DaveB: trying to stop a roller coaster year

[Rosetta]

Hey Dave,

 

Sorry to hear you are sick.  The fever helps to kill the virus. Tylenol reduces fever.  So, I use ibuprophen instead, but I doubt that's very good for us.  None of these medicines are risk free especially in WD.   In any event, I believe that using Tylenol makes the illness last longer.

 

So, I don't take take anything else.  It's too risky in my opinion.  I'm very gun shy now that I've had so many mental symptoms.  NyQuil stopped working when the formula was changed years ago to take out the stuff that makes meth.  So, it's useless, but I wouldn't want the old active ingredient while I'm in WD anyway.

 

It's all about fluids, imo.  If I can avoid dehydration, I can avoid headaches and other aches and also avoid more ibuprophen.  I drink a lot of watered down orange juice and a lot of caffeine free teas.  I also like to get "Better than Bouillion" brand chicken soup stock starter and drink hot cups of that.  The pediatric frozen pops are good, especially if you have a sore throat.  Gatorade is probably full of toxins, but it will do in a pinch.

 

Hope you feel better.

 

 

[DaveB]

3 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Hey Dave,

 

Sorry to hear you are sick.  The fever helps to kill the virus. Tylenol reduces fever.  So, I use ibuprophen instead, but I doubt that's very good for us.  None of these medicines are risk free especially in WD.   In any event, I believe that using Tylenol makes the illness last longer.

 

So, I don't take take anything else.  It's too risky in my opinion.  I'm very gun shy now that I've had so many mental symptoms.  NyQuil stopped working when the formula was changed years ago to take out the stuff that makes meth.  So, it's useless, but I wouldn't want the old active ingredient while I'm in WD anyway.

 

It's all about fluids, imo.  If I can avoid dehydration, I can avoid headaches and other aches and also avoid more ibuprophen.  I drink a lot of watered down orange juice and a lot of caffeine free teas.  I also like to get "Better than Bouillion" brand chicken soup stock starter and drink hot cups of that.  The pediatric frozen pops are good, especially if you have a sore throat.  Gatorade is probably full of toxins, but it will do in a pinch.

 

Hope you feel better.

 

 

 

Good advice,, thanks Rosetta! Body aches were coming on pretty bad so I took some Advil. I was hoping to not take anything, but I need to make it through the workday. Anyone else with advice on how not to let an illness hurt progress with withdrawal? 

[manymoretodays]

Self care like you may have never practiced before, DaveB.  Like what are you doing at work if you are sick right now?    If need be.......go get a throat culture as well, and if it's positive for strep, do the antibiotics.......... is the way I feel about that one.  Don't ever do the indiscriminate use of ABX though for every virus out there, which hopefully is what you are suffering.

 

Fluids, rest, kindness to yourself, etc.

Plug medications into the interactions checker at drugs.com.  Before you take them.  That's my motto.

 

mmt

 

I do do an occasional use of ibuprofen myself once in a blue moon.

Edited January 27, 2018 by manymoretodays

[DaveB]

23 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Self care like you may have never practiced before, DaveB.  Like what are you doing at work if you are sick right now?    If need be.......go get a throat culture as well, and if it's positive for strep, do the antibiotics.......... is the way I feel about that one.  Don't ever do the indiscriminate use of ABX though for every virus out there, which hopefully is what you are suffering.

 

Fluids, rest, kindness to yourself, etc.

Plug medications into the interactions checker at drugs.com.  Before you take them.  That's my motto.

 

mmt

 

I do do an occasional use of ibuprofen myself once in a blue moon.

 

Great advice MMT! I need to get better at self-care, I have a day off tomorrow and will spend it resting. I own a business and it hasn't been doing all that great this year because I have been dealing with all of this. Unfortunately I need to be at work, even when not feeling good to get this business back on track. Hopefully this illness won't lead to a setback and I can continue stabilizing and improving. I want to get to the tapering part of this not to acute withdrawal and stabilizing phase. 

