DaveB: trying to stop a roller coaster year

[DaveB]

2 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

I thought it was just a vegetable juice.  I noticed it in your symptoms diary.  That could be contributing to your anxiety.  Like doh!!!  I did ask if you were drinking coffee.

 

 

I have stopped drinking them many times, it has never made a difference, in fact if anything, like the monster drinks the last couple of days, it seems to help for some bizarre reason.

[Happy2Heal]

10 minutes ago, DaveB said:

I have stopped drinking them many times, it has never made a difference, in fact if anything, like the monster drinks the last couple of days, it seems to help for some bizarre reason.

 

this sounds like a potential paradoxical reaction to caffeine...

I had a paradoxical reaction to caffeine at one point, after making too many changes in my dose, and the Rxes I was taking...

I would drink strong brewed coffee, something I wasn't used to doing, and I would fall asleep. Out cold! 

 

I tried to use zyprexa to help me with WD symptoms from lexapro- the first tiny dose made me feel pretty darn good, the next dose, it did the opposite. It went paradoxical

 

IF this is what is happening with your Monster drink, I"d take this as a **potential sign** that other things may go paradoxical on you.

 

What that can mean is that you need to be VERY careful with dosage changes of any kind, and very careful with what you add and what you stop, whether it's a prescription, a supplement or something like caffeine or alcohol or other substances.

 

You may also be fooling yourself about what your reaction is because this is something you want to drink. it's not a judgement, we all do it. If there's something we want to do, we can convince ourselves that it's not really a problem, even when all the evidence suggests otherwise.

at any rate, it's your life, your body, your brain, your recovery, ultimately...

and your choice.

 

do you understand about paradoxical reactions? it seems that once your nervous system is sensitized this way, you are more prone to have this kind of reaction to just about anything.

😕

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[DaveB]

@Happy2Heal good info, though I am frightened now of things going paradoxical haha. I get what you are saying for sure,m about wanting to do something, but I don’t really even like monster drinks, just was baffled by the good reaction I had to the 1st one.

[DaveB]

@ChessieCat @Altostrata

 

Woke at 7 - Moderate anxiety, headed to the dentist. take multivitamins, fish oil, magnesium, vitamin d. Moderate to strong anxiety.

 

9:30 - 10:30AM - anxiety really strong coming in waves.

 

10:30 - noon - Monster Energy drink, feeling much better, mild anxiety.

 

Noon - Take Paxil 10MGs

 

Noon - 5PM - anxiety creeping back in, dealing with strong anxiety.

 

5PM - 7PM - anxiety subsiding, still there but waves of mild or moderate.

 

7PM - Moderate exercise, 

 

7PM - 10:30PM - Feeling good, low anxiety.

 

11PM - 2.5mgs Zyprexa 

 

10:30 - 11:30 - anxiety spike while watching a movie before bed.

 

11:30 - 7AM - Really broken sleep with waves of anxiety throughout the night. Probably worst night sleep since I started Zyprexa over a year ago.

 

Morning today I feel mild anxiety, which is really surprising given my night last night. I would have expected to wake up to much worse.

[powerback]

17 minutes ago, DaveB said:

10:30 - 11:30 - anxiety spike while watching a movie before bed.

 high Dave ,I love a good movie but I'm getting better at picking a movie that doesn't spike anxiety ,watch out for this before sleep .

The other night about 8pm I was getting stuck into a creepy movie ,I had to say here lads this is spiking my anxiety .

Take care.

[DaveB]

@powerback

 

good to know, wasn’t really a high anxiety movie. “Fault in our Stars,” I don’t know what the cause is but I am starting to get late night anxiety spikes, and that is really no fun.

[DaveB]

I don’t know what to do anymore, I am kind of at the end of my rope here. Tried to lay back down cause I don’t have client meetings til the afternoon, anxiety hit hard. Now I am getting it morning and night, even middle of the night with no respite. I can’t keep living like this! I am just not getting any better, have been holding now for almost 3 months on Paxil. 

