SadDoll

[potions]

6 hours ago, Spruce30 said:

Have been in a wave for the last two weeks, so haven't been feeling too great recently.

 

In the last 4 months I have seen some lasting improvement in the genital anaesthesia and the emotional numbness which has been good, but the libido and anorgasmia is still bad with only small improvements that wax and wane.

 

Sometimes I struggle to feel positive about recovery when I am in a wave, but when I am in a window I feel there is hope for eventual recovery.

Spruce, in all of my windows the only things that improve are sensitivity and anhedonia (I always have anorgamsia and low libido even during windows) so you’re not alone. Also, my friend who recovered told me his windows were mostly sensitivity as well; he didn’t usually have libido improvements during windows, but he eventually made a full recovery.

 

12 hours ago, SadDoll said:

Hi Potions, thanks for your response. I know this sounds strange as we've never spoken before, but I've come across your posts in the past and pray for you sometimes. Sorry if that sounds creepy! I pray for us all on here and the other sites.

 

Have I experienced windows? I think so, yes but I have OCD so it tries to convince me I never had windows if that makes any sense?

Hard to explain but when I'm how I am now I cant think of anything else but the hell I'm in. 

I have had windows of feelings, like extreme jealousy if I see an ex with a new girl, or even romantic ones like my heart kinda speeding up if I lurked a past romantic interest online.

Feelings I cant really remember right now but they happened. Last year I had what I think were very strong feelings towards my ex and his girlfriend. Mostly envy, but it was intense.

 

Sexually, sorry for the TMI, I have had glimpses of small windows here and there but nothing like I was pre SSRI.

My issue isnt with the sexual side anymore, I just care about emotions.

 

Thank you so much for the reply, it gives me hope. Especially about the woman not really getting windows until 5 years in and then recovering

 

 

Thank you SadDoll 😊, that’s so nice of you. The windows of your romantic feelings coming back definitely sound like a good sign. Also, I forgot to mention, I know of a man who had been off ssris for 8 years and only started to improve a bit from PSSD in the 6th-7th year, then he started trazadone and it “killed all the progress he made.” So I definitely think it’s possible that some people only start improving after many years, and then they make a full recovery. From experiences I’ve read about online, many pssd sufferers see 0 improvements for a certain amount of time, and then they start to have windows and waves and that’s when they start improving. If you have windows then I’d say you’re on your way, and if not, then I’d say just wait for those to come, because once they do you know recovery is happening. There are many stories on here of people recovering from emotional anesthesia over time, and there are many stories of people recovering from PSSD over time too. Hope is definitely there. Good luck to you

-potions

[SadDoll]

Has anyone here ever come across an account of someone who was completely healed and reverted back to their pre SSRI state a few years out with little to no windows?

Or does anyone know recovered people who cold-turkeyed a high dosage? I mean in terms of anhedonia and PSSD, BTW.

 

Probably a long shot but worth a try. Any positive replies are welcome and much appreciated

[SadDoll]

Hi all, 

 

Over 4 years now  of being off all meds and experiencing complete PSSD (i think I have several mild windows over the years but no periods of full recovery) I am at my absolute rock bottom. I feel hopeless and I cant believe I'm living one my worst nightmares.

From researching further into this, I worry that I wont see any improvements until I experiment with substances, which I'm reluctant to do. I have tried Inisitol and Choline, but have had no relief. 

 

My biggest fear is, and was before I took these pills, never experiencing love again. I cant feel pleasure, joy, laughter, love, or excitement. I'm in a pit of complete despair over this as I keep reading online that this is permanent. I'm becoming a very hostile and bitter horrible person, who experienced intense episodes and pushes away loved ones. I cant cope with the cards I've been dealt with as I dont see hope in my situation. 

 

Someone, anyone, please offer me hope. I'm looking everywhere and cannot find it. I've read the success stories but they seem few and far between, and as someone who hasn't had a proper window since contacting this condition, or whatever it is, I cant relate to any of the positive stories of recovery. 

 

I just want to feel like I used to before this mess. I wake up every day hit with a wall of nothing.

 

Thanks to anyone who can offer some comfort 

 

 

 

[1Day]

Hi, 

 

There is a story online of a guy who recovered from PSSD and other withdrawal symptoms after about 11 years. My understanding is that he did not see much or any improvement until about the 11th year. 

