit and help you to stay calm.  Acceptance of the situation is the best way to get through it.  Until it clears up on it's own, this level of anxiety is your current baseline and it will fluctuate of it's own accord.  Ignoring it as best as possible is key. Not feeding into it is essential, that will only give it power, make it worse and trigger a downward spiral.  It is very uncomfortable, takes a lot of energy and will leave you drained but the anxiety will not harm you and in time it will resolve. Do a site search on AAF and you'll find a lot of good information.

 

Thanks Brassmonkey, good information as always. I wish it would "clear up on its own" a lot sooner than it is! However, I do think my shakiness being pretty much non-existent, as well as sleeping pretty well and no longer getting nauseous in the morning (all of these were issues 3 weeks ago) point to starting to stabilize. I just suck at being patient, but boy am I getting a crash course in it and will be better for it when this is more settled. 

[Riina]

I read your story again and yes, wery similar here, same thoughts and fears and worries. I find this hard because I dont have any control on things. I need to know what happened and what will happen and when.. just waiting and waiting. I hope you feel better soon!

[DaveB]

4 minutes ago, Riina said:

I read your story again and yes, wery similar here, same thoughts and fears and worries. I find this hard because I dont have any control on things. I need to know what happened and what will happen and when.. just waiting and waiting. I hope you feel better soon!

 

I don't know what the answers are, boy I wish I did, but I do know that I felt better in December when I kept everything stable. I also have seen some small improvements this month as I have attempted to stay stable again. If I were you I would ask the mods if they think an up-dose of citalopram to the level you last felt stable makes sense (or maybe just stay level at 2.25), and then hold there for many months. Seems like most people who have done this finally stabilize as their CNS eventually becomes less sensitive and calms back down, then you can resume a VERY slow taper. Those are my thoughts, but I would ask a moderator to weigh in. 

[Riina]

I think that i just need to hold and hold on. Its been about 4 weeks sence my last change and im trying to stabilaze here. I dont really think that any more changes would make a difference, then i would have to start waiting all over again. Im not sure that if its even possible for me to get stable because of all the other drungs Ive been given/taken. Scary. That i know the tapering must be slow. Just waiting to feel even little bit better so that i could get my hope up. If im feeling even ok im not in a horry to even start tapering. If  I get out of here i dont want to risk it ever again. I want improvements too but im going backwards now... 

[DaveB]

14 minutes ago, Riina said:

I think that i just need to hold and hold on. Its been about 4 weeks sence my last change and im trying to stabilaze here. I dont really think that any more changes would make a difference, then i would have to start waiting all over again. Im not sure that if its even possible for me to get stable because of all the other drungs Ive been given/taken. Scary. That i know the tapering must be slow. Just waiting to feel even little bit better so that i could get my hope up. If im feeling even ok im not in a horry to even start tapering. If  I get out of here i dont want to risk it ever again. I want improvements too but im going backwards now... 

 

I couldn't agree more, once I stabilize I am going to hold a good LONG while and enjoy the stability. After this year my family needs a functional, stable, Husband/Father.

[manymoretodays]

Hi DaveB,

 

Good to hear.  That you are now HOLDING.  After what appears to be a tumultuous start.  So you are having a window now?  What's helpful too, for you, for me, and for the other mods and followers of your introduction is doing the diary thing here, on your page........when you can.  I think that I saw where you had used the format for that once before.   The times of day with medications/drugs and symptoms one.

 

And keeping notes for yourself too, on paper, or on a calendar.  Even color code it if you'd like........good days with happy colors........not so good with duller colors.  It may help you see your own progress.

 

Have you been using the supplements that you arrived here using still?

 

Here's a quote from Gridley that I found on your first page:

Overthinking is a symptom of withdrawal.  It is human to doubt and worry.  It is also unhelpful during a hold.  I believe the brain heals better (whether on a hold or taper) when you think your hold or taper is going to work.  Doubt feeds more doubt, creating unease.  Believing the hold is working creates a sense of comfort, which promotes stability and healing.   At least, that was my experience.

 

And I do like what I am hearing from you in your post today DaveB.  Try to keep in mind though that you may hit a wave here too........and will be able to handle it without any more abrupt changes in medication/drugs.