[powerback]

On ‎27‎/‎01‎/‎2018 at 4:46 PM, DaveB said:

Ok...some advice and guidance is needed here. I have been doing MUCH better the last few day or week, and want to do whatever I can to keep in that way if possible. I haven't had an anxiety free day, but where my anxiety used to be a 6-7 out of 10 it has been in the 3-4 range the last few days and honestly it feels like an anxiety free day my be just around the corner. 

 

HOWEVER...I am sick. I am not sure if it is the flu, or strep throat. I have body aches, a fever, and a really sore throat. I haven't really been sick this year while dealing with withdrawal and I want to avoid a setback if it is at all possible. So...any advice? Medication that for sure should NOT be taken vs what would probably be okay? I took two Tylenol this morning before work to help with the body aches (I figured Tylenol was about the safest choice of pain relievers), but before I do anything else I am reaching out to all the incredible and incredibly knowledgeable people here to get some advice. Thanks in advance and thank you for all you do, you guys have been a shining light in some of the darkest times of my life, and I am forever grateful to you. 

Pump vitamin c  into your system DaveB .

Get well soon. 

[DaveB]

Does anyone know where the 4-6 weeks of antidepressant trail period came from? Why 4-6 weeks when obviously a nervous system can take much longer than that to adjust to a new drug and to calm down after a period of high anxiety. I know this 4-6 week guideline has caused me a lot of pain in the last year, and I am sure it has done the same for others. Just wondering why doctors and drug companies tell patients that they will feel totally back to normal in 4-6 weeks, when obviously, healing can take much longer. Seems cruel to give people false hope, as well as downright dangerous to continue switching them every month to something else. 

[DaveB]

I am not sure if I am in a wave, or if it is just the illness. Sucks that this illness is making it tough to tell. I thought my anxiety was getting worse yesterday as the day progressed, but as it got worse and worse I was running a low grade fever and the body aches and sore throat came back strong. Seems when the fever and body aches have gone the last few days I have felt very good anxiety wise, but this illness is playing mental games with me. Needing advice and encouragement. 

[powerback]

1 hour ago, DaveB said:

I am not sure if I am in a wave, or if it is just the illness. Sucks that this illness is making it tough to tell. I thought my anxiety was getting worse yesterday as the day progressed, but as it got worse and worse I was running a low grade fever and the body aches and sore throat came back strong. Seems when the fever and body aches have gone the last few days I have felt very good anxiety wise, but this illness is playing mental games with me. Needing advice and encouragement. 

Hi  dave your body is taking a beating with withdrawal and fever/colds.just back from a light walk and I feel alien out there in the world ,very strong depression ,its got to get better when the cold season is over ..

I get ye with the mental games,ive to get a flight on Saturday and the anxiety I have that ile get the bad flu strain before hand is terrible.

We keep fighting dave ,we just simply have too

[DaveB]

20 minutes ago, powerback said:

Hi  dave your body is taking a beating with withdrawal and fever/colds.just back from a light walk and I feel alien out there in the world ,very strong depression ,its got to get better when the cold season is over ..

I get ye with the mental games,ive to get a flight on Saturday and the anxiety I have that ile get the bad flu strain before hand is terrible.

We keep fighting dave ,we just simply have too

 

We will, and we will win the fight and be stronger for it. Just sucks I felt like I was making real progress then get hit with this bug. Haven't really been sick during this other garbage this last year, so I guess I was due. 

[Rosetta]

22 hours ago, DaveB said:

Does anyone know where the 4-6 weeks of antidepressant trail period came from? Why 4-6 weeks when obviously a nervous system can take much longer than that to adjust to a new drug and to calm down after a period of high anxiety. I know this 4-6 week guideline has caused me a lot of pain in the last year, and I am sure it has done the same for others. Just wondering why doctors and drug companies tell patients that they will feel totally back to normal in 4-6 weeks, when obviously, healing can take much longer. Seems cruel to give people false hope, as well as downright dangerous to continue switching them every month to something else. 