[Rosetta]

Oh, Dave, I'm really sad to hear you are having late night anxiety spikes.  They are truly awful.  I had them for a long time.  Finally I quit taking magnesium before bed.  They became much less intense and even went away.  I think you should stop taking whatever might be new to your diet and see if that makes a difference.  (((Dave)))

[eymen23]

Dave,

 

Only yesterday you posted up about the really good day you had overall. You seem to be experiencing windows and waves at this stage, which seems very optimistic given you made several drastic cuts at the end of last year. 

 

Appreciate you’ve held for 3 months, but it would have taken much longer to taper down to 10mg. 

 

Be patient and remember there is no way to work around this withdrawal process, you have to try and find the means to work through it! 

 

[Altostrata]

eymen has it, you are going to have to deal with some bumps and stay the course.

[Happy2Heal]

6 hours ago, DaveB said:

@Happy2Heal good info, though I am frightened now of things going paradoxical haha. I get what you are saying for sure,m about wanting to do something, but I don’t really even like monster drinks, just was baffled by the good reaction I had to the 1st one.

sorry didn't mean to frighten you, just give you a head's up about the possibility.  

It's something I wish I'd known and understood before I made all my mistakes, hahaha

 

now I try to help others avoid those same mistakes

 

[shawny]

@Happy2Heal: I tried messaging u regarding ur success story , can u message me please 

[Happy2Heal]

8 hours ago, shawny said:

@Happy2Heal: I tried messaging u regarding ur success story , can u message me please 

ok sorry I didn't realize my inbox was full. It's cleared out now so you can message me.

 

sorry for the interruption to your thread, Dave

[DaveB]

@ChessieCat @Altostrata

 

7:30AM - 8:30 AM - finally up after a terrible night. Anxiety surprisingly quite mild. take multivitamins, fish oil, magnesium, vitamin d. Moderate to strong anxiety.

 

8:30 - 11AM - don’t have client meeting til the afternoon so try to lay down to get some sleep after bad night. Broken sleep, HIGH Anxiety.

 

11AM - Take Paxil 10MGs, Monster Energy drink, feeling much better

 

11AM - 1PM - Feeling much better, not normal, but manageable.

 

1PM - 3PM - anxiety building a little, still at manageable levels.

 

3PM - 5:45 - Anxiety ranging from mild to moderate, manageable.

 

5:45 - Moderate exercise

 

5:45 - 11PM - Feeling good, low anxiety if any.

 

11PM - 2.5mgs Zyprexa and bed. 

 

Night I really felt great, finished the movie, and enjoyed the evening. Slept totally fine unlike the night before. Woke to pretty strong anxiety at 6:45 that became really strong by 8AM. Now 10AM and the anxiety has subsided, thank goodness cause it was really bad.

 

Overall yesterday wasn’t bad, I posted at my worst and I apologize for that, I probably need to make a rule not to post when feeling my worst. I just can’t talk to my wife about it, so this forum ends up being my sounding board and I am sorry for that.

[eymen23]

Dave,

 

It’s understandable. I try to be as level headed as possible, but as soon as my symptoms turn up beyond a certain level,

I suddenly get the urge to share that with everyone and start warning people that things are going to be rough with me for a while etc. 

 

Now you are seeing more evidence of clear windows and waves, perhaps your confidence will begin to increase and you can tell yourself ‘this will pass’. If you can manage this, you will be less likely to be on high alert about symptoms and you will be less likely to buy into catastrophic thinking. 

 

Hang in there, everyone here is routing for you. 

[DaveB]

Thanks @eymen23, it is good to know people are rooting for you. I do feel like I went into a two week wave the beginning of January, and am hopefully getting back to the windows and waves I was experiencing in February.

[eymen23]

Just now, DaveB said:

Thanks @eymen23, it is good to know people are rooting for you. I do feel like I went into a two week wave the beginning of January, and am hopefully getting back to the windows and waves I was experiencing in February.

 

Let’s hope so. You seem to be having some much more tolerable days and that’s very positive in itself.

 

I suspect all the changes caught up with you and things are slowly coming back into balance. 

[dj2010]

1 hour ago, DaveB said:

@ChessieCat @Altostrata

 

7:30AM - 8:30 AM - finally up after a terrible night. Anxiety surprisingly quite mild. take multivitamins, fish oil, magnesium, vitamin d. Moderate to strong anxiety.