 

Thanks for your post on my intro/journal too.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

[DaveB]

13 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Hi DaveB,

 

Good to hear.  That you are now HOLDING.  After what appears to be a tumultuous start.  So you are having a window now?  What's helpful too, for you, for me, and for the other mods and followers of your introduction is doing the diary thing here, on your page........when you can.  I think that I saw where you had used the format for that once before.   The times of day with medications/drugs and symptoms one.

 

And keeping notes for yourself too, on paper, or on a calendar.  Even color code it if you'd like........good days with happy colors........not so good with duller colors.  It may help you see your own progress.

 

Have you been using the supplements that you arrived here using still?

 

Here's a quote from Gridley that I found on your first page:

Overthinking is a symptom of withdrawal.  It is human to doubt and worry.  It is also unhelpful during a hold.  I believe the brain heals better (whether on a hold or taper) when you think your hold or taper is going to work.  Doubt feeds more doubt, creating unease.  Believing the hold is working creates a sense of comfort, which promotes stability and healing.   At least, that was my experience.

 

And I do like what I am hearing from you in your post today DaveB.  Try to keep in mind though that you may hit a wave here too........and will be able to handle it without any more abrupt changes in medication/drugs.

 

Thanks for your post on my intro/journal too.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

 

Yes still taking the same supplements, would be interested to hear thoughts on whether these could be helping or hurting my stabilization and recovery. Here are my notes from yesterday. 

 

7:30 AM - Waking feeling less shaky and no "run the the bathroom" IBS. Feeling very keyed up and anxious though.

9:00 AM - Take Garden of Life Men's Multivitamin, Sports Research Omega 3 Fish Oil (2074 total Omega 3s), 250 mgs Nature Made Magnesium Citrate, 2000IU Nature Made Vitamin D.

10:00 AM - Noon - Anxiety starting to dissipate, very loose IBS stools (sorry if TMI)

Noon - 11PM - Anxiety coming and going in waves (totally manageable waves, AAF right Brassmonkey?), but many times it feels almost gone, I am doing MUCH better than a few weeks ago.

11PM - 40mgs Paxil, 2.5mgs Zyprexa.

11:30PM - Bed

[Gridley]

Be careful of the multivitamin, which likely contains vitamin B.  Vitamin B can be very activating (anxiety-causing) for those in withdrawal.

[DaveB]

4 hours ago, Gridley said:

Be careful of the multivitamin, which likely contains vitamin B.  Vitamin B can be very activating (anxiety-causing) for those in withdrawal.

 Is there a certain b vitamin or just all b vitamins? This multivitamin is good about only doing around 100% of recommended, I have seen some that do like 2500% and such.

[Gridley]

According to Alto, some people in withdrawal are sensitive to all B-vitamins.  Yours does sound like a low dose.  Just monitor yourself to see if it may be having an activating effect on you.  If you think so, you can eliminate it.

[manymoretodays]

Ha.  Like minds.......  Exactly.  Hi Gridley.   The multivitamin was the only one I was concerned with too.

 

And then also the fact that it has several different ingredients.  Often times...... it is best DaveB, to stick to just single ingredient supplements.  And to try each new one separately, rather than add on things willy nilly.  I do okay with sublingual B12 at bedtime.......it's very calming.  When I tried a liquid Bcomplex though.........whew........not good, and this was fairly recently.  Not so much anxiety for me from it.......just so scattered and unfocused........

 

Nice job on the entry above too DaveB., the format.  Sure sounds like a window.  I had the exact same morning stuff for a long time, yet.......after awhile I could work around it as far as managing okay.

 

Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

 

 

[DaveB]

Ok...some advice and guidance is needed here. I have been doing MUCH better the last few day or week, and want to do whatever I can to keep in that way if possible. I haven't had an anxiety free day, but where my anxiety used to be a 6-7 out of 10 it has been in the 3-4 range the last few days and honestly it feels like an anxiety free day my be just around the corner. 

 

HOWEVER...I am sick. I am not sure if it is the flu, or strep throat. I have body aches, a fever, and a really sore throat. I haven't really been sick this year while dealing with withdrawal and I want to avoid a setback if it is at all possible. So...any advice? Medication that for sure should NOT be taken vs what would probably be okay? I took two Tylenol this morning before work to help with the body aches (I figured Tylenol was about the safest choice of pain relievers), but before I do anything else I am reaching out to all the incredible and incredibly knowledgeable people here to get some advice. Thanks in advance and thank you for all you do, you guys have been a shining light in some of the darkest times of my life, and I am forever grateful to you.