 

I think you are starting to get the picture, Dave.  In my opinion, the 4-6 weeks is the perfect time period to get hooked on an AD for most people.  I've come to the conclusion there are no "accidents" in all this.  I think we have been leasing our mental health from the pharmaceutical companies one pill bottle at a time.  Now we are paying the penalty for terminating the lease early.  I kid you not.  I just didn't think that the pharm companies could get the doctors on board with their plan.  That was my mistake -- trusting the doctors who need their incomes just as badly as we need ours.  (The horrifying thing is that keeping the lease going doesn't prevent the disaster -- there's tachyphylaxis, and, as you say, changes to the prescription.  That is the solution for a doctor biding his time and putting off the inevitable.)

 

Now for the support: It's going to be ok.  We have very fragile CNSes. We have to be much more gentle with ourselves for these months of healing.  There will come day when that's no longer true.  It can't come fast enough, but it's not going to happen on my timeline nor yours.  That is very hard to accept.  For now, we can't ignore a cold or flu and still function the way we used to.  That's very, very hard to accept!!  There are so many things I want to do!!  I want to go on with my life.  I can't even have a cocktail!!

 

Here's the thing:  If I'm gentle enough with myself as much as possible, I think have better Windows!  

 

Where can we find the good in this?  I know it's hard to be the person who says "my health is more important than looking like a warrior in everything I do."  Our society is all about harder, faster, stronger!!  Damn the torpedoes! Power through the rough spots!  Never give in! Never rest!  Man up! No wimps allowed!  Well . . . I call BS!  All of that ridiculous showmanship is what got us into this mess in the first place!  Ultimately, I couldn't cope without the meds.  So, 14 years of meds and what did that get me?  A lot of frustration, heartache, dystonia, and still no lasting career.  The meds are not the answer; they are part of the problem.  You will be healthier because you hit this hole in the road, Dave.

 

Are you "Type A?" You probably don't realize that you can get by at 75% or 50% of what you are used to being able to do.  You own a business, right?   You have employees?  If so, you have a new task: figure out how to do "just enough."  Figure out how to delegate and supervise instead of doing too much yourself.  Figure out how make your employees want to do their jobs well and want to make your business a success.  If you have no employees, if you are a lone wolf, there's another way to do just enough; you will find it.

 

We are not machines.  We are humans.  We need rest.  We get sick.  We have to pace ourselves.  The employees of the corporations are expendable cogs in the machine -- to the executives.  They are used up and thrown away when they can't hack it.  The drugs are supposed to help them last longer.  They are seen in the same light as soldiers given "go pills."  They just have to last long enough, but no one in charge cares how many make it through to the end.  No one expects them to last forever at that pace because there are more where they came from and always will be.  This is true for employees, too, especially if 10-15 years of these drugs can help them "power through."  That reality is where the "Man up!" culture originated and where it thrives.  It's a marketing ploy to make more money.  Reject it.  It doesn't apply to you; it shouldn't apply to anyone!

 

You are not an employee that can be replaced, Dave.  (No one is!! No one is to anyone except a morally bankrupt executive, but that's another story for another time.). You are a husband, a father, a son, a breadwinner.  You wouldn't drive a workhorse the way our culture tries to drive it's people -- too little sleep, not enough breaks, skipping lunch, too few days off, too little vacation, a lot of coffee, psych meds galore, etc (not to mention "The cats in the cradle and the silver spoon  . . .). To stay with the animal theme here . . . a horse is a valuable asset to the cultures that use them.  A horse is treated gently when necessary because it's very expensive to replace.  If it needs to rest then it gets rest.  If it needs to eat, it is fed.  If it gets sick, it is nursed back to health or else someone is buying a new horse or maybe doing without.