 

8:30 - 11AM - don’t have client meeting til the afternoon so try to lay down to get some sleep after bad night. Broken sleep, HIGH Anxiety.

 

11AM - Take Paxil 10MGs, Monster Energy drink, feeling much better

 

11AM - 1PM - Feeling much better, not normal, but manageable.

 

1PM - 3PM - anxiety building a little, still at manageable levels.

 

3PM - 5:45 - Anxiety ranging from mild to moderate, manageable.

 

5:45 - Moderate exercise

 

5:45 - 11PM - Feeling good, low anxiety if any.

 

11PM - 2.5mgs Zyprexa and bed. 

 

Night I really felt great, finished the movie, and enjoyed the evening. Slept totally fine unlike the night before. Woke to pretty strong anxiety at 6:45 that became really strong by 8AM. Now 10AM and the anxiety has subsided, thank goodness cause it was really bad.

 

Overall yesterday wasn’t bad, I posted at my worst and I apologize for that, I probably need to make a rule not to post when feeling my worst. I just can’t talk to my wife about it, so this forum ends up being my sounding board and I am sorry for that.

 

You will notice the morning anxiety will go once you are off zyprexa, it was the same for me it was horrendous, had to get into a cool shower every morning and sit there in shower curled in a ball for up to a hour until the anxiety lessened, use to be physically sick also soon as got out of bed, was truly torture 

[DaveB]

22 minutes ago, dj2010 said:

 

You will notice the morning anxiety will go once you are off zyprexa, it was the same for me it was horrendous, had to get into a cool shower every morning and sit there in shower curled in a ball for up to a hour until the anxiety lessened, use to be physically sick also soon as got out of bed, was truly torture 

 

Really? That is essentially what the Zyprexa was prescribed for and to be honest it really helped, especially in the beginning. I was waking at 4AM in a cold sweat, now it is more just intense anxiety at 7AM.

[DaveB]

24 minutes ago, eymen23 said:

 

Let’s hope so. You seem to be having some much more tolerable days and that’s very positive in itself.

 

I suspect all the changes caught up with you and things are slowly coming back into balance. 

 

I sure hope so!

[dj2010]

17 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

Really? That is essentially what the Zyprexa was prescribed for and to be honest it really helped, especially in the beginning. I was waking at 4AM in a cold sweat, now it is more just intense anxiety at 7AM.

 

Yes I rekon so, your days look very much like mine when was medicated, anxiety would lessen as day went on and then evenings would be like normal and I could relax sit and eat and watch tv etc, then mornings when wake be hell again, was worse when on zyprexa but still bad on seroquel, morning anxiety lessened when got to ultra low dose and disappeared when finished taper, 

 

you will be fine

[DaveB]

10 minutes ago, dj2010 said:

 

Yes I rekon so, your days look very much like mine when was medicated, anxiety would lessen as day went on and then evenings would be like normal and I could relax sit and eat and watch tv etc, then mornings when wake be hell again, was worse when on zyprexa but still bad on seroquel, morning anxiety lessened when got to ultra low dose and disappeared when finished taper, 

 

you will be fine

 

Wow that is good to know, I have been reluctant to taper Zyprexa cause I thought it was supposed to help the morning anxiety. I do think I am done with worrying about diabetes, TD, and big weight gain of Zyprexa. When I am finally stable enough to taper (realistically a year away unfortunately), I think I will tackle the Zyprexa 1st.

[dj2010]

5 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

Wow that is good to know, I have been reluctant to taper Zyprexa cause I thought it was supposed to help the morning anxiety. I do think I am done with worrying about diabetes, TD, and big weight gain of Zyprexa. When I am finally stable enough to taper (realistically a year away unfortunately), I think I will tackle the Zyprexa 1st.

 

Cant see your other drugs on my phone but might be worth micro tapering the zyprexa if possible even if only a couple % a month, you will be surprised how much it is adding to your symptoms, it was great for me at first and then it stopped working like it did, the worst drug I’ve been on out of many

[Altostrata]

Dave, it appears that moving the Paxil earlier is a positive change. How much earlier do you want to move it? What time in the morning would it be convenient for you to take it each day? You have to be sure not to forget to take it.