 

I guess the point I am trying to make is that for some people it can take a very long time. The fact that somebody had these symptoms for that amount of time and then recovered shows what the body is capable of recovering from. The moderators on this site say they have seen many people recovering from the emotional blunting effects of these drugs and that it can take years. 

 

I totally understand your despair. But there are many stories of people recovering after more than 4 years. 

 

I think the hardest thing to believe is that things can change after so long. But it does happen. 

 

1Day

[Altostrata]

The phrasing of "Is recovery from [fill in the blank] possible?" implies doubt that such a thing is possible. SadDoll, you've asked this same question in many forms before, always with the same intent -- to prove that you, personally, will never recover.

 

We would not be putting the effort into running this site if we did not expect recovery. There would be no point to it, would there?

 

However, if you are of a pessimistic or self-destructive frame of mind, no amount of improvement will ever satisfy your expectation of recovery. Wherever you are, there you'll be.

[Altostrata]

On 5/10/2018 at 1:28 AM, SadDoll said:

Have I experienced windows? I think so, yes but I have OCD so it tries to convince me I never had windows if that makes any sense?

 

^THIS IS THE MOST INSIGHTFUL THING YOU HAVE EVER POSTED.

[SadDoll]

On 10/16/2018 at 9:00 PM, Altostrata said:

The phrasing of "Is recovery from [fill in the blank] possible?" implies doubt that such a thing is possible. SadDoll, you've asked this same question in many forms before, always with the same intent -- to prove that you, personally, will never recover.

 

We would not be putting the effort into running this site if we did not expect recovery. There would be no point to it, would there?

 

However, if you are of a pessimistic or self-destructive frame of mind, no amount of improvement will ever satisfy your expectation of recovery. Wherever you are, there you'll be.

Thank you Alto, that does make sense. I guess I'm pessimistic because I dont experience pre PSSD windows like the others have reported. Feel really alone in this and lost and confused. I've decided to see a nutritionalist due to the gut/brain theory, and also because I dont want to self experiment like people over on the PSSDForum. 

How is everyone else getting on?

[SadDoll]

On 10/16/2018 at 11:55 AM, 1Day said:

Hi, 

 

There is a story online of a guy who recovered from PSSD and other withdrawal symptoms after about 11 years. My understanding is that he did not see much or any improvement until about the 11th year. 

 

I guess the point I am trying to make is that for some people it can take a very long time. The fact that somebody had these symptoms for that amount of time and then recovered shows what the body is capable of recovering from. The moderators on this site say they have seen many people recovering from the emotional blunting effects of these drugs and that it can take years. 

 

I totally understand your despair. But there are many stories of people recovering after more than 4 years. 

 

I think the hardest thing to believe is that things can change after so long. But it does happen. 

 

1Day

This helps a lot, 1Day, thank you. Where did you find this story? Would love to read it. 

How are you feeling lately? Have you been trying any supplements out?

[1Day]

19 minutes ago, SadDoll said:

This helps a lot, 1Day, thank you. Where did you find this story? Would love to read it. 

How are you feeling lately? Have you been trying any supplements out?

The story is on the Benzo Buddies forum I think (he took SSRI and Benzo drugs).  But I heard most of the story from somebody else and I have seen things he wrote; for sure it is a true story, I have no doubt at all about that.

 

I am not taking anything except for the fish oil and magnesium that they recommend here.

 

I feel very bad at times, but have to keep going.  The success stories keep me going. 

[bluepm]

 Give yourself credit pat yourself on the back that you made it for 4 years you can bear the discomfort we can bear the discomfort . Do the best you can for right now eventually you will get better it’s only temporary

 

I also think that’s a great idea for your mind and gut. Antidepressants do a number on our guts get rid of all the good bacteria  as well as antibiotics just look up natural probiotics such a sour Kraut bananas yogurt Kiefer and prebiotic‘s such as Apple cider vinegar the stuff I mentioned will  not hurt you and it’s all off-the-shelf There is a website beyond meds where Monica talks about Probiotics it took her six months to clean up her Gut she was on antidepressants for over 20 years she had IBs Is just an example you can do whatever you want but nothing happens overnight that’s what I’m learning from this whole process From surviving antidepressants and benzo buddies websites everybody stresses to eat healthy when coming off antidepressants and benzo’s