 

You are sick.  You need rest.  Your brain isn't allowing your body to do what it would normally do in times like these when you have a flu or cold.  There is no way around that, but there is a way through.  I know you can't stop, Dave.  I know you have to run your business.  I'm in a different position than you are in some ways, but not entirely because I refuse to stop being a mother.  My child's childhood isn't a negotiable thing just as your business' success isn't negotiable (and you are a father.) You aren't expendable to your self or your family.  You are the workhorse, but you can't be replaced.

 

That's the way you have to think about it, I believe.  You can't be replaced.  So, you must be gentle with yourself.  It's the only way to make it for the long haul.  You have to see yourself as a valuable asset that is irreplaceable and must be taken care of very well.  You are sick, but you will get well.  Getting well while losing as little of your immediate value (your income) as possible is the goal, but you have to error on the side of keeping the asset alive and functioning at 50%.  It is not weakness to admit you are in need of rest; its strength, wisdom, and self-preservation.

 

Brace yourself: Maybe this isn't the year for Disney World.  Or maybe you have to stay at the hotel and "work" a few days. I went to Disneyland with my daughter twice (in Feb & March -- single days a month apart) right about the time I quit ADs.  It was hard.  We had 3 day tickets, and I couldn't take her the third day before the tickets expired in May.  You may recall that I wasn't doing well for months before I quit.  I'm not sure if it was tachyphylaxis or serotonin syndrome or both.  I just couldn't go back again.  I can't do it this year either.  It's impossible.  I don't know if I would be okay or I might be sick for weeks.  I can't risk it, but I will risk it next year.

 

I sure hope that helps.  It's a paradigm shift.  People talk about being better than ever before having gone through this hell.  I think they learned how to do just enough instead of everything to the max.  I think people who do everything to the max are more likely to be placed on these meds, and I think that coming through this trial by fire can teach us how valuable we really are to ourselves and our families.  Maybe we can treat ourselves like valuable assets that can be preserved or destroyed via the way we react when those assets need a break to recover?

 

Peace,

Rosetta

[FarmGirlWorks]

1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

That's the way you have to think about it, I believe.  You can't be replaced.  So, you must be gentle with yourself.  It's the only way to make it for the long haul.  You have to see yourself as a valuable asset that is irreplaceable and must be taken care of very well.  You are sick, but you will get well.  Getting well while losing as little of your immediate value (your income) as possible is the goal, but you have to error on the side of keeping the asset alive and functioning at 50%.  It is not weakness to admit you are in need of rest; its strength, wisdom, and self-preservation.

Articulate as ever, Rosetta. Thanks for this pep talk for DaveB and everyone.

[Rosetta]

Aw, shucks!

[DaveB]

53 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Aw, shucks!

Thanks Rosetta, your comments were amazing and very helpful. Kinda having a grind it out anxiety day. Maybe from the cold/flu/strep? Maybe from taking additional meds? Who knows but it is what it is and it will pass. Seems whatever the sickness I have been dealing with is dissipating, so that is good. Hopefully it doesn’t set my withdrawal/anxiety progress back too much as I was really feeling like I was making progress before it hit.

[Gridley]

Colds, flu, etc. ramp up WD symptoms.

[DaveB]

23 minutes ago, Gridley said:

Colds, flu, etc. ramp up WD symptoms.

 

Good to know, could be why today has been such a struggle? Hopefully it doesn't ramp it up for too long? I have been toying with the idea of ditching the multivitamin, but have been scared to as I didn't want to upset what seemed to be gradual stabilization. Would you attempt to cut it, or hold steady on EVERYTHING until stable? Sorry I am looking for such reassurance today, I just felt I was SO close before this cold/flu and would like to get back there soon. Today has been a grind!

[Gridley]

It didn't ramp me up for long at all, only the duration of the illness and lessened as I got better.

 

 My suggestion would be to just keep taking the multivitamin.  Let's keep everything stable.