 

Does your Monster drink contain B vitamins and taurine?

[DaveB]

56 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Dave, it appears that moving the Paxil earlier is a positive change. How much earlier do you want to move it? What time in the morning would it be convenient for you to take it each day? You have to be sure not to forget to take it.

 

Does your Monster drink contain B vitamins and taurine?

 

I took it at 10 today, hoping to move it to 8AM would probably be preferable. 

 

Yes it looks like the monster drink does contain b vitamins and taurine, is that bad? I did not drink one today, did the V8 drink instead (much less caffeine). 

[Gridley]

B vitamins can be overstimulating to people in withdrawal.

 

Hypersensitive to B Vitamin or B-Complex  

 

[Tom37]

If I was you would give up the drinks for a bit and see if that makes a difference.

 

Think very carefully before attempting to taper the zyprexa if that has crossed your mind. Please get moderators thoughts on this first.

 

Hopefully you get a few better days in a row soon to give you some confidence that this will end.

[DaveB]

2 hours ago, Gridley said:

B vitamins can be overstimulating to people in withdrawal.

 

Hypersensitive to B Vitamin or B-Complex  

 

 

Which is why it makes no sense I feel better after drinking one.

27 minutes ago, Tom37 said:

If I was you would give up the drinks for a bit and see if that makes a difference.

 

Think very carefully before attempting to taper the zyprexa if that has crossed your mind. Please get moderators thoughts on this first.

 

Hopefully you get a few better days in a row soon to give you some confidence that this will end.

 

Probably a good idea on the drinks. I am not considering tapering ANYTHING for a good long while. I need to get stable. Yeah to have some good days in a row would be awesome at this point. If I have a good day it is pretty much ALWAYS followed by a bad one.

[Altostrata]

Could be you could use some B vitamins or something. But if you have sleep problems, that drink could be overstimulating.

 

Please let us know how you're doing as you move Paxil earlier each day, to 8 a.m., then stop moving it.

[Tom37]

Good call on the tapering. 

 

Im sure you will get a few good says in a row soon...my good or better days are not symptom free but are far more tolerable which is a start I guess. 

 

Maybe those better days will start this weekend- you never know.

[DaveB]

19 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Could be you could use some B vitamins or something. But if you have sleep problems, that drink could be overstimulating.

 

Please let us know how you're doing as you move Paxil earlier each day, to 8 a.m., then stop moving it.

 

Ok, tomorrow will be 9AM then 8AM Saturday, then I will be done.

[DaveB]

1 minute ago, Tom37 said:

Good call on the tapering. 

 

Im sure you will get a few good says in a row soon...my good or better days are not symptom free but are far more tolerable which is a start I guess. 

 

Maybe those better days will start this weekend- you never know.

 

You never know, that would be awesome!

[DaveB]

@ChessieCat @Altostrata

 

7:30AM - 9:30AM - sept better last night, but wow much more anxiety too. take multivitamins, fish oil, magnesium, vitamin d. Unbearable anxiety in the morning.

 

9:30 - 11AM - anxiety almost shuts off completely, feeling so much better, maybe the V8 energy?

 

10AM - Take Paxil 10MGs

 

11AM - 1PM - Feeling much better, not normal, but manageable.

 

1PM - 3PM - anxiety building, Getting pretty bad.

 

3PM - 9PM Anxiety ranging from moderate to high, pretty rough.

 

9 PM - Basketball

 

10PM - 11PM - Feeling better, But anxiety still hanging around.

 

11PM - 2.5mgs Zyprexa and bed.

 

Pretty tough day overall to be honest, anxiety strong again this AM, I would give anything to not have to wake to strong anxiety every freaking morning! It is just the worst way to start a day.

[Altostrata]

Your system may be adjusting to the change in Paxil dosing. This will take a week or so.

[DaveB]

Hey guys, do you really think I will stabilize given time doing what I am currently doing and that I can get back to normal? My wife thinks I just need to quit taking everything, “why would you keep taking something that doesn’t make you  better?” She thinks I should just quit taking meds and “see what’s you, and what is side effects.”

[ChessieCat]

5 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Your system may be adjusting to the change in Paxil dosing. This will take a week or so.