[DaveB]

2 minutes ago, Gridley said:

It didn't ramp me up for long at all, only the duration of the illness and lessened as I got better.

 

 My suggestion would be to just keep taking the multivitamin.  Let's keep everything stable.

 

Hmm. mine seem to be ramping up as I am getting better (maybe I am just noticing it more as I get better?) I agree on the multivitamin, thanks Gridley!

[DaveB]

I am having a night where I am questioning everything. Will I ever heal? Why do I feel so bad? Was my starting to stabilize an illusion I tricked myself into believing? I felt like I was really getting somewhere last week, now I feel like my anxiety is as bad as ever and I am back at square one! I hate this, I am so sick of it, why can’t I just be back to normal? Have I even seen any improvement a full year later? I know many are struggling as bad or worse than me me, but most of them at least are off all drugs and healing, I am still stuck on a high dose of Paxil and a freaking Anti-Psychotic for crying out loud, and still feel terrible. Sorry for the rant, just very frustrated!

[Gridley]

You are still stabilizing.  Don't overthink and catastrophize.

[Gridley]

Dave,  I am reposting something Alto wrote to another member who was overthinking.

 

"Is it too soon to say you'll never get stable? Why anguish over something that may never happen? Is this good for you?

 

If you are in a difficult spot with drugs, is it constructive to think it will last forever? As we can see over and over, many members here, even those who frequently post with  incessant irrational worries, get better, much to their surprise. They put energy into enhancing all that suffering for nothing."

 

 

[DaveB]

2 hours ago, Gridley said:

You are still stabilizing.  Don't overthink and catastrophize.

 

I know, I am sorry. I was just REALLY hoping coming out of my physical illness I would find myself in a window equal to or better than last week when the illness started...instead I got a nice, big, fat, wave! 

[Rosetta]

Hi Dave, 

 

Boy, is it ever hard to fall back into a wave after you were feeling good!!  It's really the cruelest form of recovery.  I suppose if it were slower and more linear, we wouldn't see any hope at all for far too long.  Thinking of that makes it a little easier for me.  I'm dipping a bit right now.  It's so frustrating, but I keep trying to push aside any fear it causes.  There is no where to go but up, and we will do exactly that!

 

Rosetta

 

[DaveB]

8 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Hi Dave, 

 

Boy, is it ever hard to fall back into a wave after you were feeling good!!  It's really the cruelest form of recovery.  I suppose if it were slower and more linear, we wouldn't see any hope at all for far too long.  Thinking of that makes it a little easier for me.  I'm dipping a bit right now.  It's so frustrating, but I keep trying to push aside any fear it causes.  There is no where to go but up, and we will do exactly that!

 

Rosetta

 

3 hours ago, Gridley said:

You are still stabilizing.  Don't overthink and catastrophize.

 

Read through this today and it helped. One of my biggest weaknesses is I let myself get frustrated by the calendar. Like I can't believe it is __________ and I still feel like this. Or I have been dealing with this since ____________ and I am not better. I need to work on this as when I objectively look at it, I AM much better and able to function and dare I say even "enjoy" life at times now than I was 3,6,12 months ago. It is just such a slow and up and down process and that makes it hard! 

 

 

[Rosetta]

I'm so glad you are stabilizing. You have control over your life again, Dave.  It's not absolute control, but no one has that.  You have all the knowledge and insight to control your drug intake now.  Tapering is going to be much better than not.  You can go slow when you need to instead of just bobbing along like I do.  That's really great!

 

I know, I struggle with the same frustration.  I'm tired of this.  I want to start living again and not hold back for fear of getting too stressed.  I want to get my house in a condition that allows me to feel good and invite people over, but I probably wouldn't invite anyone over anyway.  It might get stressful.  I'm sad that I'm still struggling mentally after thinking these drugs had saved me from a life of depression.  

 

I try to think that, on the bright side, I am able to do so much more now than I would have if I had stayed on Zoloft.  That is clear to me.  You are able to do more because you are stabilizing.  How lucky that we decided to quit!  How lucky that we found this site!  How lucky that this site even exists!  How much more miserable would I be if was still taking Zoloft (as I was not doing well while on it) or if I had quit, but I still had no idea what is happening to me?  

 

What is possible is for me and you both is to manage and make life as good as it can be while in this state.  It's the same for everyone here.  They have knowledge that will help them make the right decisions and, best of all, they know they are not going crazy.  They know it's iatrogenic and that it will end.  How many have doctors who would know that?  How many have doctors that would slow taper?  How many would be on numerous anti-psychotics if not for this site?  And also, now you know what happened to me after staying on these drugs for 14 years.  You know psych drugs are not a solution.  They could poop out at any time; they could cause severe side effects; they could make you psychotic.  You are past that risk now.  You don't have to worry about that.  It's hard to see all this suffering as good luck, but it is.  It's certainly better than the alternative of blinding following the blind doctors.

 

Here's a quote from the topic you put in your last post.  This is what we need to remember: 

 

On February 10, 2014 at 11:20 PM, Petunia said:

What does healing feel like to me?

. . . 

Sometimes healing feels like I am standing still while the rest of the world races by, leaving me behind, and I panic. But then I calm down and notice that no one is going anywhere. Everyone else is racing around and around in circles and I'm sitting calmly and peacefully in the center, knowing that everything I need is right here.

 

 

 

Rosetta

 

 

[DaveB]

1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

I'm so glad you are stabilizing. You have control over your life again, Dave.  It's not absolute control, but no one has that.  You have all the knowledge and insight to control your drug intake now.  Tapering is going to be much better than not.  You can go slow when you need to instead of just bobbing along like I do.  That's really great!

 

I know, I struggle with the same frustration.  I'm tired of this.  I want to start living again and not hold back for fear of getting too stressed.  I want to get my house in a condition that allows me to feel good and invite people over, but I probably wouldn't invite anyone over anyway.  It might get stressful.  I'm sad that I'm still struggling mentally after thinking these drugs had saved me from a life of depression.  

 

I try to think that, on the bright side, I am able to do so much more now than I would have if I had stayed on Zoloft.  That is clear to me.  You are able to do more because you are stabilizing.  How lucky that we decided to quit!  How lucky that we found this site!  How lucky that this site even exists!  How much more miserable would I be if was still taking Zoloft (as I was not doing well while on it) or if I had quit, but I still had no idea what is happening to me?  

 

What is possible is for me and you both is to manage and make life as good as it can be while in this state.  It's the same for everyone here.  They have knowledge that will help them make the right decisions and, best of all, they know they are not going crazy.  They know it's iatrogenic and that it will end.  How many have doctors who would know that?  How many have doctors that would slow taper?  How many would be on numerous anti-psychotics if not for this site?  And also, now you know what happened to me after staying on these drugs for 14 years.  You know psych drugs are not a solution.  They could poop out at any time; they could cause severe side effects; they could make you psychotic.  You are past that risk now.  You don't have to worry about that.  It's hard to see all this suffering as good luck, but it is.  It's certainly better than the alternative of blinding following the blind doctors.

 

Here's a quote from the topic you put in your last post.  This is what we need to remember: 

 

 

Rosetta

 

Thanks Rosetta, you have been such a blessing to me. I am not sure why I have gotten so much worse the last few days as I am almost now totally recovered from the physical illness. I feel like I did right after I mixed up my meds at the end of December and was just grinding out every day. I feel like I have given back all the ground I had gained in the last month. Could this be from the flu? just a bad wave? Really frustrating!  

[Rosetta]

When it passes you may realize it wasn't as bad as what happened last month, but even that's not the case, you will be one step closer to being stable.  Yes, I think the flu can really destabilize the system.  Anything that causes anxiety can, but you recover faster each time.  It is very hard to detect the changes while you feel bad. It's only later that you realize that the last episode was less severe and easier to clear out.

 

I feel pretty crummy right now, too.  It's only because I've been through so many waves that I'm not letting the anxiety escalate.  In fact, I'm telling myself to relax because I know that if I start catastrophizing I'll feel worse.  I can control my anxiety; I can talk back to the thoughts in my head.  That ability wasn't there from the beginning.

[DaveB]

1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

When it passes you may realize it wasn't as bad as what happened last month, but even that's not the case, you will be one step closer to being stable.  Yes, I think the flu can really destabilize the system.  Anything that causes anxiety can, but you recover faster each time.  It is very hard to detect the changes while you feel bad. It's only later that you realize that the last episode was less severe and easier to clear out.

 

I feel pretty crummy right now, too.  It's only because I've been through so many waves that I'm not letting the anxiety escalate.  In fact, I'm telling myself to relax because I know that if I start catastrophizing I'll feel worse.  I can control my anxiety; I can talk back to the thoughts in my head.  That ability wasn't there from the beginning.

 

That is probably true, I may look back on this period as not that bad. Going through other people's intros today, it seems like those who reinstate usually feel better rather quickly, any theory on why this is not happening for me and I am still so unwell after all this time?

[DaveB]

Maybe this wave is a type of withdrawal from the Tylenol and Advil I had been taking while sick? Maybe I need to quit trying to figure it out and just deal? Haha!

[Rosetta]

I'm sorry, but I don't know what reinstating is like.  I have seen that it's not expected to make you feel normal, but to take some of the symptoms away and make them tolerable.  For some people it is better and for some not a lot better, but at least better than it would have been.  My guess is that you are a more complex case because you took several different drugs.  That doesn't mean you will have a more difficult time after you stabilize.  How difficult WD is for different people seems to be quite random.   But maybe it's going to be a little more bumpy for a while.  I'm sorry that you have go through this -- that anyone does.

[DaveB]

Bi monthly update time, would have been MUCH more positive a week ago before my illness and the wave I have found myself in after it. 

 

Symptoms I am struggling with:

 

Morning Anxiety - During this wave the morning anxiety has really been no worse than the rest of the day, which isn't really a good thing as I haven't been getting much (if any) relief at night. To be fair the morning anxiety has become more manageable as well as the night getting worse. 

 

Inability to concentrate or enjoy things - Been bad again the last 2-3 days, but went night skiing last week with my boys last week and felt almost normal. I am certainly having moments in life that I REALLY enjoy, just not as frequent as I would like. 

 

IBS - This was resolved at one point (December) but is now very bad, especially the last few days. Could be the wave, or maybe part of the illness I am getting over.

 

Oily Skin - I think this has gotten better, but really isn't an important issue either way, just something I have noticed. 

 

Face Flushing and feeling "hot" - Even in this wave, this has been almost non-existent, much better.

 

Pins and Needles -  A "light" feeling of pins and needles, usually in my legs - Another one that has diminished and has not come back much with this wave.

 

Negative Thoughts - Very much struggling with this in my current wave.

 

Early Cortisol Awakenings - Actually kind of had that today at about 6:15AM. They lacked the extreme panic of previous waves, but hopefully not a sign this will be coming back in the future. 

 

Symptoms that has gone away or are greatly reduced:

 

Sensitivity to Sound - Gone

 

Sensitivity to Smell - Gone

 

Shaking (especially in the hands) - Pretty much gone, sometimes very faint in the morning.

 

Burning Eyes - Gone, and was actually a real problem at one point.

 

OCD/Intrusive Thoughts - Was not much of an issue for a while, have come back in this wave.

 

Really my symptoms are almost down to just the anxiety, which has been really bad again the last 2-3 days (but was really good this time last week). Hopefully I will see improvements this month in this area. 

[Dalalea]

On 1/27/2018 at 2:45 PM, DaveB said:

 

Good advice,, thanks Rosetta! Body aches were coming on pretty bad so I took some Advil. I was hoping to not take anything, but I need to make it through the workday. Anyone else with advice on how not to let an illness hurt progress with withdrawal? 

I got the flu a few weeks ago. It sure skewed my symptoms data! It was all over the place but I know part of it was from the actual illness. So frustrating! I haven't had the flu for 10 years and I sure didn't need it this year with WD so strong! The little bit of energy I was holding onto before I got sick hasn't come back yet and my brain feels so foggy that I can't think to help myself come up with a plan!

I hope you feel better soon, Dave!

[RachelSusan]

@DaveB

@Rosetta

Dave,

Sorry to hear you are suffering.  It sounds like a wave, which could have been triggered by the illness, or might have happened anyway. We may never know. I do think though that you are moving in a good direction and if you don't change anything and continue as you are you will pull out of this.  I think you are doing a lot better than you were at the end of December.  If tough and it's awful but you getting through it.  A lot of the symptoms you have listed I have had in the past and then have return every time I do another taper.  The hardest part for me though was reinstating and stabilizing. Once you get through this part it should continue to get a little easier. Notice I didn't stay easy, but easier.  You will get through this and will feel better again.

Rachel

PS - Rosetta, I really like reading your posts to Dave.  They inspire me as well. Thank you for your insight. I'm sorry that you are going through this as well. It's a bad situation for all of us.

[Dalalea]

14 minutes ago, DaveB said:

Bi monthly update time

I just posted a monthly update today. It's nice to see other people do this, also. It looks like you are making progress!

[DaveB]

2 minutes ago, Dalalea said:

I just posted a monthly update today. It's nice to see other people do this, also. It looks like you are making progress!

Yes there have been improvements (even if I often doubt them). Like you I didn't need this illness (probably the flu, but never went to a doctor) and actually thought I had gotten through it fine, but just as I was pulling out of the illness this new wave slammed me. Hoping to see more anxiety improvements to add to my improvements of the more physical symptoms. 

[DaveB]

5 minutes ago, RachelSusan said:

@DaveB

@Rosetta

Dave,

Sorry to hear you are suffering.  It sounds like a wave, which could have been triggered by the illness, or might have happened anyway. We may never know. I do think though that you are moving in a good direction and if you don't change anything and continue as you are you will pull out of this.  I think you are doing a lot better than you were at the end of December.  If tough and it's awful but you getting through it.  A lot of the symptoms you have listed I have had in the past and then have return every time I do another taper.  The hardest part for me though was reinstating and stabilizing. Once you get through this part it should continue to get a little easier. Notice I didn't stay easy, but easier.  You will get through this and will feel better again.

Rachel

PS - Rosetta, I really like reading your posts to Dave.  They inspire me as well. Thank you for your insight. I'm sorry that you are going through this as well. It's a bad situation for all of us.

 

Thanks Rachel, you have been so awesome to me! I am hoping to be where you are (tapering and dealing with some symptoms, but mostly in the background) in a few months. I agree I think I am getting there, even if it is excruciatingly slow! I am not expecting easy...but easier sounds nice!

[RachelSusan]

Dave, you will be where I am. They key is to get a really stable and solid foundation under you before you attempt anything. Can't build a house on a weak foundation. You and I have a similar background, the same drug and having to reinstate. No two people are identical in anything though, especially how they react to these drugs. There are however many people on this site that have sadly gone through it before us and are willing to lend their expertise.   By the way, like you I did get a lot of relief after reinstating, but it wasn't 100% right away. Then I changed my dose around in that early period and had more problems. I think it took me 5 months to stabilize but like I said I was changing doses during that period. People tried to warn me but I had pressure coming from another direction and hadn't found my footing yet. You will stay the course and hopefully do better than I did during my early days.